 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as The Great Gilded Sleeve. The Gilded Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by The Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, makers of wonderful Kraft deluxe slices, perfect slices of delicious pasteurized processed cheese. Kraft deluxe slices are made an exclusive way to give you more wonderful flavor in every sandwich size slice. Enjoy them often. Kraft deluxe slices. Another product you can depend on for quality because it's made by Kraft. Summerfield. Last January 1st, The Great Gilded Sleeve made a resolution to clean out the desk in his den. Here it is July 1st and guess what? He's doing it. Oh, I don't know where all this stuff comes from. Here it is. That's one drawer cleaned out. At this rate, I should be through by Christmas. Birdie! Do you have another waste paper basket for me? Oh, good. You want me to double draw a pull in here? Birdie, I have to sort it. Oh, you're going to keep a few things? Well, I have many things worth keeping. No, sir. Yeah, let me see. Let me clean this up. Keeping that unless you plan to sue him for breach of promise someday. Well, here she goes in the waste basket. Goodbye, Miss Ransom. Hello, somebody else. No, Birdie. Hey, what's this? Oh, some ol' stereoscope slides. Yeah, I can throw them away. We have television now. Yes. Let's just see how long it's been since you cleaned out your desk. Oh, not so long, Birdie. Let's see what we have here. A 1929 calendar. You ain't cleaned out this desk, is it, craze? Right, George. Look at this. Yes. Here's a recording of little Leroy's voice, aged five. I wondered where that was. Yeah, I haven't heard in years. I think I'll put it on the record player. I'd like to hear that again. That boy sure liked his uncle. Yeah, we were pals. As I recall, I interviewed him on this. Yes, sir. The record's a little warped. Hope it still plays. Don't be frightened, Leroy. Talk into this little gadget. Okay. It's working. Leroy, remember you're not supposed to say okay. Okay. Best boy. Where have you been today, Leroy? To the circus. Who took you to the circus? Hey, what's his name? Ah. You, huh, Birdie? He was crazy about me. Oh, yes. Leroy, who do you want to be like when you grow up? The elephant. When you grow up, you want to be like me? I'd rather be like an elephant. Oh, my goodness. Tell me, what do you think of your uncle? Well, I think he's a... I think he's a... I think he's a... I think he's a... Needle stuck, Birdie. Yes. But I remember Leroy didn't think of it. Anybody like his uncle. Yeah, that's right. He thought you were the most wonderful uncle in the world. Well, he still thinks so. Yes, sir. Of course, we don't get to pal around the way we once did. But he's been in school and I've been busy. Right, George, this summer is a good time for Leroy and me to see a lot of each other. Yes, sir. Fourth of July weekend is coming up. I think I'll devote it entirely to Leroy. That would be nice. You used to tickle him to death when I suggested doing something with him. Oh, yes, sir. He used to follow you around like a puppy. Well, hello, Leroy. Hi. Leroy. Yeah? Saturday's the fourth of July, you know. Yeah, I know. I thought we might spend it together. Maybe go to a baseball game. Well, that'll be swell, huh? Good. But I can't make it. You can? No, I'm going on a hike with Piggy and the fellas. Oh, well, it's a lot more restful to sit in the grandstand and watch other fellas hike around the bases. Why don't you go with Mr. Peavey or somebody? I'd rather go hiking with the kids. Well, how about a movie tonight? I'm sorry. I'm Piggy and I are going to tune up his model airplane. He's waiting outside for me now. I'll be seeing you, huh? Well, are you off again? I haven't had a chance to see you. You used to follow me around like a puppy. Now I've lost him to a Piggy. Thank you, Bertie. Well, he was helping Piggy with his airplane until pretty late last night. Yes, too bad you didn't get to be with him. Well, I have a big day lined up for him today. You know how he likes to go with me to the water department? Oh, yes, sir. Well, I thought I'd take him with me to the reservoir this morning. The engineer and I have to make some soundings and Leroy will like the boat trip. Yes, that boy likes anything where he might get whipped. Here he comes. Good morning, my boy. Morning, Leroy. Hi. And Bertie's keeping your breakfast warm. Thanks, Bertie. You're welcome. Now then, Leroy, I have a great idea for today. Oh, you don't have to shout. I was just inviting her in. I'll go to the door. Since school's out, they've been coming through the woodwork like termites. You do seem busy, my boy. Yeah, we've got things to do. Well, as I was saying about today. Come on. Yes, won't you join