 How do you get a man to prioritize you? Well, tonight we're gonna talk about five things you can do to truly make a difference in this dating, mating and relating dynamic. All right, let's talk about some of the issues we face with dating. And that is the early stages when you're just connecting with someone before you're actually meet them for a date. And then afterwards when you're dating them and you've gone out somewhere between say one and 10 dates, a couple of things I'm gonna suggest to you will help you, help you, help him prioritize you going forward. Now, let's just face it, in the early stages of dating today, most people are meeting through an online connection through the internet. They're using apps like here, let's pull up an app here. They're using apps like Bumble or Hint. Can you see that? Is it popped up yet? Bumble or Hinge? There we go, there's a picture of somebody. Bumble or Hinge, just to name a few. Certainly there's the dating sites that have apps as well. And it's rather confusing the early stage of dating, the communication between two people, right? It can be very frustrating because the reality is is you're strangers to one another and because you're strangers, you're not prioritizing them in any sense in any way. You're not prioritizing them because you don't know this person. Now, for some people who have stellar dating profiles, I'm talking about quality photographs, okay? Really a quality curated essay that doesn't have a lot of negativity. Oh my God, can I just read you really quickly an essay that I read that really just pissed me off, okay? It says, a non-negotiable. This is what she wrote, a non-negotiable. An egocentric narcissist, never been married, no contact with his children, expecting women to fawn all over him, jackass wasting my time. This is seriously, look, this was written. Can you see that? Someone wrote that on their profile, okay? And I mean, that's an immediate turn off. Like, why would you want, I mean, like for them to actually think that would be something attractive, there's no way I would make this person a priority. Yeah, maybe if this woman was absolutely beautiful, there are men out there that will chase the physical attributes of this person. But she literally starts off with negativity. There's no possible way that someone's gonna prioritize that person. So when I said before, creating the stellar profile, in at least in this early stages is gonna not guarantee you, but most likely will help increase your chances of being a priority to this person in the early stages of communication. Now, this video is for those that have already gone on a few dates, maybe they're somewhere in the first to 10 date period of time, what will make this person put you as a priority in their life? Now, one other thing I want to say about communication, I gotta tell you, even for myself, communicating via text messaging in the early stages can be absolutely frustrating because it's challenging to, how should I say this? To respond, like you have your own personality, your own sense of humor, when you respond to someone and your personality and sense of humor might not mesh with someone else's personality and their sense of humor. So just recognize that this is some of the challenges we face in the early stages of communicating. And that's why some people aren't a priority to you because you don't even mesh in your communication styles, particularly when it comes to texting. And I can tell you from my own personal experience, my communication gets so misinterpreted, and that's so misinterpreted, on occasion has gotten rather misinterpreted because my style is different than other people's style. Okay, so now let's get into the bulk of the five things you might want to consider doing. To make him a priority, and by the way, what I'm about to share goes both ways for men and women alike. This isn't singular to one gender, okay? So both people doing this will create a priority in each other. Now, the first one actually has to do with physical appearance, okay? Now, as I kind of said, creating an awesome dating profile is going to increase your chances. But what I mean about physical appearance, what I'm really talking about is radiance, radiance. I've mentioned this in a previous video and I can't stop talking about radiance. There's something about a person that radiates love, that radiates positive energy, that radiates kindness, that radiates confidence. There's something incredibly attractive about that. And because of that, there's a stronger propensity to want to chase this person, to make them a priority because it feels so rare. I gotta tell you something. In my past experiences, I've gone on more first dates where women are wearing resting bitch face. They're literally, there's an attitude about them that lacks any radiance. And right from the get go. And by the way, here's what women will do. And I'm guilty of what I'm about to say. I'll put them in the, I wanna sleep with them category, or I put them in the, I'd like to date them category. And let me tell you, just because a guy might chase you, it might simply mean he puts you and I want to sleep with you category. We also call that we want to eff you category, okay? So you may not be radiating, you may be wearing resting bitch face, but still you might think, oh men are approaching me, but just remember it's quite possible they're chasing sex. But Jonathan, men love the hunt. They love the chase. Ladies, I mean, you hear this narrative from other coaches and you assume that that means they're chasing a relationship with you. Men don't chase a relationship. In fact, they kind of tiptoe into relationship, except when a woman is responding in these five ways. And if she's operating from a place of radiance, there's a greater chance that he will put you on the top of the list compared to all those others that are in the maybe category. And let me just say this, of the men who are the users, the spenders and the growers, if you follow my channel and you know, users of the people in it for short-term game, those are the love bombers, those are the players, those are the entitled people, those are the gold diggers out there. They're only in it for the short-term. None of this applies to them, okay? If they are a grower and builder, those are the people that genuinely want a significant and serious relationship. Those people absolutely respond to these five things. And I love number four. It's one of my favorites, okay? And the spenders are the people that want companionship, they want connection, they want sex. They're probably a bit wounded. They just not ready for