 All right, so let's say that you're dating an attractive man, but things aren't quite as flirty as you'd like them to be. Maybe things are feeling a little dull, maybe they're feeling a little stagnant. Maybe things aren't moving towards this romantic relationship that you want to have with a guy, but this guy's great and you think he's awesome and you want this to move towards the romantic relationship instead of just a friendship. How do you connect with a guy in a way that kind of gets his biological drive moving? How do you get him to feel that kind of desire in himself that makes him move forwards and pursue a romantic relationship with you? Hi, I'm Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. If this is your first time to our channel, make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button to make sure that you don't miss any of our awesome videos. Today we're going to be talking about seven flirty questions to ask a guy you like. And so he's going to absolutely love these and let's get started. If you're here with me, make sure that you say hello in the chat. I love it when people say hello and we will get started here. So there's a lot of advice out there that kind of doesn't really work and it's not really good advice. If you're kind of in the first stages of being with a guy or you're in certain situations, so one of them is like the disinterest stuff, right? There's a lot of stuff out there that talks about like active disinterest or showing a guy that you're not interested in him. Now that's kind of gamey, right? And guys will feel kind of this gamey thing that's going on and really what it's going to do more than anything is it's going to weed out lots of good men. And the only men that are going to want to stay if you're acting that way are the aggressive type of men, right? The most aggressive type of men, which usually aren't the kind of guys that you want to stay in the first place. So I'm not a huge... We talk a lot about like leaning back on this channel and a lot of times women need to lean back because they're leaning forward too much and they're kind of grasping and feeling insecure in the relationship and it's better for them to kind of lean back in certain scenarios. However, it's not always a good idea and a lot of times it's better if you do something else, right? If you show a little bit more interest, I've been talking a lot recently about this idea of attainability. And attainability is really important for women who are a little bit more secure, right? Women who aren't super insecure and needy and grasping and leaning forward all the time. If you're not doing that, you probably need to work on being more attainable for the man because men will stop pursuing you if they don't feel like they're going to win, like they're going to be moving towards the type of relationship that they want to have. And so you want to give him like breadcrumbs, you want to lead him towards the promised land, as I like to say, right? You want to lead him towards the idea that you want this romantic relationship with him as much as he wants it with you. I believe in real connections. I believe in connecting with the man in a real authentic way. And sometimes it can be really good to have little kind of conversational starters to help you kind of lead you in the right direction in order to have those real conversations with the man. And so today we're going to be talking about seven of those and moving towards more of the sexual, flirty type of relationship, romantic type of relationship that you want to have with a guy. If you feel like things are dull or things are kind of plateauing or not moving in the direction that you want them to. So the first question that we're going to be asking. So this is kind of like a stair step process, right? We're going from a little bit more tame to like really hot and sexy and steamy and awesome and flirty. And at the end, what I'm going to do is talk to you a little bit about how to make sure that you're protecting yourself in these situations and sending him the right signals so that he's not moving forward too quickly for you. And at the same time, you're not doing full stop rejections and making him totally lose interest in you. And so we'll talk about that at the end. And so the first one, the first question that you're going to ask here and it's kind of transitioning into talking about these kinds of flirty type of things is what, here's what it is. You say besides physical, besides the physical, what do you think is the most attractive quality in a woman, right? And so basically this is pretty risk-free, right? Like you're not asking about yourself. You're not asking about your own qualities. There's no kind of rejections that can happen here. You're just talking about women in general. He's a man. He's a straight man. There's things that he's attracted to in women and you're going a little bit deeper. So we're not talking about the physical aspects of it yet. We're talking about kind of these emotional qualities that he has going on. So hello everybody, hello Margaret, hello Jessica, hello Colm Angel, hello Kim, Florida, UK, Denmark. Wow. We have a lot of cool people in here. So say hi in the chat if you're here and just say where you're from. All right. So what we're doing here with this first question about asking besides the physical, what do you think is the most attractive quality of a woman is we're kind of just like kind of kickstarting that biological drive that the man has, right? Men, we all have this biological drive that makes us want to pursue and chase after a woman and invest in a woman and protect a woman and be there for a woman and make things go towards the sexual realm with a woman. And so you want to kind of kickstart that drive that's going on with him. And another thing that I want to