 Well, well, well, here's Mama Bloom's brood. Today we look in on Mama and Papa Bloom's apartment in Hollywood, where we find Mama and Sarah busily engaged in moving the furniture around. Listen. How do you like the soap over here, Ma? I think it gives the room a better balance. Well, let me look at it. Hmm, I don't know, Sarah. It's too close to the windows. Well, what of it? It looks nice there. It looks nice there, but your Papa wouldn't look nice on it. When he comes home in the evenings, he always takes his shoes off and lays down on the sofa, and he don't look so nice to the neighbors. Well, you should keep him from taking his shoes off and lying around the house looking like he does. Sarah, what else is a home for? If a man can't come home in the evening and be comfortable, he should maybe go to a park and sit on a bench. Papa likes to be comfortable. Yeah, but he could put on slippers. Yeah, but Papa don't put on slippers, Sarah. Why should he? Suppose somebody should drop in and see Paul looking that way. And suppose they should, but it'd kill him. No, but I think he could look a little nicer. You ain't supposed to look nice in a home. You're supposed to look like you enjoy it. That's why people go out once in a while. So they should be showing other people that they're able to look nice if they want to. And home? Hmm, who cares? Well... I'll bet that even the richest man in the world likes to take his shoes off. Even if he's got a million dollars, that wouldn't help his feet from pointing. Oh, it's useless to argue with you. Who's liking? I'm just telling you fiction. Facts. What's the difference? Facts are the truth, and fiction isn't. I will remember that. Uh, Sarah, help me move the big chair. Okay, get a hold on that side. I've got to hold it, Mom. I'm pushing. This way, Mom. Sarah, I ain't sandy that I could push the chair around like it was a feather. Give me a little help, yeah? Oh, I'm doing all I can, Mom. There. Hey, Sarah, don't push it out of the window. Well, I don't like it here. You don't like it here. So he pushes here, and you don't like it. We're not supposed to be playing card games with the chair. Well, if you want it there, all right. If I want it, oh, you bet. Papa will be home in a little while, and he'll see the house looking like a bicyclist, if it's cyclone. Well, it looks terrible. Well, I didn't like it the way it was. Sarah, who is in it, me or you? Well, well, don't you want it to look nice? Sure, I do, darling. Sure, I do. But to break mine back, I wouldn't care if it's looking nice or not. Well, I guess this is the best we can do with it. Papa will kick like a steerage when he finds out that this big chair's there. It ain't got any light. You ought to have more floor plugs put in. Then you can have more lights. We only got one newspaper to read. Why should we be having more than three lamps? Oh, they look nice. They look nice, she says. They look nice. Sarah, I'm going to tell you something. 25 years ago, your Papa and me had a gas mantle. One gas mantle to read by, and we was very happy. Today, we've got to have lamps all over the floor, or we don't look nice. Okay, it's your apartment more. Yeah, it's my apartment. Boy, that's Papa and Papa and stop it. Yeah, it's four, all right. Hello, Mama. Hello, Papa. Hi, Pa. Mama, what's going on around here? We're moving. Well, Sarah and me were thinking that the furniture was better in these places. In the middle of the floor. It ain't going to stay there, Papa. It ain't. Who's going to move it away? Couldn't she help? No. Don't you like the room better this way, Pa? There's my chair. There? Uh-huh. Am I supposed to sit facing the wall? Am I mad at somebody? Don't be a smart Isaac, Jack. It ain't fixed right yet. Do you like it there, Pa? Or over on the other side? I ain't got used to it over here yet. So how do I know whether I'm liking it or whether I ain't? Riddle, she's asking. Only one thing I'm asking. There is supper. It ain't cooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it ain't cooked. So I'm going on a diet. It wouldn't hurt you, Pa. Who asked you, Sarah? You're getting fat. I ain't fat. It's the new suit. A suit could be making you look fat. Well, no, this one does. And still I'm hungry. Yeah, but before