 Is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by Maxwell House. The coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. Slap a bunch of poets together, and at least one thing is bound to emerge. A new definition of love. In one of his flossier moments, Shakespeare wrote, Love is a smoke raised with a fume of sighs, which is very nice if you go in for that sort of thing. The messers Thurber and White, on the other hand, viewed the emotion with a more practical eye. Love, they said, is the strange bewilderment which overtakes one person on account of another person. In Springfield, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, the Andersons probably have ideas of their own on this ethereal subject, like, well, like this. I think I'll have a little more rice. Would you mind passing it, Betty? Yes, Father. Jim. Honey, let's not start that business about rice being fattening. It isn't. Well, you were the one who said that you're wasteful. Margaret, rice is not fattening. It's the stuff you put on it. Like butter. You put butter on anything that's fattening. But have you ever seen me put butter on my rice? No, dear. You darn right you haven't. Kathy, please pass the gravy. Here you are, Daddy. Now that you've mentioned it, what's wrong with my waistline? I haven't gained a pound in 20 years. What was that? Well, maybe two pounds. Daddy. Look at Bud. Why? I've been looking at him for 15 years. He isn't eating his dinner. Well, maybe he's got problems. Bud. Bud. Yes, dear. Dear. Bud, what's the matter with you? Jim, maybe he doesn't feel well. He's in love. Kathy, mind your own affairs and eat your dinner. Well, he is. Bud, do you feel all right? Bud. I'll answer. Sit down. Don't you want me to answer the phone? It didn't ring. Will you please sit down? Something rang. I can still hear it. Kind of like bells. Jim, I think he is ill. He's in love. Love. Bud, if you don't feel well, go to your room. If you do feel well, eat your dinner. Maybe it's the doorbell. I didn't hear anything. Bud. I just heard it again. Jim, something is wrong. I don't like the look in his eyes. You know, for the first time in her life, Kathy may be right. Look at that idiotic grin. On your brother. He looks like a cross between Boris Karloff and a contented cow. All right, Bud. Let's stop all this ridiculous moaning and groaning. What's wrong? Dad. Yes? Have you ever been in love? Why, Bud? I mean, really in love. With a girl. Well, your mother wasn't exactly a rhinoceros. You ought to see her eyes, Dad. They're blue. The bluest eyes you ever saw. Both of them. Only has two, huh? And hair. The most beautiful hair. Like the sun shining on the home plate. Bud, is this a girl or a double-header between the Yanks and Cleveland? It's a girl, the most wonderful girl in the whole world. Fine, now eat your dinner. Food? How can you think of food at a time like this? I don't think I'll ever eat again. Not ever. I remember when I first met your mother. I went through the same thing. People thought I was going to starve to death. And did you? No, I managed to pull through. Daddy. Yes, Cathy? How long didn't you eat? Oh, I don't know. I don't remember exactly. I know I missed practically one entire lunch. Jim, Dad. What is it, lock and bar? Who? What do you want? When you and Mom fell in love, what'd you do? Don't you think you're getting a little nosy? No, I mean, how did you know you were in love? How often did you see one another? Oh, a few times a week, something like that. Jim, you were there every night and you know it. Margaret, you're being absolutely no help at all. Bud isn't serious about this girl, are you, Bud? Boy, am I. I mean, he isn't thinking about marriage or anything ridiculous like that, are you? What is ridiculous about marriage? Margaret, he's 15 years old. Oh, I don't mean for Bud. Well, we weren't talking about Errol Flynn. Naturally, Bud isn't going to do anything foolish. Not yet at any rate. Of course not. When he gets a little older, that'll be time enough for him to do something foolish. That's not what I meant and you know it. Bud is a sensible boy, aren't you, dear? Sure. And he knows that he's much too young. He has a lot of time for girls, haven't you, dear? Boy, have I. Bud, let's look at this thing in a more practical manner. You know, going out with girls can be kind of expensive. Flowers, candy, movies. Well, that's one of the things I wanted to talk about, Dad. You see, I only get a dollar and a quarter a week. Yes. How can you take a girl out on a dollar and a quarter a week? You can't. Well, that's why I was thinking... Bud, if you're really sincere about this girl, if you think your life and happiness depend on her, well, do what I did. What did you do when you were sitting on her front porch? Gosh, what kind of fun can you have on a front porch? Oh, don't be stupid. Jim. Bud, when I was courting your mother, all we did was sit on her front porch. Didn't we, honey? Yes, dear. Night after night, week after week. We just sat there and held hands. And looked at the