 Before I start this very problematic video, can I just tell you guys a story, please? All right, it's no mystery that I kind of just say things. I'll put a lot of thought to it as soon as it pops in my head, it comes right out of my mouth. Yo, my dick stinks! Oh my gosh. So sometimes I get myself in a little bit of trouble. Now one thing that I'm not proud of is back in high school I used to say the F slur. I'm so not proud of it, but you guys will always send me clips of when I was 17 and I would say that word. Obviously I haven't said it in like the last few years. In my defense I'll say it was a bit more acceptable, but even back then it was pretty aggressive. I really should have been saying it. And I'm sure three years from now I'll be saying the same thing about the stuff that I say this year. Now this leads me to my story. So I have made the Michael Vick joke probably 50 times. So many times on so many different videos. Well Michael Vick is heavily involved, you know, the sports influencer world. He does a lot of stuff with EA, you know, he's really turned his life around. And one day this company approaches me and they're like, Matt, you know, there's a potential that we got Michael Vick coming in. Do you want to like do a shoot with him? And instantly I'm like, yes, that'd be so cool. And then I was like, hmm, if I do this to Michael Vick and then everybody sends Michael Vick the clip of me, I might be in a lot of trouble. Like Michael Vick might beat my ass is basically what I was thinking. So I'm going to tread as lightly as possible. On today's video, the all time crime team, every single player on this team has gotten in trouble for something. Needless to say, I never did a shoot with Michael Vick. And I'm kind of scared of doing it at this point. So we'll see what happens. On the squad, we got Garrett Bulls, Richie Enkite, Nino, Ben Garland, John Miller, Chris Hubbard. So not a great offensive line. You technically could put Laramie Tunzel here for the gas mask thing, but that's also not a crime. We've just been legal in every state I've lived in. Michigan is legal, California is legal, Arizona is legal. Antonio Brown, Des Bryant, Braylon Edwards. There is someone I couldn't put here at Y receiver too, but you know, he's been a great guy to me. So I'm not throwing him in here. This is what I mean. I got to watch my fucking mouth, bro. My backfield is nasty. Zeke Elliott Golden ticket. I get 99 gold Adrian Peterson and 99 gold Michael Vick at quarterback. So offense is good. The team is at 91 overall, which is it. I got gold 99 Doran Harman. I got gold 99 prime time. Darrell Riva, Xavier Howard, John Abraham, Albert Haynes, where Tyrant Matthew, James Harrison, Amon Brooks, Ray Lewis and Robert Quinn. Now listen, just because the team doesn't mean they did something insane. I'm sure half of you have either gotten arrested or gotten a misdemeanor. Dude, you would get a misdemeanor for jaywalking. I almost got a misdemeanor in college. I was consuming alcohol at the age of 20. I know. I'm a horrible human being. Without saying a huge thank you to Kozo for letting me use his squad. He built this whole squad and he also has a YouTube channel of his own. Make sure you check him out. Oh, now you fucked up. It's 91 overall. And I know we're going to face a team that's at least probably a 97. So it's definitely going to be scary, but we're going to try our best to secure a fat W. Without further ado, let's hop in boys. RG3 Sam Millison, Alan Lazard, Jimmy Ginobili. Love that gamer tag. Playing in the Superdome. I could go for some Superdome right now. See, I can't get in trouble for that. I can say that. All right. Let's go, buddy. All right. First in 10, we're rolling out with Vic. I think A is open. Maybe kind of sort of. Did I drop it? There's no abilities on Michael Vick. I just realized that. Ray Lewis is also in. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Ray Lewis is in at tight end. Why don't we just throw it to him then, huh? Maybe he's coming to the ballgame anyway. I should have known that was going to happen. So this is man. I don't know if that's... Oh, sheesh. We'll let him and Vic with a absolute mallard. I do think I can pick this up though. Either Brown or Edwards should be able to snag this. Let's see if he cuts on X. Oh, he doesn't. But he's there. I got hit. Dang it. I got hit. I'm literally over four to start this game. Tough. Dude, the Bengals Unis are throwing me off. It's been a millennia since I've used Bengals Unis. Last time I would have used it was the Bengals theme team last year. See if we can get to the quarterback. He's definitely passing. Uh-oh. He's throwing underneath. Uh-oh. Good hit. That's fine. That's fine. You held him up for long enough. He did get the first down though. Kind of a bummer. This is going to be the counter. So I'm going to bring Rivas again. Oh, it's not. Uh-oh. We got this. I don't know how we got that sack. Super hot trash, but I'll take it. Does he counter now? No. Shit. Okay. That's fine. Underneath. Yup. Hold him up. Hold him up. Let's go. Yeah. If I can hold this man to a field goal right here, that'd be huge. Oh, dude. If I get squared on my goal, it would be depressed. Oh, the corner route is so open. Guys. Let's see if we can get that X route coming across. Oh, it was there, bro. Oh, bring him down. Bring him down. Yes, sir, Matthew. Oh. Hey. Oh, I did not expect him to cover that ground that fast. Although I think he might have made a mistake. I don't think he's that good. It's time for the screamer off the edge. Same shit right here. Second and 18. Screamer off the edge. It's