you eat, you're having to help me move the furniture back. Or will we go to a restaurant? A restaurant? Becky, I don't like to go out again. I just came home. I'm very tired. Well, I guess I'll be going. Can I do anything else, Ma? No, darling, you go home now. Maybe you'll come back later tonight, huh? Oh, I don't know. Sid and I were thinking about going to some friends and playing some bridge. That's nice, darling. That's nice. OK, I'll be leaving. Yeah, thank you very much for helping me, darling. OK, goodbye, Ma. Goodbye, Sarah. Goodbye, Sarah, darling. Ain't she nice, sir? She's very nice. But I can't eat her and I'm hungry. Maybe we should go to a restaurant. Mama, I'm too tired to go out again. I want to stay home. Then you'll have to help me move the furniture back. Becky, ain't you going to leave it where it is? Why did you move it? For exercise? Don't talk foolish, Papa. Sarah thought it would look nice this way, so we're trying it. But I don't like it. I find things. I'm coming home in the evening as tired as a dog and I have to pretend I'm a moving man because my daughter, who ain't got anything else to do, wants to play with our furniture. You should be glad she's taking an interest in us. She's taking an interest in our furniture. Jake, we will go to a restaurant. I want to. We ain't eating out for a long time. Besides, I can wear my new shirt. No, Mama. No, I want to stay at home. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So we're going to stay home and be sticking the sides, huh? I want to eat in a restaurant. What's the matter, Mama? Did you forget how to cook? Vice cracks, huh? Look, Mama, before we're having an argument, I'll move the furniture. Then will you promise to cook me something? Yeah, yeah. All right, all right. Where do you want what? Well, the sofa goes back right about. The big chair right about. And one of the lamps goes into the big carpet where the trunk is. All right, Mama, all right, all right. We could be eating in a restaurant and saving all this time. I don't want to eat in a restaurant. So we won't. Ah, Papa, take the lamp in the cupboard for you. Uh, this one? Yeah, take it in the big cupboard. I'm going, Mama. I'm going. And don't bump the shade. It's parched, and it'll tear very easily. I know what I'm doing, Mama. Who knows what he's doing. He says he's always doing what he thinks. Jay, Jay, you should be back by now. I'll bet that even in the cupboard he's finding something to eat. Jay! Mama, Mama, come here. What are you doing, Jay? Playing hide-and-go-stick? Mama, come here. Look what I found. I don't think MC is yet with the room looking like a wretch in no supper cooking. Uh, what did you find, Papa? Yeah, look here, Mama. Look here. You can't guess what I found. I will look. Are you still in the cupboard? Yeah, yeah, in here. Come on in, Mama. A lot of you got? Mama, look at these things in this old car. Yeah, I know, Jay. I'm going to throw a lot of it out. Oh, no, no, no, Mama. You can't do that. You can't throw this hat out. It's like new. Twenty-five years ago, your warden. It's still like new. I just had it in over five years old. Five years, huh? Jay, that's the hat you wore when you took Ida Golfab to Coney Island. Remember? What could you be remembering what I wore? I will bet you that you wore that hat when you took Ida Golfab to Coney Island. Mama, sometimes I don't understand you. Why should you keep on talking about Ida Golfab? And the one time I took it to Coney Island. I remember it, Papa. You took me once. And you said you was never on the little boats that goes to the tunnels. But, Papa, you knew where all the darkest places were. I did not. You did, Yasha. I... Mama, you know something? I love you. Jack. Jack, look at the vase in the trunk. Your aunt Esther gave it to us for our wedding present. Yeah, yeah, aunt Esther, her husband ran a pawn shop. The vase was in the window before we got married. Later it was in our living room. Aunt Esther wouldn't do a thing like that. Jack, I'm telling you that the vase was in the pawn shop window. It was marked 450. But when we got it for our wedding present, it was a little piece of paper pasted on the violin in the base. It said $10. Well, maybe it was worth it. Mama, look, little dresses. They belonged to Sarah and Yata when they were little girls, remember? Yeah, Jack. The little peach-colored one was the one that Sarah wore when she excited in school. Recited, Mama, recite. Yeah. And the little tiny white one was the one Yata wore when she went to synagogue. Yeah, Mama, we've come a long way since then, huh? Not such a long way, Papa. Not such a long way? It's 25 years. 