moon. A large, lovely, friendly moon. Never got so sick and tired of looking at anything in my whole life. Why, Jim... Well, let's face it, the same darn thing every night. Just sit there and look at the moon. There were a great many other boys who were perfectly willing to take your place. But I wouldn't let them, would I? You certainly wouldn't. You were the stubbornest thing I've ever known. I was cute. And I knew a good thing when I saw it. Dad. Now what? When you were sure that Mom was the right one for you. I mean, when you knew that you couldn't live without her, then what'd you do? Well, I... What did we do, Margaret? Well, you made me get all dressed up in my best bib and tucker, and you took me home to visit your family. That's right. I can still feel my knees knocking. Was I ever scared? Not half as scared as I was. Well, it turned out all right, though, didn't it, honey? Mm-hmm. They fell in love with you just like I did. But where are you going? I'll be right back, Dad. I have to make a phone call. You come back here and eat your dinner. Leave the boy alone, Jim. It's his first big love. It's got to get used to it. Love. Betty, you haven't said a pleasant word all evening. What's gotten into you? She isn't eating her dinner either. Why don't you do your homework? Do it over again. Can't I just keep still? All right, but see that you do. Betty, do you feel all right? I feel fine. She had a fight with Billy Smith. I thought you were going to keep still. Well, if I did, nobody'd ever get to know anything around here. We'd find out somehow. Betty, if you and Billy Smith had another argument... I never want to see him again as long as I live. I thought you were getting along fine. We were until he met that Eloise March, that little snip. Who's Eloise March? Just the worst little flirt in town, that's all. And if he wants her, he can have her. Betty, I wouldn't get all upset about it if I were you. I'm not upset. I'm not the least bit upset. I just wouldn't give you three cents for all the men in the world, that's all. I would. This Eloise March must be quite a caring kid. She's a vampire, that's what she is. Is she pretty? How do I know? I've never even seen her. I'm through with men. I'm going to have a career. Taking it pretty hard, isn't she? Well, she and Billy have been friends for so long. What do you think we ought to do? Mommy. What is it, dear? Aren't you glad I don't do anything except break when... Yes, dear, you're a great help. Well, it's all set, Dad. I called her and she's coming over. Who's coming over? My girl. But why in the name of all that's holy? Well, you said to bring her over, didn't you? I said no such thing. But that's what you did. You said so. But this is not the time to bring a girl around for having enough trouble with girls. Your sister and Eloise March and... How did you know? How did I know what? About Eloise March. What about Eloise March? That's my girl. Oh, no. Now, that's wonderful coffee. Welcome words you can hear across your breakfast table from the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, ma'am, he'll be there, that number one expert, because he's your husband. Naturally, we think we're pretty fair experts. Our Maxwell House Coffee is America's favorite brand. But the person with the final say, the one we both want to please, is that husband of yours. And if you'll make his breakfast coffee, Maxwell House, we're mighty sure he'll tell you, mmm, that's wonderful coffee. Matter of fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. You see, we know there's no coffee made like Maxwell House, and that's why no coffee tastes like Maxwell House. It's the only coffee with that famous good to the last drop flavor. Get Maxwell House tomorrow and start serving it to your husband. And if he doesn't say it's the best coffee he ever tasted, why send us the can and unused portion, and we'll gladly refund the price you paid. Our address is on the front of every one of those familiar blue tins. Tomorrow, find out how much the world's greatest coffee expert enjoys Maxwell House Coffee. Always good to the last drop. These are parlous times in which we live and days of great decision. In the world, men of substance watch the headlines with an anxious eye, keeping one ear to the ground and the other glued to the radio, which is a neat trick if you can do it. Jim Anderson may not quite succeed, but in the living room of the White Frame House on Maple Street, he's giving it quite a try, like this. Margaret, why don't people leave things where they belong? Margaret! What is it, Jim? What happened to my large map of Korea? It was right here on the table. What's the matter? All those maps on the floor, and Bud's friend is going to be here any moment. Margaret, I'm waiting for a very important broadcast. It's coming from all over the world, even Moscow. I don't want to miss a word. This is the only radio in the house that's any good, and you know it. Oh, right, but I still don't see why you need eight million maps scattered all over the