 Hello everybody, welcome to part two in our new series, Uncovering the Magdalene. As most of you probably know, my opinion is that through this great awakening, one of the things that is being restored is the Divine Feminine, the true Divine Feminine. Not the Baphomet, not the inversion of the Feminine, but the Divine Feminine. No one in our history embodies that energy quite like Mary Magdalene. It is my personal belief that Mary Magdalene was the twin flame of Yahshua, Jesus, the Christ. And in fact, both of them together created the Christ consciousness. We know that Mary Magdalene was not a sex worker, and we're learning that she most likely was not from Magdala, as we have been told. We were taught that her name Magdalene was from her hometown, but again, it appears that Mary was probably of Greek descent, at least through her father, and most likely grew up in Egypt. So if that's the case, what does the Magdalene actually mean? I asked this question on my community board last week, and I truly loved all the responses. Multiple heads are better than one, and together we will figure out the truth behind this mystical and magical woman. It is our understanding that Yahshua himself carried the bloodline of A.B. Negative. But the Magdalene, she carried, allegedly, the bloodline of Atlantis. Because you see, we know that our timeline is off. We know that the fall of Atlantis wasn't as long ago as we've been taught it was. And through the union of the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine, both spiritually and physically, a new timeline was born. And it is my opinion that where we're sitting right now in our current time mirrors that time. Now we're kicking off this series, as I said, last week with the book written by Megan Waterson called Mary Magdalene Revealed. Last week in part one, I just read the introduction. And this week we're going to go a little bit further into this book. Now I'm reading along with you guys, and I saw that a lot of you guys went and got this book. So I'm super, super excited to hear your opinions as well. But all in all, I'm hoping what this series will do will ignite a conversation. A conversation about the truth of who we really are as human beings. And the truth about our own divinity and our own connection to source. As many of you know, the Gospel of Mary teaches a very different theology than the one that is taught at the churches today. On my opinion, the missing books of the Bible, especially the Gnostic books as the Gospel of Mary is considered to be a Gnostic book, tell more of the true story of the teachings of the Christ. For those who have been on this channel for a long time, you know that part of my research is uncovering the matrix of the church. We know that the church is part of the dark cult. We know it's controlled by the same people who control our media and everything else in our matrix system. We also know that the canonized Bible has been heavily edited and heavily manipulated. And as most of you know, I did a deep dive on King James I from the King James Bible a few weeks ago for David Zublik. And yes, the King James Bible is definitely not a Bible to be trusted. I will put a link to that episode down in the description box below. Again, as I've said many times, this unveiling, this unmasking of the church matrix has not robbed me of my faith. In fact, the opposite, it strengthened my faith because it's shown me that the God, our Creator, our Source, is far more loving than anything that was ever taught to us. And through the Gospel of Mary, along with the other Gnostic Gospels, we see how it is us in ourselves that connect solely to Source. So with that being said, let's go ahead and start with the first section of the book, Mary Magdalene Revealed. If you have the same copy as me, it's page one right after the introduction, and it's entitled Why I Could Kiss a Copped, C-O-P-T Copped. Now normally when I do readings, I do it in podcast form because I felt like it would be a little bit boring just to see me read. But you guys said you would prefer it if I read on camera, and this will give me a chance to engage in more discussion, even though you're not currently right here while I'm filming. I'm hoping that any questions I propose in this video, or topics that are brought up, or themes that are brought up in this book, you will be able to then interact down in the comment section below. So this section starts off with a quote from The Thunder, The Perfect Mine, one five through 10, I am the first and the last, I am she who was honored and she who was scorned, I am the whore and the holy woman, I am the wife and the virgin, I am the bride and the bridegroom, I am she, the Lord. Kind of reminds me of that song from the 90s, I'm a bitch. You guys know that song I'm talking about. That's kind of what that, if you look up the lyrics to that song, that's kind of what that reminds me of. So anyway, it just gives you the complexity of being a woman, right? So it goes on to say the earliest evidence of the lost gospel of Mary Magdalene was discovered in January of 1896 at an antiquities market in Cairo by a German scholar named Carl Reinhardt. It was written in Coptic on ancient papyruses. Coptic is an Egyptian language that is still used today by Egyptian Christians called cops, again, C-O-P-T-S. It was placed in the Egyptian museum in Berlin with the official title and catalog number of the Codex Barolinesis 8502. I probably didn't say that right, which is a mouthful. So scholars refer to it as the Berlin Codex. Now, interestingly enough, I have Coptic Egyptian in my lineage. That's super interesting to me. I found out so much about my own heritage. I actually do have a lot of Greek as well. So I have a lot of Coptic Egyptian and a lot of Greek in me. And then some of the Levant, some Lebanese, a lot of Romanian. And then the rest is just Northern European, obviously. Egyptian tologists Carl Schmidt set about creating a German translation of the gospel, except for the missing pages. So again, if you were here last week, remember in the introduction, she spoke about how all the copies found of Mary were missing pages one through six, meaning that those pages were probably ripped out of the gospel deliberately and not through time. So there must have been something very, very potent on those pages. So except for the