us, babs? Mr. Gilles, please. Can I take something for you, bab? No, thanks, Bertie. I just had orange juice and cinnamon toast. A real nervous breakfast. That's all I had. I'd be nervous. Leroy, if we don't hurry, we won't get a cold. What? I'm really ready to go. Leroy, I haven't seen you long enough to tell you about the plans I had for you. Yeah? I thought you'd like to go out to the reservoir. Reservoir? You're kidding. All right. Well, gosh, I already had a game of tennis lined up with Babs. But you used to plead with me to go to the reservoir. That was before you started playing tennis with the girls. Oh, Babs is like a girl. She just lives across the street. Hand in the movies. You weren't reaching for the popcorn. Oh, I was, too. I was watching the picture and didn't know what I was doing. Look, I read his face, isn't it, to kill this Leroy? Well... Yes, yes. Now, how about today, Leroy? If you'd like to postpone your tennis game. Well, gosh, it's all right, Leroy. If you'd rather go to the reservoir with your uncle than play tennis with me. Oh, gosh, no. You know I want to play tennis with you, Babs. Oh, for... I knew you in that reservoir didn't have a chance. Yes, it did. Yes, it's going to continue through the fort. By the way, what are you going to do over the fort? Usual. What do you mean? Well, I always take home a stick of punk, and Mrs. Phoebe and I have a big celebration. Lighting firecrackers? Oh, I know. Mrs. Phoebe doesn't care for firecrackers. We just like to punk. Oh, my goodness. What fun is that? It isn't any fun. Mrs. Phoebe likes the smell of the punk. What a 4th of July. What are you going to do, Mr. Jonesby? Well, I don't know. I thought Leroy and I would do something, but he has other plans with his young friends. You sound a little disappointed. Well, he's always with them. Phoebe, when he comes in the drugstore, does he ever talk to you about me? Yes. He does? Just the other day, he asked me if you ever bought hair dye. Hair dye? He wondered why you weren't getting a little gray. Oh, why would he say a thing like that? Well, I guess he thinks it's time you were getting gray. Well, how would he know? I never see him anymore. And we used to do everything to get it. Well, face to face in life, Mr. Gillis, means you and Leroy are going in opposite directions. Right? He's going uphill and you're going downhill. What do you mean downhill? Over the hill. At least in the eyes of the teenagers. You suppose Leroy feels that way? He probably isn't conscious of it, but it's a typical reaction. We just don't speak their language, Mr. Gillis. No, since we all speak English, Phoebe. No, not so sure. The other day, a young lady came in here and said, man, dig that banana's blade, Dad. It's real zorge. What do you mean, Phoebe? That's what I tell you. Well, my George, I'm no old Phoebe. They can't turn me out to pasture. If Leroy doesn't show any interest in me, I'll go out on my way to show an interest in his crowd. Yeah, that's an assignment I wouldn't undertake. Phoebe, you just can't adjust yourself to a situation the way I can. After all, it hasn't been long since I was a teenager. No, I wouldn't say that. Don't be home until dinner, so I'll just go join them. Sure. It'll be fun being with the Bobby Soxers again. Oh, Mr. Gillis, please. Hello, bams. Did you come to take Leroy home? Oh, no, indeed. I thought I'd join you, if I may. Of course not. Well, come in, Mr. Gillis, please. Yeah, thank you. What's with you kids? What's cooking? We've been discussing that cool, gone diving instructor at the city pool. Great. Would you like a Coke, Mr. Gillis, please? Yes, you might zorge me a Coke. Oh, brother, should I get you a glass? No, I'll drink at the halfway, like you. Get him. I don't dig it. Well, let's go on with the conversation about the diving instructor. He's, uh, George, huh? No, he's Mike. Mr. Gillis, please. George isn't George anymore. Oh. Well, how about some music? Let's have a little record session. Yeah, let's flip some planets. I've got the craziest gone arrangement of Piccadilly circus. Well, let's get the circus on their own. Stop, Uncle. No reason to be embarrassedly right. Processed cheese and slices. One brand of cheese and slices is different from all others. That brand is Kraft Deluxe Slices. Kraft Deluxe Slices of pasteurized processed cheese are made a completely different way, a way that only craft makes them. Instead of being cut from a loaf, they're formed into slices by an amazing craft invention. This means that Kraft Deluxe Slices are better three important ways. First, every slice is uniform and perfect with no ragged edges. Second, their extra good tasting as a result of this exclusive method. Kraft Deluxe Slices are actually more delicious than any other processed cheese you've