 She wasn't a loving mother. She was physically abusive. I mean, what they say, you get your ass whipped down here, you grow it up. She was verbally abusive. She, exactly what you said in terms of, you couldn't have picked me a better father to be here. You purposely chose a married man to have a baby by. My mother had me at the age of 14. Right? At the age of 14. She had you. So that means she was pregnant at 13. Yeah. So she had me at the age of 14. At the age of 15, she was a heroin addict. So just imagine growing up where your mother, your biological mother, who's supposed to be the first state of nurturing to you is not that. I had distrust for women my whole life. It was never trust. If the person that can bring me into the world abandoned me in that way, I could have trust the woman who said she loved me. That impacted my whole life to this day. Hey, if you ask me, do I trust the woman? I tell you, hell no. J.R., did you see the video about the little boy who pushed his mom from twerking on somebody? Yeah. Have you guys seen the video? All right. So to put it in the short version, there's this little kid. I think he's like 10, right? And he's famous, social media famous, because he'll be having conversations with his mom. And he's real witty and things like that. So they were attending this YouTube event slash adult prom looking thing. And his mom was just, I don't know if she was drunk, high or whatever, but she was having a good time just twerking on the back on this other YouTuber. And he was filming while she was throwing it back. And the little boy ran in and pushed her off of him. And he started crying because he was so embarrassed. I bring that up to say, when I saw the video, I was pissed off. When I looked at the comments, motherfuckers were laughing, right? And often when we're trying to have some of these conversations, what tends to come up is, who hurt you? But your mama black and things of the like without understanding that a lot of men's trauma, distrust of women, disdain for women even comes from their toxic mom. And some of women's trauma comes from their toxic mom as well. But I think we overemphasize male toxicity. My dad wasn't there. And we don't talk enough about female toxicity. She couldn't pick a better father for me. The son husband complex, coming in to defend his mom, whether the father is nowhere to be seen. And he's that de facto hubby or emotional tampon, for lack of a better term. He's seeing this. This is my mom. I shared these because he might be mama's boy or what, two chains, a titty boy or whatever. He's just used to being around his mom and don't want no man touching her. And that's probably what he's become used to. You glorify in modern day prostitution. But you might not think so. You know, you always talk about what a man got to do for you. How he got to come to the table? What he got to provide? You pretty much saying I'm fucking for money. But you ain't saying that. But there's so many ways you're saying it. So for me, it's like, where is the real nurturing of a mother? What I see, what I see most of the time is even with women who have children by Debbie dads, what they want to call Debbie dads, how much she plays a role of being more attentive to that male figure in her life, that child that she would do than the person that she had the child with. So she'll love on him. Like you said, she'll jump in the bed with him. She'll show him love and affection. But she won't do that with a man that has done the providing, that has done the financial provision. It's more like, I ain't going to give you that time and attention, but I'm going to give it to him. You know what I'm saying? Like sometime I go through that. I'm like, well, my old lady, we got a little son together. I'm like, she'll say, Rob, come here. She'll just give him all his love and attention. I'm like, but I don't get that. Some single moms do use their sons as, you know, son husbands in terms of like toys. Like when they want to watch a movie, they're hugged up with the son. Or when they're doing any type of intimacy or want to, I don't want to say love bomb, or basically just get some type of affection. Emotional labor. Yeah, they want the son to take responsibility of that. And even going as far as dressing the son up, like, you know, they're their man. They want him looking fly, you know, so on and so forth. And this even leads up to when he gets into a relationship later on in life, she wants to be the other wife. I had that conversation with my old lady. I told her, your reflection of your mother, she didn't like the hair. She didn't want to hear it. But it hurt her so it hurt her so much that it made her internalize it. When she had to look in the mirror and start making changes. Because when she's seen a mother, she didn't like a mother. She didn't like the way her mother carried herself. You know, their relationship was rocky. So I came in to, you know, to bring a healing to the relationship. But when she's seen the way her mother treated her when she was growing up, they didn't have a good relationship. But she acted just like her in a lot of ways. The most egregious part wasn't even a twerking, ironically. The most egregious part for me was when after he pushed his mom and the dude backed up, everybody started laughing. That was what was egregious, including his mom. Part of the reason, like, you