 And this is for the girls. Y'all can love somebody, but in the words of Alina Baraz, don't mean they are the one. Guys, welcome back to How's He Like? In a recent episode, we had answered a lot of your guys' questions. Just a random question that you threw at us. The reason why he has a beard is because I freaking love it. Oh, this is a funny one. Do Adam have fun? I have way more fun than she does. I'm a good time. I'm gonna put that hashtag for Tamara. I'm a good time. I am a good time. There were a couple of themes that came out, including... Relationships. A lot of relationship advice questions so we figure, what the heck? Let's try to answer them. We are not experts by any stretch of imagination, but, hey, if we can help one person like people who've helped us, then so be it. So the first one comes from... Sexy, cool, JC. We both have strong individualities. I didn't realize that. I thought he was the only one with strong individual personality. She is such a pushover. I'm just kidding. Being strong-willed is not a bad thing. To me, it means that you are passionate. And that's what helps Adam and I, whenever we feel strongly about something. The first thing we have to... Well, we have to calm down and realize that it's not us against each other. It's us against the problem. We are just both very passionate human beings that are passionate about maybe different things. What about me? And Adam as well. We learn to respect that and then focus on the issue at hand. I'm just waiting. Patience. Patience. Individuality means patience. You know, you're gonna always have disagreements. The good thing is I want her and she wants me to have an opinion. It's about respecting that opinion. And realizing what we want out of that conversation. We're on the same team. Because we're on the same team and if we really think about the common denominator of a situation even when we may have different points of views, that's respect. If you watched our episode on how we met, we mentioned emails. He said, I normally don't do this. And that's what really kind of just like melted my heart because you were being honest up front. I never have done it before since. Yes. Well, I would hope not. One of the things that Adam noticed about me that I absolutely loved because we were both individually confident people. He said, I love your sassiness. And I was like, oh, that's dope. If I only knew that. But the reality is, is that is a part of who I am. I was that way when we first met at 26 and at something age. I am still the same. And he doesn't push that down. He actually accepts it and he liked it. Oh my gosh. This is where Adam and I are so different and that give and take comes into play. My perfect weekend would just be sitting at home, staying in some sweats, watching TV, hanging with the kids, cooking breakfast, cooking lunch, cooking dinner, having a glass of wine. I think I said that before and just chillaxing. That is chilling and relaxing together. Not Adam. My perfect weekend depends on the weather. If it's raining and cold and ugly outside, guess what? Hanging out, chillaxing, which isn't... It never rains in Southern California. It's raining Southern California right now. I know, but I've experienced that. I want to finish my point. Okay, go ahead. See, patience, patience. Back to my thought process. Okay, so I have two perfect weekends. If it's ugly outside and cold, hanging out at home, doing exactly what she says. But if it's warm outside, I don't mind actually hanging outside. If it's warm too, I'm hanging at home, but I want to be outside. I want to be in the pool. I want to be in the sun. I want to listen to music. I want to maybe do a project or something. But I also like to go see and do. So not all the time. Not all the time. No, that's a good thing. I like to just go for a... Even just go like a Sunday drive with the kids. Remember when I was little, I used to go for a Sunday drive with my parents and my grandparents. And they would go look at property or whatever. Just go for a drive. I remember some of the coolest moments were sitting in that car and hearing them talk. And remember there were times I wanted to be in their memories. Like I wanted to be like, oh, I wish I was born then when they were doing that. So those things are really cool. So it's kind of a mix. So I do actually agree with you on some things on the chillaxing weekend, especially when it's cold and rainy. But I also like to go do and see as well. I like to go out. I want to experience things. Exclusive fun fact for the Housley life. I had to drink coffee like every day just to keep up with this one. She would sleep a lot. You did. You slept a lot. I was like, you're gonna sleep. Albert Einstein. You sleep your life away. He said it's very healthy to get naps. Naps are one thing. Sleep in 21 hours a day is another. I did not sleep 21 hours. I think the longest nap I ever had is like two and a half, three hours. Oh, crap. Babe, I have never slept longer than that. That is not true. I wish your family was here. No, they know. They take naps. Your naps were like three hours. Did I not just say two and a half, three hours? No, you just had two to two and a half. I did. I said two and a half to three hours. I said that is the longest nap. Obviously, that's a nap. That's a sleep. That's a coma. I love naps so much. Like I get excited. Like I like folding my bed, fluffing my pillow, and I always say I have a date with my pillow. I don't mind a nap. I used to. But now you take naps. I do. But mind like 25, 30 minutes? Done. Perfect. 