 Chapter 12 of the professor. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Professor by Charlotte Bronte. Chapter 12. Daily as I continued my attendance at the Seminary of Mademoiselle Reuter did I find fresh occasions to compare the ideal with the real. What had I known of female character previously to my arrival at Brussels? Precious little. And what was my notion of it? Something vague, slight, gauzy, glittering. Now when I came into contact with it I found it to be a palpable substance enough. Very hard too sometimes and often heavy. There was metal in it both lead and iron. Let the idealists, the dreamers about earthly angels and human flowers, just look here while I open my portfolio and show them a sketch or two penciled after nature. I took these sketches in the second class schoolroom of Mademoiselle Reuter's establishment where about a hundred specimens of the genus Schoenphe collected together offered a fertile variety of subject, a miscellaneous assortment they were differing both in caste and country. As I sat on my astrade and glanced over the long range of desks I had under my eye French, English, Belgians, Austrians and Prussians. The majority belonged to the class bourgeois. But there were many countesses, they were the daughters of two generals and of several colonels, captains and government employee. These ladies sat side by side with young females destined to be demoiselle de magasin and with some flamande, genuine aborigines of the country. In dress all were nearly similar and in manners there was small difference. Exceptions there were to the general rule but the majority gave the tone to the establishment and that tone was rough, boisterous, marked by a point blank disregard of all forbearance towards each other or their teachers. An eager pursuit by each individual of her own interest and convenience and a coarse indifference to the interest and convenience of everyone else. Most of them could lie with audacity when it appeared advantageous to do so. All understood the art of speaking fair when a point was to be gained and could with consummate skill and at a moment's notice turn the cold shoulder, the instant civility ceased to be profitable. Very little open quarrelling ever took place amongst them but back biting and tail bearing were universal. Close friendships were forbidden by the rules of the school and no one girl seemed to cultivate more regard for another than was just necessary to secure a companion when solitude would have been irksome. They were each and all supposed to have been reared in utter unconsciousness of vice. The precautions used to keep them ignorant if not innocent were innumerable. How was it then that scarcely one of those girls having attained the age of 14 could look a man in the face with modesty and propriety? An air of bold, impudent flirtation or a loose, silly lear was sure to answer the most ordinary glance from a masculine eye. I know nothing of the arcana of the Roman Catholic religion and I am not a bigot in matters of theology. But I suspect the root of this precocious impurity, so obvious, so general in popish countries is to be found in the discipline if not the doctrines of the Church of Rome. I record what I have seen. These girls belonged to what are called the respectable ranks of society. They had all been carefully brought up, yet with the mass of them mentally depraved. So much for the general view. Now for one or two selected specimens. The first picture is a full length of Aurelia Kozlov, a German Freiline or rather a halfbreed between German and Russian. She is 18 years of age and has been sent to Brussels to finish her education. She is of middle size, stiffly made, body long, legs short, bust much developed but not compactly moulded, waist disproportionately compressed by an inhumanly braced corset. Dress carefully arranged, large feet tortured into small botine, had small hair smoothed, braided, oiled and gummed to perfection. Very low forehead, very diminutive and vindictive grey eyes, somewhat tartar features, rather flat nose, rather high cheekbones. Yet the ensemble not positively ugly, tolerably good complexion, so much for person, as to mind deplorably ignorant and ill informed, incapable of writing or speaking correctly, even German her native tongue, a dunce in French and her attempts at learning English are mere farce. Yet she has been at school twelve years. But as she invariably gets her exercises of every description done by a fellow pupil and reads her lessons off a book concealed in her lap, it is not wonderful that her progress has been so snail-like. I do not know what Ohelia's daily habits of life are, because I have not the opportunity of observing her at all times. But from what I see of the state of her desk, books and papers, I should say she is slovenly and even dirty. Her outward dress, as I have said, is well attended to. But in passing behind her bench, I have remarked that her neck is grey for want of washing. And her hair, so glossy with gum and crease, is not such as one feels tempted to pass the hand over, much less to run the fingers through. Ohelia's conduct in class, at least when I am present, is something extraordinary, considered as an index of girlish innocence. The moment I enter the room she nudges her next neighbour and indulges in a half suppressed laugh. As I take my seat on the astride, she fixes her eye on me. She seems resolved to attract and, if possible, monopolise my notice. To this end she launches at me all sorts of looks, languishing, provoking, leering, laughing. As I am found quite proof against this sort of artillery, for we scorn what unasked is lavishly offered, she has recourse to the expedient of making noises. Sometimes she sighs, sometimes groans, sometimes utter's inarticulate sounds for which language has no name. If in walking up the school room I pass near her, she puts out her foot that it may touch mine. If I do not happen to observe the manoeuvre and my boot comes into contact with her bodicare, she affects to fall into convulsions of suppressed laughter. If I notice the snare and avoid it, she expresses her mortification in sullen muttering, where I hear myself abused in bad French, pronounced with an intolerable low German accent. Not far from Mademoiselle Kosloff sits another young lady by name Adèle Droncaire. This is a Belgian, rather low of stature, in form heavy with broad waist, short neck and limbs, good red and white complexion, features well chiseled and regular, well cut eyes of a clear brown colour, light brown hair, good teeth, age not much above 15, but as full grown as a stout young English woman of 20. This portrait gives the idea of a somewhat dumpy but good looking damsel, does it not? Well, when I looked along the row of young heads, my eye generally stopped at this of Adèle's. Her gaze was ever waiting for mine, and it frequently succeeded in arresting it. She was an unnatural looking being, so young, fresh, blooming, yet so gorgon-like. Suspicion, sullen ill temper were on her forehead, vicious propensities in her eye, envy and panther-like deceit about her mouth. In general she sat very still, a massive shape looked as if it could not bend much, nor did her large head, so broad at the base, so narrow towards the top, seem made to turn readily on her short neck. She had but two varieties of expression. The prevalent one, a forbidding dissatisfied scowl, varied sometimes by a most pernicious and perfidious smile. She was shunned by her fellow pupils, for bad as many of them were, few were as bad as she. Aurelia and Adèle were in the first division of the second class. The second division was headed by a pensioner named Juana Trista. This girl was of mixed Belgian and Spanish origin. A Flemish mother was dead, a Catalonian father was a merchant residing in the blank aisles, where Juana had been born and whence she was sent to Europe to be educated. I wonder that anyone looking at that girl's head and countenance would have received her under their roof. She had precisely the same shape of scowl as Pope Alexander VI. Her organs of benevolence, veneration, conscientiousness, adhesiveness were singularly small. Those of self-esteem, firmness, destructiveness, combativeness, preposterously large. Her head sloped up in the penthouse shape, was contracted about the forehead and prominent behind. She had rather good though large and marked features. Her temperament was fibrous and bilious. Her complexion pale and dark, hair and eyes black, form angular and rigid, but proportionate. Age 15. Juana was not very thin, but she had a gaunt visage and her regard was fierce and hungry. Narrow as was her brow, it presented space enough for the legible graving of two words, mutiny and hate. In some one of her other lineaments, I think the eye, cowardice had also its distinct cipher. Mademoiselle Trista thought fit to trouble my first lessons with a coarse workday sort of turbulence. She made noises with her mouth like a horse. She ejected her saliva. She used brutal expressions. Behind and below her was seated a band of very vulgar, inferior looking flamande. Including two or three examples of that deformity of person and the imbecility of intellect, whose frequency in the low countries would seem to furnish proof that the climate is such as to induce degeneracy of the human mind and body. These, I soon found, were completely under her influence, and with their aid she got up and sustained a swinish tumult, which I was constrained at last to quell by ordering her and two of her tools to rise from their seats, and having kept them standing five minutes, turning them bodily out of the school room. The accomplices into a large place adjoining the grand salle, the principal into a cabinet of which I closed the door and pocketed the key. This judgment I executed in the presence of Mademoiselle Reuter, who looked much aghast at beholding so decided a proceeding, the most severe that had ever been ventured on in her establishment. Her look of a fright I answered with one of composure, and finally with a smile, which perhaps flattered and certainly soothed her. Juan Natrista remained in Europe long enough to repay, by malevolence and in gratitude, all who had ever done her a good turn, and she then went to join her father in the blank aisles, exulting in the thought that she should there have slaves, whom as she said she could kick and strike at will. These three pictures are from the life. I possess others as marked and as little agreeable, but I will spare my reader the exhibition of them. Doubtless it will be thought that I ought now, by way of contrast, to show something charming, some gentle virgin head, circled with a halo, some sweet personification of innocence, clasping the dove of peace to her bosom. No, I saw nothing of the sort, and therefore cannot portray it. The pupil in the school possessing the happiest disposition was a young girl from the country, Louise Pat. She was sufficiently benevolent and obliging, but not well taught, nor well mannered. Moreover, the plague spot of dissimulation was in her also. Honor and principle were unknown to her. She had scarcely heard their names. The least exceptional pupil was the poor little Sylvie, I have mentioned once before. Sylvie was gentle in manners, intelligent in mind. She was even sincere, as far as her religion would permit her to be so. But her physical organization was defective. Weak health stunted her growth and chilled her spirits. And then, destined as she was for the cloister, her whole soul was warped to a conventional bias. And in the tame, trained