floor. There are five maps. Where's the one of Korea I had on the table? Which table? This table. What is this? That's the map. Of course, you couldn't dream of lifting up a big, heavy magazine. Well, the magazine had no business being there in the first place. Dear, if I go into the kitchen, do you think you can find your way back to the radio? If I get lost, I'll send up smoke signals. One is by land, and two is by sea. He thinks it's so funny. How did I know it was under the magazine? People go around hiding your maps under magazines. I think all a man has to do is go around looking under magazines. Bud! The doorbell rang. Bud, the doorbell rang. I'm combing my hair. He's combing his hair, Jim. What do you want me to do about it? This is the door. Well, if you're going to be logical, wait until a man has something really important to do, maps all over the floor. All right, keep your shirt on. I'm coming. Dizzy little character probably hasn't got a brain in her head anyway. Hello there. Is this the Anderson residence? It certainly is. Come on in. I'm Eloise Marchand. Don't tell me you're Mr. Anderson. How did you ever figure that out? Oh, I'd have known you anywhere, Mr. Anderson. Really, I would. Loverboy's told me so much about you. Loverboy has, hasn't he? Oh, yeah. That was nice of him. Loverboy! Bud, your friend is here. The thundering herd will be down in a minute. He's fixing his makeup. I don't mind. Well, let's go into the living room and sit down. All right. My, you have a lovely home. It's so, so... I was hoping you'd notice that. We've tried to make it one of the gossiest homes. And you, sir? Margaret, Bud's friend is here. Please? Just a minute, dear. Mrs. Anderson will be right in. Then you can all go into the den and have a nice little chat. My, all those great big maps. What are they? Oh, just maps of the world. I use them for reference on the important news broadcast. You do? Why, how clever. I just listen to the broadcast. I don't deliver them. How clever to use maps. And of the whole world. It's just like I told Bud. Men are so, so... Gosh. Aren't they ever? Margaret. Gee, you look nice. Oh, Bud. I don't either. Why, I threw on just any old thing. You sure threw them in the right place, didn't you? Quite a picture. Why, Mr. Anderson. And speaking of pictures, why don't you show Miss Marsh the pictures in the den now or some place? But you said when you took Mom over to your house... Bud, let's not have any arguments about it. There's going to be a very important broadcast. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Miss Marsh, but I was busy in the kitchen. Mom, this is Eloise. I'd have known you anywhere, Mrs. Anderson, but has told me so much about you. I'm sure he must have. No, it wasn't the phone, it was the doorbell. I'll be right down. It wasn't for you. Margaret, why don't you take Bud and Eloise into the den and give them some milk and cookies or something? Milk and cookies. Holy cow, Dad. Mr. Anderson, you're so droll. Margaret. Why don't we show Eloise the pictures we took this summer, Bud? I'm sure she'd like that. But I thought when Dad took you over to his house... Hi, what's all the excitement about? Hey, Betty, why don't you go back upstairs? What for? We'll explain all about it later. Go ahead, dear. Why can't I stay down here? I know, you must be Kathy. Uh, that's Betty. Oh, of course, Betty. I'd have known you anywhere, Bud's told me so much about you. I'm Eloise March. No! Margaret, why don't you all go into the den? After what she did to me. What, who did to you? Why don't you take Eloise into the den? She came here to smear at me. That's what she did. Eloise? I don't know what she's talking about. I swear I don't. Oh, yes, you do. You know just what I'm talking about. If you'd all just go into the den... I'll see you here, Betty. You have no right to talk to Eloise that way. I'll talk to her any way I choose. You will not. I certainly will. Betty, if you'll just go upstairs like a good girl... Why don't you all go into the den? Look at her. I think she's so wonderful. But, honey, you know I don't care about anybody but you. You told the same thing to Billy Smith. I never did. But... And Janie Liggett's sister said you told the same thing to Russell Spencer. Eloise, you didn't. She certainly did. Betty. And he was going steady with Miriam Swift all the time. And you knew it. I did not know it. But... Jim, it won't do any good. It has to. They're going to start the broadcast any minute. Look, if you'll all just go into the den... Eloise, how could you? How could I what? Say what you said when you said you never said what you said before. Well, I never did say it before. You certainly did. But, see, how can you stand there and let her talk like that? You told me you never went out with older men. I don't. Billy Smith's 18. And you went out with him. Well, only three or four times and that doesn't mean anything, does it? You've only been out with me twice. But you're standing on my math. Just because I go out with a boy three or