45 minutes. That's a cat nap. No, cat naps are like five minutes. What do you think? Tell us in the comments. Five minutes is not even a nap. It takes me like five minutes to take a nap. I didn't say five minutes. I said five minutes are cat nap. Ten minutes. I'm 35, 40 minutes. You guys tell us in the comments. I know you're going to be with her. That is a power. 35, 40 minutes are perfect. Can I just define my naps because I love naps? Three hours. Cat nap is like the short, short naps. Power naps is like a nap that kind of gives you energy to get through the day. That's like 20, 30. Ain't no shame in my game. That's why I still look young. And like a really good nap, like a nap, nap is two hours. There are moments where Adam and I in the midst of those, you know, highs or even the low moments where we look at each other and we say, you know what? I ain't going anywhere. You going somewhere? I ain't going anywhere. So we got to figure this out. And, oh, hi, hi, hi. Oh, oh, she's looking for, she's looking for, Aiden, do you want to go? Do you want to go? Do you want to go say hi to your sister? I don't want to stay here with you. All right, all right, come sit here. Araya, Araya, come here and sit with mommy and daddy. We're talking about relationships. Speaking of a strong-willed individual, there she went. There she goes. And here she comes again. Araya, hey, Aiden is with you now? Let's switch. We're doing a switcheroo. All right, see that strong-willed personality. Araya knows what she wants. Okay, I'd rather be in a relationship where the other partner is free to be honest with their emotions and feelings instead of someone always just being a pushover, letting someone always get their way. Because eventually I feel like they're going to regret that and it's going to come out in different ways. Adam and I actually have check-ins. I know it may sound weird, but it actually works. We've been married this year. It'll be for nine years. And I think it's very important to just see how your spouse is doing. Sometimes you could be so focused on your career, the kids that you forget or, hot, this is a big one, people are so focused on their own happiness in their relationship that they actually forget, yo, you have another partner. How are they feeling? So there have been times where I've asked Adam, hey, are you happy? And he'll be like, yeah. I'm like, Adam, are you happy with everything? Is there something that we could do a little bit differently about our relationship? And he's like, yeah, for the most part, I am happy. But, and then we would have the same scenario vice versa. And I feel like that has really, really helped us. Well, you know, the old book from back in the 90s, Miner from Mars, Women of Her, Venus or vice versa, whatever the title is. You guys are from Mars. Think aliens. Oh, my favorite one is. Venus has the pretty rings. That's Saturn. Oh, Saturn. Never mind. It's like the old picture someone sent me of a cockpit. You know, men is like a regular, regular old, you know, car that's automatic where it's just drive neutral reverse and park and women are the inside of a fighter jet. You're like, oh my gosh, all these dials have a plane. So we're different. We're different. That's okay. I mean, the key is being able to communicate with your spouse. So for example, again, we're not relationship experts, but if I have an issue, usually I'm not on the person that will say something to me like, hey, when you were on the real, you said this yesterday, I do not wear socks by Birkenstocks. I don't even have Birkenstocks. And then she was like, oh, maybe it was your dad. So the point is that, you know, if something that bothers you, it's okay to say something about it. And but the key is the other one being able to take it. And remember, I keep saying this. We're on the same team. So I see them to her. She has to realize I'm not attacking her. I'm on her team. That's just my concern or maybe my problem that I have or whatever the issue is vice versa. She wants to come to me and say, you know what, when you did this, I got to be able to understand that she's not doing that to attack me because we're on the same team. It's a hard concept to grab, but it can be grabbed. And it's good. It's really good for relationship and for friendships too. Not just relationships. So there's two ways to do this election. There's three ways to do this with date night. Every once in a while, babysitter will cancel. And so guess what? We find a way to take the kids with us. The second way was we had someone that only one time we only had an hour on a Friday. We literally had an hour. And there's like, we have an hour. What do you want to do? And I'm like, we're going to go here and there's a place down the street happened to be a brewery actually. We went down there and we had a little sampler together just by ourselves for an hour. And that was fun. Connecting was awesome. And that's the key. And then the third one obviously is to find a babysitter. To find like someone in the neighborhood. Make the effort to find, you can find somebody. Adam said the key word. I'm learning not to jump in when Adam talks as well. My sister and I have been doing that for years. Never. But anyway, Adam said the key word is connect. Connection. I agree with a lot of the stuff he said. Now, we don't know your full situation. Maybe you don't have anyone to watch the kids. So I would say the main thing is find something that you can do even with the kids around in your house to connect sometimes. And