subjection of her manner, one read that she had already prepared herself for her future course of life by giving up her independence of thought and action into the hands of some despotic confessor. She permitted herself no original opinion, no preference of companion or employment, in everything she was guided by another. With a pale passive automaton air, she went about all day long doing what she was bid, never what she liked or what from innate conviction she thought it right to do. The poor little future hallijers had been early taught to make the dictates of her own reason and conscience quite subordinate to the will of her spiritual director. She was the model pupil of Mademoiselle Hoytel's establishment. Pale, blighted image, where life lingered feebly, but whence the soul had been conjured by Romish wizardcraft. A few English pupils there were in this school, and these might be divided into two classes. First, the Continental English. The daughters chiefly of broken adventurers, whom debt or dishonour had driven from their own country. These poor girls had never known the advantages of settled homes, decorous example, or honest Protestant education. Resident a few months now in one Catholic school now in another, as their parents wandered from land to land, from France to Germany, from Germany to Belgium, they had picked up some scanty instruction, many bad habits, losing every notion even of the first elements of religion and morals, and acquiring an imbecile indifference to every sentiment that can elevate humanity. They were distinguishable by an habitual look of sullen dejection, the result of crushed self-respect and constant brow-beating from their popish fellow pupils who hated them as English and scorned them as heretics. The second class were British English. Of these I did not encounter half a dozen during the whole time of my attendance at the seminary. The characteristics were clean but careless dress, ill-arranged hair compared with the tight and trim foreigners, erect carriage, flexible figures, white and tapered hands, features more irregular but also more intellectual than those of the Belgians, grave and modest countenances, a general air of native propriety and decency. By this last circumstance alone I could at a glance distinguish the daughter of Albion and nursing of Protestantism from the foster child of Rome, the protégé of Jesuistry. Proud too was the aspect of these British girls. At once envied and ridiculed by their continental associates, they warded off insult with austere civility and met hate with mute disdain. They astute company keeping and in the midst of numbers seemed to dwell isolated. The teachers presiding over this mixed multitude were three in number, all French. Their names Mademoiselle, Zephyrine, Pelagie and Cizette. The two last were commonplace personages enough. Their look was ordinary, their manner was ordinary, their temper was ordinary, their thoughts, feelings and views were all ordinary. Where I to write a chapter on the subject I could not elucidate it further. Zephyrine was somewhat more distinguished in appearance and deportments than Pelagie and Cizette, but in character genuine Parisian cockat, perfidious, mercenary and dry-hearted. A fourth maîtresse I sometimes saw who seemed to come daily to teach needlework or netting or lace mending or some such flimsy art. But of her I never had more than a passing glimpse as she sat in the cahé with her frames and some dozen of the elder pupils about her. Consequently I had no opportunity of studying her character or even of observing her person much. The latter I remarked had a very English air for a maîtresse, otherwise it was not striking. Of character I should think she possessed but little as her pupils seemed constantly en revolt against her authority. She did not reside in the house, her name I think was Mademoiselle Henri. Amidst this assemblage of all that was insignificant and defective, much that was vicious and repulsive, by that last epithet many would have described the two or three stiff, silent, decently behaved, ill-dressed British girls. The sensible, sagacious, affable directoress shone like a steady star over a marsh full of jack-o-lanterns. Profoundly aware of her superiority she derived an inward bliss from that consciousness which sustained her under all the care and responsibility inseparable from her position. It kept her temper calm, her brow smooth, her manner tranquil. She liked, as who would not, on entering the school room to feel that her sole presence sufficed to diffuse that order and quiet which all the remonstrances and even commands of her underlings frequently failed to enforce. She liked to stand in comparison or rather contrast with those who surrounded her and to know that in personal as well as mental advantages she bore away the undisputed palm of preference. The three teachers were all plain. Her pupils she managed with such indulgence and address, taking always on herself the office of recompenser and eulogist and abandoning to her subletons every invidious task of blame and punishment that they all regarded her with deference, if not with affection. Her teachers did not love her, but they submitted because they were her inferiors in everything. The various masters who attended her school were each and all in some way or other under her influence. Over one she had acquired power by her skillful management of his bad temper, over another by little attentions to his petty caprices. A third she had subdued by flattery. A fourth, a timid man, she kept in awe by a sort of austere decision of mean. Me she still watched, still tried by the most ingenious tests. She roved round me, baffled, yet persevering. I believe she thought I was like a smooth and bare precipice which offered neither jutting stone nor tree root nor tuft of grass to aid the climber. Now she flattered with exquisite tact. Now she moralized. Now she tried how far I was accessible to mercenary motives. Then she desported on the brink of affection, knowing that some men are one by weakness. And on she talked excellent sense, aware that others have the folly to admire judgment. I found it at once pleasant and easy to evade all these efforts. It was sweet when she thought me nearly one to turn round and to smile in her very eyes, half scornfully, and then to witness her scarcely veiled, though mute, mortification. Still she persevered, and at last I'm bound to confess it. Her finger, her saying, proving every atom of the casket, touched its secret spring, and for a moment the lid sprung open. She laid her hand on the jewel within. Whether she stole and broke it, or whether the lid shut again with a snap on her fingers, read on, and you shall know. It happened that I came one day to give a lesson when I was indisposed. I had a bad cold and a cough. Two hours incessant talking left me very hoarse and tired. As I quitted the schoolroom and was passing along the corridor, I met Mademoiselle Reuter. She remarked with an anxious air, but I looked very pale and tired. Yes, I said, I was fatigued. And then, with increased interest, she rejoined, you shall not go away till you have had some refreshment. She persuaded me to step into the parlour, and was very kind and gentle while I stayed. The next day she was kinder still. She came herself into the class to see that the windows were closed and that there was no draught. She exhorted me with friendly earnestness not to overexert myself. When I went away she gave me her hand unasked, and I could not but mark by a respectful and gentle pressure that I was sensible of the favour and grateful for it. My modest demonstration kindled a little merry smile on her countenance. I thought her almost charming. During the remainder of the evening, my mind was full of impatience for the afternoon of the next day to arrive that I might see her again. I was not disappointed, for she sat in the class during the whole of my subsequent lesson and often looked at me almost with affection. At four o'clock she accompanied me out of the schoolroom, asking with solitude after my health, then scolding me sweetly because I spoke too loud and gave myself too much trouble. I stopped at the glass door which led into the garden to hear her lecture to the end. The door was open, it was a very fine day, and while I listened to the soothing reprimand, I looked at the sunshine and flowers and felt very happy. The day scholars began to pour from the schoolrooms into the passage. Will you go into the garden a minute or two, asked she, till they are gone. I descended the steps without answering, but I looked back as much as to say, you will come with me. In another minute I and the directors were walking side by side down the alley bordered with fruit trees, whose white blossoms were then in full blow as well as their tender green leaves. The sky was blue, the air still, the may afternoon was full of brightness and fragrance, released from the stifling class surrounded with flowers and foliage with a pleasing, smiling, affable woman at my side. How did I feel? Why, very enviably. It seemed as if the romantic visions my imagination had suggested of this garden while it was yet hidden from me by the jealous boards, were more than realised. And when a turn in the alley shut out the view of the house and some tall shrubs excluded Monsieur Pele's mansion and screened us momentarily from the other houses rising amphitheater-like round this green spot, I gave my arm to mademoiselle Reuter and led her to a garden chair nestled under some lilacs near. She sat down, I took my place at her side. She went on talking to me without ease which communicates ease and as I listened a revelation dawned in my mind that I was on the brink of falling in love. The dinner-bell rang both at her house and Monsieur Pele's. We were obliged to part. I detained her a moment as she was moving away. I want something, said I. What! asked Zahid naively. Only a flower. Gather it, then, or two or twenty, if you like. No, one will do. But you must gather it and give it to me. What a caprice! she exclaimed, but she raised herself on her tiptoes and plucking a beautiful branch of lilac offered it to me with grace. I took it and went away, satisfied for the present and hopeful for the future. Certainly that May Day was a lovely one and it closed in a moonlight night of summer warmth and serenity. I remember this well for having sat up late that evening correcting devoir and feeling weary and a little oppressed with the closeness of my small room. I opened the often-mentioned boarded window, whose boards, however, I had persuaded old Madame Pele to have removed since I had filled the poster professor in the Pensionade de Moiselle. As from that time it was no longer inconvenient for me to overlook my own pupils at their sports. I sat down in the window seat, rested my arm on the sill and leaned out. Above me was the clear obscure of a cloudless night sky. Splendid moonlight subdued the tremulous sparkle of the stars. Below lay the garden, varied with silvery luster and deep shade and all fresh with dew. A grateful perfume exhaled from the closed blossoms of the fruit trees. Not a leaf stirred, the night was breezeless. My window looked directly down upon a certain walk of Madame Moiselle-Royter's garden, called L'Allée Défendue. So named because the pupils were forbidden to enter it on account of its proximity to the boys' school. It was here that the lilacs and lebernums grew especially thick. This was the most sheltered nook in the enclosure. Its shrubs screened the garden chair where that afternoon I had