 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Parquet Margarine. Every day, millions of women all over America serve Parquet Margarine because it tastes so good. To market, to market, to get some Parquet. You'll like it, you'll love it, like millions who say their favorite margarine is. Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet Margarine, made by Kraft. When his niece Marjorie started going out with boys, the Great Gilder Sleeve laid down certain rules. We'll skip all but one because everybody else has. But every Friday night, the Great Man still insists on unlocking the door to let her in. I have to keep an eye on things. Good night, Ben. Come along, Marjorie. Good night, Ben. Every night the same thing. Good night, Marshal. Come along, Marjorie. Good night, Marshal. It's after two o'clock. Good night, Oscar, darling. Come along, Marjorie. Good night, Oscar, darling. Marjorie, what's this darling stuff? Who is this Oscar? Is this getting serious? Serious. It's practically sacred. Good night, Anki. Marjorie, I want to talk to you. Don't spoil the mood, Uncle Mordi. I have a date with a dream. Wait till I see her in the morning. It'll be a nightmare. What's the matter, Mr. Gilder Sleeve? Don't the breakfast suit you? It's all right, Bertie. I'll wait till Leroy brings Marjorie down. Oh, something wrong? Ordinarily, there ain't much waiting around this place. The way you pushed the plate back, I thought maybe you didn't like my breakfast. Everything's fine, Dandy. Well, it's getting cold. You like me to reheat the coffee? It's getting cold. No, thanks, Bertie. I put it there and it's getting cold. Yes, yes. Ain't no use cooking it if you're just gonna leave it late. Now, Bertie. If you don't eat it, it ain't no fault of mine. All right, Bertie. I put it there. That's all I can do. I put it there, but it's getting cold. I can't marjorie come to breakfast on time. She knows I want to talk to her this morning. Running around all hours mooning over somebody I don't even know. Oscar, a girl her age. She said she'd be down on the mountain, dog. Yes, Leroy. No remark, young man. She says it's Saturday when she usually sleeps. There'll be no sleep this morning. She kept me up until 2 a.m. waiting for her. Yeah, I think of that other poor guy she kept up too. Oh boy, bacon and eggs. Leroy, put down that knife. Put on. Drop that toast too. What did I do? We'll have breakfast together. We'll be polite and go wait until everybody's seated. Like refined people. That's a ruler on here. But everything's getting cold. I'll put it there. Start on your prunes, my boy. Well, I can eat prunes any time. They're always cold and clammy. Leroy, this is no time to give me an argument. I just dare anybody to try it. Marjorie. Good morning. What's everybody have to get up for? Marjorie, do you realize you kept us waiting for breakfast? But Uncle Mordit's Saturday morning. I mean, after all... Marjorie, you refused to discuss this Oscar with me last night. What is there to discuss? We're going steady. Marjorie. You mean you excluded all your other boyfriends for this Oscar? Certainly. And last night, you got home at 2 o'clock this morning? Uncle Mordit, that's not entirely true. I was here at 1.30. Then why didn't you let me know? I was waiting up. I didn't hear a sound. Marjorie, did that boy... Kiss me? What if he did? Did he? If you must know, we were talking about horses. Leroy. Horses, eh? At 1.30 in the morning? Marjorie, what's wrong with you? Oscar just likes horses, that's all. He's Assistant Riding Master at the Oak Park Stables. A stable boy. What's his last name? Van Buren. Oscar Van Buren. He comes from a good family. He's a Dutchman. He doesn't keep away from here. He'll be a flying Dutchman. He's exquisite. He has a wonderful way with horses. Good. And let him confine it to horses. Next week, I want you to have a date with somebody else. Break it up. I will not. Marjorie. Uncle Morton, you have no right to dictate who my friend shall be. Oscar is a perfectly nice boy, and you may as well know that I don't intend dating anybody else ever. But you hardly know this new boy. It's the same old thing. Every time I look at a new boy, you object. No, Marjorie. You are suspicious and unreasonable, Uncle Morton. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm a woman. Oh, I forbid you to become a woman. I mean... I mean to see this Oscar again. I will see him again. You can't stop me. I can't stop you as long as you're my niece. Marjorie, come back here and eat your breakfast. Why do girls have to have boyfriends? Oh, Mr. Youngest Name. Good morning, Pee-Vee. What can your friendly neighborhood druggist do for you today? Give me a hot cup of coffee, friendly neighborhood druggist. Where'd you get that title, Pee-Vee? No, we just appropriated it, Mr. Youngest Name. Took a small ad in the high school paper. You'll see it. That is, if you read the high school paper. We said good luck from your friendly neighborhood druggist. How do you like the wording? It's all right. Fine. For a high school publication, you don't think I'm tooting my horn too loudly? No, Pee-Vee. Go ahead and toot. How about that cup of coffee? I'm sorry, Mr. Youngest Name, but my coffee master is out of coffee this morning. How about a Coke? I need something warm. Well, I can warm the Coke. No, thanks, Pee-Vee. Give me a hot chocolate. Well, it seems we're out of chocolate this morning, too. You gods, what kind of a drugstore is this? Well, we're friendly. But you're out of everything when I need something warm. I didn't eat a bite of breakfast. You out of everything, too, Mr. Youngest Name? No. Birdie put it there, but I had a big argument with Marjorie. Upset everybody. Well, I'm sorry I don't have the hot chocolate for you, Mr. Youngest Name. I find it very soothing after a breakfast controversy. Just drank the last cup myself. I hope yours was nothing serious. It's getting pretty serious, Pee-Vee. Marjorie's running around too much. Has more dates than I do. Well, she's prettier than you are. Yes, but her dates are all with the same boy. I'm not going to stand by and let Marjorie do something she might always regret. Pee-Vee, I just can't understand women. Well, only about half the people can. And they're all women. You may have something there, Pee-Vee. By George, I think I'll go talk to Doris Dowrymple about this thing. No, I know what that would lead to. I'll go see Eve. Thanks for the idea, Pee-Vee. Don't mention it, Mr. Youngest Name. Feel free at any time to call on your friendly neighborhood druggist. That's what I like about you, Pee-Vee. You are friendly, yes, sir? Just as willing to give a man advice as you are to sell him something. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Druggmorton, what a nice surprise. Sorry to barge in on you like this, Eve, but I've got to talk to you. It's very important. Why, of course, anytime. But let's not stand out here. It's chilly. Yeah, chilly. You remember where to put your hat, don't you, Druggmorton? Oh, sure. See? Lands on the hall tree, just like always. It looks as though you've been practicing somewhere else. Won't you sit down? Yeah, thank you. Always good to be here, Eve. It's been a long time since I sat on this sofa. Yes, it has. Doesn't feel the same. Used to sort of fit me. It had to be re-upholstered. Last summer. Oh, yeah. Well, time does fly. Yes, doesn't it? Yeah. Eve, I've got things on my mind. Big things. Oh. Eve? Yes? I'll come to the point. How long do you think a fellow should go with a girl before she lets him kiss her? Well, you certainly do come to the point. Oh, I'm not talking about us, Eve. It's Marjorie. She fancies herself in love with a boy. She's probably gone out with a couple of times. Oh, aren't teenagers fun, Throckmorton? Ah. Well, they fall in love and out again every other day. Sometimes between classes. And the more capricious they are, the less we worry. This is different, Eve. I can't reason with her. Since she met this fellow, she pays no attention to me. He's nothing but a bridal path cowboy. Cowboy? Well, an assistant riding master. And I've given orders she isn't to see him again. Oh. Well, do you think that was wise, Throckmorton? If he isn't the right boy, why not give Marjorie a chance to discover it? You know, sometimes you can discourage romance by encouraging it. Why not encourage one of Marjorie's for a change and see what happens? Well, nobody ever encourages mine. Throckmorton, you don't need any encouragement. I'm sure Marjorie is intelligent enough to know what she's doing. Maybe you're right, Eve. I'll do it. Maybe I can't stand having Marjorie mad at me. I'll go home and help the little romance along. Everything will turn out all right, Throckmorton. Eve, you're