 Welcome everyone to another NARC Survival Live video, just checked into this room, got some snacks today, some crisps, as we say in the UK, there may be potato chips for those of you in the US, seaweed and Oreo cookies, chocolate flavour, my favourite. All safe for vegan consumption as well, as those of you may know, I don't eat anything from animals, but yes in this one, going to be talking about how narcissists react when you leave, because this is something that I have experienced myself a few times, so I know what it's like, I understand those of you who may be going through this right now, or maybe you're watching this video because you're anticipating what might happen if you do leave, and what I should say before I begin is that narcissists are very dangerous, you never really know how they might react when you do leave and go no contact, they can be very unpredictable, it will likely cause a narcissistic injury, so it might not always be the safest option for you to leave, because you never know how they might react, so you need to be ahead of it, you need to anticipate it, because you just never know what they might do to you, which is why I would advise if you've had enough, you're fed up of the narcissist, you're thinking of leaving, you should speak to a licensed therapist or coach first and explain about your situation with them, you can even book a session with me on my website, it's narxifiver.uk, that's really what I would advise you to do, because I'm going to get into it now and it may be quite shocking for some of you if you don't know, I mean remember we are talking about narcissists here, and not always those who have the full blown MPT, but also even those who just have narcissistic traits, because even that is enough for them to react in this way, so with that being said, let's get into it, the topic, when you leave the narcissist, what they might do is try to love bomb you, they may try to pull you back into the relationship, but only if they believe that you are still susceptible to their manipulation, if they believe that they still have the will over your eyes, and you might still fall for their lies and future faking, and you're not going to expose them, you're going to keep it quiet, you're not going to report what they've been doing to you, to the police, or try to take them to court or anything like that, if that's how they see you and what they expect from you, then of course yes they might give it another chance, they might try to hoover you and pull you back in, but if you reject the hoover, or if you made it clear from the very beginning that you're not willing to accept or tolerate their behaviour anymore, you've had enough, you're not going to fall for it anymore, and not only that, but you've confronted them, maybe you've even threatened to expose them as well, if all of these things are true in your situation, and you're leaving the narcissist, you are in for a very rough ride in most situations, because when you do that it will cause a narcissistic injury, they will take it as an attack on their fragile, inflated ego, on their false sense of pride, and it will really affect them, and of course the reason why is because they view you as an extension of themselves, you're this external regulator for their emotions, they see you as their possession, you are something that belongs to them, this object that exists to meet their needs, their property, so if you do anything outside of their control, you want to go off and do your own thing, these are all threats to their inflated ego, which is very fragile, so in that moment it will feel like life or death to them, which is why in that moment, in some situations they may even want to kill you, and the reason why is because they look at it as though it's either them or it's you, and they will do anything to protect their false character, this fragile sense of self-esteem which is regulated through you, so once you leave the narcissist and they know you're not coming back, they know you're not going to give them another chance, it's really all over for you after that, they're never going to see you the same way ever again, and there is nothing that you can do to change it, and not only that, that doesn't mean that you can just go off and live your life how you want to, they will do whatever it takes to stop you, and while you were with them they may have seemed very lazy, it's like they never listened to you, they never did anything for you, you were just wasting your time, years of your life just passed you by, and yet when you leave they will make an extreme effort, they will go to desperate lengths to track you down, they will blame you for everything that went wrong, and they won't take any accountability, they will lie to you, they will gas like you, and they will enforce their flying monkeys and start a spear campaign against you to cut off any support that you may have, they will even try to affect you financially, they will try to get you fired from your job, they will just try to completely ruin your life and put you out on the streets, and many of you when you go through this, you may develop addictions, you may consume more alcohol, you may start using drugs, you may become very depressed, you may even feel suicidal, you may just want to take your own life, because at that point once they've done all of these things to you, they've blamed you for everything, they've tarnished your reputation, now no one looks at you the same way anymore, you may just look at it like what's the point in even living anymore, and I understand, trust me, I know what that's like, I've experienced that myself, I know what it's like to lose a lot of people, who I thought were loyal, I thought they meant something to me, and not only that, but even having close friends who were there for me, and I just felt like I just have to cut them off, I just can't be close to them anymore, and it's like not only does the narcissist try to isolate you, but you will even want to isolate yourself, you won't want any other people to get contaminated, because these smear campaigns, these networks, they are very damaging, they completely destroy people, and I'm sure if you've already been through it, you will know exactly what I'm talking about, it just completely destroys people's self-esteem, it makes everything superficial, narcissistic, where people just don't seem to have any self-awareness, and they objectify the target, and they normalise the abuse, and it escalates with time, it brings out the worst not only in us, but in everyone else as well, overall just entire communities, cities, it just destroys everything, and all of these people, these flying monkeys, they support the narcissist, they act on their behalf, they do their bidding, and the crazy thing about it is, the narcissist just shows this dog determination in just doing whatever they can to destroy you, even at the expense of other people's lives as well, even the very people who are supporting them, a narcissist, if it was within their power, they would gaslight the entire world before they ever looked at themselves and took accountability, as I've said in a video before, before they ever think to look at themselves and think that they made a mistake, they did something wrong, that they treated you bad in the relationship, before they ever even think to do that, they will quite happily gaslight everyone around you into thinking that it's you, as crazy as it sounds, and this is something that I've seen more than once, so I know exactly what it's like, and they all react the exact same way when you leave them, so you do need to be very aware of this, I don't want to put you in danger, I don't want you to be stuck in a difficult situation, which is why you need to be aware that when you leave the narcissist, that these things can happen, it could get very bad for you, but I know exactly what it's like because you've been through all of these things with the narcissist, you may have been abused for years, they did all of these things to you, they lied to you, they future faked, and you remained loyal and devoted throughout that entire time, and at some point you just give up, you've had enough, and you think you can finally find your freedom without them, you think you could just finally move on, and they'll just leave you alone, but it really