sat with the young directoris. I need not say that my thoughts were chiefly with her as I leaned from the lattice and let my eye roam, now over the walks and borders of the garden, now along the many windowed front of the house, which rose white beyond the masses of foliage. I wondered in what part of the building was situated her apartment, and a single light shining through the persienne of one quasi seemed to direct me to it. She watches late, thought I, for it must be now near midnight. She is a fascinating little woman, I continued in voiceless soliloquy. Her image forms a pleasant picture in memory. I know she is not what the world calls pretty, no matter, there is harmony in her aspect, and I like it. Her brown hair, her blue eye, the freshness of her cheek, the whiteness of her neck all suit my taste. Then I respect her talent. The idea of marrying a doll or a fool was always abhorrent to me. I know that a pretty doll, a fair fool, might do well enough for the honeymoon, but when passion cooled, how dreadful to find a lump of wax and wood laid in my bosom, a half-idiot clasped in my arms, I remember that I had made of this my equal, nay, my idol, to know that I must pass the rest of my dreary life with a creature incapable of understanding what I said, of appreciating what I thought, or of sympathizing with what I felt. Now, Zochayide Reuter, thought I, has tact, character, judgment, discretion, has she heart. What a good simple little smile played about her lips when she gave me the branch of lilacs. I have thought a crafty, dissembling, interested sometimes it is true, but may not much that looks like cunning and dissimulation in her conduct, be only the efforts made by a bland temper to traverse quietly perplexing difficulties. And as to interest, she wishes to make her way in the world, no doubt, and who can blame her? Even if she be truly deficient in sound principle, is it not rather her misfortune than her fault? She has been brought up a Catholic. Had she been born an English woman and reared a Protestant, might she not have added straight integrity to all her other excellences? Supposing she were to marry an English and Protestant husband, would she not, rational, sensible as she is, quickly acknowledge the superiority of right over expediency, honesty over policy? It would be worth a man's while to try the experiment. Tomorrow I will renew my observations. She knows that I watch her. How calm she is under scrutiny. It seems rather to gratify than annoy her. Here a strain of music stolen upon my monologue and suspended it. It was a bugle very skillfully played in the neighbourhood of the park, I thought, or on the plasquale. So sweet were the tones, so subduing their effect at that hour in the midst of silence and under the quiet rain of moonlight, I ceased to think that I might listen more intently. The strain retreated. Its sound waxed fainter and was soon gone. My ear prepared to repose on the absolute hush of midnight once more. No! What murmur was that, which low and yet near and approaching nearer frustrated the expectation of total silence? It was someone conversing. Yes, evidently, an audible though subdued voice spoke in the garden immediately below me. Another answered. The first voice was that of a man, the second that of a woman, and a man and a woman I saw moving slowly down the alley. Their forms were at first in shade. I could but discern a dusk outline of each. But a ray of moonlight met them at the termination of the walk, when they were under my very nose and revealed very plainly, very unequivocally, Mademoiselle Zahid Reuter, arm in arm or hand in hand, I forget which, with my principal confidant and counsellor, Monsieur François Pelé. And Monsieur Pelé was saying, À quand donc le jour des nos m'a bien aimé? And Mademoiselle Reuter answered, Mais François, tu sais bien qu'il me serait impossible de me marier avant les vacances. June, July, August, a whole quarter, exclaimed the director. How can I wait so long? I, who am ready even now to expire at your feet with impatience. Ah, if you die, the whole affair will be settled without any trouble about notaries and contracts. I shall only have to order a slight morning dress, which will be much sooner prepared than the nuptial trousseau. Cruel, Zahid! You laugh at the distress of one who loves you so devotedly as I do. My torment is your sport. You scruple not to stretch my soul on the rack of jealousy. For deny it, as you will, I am certain you have cast encouraging glances on that schoolboy, Krimsvott. He has presumed to fall in love, which he dared not have done unless you had given him room to hope. What do you say, François? Do you say Krimsvott is in love with me? Overhead and ears. Has he told you so? No, but I see it in his face. He blushes whenever your name is mentioned. A little laugh of exulting cocketry announced Mademoiselle Reuter's gratification at this piece of intelligence, which was a lie, by the by. I had never been so far gone as that, after all. Monsieur Poulais proceeded to ask what she intended to do with me, intimating pretty plainly and not very gallantly, but it was nonsense for her to think of making such a blonde beck as her husband, since she must be at least ten years older than I. Was she then thirty-two? I should not have thought it. The director, however, still pressed her to give a definite answer. François, said she, you are jealous! And still she laughed. Then, as if suddenly recollecting that this cocketry was not consistent with the character for modest dignity she wished to establish, she proceeded in a demure voice. Truly, my dear François, I will not deny that this young Englishman may have made some attempts to ingratiate himself with me. But so far from giving him any encouragement I have always treated him with as much reserve as it was possible to combine with civility. Affianced as I am to you, I would give no man false hopes. Believe me, dear friend. Still, Poulet uttered murmurs of distrust. So I judged at least from her reply. What folly! How could I prefer an unknown foreigner to you? And then, not to flatter your vanity, François could not bear comparison with you either physically or mentally. He is not a handsome man at all. Some may call him gentlemen-like and intelligent-looking, but for my part. The rest of the sentence was lost in the distance as the pair rising from the chair in which they had been seated moved away. I waited their return, but soon the opening and shutting of a door informed me that they had re-entered the house. I listened a little longer. All was perfectly still. I listened more than an hour. At last I heard Monsieur Poulet come in and descend to his chamber. Gancing once more towards the long front of the garden-house, I perceived that its solitary light was at length extinguished. So for a time was my faith in love and friendship. I went to bed, but something feverish and fiery had got into my veins, which prevented me from sleeping much that night. End of Chapter 12 Chapter 13 of The Professor This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Professor by Charlotte Bronte Chapter 13 Next morning I rose with the dawn and having dressed myself I waited half an hour, my elbow leaning on the chest of drawers, considering what means I should adopt to restore my spirits, faked with sleeplessness to their ordinary tone. For I had no intention of getting up a scene with End Poulet, reproaching him with perfidy, sending him a challenge, or performing other gambetos of the sort. I hit a clasp on the expedient of walking out in the cool of the morning to a neighbouring establishment of buds and treating myself to a brazing plunge. I came back at seven o'clock, steadied and invigorated, and was able to greet End Poulet when he entered to breakfast with an unchanged and tranquil countenance. Even a cordial offering of the hand and the flattering appellation of Mophis, pronounced in that caressing tone with which Muzia had, of late days especially, been accustomed to address me, did not elicit any external sign of the feeling which, though subdued, still glowed at my heart. No, but the sense of insult and treachery lived in me like a kindling, though as he had smothered coal. God knows I'm not by nature vindictive. I would not hurt a man because I can no longer trust or like him, but neither my reason nor feelings or of the vacillating order. They are not of that sound-like sort where impressions are soon made or as soon effaced. Once convinced that my friend's disposition is incompatible with my own, but that he is indelibly stained with certain defects obnoxious to my principles and I dissolve the connection, I did so with Edward. As to Pilate, the discovery was yet new. Should I act thus with him? It was a question I placed before my mind as I stirred my cup of coffee with a half-pistolet. We never had spoons. Pilate, meantime being seated opposite, his palette-phase looking as knowing and more haggard than usual, his blue eye turned, sternly on his boys and azures and now graciously on me. Circumstances must guide me, said I, and meeting Pilate's false glance and intimidating smile. I thanked heaven that I had last night opened my window and read by the light of a full moon the true meaning of that guileful countenance. I felt half his master because the reality of his nature was now known to me. Smile and flatter as he would, I heard in every one of his smooth phrases a voice interpreting their treacherous import. With sorrows, Reuter, of course a defection had cut me to the quick, that stint must have gone too deep for any consolations of philosophy to be available and curing it smart. Not at all. The night fever over, I looked about for balm to that wound also and found some nearer home than at Gilead. Reason was my physician. She began by proving that the price I had missed was of little value. She admitted that, physically, Zorat might have suited me, but affirmed that our souls were not in harmony and the discord must have resulted from the union of her mind with mine. She then insisted on suppression of all repining and commanded me rather to rejoice that I had escaped a snare. Her medicament did me good. I felt its strengthening effect when I met the directorist the next day. The patient's operation on the nerve suffered no trembling, no faltering. It enabled me to phase her with firmness to pass her with ease. She had held out her hand to me that I did not choose to see. She had greeted me with a charming smile. It fell on my heart like light on stone. I passed on to the Estraad. She followed me. Her eye fastened on my face, demanded of every feature the meaning of my changed and careless mana. I will give her an answer, and, meeting her gaze full, arresting, fixing her glance, I shot into her eyes from my own, a look where there was no respect, no love, no tenderness, no gallantry, where the strictest analysis could detect nothing but scorn, hardy-hood, irony. I made her bear it and feel it. Her steady countenance did not change, but her colour rose and she approached me as if fascinated. She stepped on to the Estraad and stood close by my side. She had nothing to say. I would not relieve her embarrassment and negligently turned over the leaves of a book. I hope you feel quite recovered today, at last she said, in a low tone. And I, Mademoiselle, hope that you took no colds last night in consequence of your late walk in the garden. Quick enough of comprehension she understood me directly. Her face became a little blanched. A very little, but no muzzle in her rather marked features moved. And, calm and