mention about these questions is that they don't all need to be one after the next, right? This doesn't need to be an interview and it shouldn't be an interview. These should be more like sprinkled into the conversation. Like each one of these questions can lead to a full on conversation about something and it doesn't need to be necessarily like this interview question type of thing and it doesn't even need to be on one date, right? This could go over multiple dates, two dates, three dates, whatever you feel comfortable doing this with. And so the next one we're moving it a little bit more towards the flirty kind of like biological drive, sexual realm type of thing where we're saying what's your favorite physical feature on a woman? And so this is still relatively, this is still relatively risk-free because you're still not even talking about yourself yet. You're still, you're kind of talking about women and you're putting in his mind this idea of like, oh, when you think about women, right? Like what is, what's really attractive? Like what kind of physical features on women are really attractive and a lot of guys they're in, you know, there's kind of this thing out there where people talk about like butt or boob guys, right? Some guys are butt guys, some guys are boob guys. Some guys like things and you'll hear this if you ask guys this question is some guys, a lot, most guys are actually into things other than butts and boobs, right? I know it's, I know it's hard to believe, but guys are actually physically into lots of other things, right? Some guys are into legs, right? Some guys are into your back, right? Or some guys are into hands or your face or your neck or just all kinds of different things. Really surprised when you ask this question, but we're also moving closer to kind of that flirty sexual realm when we're talking about this question. Is everybody getting this here? If you're getting it, say you're getting it in the comment section. All right. So next, so we're moving on to number three. Number one, we're talking about besides the physical number two, we're moving it to the physical and number three, we're, we're moving. We're putting the spotlight a little bit on you, right? And we're, we're saying, what's your favorite physical feature on me? And so this is a little bit risky, but you get to learn a lot about him, right? And you get to learn about, you also get to a compliment because basically what he's going to do if he's smart is he's going to give you a compliment about yourself and your physical features, which is always nice. And so, you know, what is he like? What is he like about you? What feature does he like about you? And again, we're kind of moving a little bit more into the flirty zone. And with all of these different questions, it's kind of a, not only asking him about it, but usually what ends up happening is he'll end up turning it around and being like, okay, it's your turn now, right? Like it's, it turns into kind of this fun little kind of like question game where you're like, oh, you know, what's your favorite physical feature on me? And then you, he tells you and then, you know, he might, he might end up being like, okay, so what, what about me? Like, what do you, what do you think about me? And so be prepared to answer the question back, you know, if you get put into this situation. And so, uh, so yeah, that's number three. And so moving on, number four is where we're asking a little bit more about his sexual temperament here. And so number four is, do you think it's attractive when a woman makes the first move, right? And so I've actually talked to a lot of guys about this in the past. And, and there's a lot of different kind of things that guys will say about this. Some guys hate it when women make the first move and they like to be the guy that's pursuing and moving things forward and whatnot. Some guys actually, unless he's like very dominant, he'll probably say yes to this question. And if he does, it's a chance for you to say that you like it when guys make the first move. So if he says yes to this question, it's a chance for you to be like, Oh, well, I like, I like it when guys make the first move. Right. And so basically you're kind of putting yourself into this almost squared off scenario, right? If he, if he's like, Oh yeah, I love it. I think it's so hot. Like I actually prefer when women make the first move, then you can be like, Oh yeah, you know what, I, I actually really like it when guys make the first move. And you, it kind of almost seems like an impasse, right? And you can even say that, right? Like you could be like, Oh yeah, you know what, now we're kind of at an impasse here. And if you want me to make the first move and I want you to make the first move, what if neither of us makes it, right? And so you're kind of creating this scenario where you're like, you're, you're giving this, it's almost like you're giving him permission here, right? And you're telling him that you want him to make the first move next. And so if, if you're kind of in that situation and you say that, it's like, it's almost, they call it, they call it kind of like a takeaway, right? Like you're, you're, you're putting up this barrier where you're saying, Hey, you know, we're in this situation, we've been dating, we're attracted to each other, right? And we're making it very clear right now with our conversation that we're both attracted to each other, right? Which kind of pulls you out of this whole like friend zone type of area, this whole like kind of friendship, dull, stagnant, you know, non biological drive, none of us moving forward and kind of creating this romantic relationship that we, we absolutely both want. So you're pulling yourself out of that and saying, we're both attracted to each other and you're asking him what he likes and then