four times, what does that prove? Betty. You went out with Billy Smith and you told me you didn't go out with Billy Smith. Not since Tuesday. But you're walking all over Alaska. Just because he's older than I am and gets a bigger allowance. He does? He does. So does everybody else. Why don't you go out with them? Don't worry. She will. Them? Why don't you all go into the telephone? I go out in my whole life. But why don't you take Miss March to the door? She just said I was nasty. He doesn't have to take me to the door. Now or ever. And that goes for me too. If you'll just go into the den. I'm sorry I ever came into this house. That's why. And I'm sorry. Brazen little stuff. She was. And I spent my whole allowance on a box of candy. And for her. If no one has an objection, now may I listen to the broadcast? A whole dollar and a quarter gone. Bud, why don't you go into the kitchen and fix yourself a sandwich? A sandwich? How can you eat with a broken heart? Easier than with an upper plate. Now stop acting like an idiot and behave yourself. Women are just a curse of humanity. Yes dear, we're awful. Oh, I didn't mean you mom. Margaret, will you take that boy out and drown him? I've got to have quiet in here for the broadcast. All right bud, let's go inside now. Mother, it was Billy. It was Billy Smith. He explained all about Alois March. Betty, please. He's a psychology major and he was just using her for research. That's fine dear. And he's coming over right away with Russell Spencer and Marion Swift. No. What? I've had enough of this circus tonight. This is my house too. I live here just as much as anybody and I'm going to listen to this broadcast. But father, I told them. I don't care what you told them. I'm going to hear the broadcast and that's final. Betty, there's no reason why you and your friends can't go down to the play room. But we'll have to sneak around on our tiptoes. Quiet, please. At nine o'clock, due to this unforeseen difficulty, the news broadcast originally scheduled for this period will not be heard. In its place, we bring you that heartwarming tale of young love. The romance of Susan Blake. Oh no. At a time like that, I guess there just isn't much for father to say. But I know one place where he's always got some mighty important words. When it comes to coffee, he can tell you exactly where to get the most in flavor for your money. Sure, father knows best. He's the world's greatest coffee expert. Just like that man of yours. And we think it will really pay you to get your husband's expert opinion on our Maxwell House coffee. Because when he tries a cup and says, best coffee I ever tasted, you'll know Maxwell House gives you the most for your money. The most in flavor, the most in pure pleasure. Get a pound of Maxwell House tomorrow. See how your husband takes to that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. And count all the cups of truly good coffee you get from that one pound. We think you'll be convinced. Your coffee by is Maxwell House coffee. Because it's always good to the last drop. It's midnight in Springfield and all is quiet in the White Frame House on Maple Street. That is, all should be nice and quiet. But you know how it is with the Andersons. Noon or midnight, there's never a dull moment like this. Jim. Jim. What? What's the matter? Jim, wake up. What for? Listen, I just heard something downstairs. Oh, go to sleep, Margaret. It's probably nothing but a burglar. Jim, are you going downstairs or do you want me to call Bud? No, never mind. I'll go. Be very careful, dear. Please. Sure, I'll be careful. If it is a burglar, just call the police. That's a very good idea. Thank you very much. Wake a man out of a sound sleep and then expect him to go roaming around in the dark. Oh, Jim. One of these nights I'm going to fall down the stairs and break my neck. Serve him right, too. Call the police. What did you think I was going to do? Wrestle with him? All right. Oh. Hiya, Dad. What's up? I am. What are you doing down here? I was hungry. You want a sandwich? No, thank you. What happened to your broken heart? Oh, I don't know. I was an awful boob, wasn't I? No, not exactly. But you're getting there. Now hurry up and get back to bed. Your mother's worried enough for one night. Okay. Oh, say, Dad. Yes? Did you put a dollar on my dresser? We'll talk about it tomorrow. Dad. Now what? Thanks for everything. Go to bed. You bet. Good night, Dad. Good night. Love her, boy. It's a wonderful feeling to start the day singing. Life is swell when you keep well. That's why post-40% brand flakes have become America's largest selling brand flakes. Every one-ounce serving of post-40% brand flakes provides brand to help prevent irregularity due to lack of bulk in the diet. They're so delicious tasting and so good for you, too. Tomorrow, serve America's favorite brand flakes. Post-40% brand flakes. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Boggy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Oh, it's Dragnet. Next Tuesday, Laugh with Bob Hope on NBC.