self-possessed, she retired from the Estraad, taking her seat quietly at a little distance and occupying herself with netting a purse. I proceeded to give my lesson. It was a composition. That is, I dictated certain general questions of which the pupils were to compose the answers from memory, access to books being forbidden. Mademoiselle Yulali, Caroline, etc., were pondering over the string of rather obstruous grammatical interrogatories I had propounded. I was at liberty to employ the vacant half-hour in further observing the directoress herself. The green silk purse was progressing fast in our hands. Her eyes were bent upon it. Her attitude, as she sat netting within two yards of me, was still yet guarded. In her whole person were expressed at once and with equal clearness, vigilance and repose. A rare union. Looking at her, I was forced, as I had often been before, to offer her good sense, her wondrous self-control, the tribute of involuntary admiration. She had felt that I had withdrawn from her my esteem. She had seen contempt and coldness in my eye and to her, who coveted the approbation of all around her, who thirsted after universal good opinion, such discovery must have been an acute wound. I had witnessed its effect in the momentary pallor of her cheek-cheek unused to vary. Yet how quickly, by dint of self-control, had she recovered her composure, with what quiet dignity she now sat, almost at my side, sustained by her sound and vigorous sense. No trembling in her somewhat lengthened, though she drewed up a lip, no coward-chame on her austere forehead. There is metal there, I said, as I gazed. With that there were fire also, living order to make the steel glow, then I could love her. Presently I discovered that she knew I was watching her, for she stirred not, she lifted not her crafty eyelid. She had glanced down from her netting to her small foot, peeping from the soft folds of her purple marina gown. Then her eye reverted to her hand, ivory white with a bright garnet ring on the forefinger and a light frill of lace round the wrist. With a scarcely perceptible movement she turned her head, causing her nut-brown curls to wave gracefully. In these slight signs I read that the wish of her heart, the design of her brain, was to lure back the game she had scared. A little incident gave her the opportunity of addressing me again. While all was silence in the class, silence, but for the rustling of copy books and the travelling of pens over their pages, a leaf of the large folding door opening from the hall, admitting a pupil who, after making a hasty obeisance, ensconced herself with some appearance of trepidation, probably occasioned by her entering so late in a vacant seat at the desk nearest the door. Being seated, she proceeded, still with an air of hurry and embarrassment to open her caba to take out her books and while I was waiting for her to look up in order to make out her identity for, short-sighted as I was, I had not recognised her at her entrance with Moysel Reiter leaving her chair approached the astrath. Moysel Cremesfort said she in a whisper for when the school rooms were silent the director is always moved with velvet tread and spoke in the most subdued key enforcing order and stillness fully as much by example as precipit. Moysel Cremesfort, that young person who has just entered wishes to have the advantage of taking lessons with you in English. She is not a pupil of the house she is indeed in one sense a teacher for she gives instruction in lay-smending and in little varieties of ornamental needlework. She very properly proposes to qualify herself for a higher department of education and has asked permission to attend your lessons in order to perfect her knowledge of English in which language she has, I believe already made some progress. Of course it is my wish to aid her in an effort so praiseworthy and to benefit by instruction. Nespa Amazia and with Moysel Reuteris eyes were raised to mine with a look at one's naive, benign and beseeching. I replied, of course very laconically almost abruptly another word she said with softness when Moysel Henry has not received a regular education perhaps her natural talents are not at the highest order but I can assure you of the excellence of her intentions and of the amiability of her disposition. Mazia will then I'm sure have the goodness to be considerate with her at first and not expose her backwardness or inevitable deficiencies before the young ladies who in a sense are her pupils Will Mazia Creamsport favour me by attending to this hint? I nodded. She continued with subdued earnestness. Pardon me Mazia, if I venture to add that what I have just said is true. She already experiences great difficulty in impressing these giddy young things with a due degree of deference for her authority and should the difficulty be increased by new discoveries of her incapacity she might find her position in my establishment too painful to be retained the circumstance I should much regret for her sake as she can ill-offer to lose the profits of her occupation here. As Moysel Reuter possessed marvellous tact but tact the most exclusive sincerity will sometimes fail of its effect. Thus on this occasion the longer she preached about the necessity of being indulgent to the governess pupil the more impatient I felt as I listened. I discerned so clearly that while her professed motive was a wish to aid the dull though well meaning that Moysel Henry her real one was no other than a design to impress me with an idea of her own exalted goodness and tender considerateness. So having again hisly nodded marks I obviated their renewal by suddenly demanding the compositions in a sharp accent and stepping from the astra I proceeded to collect them. As I passed the governess pupil I said to her you have come in too late to receive a lesson today try to be more punctual next time. I was behind her and could not read in her face the effect of my not very civil speech probably I should not have troubled myself to do so had I been fool in front but I observed that she immediately began to slip her books into her caba again and presently after I had returned to the astra while I was arranging the mass of compositions I heard the folding door again open and close and on looking up I perceived her place vacant I thought to myself she will consider her first attempt at taking a lesson in English something of a failure and I wondered whether she had departed in the sulks or whether stupidity had induced her to take the word too literally or finally whether my irritable tone had wounded her feelings the last notion I dismissed almost as soon as I had conceived it for not having seen any appearance of sensitiveness in any human face since my arrival in Belgium I had begun to regard it almost as a fabulous quality whether her physiognomy announced it I could not tell for her speedy exit had allowed me no time to assert in the circumstance I had indeed on two or three previous occasions caught a passing view of her as I believe has been mentioned before but I had never stopped to scrutinise either her face or person and had but the most vague idea of her general appearance just as I had finished rolling up the compositions the four o'clock bell rang with my accustomed alertness in obeying that signal I grasped my hat and evacuated the premises end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of the professor this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org the professor Bachelot Bronte chapter 14 if I was punctual in quitting Mademoiselle Reuters domicile I was at least equally punctual in arriving there I came the next day at five minutes before two and on reaching the long door before I opened it I heard a rapid gabbling sound which warned me that the pre-air du midi was not yet concluded I waited the termination thereof it would have been impious to intrude my heretical presence during its progress how the repeater of the prayer did cackle and splutter I never before or since heard language announced with such steam engine haste not repair key ets OCL went off like a shot then followed to Marie, Vierge, Celeste brined the anorges, Maison door to Divoire and then an invocation to the saint of the day and then down they all sat and the solemn right was over and I entered flinging the door wide and striding in fast as it was my want to do now for I had found that in entering with a plomb and mounting the Estrade with emphasis consisted the grand secret of ensuring immediate silence the folding doors between the two classes opened for the prayer were instantly closed a mattress, work box in hand took her seat by her appropriate desk the pupils sat still with their pens and books before them my three beauties in the van now well humbled by a demeanor of consistent coolness sat erect with their hands folded quietly on their knees they had given up giggling and whispering to each other and no longer ventured to utter bird speeches in my presence they now only talked to me occasionally with their eyes by means of which organs they could still however say very audacious and coquettish things had affection goodness modesty real talent ever employed those bright orbs as interpreters I do not think I could have refrained from giving a kind and encouraging perhaps an ardent reply now and then but as it was I found pleasure in answering the glance of vanity with the gaze of stoicism youthful fair brilliant as were many of my pupils I can truly say that in me they never saw any other bearing than such as an austere though just guardian might have observed towards them if any doubt the accuracy of this assertion as inferring more consensious self-denial or CPO like self-control than they feel disposed to give me credit for let them take into consideration the following circumstances which while detracting from my merit justify my veracity no oh incredulous reader that a master stands in a somewhat different relation towards a pretty light-headed probably ignorant girl to that occupied by a partner at a ball or a gallant on the promenade a professor does not meet his pupil to see her dressed in satin and muslin with hair perfumed and curled next carcely shaded by aerial lace round white arms circled with bracelets feet dressed for the gliding dance it is not his business to whirl her through the walls to feed her with compliments to heighten her beauty by the flush of gratified vanity neither does he encounter her on the smooths rolled tree-shaded boulevard in the green and sunny park with her she repairs clad in her becoming walking dress her scarf thrown with greys over her shoulders her little bonnets carcely screening her curls the red rose under its brim adding a new tint to the softer rose on her cheek her face and eyes too her smiles perhaps as transient as the sunshine of the gala day but also quite as brilliant it is not his office to walk by her side to listen to her lively chat to carry her parasol carcely larger than a broad green leaf to lead in a ribbon her Blenheim spaniel or Italian greyhound no he finds her in the school room plainly dressed with books before her owing to her education or her nature books are to her a nuisance and she opens them with a version yet her teacher must instill into her mind the contents of these books that mind dresses the admission of grave information it recoils it grows restive sullen tempers are shown disfiguring frowns spoil the symmetry of the face sometimes coarse gestures vanish greys from the deportment while muttered expressions redolent of native and ineradicable vulgarity desecrate the