ever tasted. And third, they keep fresh longer because their surfaces are never roughed up with a knife. Every neat package of Kraft Deluxe Slices holds eight slices, a whole half pound of this delicious processed cheese. And each slice is exactly sandwich size, all ready to put between bread without touching a knife. You won't find a handier helper for making quick sandwich meals and snacks anywhere. Make it a habit to keep several packages of Kraft Deluxe Slices in your refrigerator. Make it a habit to look for the packages marked Kraft Deluxe Slices in your Grocer's Dairy Case. Remember, the name Kraft on any food product means quality. The great Gildesleeve figured he should be spending more time with his nephew Leroy. So he decided the best way to do this would be to join in Leroy's teenage activities. He tried a few hot dance steps with the kids. Now he's cooling his heels at Peavey's. Anything besides the adhesive tape, Mr. Gildesleeve? No, Peavey. That'll protect the blister on my foot, I guess. You can give me another glass of ice water. You're dehydrated. I was steaming like an old radiator. Well, I won't say I told you, Joe, but I did. Yes, yes. I realize I can't keep up with the teenagers. I told you, Joe. Well, stop telling me. I've learned my lesson. Yeah, which is the type who has to be told. All right, all right. Joe, I told you. Oh. Anyway, Peavey, I realize now that Leroy has his interests and I'll just have to have mine. Now, that's sensible, Mr. Gildesleeve. I recall I once had a partner in the drug business, but our interests weren't the same. So he decided to go his way. Oh? He was fond of the horse races, so he finally pulled out while I remained your friendly neighborhood druggist. I'm glad you did, Peavey. What's he doing? He's the friendly neighborhood veterinarian. Well, he's probably a happier man. And by George, I'm going to be happy. You're going to become a veterinarian? No. I'm going to stick to my own friends. And I think I'll pull in May Kelly. You see your latest girls? She's the current one. Now, I'm going to be a lily wire. May, this is Throckmorton. Throckmorton, you're from you. Yeah, yeah. It was only a couple of days ago. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I think the lily wire is going to blow a fuse. It's been a big evening with May Kelly. The travel agent? Yeah, but we aren't going any place. We're going to spend the evening here. Yes. This will be her first visit to our house, so I thought we might have some refreshments. Yes, sir. You want the same refreshments we always had when Mrs. Ranson, Ms. Toad, Ms. Winthrop, Ms. Nelson, Ms. McKinney came over? Hmm, time does fly, doesn't it? Yes. Yeah, I'll leave the refreshments up to you, Birdie. Yes. Ms. Gilsey. Yes? After what you said about being with Leroy more, I thought you two might be planning to do something tonight. Well, Leroy has his interests, and I'm not going to push myself on him. Ms. Gilsey, don't blame Leroy for spending so much time with the kids. He just wasn't thinking. I don't blame him at all. Perfectly all right. As you see, I'm going to live my life. Yes. Well, I'd better go get dressed for Mae Kelly because she'll be dressed for me. Yes, sir. Oh, Mr. Gilsey, he's smiling down the front side and crying down the back. Hi, Birdie. Hello, Leroy. Is that home? He just went upstairs. Well, I want to talk to him about going to the movies tonight. Why don't you? I bet he'd give up his date tonight. Why should he give up his date? I want to ask if I can go with Babs in the gang. Oh, Leroy. Yeah? Birdie wants to have a talk with you. Yeah? Hey, didn't you notice the change in your uncle? Boy, have I. He came over to Babs yesterday and I thought he'd flipped his lid. I had to dance to Texas Hop with Babs and he says, Lurch me a Coke. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Well, he knows what he wants, Leroy. He wants to be with you so he's trying to act like you. Yeah? Maybe Birdie shouldn't buddy him, but Birdie thinks you ought to spend a little more time with your uncle. Gosh, I wouldn't hurt Uncle the world. I'd go up and have a talk with him. Oh, he won't admit he wants you around, but he does. Nothing pleases him more. Well, maybe I should stay home and sit with him tonight. You've got somebody to sit with him tonight, Ms. Kelly. Well, I'll get Babs and Laws sit with him. Anything for good ol' Lunk. Come into the parlor, May. Why, you have a lovely home, Dr. Morton, for a bachelor. Thank you. I think we can give the credit to Birdie. Birdie? No, Birdie. Birdie, Ms. Kelly is here. Oh, then Birdie will be more quiet. May, this is our Birdie. Oh, hello, Birdie. How are you, Ms. Kelly? It's nice to see you. Thank you, Birdie. I was just telling Mr. Gilda's leave how nice you kept the