missing pages, the text was in good condition. And since Coptic script was used almost exclusively by cops, Schmidt concluded that their communities in Egypt were the ones to translate, preserve and perhaps even save the gospel of Mary from complete erosure. So again, the gospel of Mary was found in Egypt because it was buried in Egypt with a lot of the other gospels when an edict was put out after the Council of Nicaea, which I have spoken about a lot with Constantine, basically it was put out telling everybody if they had these books, then it was bad news for them, you know, like execution style, bad news. And so a lot of these gospels were buried in hopes that people would find them years later. The publication of Schmidt's translation of the gospel of Mary was ready to go to the printing press in 1912. But just as the printer was nearing completion, a water pipe burst and destroyed the entire first edition. Schmidt tried to salvage the mess, but was interrupted by World War One. And then before he could return to resurrect the project, he died in 1938. He bequeathed the project to another scholar by the name of Walter Till. In the meantime, in 1917, a small third century Greek fragment of the gospel Mary was found. It was known as Papyrus Rylans 463 and was also discovered in Egypt. This version added clear confirmation to passages of the Berlin Codex and also additional evidence about the gospel's early date. Walter Till incorporated the new information into his translation of the gospel of Mary. It was ready to go to print in 1943. But by this time, World War Two made the publication of Mary's gospel again impossible. And then Till gave up his attempts altogether. It's so interesting to me, especially if you guys have been on this journey for a really long time with the Great Awakening, not just with the missing bucks of the Bible, but with everything we know about the world and what we've been living through, especially these last like 100 years. And we know that both the World Wars were not just started haphazardly, that there was a plan put in place there. And it's interesting how we've kind of taken this leap to the end of this timeline. And we know that time and spirit world is different than our humanly time, but that all these things started to happen, not just for the nefarious purposes of them happening globally, but they also stopped the information in this gospel coming out to the people. Again, you guys know that a lot of these gospels that are missing, they are in their full context under the Vatican in the Vatican Library. We know that biblically there should be 777 books in the Bible, and we only got about 66. And we only have about 45 of the missing books, because again, they were found in excavations and digs. And Gospel of Mary was one of them. So it's interesting that when they started to kind of be rediscovered, all these world events started happening that, yes, has pushed us to where we are now with this battle between good and evil, but was also stopping this publication for being released. All right, they go on to say, when the war was over, there had been a discovery in a village called Nakhamadi in Egypt of a large amount of early Christian scripts. The Nakhamadi Library, I've spoken about that a lot. For example, the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and this powerful and poetic piece of scripture called the Thunder Perfect Mind among many others. No copies of the Gospel of Mary were found among the preserved texts at Nakhamadi. However, the two texts that were found within the Berlin Codex rolled up with the Gospel of Mary appeared among the mass findings of manuscripts, the Apocryphon of John and the Sophia of Jesus Christ. We've read the Apocryphon of John, and I'm so glad she's bringing this up because where I'm planning to go with this series on the Magdalen is actually into the Sophia, which brings us into the priesthood of Isis. And as I said in the last video, I know a lot of fundamentalist people who have been heavily brainwashed and mind controlled by the church are going to have huge issues with this because Isis has also been inverted. We do know that Mary Magdalene as well as the mother Mary, the mother of Yahshua, as well as Mary Magdalene's mother were all a part of the priestesshood of Isis. They were all very, very magical, very, very powerful women who worked for the light. All right, these texts discovered at Nakhamadi were collectively referred to as the Gnostic Gospels because they focus on gnosis, which is a Greek term meaning self-knowledge or more specifically the knowledge that comes from direct experience. We've talked about this so much. Gnosis is the heart of the true Christian faith. It's at the heart of any spiritual study or faith is the idea of inner knowing. And the opposite of gnosis, again, is Edeo or outer knowing. So your universities, your studies, the book studies, that's all Edeo. Even reading this book and talking about it is a form of Edeo. But gnosis is inner knowing. No one can teach you gnosis. Gnosis is just as the yoga sutras say it comes at Prativa, comes at a flash of illumination. All right, the label Gnostic, though, created a misperception around these early Christian texts and Mary's Gospel got thrown into the confusion. So let's be clear. There is no such thing as Gnosticism. There wasn't a cult of organized Gnostics, these ancient texts to find. And we've talked about that again. It's just a philosophy of study. These texts, including the Gospel of Mary, are evidence of the various forms of Christianity that existed before the fifth century. When the current form of the Bible was created, basically, which we know Constantine totally like did that on purpose and changed things and threw things out. I've done a whole, whole, whole deep dive into Constantine. So please check that video out if you haven't already. I know I just made Christianity plural there. But this is what these ancient texts prove. There were many threads of Christianity in the wake of Christ. And one of those threads, let's call it a red one, believed women were as worthy as men to teach and lead the church. But this obvious, but this, but this wasn't obviously the thread that went out, basically, yes. And we know that because we know in some of the other missing Gospels, like the Gospel of the Holy 12, Jesus