 Rolla Tomasi, I'm guest introducing another guest here at the 21 convention of 2017. This is the 10 year anniversary and I wanted to take the time to bring on the next speaker here. This is Hunter Drew and he's a guy that I have been in contact with and just have sort of had a discourse and a relationship really with for the last about year and a half and he was actually one of the inspirations for my third book, The Positive Masculinity, Read the Rational Male Positive Masculinity and I just wanted to take the time to bring this guy on because he's just a fantastic guy and he really represents a side of the red pill that I think is really kind of under represented right now and he has taken red pill principles, red pill awareness and really turned it into a dialogue for the married man, for the family man. That's why he goes by the family alpha. His website is the family alpha and without further ado let's bring on Hunter Drew. Well good morning gentlemen. I am Hunter Drew. That's a very humbling introduction. I hope to rise up to the expectation that he's set. So this is kind of a two part speech I'm going to give you. This is going to be a little bit about me and this is going to be a little bit about us. Now some of you know me and my site and most of you don't. So hopefully by the end of this I'll plan to deceit in your mind that maybe you know give you a little different perspective than what you had before. So this is my first presentation ever so hopefully I'm hoping to set that bar high. Nerves are running but that's fine I can feel my heartbeat and my teeth. It's fucking awesome. So a little bit about myself. You know we're all coming from different areas in life. I met my wife in high school she was my girlfriend. We did that thing. I was married at 21. I had my first kid at 22. I had my second kid at 25. Here I am at 30. I'm 30 years old. I've got an 8 year old boy and a 5 year old girl and I'm standing in front of a bunch of motivated masculine men who are living their own lives and worth if they're married you know you have an LTR you're single you're a playboy. There's something that connects all of us and that's something that I've been fighting for from the family side since the beginning. You know I couldn't relate to the pickup artist. I'm not here to talk to you about that. You know I had a girlfriend at high school and then we got married after my first deployment. How can I talk to you about approaching a girl you know in the club. That's not my skill set. A lot of you guys are here because you want to work with women. You want to be able to get what you want from women. I can help you with that because there are parts of men that is universal. You know we judge our men on merit. We shouldn't be judging them on the relationship status. What is a man doing. Whether a man is married whether a man is spinning you know he's got five girlfriends whether he's got one or whether he wants to be single to the grave. You can learn something from everybody and that's what I'm trying to represent that side of it today is you need to see everybody brings something to the table you know everybody brings something you can learn from. Every single person I've met I've learned something from them and I'm a speaker you know I'm supposed to be providing this great quality content and I'm learning just as much as everybody else out here and it's pretty fantastic and everybody's different perspective makes you a more well-rounded individual. So you know I've caught flak you know I've been hey you're a cuck because you're married oh okay man you're judging me because I'm married so that makes me a loser. Let's go on and let me tell you the things I've done. I'm living an authentic life. I'm living the life I chose. I didn't get we have fucking fantastic sex. You know I I've been married for almost 10 years and we're still fucking like porn stars that doesn't just happen and a lot of guys are like how the fuck did you get to that point. I never made my wife I never made a girl I never made anybody else my mission. My mission was mine and it's never changed. Now I wasn't always this way there were like everybody else has come up there were defining moments in my life and we're going to cover a few of them and at the end of it you'll kind of see the picture that that made me who I am and kind of help maybe apply that to improving yourself to who it is that you want to be. So we're going to cover the history to this stage. In high school I was the nicest of nice guys. I would try to out nice guy the nice guy you know you wrote two love letters I'd write five you want to talk about your feelings guess what I'll cry you know what we'll talk I don't give a fuck you know I'm going to I'm going to be the because that's what we're supposed to be that's what we're supposed to do we're supposed to fit that narrative that was told to us I've seen all the movies you know who won the guy who shared his feelings the guy who always put himself last put everybody else first they won I want to be that guy I want to win so I'm going to be super fucking nice and I didn't really get you know the perks that those here is we're getting now I'm a very conflicted soul I was also on the football team I had a lot of manly friends you know a lot of masculine shit that we were just going out lifting weights doing our thing and that side of me is how I got my girlfriend you know I saw a hot cheerleader I was like yo what's up you've got a huge ass I fucking love it and that's kind of how it started she was gorgeous and I just wanted I was like oh my god and we started dating and again I was still a nice guy but I had these very you know you call them alpha characteristics alpha traits I had those two that was a part of me I grew up my father was a navy man so it was a very strict structure you know work ethic you could not outwork me I'm not the smartest guy in this room and I don't have any problems saying that I'm not I don't have the highest IQ that's out there but I will outwork any motherfucker in this room because I just don't stop I do I am relentless when I want something so I compensate for you know I stand or I've been thrown earlier and he's like fucking a giant I look like a god damn midget but I'm bringing a presence you know I'm expressing myself I'm talking loud and it's not to compensate it's because I fucking believe in what I'm saying every word that's coming out of my mouth is authentic there is no show and that's something that's going to be a running theme that's the other part of this you're learning about me now but next gonna learn a bit a little bit about yourself so also in high school I was the genius on the five-year plan guess what didn't have the highest IQ told him a fucking idiot I didn't give a shit I just I had no I had a lot of energy but it was all going in the wrong direction it wasn't going towards achieving any goals it wasn't going towards making myself better it was just going out into the fucking universe for free and I was just