third and 18. Great defense right there. Okay. He's going to go at the corner, but we're there. It looks like he's gearing up for a field goal, presumably. Fourth and 12. I mean, you did pitch the ball on me. So I kind of expect this to be a fake. But if he fakes it, is he going left side or right side? Right side. I'm all over this. All right. So the man coverage is still on us. Let's see if make something work here. Okay. Okay. That's what I got to do, bro. I got to feed Zeke. Trying to make these crazy passes. I got a golden ticket to Zeke Elliott here. Let's hand him this ball. Yeah. Yes, sir. Super weird run, but it's going to get the job done. So I guess I don't care. Now we're two for six. That was a really ugly start to this game, but it's still a possession game. Zeke gets wide open on the edge. I haven't learned anything yet. Third and three. I'm going to Zeke Elliott up the middle. Let's see it, baby. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, get a juke. Oh, how did that not get him, bro? He's good. He doesn't have inside stuff. I'll be there all day. Yes, sir. Let's go right through him. Bro, are you fucking kidding me? My golden ticket is Zeke. This is why you stay in school, kids. It's why you don't commit crimes. Oh my God. Look at how open both these dudes are. He had a touchdown. He just didn't see it. First and 10. Let's see where he's looking on this one. I feel like he's going to want that corner out, bro. Oh, he wants this. Oh, he still throws the corner. I can't believe it. I thought he wanted that underneath. He's going to go with this counter again, and he's going to get a really good animation right there. This is so annoying. I just had a touchdown. It got taken from me like that, bro. I don't think I can stop this fullback dive. Maybe. I connected with him at the one. That was my 99 time at Matthew 2. That's my best safety. All right, let's go a little underneath to AP. Get out of bounds, please. Honestly, the only thing hurting us right now is our bad first drive. God. Ah! This is a super frustrating game. Yup. It's X. Great play, Matthew. Antonio Brown is out of bounds. Stops our clock. Fourth and two. See what this looks like. Antonio Brown almost stepped behind that first down, and I would have thrown something. You think Zeke Elliott can toast his man? I'd love to see it. Holy shit. He kind of did. Wait. Spike! Can we spike it in time? Nope. I'm going to be honest. I can't really stop this on defense either. This is going to be a tough game. Hopefully we can put up at least a touchdown. It would make me happy. Yeah. There's not much I can do. No X factors and a pretty bad defense. I will try my best, so I won't give up. Ooh. We don't get to him in time. Probably going to run that same counter, I would imagine. Oh, actually. What? What? Well, I guess he tackled him, so I'm not that mad. What is he doing? Throws him right into the speed for this? Oh no. Herschel Walker is going to catch me. Let's go. Huge mess. I don't have no idea what he threw there. But we have a shot to make this 7 to 14. I have no one to blame but myself for this. Third and 21. Okay, Braylon. Shit. I'm going to look for Zeke right over the middle. I got to pray that it's there. He's there. He's got the catch. We can do this. We can actually do this. All right. He does keep me spying me this time. Yeah. What? You're missing two. I have five linemen. You could literally be triple team. That's so silly. Zeke Elliott. Oh my God. That is a horrible throw, Matthew. All right. I'm looking for either Braylon Edwards here or Antonio Brown. Ooh. My man's just kind of there. All right, Matthew. We're back to fourth and reasonable. Okay. I'm thinking that Des Bryant route will be open because he's going to commit to Braylon Edwards here on the slant, right? That's what I'm hoping. This is bad. I just got to beam it up. He pitches it back, fumbles it to himself, rolls on it. That's a bummer. I'm surprised he threw that. Yeah. It was very much covered. Can Antonio Brown get open on the corner route? Let's look for it. Let's look for it. Oh yes, he's got it. No, he doesn't, dude. Because man coverage is the stupidest shit ever. Wait, I missed it. What? Hold on. I don't even know how that's possible. It's like the showbo made the hitsticks miss. I'm sorry, man. It's not going to be there. Wait a minute. I could have put up two points. Oh, Matt. You got it, Matt. You got to get a field goal or something, bro. I, you know, I didn't even mean to throw that, but it kind of worked. I got some yards. He calls it time out. What do you need to score for? Closer to that. Oh no. Same thing on the other side, but we pull them out. That's for the goal. Oh, prime time, prime time. I'm going to make this tackle. Oh my God. I kind of want him to send everybody and I can get Zeke Elliott out of the backfield. Maybe. Ah, that's kind of what I was hoping for. I don't have the facilities for this. Wow. A wide open Adrian Peterson. Also going to get out of bounds. Charlie, but Charlie, boys, we're going to be doing something here. Don't cut me out quite yet. Edwards. Yeah. No, you can count me out. Might throw up that deep bomb again. Or just throw us a corner row. No, I throws the deep one again. I might be able to get this though. Yup. At least I have some cool defensive stats. It's a perfect way to end that right there. I threw 37 passes that game. Oh my God. Well, I'm glad that's over. That's the karma I get for all the jokes I make. I get it. I get it now. All right, boys. Hey, I love you. Thank you for watching as always. I'll see you in the next video. Peace out.