 Nicole says, question, when a guy you like sends you gifts, does he love you secretly? Does he love you secretly? So I don't have the book handy, but if you're not familiar with the five love languages, the five love languages, the five love languages is how human beings express love in five particular areas. Now most people have one, two or three primary love languages and then they have secondary love languages or third, whatever. So the five love languages are words of affirmation or like we Leo's call it, words of adoration, physical touch, quality time, acts of service and gifts. So what's happening most likely in this particular case is this man shows his love or affection through gifts. And I think that's just to recognize that that's what he's doing would be a real, and I hope you're demonstrating appreciation to him for his efforts. So I invite you to look at, so what was your question? When a guy sent, does he secretly love you? It certainly means he has a deep affection for you. He has a deep affection for you. It's not a guarantee. Listen, love happens, folks. Let's clear this thing up about love because most folks focus on love based on the good things, the good things. True love happens, and I think of my mom and dad who were married 66 years before my mother passed away. Actually, they knew each other 72 years. Can you believe that? Love isn't the good things. It's not even the weird things. Where love happens is they stand beside you when you're going through chemotherapy and they're wiping the vomit from your face. That is where love resides. It's not in the good times. It's through the tough times. This is why I'm such a proponent of not using romance as a way to bond two people together. Romance should be reserved for two people when they're in relationship, not as a way to get into relationship because most everybody is suckling on the nipple of chemistry, equal relationship success. And if you're not familiar with my relationship, I'm going to show you the tip of the iceberg. You can see the tip of the iceberg says chemistry above the water line is attraction, but true compatibility lies in shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. That's where compatibility lies. And emotional maturity is that space where you're going to say, I'm going to be there for you through thick and thin. And yet sadly, most people are dating today seeking connection and sex, with no commitment. You know, I almost want to say today we should be, and I'm not suggesting this as an absolute, but think back when if a guy wanted to get laid, he had to get married. He had to marry you to get laid. So there was a real level of commitment. Today, commitment is this much. It's zero. There's no commitment to get the penis inside the vagina. There's basically the agreement that you'll be monogamous and exclusive with one another, but that's no guarantee. So folks, ladies, it's time to put your chastity belt on. And I'm not saying a guy has to jump through hoops. I'm saying you both have to jump through hoops, getting to know each other at a heart-centered level instead of this surface level of chemistry equal relationship success. It takes a lot more than that to really be in love with someone. And it's not just giving gifts. A real love is, I'm gonna be there for you through thick and thin. So when I say, my hope is when I say, I love you to my next partner, my last first kiss, it's going to mean I'm here. You matter. We're important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. I'm here, meaning I'm present. Most folks are so much in their head. They're focusing on the future. They're focusing on the past. They're focusing on whether or not the guy paid for the valet. I'm here, be present. You matter. That's saying that you're important to me, that your feelings matter to me, that I'm actually going to care about your feelings. And then we are important. That means that the relationship is a separate entity and I recognize that we have to invest, both of us have to invest mutually for this relationship to work out. Sadly, most people don't see the relationship as a separate entity. They're more focused on what they can get versus what they can give. And this is true of ladies as well as men. I'm here. You matter. We're important. I've got your back. That means that when you're sick, I'm going to be there for you. I'm not going to bolt. If you got COVID, well, I'm going to be wearing a mask, but I'll be right there with you, bringing the chicken soup and helping you out. I'm not going anywhere. That means I'm committed to this relationship and I only want you. That means I only want to fuck your brains out on a regular basis. I don't have the need to go seek sex from somewhere else. I'm here. You matter. We're important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. So love is a lot more than just showing up for all the good times. Love is being there through the tough times. And so I just want you to understand he's showing affection right now through his love language, but real love happens when you establish the deep roots of trust. The deep roots of trust. And again, if you need some help with that, that's my area of expertise to teach you how to create those deep roots of trust. Check out the free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. I want to thank our, who wrote that in? Nicole, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate giving you a big, gigantic job in Barahak. All right, Angie writes, question. What should I act when a guy I'm dating for a few weeks is still in touch with his ex at a regular basis doing yoga? They broke up nine months ago. He also wants me to meet the yoga group. What should I, I think you mean how should I act? So again, this is a great illustration of what I was sharing before. And that's radical honesty. So what you could simply say, and let's call him Tim, for example, Tim, I understand that you have a connection in a relationship with a past lover of yours. And I want to be candid with you. That makes me feel a little uncertain or it makes me feel insecure. Not to suggest you're doing anything or you have any feelings with her, but I wonder how you would feel if I was continually talking to an ex, how would that make you feel? Or better yet, how would you feel about that? So I'd like to have some open dialogue about this to find out where you stand between the two of you. And now I recognize that you can have a friendship with a past lover in your life and that's totally okay. I understand that. At the same time, do you still have any feelings? Do you communicate on an intimate level with each other? Because if I'm going to be dating you and I'm going to be giving you my heart, body and soul, then I'd like to know that what said between us stays between us. I'd like to know that you're not talking about our intimate conversations or that you're seeking advice from her because that makes, I would feel very uncomfortable with that. So can you let me know where you stand? Now, ladies, all you can do is be vulnerable, authentic, transparent. You can't guarantee if he's going to do the same, but I invite you to lead by example because you might find that either A, it's purely platonic and it's okay, or you might uncover that there is a past connection with them and you may have to reconsider being in a relationship with them. So that would be my invitation for you, Angie, is to lean into the conversation and see how he reacts. You have, ladies, it's important to almost become a detective today, to become a detective today. And it literally requires that. So it's important to watch his body language, watch his languaging, watch his actions. Does his actions match his words? Is he demonstrative towards you? Is he vulnerable, authentic and transparent? Or is this just a relationship where basically this is all you do? How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you have a good day. Folks, many people have surface relationships and I invite you to go below the surface and that would be how I suggest you talk to him. And if you, I recommend rewinding this, listen to the script I gave you and try that out for size. So Angie, thank you so much for that. That's a great question. All right.