 What's up guys, EvilDeer here. So today I'm going to speak to you about my first day in the army. Now I had spoken in previous vlogs about me being in the army for six years, but for those who are new to this channel, I was in the army for six years. Yes, I'm an Esperanist, yes I'm a pacifist, but I was also in the army for six years. Don't know how that works, but it just does. Wow, I just did one of the, uh-uh, type things. Anyway, so, my first day in the army, now, I was 17 at the time, and I remember that my parents drove probably like three hours to get to the Hobart Airport because we lived really far from Hobart. For those who don't know, Hobart's the capital of Tasmania, and Tasmania is just a massive freaking island hanging off the bottom of Australia. But anyway, so they drove to the airport, they dropped me off with all these other little kitties, you know, turning into adults, going off to join the army. There wasn't that many of us actually, there was only like two of us. Why did I say so many kitties? But there was two. Anyway, so I went to go on the plane. I was just about to hop on the plane because literally there's this building and you walk through it and then it's just open tarmac to the plane. You just like walk up onto the plane type of thing. There's no like massive terrorist detection or anything like that there. Anyway, so I'm just about to get on this plane, my dad just pulls me aside and he's like, son, today you can become a man. I'm like, yeah, I know that. I'm off to join the army, of course I'm going to become a man. And he's like, no, no, no son. Take one of these, look after it. And it was a condom he was holding his hand. I was like, we're having this conversation now? Haven't you neglected me all this time and now you're telling me this? And he's like, just, just hold on to it. You may have a use for it. And just to, just so you guys know, that thing literally rotted my wallet. I never found a use for it. God, that's so sad. But anyway, so I get up onto the plane and I'm on the plane. There's this one other little skinny dude right next to me. He's literally my skinniness at the time. We're like both 55 kilos. And he's like arms are like fricking, you know, two picks and he's like, come on, we're going to join the army. And now for all those out there thinking, well, hang on, don't, isn't the army like big, tough, meaty dudes type thing? Or surprisingly, no, like they have these physical tests where you've got to go for like this running, this push-ups and stuff. But if you can lift your own weight and run far enough, they don't care what size physically you are as long as you can handle yourself. So it was me and this one other little skinny dude on this plane. And the whole way he's like, yeah, I'm going to smash this down. It's going to be awesome. Oh, by the way, if you watched my previous V-LOGs, yeah, if you did, well, the guy that I randomly fly kicked in my previous V-LOG, this dude that was sitting right next to me. I don't know how this guy ended up next to me, but anyway. So yeah, we fly there. It takes like three hours. We land in Melbourne. They put us up in this like hotel for the night before the bus is meant to come pick us up with all the other people from Melbourne that day, you know, flying in from Perth and all the other locations. So we're staying in this hotel and we get this nice meal and I'm like, well, this is awesome type of thing. And the little dude that was with me, he's on the ground going, hey! 20, hey! 21, hey! 22, hey! 20 feet! 24, 25. Oh, man, I'm so strong type of thing, and at the time we're all like... That was pretty beefy. Anyway, so it was just me and him in the summer room. room we were like the tassie boys and there was just like this little fridge like the bar fridges that you have in there and there's like some chocolate in there and I love chocolate like I've been starved to chocolate up until this point because my parents never brought it that's probably a lie I hope mom and dad doesn't watch this but anyway so they had chocolate in the fridge and I grabbed some and I ate it but then I felt really guilty I'm like does the army pay for this fridge or do I have to pay for it so like literally just before we left I just left a couple of dollars laying on the bench because I wasn't sure what to do and I didn't want to ask anyone in case they'd go you can't eat the chocolate but anyway that was my biggest worry that day so we we parked it we went to bed and then the next day this bus rocks up just a standard bus nothing special doesn't have like I'll be the edge across the side of it but it's just this bus and there's all these other dudes you know all the civilian clothes like myself I wasn't exactly wearing this at the time oh god I didn't even button this up correctly sorry about that guys yeah that's terrible but anyway so we're waiting for the bus and our cops is great big warrant officer now for those of you who don't know military structure warrant officer is like the highest direct entry soldier that they can get to so it goes like corporal sergeant warrant officer and then there's like a few little ranks in between but that's pretty much it and then if you want to get above that you have to join the army as an officer and that means you got to go for uni and all that type of stuff but anyway so he's warrant officer that means he's been in for at least 15 to 20 plus years so this guy gets off the bus is big bloke like not mostly just big physically built and he's like hop on the bus little boys you know like he actually sounded like freaking Santa Claus he wasn't that bad of a bloke and everyone's like okay so we'll get on the bus we're taking our little bags and the whole way heading inland because the Army training base the initial one is located far inland and the whole way inland he's like well this is gonna be great you're gonna be trying new technology gonna get shoot guns you know you guys gonna be you're gonna be protecting the country it's gonna be all awesome he's like chatting to us individually as if we're like his best mates type of thing and we're like wow man we can really dig this this is awesome he's telling us all the type of stuff we want to hear and we approach the army barracks okay and it's got this big gate in front of it and you don't actually recognize it at the time but when you've been in there for six weeks as we had it stops being a gate turns into like the prison entrance where they shoot escapees but they don't actually shoot people but that's what you get mentally so you've gone up to this gate and there's this statue I