anointed women to teach as well. He was very revolutionary when it came to understanding that women were just as important as men. And we see a lot in the fundamentalist sex, especially in here where I live in the Southeast, these huge, like fundamentalist Baptist sex that really degrade women, basically teach women that they are not human beings, that they are basically just a walking meat suit that should be subservient to their husband, that everything they have comes through their husband, including their relationship with God. Again, I'm referring to organizations like the IBLP, which most famously was part where the Duggers from 19 Kids and Counting with Josh Duggar were part of the IBLP. We're reading Michael and Debbie Pearl's book on the Dark Outpost. They're very much a part of that fundamentalist idea where women are not important, basically. So that's what she's saying here. And I think that's what's so enlightening about the missing books of the Bible, especially the Gospel of Mary, is that everything we've been taught about women from the church was not what Yahshua taught. And that Mary herself was a part of this Christ consciousness. Again, this is the rise of the divine feminine. The divine feminine should have an equal place with the divine masculine. It shouldn't be that women are better than men or men are better than women. It's just this energy needs to be equal. Here is a curious sympathy or secrecy. Supposedly, these texts found at Nakamadi were smuggled from out of Egypt and sequestered for a while in the manuscript collection of the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. This is fascinating to me at least because young believe that the church would die without the mother and that the feminine had been submerged into our collective unconscious. He also wrote the Red Book, which is essentially his efforts to connect directly to his soul. We do know that the divine feminine correlates to the intuitive arts as well. And even though the divine feminine in the way I'm speaking about it is the role of women, we know that both women and men carry both the divine feminine and the divine masculine in them. So a man who gets in touch with his intuition, his intuitive arts is in touch with his own divine feminine. The commonality between all these early Christian sacred texts found buried in Egypt is that they spoke of this hidden, more human and feminine side of Christ of Mary Magdalene's importance and of salvation as an inward act of personal transformation. The Nag Kamadi findings were at least released to a panel of international scholars to begin to assess their import and contribution to understanding the beliefs of some of the earliest Christians. So although Mary's Gospel was found in 1896, the first print edition of her gospel wasn't published until 1955. Mary's Gospel is the only gospel written in the name of a woman that we know of. OK, I'm going to I'm going to add that in there because there are more Gospels under the Vatican that we haven't seen. So there might be more written in the name of women, but this is the only one that we know of now. A third and potentially final version of the Gospel of Mary has been found also in Greek. This is a very significant discovery as author, scholar and Harvard Divinity professor Dr. Karen King explains in her translation of Mary's Gospel because it is unusual for several coffees from such early dates to have survived. The attestation of the Gospel of Mary as an early Christian work is unusually strong. Episcopal priest and author Cynthia Wargelt claims that if Dr. King Karen is correct, that would place the Gospel of Mary Magdalene written with the earliest strata of Christian writings, roughly contemporary with the Gospel of John. This arduous and somewhat calamitous process of Mary's Gospel finally making its way into print feels significant to me. It reflects the almost magnetic reluctance of shifting our perspective about her, like the effort of what it would take for a river to change directions. And for me, it reflects the process of what it has taken me personally to share my truth about who she is and the truth about how her Gospel has impacted my life. As we make our way through each passage, Mary's Gospel contains I also include passages at the start of certain chapters from these texts, the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and the Thunder Perfect Mind because they help to contextualize Mary's Gospel. Her Gospel wasn't the one off unicorn among horses type of scripture. Reading it alongside these other Gospels and early Christian scripture allows us to see that it was a part of a community of belief. And I have read through the Gospel of Thomas and the Gospel of Philip on this channel. Again, those were some of the original Gospels we read through. So I will place those links again down in the description box below. However, I take that back. I think I'm actually just going to put the dark outpost playlist below because that is where all the missing books, the Bible that we have personally read through, including the Apocryphon of John are in that playlist. And so you can go through at your leisure and read or listen to or read along with whichever one you want to dig into as well. I have been trained as a theologian, which just means a person who engages in the study of God. Or in my case, a person who engages in the study of all that has been left out of our ideas of God. I will draw from my direct experience and illuminate each passage as far as I'm able to and also move us through the legend of Mary Magdalene herself and her misunderstood status as the pentatent prostitute to reveal a much more historically and theologically accurate version of who she was and remains. The seven powers mentioned in Mary's Gospel, darkness, craving, ignorance, craving for death, enslavement to the physical body, the false peace of the flesh, and the compulsion of rage are the precursors to Christianity's seven deadly sins, which are pride, greed, envy, gluttony, lust, sloth, and anger. And I believe they are the seven demons that Luke ate two claims were expelled from Mary, with him with the twelve as well as some woman who had been healed of wicked spirits and of infirmities. They were Mary known as Mary of Magdala from whom seven demons have been expelled. Now again, I disagree