 Hey guys, and fellas on my left, I'm probably a cult on a cult, so I may see you in the end of this video, that's why I pop in. Hey what's up you guys, welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, hi, hello, I'm Lydia, and if you are then you probably don't know what's going on. Three weeks ago today, I was broken up with a mutant car split, and I'm still really emotional about it. Thanks BPD. I wanted to talk about breakups and mental health. I'd rather someone say it to my face than to have me go in and on and just send a text. I thought I'll have more respect than to just send a text. Breakups are one of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to having mental illness. For me I have BPD, bipolar, PTSD, depressive disorder, insomnia, and latent disorder, and anxiety. And when you throw all that into a jumble, it's hard to manage anyway, but you add a break up. It sends the BPD off down a bad development road. The anxiety one running everywhere. I've been too anxious that you need the last two to finish the session and left early both days because I couldn't cope with what was going on. Today we had a really triggering start. We were just talking about 13 reasons why, the original suicide scene. And then it was talking about rape, and it was just really, it really plagued my emotions and triggered me a bit. But once I got my hands up I could break up. I feel like the worst way you can break up with someone is via text. I wasn't even a text, it was an Instagram DM. On a completely side note, Hogwarts Legacy came out today and I've got it. My switch is currently downloaded from the software. I'm so excited to play that. I've been waiting since June. I'm out on the switch because my switch is the only console I have at the minute. When I got the break up text I immediately fell back to a self-destructive way that I was looking for something to self harm with. Luckily I don't have anything in my room. I keep my room. My room is my safe space. I don't have any weapons in here that I could use. I have scissors, but that's because I do scrapbooking. So my suicide align the issue and kind of died out on its own. Oh, sorry, lust eye tangent. I've got the best advent calendar. If you don't know, I love dogs. I think when you get broken up with the one thing you have to remember is it's not a reflection on you. It reflects on how a person felt, I guess. That doesn't mean you can't be angry at them. Of course you can be angry at them. It's normal to feel abandoned by a person. So those of you who have BPD and do struggle with abandonment, let me tell you it's completely normal to feel abandoned if you break up with someone, even if you're still friends. Even if you thought you found the one for life. If you want to see the break up video that I did, I'll link it up there for you. I did a video on relationships and mental health, I will link that up there for you. And that's all I've got to say. I know this video is short and everywhere. I'm very discombobulated. Thanks for watching, my Patreon's linked up there and the description down below. If you want to make a one-time donation to the channel, the PayPal link is in the description down below along with my email address for PayPal. If you want to follow me on other social medias, links are down below. Thanks for watching and I'll see you in another video. Peace.