giving it away then I decided to join the Navy because that's what my family does you know from a very young age I felt you serve the country that grants you your freedoms it was never even a question I knew what I was doing so at 19 years old I joined the Navy and I would say that's when the red pill went down my fucking throat that they that little shift in perspective that minuscule you know just changing your mindset your perspective just that much changed my life forever and forever I'll for I'm forever indebted to the Navy because of what they did for me I went to boot camp and they beat my ass and they just fucking told me like you're not special and guess what if you keep acting like a nice guy you're gonna you're gonna fucking fail you're gonna lose we don't want nice guys we want men I was like what the fuck you know and I look back I was like what where the fuck is this coming from this is an entirely different narrative here's a story I hadn't heard yet so they fixed my fucking mind I had a successful eight-year career in the Navy and like I said forever indebted they did everything they said they would do for me and I gave them everything I had to give in that time now during that time my wife was still my girlfriend and we were looking at marriage because I also always knew just like joining the Navy I wanted kids I wanted the family it was never a thought to me and I never thought of you know being a pickup artist I never thought of being a professional athlete I wanted to be a dad you know I just I had a huge family and I wanted the son of my own and one of the daughter I wanted that was my vision for my life so that's what I made happen so I had the girlfriend and then before I married her I said you've got to go through a deployment I was like I'm not gonna be one of those fucking schmucks and like I said after boot camp when I came home I was an entirely different dude you know she saw a different side of me that was never there before and she's like holy fuck like of course she's gonna ride along with me because she saw what I was going to become she saw the authentic you know expression of masculine energy that I was giving out to the world so she latched on and she was all about it and like I said we our relationship it's fantastic a lot of guys have a lot of difficulties with their wives and I'm not staying before you today as one of those men I've made my marriage I've made that relationship work throughout these years that's not to say I mean I can get divorced raped as easily as the next guy I know what's there but I also know how to maintain it I also know that as long as I'm setting that bar that all of the men will be measured to I win and if another dude comes in and swoops her well fuck good on him because that's a high fucking bar so he's got to be a fucking motivated individual and she's a wife of fucking two kids who's picking her up she's mine like fuck so I went for I deployed came back we got married we had my son and I knew it was gonna be a boy because I knew I want a boy you know I was like I'm we're having a son and just like that as soon as we wanted the kid and she got pregnant you know time goes on I deployed again I missed a lot of his life I missed his first steps and I'll share a story with you that's punches me in the heart every time I'm going on my second deployment and I'm saying bye to the family we're in New England I had to fly down to Virginia and then like the week later I was gone I was gone for six or seven months I touched the door to leave I've said bye to everybody I've given the hugs and kisses I grab the door to walk out to get to the taxi and my son says dad he says his first word in his life as I'm leaving that fucking house and I'm like come back pick him up give my big-ass hug and I'm like God damn it so I'm gone I disappear for close to a year and I'm fucking you know first steps those major milestones my wife does the best she can do she captures it for me but there's nothing as you're seeing today when you remove that medium the message is a lot more clear you know we're talking in person we're shaking hands when we can sit and share a meal that message of deliverance of what it is that we're talking about it hits you a little bit more the vibrations given off or received a little bit stronger and you understand a different aspect to it that you might not have understood if I had told you if I had sent you an email you know and fuck having that moment with him you know it was fucking huge and being away having her capture those moments and send them to me it wasn't quite the same and I realized then I was like I can't do this you know I was gonna be you know retired with a pension at fucking 49 I was gonna just live my open a juice bar a scuba dive shop and fucking somewhere warm and just chill but that changed when I grabbed that door handle and I heard his fucking word and she sent me books you know hey eating his first birthday cake hey you know his first steps you know these first doctors appointments these major milestones in my son's life I missed because I was dedicated to my mission and I don't regret what I did that was my mission that was my calling life and I fulfilled it my duty to my country it goes it goes country then family that's the order that's how I felt and it's it's like I said I'm a conflicted soul there's a part of me that wanted to be downrange like I was in the military to deploy I was not there to be home that was not my purpose that's not what I wanted to do I had to be out there bring the fight to the enemy but then there's the dad and there's a kid who shares my blood who when he cries for his dad I'm not there that fucking sucked so I come back up to the second deployment and I get short duty so that's three years where I don't have to deploy during that time we had my daughter the most beautiful feminine thing in the world you know I never thought I could love something so much I love her so much more than my son it's ridiculous I'm just kidding if you ever see this I'm just fucking kidding holy shit if my kid ever needs to watch these videos I fucked up so he is I do my three years and I'm like you know it's time to go I'm I literally when I walked out of the hallway after telling my you know Korean master chief my gunnery started I was with the Marines at that time telling them that I was done I walked past photos myself I was the instructor of the year in the sale of the year I was a shoe in to make chief which is a very high honor in the Navy you know that's a big milestone on the listed side and it was easy I could have cake walked to eat but that's you don't do what's easy you do what's right so I did what was right what was right was for me to fill that role I decided to fill if you don't want to be a father don't be a fucking father you don't have to do it because someone wants you to do it is no expectation that you reproduce that's your decision to make but if you do make it commit yourself to it and do it right don't have children