with this. We know that the book of Luke was changed by Constantine and we know that Mary was not from Magdala and we also know that she probably did not receive an exorcism from Jesus. What we now know from historical research as well as missing texts is that what was about to happen to Mary was R-A-P-E, from physical men as well as demonic attacks. And I think a lot of us who have been on the receiving end of Black Magic and of spiritual attacks understand this a lot better than what was taught to us through the manipulated and edited book of Luke. The emphasis of that passage is traditionally on the fact that Mary had been healed of those seven demons, but I like to focus on the fact that Mary was first to be listed among the women who had been healed and that walked with Christ. These are the same seven powers or demons that Pope Gregory in the sixth century proclaimed, dearest homily, 33, proved her sinfulness. For me, rather than proving how far she fell, I see the seven demons as proof of how much she overcame. And again, as I just said, I have a completely different opinion on this because I am coming from a different awakening than when this book was written. And we again, we understand that the canonized book of Bible itself cannot be trusted as far as what the information is given because of people like Constantine the Great and King James the First amongst other people. And we talk about healing. It's interesting now, and I think of like total healing. I also think of the quantum healing too that's coming with a physical body, not with the soul, but with the physical body. So when she talks about healing here, my mind kind of also goes to a different place now. It feels important, potent maybe, to make a small yet conscious effort toward reparation, to repair our idea of Mary Magdalene. I'm going to move through the seven powers she teaches about in her gospel and give my version of an homily or a sermon. And by sermon, I don't mean a formal or official one. They're more like love letters. And even though these seven powers will progress from the first to the seventh in a linear way in this book, they are meant to be understood as powers that circle back into our lives again and again for some of us several times a day. And each sermon like love letter in a way will be a chance for me to practice a Christianity that never excluded Mary's gospel, and that understood these seven powers not as demonic or sinful, but simply as human. So again, we call that these, these clashes, as we call them in yoga, they're clashes, they're obstacles. They loop back around again. We call that a samskara in yoga. It's like, if you remember the old records and you put the needle on to play the records and it would skip, or if you had a CD player back in the day, it would skip. That's like a samskara and it needs to be cleaned or healed. And so that's what Mary is pointing out. But again, as it's taught in yoga, these clashes, these are part of being human. These obstacles are not necessarily again demons, as she's saying. They're more like demonstrators. There are ways for you to find out who you truly are, if you choose to actually do the work to go through them. For the passages of Mary's gospel, I have referred to Dr. Karen King's translation from her seminal book, The Gospel of Mary Magdala, Jesus and the First Woman Apostle. For the list of the seven powers translated from Greek and Mary's gospel, I've preferred the translation of the book, The Meaning of Mary Magdalene. The Gospel of Thomas, I have used Elaine Pagel's translation from Beyond Belief, The Secret of the Gospel of Thomas. I have used a lot of Elaine Pagel's work myself in my own research. Some of you might remember, I've spoken about her a lot. I really like Elaine Pagel's lectures and her research as someone who's like in the matrix as far as the university system. Elaine Pagel has a really, really good head on her shoulders and she's very, very grounded from what I see of her work into the reality versus what's just taught in the narrative. And I have used Orthodox Theologian John Eves Lepu translation of the Gospel of Philip from his book, Jesus Mary Magdalene and the Gnosis of the Sacred Union. Any passages from the New Testament that I quote or refer to are from Dr. Howell's A New New Testament, a Bible for the 21st century combining traditional and newly discovered text. I came across the quote that opens this chapter from the thunder perfect mind in my early 20s before I found Mary's gospel, but in many ways it led me to it. I read, I am a whore and I'm a holy one and my whole body applauded. I have to brace myself against the bookshelf from the shock and extreme relief I felt in the corner of the bookstore where I couldn't stop inhaling it. I had no idea what God was or what. I had no clue that I would soon be devoting my life to a feminist theology, but everything in me knew this is what I had been missing. I laugh at that because I have read a lot and I grew up a lot in what they call purity culture, especially in the evangelical churches and this is what they teach a lot in fundamentalist churches where women are basically defined by their sexuality and you are taught to fear sex until you are married. It is like if you are to do anything before marriage then you are just not pure anymore and so I'm laughing at her saying this this quote I am a whore and a holy woman because it takes away the evil of purity culture because purity culture is downright disgusting and evil. This voice was raw and contradictory and powerful and paradoxal. It made so much sense to me I wanted to scream sincerely for the first time in my life hallelujah. I didn't understand why but finding this voice made these crazy rivulets of joy, these electric currents of energy raced through me. My eyes read and reread I am she the Lord. And now we're going into we can't half-ass death so again that I am she I am the Lord that goes back to my theory that Mary Vandalin was the second half of the Christ consciousness. And I'll go on to say my friend Stephanie from spiritual perspectives of our great awakening has brought up in the book of Revelation it talks about I am the alpha and the omega. There are multiple places even in the canonized bible where it's referring to two halves of the Christ consciousness not just one the masculine and the