isn't that simple, in fact it could get a lot worse after you leave, depending on the type of supply that you were to them, if you're an empath, you're the grade A source, you're a very rare type of person, it's likely that they won't be able to find another person like you, so they will do whatever it takes to stop you, even though, and again it's crazy, but I know you may look back at your relationship with the narcissist and you could have been with them for years, for decades, and despite all of that time, you can't ever remember a time where you ever sat down and had a normal conversation with them, were they even asked questions about your life and what you wanted for your future, they never asked about your feelings or needs, and if this is something that sounds familiar to you, where you've been with the narcissist for years, for decades, you've been with them all of this time and you never had a conversation with them, they never really talked to you or asked you about yourself, they never even tried to get to know you as a person, if this sounds familiar to you, this is how you know, they never even saw you as a separate individual person with your own feelings and needs, all they ever saw you as was an extension of themselves, you were just an object all of that time and yet you thought that they loved you, they cared about you, but that's all you were and that's why they never cared to get to know you, I'm sure many of you, you won't even remember a single time when you even sat down with them and had a normal conversation, it was all just the love bombing in the beginning, the lives and the future faking and then it moved on to the devaluation where they were just insulting you and putting you down, criticizing you, but it was never about you, it was all just projections in the beginning of that idealized false character and after that it was projections of everything that they hated about themselves, that's why they don't even need to talk to you because who you are does not matter, it doesn't make any difference and this is how you know that it's never going to change because if you are not important, if who you are doesn't matter, then nothing you do or say is going to make any difference, there's nothing you can do about it because it's not your problem to fix so you can try to leave and move on but it's not going to change anything, they will come after you, they will track you down because they're missing their narcissistic extension, they feel like they're missing a part of themselves because that's what they've assigned to you, they've scapegoated you, they've blamed you for everything and remember they are delusional as well, so they're never going to see it the way that we do, you can't just show them this video and then they're going to understand, they're never going to see it that way, in their minds they've observed you, they know everything they need to know, they've been with you all of this time, they've got you all figured out so there's no reason for them to sit down and have a conversation with you, there's no need for them to ask you anything because in their minds they already know you, when in fact the crazy thing is everything they hate, everything they despise or they think they do about you, these are all just projections of everything they hate about themselves and this is why when you do move on and maybe you run into another empath you realise why it never worked out with a narcissist because it's very different then it's like this person is actually seeing you, they're not judging you, they're actually trying to get to know you and understand you which is something that you will never have with a narcissist, the narcissist is only ever going to view you as an extension of them and that is all that it's ever going to be, it's never going to be any different than that and it doesn't matter what you do, it doesn't matter what you say even if you're just threatening to leave because you think that will make them change, finally they'll come around, they'll understand you it's never going to be like that, as soon as you leave it will cause a narcissistic injury and the smear campaign will follow, it's just a matter of time unless you really weren't that important to them and you weren't really a narcissistic extension in those cases you may just manage to get away especially if you're dealing with the player type of narcissist who has other supplies and you're not the primary then they will be able to move on and forget about you but otherwise they're just going to develop an obsession all they care about is control because they're very insecure about themselves they have a very weak sense of self and it's controlled by everything outside of them this is how if you've noticed they can never be alone if you look back at the entire time that you've known them, there probably was in a single day where they were alone because they don't even know who they are, they manage their perception of self through other people especially through you because their emotions are primarily negative so their sense of self is managed through the narcissistic extension which is who they project everything they hate themselves hate about themselves on to so when you try to leave it will feel like life or death to them and in most situations they will come after you and I know this is not what a lot of you want to hear I wish I could say something different but this is just the reality of it it will be very difficult for you when you're trying to leave and move on the best thing you can do is keep your social circle small and just try to move on quietly maybe don't even tell them that anything is wrong just make them think that you've just disappeared for no reason because otherwise there's not much else you can do they will come after you and anything you try to do to get away from it they're very manipulative they can manipulate police court systems everything they will get you fired from your job they will target you financially they will take your children away from you they will completely ruin your life but that doesn't mean that I advise just supporting the the illusion for the rest of your life and just being obedient to them I myself I left every time every narcissist I dealt with I left I just put up with it I took the fall but it wasn't easy I had to be really strong during that time it was very difficult for me but I know I get on you and I make it look so easy but it was actually very hard so it's not going to be so easy for you to just move on you will go through a lot and that's why I advise speaking to a licensed therapist or coach first so that's really the next step for you that I advise before you leave the narcissist because it's not just you you feel like you've had enough of the abuse you want to move on you want to be free you want to choose how you get to live your own life I know I get it but you have to understand that you are an extension a component a part an extended part of the narcissist whether you know it or not even if you don't think you are you think this is just some psychological theory but then if you do move on you try to leave then you will quickly see that this is real they are attached to you whatever you do your actions your feelings that affects them so that's really how it is this is how they react when you do try to leave and I know it's not what people want to hear but I do just like to bring the truth even though I know yes this may upset a lot of people but you must know what could happen before you do decide to leave so the next step for you is to speak to a licensed therapist or coach someone who understands narcissists I myself I've got over five years of experience with this so I do know exactly what I'm talking about I've dealt with many narcissists throughout my life so you can book a session with me anytime on my website it is Narc Surviver.co.uk and I will be able to help you with that but yes other than that that's all I've got to say for this topic and I hope that it can be helpful to you if you found it helpful you can give it a thumbs up down below let me know your thoughts in the comment section as well let me know if you agree with this or not and your experience if you have tried to leave the narcissist already share the video subscribe and I will talk to you in another one very soon