wonderful. Well, I like to hear you say it. Eve. But I'm afraid I'll have to chase you home now. I'd plan to go shopping today. When can I come back for some more advice tonight? I'm afraid not. I have so much to do. Eve. And, uh... You have an east look after, remember? Yeah. Well, some other time, Eve. Goodbye. Goodbye. Eve, you're terrific. Throckmorton! Well, you said encourage romance. I was just reviving an old one. Where's my hat? Oh, I'd love it. I'd adore to. It sounds super, Oscar, really. Well, hello, everybody. It's me. I'm home. Oh, pardon me, my dear. I didn't know you were on the telephone. I'd better hang up now, Oscar. A little Caesar just came in. Goodbye. Go right ahead. Don't hang up on my account, my dear. Perfectly all right. Why don't you call him back? Enjoy yourself. Are you feeling all right, Uncle Marge? Feeling fine, Marge. We never better. And I must say you were never prettier, my dear. No, sir. Wonderful dress. Don't blame Oscar for falling for you. Little Marge. Uncle Marge, what's come over you? Well, sorry about this morning, Marge. You were right. I was suspicious and unreasonable. You certainly were. I owe you an apology. Oscar's a fine boy. Splendid type, no doubt. How do you know? Well, he must be here. You wouldn't like him. Oh, Uncle, I was nasty, too. You're wonderful. Yes, sir. From now on, you may see Oscar as often as you like. Why not invite him over for dinner sometime? Uncle, you're the best Uncle a girl ever had. I want to be. Anything for you and Leroy. Then, Anki, will you do something for me? Anything. Well, Oscar has invited me to go riding with him. Will you teach me how to ride a horse? A horse. But Marge... I wouldn't dare let Oscar know I've never ridden. He'd think I was just too impossible if I couldn't ride a horse. Will you teach me, Anki? Well... You promised to do anything. Marge, it's been a long time since your old uncle has had anything to do with horses. But you said when you were in the National Guard you were in the cavalry. Yes, my dear, but everybody in the cavalry didn't ride the horses. But this will make you happy. More from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a minute. You know, as the Parquet reporter, I keep posted on how summer field folks feel about Parquet, the margarine of craft quality. The other day I bumped into Leroy and said, Say, Leroy, I'm looking for someone to talk with about Parquet. I'm your man, Mr. Wald, your boy, I mean. Well, how about making a statement concerning Parquet margarine? Sure. I like it. How do you like it, Leroy? Wow, great. Oh, no, I mean, on what do you like Parquet? Well, just about anything, I guess. Well, can't you be more specific? Do you like Parquet on rolls, muffins, pancakes, waffles? You bet. Parquet is my favorite spread for bread and toast, too. Well, did you know that Parquet margarine, the margarine of craft quality, mind you, actually costs less now than it did a year ago? Marty knows about prices. I'm in the eating and liking department. I guess that's true with most of us, man, Leroy. The ladies know about costs as well as taste and nourishment. They know that Parquet is made only from choice products of American farms that each pound contains 15,000 units of important vitamin A. They know it's economical. But the main reason millions of women all over America serve Parquet margarine is it tastes so good. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet margarine made by craft. Now let's return to the Great Gildersleeve. It has been written and oft quoted, the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a man. But we know a man who likes the inside of a house much better than the outside of a horse. Uncle Morse. Do you think what you flew? Uncle Morse at six o'clock. Six o'clock? Oh, come in, my dear. You said you'd give me a riding lesson this morning before school. Oh, yes. Well, let the horses sleep for about an hour. But I have to be in school by nine. Maybe they won't have school today. Maybe today is Saturday. It is not. It's Monday. Come on, Uncle Morse, we're going riding. But look, snow on the windowsill. It's just a light snowfall. It'll be beautiful in the park. And, Anki, I just have to learn to ride for Oscar. Yes, Oscar. Well, Margie. Yes, Uncle Morse? I overlooked a little something. Perhaps we'd better go tomorrow morning. Forgot to buy