25 years ain't long, Jack. To me, they're just like it's yesterday. Yes, they're... That's the way the things you like to remember, Papa. They're keeping fresh like when you put flowers in water. Maybe we don't remember them every day. But sometimes, like you think now, you remember. Look here, Mama, you remember this? Papa. It's the ring you gave me for my boys they pressed. I even remember what I paid for. Such a nice ring it was. My mama wouldn't let me wear it. Didn't she like me when I first met you? Well, she liked you at first, but then my finger got green. She didn't like you. Yeah, tell me, Becky, what did your father think of me? My father? He said he was going to kill you. Kill me? All right, so I didn't like him either. He said he was going to kill you because one night we was out until nine o'clock. Nine o'clock. And so we worried when yet then Sarah stayed out until one o'clock in the morning. They didn't have daylight saving time when we was young, Jay. They didn't, yeah. Look, Mama, look, pictures, photographs. Yeah, yeah, I pasted them all in the book. Give a look, Mama, there's your uncle. That ain't my uncle, Jay. I'm telling you it is your uncle. Your uncle Abe. It ain't. Shouldn't I be knowing my own flesh and bones? Your uncle Abe, I would know any place, even in a book. Didn't the schlameel borrow ten dollars from me once? And did he ever pay at that? That's nothing. Once your cousin Mo borrowed twenty dollars from my father. With the interest we should have, we could buy ten moving pictures to just... No, look, Mama, look. You are Sarah and Yatob, and they were little girls. Ain't Sarah cute? That's Yatob. It's Sarah. Jay, you've got a memory that's very bad. You're not even knowing your own daughter. Well, that was one of them. It was one of them. There's your Papa, Jay. Yeah. Poor Papa. Did he like me, Jay? No, he said you were a little too flighty. I didn't like him, neither. What was the matter with my Papa? He talked too much. You shouldn't talk that way about my Papa. He still talked too much. All right, all right. So we won't have an argument. We'll turn the page. Who's this, Becky? Which one? Becky, look at the hat. Who is this? Let me look a little closer. What a slumilius. I bet he was one of your bulls. What a hat. Such a big hat. He ain't got me here. Papa, that is you. You're crazy. Maybe I am, but it's still you. That picture you had taken for night in Alice Street in the little place where they had all the pictures in the window, you remember? They don't look like me. It's still you. Well, I wasn't so bad looking. I've seen worse. There? Don't insult me, Mama. What a hat. Jake, didn't it hurt your ears? Well, it was stylish. Where did you get it? I should remember where I got a hat 25 years ago. And, Jake, the collar. Well, it was stylish, too. Yeah, I bet you couldn't wear a collar like that now. You got another chin to get in the way. Never mind, never mind. We'll look at another page. Who's there? Hi, Mama. Mama, I bet you don't know whose picture I'm looking at. Who is? I'll give you a hint. And I am looking at the picture of the sweetest girl in the whole world. Papa, you're flattening me. And how do you know it's your picture, Mama? Well, it better be. Mama, you were wearing a new hat and a new dress. You know something? I remember the night that picture was taken. Let me see it, Jake. You were so sweet that night, Mama. That was the night I asked you to marry me, remember? Aye, Papa. Let me see it, huh? Look, Mama, look. Look, ain't you cute? It's okay. Jake, you are... Mama, what's the matter? Jake, this is a picture of either gold club that was taken on the night you took it to Coney Island. What? We've raised me. Jake, where do you think you're going? Mama, you know something? I was just thinking, Mama. Wouldn't it be nice if we... if we went to a restaurant this evening to eat, huh?