feminine I'm the alpha and the omega. So this brings us to the next section we can't half-ass death every nature every moduled form every creature exists and with each other and that is actually from the book of Mary 2-2. I set up in the middle of the night several years ago scrolling through the internet like it had secrets to reveal to me. I clicked through an article about a seed bank that's very deep in the mountains in Norway. Supposedly there are over 800 thousand varieties of seed from plants to trees to fruits and vegetables. It is the world's reserve in case of mass destruction. Almost every country in the world has made a deposit but only one has made a withdrawal and that only recently, Syria. The war has so devastated the land that they needed to ask the world's reserve for some seeds to start again. It fascinated and horrified me at the same time that a seed bank in case of world destruction would be needed. That we need to have a backup plan to safeguard ourselves against what we've forgotten how dependent we are on each other and the planet. But I also imagine walking through row after row of all those seeds the magnitude of all that potential. The mountain vault might as well be holding bars of gold. Seeds are the precursor to currency. They are the original coin and it felt inescapably hopeful that I stumbled upon this scary and interesting fact. I resonated with needing to start over or wanting to begin again. Actually, I didn't want to start over who does. I just knew I was at an end. I mean how poignant is that for us now? We have to start over. We're at the end. We're at the end of the old timeline and we're coming into the new timeline. This is why I don't actually now believe that the Magdalene and the Christ or Joshua, the two Christ, are here right now in human form. Because I don't believe we're entering into the apocalypse. I believe we're actually in a post-apocalyptic world right now and I think that the Yeshua and the Magdalene, the incarnates of that energy will take human form again after the ascension. And actually if I'm getting a little bit more graphic and I know some people are going to not want to hear this, I actually now believe that their conception will be what kicks off the true ascension for humanity, that vibration that happens. If you know what I mean is what's that conception is what's going to actually push us into starting the new timeline and ascending for humanity and then their birth will come obviously nine months later. So I know that might sound crazy for a few people but and I might change my mind on that I don't know but that's just kind of what I'm getting right now from my research and it's an interesting point of discussion. So again my mind might change later on but for now that's kind of where I'm that's what I'm kind of thinking right now. So every nature, every modeled form, every creature exist and with each other. This is how the Gospel of Mary opens after the initial missing pages and I am not sure if there was ever a more eloquent way to describe love. It is not a love we've seen in practice very often, sometimes in moments of crisis but it's a love that renders us all equal. It's a love that says I am not separate from you. We exist in and with each other. It's a love that reaches everything and everyone. If we all exist in and with each other then we are all connected. Now this again goes back to the whole twin flame thing that we've been speaking about a lot especially with Taylor and Stephanie. Now on Twitter a while ago I posted that there is a theory that the 144,000 spoken about in the book of Revelation are twin flames and so 72 are women, 72 are men, are embodied women and men and they've been around since the beginning and I believe that the conception of Mary and Joshua in the beginning also ignited that that connection of twin flame. I also believe that Mary and Joseph were twin flames as well as Mary Magdalene's parents. I think I know who Mary Magdalene's father was. He is a character in the Bible. I'm not ready to come forward with that yet because I still need to verify some things and I'm pretty sure I know who her mother was even though her mother was also not mentioned in the Bible as well. Her mother was through the priestesshood of ISIS too and her father was a very powerful leader in Egypt in that time. So there's all this idea of twin flame and twin flames are also coming back now. Now a lot of times twin flames do engage in a romantic relationship but sometimes they don't and we've said that before sometimes twin flames don't involve a sexual relationship. That's rare though usually they do and it is my understanding that twin flames are the same soul just living in two different bodies one of the divine feminine and one of the divine masculine. Now with that being said Taylor has said this very eloquently just because you have a twin flame does not mean that you are not complete without your twin flame. You are complete, you are absolutely complete but the passion and the love that you have for your twin flame when you find that person will be like none other. It's extremely intense and a lot of times twin flames will not find each other until later in life because they have made that agreement to go on separate journeys to really work on themselves as individuals so when they come together magically whatever work that is whether that's romantically or not it will be even more powerful because the two are in their own autonomy in their own sovereignty as individuals understanding who they are to each other as well. It's all freaking wild but it's all just so magical and so fantastic and so one thing that we have noticed is one thing that the dark group the dirty bunch has tried to do is have tried to divide up twin flames tried to keep them separate from each other again most of the time they're not they don't come on to this earth knowing each other are are leading at a young age they they meet later in life normally and again that is done intentionally so that they can work on themselves as individuals but the devil does take advantage of that evil does take advantage of that and will try because of that reason to keep people apart and a lot of people are struggling this with this right now I've many people who have found their twin flames are being kept apart from that person for a