some riding britches. Uncle Morse. You're no more sorry than I am, my dear. Tomorrow morning early, huh? All right. But tomorrow morning for sure. And get your riding pants at the Boots and Saddle Shop. Oscar gets the commission. Hmm. Now I'm wide awake. It's six o'clock in the morning. Now I'll never get back to sleep. Why did I ever? We will appreciate what I'm going through for. Horseback riding. That's breaking up a romance the hard way. It may not be a pair of riding britches in the old town to fit me. How do you do? Can I help you? Well, I'm Mr. Gildersleeve. Oscar sent me. Oh, yes. Is there a gentleman in the shop? I wanted to buy a little something personal. Well, my husband's out for the moment, Mr. Gildersleeve. But I'm certain I can help you. I know all about horses. And what men wear. I'm sure you do. Well, I need a pair of pants. Riding pants. Britches. Of course. There's nothing to be shy about. All equestrians need them. Well, yes. We can't be like the horse and just wear a blanket. Oh, yes. Now I suggest you try these English riding britches. They fit tightly around the knees, but have the wide flares all the way up to the belt. Rather roomy, Mr. Gildersleeve. Roomy? Well, I guess I am a fashionable stout. Now this is a very handsome pair of pants. Shammy reinforced inside the knees where you gripped the horse. Gripped the horse. They're wonderful for robust, outdoorsy men like you. Water repellent. Well, I don't mind a little water. I'm water commissioner. Where do I try them on? Oh, right in that little room behind the mirror. But let's be certain we have the right size first. What is your girth, Mr. Gildersleeve? Well, before breakfast, you mean? That's when I'll be riding. Do you have a size 44? Well, let's try a 48. When you get on a horse, you're liable to settle a little. Yes, we all do. Now take these and I'll hand you some boots. Oh, yes, some boots. You're in these little rooms. Houdini couldn't get out of his pants in here. Look how small they are around the knees. I never get through that little hole without a suction pump. Well, I'll give it a try. Well, that's one of them. Now for the left one. A suit. Nearly put an elbow through the wall. Is everything all right in there, Mr. Gildersleeve? Yes, everything's fine. I wonder why they don't make riding britches with bell bombs. Now they're stuck right below the knee. Either way, I'm trapped in a pair of English riding britches. Something wrong, Mr. Gildersleeve. Wrong? Is your husband come back? No. Don't suffocate. Well, one more try. Now pull. Mr. Gildersleeve, are you certain you're all wrong? Oh, yes, Mrs. Madam, coming right out. Something wrong? You look wonderful in those riding britches. Oh, I do? Turn around. Why, they were made for you. And when you get the boots on, you'll look just like some dashing Englishman. Look in the mirror. Well, not bad. Shall I wrap them up? No, I think I'll wear them. I have to wear them. Actually, in the window. Might as well step in at the barbershop and give Floyd a little treat. Oh, cheerio, Floyd. Hi, Commissioner. Well, pipe the new get out there. How do you like it, Floyd? You'll have to admit you've never seen an outfit like this before. I admit it. Now get in the chair quick and I'll throw a sheet over you. How, Floyd? Ha-ha, only kidding. You look great. Huh? Yes, sir. Sit down, Commissioner. You can, can't you? Of course I can. Give me a shave. That's a way. I see the elevator boys down the city hall got new outfits, too. Oh? What does that have to do with me, Floyd? The mayor's orders for inspecting the reservoir or something? No, it isn't. I'm going horseback riding. On a horse or down at the Y? Of course, on a horse. Tomorrow morning. In this kind of weather? Well, I don't care much for the idea myself, but it seems to be popular with the younger set. I'm teaching Marjorie how to ride. Oh, hey, here comes the judge. I better cover you up a little more. Well, aren't I in luck finding two of the peas I'm looking for in one pod? Hi, Judge, what's up? I'm going around reminding all jolly boys about, say, would you mind pulling the sheet back a little more, Floyd? Go ahead, Floyd. Show him. Well, if you say so. Well, will you look at that? You old goat, what's so funny about a pair of boots and riding britches? They're fine, Gildy, but it's the way you look in them. Like a lion tamer who just