and leave them behind they need you they need that balance masculine and feminine you know earlier I remember who was but they were talking about actually I think it was Richard Cooper how you set the standard from which she's going to measure other men for your daughter you said what a man is you determine what masculinity is you know you talk about daddy issues there's multiple areas of daddy issues that girls can have the dad who wasn't there the dad who was there but he didn't do his job he was very apathetic and just he let the wife read them and then you've got you know the family alpha which I could go back I would change the name but you've got the man who's pursuing goals living his life but at the same time he's making his children a part of that my children are a part of my mission they're not my mission they're walking it with me though they're a part of it and it's a huge part of who I am and that's what led to me creating my blog is I did feel it was under represented so I got out of the Navy started doing my thing and when I got out I realized I was living in a fucking bubble you know in the military you have to maintain certain physical standards and the guys that I was with they were top tier dudes you know we've got real motivated guys you know we'd lift together we'd party together our wives would get together so all the men will go out and do some stupid shit and come back bloody and muddy and fucking nasty and the wives would have cake and fucking shit ready for us to go it was like it's like out of a fucking story it was a good fucking life in those I'm still in contact with all those men today they are and I view them to be my brothers and there's if they called me right now I would leave this convention to go to them because that's how important they are in my life and this is incredibly important in my life as well that's just how it goes when I got out a lot of a lot of dads are struggling a lot of men are struggling a lot of people are having a hard time finding their spot in life they don't have that drive they don't have that mission they don't have that flame that's burning and you can't put it out because you have to answer it or else it's gonna fucking explode and destroy you so you vent it out if I didn't write I would go insane I have to get it out of my head that's why right if a lot of writers would understand that so I turned to Google I was like what the fuck is going on why the fuck are dads fat what the fuck is a dad bod you know why is everything dad negative what why is a dad joke negative why is dad bod negative why is everything father negative why when you watch TV is everything about a father the fucking imbecile why is the family guy you know why people emulating Peter Griffin why are they emulating Homer Simpson why are these people saying that the father figure is a waste of fucking space and he's just a fucking joke who started who thought this is a good fucking idea so I found the red pill they answered my fucking question so I joined red pill when it had 500 and something fucking guys and now it has over 250,000 or something like that that's fucking incredible and that's fucking amazing and it's fucking needed because there is a need for this you don't have to relate to everything about the red pill this that's not what it's about it's not about making the red pill your life red pill is one aspect to masculinity it's just sexual strategy that's one aspect to it you should use it does that job very well it gets rid of the fucking you find comfort in the discomfort of reality it's not the easiest thing to know how women work why women work fucking role of talking about hypergamy that's a motherfucker when that part of the pillow dissolves and you're like fuck you know she left me because I wasn't better that that guy was better than me that's why this happened that sucks nobody likes to lose I fucking hate losing I'm too competitive I've gotten into a fistfight over checkers because I was getting my ass kicked checkers now on deployment testosterone levels are fucking high so you know you've got that going but god damn like nobody wants to lose when you finally realized you lost because you didn't try hard enough that sucks that sucks a lot but it is what it is you got to move forward so from the red pill I shifted gears when married red pills opened now married red pill is the red pill it was kind of like it's a branch off but it's for the married men it's different when you've got to reinvent yourself you've got to come up with a strategy to game a woman who you've been with for possibly two decades you've got to fix yourself in front of her eyes and she's watching every brick you take out every brick you put in she's watching always watching always testing always asking the questions always looking for comfort always wondering why why are you improving what are you looking for you better than me fuck you've got to restructure your entire relationship and marriage in front of this woman's eyes and try to make it new and fresh like I said I don't lack in sex I don't lack in quality quantity frequency fucking it's fucking fantastic I'm having a blast how did that happen it was always new I never treated her like my wife she is my wife I love her to death there's a reason that rings on her finger but she's my lover she is she is a woman I don't view her as my wife I did not get the girl she is a woman and I've got to treat her accordingly every day my feet touch the floor I start gaming her I start flirting escalating keynote teesner a different day I might just fucking ghost her hey I've got shit to do we're not fucking hanging out it keeps that there if you're always available she doesn't want you she already has you you got a pull you got to push there's a balance to marriage there's a balance to all relationships and that goes with men women whomever you can't make yourself entirely received you know they can't have absorbed all of you because you're not interesting you're boring fuck she knows everything about you but what if you take a little bit of that away what if you start inventing the side of yourself individually what if as two individuals you are improving in yourself and you're also improving together you know it's not all about I'm fuck the wife I'm gonna go do my thing now she's a part of it she's definitely a part of my life she's a part of my mission we do things together but I'm also trying to develop myself I'm going to shit like this like she doesn't want me gone for a week but there she wasn't in the decision-making Anthony offered and I said fuck yes you know because this is my mission this is my passion this is why I write it's why I do what I do I fucking love it and I'm really trying hard right now to put a governor on what it is I'm saying because if you've ever seen a periscope where I'm cruising to my Jeep you know I'm just cruising the Jeep I got my phone here and shoot out periscope which is much easier than what we're doing right now like holy fuck I can go