particular reason but just know it's because that energy together is very powerful these are the energies that brought in the Mags on the Christ the first time so that goes back to my theory about this time as well if that makes sense again some people might think I'm crazy for saying that my opinion might change but that's just kind of where I am on my own research again this is more of research from books and also more psychedelic understanding of the spiritual realm there is no stranger no immigrant no alien no other I was realizing as I was wide awake yet again at 3 a.m that being fiercely independent only gets us so far and it's actually a good sign when an when in an old way we're operating in a world comes to an end but it doesn't feel good at all it feels like anxiety attacks or drinking too much or insomnia or watching tv like we'll get paid for it or a little bit of already above which is how I was handling it so yeah independence only gets you so far I consider myself to be extremely independent but I do also like having a partner I do also like sharing my life with someone even though as a woman I can take care of myself I do also like feeling the protection from a man sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better I felt like this is an adage I cling to it it's true to the same degree that you can't half ass death what we have to die all the way to be dead and this is what scares us about it it's finality but in life this is just the way it is you have to die all the way before you can resurrect as Cindy says you have to descend before you can ascend we know as I've talked about there's a lot of black magic going on right now apparently black magic is way more common than I have given it credit for in the past but sometimes people are having to be pulled into these this dark night of the soul in order to actually hit rock bottom and come back out of it again and that's what she's saying here that's what Cindy said you have to descend to ace it you have to hit rock bottom in order to understand who you truly are okay so for me when things got worse when I was moving every other year to afford rent until I found myself isolated out in the woods which felt like the wilderness after city living in a tiny in tiny apartments for most of my life the fourth move with my little man my seven-year-old son and I was awake night after night because being alone in the house unsettled old trauma from dormant to a palpable terror I dreaded going to sleep I understand that I've lived in a city most of my life and every time I'm in a small town I get really freaked out by the darkness by the sound because I always hear things there's always some light coming into my room here or noises always happening as much as I tried I couldn't reason with my nervous system I would hear noise while I was asleep and I'd shoot up in bed like a meerkat and able to relax for the rest of the night I was exhausted I was exhausted not just from lack of sleep it was from all the energy it took to remain blind to what I could almost see that night but not quite it was standing right behind me like Jason in his hockey mask from Friday the 13th I needed to go home to Cleveland and she writes Hugh horror music I could afford to stay till then and I would have my family to help me but then I would also have to come face to face with why I had left left home in the first place and so now I'll tell you what I heard later that night after reading about the world's seed bank just don't judge me or try not to actually I can't ask you that because I judged it when I heard it I felt one of those sinking sensations as if my whole body responded fuck in slow motion I was lying there in bed frozen again like a wide-eyed meerkat because I had just heard a loud very suspicious noise from the basement and maybe you've had a nice like that too or some version of it when seemingly beyond your control your mind starts making a moral inventory of all your shortcomings of all those times when you now realize you should have said yes but said no and the opposite all those knows as if there was a way to not end up here as if there could have been a choice that would have led you to the expectation you had for your life then for this quick but clear millisecond I realized that this was a state of mind that have become my default I realized I was in prison in prison again in this onslaught of judgment I wasn't actually there in my room but trapped inside my thoughts and in this millisecond I saw all the comments I've been making about myself about still being single and isolated and lonely and disconnected and anxious and literally in the dark and I realized it was like listening to the comments of a crazy online troll every night I was getting in bed with poop emojis slinging troll tearing apart where I am right now and why I'm not where I thought I would be and the troll was me I said a prayer and what I mean by prayer is I finally took a breath I realized how trapped I was and how I'd become bound and overrun by what a course in miracles refers to as the tiny mad ideas of the ego and I got that is exactly what a demon is I took the first breath and I let it just anchor me in my heart every nature every module form every creature exist and with each other I felt my love for my son and I let that love which contains unflattering forgiveness extend to me as I found so often my love for him teaches me how to love myself how to let the love reach me within me where it has never been before and then I took another breath and I imagined with that second breath that it lit this stubby little candle in my heart and then I asked with a minuscule almost impergulate amount of space and light carved out what the hell do I do now I've been there I've absolutely been there and everything again she's saying here is everything we talk about in the yoga sutras so again if you're not falling along with the yoga sutras that is also in the dark outpost playlist as well these hot heavy tears dropped from my eyes because being that close to what I was actually feeling hurt and it felt good too and the honesty in it then I heard the answer but again I don't want to freak you out when I say I heard the answer it's not a voice from the intercom at target or on an airplane there's no comparison actually it's a sound that never reaches the ears