swallowed his lion. All right, Hook, or state your business and get out of here. My apologies, Gildy. I just stopped in to remind you and Floyd that this is the night the jolly boys set aside to take down the Christmas tree. Hey, that's right. It's about time, Judge, but I can't be there. But, Gildy, that tree sitting upstairs is becoming a fire hazard. It's dry as a bone. Yeah, and business has been so quiet since New Years, I can hear the needles dropping off the tree. Making me nervous. And taking down the tree is a tradition, Gildy. We always have a wonderful time. Well, I can't make it this year, Horace. Hate to miss it, but I'm teaching Marjorie how to ride a horse. Six o'clock in the morning. I'm going out and reserve the nags right after I get shaved. Well, I'd warn the stables first. That outfit you're wearing is enough to scare the horses off a merry-go-round. Oh, you old goat. Pull harder, Leroy, and pull who and I do. Yeah, that's one of them on. Well, the man has to go through the breakup of teenage romance these days. Getting up at six in the morning to help you out with your pants. Oh, maybe you got a raise in my allowance, huh, Unk? Well, your chances are improving, Leroy. Let's work on the other leg. It's a little tighter. Now, pull and I do. Okay. Yeah, I guess they're stretching a little. Now the boots. As long as you're getting up, can I sleep in your bed, Unk? It's always warmer. You go back to your own bed, Leroy. Hey, George, your old Unk looks pretty handsome in boots and in britches, eh, my boy? I'll say. Leroy, you make her back to bed. Oh, for goodness sake, Marjorie, wake up. It's six o'clock. Time to go riding. Please, Uncle Mort, let me get some sleep. Stretch is taking me to the school dance tonight, and I have to look alive. Stretch? Who's Stretch? Who else is there? He's only the captain of the basketball team. Two feet taller than me when I wear my flats. But what happened to Oscar? Oscar, all he can talk about is horses. As far as I'm concerned, he can drop. Marjorie, you can't do this to me. I bought the riding pants and the boots. Expensive ones. I gave up the Jolly Boys party. I got up early. I reserved the horses and paid for them. Marjorie, I forbid you to break up with Oscar. Look at all the trouble I've gone through. Those are the brakes, Jack. Leroy. You may go back to bed. I guess I will, too, if I can get out of these pants. Take a round, folks. Maybe the great man will find some use for them. Quality, flavor, nourishment, economy. Those are the things you want when you buy a spread for bread. Those are the things you get when you ask for parquet margarine made by Kraft. The name Kraft means quality. Parquet made by Kraft means a spread with delicious fresh nourishment at a price lower today than it was a year ago. That, my friend, is really economy. And remember, every pound of tasty parquet margarine is fortified with 15,000 units of vitamin A. It's true, the better buy for bread and budget is P-A-R-K-A-Y parquet margarine made by Kraft. Oh, give me my boots and this saddle. Tilly, tilly. Hello, Sam. Hello, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Say, you've really been taking off the weight since you came down here to ride. Ah, yes. Great exercise. Nice riding outfit, too. Yeah, thank you. Should I book you for two o'clock tomorrow? I think I'll ride about 15 minutes more right now. OK. Hang on. Don't worry. It was a great idea, Floyd had. Riding down here at the YMCA. Get up, C-Biscuit. Good night, folks. See you at the barn. The Great Children's Day was played by Harold Perrick. It was written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Leacon. This is John Wall. Saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company. Makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further Adventures of the Great Gilda Sleeve. Does your family like macaroni and cheese that's fluffy light with golden cheddar cheese flavor through and through? Then get Kraft Dinner from your food store tomorrow. One package of Kraft Dinner contains enough quick-cooking macaroni and golden Kraft grated to make a dish of macaroni and cheese that will serve four people. It's a grand, thrifty main dish. And Kraft Dinner cooks in just seven minutes. So for quick, economical, swell-tasting macaroni and cheese, get Kraft Dinner. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.