on and on I start to lose myself to the emotion because I'm passionate you know somebody was talking about empathy the other day I like it fucking sucks the pain men are feeling you know just because I'm not suffering doesn't mean I don't understand another man who is suffering I have suffered in my life I've got you know I've taken my hits and I can relate to that guy who's emailing me in the middle of the fucking night saying hey man I she fucking she's gone what do I do I lost my purpose in life they're a night I can't fucking sleep because I'm just shooting it's shit with these guys I can't tell you how many fucking emails I've had just yesterday because I didn't have my phone on me it started building up and these guys are talking about you know hey like tell me their different story I relate to it I never tell them what to do every speaker you're going to see up here we cannot tell you what to do if you're in a hole if you feel that you're struggling you're stuck in the mold of find that was built by everybody else and they forced you into it we can't pull you out but we can throw you a rope by attending this you're saying I want out you're saying I'm not dead I want to fight back and I'm not gonna fucking die in this goddamn hole and every speaker here saying here's a fucking rope you have to grab it you've got to fucking climb out and it sucks it's hard your muscles are going to get tired where you're pulling out of that fucking hole but you've got to keep going because when you're at the top fucking you're free you're no longer trying to live according to somebody else's you know standard not trying to live the life that they want you to live you're not trying to be the guy you think people will like but you're being yourself that's what happens you gotta the whole and from there you make a decision you throw rope to somebody else you write blog podcast where a lot of the speakers here are doing or you just go live your life which a lot of men are doing as well you don't really hear about the guys who are successful living their own lives because they don't need to go online and talk about it they're just living life there's an entire difference but for a few once you get out and you just see how great it is and you see how like fucking happy you are and the joy that you feel you can't help but want to give that to another so you throw that fucking rope you know when I was brought on stage by rollo he heavily influenced my work he helped me understand my wife better which made my marriage better by understanding women you know you know what to do you know why they're acting when she's a total fucking douchebag to me I'm just like oh you're just fucking like you're you're just a chick like I'm not taking the shit serious you're mad you maybe you're frustrated right now ignore hey come back I got a fucking sandwich in front of me like what the fuck happened I you know I didn't feed into the bullshit and then she responded it's fucking ridiculous so like I said the red pill and married red pill that's not the entirety you know and I started writing posts on the subreddit that weren't received well because they weren't about sexual strategy guys are like why the fuck are you sharing this this is about fatherhood why are you sharing this this is about how to you know keep joy and you know relations in marriage that's this is about sexual strategy I was like well that fucking that's not what I want to talk about I want to talk about masculinity I want to talk about the entire man we're at a conference right now talking about the ideal man that's the fuck I wanted to be a part of the red pills a part of that it was not the entire picture so as I'm getting blasted and fucking read it I created my own blog and I started writing and I started talking it's there's three parts to it there's masculinity which is a third of my content there's marriage that's a second third and there's fatherhood because that's what makes me me and it goes in that order I am a man before I'm a brother a son a husband a father I am a man an individual masculine as fuck man and I'm going to express that and that's the first thing you are I don't identify as a fucking father I don't identify as a husband I am those things I make those things fantastic and those are titles I wear with honor I take pride in them but they don't define the path I live I live my path at my version of fatherhood my version of being a husband I make it mine because that's what we all have to do I live authentically and that's all this is about now from the blog I started go I went on to Twitter and I started this program called men of March and that was a fucking game changer and I think that's the reason I'm here today that shit was about for 31 days rebuilding yourself on the various aspects of manhood of masculinity of just being who you are of authentic living so in men of March guys fucking flooded my followers like quadrupled I went from like 1000 to 3000 fucking all these guys are sharing it the hashtag is fucking going around and my inbox is blowing up I went to bed at midnight I was like fuck you gotta just go to sleep and fucking tired I checked all my notifications I woke up at five I had 314 notifications of guys just saying hey I'm fucking on board let's fucking do this we need to reinvent it and I was like what the fuck there's a goddamn need for fixing yourself guys want to be a part of something but not only a part of something they want to be collectively a part of something they want to fix themselves where a bunch of other dudes are fixing themselves at the same time it's a similar concept to bootcamp it I couldn't complain about getting my ass kicked because the other fucking 50 dudes are getting their ass kicked to wait it sucked for all of us and men of March it sucked for every single one of us to objectively face those aspects where we might have been failing things about ourselves we might not have thought about you know when's the last time you thought about what's in your house did you buy that shit every time you walk into your home when you sit down in your living room are you seeing shit that you want there are you seeing shit that you were told to buy because that impacts you that changes your mindset everything around your environment changes the way you think so fix it then that's just one aspect we did 31 fucking days we're asking questions like that you know what's the thing you aren't facing what's that one thing you're not avoiding what's the one thing you don't want to handle it could be a relationship with your dad it could be something that happened in your past it could be something that you know is coming in your future what are you avoiding because until you face that one thing that fucking black monster inside your soul you are not going to be able to build a foundation from which you can build the greatest self that you could possibly build that's where you start with fixing you and the reason I shared my history and the reason I shared that aspect