having it come from within them it's a voice that comes from silence and I know that seems contradictory but maybe because you're reading this you already know what I mean I think we all know what she means so the third breath I took I took with my whole body my lungs filled like gills billowed out beyond my rib cage and just shifted the weight of everything because I heard within me in that voice that's more of an experience than a sound the answer of what's next for me give to me what you cannot carry and maybe that seems really basic elemental but it's changed everything for me and the reason why the reason why it felt like my whole system was responding to that answer with a loud, bolding, f**king slow motion is because as simple as that line sounds I knew it meant starting over for me it's really powerful and I think we've all been there multiple times in our life and I know a lot of us are about to completely start over again I know that that's looming for a lot of us is that f**k that completely starting over again and so I think most of us can relate to what she's saying here and I love that give to me what you cannot carry a few months ago as most of you know I was going through a severe attack because of some black magic and that is kind of the message that I got when I made contact with like my off-worlder family my guides was that give to me what you cannot carry that help was extended and it's kind of like what Catherine Edwards and I talked about this whole idea I told you guys that my sister taught her son, my nephew when he was a toddler when he was learning how to talk and he would get frustrated because he couldn't quite explain things my sister taught Charlie to say help please just say help please and that calmed him down and he could give the toy or whatever it was was frustrating him to his mom or to me as Anne or his dad or grandma or whoever help please and just to give that help and that's something we can all reach out for because we all are connected help please give to me what you cannot carry starting over is very scary a lot of us are going to be starting over very soon but give to God to your guides to your source what you cannot carry starting over isn't it exactly it's more like becoming aware of what I've always known it's nearing a closer proximity of what's actually true for me I guess it's about integrity in that moment I understood I had the power to start all over which just means to recognize what has been true for me as long as I can remember give to me what you cannot carry what's asking me to start again now with what I had always known and sensed that there is so much more here unseen that I could be counting on leaning on trusting that I exist in and with a presence that is the silence this tiny space with this stubby little candle here in my heart what I mean is and I'm realizing I'm the only one who's freaked out to admit this give to me what you cannot carry came in the voice and the presence I recognize it's a love that's never left me a love that I could not seem to either reconcile or reject but now I knew I had to I knew I would have to tell this story the story of the Christ I've met with because of Mary's Gospel I knew that the only way forward and through would be to die to who I thought Christ was die to what I thought it meant to be a Christian and actually begin to figure it out what it means to me and it's interesting she talks about the heart here because we're talking a lot about now that the heart center opening as we go into fourth density positive planet fifth dimension consciously and I've said a lot of people who will have to leave are not ready for that they still want to be in third density and something that's fascinating too is that when people do like black magic for example a lot of times spell work works with the mind it confuses people and their thoughts but it can never penetrate the heart the heart always knows and so when you're dealing with things like love spells which are a form of black magic if you're trying to put a love spell on someone and change their free will you are doubling in black magic because you are interfering with someone's own consent but a lot of times love spells will mess with this person's thoughts and that's why the person who has the spell put on them will still continue to have feelings for their true soulmate their true partner their true twin flame if you will if that's what it is but the head will be confusing them because of the spell the head will cause them to do things that aren't of nature of them to be abusive to that person or to choose to be with the person that's not their connection because of the head the thoughts in the head but yet the heart is still going towards the truth it's the same thing what she's saying here the heart always knows even when you're dealing with your own gnosis the heart always knows your gut always knows you always know all right so this is going to take us to the first power which on my book comes on page 11 which is darkness so again this is her sermon or her love letter what we have forgotten if i could start over from the beginning i would start with the most invisible the threads of the web of our ecosystem that are rarely named much less revered i would start by listening to the names of the trees the flowers the seeds that carry the light that gives us life because this is what we have forgotten this is where our reverence has not been reached so awesome because that's what we've been talking about on this channel is that light you know genesis one three god said let there be light he did not mean light for you to see outside of your body he meant the divine spark within you god said let there be a divine spark that is the one thing that the devil can't take away is that divine spark and she's seeing that that this is where we need to go back to is to that spark and everything has that spark the trees the grass your pets your animals all have that spark i would start with frankincense and mirth with the baswalia and the karmifora trees that made them i would start with the honeybee and the sweet essential neck dirt feeds on i would start first with what goes unnoticed with what we haven't realized is the most sacred among us i would start with the names of everyone we've excluded of the street children of the millions slowly starving