sweetness of the voice where the temperament is serene though the intellect be sluggish an unconquerable dullness opposes every effort to instruct where there is cunning but not energy the simulation falsehood a thousand schemes and tricks are put in play to evade the necessity of application in short to the tutor female youth female charms alec tapestry hangings of which the wrong side is continually turned towards him and even when he sees the smooth neat external surface he so well knows what nots long stitches and jagged ends are behind that he has cars a temptation to admire too fondly the seemly forms and bright colors exposed to gentle view our likings are regulated by our circumstances the artist prefers a hilly country because it is picturesque the engineer a flat one because it is convenient the man of pleasure likes what he calls a fine woman she suits him the fashionable young gentleman admires the fashionable young lady she is of his kind the toil worn, fagged probably irritable tutor blind almost to beauty insensible to heirs and graces glories chiefly in certain mental qualities application love of knowledge natural capacity docility truthfulness gratefulness are the charms that attract his notice and win his regard these he seeks but seldom meets these if by chance he finds he would faint retain forever and when separation deprives him of them he feels as if some ruthless hand that snatched from him is only you lamp such being the case and the case it is my readers will agree with me that there was nothing either very meritorious or very marvelous in the integrity and moderation of my conduct at MacMoisel Reuters points you now dead demoisalist my first business this afternoon consisted in reading the list of places for the month determined by the relative correctness of the compositions given the preceding day the list was headed as usual by the name of Sylvie that plain quiet little girl I have described before as being at once the best and ugliest pupil in the establishment the second place had fallen to the lot of a certain Leonie ledrew a diminutive sharp featured and parchment skin creature of quick wits frail conscience and in durated feelings a loyal like thing of whom I used to say that had she been a boy she would have made a model of an principled clever attorney then came you Lali the proud beauty the Juno of the school whom six long years of drilling in the simple grammar of the English language had compelled despite the stiff phlegm of her intellect to acquire a mechanical acquaintance with most of its rules no smile no trace of pleasure or satisfaction appeared in Sylvie's non-like and positive face as she heard her name read first I always felt saddened by the sight of that poor girl's absolute quiescence on all occasions and it was my custom to look at her to address her as seldom as possible her extreme docility her aciduous perseverance would have recommended her warmly to my good opinion her modesty, her intelligence would have induced me to feel most kindly most affectionately towards her notwithstanding the almost ghastly plainness of her features the disproportion of her form the corpse-like lack of animation in her countenance had I not been aware that every friendly word every kindly action would be reported by her to her confessor and by him misinterpreted and poisoned once I laid my hand on her head in token of approbation I thought Sylvie was going to smile her dim eye almost kindled but presently she shrunk from me I was a man and a heretic she poor child a destined nun and devoted Catholic thus a four-fold wall of separation divided her mind from mine a pert smirk and a hard glance of triumph was Leonie's method of testifying her gratification Yulali looked sullen and envious she had hoped to be first Hortense and Caroline exchanged a reckless grimace on hearing their names read out somewhere near the bottom of the list the brand of mental inferiority was considered by them as no disgrace their hopes for the future being based solely on their personal attractions this affair arranged the regular lesson followed during a brief interval employed by the pupils and ruling their books my eye, ranging carelessly over the benches observed for the first time that the father's seat in the farthest row a seat usually vacant was again filled by the new scholar the metmoisel Henry so ostentatiously recommended to me by the directoress today I had on my spectacles her appearance therefore seemed to me at the first glance I had not to puzzle over it she looked young yet had I been required to name her exact age I should have been somewhat non-plussed the slightness of her figure might have suited 17 a certain anxious and preoccupied expression of face seemed the indication of riperious she was dressed like all the rest in a dark stuffed gown and a white collar her features were dissimilar to any there not surrounded, more defined and vastly regular the shape of her head too was different the superior part more developed the base considerably less I felt assured at first sight that she was not a Belgian her complexion, her countenance her lenience, her figure were all distinct from theirs and evidently the type of another race of a race less gifted with fullness of flesh and plenitude of blood less jokent, material, unthinking when I first cast my eyes on her she sat looking fixedly down her chin resting on her hand and she did not change her attitude to like commence the lesson none of the Belgian girls would have retained one position and that a reflective one for the same length of time yet having intimated that her appearance was peculiar as being unlike that of her flamish companions I have little more to say respecting it I can pronounce her in commune on her beauty for she was not beautiful nor of her condolence on her plainness for neither was she plain a care-worn character of forehead and a corresponding moulding of the mouth struck me with a sentiment resembling her price but these traits would probably have passed unnoticed by any less crotchety observer now, reader though I have spent more than a page in describing Metmoycelle Henry I know well enough that I have left on your mind's eye no distinct picture of her I have not painted her complexion nor her eyes nor her hair nor even drawn the outline of her shape you cannot tell whether her nose was acteline or retros whether her chin was long or short her face square or oval nor could I the first day and it is not my intention to communicate to you at once a knowledge I myself gained by little and little I gave a short exercise which they all wrote down I saw the new pupil was puzzled at first with the novelty of the form and language once or twice she looked at me with a sort of painful solicitude as not comprehending at all what I meant then she was not ready when the others were she could not write her phrases so fast as they did I would not help her I went on relentless she looked at me her eyes said most plainly I cannot follow you I disregarded the appeal and carelessly leaning back in my chair glancing from time to time with a nonchalant air out of the window I dictated a little faster on looking towards her again I perceived her face clouded with embarrassment but she was still writing on most diligently I paused a few seconds she employed the interval in hurriedly re-perusing what she had written and shame and discomfiture were apparent in her countenance she evidently found she had made great nonsense of it in ten minutes more the dictation was complete and having allowed a brief space in which to correct it I took their books it was with a reluctant hand but having once yielded it to my possession she composed around her face as if for the present she had resolved this misregret and had made up her mind to be thought unprecedentedly stupid glancing over her exercise I found that several lines had been omitted but what was written contained very few faults I instantly inscribed Bonn at the bottom of the page and returned it to her she smiled at first incredulously then as if reassured but did not lift her eyes she seemed when perplexed and bewildered but not when gratified I thought that scarcely fair End of Chapter 14 Chapter 15 of The Professor This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Giesen The Professor by Charlotte Bronte Chapter 15 Some time elapsed before I again gave a lesson in the first class The holiday of Witzentide occupied three days and on the fourth it was the turn of the second division to receive my instructions As I made the transit of the carré I observed as usual the band of sewers surrounding Mademoiselle Henry There were only about a dozen of them made as much noise as might have sufficed for fifty They seemed very little under her control three or four at once assailed her with importunate requirements She looked harassed She demanded silence but in vain She saw me and I read in her eye pain that a stranger should witness the insubordination of her pupils She seemed to entreat order, her prayers were useless Then I remarked that she compressed her lips and contracted her brow and her countenance, if I read it correctly said, I have done my best I seem to merit blame notwithstanding Blame me then, who will? I passed on As I closed the schoolroom door I heard her say, suddenly and sharply addressing one of the eldest and most turbulent of the lot I may leave Mullenberg ask me no question and request of me no assistance for a week to come during that space of time I will neither speak to you nor help you The words were uttered with emphasis, nay with vehemence and a comparative silence followed whether the calm was permanent I know not Two doors now closed between me and the carer Next day was appropriated in the first class On my arrival I found the directoress seated as usual in a chair between the two estrade and before her was standing Mademoiselle Henri in an attitude that it seemed to me of somewhat reluctant attention The directoress was knitting and talking at the same time amidst the hum of a large schoolroom it was easy so to speak in the ear of one person as to be heard by that person and it was thus Mademoiselle Reuter parleyed with her teacher the face of the latter was a little flushed, not a little troubled there was vexation in it quence resulting I know not for the directoress looked very placid indeed she could not be scolding in such gentle whispers and with so equitable amine No, it was presently proved that her discourse had been of the most friendly tendency for I heard the closing words c'est assez ma bonne amie à présent je ne veux pas vous retenir davantage Without your ply Mademoiselle Henri turned away dissatisfaction was plainly evinced in her face and a smile slight and brief but bitter distrustful and I thought scornful curled her lip as she took her place in the class it was a secret involuntary smile which lasted but a second an air of depression succeeded chased away presently by one of attention and interest when I gave the word for all the pupils to take their reading books in general I hated the reading lesson it was such a torture to the ear to listen to their uncouths mouthing of my native tongue and no effort of example or precept on my part ever seemed to effect the slightest improvement in their accent today each in her appropriate key lisped, stuttered mumbled and jabbered as usual about 15 had racked me in turn and my auricular nerve was expecting with resignation the discords of the 16th when a full though low voice read out in clear correct English on his way to Perth the king was met by