you're telling him what you like, and then you're creating this space if he says that he prefers that women make the first move where you say, Hey, we're, we're at this impasse right now. Like what's going to happen next, right? If you don't make the first move and I don't make the first move, I don't know. It's like we could both go home and, you know, never end up being in this amazing, awesome relationship that we both absolutely want right now. And so, so yeah, it's, it's a, it's, it's, it's a good move. It's good conversation to have. It's a good kind of connection to have with him because you're also kind of giving him that permission there where he, you're, you're saying, you know, I want this to move on to the next level. All right. And so next we're moving on to number five. And so, hey, if you're here right now and you have a question about something, make sure that you put it into the chat. Just ask the question in the chat and we'll go over the questions at the end of the live stream. So number five, we're moving on to number five. And at the end of this live stream, I'll put all the questions in the description box so you can have all of them and it will, you'll have them all there and you don't have to go through the video every time you want to figure out what the questions are. So you don't have to be, you don't have to write anything down right now. You don't have to write anything down. All right. So number five is we're, we're moving it even a little bit further, right? And what we're going to do with number five is we're going to work on his imagination and let his imagination start to run. And so number five, the question is, what's your biggest turn on? And so with the rest of them, it allows you to respond. So, so with, with this question, what, what it does is one, it's going to allow him to tell you what kind of turns him on and like think about that, right? And his imagination goes and he'll even start to feel it, right? If he starts thinking about what turns him on, he'll start to feel turned on, right? That's a psychological principle here. And what you get to do with this is since you're going to be responding to the question in the same way, right? You, you have a chance with every single one of these questions, you have a chance where he's either going to ask you back or you can just kind of chime in and be like, yeah, you know what? Oh, that's, you know, if he says, oh, I really like it when, you know, a woman touches my chest or whatever he says, right? You can be like, oh, yeah, you know, that sounds really hot, you know, you know what? I really like, right? And basically you're chiming in and allowing and telling him what you really find attractive. And so what this does is it allows you to frame attractive behavior, which is a really, really cool thing to do. I talk all about this in my Love Frames toolkit and how to frame attractive behavior so that he wants to do more things that are really attractive to you, right? And you can basically lay it out in whatever way you want to, right? So for instance, let's say that you really want a man to be a gentleman. What you could say is, you know, what you might do here is you might be like, you know, it's I know it sounds weird, but some of my biggest turn-ons aren't even like things that a guy like touches me with on my body or anything like that. It's more of like how a man behaves, like how a man acts around me is really like it's such it can either be such a turn on or such a turn off, right? Like for instance, I just love it when a man opens a door for me or I love it when a man pulls out my chair or, you know, he like when I'm cold, he puts his jacket around me or, you know, he grabs me with his arm and he holds me close to him while we're walking or he, you know, walks on the outside of the street, right? You can frame kind of different types of behavior that you want. If you wanted to kind of go meta on this and talk about a higher level of it, you could talk about just being a gentleman, right? Like I just, I find it just, it's so hot when a guy acts like a gentleman, you know, and does all those things and you could like name a bunch of things that you like that men do that you want a guy to do, which I know granted it can, this can sound a little manipulative. However, it can also be a really powerful tool, right? Because he wants to be attractive, right? Men want to feel like they're attractive to women and especially in our society that we live in today right now, a lot of men feel like their natural biological desires of, you know, wanting to pursue women are kind of shamed and not really okay for them to do. And so when you say things like this and you're talking about things about him being a man and how attractive it is, it can be a huge turn on to him and telling him that you find different masculine and manly behaviors really attractive, it can be, it can be really awesome for him, it can make him feel really, really good because he might not hear that very often. So other things that you might want to say in this that aren't kind of physically led things is things like being intelligent, right? Like you might be like, oh man, I just think it's so hot when a guy is just intelligent when he does like nerdy things, you know, and he like knows how to, or you could talk about like other kinds of masculine things, right? Like he knows how to fix a tire, like that's so hot to me, like I just, I love it when a guy can like just fix things, you know, or build stuff when he like knows how to like take care of things, like I just, I just think that's so attractive, right? And so you're talking about these different things that you like in men and they can be masculine things, they don't have to be masculine things though. You know, another thing that you can kind of frame here as a big turn