to death in plain daylight i would start with the outsiders the outcast i would start with every one of us who thinks we aren't worthy of love just as we are i would say each of their names each of our names who have been made into objects who have been violated who have had to survive by leaving the body altogether i would list the names of all the mothers who have known the unspeakable joy of gradually needing life inside within her of bringing life from the dark into the light the mothers who have no idea where their heart is anymore now that it's also outside of them the mothers who remind us no matter who we are that our first country was a woman's body and our first element was water and our first reality was darkness because the woman's body is a portal and you think about the divine feminine of the mother of the mother that has to watch her children go through pain and to watch that happen and that that that life that comes out of them you know of Mary Magdalene's mother who saw her daughter become the second half of the Christ who saw her daughter give birth to the child of the Christ of the Virgin Mary the mother Mary who gave birth to Yahshua that's powerful that's where it all comes back through is through the uterus really the womb the mother's womb if i could write the beginning it would be the light it would be the womb as she's saying now in a dark in the dark in a cave in an egg it would be the name of all that have left out of what's holy the blood the body nothing real or imagined has ever happened without it if i could start again i would install an altar within me i would place the most sacred object inside of it my own heart if i could start again i would know that the only cathedral i've ever needed to find to enter a return to again and again is the humble red hermitage this mystical space that holds all the answers i would begin again inside my heart and i would live this way speaking from it if i could start over i would begin with her i would list all of their names first as an indoctrination i've forgotten lineage this is isis kuan yen niel shen mother mary sarila kali perpetua dona vark i would start with the other hidden half the story the voices that were burned in deserts and caves the ones that were burned at the stake the ones that were so threatening because hearing their voices would mean letting our love reach where it has never been before to all of us to our creation to the least among us to the trees and the flowers to the honeybee that feeds them to the frankincense and mirth to the bark and the dirt to the land itself where the world was first spoken if i could begin again it would be with her love because this is what has been forgotten this is what we need to remember most that she could hear him meet him from within her own heart that she had so much to teach us that her love for him taught her i would start with her love because this was the bridge this is the bridge this is how we move the story of what it means to be human ford we hear from her about what her love made possible if i could start again it would be in the darkness and in the darkness all we could see is the hands suddenly extending out towards us the invitation would be terrifying seeing this hand would compel our heart to start beating rapidly, audibly the fear comes from feeling out of control we want to leave and we want to stay in equal measure we want to know what might happen next and for everything to remain exactly the same taking this hand is the choice to surrender surrendering it all all the fear all the hurt the anger and the ego that created it if i could start again i would start with mary magdalene because she is the one who remembers him the christ i know my heart all right guys i did not expect to get that emotional but um what what a powerful love letter she wrote there and and for me personally that does um resonate with a lot of uh what we've been learning with this great awakening as i mentioned the whole twin flame thing the idea that we have that light side of us that we are all connected and we are all one and so that is so powerful and the fact that mary was the twin of yashua she was the one who loved him the most that twin flame power no one will ever love you like your twin flame will love you you know like like a mother with her child it's that deep deep passionate connection and through her love of yashua she taught us and i'm so happy she mentioned entities like isis because that was also part of mary magdalene's understanding as well as yasha was understanding because his own mother was a part of that priesthood as well and again that divine feminine that intuitive arts that also goes to that unconditional love that the mother has for her child that love that meets no bounds that love that we all need to feel again as we move into this new timeline the love that was taken from us polluted inverted through this dark bunch but mary is back again and she's here to teach us what we have forgotten and i'm so excited you guys are doing this journey with me please leave me your thoughts down in the comment section below regarding the sections that we cover today obviously next week we'll pick up with the next section i hope that you guys are all reading through this slowly with me if you're journaling about your feelings as you're reading this i would if you want to share some of those thoughts with us please leave them in the comment section below obviously this is all very personal for a lot of people so if you don't feel comfortable sharing that's totally fine too absolutely fine there's a lot that i keep personal myself so so that's totally fine but anyway thank you guys again for going on this journey with me as i said in part one in the beginning i do dedicate this series to my two nieces jacklyn and may their little girls jacklyn is seven may is still a baby i dedicate this series to them hopefully they will be growing up in a world where they will never be diminished for being a woman and to all the little girls out there carry that essence of the magdalene within them and to all the girls yet to be the daughters who have yet to come including any daughters that i may have in the future i hope that through this series and through rediscovering the magdalene that our world will come a far more loving and caring and compassionate place