we've actually done this once before. If you have if you have games, iPhones, or, you know, a television, put something on just for 30 minutes or an hour in another room. You and your spouse can watch something in your room. Netflix, chill, have a little quickie. Drink some wine and you, I mean, it does wonders. It still works. Or, or, here's another one. Here's another one. Cook together. Just cooking together with that glass of wine and like I, like I say, make sure you connect when you're doing it and just give the kids an activity that they can do on the side. I'm telling you just the idea of you guys trying to do it and seeing that your husband or you want to do something like that, that could be enough too. So that is not an easy answer. But I'll tell you this. You have to like that person. It's literally that simple. So it doesn't matter like, for example, that to marriage an actress and I was a news guy or, you know, we both believe in God, but she went to this church and I went to that church. I mean, it comes down to is this someone that you want to be with, you want to hang with? Is this person your best friend? It's that simple. If it is, if that person is your best friend, then it's worth fighting for. It's worth figuring it out. It's worth tackling those problems together. If that person isn't your best friend or there's some serious issues in the sense of, well, we don't agree on some major issues, then it's not worth saving. In fact, it's better to have those conversations now. We had those conversations before we got married. I mean, we were together for five and a half years before we got married. Yeah. We broke up for a while too and we had to go through some of those things. There were they were looking back. It was really nothing major. It was like outside influences, but there were still things we had to talk about. Do we want to have kids? You know, I had a friend that just their relationship broke up because they decided that after, you know, five years he wanted to have kids and she didn't, you know, those things need to be talked about before. Well, you know, even while the bliss is still going, find out because sometimes when you're in the blissful moments, they can cause illusions. You're not getting the truth of that person and your relationship. And if you are looking to get married, oh, baby, the truth will come out. If you're constantly trying to fight and like figure things out all the time, it's probably not meant to be. If you feel like you're always, always swimming upstream. So what I say, so simple, if you are crying more than you're laughing, ain't it? And there's one more. I think of a cup, right? My mom actually told me this in a relationship. There's always give and take, right? He should be feeling your cup and then there are times. Oh my gosh, he annoys you. The water goes out. But the thing is, is you should always be feeling that cup. Yes, life isn't perfect. The water goes out, but feel that cup. Water goes out. If that water is always going out and you and you're always empty, you're going to be thirsty. Yes, you're going to be thirsty and it's not meant to be. Stay my favorite part of our wedding. I love to sing and Adam had hired a band and I got to sing along with the band. That was freaking awesome. And I got to sing our song, which is Don't Stop Believing by Journey. And I got to sing our song. Our second part of the song, which is going back to Cali by Uncle Jay, which is perfect. My favorite part of our wedding was seeing her, my turn the corner and looking down that aisle with the flower petals and seeing all of our friends and family from all over the world and seeing her at the end with our pastor and our families. And it just, and she looked gorgeous and I still think of that view and think, wow, I remember thinking, holy smokes, I was nervous. But so what do you guys think? I mean, that'd be fun to kind of maybe our anniversary's coming up nine years. We've been together 15 but nine years for our anniversary. Maybe we should do an episode about, maybe talk about our wedding for one of these. That'd be really cool if we can kind of. We can use our photos again. Yes. I think it's balance, whether it be your job or what you want to do in life or maybe something you really invested in, it's all about being on the same team. So if Tamara comes to me and says, you know, I really like, for example, the real. Tamara's like, I don't know if I should do this. I said, you know what, I think, I think it's for some reason, I think you should. And I think you'd be great at it because you've never done that type of thing. And, you know, that was a purpose, a new purpose for her and her career. It ended up being a great decision. There's been times, you know, when I was like, I don't know if I want to do news right now. I mean, I love covering news. I love seeing history, but it's become so political and that's not me and you know, and Tamara was like, you know what, I think, I think we can do this. You can, you can, you can walk away. We're going to be fine. So I think a lot of it is just communication and being able to support one another and knowing that, hey, those paths change sometimes, you know, sometimes the path may be this way and then guess what? You get to there and you're like, oh, whoa, no, it's turned this way and it's okay to adapt. I see us as each other's purpose partner. And I think the pee pee. I think that when you are thinking of getting married, yes, you can date someone. So I always say to like, you can