on is the idea of giving compliments, right? So I know a lot of women love compliments, right? Right, right? You love compliments? Do you love compliments? Hey, I love compliments too, okay? Guys love compliments, everybody loves compliments, so it's okay. Loving compliments. And so, you know, this is a good time, for instance, if, if you know your love language and you know the way that you like a man to connect with you, to tell him that there, right? Like, oh, I think it's so hot when a guy gives me compliments or, you know, a guy, you know, touches me on the arm or a guy tells me, you know, everything's going to be okay or a guy, whatever, right? You're finding different things and you're telling him that these things are attractive. And you can also, you know, going back to the other kind of flirty, more sexual way. You can also talk about those kinds of things as well, but I just wanted to give you kind of an idea about how to talk about these turn-ons in a way that isn't even necessarily physical, right? Because I know for a lot of women what they tell me is that they need certain things from a guy in order to feel really, really turned on. And so, this is your chance to talk about those things, whatever they are, whether they're emotional things, right? Like if you like having deep conversations or talking about philosophy or talking about passion or whatever you, you know, you get into talking about that you think is really attractive, this is the place to talk about that and tell you, tell him what those things are so that he knows that he can talk about those things and kind of express and put himself on display and try to impress you, which is something that you want, by the way, something that you want. I hear a lot of women like, oh, guys are trying to impress me, it's so stupid. No, this is the natural order of things, right? Guys want to impress you because they're courting you. They want you to feel impressed by them. They want you to respect them. They want you to feel like they're this amazing guy for you. And so that's why guys do that. That's why guys list out their resumes and talk about how awesome they are and try to, you know, impress you with their different things that they do. When I travel and I do this and I do that and it's like, this guy's trying to impress you. He's courting you right now and you want to encourage that kind of behavior instead of discouraging it. And you get to lead it in whatever direction you want to if you're talking about it in this kind of way. And like I said, if you want a full thing on how to frame a man, go check out my Love Frames toolkit. It's a great, it's a great program. All right, so moving on. So that was number five and we're moving on to number six. Number six will drive you out of the friend zone and into the romantic realm quicker than anything. And here is what it is. Here's the question. Where do you like or where do you want? Yeah, let's go with where do you like? Where do you like to be kissed? Right? It's kind of like, it tells you a lot about, like he starts, he'll start, like if you want to get kissed by him, this is a good question to ask, right? Because it kind of leads into that type of behavior because you're talking about kissing. So he starts thinking about kissing. So instead of just having this conversation about whatever, all of a sudden you're having a conversation about kissing. And so he's gonna be thinking about kissing and at first his imagination is gonna go to you kissing him, right? Because you're having a conversation with him right now about kissing. And what you're gonna do is you're going to move it over to him kissing you because you're going to probably answer the same question. If you ask a guy this question and he doesn't ask you it back, he's an idiot. That's all there is to it. But it'll get him thinking about being kissed in different areas. And when you start talking about what you like, it gives him a chance to think about kissing you in those areas. And not only that, but also, hopefully later on end up actually kissing you in those areas. And so things that you might want to talk about are like your neck or the back of your neck or something like that. Or maybe you're into things like biting or something like that. And this is a good chance to kind of talk about those kinds of things as well. And so, is everybody getting this? Is everybody getting this? If you're getting it, say I got it in the chat. This is fun stuff. This is fun stuff. All right, moving on to question number seven. And then what I was talking about earlier is we're going to move into making sure that you're protecting yourself and you're also doing it in a very attractive way. So if he tries to move things a little bit more quickly, forward quickly, when you start talking about these things, then you're comfortable with, we're gonna talk about how to set that pace and slow them down. And so question number seven is, what do you wear to bed? And this is a great question because in his mind it's going to make him think about being in bed together. All that's gonna ring around his head is the word bed and it's gonna bounce back and forth and up and down and around his mind. And it's gonna make him really, really excited and he's gonna be like, I love that she's talking about me being in bed. And so here's another kind of fun thing that you can do to tease him when he asks you the same question or you end up chiming in and talking about what you wear to bed. And it kind of depends on what you actually do wear to bed but what you can do is you can say something like, oh yeah, you know, I actually would prefer to wear nothing to bed. However, I get kind of excited when I'm in bed naked and so to prevent myself from kind of touching myself, what I do is I put on pajamas whenever I sleep or some underwear or