a Highland woman calling herself a prophetess she stood at the side of the ferry by which she was about to travel to the north and cried with a loud voice my lord the king if you pass this water you will never return again alive Vidae the history of Scotland I looked up in amazement the voice was a voice of Albion the accent was pure and silvery it only wanted firmness and assurance to be the counterpart of what any well educated lady in Essex or Middlesex might have announced yet the speaker or reader was no other than mademoiselle Henri in whose grave joyless face I saw no mark of consciousness that she had performed any extraordinary feat no one else evinced surprise either mademoiselle Reuter knitted away assiduously I was aware however of the conclusion of the paragraph she had lifted her eyelid and honoured me with a glance sideways she did not know the full excellency of the teacher's style of reading but she perceived that her accent was not that of the others and wanted to discover what I thought I masked my visage with indifference and ordered the next girl to proceed when the lesson was over I took advantage of the confusion caused by breaking up to approach mademoiselle Henri she was standing near the window and retired as I advanced she thought I wanted to look out and did not imagine that I could have anything to say to her I took her exercise book out of her hand as I turned over the leaves I addressed her you have had lessons in English before I asked no sir no you read it well you have been in England oh no with some animation you have been in English families still the answer was no here my eye resting on the fly leaf of the book saw written Francis Evan Henri your name I asked yes sir my interrogations were cut short I heard a little rustling behind me and closer to my back was the directoris professing to be examining the interior of a desk mademoiselle said she looking up and addressing the teacher will you have the goodness to go and stand in the corridor while the young ladies are putting on their things and try to keep some order mademoiselle Henri obeyed what splendid weather observed the directoris cheerfully glancing at the same time from the window I assented and was withdrawing what of your new pupil monsieur continued she following my retreating steps is she likely to make progress in English indeed I can hardly judge she possesses a pretty good accent of her real knowledge of the language I have as yet had no opportunity of forming an opinion and her natural capacity monsieur I've had my fears about that can you relieve me by an assurance at least of its average power I see no reason to doubt its average power mademoiselle but really I scarcely know her and have not had time to study the calibre of her capacity I wish you a very good afternoon she still pursued me you will observe monsieur and tell me what you think I could so much better rely on your opinion than on my own women cannot judge of these things as men can and excuse my pertinacity monsieur but it is natural I should feel interested about this poor little girl poor little girl she has scarcely any relations her own efforts are all she has to look to her requirements must be her soul fortune her present position has once been mine or nearly so it is then but natural I should sympathise with her and sometimes when I see the difficulty she has in managing pupils I feel quite chagrined I doubt not she does her best her intentions are excellent but monsieur she wants tact and firmness I have talked to her on the subject but I am not fluent and probably did not express myself with clearness she never appears to comprehend me now would you occasionally when you see an opportunity slip in a word of advice to her on the subject men have so much more influence than women have they argue so much more logically than we do and you monsieur in particular you have so paramount a power of making yourself obeyed a word of advice from you could not but do her good even if she was sullen and headstrong which I hope she is not she would scarcely refuse to listen to you for my own part I can truly say that I never attend one of your lessons without deriving benefit from witnessing your management of the pupils the other masters are a constant source of anxiety to me I can impress the young ladies with sentiments of respect nor restrain the levity natural to youth in you monsieur I feel the most absolute confidence try then to put this poor child in the way of controlling our giddy high spirited brabanteurs but monsieur I would add one word more don't alarm her amour propre beware of inflicting a wound there I reluctantly admit that in that particular she is blameably some would say ridiculously susceptible I fear I have touched this sore point inadvertently and she cannot get over it during the greater part of this harangue my hand was on the lock of the outer door I now turned it oh wow mademoiselle said I and I escaped I saw the director's stock of words was yet far from exhausted she looked after me she would feign have detained me longer her manner towards me had been altered ever since I had begun to treat her with harshness and indifference she almost cringed to me on every occasion she consulted my countenance incessantly and beset me with innumerable little officious attentions civility creates despotism this slavish homage instead of softening my heart only pampered whatever was stern and exacting in its mood the very circumstance of her hovering round me like a fascinated bird seemed to transform me into a rigid pillar of stone her flatteries irritated my scorn her blandishments confirmed my reserve at times I wondered what she meant by giving herself such trouble to win me when the more profitable lady in her nets and when too she was aware that I possessed her secret for I had not scrupled to tell her as much but the fact is that as it was her nature to doubt the reality and undervalue the worth of modesty affection disinterestedness to regard these qualities as foibles of character so it was equally her tendency to consider pride hardness selfishness proofs of strength she would trample on the neck of humility she would kneel at the feet of disdain she would meet tenderness with secret contempt in difference she would with ceaseless aciduities benevolence devotedness enthusiasm were her antipathies for dissimulation and self-interest she had a preference they were real wisdom in her eyes moral and physical degradation mental and bodily inferiority she regarded with indulgence they were foils capable of being turned to good account as set-offs for her own endowments to violence injustice tyranny she succumbed they were her natural masters she had no propensity to hate no impulse to resist them the indignation their behests awaken some hearts was unknown in hers from all this it resulted that the false and selfish caught her wise the vulgar and debased termed her charitable the insolent and unjust dubbed her amiable the conscientious and benevolent generally at first accepted as valid her claim to be considered one of themselves but ere long the plating of pretension wore off the material appeared below and they laid her aside as a deception end of chapter 15 recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey chapter 16 of the professor this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Martin Giesen the professor by Charlotte Bronte chapter 16 in the course of another fortnight I had seen sufficient of Francis Evans-Enri to enable me to form a more definite opinion of her character I found her possessed in a somewhat remarkable degree of at least two good points this perseverance and a sense of duty I found she was really capable of applying to study of contending with difficulties at first I offered her the same help which I had always found it necessary to confer on the others I began with unloosing for her each knotty point but I soon discovered that such help was regarded by my new pupil as degrading she recoiled from it with a certain proud impatience hereupon I appointed her long lessons and left her to solve alone any perplexities they might present she set to the task with serious ardour and having quickly accomplished one labour eagerly demanded more so much for her perseverance as to her sense of duty it evinced itself thus she liked to learn but hated to teach her progress as a pupil depended upon herself and I saw that on herself she could calculate with certainty a success as a teacher rested partly perhaps chiefly upon the will of others it cost her a most painful effort to enter into conflict with this foreign will to endeavour to bend it into subjection to her own for in what regarded people in general the action of her will was impeded by many scruples it was as unembarrassed as strong where her own affairs were concerned and to it she could at any time subject her inclination if that inclination went counter to her convictions of right yet when called upon to wrestle with the propensities, the habits the faults of others of children especially who were deaf to reason and for the most part incensed to persuasion her will sometimes almost refused to act then came in the sense of duty and forced the reluctant will into operation a wasteful expense of energy and labour was frequently the consequence Francis toiled for and with her pupils like a drudge but it was long ere her conscientious exertions were rewarded by anything like a docility on their part because they saw that they had power over her in as much as by resisting her painful attempts to convince persuade control by forcing her to the employment of coercive measures they could inflict upon her exquisite suffering human beings, human children especially seldom deny themselves the pleasure of exercising a power which they are conscious of possessing even though that power consist only in a capacity to make others wretched a pupil whose sensations are duller than those of his instructor while his nerves are tougher and his bodily strength perhaps greater has an immense advantage over that instructor and he will generally use it relentlessly because the very young, very healthy very thoughtless know neither how to sympathise nor how to spare Francis I fear suffered much a continual weight seemed to oppress her spirits I have said she did not live in the house and whether in her own abode, wherever that might be she wore the same preoccupied unsmiling, sorrowfully resolved air that always shaded her features under the roof of Mademoiselle Reuter I could not tell one day I gave as a devoir the trite little anecdote of Alfred tending cakes in the herdsman's hut with amplifications a singular affair most of the pupils made of it brevity was what they had chiefly studied, the majority of the narratives were perfectly unintelligible those of Sylvie and Leonie Le Treux alone pretended to anything like sense and connection Eulalie indeed had hit upon a clever expedient for at once ensuring accuracy and saving trouble, she had obtained access somehow to an abridged history of England and had copied the anecdote out fair I wrote on the margin of her production, stupid and deceitful, and then tore it down the middle last in the pile of single-leaved devoir I found one of several sheets neatly written out and stitched together I knew the hand and scarcely needed the evidence of the signature Francis Henri to confirm my conjecture as to the writer's identity Knight was my usual time for correcting devoir and my own room the usual scene of such task task most onerous hitherto and it seemed strange to me to feel rising