know, people talk about they ain't no man no more. Part of the reason is because a lot of black boys are not taught how to be men, number one. And number two, a lot of black boys are prematurely emasculated by their moms. He was essentially emotionally castrated in that moment. Because his pain wasn't validated. His maturity and foresight, like you put it, wasn't validated. She didn't think enough of him. She didn't respect him enough to think to conduct herself differently in his presence. So he's either going to grow up and go one of two ways. Bitches ain't shit because my mom was one of them. Or women can do no wrong. Super simple. And we don't realize that a lot of what, because, you know, you have this example that was captured on camera, there are a lot of boys who grew up seeing different men coming in and out in the mom's bedroom. There are a lot of boys seeing how different men at the barbershop talked about their mom. About how their moms pretty much prostituted themselves in the community. Nowadays, we're talking about my mom is on only fans and things like that. And we don't realize we are literally castrating these boys. Because in the future, they don't think they deserve any better than their moms. And it's the same reason a lot of girls end up with shitty dudes because they don't think they deserve better than their dads. My dad was literally distant. So I want a man who's emotionally distant because that's what I'm used to. For me to be the type of man that never had a mother growing up with a mother, I was always the one, the man that was educated enough to try to save the woman. But the woman never wanted to listen. And I went through that for 20 years with my ex-wife. I was the savior, right? Because I was like, damn, I don't want that. You know what I mean? I want to trust the woman so bad that I'm willing to give her everything she needs. But it never played in my favor. The energy was like, I just like being what I am. And that's I am what I am. You met me that way, so accept me that way. But it was always like, why are you not opening up to me? Because I don't trust you. And I'm laying it out there for you. And I'm telling you why I don't trust you. Because your actions show me that you don't trust you. It's kind of like what me and J.R. were talking about. Like on YouTube, the more substantive your content is, the harder you have to work. For sure. And as a man, especially with women, it seems that way. Like the niggas who are borrowing her car, the niggas who live at her house and don't pay rent, they don't ever get cheated on. Nah. The brother who is working a lot and because of that, he can't spend as much time with the woman, that's who gets left. And that's who has to not only pay the mortgage of the house he gets kicked out of, he has to finance her and her deadbeat boyfriend. So like, and this is kind of what I've been saying because men are eating this stuff. The next generation of boys are seeing this and they're like, yo, it's easier being a fuck boy. Yeah. It's easier being an ancient nigga. You get better treatment from women. The dude who doesn't need to drive your car, he's not attentive enough to me. He's not buying me enough gear. One girl, she was like, the dude, like he lying her house with roses and stuff like that. She looked at the man and said, well, it doesn't quite look like the TikTok videos. Hmm. But your boyfriend, your ex-boyfriend who needed $20 to buy a for some shit, that's who gets your undying love and affection. And my biggest thing is like, okay, we can complain about that and stuff like that. But the next generation of boys, this boy in this clip that we're talking about, they're seeing this and they have one of three choices to make. Either I'm going to say fuck it and I'm going to be what works. Either I'm going to leave and take my resources to another community, another country to hold nine. Or I'm going to be sadomasochistic and I'm going to resign myself to being women's tampon, women's punching bag, women's women's stress ball, and all the bullshit that they have, they're going to take it out on me. And what I've been screaming is like, women, y'all got to take this shit seriously. And you have to start telling the truth. The truth is this man that you're naming that he's attentive and he is a provider and he's a protector and shit like that. Those niggas get it the worst. And that's why that's another way that the man is fear fails because it says, oh, you just got to get your bag up and shit like that. Without mentioning rich niggas get treated on the most. For sure. For sure. Poor guys. Oh, we're going to say he got a good dick just to rationalize it. But they get undying affection and love and commitment in the whole nine. He's at home playing 2K. He don't do shit, but it makes you feel good to take care of this puppy that you have. This grown male puppy that you have. But versus a man who if you could only empathize with the root of what caused his disposition and what maintains his need to be stoic in the whole nine, you would get the sun to move just like you said last time from this man. But again, there's that disconnect and it pisses me off sometimes. But it seems like that empathy isn't there. But to jump to you, JR, man, what was there something that you observed from your mother, from female figures that you look to as the paragon of femininity?