of me is because I wanted you to see who your word does not dictate dictate who you become I was a fucking loser in high school I spent five years there because it was an idiot who was unmotivated and then I turned around two days before I came here I submitted my master's thesis that shit was fucking no joke I fucking hated school but I forced myself to go who you were the shit you've done does not dictate where you go as long as you're looking in the past you're not looking forward as long as you if you're looking forward you're not looking now fuck what happened completely fucking disregard get rid of who you were you keep identifying as you keep defining yourself as I'm the guy who had this happen to him no the fuck you're not you're a man well you know I had to go through this because it didn't have we didn't have money I had a broken family that's fantastic I don't care neither does the world fix yourself don't I identify with your past who you were doesn't dictate who you become all right and I'm telling you why I almost dropped out of fucking high school and then I fucking found myself fucking going for my master's like what the fuck life comes at you fast and that gets me into the topic authenticity that was a long intro so this speech is about authenticity alright Ryan touched on frame to me frame is there is frame is reality frame everything comes from frame in my world married men have plenty of sex they're happy they're filled with joy they fucking they lead their sons they fucking motivate and they lead their daughters that's my reality and you're never gonna break my frame because it's mine and I'm never gonna enter yours because it's not as good as mine and that's how every single one of you should feel you don't want to fucking become hunter drew you don't want to become you know Ryan Ivan Rolo you don't become us you don't want you don't want to be like that and that's what links all of the speakers why does Anthony have all of us here because we're all authentic we all are walking what the fuck we talk we are living the message that we are putting out I could have I could have come up here as a fucking an Indian chick named Brenda who was 300 pounds nobody ever saw me I was behind the screen but he read it Anthony could see it in the message this dude is living what the fuck he says for years I have not changed my tone and they were related to that like oh shit you know somebody who's pure somebody who actually like gives a fuck and is no longer following you know the expectations of society they're no longer following or allowing influence mothers to dictate what they do with their life you know creating the ideal man is creating a man who lives and behaves genuinely every action you take should come from genuine nature every single action you take from what the fuck you're wearing to what you're doing the profession you have it should come from an area that is genuinely you from your soul it has your spin on it it is not influenced by others it is not influenced by what mass media says you should be doing it is not influenced by what your family thinks you should do it is not influenced by anybody it is yours and until you start living like that you are not the ideal man goes back to putting the governor I'm trying to tell all right and then here comes the cold water for most a lot in this room your life and who you are right now is the biggest covert contract you've ever written you the everything you are when you say me that person you're identifying as that person you're expressing that's not you that's somebody you built because you thought somebody else would like it that's somebody you said I'm gonna be that person because then I'm gonna win that because that's that's what you do you get married you have kids you do says who you define who you are so when you have somebody saying hey I I am what do you mean by I the eye that's you that raw you that that raw mass and energy inside that wants to follow your passion is that who you're talking about are you talking about the guy who plays it safe makes the right decision right decisions because that's nobody else says you should do it whatever stage you're at in your life there's a big difference between the two you need to make sure that you're identifying with the right one and it's something I want you to do and I'll touch again on this but I mean this in the literal sense you're listening to me right now you have an opportunity right now to just stop fucking around and start living a genuine life I don't mean that in like some hurrah you know let's fucking let's get all jacked up and let's go work out I mean in the literal sense you can change your fucking life after this convention if you choose to you can change everything you can you can become who exact who you want to be after this that's why you're here all the time you've spent watching listening talking recording tweeting doing all that shit all the money you've spent to get here to get here to sleep here to stay here to join this to get your ticket what is it for it's for you to fix something there's something that you're trying to fix you're in a hole and you're trying to get out and I'm throwing you a fucking rope and I'm telling you climb get out of the fucking hole you have to change what you were doing if you want different results what do you want go out and do that fuck so how do you find that authentic self what steps do you take the first step is removing the unessential removing the things that don't fucking matter if you want to fix you you've got to get rid of the bullshit that's stuck inside your head every day you've got it in your head that I'm supposed to say this I'm supposed to do that I'm supposed to fuck I'm supposed to suppose to supposed to you're not supposed to do a fucking thing do whatever the fuck you want you know and I'm not my don't eat paint disclaimer I'm not saying go rob a fucking bank you know let's let's use some common sense you're men and I'm talking to you as men I'm not saying guys I'm not saying bros I'm saying men because every single one of you is an individual fucking ball of masculine fucking energy that's ready to punch the world in the goddamn mouth but you're holding it back let that fucking fist out fucking just go for it what do you have to lose what do you have to lose by living a life that is genuine what do you have to lose by by living according to your terms instead of everybody else's you know when I see dad Bob I see this shit I've got the red pill lens on them so fucking frustrated because that's not my reality I live in a society that I want to disregard all their bullshit because it doesn't relate to what I'm trying to live you know your fucking your dad should be motivated they should be fit you should be a fit father not a fucking dad bod you should be an individual who's setting an example for others you start by getting rid of the bullshit the lies you tell yourself in the fluff that you use to justify your mediocre performance I'm holding