within me an incipient sense of interest as I snuffed out the candle and addressed myself to the perusal of the poor teacher's manuscript now thought I I shall see a glimpse of what she really is I shall get an idea of the nature and extent of her powers not that she can be expected to express herself well in a foreign tongue but still if she has any mind here will be a reflection of it the narrative commenced by a description of a Saxon peasant's hut situated within the confines of a great leafless winter forest it represented an evening in December flakes of snow were falling and the herdsmen foretold a heavy storm he summoned his wife to aid him in collecting their flock roaming far away on the pastoral banks of the Thone he warns her that it will be late ere they return the good woman is reluctant to quit her occupation of baking cakes for the evening meal but acknowledging the primary importance of securing the herds box she puts on her sheepskin mantle and addressing a stranger who rests half reclined on a bed of rushes near the half bids him mind the bread till her return take care young man she continues that you fasten the door well after us and above all open to none in our absence whatever sound you hear stir not and look not out the night will soon fall this forest is most wild and lonely strange noises are often heard there in after sunset wolves haunt these glades and Danish warriors infest the country worse things are talked of you might chance to hear as it were a child cry and on opening the door to afford its sucker a greet black bull or a shadowy goblin dog might rush over the threshold or more awful still something flapped as with wings against the lattice and then a raven or a white dove flew in and settled on the half such a visitor would be a sure sign of misfortune to the house therefore heed my advice and lift the latchet for nothing her husband calls her away both depart the stranger left alone listens a while to the muffled snow wind the remote swollen sound of the river it is Christmas Eve says he I mark the date here I sit alone on a rude couch of rushes sheltered by the thatch of a herdsman's hut I whose inheritance was a kingdom owe my night's harbourage to a poor surf my throne is usurped my crown presses the brow of an invader I have no friends my troops wander broken I have no friends reckless robbers spoil my country my subjects lie prostrate their breasts crushed by the heel of the brutal dain fate thou hast done thy worst and now thou standest before me resting thy hand on thy blunted blade I I see thine eye confront mine and demand why I still live why I still hope pagan demon I credit not thine omnipotence and so cannot succumb to thy power my god whose son as on this night took on him the form of a man and for man vouchsafed to suffer and bleed controls thy hand and without his behest thou canst not strike a stroke my god is sinless eternal all wise in him is my trust and though stripped and crushed by thee though naked and desolate void of resource I do not despair I cannot despair where the lance of Guthrum now wet with my blood I should not despair I watch, I toil, I hope I pray Jehovah in his own time will aid I need not continue the quotation the hold of Wa was in the same strain there were errors of orthography there were foreign idioms there were some faults of construction there were verbs irregular transformed into verbs regular it was mostly made up as the above example shows of short and somewhat rude sentences and the style stood in great need of polish and sustained dignity yet such as it was I had hitherto seen nothing like it in the course of my professorial experience the girl's mind had conceived a picture of the hut of the two peasants of the crownless king she had imagined the wintry forest she had recalled the old Saxon ghost legends she had appreciated Alfred's courage under calamity she had remembered his Christian education and had shown him with the rooted confidence of those primitive days relying on the scriptural Jehovah for aid against the mythological destiny she had done without a hint from me I had given the subject but not said a word about the manner of treating it I will find or make an opportunity of speaking to her I said to myself as I rolled the Devoir up I will learn what she has of English in her besides the name of Francis Evans she is no novice in the language that is evident yet she told me she had neither been in England nor taken lessons in English families in the course of my next lesson I made a report of the other Devoir dealing out praise and blame in very small retail parcels according to my custom for there was no use in blaming severely and high end comiums were rarely merited I said nothing of mademoiselle Henri's exercise and spectacles on nose I endeavored to decipher in her countenance her sentiments at the omission I wanted to find out whether in her existed a consciousness of her own talents if she thinks she did a clever thing in composing that Devoir she will now look mortified thought I grave as usual almost somber was her face as usual her eyes were fastened on the Cayille open before her there was something I thought of expectation in her attitude as I concluded a brief review of the last Devoir and when casting it from me and rubbing my hands I bade them take their grammars some slight change did pass over her air and mean as though she now relinquished a faint prospect of pleasant excitement she had been waiting for something to be discussed in which she had a degree of interest the discussion was not to come on so expectations sank back shrunk and sad but attention promptly filling up the void repaired in a moment the transient collapse of feature still I felt rather than saw during the whole course of the lesson that a hope had been wrenched from her and that if she did not show distress it was because she would not at four o'clock when the bell rang and the rum was in immediate tumult instead of taking my hat from the Estrade I sat still for a moment I looked at Francis she was putting her books into her caba having fastened the button she raised her head encountering my eye she made a quiet respectful obeisance as bidding good afternoon and was turning to depart come here said I lifting my finger at the same time she hesitated she could not hear the words the uproar now pervading both schoolrooms I repeated the sign she approached again she paused within half a yard of the Estrade and looked shy and still doubtful whether she had mistaken my meaning step up I said speaking with decision it is the only way of dealing with diffident easily embarrassed characters and with some slight manual aid I presently got her placed where I wanted her to be that is between my desk and the window where she was screened from the rush of the second division and where no one could sneak behind her to listen take a seat I said placing a taboo and I made her sit down I knew what I was doing would be considered a very strange thing and what was more I did not care Francis knew it also and I fear by an appearance and trembling that she cared much I drew from my pocket the rolled up Devoir this is yours I suppose said I addressing her in English for I have now felt sure she could speak English yes she answered distinctly and as I unrolled it and laid it out flat on the desk before her with my hand upon it and a pencil in that hand I saw her moved and as it were kindled her depression beam it as a cloud might behind which the sun is burning this Devoir has numerous faults said I it will take you some years of careful study before you're in a condition to write English with absolute correctness attend I will point out some principal defects and I went through it carefully noting every error and demonstrating why they were errors and how the words phrases ought to have been written in the course of this sobering process she became calm I now went on as to the substance of your Devoir mademoiselle Henri it has surprised me I perused it with pleasure because I saw in it some proofs of taste and fancy taste and fancy are not the highest gifts of the human mind but such as they are you possess them not probably in a paramount degree but in a degree beyond what the majority can boast you may then take courage cultivate the faculties that God and nature have bestowed on you and do not fear in any crisis of suffering under any pressure of injustice to derive free and full consolation from the consciousness of their strength and rarity strength and rarity I repeated to myself I the words are probably true for on looking up I saw the sun had severed its screening cloud the countenance was transfigured a smile shone in her eyes a smile almost triumphant it seemed to say I am glad that you have been forced to discover so much of my nature you need not so carefully moderate your language do you think I am myself what you tell me in terms so qualified I have known fully from a child she did say this as plainly as a frank and flashing glance could but in a moment the glow of her complexion the radiance of her aspect had subsided if strongly conscious of her talents she was equally conscious of her harassing defects and the remembrance of these obliterated for a single second now reviving which sudden force at once subdued the two vivid characters in which her sense of her powers had been expressed so quick was the revulsion of feeling I had not time to check her triumph by reproof ere I could contract my brows to a frown she had become serious and almost mournful looking thank you sir said she rising there was gratitude both in her voice and in the look with which she accompanied it it was time indeed for our conference to terminate for when I glanced around behold all the borders the day scholars had departed were congregated with a new yard or two of my desk and stood staring with eyes and mouths wide open the three metas formed a whispering knot in one corner and close at my elbow was the directoress sitting on a low chair calmly clipping the tassels of her finished purse end of chapter 16 recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey chapter 17 of the professor this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Berenie the professor by Charlotte Brante chapter 17 after all I had profited but imperfectly by the opportunity I had so boldly achieved of speaking to Mademoiselle Henri it was my intention to ask her how she came to be possessed of two English baptismal names Francis and Evans in addition to her French surname also when she derived a good accent I had forgotten both points or rather our colloquy had been so brief that I had not had time to bring them forward moreover I had not half tested her powers of speaking English all I had drawn from her in that language were the words yes and thank you sir no matter I reflected what has been left incomplete now shall be finished another day nor did I fail to keep the promise thus made to myself it was difficult to get even a few words of particular conversation with one pupil among so many but according to the old proverb where there is a will there is a way and again and again I managed to find an opportunity for exchanging a few words with Mademoiselle Henri regardless that envy stared and attraction whispered whenever I approached her your book an instant such was the mode in which I often began these brief dialogues the time was always just the conclusion of the lesson and motioning to her to rise I installed myself in her place allowing her to stand differentially at my side for I esteemed it wise and right in her case to enforce