boy shorts or whatever it is that you end up wearing to bed. And so if you say something like that to him he's just gonna be like, he's gonna lose his mind with feeling kind of attracted to you and so yeah. And so that's question number seven. And I actually have a bonus question. I know that there's seven questions in this one but we're actually gonna do eight. So question number eight is how would you seduce me? Right, and basically what you're doing here is you wanna wait for this question until you're ready for him to kind of move things forward in that direction with you because you're really here, you're giving, you're kind of giving him permission to move things forward and try to seduce you, right? Because he's going to be imagining in his mind how he's gonna be seducing you and what he will probably do if he's really smart what he's gonna do is he's gonna turn it back to you and he's gonna say, well, how would you want me to seduce you, right? And so if you wanna answer that or you could be like, oh, you could play coy and be like, oh no, I wanna hear what you have to say first, right? If you do that, you don't have to worry about it. However, it'll allow you to kind of describe what you do like, right? If you want him to seduce you. And so it can be a really, really powerful kind of transition into that whole thing, right? Like if you're like at his place or he's at your place and you want things to move forward but it's not really going that way yet and you're like, what, why isn't he moving forward? You know, you can throw this question out there and if he's a smart guy, he will be moving things forward, right? So that's question number eight. And so next, what we're gonna do is we're going to talk about setting boundaries because this is really, really important here that if he starts getting kind of turned on and really excited and trying to, wanting to move things forward that you kind of put on the brakes, right? Because you want him, his biological drive to be moving but you also want him to invest in you, right? You want him to emotionally connect with you. You want his drives to be going and you want things to be moving towards a sexual relationship but you also want to be comfortable. You also want to feel like you're protected and you're in a kind of safe environment and like you have control over the situation and so what you wanna do with boundaries and I talk a lot about this also in my Love Frames toolkit is you wanna slow him down and you wanna pace his movements forward, right? And so the way that you do this without kind of, I talk about this in some of the other videos where there's kind of like a, there's a hard rejection and there's a soft rejection, right? The hard rejection is like, no, I'm not interested, get away from me. I'm not, I don't want you, I don't like you, right? And so a hard rejection is like a full stop, right? And it tells a man that he's no longer wanted, that he needs to get away from you and if he's really, really aggressive he'll keep moving forward but if he's not, if he's a normal guy which most men are normal guys so he's probably a normal guy is it'll end up stopping him, right? He'll kind of like stop and he'll end up leaving or going away and so if you want him to continue moving forward but you're not quite ready for it yet what you want is a soft rejection and a soft rejection is kind of this idea of like, oh, not yet, not yet, I'm not ready for that yet, right? It's not, no, I'm not interested, it's not yet, not yet, I'm not, I'm not ready for that and so the way that you do this in an effective way that allows him to know that you're still interested but also kind of slow him down a little bit is you first tell him what you want, right? Like, you know, whatever it is so if he's trying to kiss you or something and you're just not feeling it or he's trying to like move his hands on you and you're not ready for that kind of thing yet what you can do is say, you know, I really want to do these things with you, I really want you to touch me in all these places and I really want to move these things forward, how wet and then what you do is you tell him how you feel, right, which is like, I'm feeling, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable or I'm feeling and it's not like, when you tell him how you feel you're not telling him what he's doing wrong or how he's bad or shaming him or your expectations around what he should be doing. What you're doing is you're just telling him how you feel, right, and so you're like, yeah, I'm feeling, I don't know, I'm feeling just really, really nervous right now, I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable, I'm feeling, you know, whatever you're feeling, whatever's going on with you, tell him how you feel. So tell him what you want, tell him how you feel and then tell him what you need, right, like say, oh, you know, I feel like we need to kind of talk a little bit more or I need to feel a little bit more comfortable or I feel like maybe we should talk about something else right now, I'm just not quite there yet, right, like I really want this, but I'm just, it's just, I'm not ready for it right now, right. And so that's kind of the message that you're delivering with him. You absolutely need to tell him what you want if and it being kind of moving forward at some point, but that you're not quite ready for it, like you need to convey that in the message. So don't skip out on the telling him what you want thing. A lot of women, what they'll end up doing is they'll just tell them how they feel, tell him how she feels or tell him that he needs to back off or something like that. And even if it's not coming out from you as a hard rejection, he might take it that way. And so when you tell him what you want, it prevents him from taking that as a hard rejection.