up a mirror now you've got to do better you've got to get rid of what the fuck everybody else wants you to do and you've got to start doing what you want to do whatever that is and it's difficult because that means you have to objectively tell yourself I've been failing up to this point I have not been trying hard enough the second step is embracing your sexuality I think it was Rolo or maybe Socrates that we are fucking horny 24 seven we are like ready to go I'm fucking horny right now this is the longest I've gone without sex I'm telling him I think this week will be the longest I've gone without sex since deployment since I got fucking underway in the goddamn Navy it's fucking like I'm ready to rip a phone book in half but like you have to embrace it that's a part of your nature as a man you know some guys are like they're afraid to tell a girl like I want to fuck like I don't want to hold your hand I don't want to just sit here and chitchat about your fucking feelings I'm horny as shit like let's go and if you're not the girl who wants to do that you're not for me because like there are other girls you know there's many fish in this fucking sea and that girl is not your mission she's a part of it if you get rid of her it doesn't change your mission so fucking if they're if you're with somebody who is not meeting you sexually she is depriving a major part of who you are and you should reevaluate is that the girl for you that would do that you should also reevaluate are you the kind of guy who deserves that from her some men deserve sex more than others some men try harder than others this is life not everybody's a fucking winner you can be you're being given all the tools to be a fucking winner but you've got to apply them you know my slogan is acting on berber which is deeds not words which doesn't make sense because I've written a million of words trying to cause action but it's what you do now what you say what are you doing in your life that's fantastic you know they were talking about hey my new year's resolution under this you said something you got that hit a dope mean but you didn't do anything so it's not it's not gonna fulfill that that need you have because that needs gonna come from action lifting the weights talking to the girls and like I said expressing that that sexual nature that you have it's okay to embrace who you are but too many are just numbing themselves cuckoldry that is what porn is every time you watch porn you are a cuck why because you're not the guy fucking that girl you're the guy beating your dick aggressively while watching another man fuck a beautiful woman she's amplified she's not real she's fake as fuck she's got huge tits of fat ass giant lips perfect skin fantastic fucking Abela Anderson I'm a huge fan but she's not real she's a fucking amplified you know sex toy and some other guy is fucking her while you sit behind a screen in the corner somewhere beating your dick what do you think that's doing to you mentally you know you're numbing yourself you know rollo has a post where he says you know don't rub one out before you go on a date you know guys like I'm gonna rub one out and that'll be nice and relaxed a fucking woman doesn't want to relax man she wants a fucking motivated man who was gonna fucking take her she there's too many relaxed men out there you guys are putting governors on your own expression of energy when I talk about masculine energy I'm talking about the no shit that limit list reserve that we have you know when you look at men who are finding comfort in this come discomfort you know embracing the suck if you will we're happy as fuck when we're crawling in the mud tired broken but we keep on going because there's a fucking fire inside us that just does not go out it doesn't it just you keep pushing you know I'm fucking tired right now but I'm gonna keep going I'm motivated fuck right now just talking to you guys and it just it just fuels me but every time you sit and you jerk off yeah all right now I'm relaxed why are you fucking relaxed what do you what do you need to be relaxed from now porn has its place again I've deployed twice I fully appreciate porn but that isn't every day you know you can go a week and if you can and when I did that 31 days or when I did men of March which became 31 days to masculinity a part of it and the biggest killer of men was you can't jerk off there's no porn you can have sex with a woman totally fine but you cannot jerk off well I'm so frustrated I'm gonna get a fight channel it use it to go find a woman use that frustration as energy as fuel don't make it in the anchor that's fuel for growth not an anchor to hold you back some guys don't know what it's like to be sexually aroused some guys don't wake up with morning wood anymore because they're fucking so frequently beating their cock that they're just losing all energy and they just never rise literally to the occasion why why are we trying to be comfortable why are we trying to relax because it's difficult to talk to a girl you'd overcome that if you were horny because it's it's easier you don't face rejection you're absolutely right you know I was talking to last night with Tanner and Christian McQueen they were talking about how certain programs do well and others aren't doing as well they're wondering why and it dawned to me that the programs that don't put you out in the world where you might be rejected by another or be seen being rejected by another is much more difficult to follow than one where you can just it's you download the program and you know what if you don't do the program you don't start your business nobody knows so the ones that are putting men out there where they could fail they're not joining anymore because they're getting weaker they can't face it you know the guys who can't I can't talk to a girl I guarantee if you will go four days five days you can talk to fucking anybody you don't give a fuck if she's a two a ten six a bush you don't give a fuck it doesn't at that at that point you're really just gonna freely express yourself so instead of trying to limit ourselves we need to express ourselves and embrace that aspect of who we are as men and that brings you to the last segment of finding your authentic self is that masculine energy that I keep talking about you know that those vibrations you give off I'm giving it off right now you know and it's just when you take when's the last time you talk to somebody who had passion and what they were saying when is the last time you've heard somebody have passion in their voice to the point where they're fucking running out of breath because they can't stop talking about it you know this isn't a show I give a fuck I'm passionate about this and this is why I talk about it this is why I talk the way I do this is why I present myself the way I do this is why even though I'm a fucking midget compared to Ivan I can make my presence much more I'm just gonna spit over the carpet too few care and when somebody does care and they talk