strictly all forms ordinarily in use between master and pupil but rather because I perceived that in proportion as my manner grew austere and magisterial others became easy and self-possessed an odd contradiction doubtless to the ordinary effect in such cases but so it was a pencil said I holding out my hand without looking at her I am now about to sketch a brief report of the first of these conferences she gave me one and while I underlined some errors in a grammatical exercise she had written I observed you are not a native of Belgium no nor of France no where then is your birthplace I was born at Geneva you don't call Francis and Evans Swiss names I presume no sir they are English names just so and is it the custom of the Genoveses to give their children English appellatives no sir speak English if you please English but slowly and with embarrassment my parents were not all the two Genoveses say both instead of all the two not both Swiss my mother was English ah and of English extraction yes her ancestors were all English and your father he was Swiss what besides what was his profession ecclesiastic pastor he had a church since your mother is an English woman why do you not speak English with more facility maman est morte il y a des sons and you do homage to her memory by forgetting a language have the goodness to put French out of your mind so long as I can verse with you keep to English c'est difficile messieurs candle n'est pas plus la habitude you have the habitude formally I suppose now answer me in your mother tongue yes sir I spoke the English more in the French when I was a child why do you not speak it now because I have no English friends you live with your father I suppose my father is dead you have brothers and sisters not one do you live alone no I have an aunt ma tante julien your father's sister just mon messieurs is that English no but I forget for which mademoiselle if you were a child I should certainly devise some slight punishment at your age you must be 2 or 3 and 20 I should think pas encore messieurs et ne moi j'aurai dis-nous France well 19 is a mature age and having attained it you ought to be so solicitous for your own improvement that it should not be needful for a master to remind you twice of the expediency of your speaking English is never practicable to this wise speech I receive no answer and when I looked up my pupil was smiling to herself a much meaning though not very gay smile it seemed to say he talks of he knows not what it said this so plainly that I determined to request information on the point concerning which my ignorance seemed to be thus tacitly affirmed are you solicitous for your own improvement rather how do you prove it mademoiselle an odd question and bluntly put it excited a second smile why monsieur I am not inattentive am I I learn my lessons well oh a child can do that and what more do you do what more can I do oh certainly not much but you are a teacher are you not as well as a pupil yes you teach lace bending yes a dull stupid occupation do you like it no it is tedious why do you pursue it why do you not rather teach history geography grammar even arithmetic is monsieur certain that I am myself thoroughly acquainted with these studies I do not know you ought to be at your age but I never was at school monsieur indeed what then were your friends what was your aunt about she is very much to blame no monsieur no my aunt is good she is not to blame she does what she can she lodges and nourishes me I report mademoiselle on Rhys phrases literally and it was thus she translated from the French she is not rich she has only an annuity of 1200 francs and it would be impossible for her to send me to school rather thought I to myself on hearing this but I continued in the dogmatical tone I had adopted it is sad however that you should be brought up in ignorance of the most ordinary branches of education had you known something of history and grammar you might by degrees have relinquished your lace mending drudgery in the world it is what I mean to do how by a knowledge of English alone that will not suffice no respectable family will receive a governess whose whole stock of knowledge consists in a familiarity with one foreign language monsieur I know other things yes yes you can work with Berlin walls and embroidered haggard chiefs and collars that will do little for you Zelle Henri's lips were unclose to answer but she checked herself as thinking the discussion had been sufficiently pursued and remained silent speak I continued impatiently I never like the appearance of acquiescence when the reality is not there and you had a contradiction at your tongue's end monsieur I have had many lessons both in grammar history geography and arithmetic I have gone through a course of each study bravo but how did you manage it since your aunt could not afford to send you to school by lace mending by this thing monsieur despises so much truly and now mademoiselle it will be a good exercise for you to explain to me in English how such a result was produced by such means monsieur I begged my aunt to have me taught lace mending soon after we came to Brussels because I knew it was a matière a trade which was easily learnt and by which I could earn some money very soon I learnt it in a few days and I quickly got work for all the Brussels ladies have old lace very precious which must be mended all the times it is washed I earned money a little and this money I gave for lessons in these studies I have mentioned some of it I spent in buying books English books especially soon I shall try to find a place of governess or school teacher when I can write and speak English well but it will be difficult because those who know I have been a lace mender will despise me as the pupils here despise me pourtant j'ai mon projet she added in a lower tone what is it I will go and live in England I will teach French there the words were pronounced emphatically she said England as you might suppose in Israelite of Moses days would have said Canaan have your wish to see England yes and an intention and here a voice the voice of the directoress interposed mademoiselle Henri j'ai quoi qu'il va plus voir vous feriez bien moi bon ami de retourner chez vous tout de suite in silence without a word of thanks for this officious warning mademoiselle Henri collected her books she moved to me respectfully endeavoured to move to her superior though the endeavour was almost a failure for her head seemed as if it would not bend and thus departed where there is one grain of perseverance or willfulness in the composition trifling obstacles are ever known rather to students obstacles are ever known rather to stimulate than discourage mademoiselle router might as well have spared herself the trouble of giving that intimation about the weather by the by her prediction was falsified by the event it did not rain that evening at the close of the next lesson I was again at mademoiselle Henri's desk thus did I accost her what is your idea of England mademoiselle why do you wish to go there accustomed by this time to the calculated abruptness of my manner it no longer discomposed or surprised her and she answered with only so much of hesitation as was rendered inevitable by the difficulty she experienced in improvising the translation of her thoughts from French to English England is something unique as I have heard and read my idea of it is vague and I want to go there to render my idea clear definite hum how much of England do you suppose you could see if you went there in the capacity of a teacher a strange notion you must have of getting a clear and definite idea of a country all you could see of Great Britain would be the interior of a school or at most of one or two private dwellings it would be an English school they would be English dwellings indisputably but what then what would be the value of observations made on a scale so narrow Monsieur might not one learn something by analogy hum a chantillon a sample often serves to give an idea of the whole besides narrow and wide our words comparative are they not all my life would perhaps seem narrow in your eyes all the life of a what little animal subterranean un trope commentiton mool yes a mool which lives underground would seem narrow even to me well mademoiselle what then proceed mais monsieur prenez not in the least have the goodness to explain why Monsieur it is just so in Switzerland I have done but little learnt but little and seen but little my life there was in a circle I walked the same round every day I could not get out of it had I rested remain there even till my death I could never have enlarged it poor and not skewful I have not great acquirements when I was quite tired of this round I begged my aunt to go to Brussels my existence is no larger here because I am no richer or higher I walk in as narrow a limit but the scene is changed it would change again if I went to England I knew something of the bourgeois of Geneva now I know something of the bourgeois of Brussels if I went to London I would know something of the bourgeois of London can you make any sense out of what I say Monsieur or is it all obscure I see I see now let us to another subject you propose to devote your life to teaching and you are a most unsuccessful teacher you cannot keep your pupils in order a flush of painful confusion was a result of this harsh remark she bent her head to the desk but soon raising it replied Monsieur I am not a skewful teacher it is true but practice improves besides I work under difficulties here I only teach sewing I can show no power in sewing no superiority it is a subordinate art then I have no associates in this house I am isolated I am too a heretic which deprives me of influence and in England you would be a foreigner that too would deprive you of influence and would effectually separate you from all round you in England you would have as few connections as little importance as you have here but I should be learning something for the rest there are probably difficulties for such as I everywhere and if I must contend and perhaps be conquered I would rather submit to English pride than to Flemish coarseness besides Monsieur she stopped not evidently from any difficulty in finding words to express herself but because discretion seemed to say you have said enough finish your phrase I urged besides Monsieur I long to live once more among Protestants and Catholics a Romish school is a building with porous walls a hollow floor a false ceiling every room in this house Monsieur has eye holes and ear holes and what the house is the inhabitants are very treacherous they all think it lawful to tell lies they all call it politeness to profess friendship where they feel hatred all you mean the pupils the mere children inexperienced giddy things who have not learnt to distinguish the difference between right and wrong on the contrary Monsieur the children are the most sincere they have not yet had time to become accomplished in duplicity they will tell lies but they do it in artificially and you know they are lying but the grown up people are very false they deceive strangers they deceive each other a servant here entered mademoiselle andrie mademoiselle router you pray de vous lois bien conduire la petite de Dolodeau chez elle elle vous attend dans le cabinet de Rosalie la portière c'est que ce bon n'est pas venu la chercher voyez-vous eh bien est-ce que je suis sa bonne moi then smiling with that same bitter derisive smile I had seen on her lips once before she hastily rose and made her exit end of chapter 17 recording by Berenie