 You know when I work with someone in a counselling session one of the first things that we generally do together is we learn how to Judge yourself how to actually judge yourself. It sounds like a strange thing because you know, we're trying to be we're trying to increase self-compassion and Get rid of really the inner critic that kind of ruins our day and brings up all sorts of Horrible negative emotions and maybe even poor decision-making so that's what we're trying to do So why am I teaching people how to judge themselves? Well, what you want to do is You want to kind of bring that negativity to Your therapy session or even if you're just doing inner work by yourself and you're curious about why you feel the way you feel and you want to You want to bring up these feelings and release them so that they don't drive you anymore One of the things we tend to do is we're not even sure of sometimes the difference between a statement and a judgment Because a judgment is a statement is just a statement of fact Could be a negative thing like I Might ask a person for instance What is it that's bothering you right now? What is this that's caught? What is it that's causing you a? Negative feeling and they'll say something like well, I work at the computer factory Or I work at the computer factory. I work at the I work at the local fast food place okay now In their mind, I'm asking them to tell me what it is that's causing you Pain or emotional upset or These negative emotions right and that's not really a judgment. That's that's just a fact. Okay a Judgment is more like My job is the worst job I've ever had Okay, that's a statement of that's a perspective. Okay, so that's what I mean with judgment right now if you're talking about yourself it could be Well, what bothers you and the person would say something like well I work at the local food markets or whatever it is, you know, that's the thing that's bothering me Really a judgment about the self is I'm a worthless person Okay, it's a statement of value that you're you're you're placing on yourself or not a person or a situation and It's always a perspective. That's what we're looking for. It's the perspectives that we have on things It's not the statements of facts that are actually causing us emotional upset I want you to start getting in touch with the perspectives because if there's an emotion there, I can guarantee you There's a judgment about something and it's not a fact Although it seems like it it's a perspective. It's some kind of a judgment one of the best ways to do it is Actually, one of the very best things you can do is Well, when you're when you're searching for what these judgments might be I always encourage people Amplify what you think it might be Exaggerate what you might you think it might be don't minimize the judgment Okay, make it really big and really awful and scary so we can get it up and take a look at it, right? Because we do tend to minimize them when we're we're bringing it up Now what you're doing the best way to do it when you're starting off is add in anything like should So I should do this or I should be like that or need to or have to or most or ought to Okay, so just for simplicity. I would say start off with saying using should judgments about yourself So where are your shoulds about yourself other people and situations? That's the easiest way to do it. We're not talking about facts as you as you see the fact, okay? Facts are just facts. That's the way things are current situation currently actually is Everyone would look at it and say the same thing. Yes, that's true perspectives are value judgments now The whole point of doing this is we want to uncover those judgments so we can bring them up and we can together sit down and One at a time by the way, just one judgment at a time Really spend a little time looking at it because it's the thing that's causing a lot of this emotional pain You could we could spend 15 20 minutes half an hour just looking at this one judgment inquiring about it seeing okay Is it true? You know, we have to actually question it once we find it So give yourself permission when you're doing this To be very judgmental very negative very dark very pessimistic all those negative words and Really exaggerated to make it worse than it might seem because really It probably is that bad if it's causing you these emotions in your body Okay, so practice judging yourself When you because finding the judgments is by far and away the hardest thing in any kind of inner work That you're going to do to bring it up so that it can be looked at Reinterpreted and released let go or drops, right? What is the building? What am I holding on to? Oftentimes people will tell me things like, you know, I often don't judge myself I judge or I only judge myself. I very rarely judge other people or situations Well, I would say you know, okay, well, that's fine You know just start off by looking at those beliefs about yourself But really after a while just start to get curious about are there any beliefs about other people just encourage yourself to do it as an exercise If the negative feeling is there because the negative feeling is trying to tell you something and it's telling you there must be an underlying Judgment here I have about something that's quite negative Okay, so I hope that's helpful guys in my experience. It's very very helpful To really exaggerate the judgment and bring it up and then you can look at it So again, I hope it was helpful and thanks for watching. I'll talk to you next time