like this you're like oh the fuck's that guy's deal what's you on that fucking asshole why cuz he cares about something because you're numb you don't know what it's like to give a shit a lot of guys flash anger it can get mad really easy it's easy to show anger it's hard to show passion it's hard to look other men in the eyes and talk about something you believe in so forcefully and not express that part of you now for most they don't even know what they're passionate about you've got a lot of energy you've got a lot of good ideas you guys are probably always smarter than I am and you can achieve a lot of things that I can't achieve but you're not and I'm going to achieve it not because I'm smarter than you not because my idea is better than yours it isn't but because I'm doing something I'm choosing to do I'm not gonna talk about it I'm not numbing myself I'm not limiting myself now how do you do this in a relationship this is where the family alpha takes off this is why I'm here this is why my blog exists and is doing well because there are a lot of guys who have to reinvent themselves under the eyes of their woman a divorced man has a lot of free time when he does not have his kids he is alone he can pursue his mission he doesn't worry about it when he has his kids you can dedicate that time the single man can reinvent he can have a girlfriend they do their fucking thing he's like you know what I'm a fucking pussy I got a fucking improve I need to get better I'm not as good as I want to be so he does then he dumps her the next girl what does she think he's always been like this this guy's always been this motivated guy you know he didn't just fix himself last month he's always been like this but the married man the man in the LTR he's got to do it under the fucking warden's eyes he's got to he's got to dig that tunnel out of that fucking mold that I already built around him while they're watching it can be done as long as you have that limitless reserve of I call it a rational confidence if you guys were all gonna fight me right now I still think I have a chance I'm a rationally confident in what I'm doing I'll lose again fucking ass kicked but I think I'll go down swinging and I'll go down winning in my head because if you give everything you have to something even if you lose what the fuck else could you have done you gave your best to something and your marriage if you want to fix yourself and you don't think it's right you have to you don't make her you don't fix yourself for her let's put it that way you're fixing yourself for you and if you're fixing yourself for anybody besides yourself it's not gonna work if you're fixing yourself to get more sex from your wife is not gonna work you've got to fix yourself because you're not happy and you're not content with where you're at in your life right now you're not content there's a void in your heart you're inside a hole you're inside a mold you know something's not right but you don't know what it is and you're trying to figure that out so you start taking action you do start lifting you don't have to fucking totally go astray hey babe going to the gym why cuz I'm fat alright see you later go like there's no discussion she's not a part she's not the governor she's not the deciding factor on what it is you choose to do so fix yourself in front of her eyes you know make those changes and start slowly you don't have to fucking flip the table over just start take changing piece by piece you've got one brick that is intentionally placed after you take out that brick of bullshit that one brick could be eating better you're gonna take out your snacking put in the big one take out a brick of always watching Netflix at night start writing a book if that's what you're into take out that fucking brick by brick by brick by brick whatever the fuck it is that makes you the new you that's your new foundation of self used to be living in this little fucking shack inside a mold and you're building a fucking castle of your masculine empire on top of that foundation and it's strong because you have placed every single brick with surgical precision precision each one is right where it needs to be and that's going to support you that's going to support every endeavor you have from that point and you cannot fail because that castle is attacked the queen leaves it doesn't fucking matter you're still king of that domain and that domain is yourself that sense of self that expression of self you can do that right in front of one and she'll love you for it she will nag nag nag and then fuck your brains up how the fuck did you jump that gap because you fucking turn around because a man who leads a man who follows his mission that's attractive to a woman and you're capable of doing that right now and it's not just about getting women you'll be happy when is the last time you sat there like man I'm happy but like I'm truly genuinely filled with joy right now because that's what I feel in front of everybody like I'm nervous a little less so now but I'm fucking happy to be doing this everybody should feel that it's not about fucking kumbaya let's hold hands and sing a life is great life fucking sucks sometimes but you can embrace the suck you can smile you can laugh you can be happy throughout all of it you know I call it smiling in the rubble a man can fucking have the world falling around him and have the biggest smile on his face because the sun's up there's a fucking breeze isn't your fuck what does it matter what what do you get by continuing to hate yourself what do you get by continuing to repress yourself what do you gain at all by choosing to take that easy path of what you thought was right not a fucking thing you get another year another day another hour lost you're closer to death tomorrow isn't guaranteed also this is why vetting is so important and it's so underutilized you can make your life significantly I can't even give you the proper term in the English language but ample flawed massively easier by getting the right girl when I was vetting my wife and things have changed since I vetted my wife I was talking about this I didn't there was no tinder there was no fucking you weren't really having videos on online like we started dating in 2003 you didn't have to worry about that shit you know fuck I'm glad and I'm sorry for you guys but hey work with what you've got but when I was vetting her one of the biggest things was her relationship with their father she was the kind of girl who wanted to make dad happy I still planted dad she always wants to please me now if I tell her I'm proud holy fucking shit when's the last time you told your wife you're proud of her your kids yourself anybody why do we just assume people know these things if you feel something say it because you're authentic you're genuine when you live a genuine life you don't say things because you want something I don't say hey babe I'm proud of you because I want sex that's not gonna get me sex I say it because I feel it when you can start