can't remember what exactly what it was I just remember it stuck in my mind so but soon as we passed that statue the warrant officer just beforehand he's like yeah it's gonna be great and soon as we passed the statue just went like that his face just dropped and he just stopped talking everyone's like what's going on and he just stayed like this like literally just quiet for like the next minute until the bus pulled up obviously at like the main headquarters in this base and the door opens up and he turns at us all and he looks at us and goes get the fuck off the bus and we're all like yeah type of thing we're like ah and suddenly he's just demeanour just changed from this chatty nice old bloke to this I'm gonna rip your freaking legs off and feed it to the goat type of guy and we're all just getting off this bus and he's like yeah now you pieces of beep beep beep type of thing we're all like running off the bus and we're all like somehow getting all lined up and stuff and this guy's just walking in front of this like full on arms behind his back on you guys are the most disgusting pieces of beep I've ever seen type of thing and we're like whoa man this is like some hardcore type of stuff that you see in the movies the same real and some people are like like laughing almost because it doesn't seem so serious and then soon as they get seen that they're like yeah and then he walks away like why are you laughing at that and it's like you can literally see the speaker across his face he's like taking a type of thing like some really dodgy porno or something but anyway anyway so they line us all up and they just give us this equipment like they go this is your life from now on you have like five minutes a day to call your mother to cry about your life and it's like type of thing anyway so they take us off they divide us off into like these little platoons and at the time you just you just straight up get these like PT clothes you don't even get military clothes it's really like demeaning they give you this like I can't remember if it was a white or a gray but this white gray shirt like red pants or something like that or black pants I can't remember those nice spastic looking thing ever it's like one of those things you see in a really bad music video but anyway they give us these clothes and they take us off to this building and the whole time you just we're all just like kind of like attempting to march to this building as they're yelling at us saying left right left no one knows what that means we're just like and we get to this freaking building and they line us up in front of these rooms and there's like as I said in my previous videos it's the hallway and this is room room room room room and we're all lined up in front of these freaking rooms okay and I'm standing here like this like following what everyone else is doing everyone else has got their arms behind their backs so that's what I'm doing I don't know anything about the military so I'm just lying here standing up and the other guys standing opposite me and we're both like was this the best choice we made and the guy this is this corporal who comes down into the hall so what else has gone at this point he's obviously yelled enough for one day and he's probably off to have a smoke or something but anyway this corporal comes walking down the hallway and he stops at each soldier so he's like looks at you looks down looks up and goes and he's looking at these massive blokes they care like these Jimin built blokes that had come from other places in Australia he's like I've seen pieces of shit bigger than you my friend you won't last a week here and he just walks in the next place and he did they just stop at each plate and they just consult them and they come up to me and he looks at me and I'm 55 kilos at the time and I'm not military material and he's looking at me and he goes I'm disgusted to even think that I let you in here and he walks on and I'm just thinking I probably should have beat that bit out sorry I miss the first one god damn it anyway so they just yell at us and then literally I'll tell the rest of the military stories and in the next videos but that was my first day so it's just getting yelled at and we'd arrived in the morning at this point and we're just standing in the hallway getting yelled at and then getting handed equipment and stuff and then from there they took us off to like this big parade ground where they they just um gave like this speech or something about you know military I can't remember at this point everyone's just like should are we allowed to like breathe do we have to ask permission for this you know it's literally just just like that like everything is monitored and you're just if you've ever seen metal jacket like the movie it's like that but more evil like seriously it's more evil and you find out later on why they do that okay and I actually you know I'll tell you now why they do that the reason being is you don't notice when you come in straight away but the reason being is everyone comes in with their own set personality and what they want to do is instantly just break it down just smash your personality into personality into bits and take it apart and bring out the raw you and then they want to build on that and build a soldier because everyone comes in with their own little fears and their own like preconceptions about how good they are and stuff like that but then they just come along they just they literally just take it all off just bit by bit and then they say this is the new you and this is what we expected everyone's identical and they pretty much drum that into you by giving you a number like you still have your name and eventually your names like we serve names along your bit of clothing but you get a number everyone gets a number you ask any military guys been out for like 20 years they have a number and they know their number like literally it just friggin two weeks ago I had to call up about my military superannuation because I was trying to like roll into something else and I'd been out of military by this point for friggin six years or something and the first thing they said is what is your number you know basically and I'm like like it just instantly came out and you my number so yeah that is my story of the first day in the army so if you like this story you want to hear more crazy stories from me just share the shit out of this video tell me you know comment do something spastic I don't care just yeah tell me and I'll make more videos and I hope to see you in the next year and if not well then you are good enough to be here