house. Thank you, ma'am. And while the bookings are being passed, I'd like to give one to you. You're the prettiest girl Mr. Gilda's leave has brought home for a long time. Really? Of course, I like Ms. Tuttel and that Ms. Winthrop crosses the street. Hey, Birdie. And that Ms. McKinley, he sure knows how to pick them. Birdie! Yes, ma'am? That Birdie. May, shall we sit over here on the couch by the bay window? All right. Now, let's see. Before you hushed Birdie, she mentioned the Ms. Tuttel, and this is Winthrop. Now, May. No wonder you're such a charming bachelor. You've had so much experience. Anyway, tonight's my night. Hey, no. I've got you all to myself. Well, there's somebody peeking. Who? The moon coming up over the water tank. Well, he won't notice us if we don't notice him. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to keep from noticing the moon when you're sitting close to a pretty girl as pretty as you are. Yeah, I hope Leroy's having fun because I am. Well, what are you thinking? You know, I was thinking what a fine time you and I are going to have tonight, just sitting and laughing. Oh, Throckmorton. Just the two of us. Just the two of us. Zeke. Zeke who? It's Leroy. Hi, Aunt. Hello, Miss Kelly. Hello, Leroy. Hello, Leroy. Babs. Good evening, Mr. Gilder, please. Babs, I'd like to meet Miss Kelly. Miss Kelly, this is Bab. How do you do, Bab? Hello. Sit down, Bab. Thank you. I'll sit over here close to my uncle. Leroy, if you came by to ask for money for a movie or something, here it is. You're probably in a hurry. We don't want to go to a movie, Aunt. Where do you want to go? We want to stay right here with you. And Miss Kelly, of course. Oh, for... I haven't seen much here lately, Aunt. Well... I've missed you. What a devoted nephew. Yeah, I don't feel right about not seeing you. That's all right, Leroy. So I'm going to see you more often. All right, Leroy. Confounded. Well, now that we're all here, what do we do? Tell us about when you went to college, Aunt. Oh, nobody's interested in that. Oh, sure. Tell us about when you played football. Did they play football then? Of course they played football. My son! Young man, that was before my time. Okay, okay. Let's talk about something else. What else can your uncle talk about? Well, uh... Why don't we talk about you and your little girlfriend? Oh, we're not nearly as interesting as you older people. Well... Watch it, Babs. They're sensitive. Look at the records I brought over. What's going on? Who is just want to play some records for you? What do you got, Babs? Perhaps Mr. Gilderslee would like to hear this John McCormick record. Good heavens. I thought he invented the reaper. Oh, no. He thinks my wild Irish rose on one side and Mother McCree on the other. They have us in our rocking chairs. Babs, don't you have something a little later than to have something we can dance to? Oh, do you want to dance? We can still dance, Babs. We're going to dance. Put on that piece you played for me yesterday. Put it on, Babs. Kinds of Kraft Deluxe Slices. These slices of extra good tasting pasteurized processed cheese that are so handy for quick snacks and sandwiches come in mellow Kraft American. Kraft American with bits of scarlet pimento added. Nutsweet Kraft Swiss. Kraft Brick with that deep rich goodness and wonderfully sharp old English brand. Try them. All five delicious kinds of Kraft Deluxe Slices. George, it was a wonderful evening, May. Oh, I enjoyed it, Rockmorton. I hate to bring you home this early, but it's a good example for the kids. You know, Leeroy and Babs are so cute. Yeah, tonight certainly proves that the teenagers and the grown-ups can enjoy each other's company. That's pretty important to you, isn't it? You bet. And it's up to us grown-ups to bend in their direction. After all, we're not so different. We like to have fun. We like to be romantic at times, don't we? Of course we do, Rockmorton. Yes, they're all. I'm just a boy. And in the moonlight, you could be sweet-sixty. Oh. How about a little kiss? Sorry, but my mother won't let me. Good night. Oh, I should have stuck to the adult approach. Barbara Whiting and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week throughout the summer for the further adventures of The Great Kilda Sleep. Cheese sandwiches, meat sandwiches, lettuce and tomato sandwiches all taste better than ever when you make them with Miracle Sandwich Spread. Miracle Sandwich Spread has a delicious tang, a wonderful way of adding pep to your sandwich. This sandwich spread is made by Kraft from America's favorite salad dressing, Miracle Whip and Spicy Relishes. For a quick, thrifty sandwich, use Miracle Sandwich Spread alone between bread. But try it soon. Miracle Sandwich Spread made by Kraft. Enjoy the best of Groucho on NBC.