fall in love or maybe just because I love, love, like I have fallen in love with people before and way back in my past that I am grateful. I say thank you that I didn't work out because looking back, they were not my purpose partner. Adam and I, we support each other in our own purpose. But we also have one main purpose and that is, well, we all, we both love God. So we pray about everything. We have faith. So in those moments where I may have to step back a little bit, we pray about the situation and we support and have faith because in the beginning Adam was very much focused on his journalism career. I had Aiden, Adam was traveling a lot. I couldn't go out on as many auditions as I wanted. But in that moment, I had faith that we were exactly where we were supposed to be and I supported him. Cut two years later, Adam did the exact same thing for me when I did the real. There was somebody else you love before. Oh my gosh. There's a famous song that comes out called, from Gareth Brooks called Sometimes I Thank God for an Answered Prayers. On that question, I would say Adam's Confidence. That is one of the main traits that attracted me to Adam. I dealt with a lot of insecure men, maybe because I don't know. I mean, I didn't realize my career had made some men very intimidated. Really? Yeah. I thought it was some, I thought, well, there could have been some things wrong with me too. No. But there were a lot of men who were intimidated. They were intimidated by my success. And yes, I had success at a very young age. That is rare, but what I loved about Adam, Adam was like, yo, that's dope. I love that she's successful. So he was very confident. He was very confident in how he approached me. So I would love for my children, both of my children, to have that. I think they do. I just want them to keep it. I would say there are two things. Two. I get two. He is feeling. Her spirit. Aww. And her singing voice. Well, thank you. I know Aria has it. Aria has two for two. Adam has a spirit. Aria does have a spirit. You know, we get a lot of questions about this. And maybe it's something we do later on in a full episode. Just talk about things. Because you listen to talking is the best medicine. I think it's what? Next year or the next couple of years, the majority of kids born in this country are going to be mixed. Yeah. So it shows that a lot of those barriers are being broken down. And for me, for someone, I grew up in the Bay Area. And candidly, the Bay Area, I never thought anything of it. Honestly, I didn't. And obviously, I'm a white guy. I understand. No, it's hard for you to believe that. You're white? I know. But I never thought much about it. Honestly, because I mean, in high school, I remember I had friends who had girlfriends who were Filipino or whatever. It was never, for some reason, call us naive. But in the Bay Area, when I grew up in the 80s and 90s, we didn't think about that. We didn't think about, oh, his girlfriend's black, or his girlfriend's Asian, or his girlfriend's, you know, Indian, or whatever it happened to be. We thought, oh, his girlfriend's nice, or she's pretty. Or, hey, she's a pretty girl. Man, why is she with him? I mean, it was more on that. We never thought about the racial part of it. So I know other parts of the country were like that. That's just the way I grew up. Yeah. And you already had the experience. And I also want to say, just stay out there. It's OK to have your preference. Totally. If you like a particular type, OK, cool. But don't be afraid to be open. And I mean, I think maybe because I was raised in, you know, I'm biracial. I was raised in an interracial household, interracial marriage. It was always accepted. So kind of like how you, you know, like if you saw somebody with someone of a different race, it wasn't like a full stop. Wait, she's with a, yeah. He's with a, I don't understand how that works. I guess that's the blessing of how, you know, we've been raised. So we don't really think about it that way. It's when people comment sometimes on our relationship, they're like, oh, wait, yeah, I guess this is the thing. OK. Yeah. I mean, the first thing for me is I never thought about it. And even now I don't think about it. Like I don't think, oh, I'm married to a black woman or a mixed woman. I don't, I don't think about that. I'm married to a beautiful woman who I love. I don't think about anything other than that. One of the coolest things I liked I got to do with you is when we got to go see the loving premiere about the mixed couple in North Carolina, I think it was in back in the 50s when they were the ones that helped change the law to allow mixed couples to get married. That's crazy to even think that back in the day, it was against the law to marry someone of a different race. I mean, it's really against a lot of marrying an actress, but nothing else. If you're married to an actress, you know what I mean. Oh my gosh. This is the second time. Third time, Adam. You're sleeping on the couch. I want you to want to do it. I want you to want me. I want him to want to do the dishes. I need you to need me. What song is that? Need it. I can't remember. Do you know my name is Luca? I live on the second floor. I live upstairs from you. I don't think I ever seen you before. And I see you're true. Okay, you know what, stop. See, you know what, this is one of the things that I absolutely love about Adam and I. I've talked about this on The Real 2. We connect with our love for 80s music. And 80s movies. And music in general. We like that.