feeling again when you stop being numb you can start sharing that feeling with others and guess what it sets an example for them to measure themselves it allows it takes the chains off of them like hey if he can do this I can do this and then now you've allowed another man to take the chains off to live authentically I have two kids a part of this and one of the strongest passionate things I have when I talk about my kids is that I allow them to live their lives my son is a masculine powerhouse my daughter is a fucking like feminine little beauty the most innocent thing in the goddamn world that doesn't just happen you know that a recent story I shared I walked outside my daughter is sitting in the driveway with chalk she's drawing a fucking house and a flower because she's a fucking little girl and that's what they do and my son comes running by wearing headphones jam into a fucking iPod I'm like what are you doing training what the fuck are you training for he's fucking training he's out there getting it and that has nothing to do with me he's expressing that pure masculine energy where he is preparing for something because that's what men do you allow your sons you allow the next generation you allow others to freely express their cells and be who they should be instead of who others think they want to be by doing it yourself you set the standard from which excellence is measured you set the standard which is free from any influence outside of who you are and what it is you want to share like I said my children are a part of my life a huge part of my life but they are not my life my wife is a huge part of my life but she is not my life and you should apply that in your own your job may be a part of your life but it is not your life if your job is fucking killing you get a new fucking job you're not stuck stop sticking to the to the safeness I'm not saying go out and start business find a new fucking job apply maybe move somewhere they haven't lived before but take some action or else you're gonna keep dying day by day by day and then what are you going to show for it I sad you you that you come to the next convention and you haven't learned anything you haven't done anything every time we you're attending this now you should have so many fucking notes in your head you should have so many different perspectives you might not relate to anything I fucking say you might think this guy's a fucking retard and I don't know why the fuck they brought him I don't give a fuck you learn what not to do you learn you can take something away from it all right and if there's just a seed planted maybe a little different perspective on life you know it's not I'm not telling you the same thing everybody else is telling you they're telling you how things work I'm telling you why you need to approach everything you know he's talking about building a boat don't build a fast boat because you think it's gonna get you bitches build a fast boat because you want a fast boat don't build anything don't build an empire to impress another build what you want to build and what you want to build as a fucking shack build that shack you don't have to impress me you don't impress any other man in this fucking room you have to just be comfortable with you and who you Trent genuinely are moving forward I want you guys to remember this quote your children your wife people they will rise to the standard you accept not the one you expect they're only going to try as hard as they have to they're also going to follow your example not your advice if you tell them all day you should read books you should eat right you know you should lift you should be genuine but your fat ass is sitting down watching fucking Netflix every fucking night eating Doritos what do you think your kids are going to do they're watching you they're always watching your girl always watching they're following your example they're not gonna follow your advice those words don't mean shit if you don't live your own message if you don't believe in what it is that you're saying why the fuck would they nobody's gonna believe in you if you don't believe in you nobody's gonna follow your guidance your standard if you're not living that same guidance and standard what kills me is the amount of fathers and husbands who are just setting the poorest example for their children my kids like I said they're eight and five they're very young I've got a lot to learn they're still growing you know but it's beautiful to watch them grow and I'm fighting as hard as I can against outside influences and I'm improving their friends as well their friends come over and all of a sudden we're talking about lifting weights you know my daughter's friends come over hey they're not sitting in front of a tablet we don't have tablet toddlers we've got kids who are fucking like little artists we give them paint go out and do something the Sun's out you're out go play guess what I'm not sitting my fucking ass in the house when that's happening I come home from work dead tired I've got an hour commute that's an hour there I work my job my job is pretty legit the commute sucks working on that hour back tired as fuck get out and every fucking day my son hey can we go play catch hey can you pitch to me my daughter hey can we go on the fucking swing set yeah yeah we can do that and I do it every fucking day because that's what they need in their life you don't have to be 100% accessible all the fucking time but you've got to make an effort you've got to give them the time and attention they deserve because you brought them into this world you made them your responsibility whether you wanted to or not you've got a fucking job to fill and if you aren't gonna fill it we're gonna perpetuate the cycle that's like the poverty cycle except obesity except lack of being able to read a book my kids don't get to play in tablets they get to read books strengthens their mind mental and physical fitness you've got to give the mind and body and spirit are all interrelated you've got to train all of it you've got to make yourself better than what you were and there are too many wives out there who are under fucked and over critical sometimes you just got to fuck that chicks brains out just give her a hard fucking and just like you know we're not going back just fucking lay it down like a fucking caveman and just that's that's the starting point from there on you like I'm not we're not doing this shit anymore we're not doing the fucking starfish missionary we're going fucking outside you know we're fucking going somewhere we're going in the shower I fucking go to recently has been fucking popping a bunch of glow sticks throw them in the shower and then bam that's it it's like a fucking rave it's fantastic if you do it and it works let me know I was talking to somebody I can't find him in the crowd right now I wanted to give him credit basically he said you know if we don't do this if we don't start making a change who will I'll leave you with that that's all I have