commitment. They want a piece of you. They want you to be the placeholder in their life. Some of them are closer to the user category and some of them are just about to become grower builders. These are the people you got to watch out for. And I highly recommend it. If you need some support with that, look, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. That's my area of expertise and there's a link below in the comments as well. Okay, so number two, how a man will prioritize you. If you share similar, you have similarities between the two of you. The more two people are closely aligned, the more apt you're gonna wanna spend time with them. Maybe you're both into pickleball. Maybe you're both into standup paddleboard. Maybe you're both into comedy clubs. Maybe you're both into sushi. Maybe you're both into cooking. The more aligned you are with things, the more similar you are to things, the more likely this person will want to spend time with you. The more alignment between two people, whether you're both horse people, whether you're both dog people, maybe you both have dogs, you can take them for walks. Maybe you're a spiritual people. You're like in my genre, maybe you're a psychonauts. If anyone knows what a psychonaut is, I certainly would put on the top of the list a woman is a psychonaut because I am. And I most likely would prioritize that person. You have to Google that one for yourself. Okay, so the more you have similarities, the more apt he's going to want to reach out to you and want to spend time with you. So if you don't have much in common and you're only relying on that physical attractiveness to carry the relationship, you're going to be struggling. Now, I invite you all to do something that I call know thyself, know thyself. And let me give you an example, because I know myself. This was some years ago, I swiped right on a woman who happened to live a couple of miles from me. Beautiful woman, attractive woman, okay, to me, okay. And she swiped with me as well. And she wrote me and I wrote her back. But I noticed in her photographs, she's skydiving. She's mountain climbing, she's repelling. She's a sail, you know, parasailing. I mean, she's a jock, right. And I wrote her back. I said, you know, judging by your photograph, you seem like a very adventurous person and incredibly active person. And I'm going to assume that you want that type of guy. You probably want a jock type of guy. And she said, absolutely. And you know what I said to her? That's not me. I'm more of a Netflix chill. I'm more about exploring the depths of philosophy. I can spend five, six, seven hours talking about ancient aliens with someone because that's where my jam is, or I can talk about spirituality stuff. That's where I get off on. That's me. Now, that doesn't mean that she doesn't like that, but I'm well aware that I probably wouldn't fit into her life. We don't have the same similarities. So she might be an adrenaline junkie. That's not me. I'm like, I reached a point in my life, like, you know, I'm not quite senior citizen yet, but I feel like I'm getting there that I like to chill. My point is, I was aware enough to know we didn't have similarities and it didn't make sense to engage with this person even because they're attractive. Now, could I missed out on the love of my life? Possibly, but you know what? I'm also a big proponent of she probably, I'm being mindful of what's probably best for her too. So similarities. Number three, this is so hugely important and it's proximity. Proximity, do you live near each other? The closer two people live, the more a man will make you a priority. We men are lazy. If you live 30 miles away, we're gonna want you to come to us. And if it feels like a pain in the ass to see you, we're less likely to see you. Proximity, by the way, proximity breeds continuity. Write this down. Someone write this down in the chat box. Proximity breeds continuity. Continuity builds trust and trust leads to commitment. Oh my God, I just can't remember how I said that. Proximity breeds continuity. Continuity builds trust and trust leads to commitment. Oh, I just spilled all over myself. Okay. Proximity, this is so hugely important. But Jonathan, I'm talking to somebody who lives hundreds of thousands of miles away. He's on the moon, but we text each other all the time. We're texting each other not morning, noon and night. And this has been going on for four years. Ladies, you're in a cyber relationship. I can't begin to tell you how many of you are loony. I'm sorry, it's loony to spend more, okay, spending more than a month or two. Communicating only through text messaging is ludicrous to me. I think it's insanity. I mean, if nothing else, get on the telephone, do a FaceTime with somebody. I was watching 90 day fiancee where a man for four years was communicating with a woman who turned out to be catfish. For four years, he communicated with her via text. He flew to the Dominican Republic and got ghosted there. And it turns out that the woman, these were pictures of a woman who lived in, actually a city not too far from where he lived. The catfisher lived in Dominican Republic. Folks, if you're not getting on a FaceTime or Zoom quickly, you only have yourself to blame. Let me repeat this. If you're watching this video right now and you are currently in a relationship with someone where all you communicate with text, you've never met him, you've never seen him other than his photographs, I insist right now that you schedule a FaceTime with him. If he doesn't do it or she doesn't do it, trust me, you've been catfished and go see a therapist because you're gonna need a lot of therapy to heal from the emotional investment you made with this person who isn't real. Is this sinking in? I swear to you, I'm sure somebody's watching this and I guarantee you many of you are in this dynamic right now. Proximity breeds continuity. Continuity builds trust and trust leads to commitment and prioritization. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. First off, hit that like button right now if this is resonating with you and start sharing this video with friends. Number four, and I said this was my favorite, responsiveness, responsiveness. It is so frustrating in the early stages of communicating with someone or in the early stage of dating, somebody who is not responsive. It is fucking disrespectful. We hide behind these devices and I wanna read to you, Jeff Brown, if you're not familiar with Jeff Brown, by the way, someone write Jeff Brown, he wrote the book, he wrote two books, and an uncommon bond and grounded spirituality, these two books, Jeff Brown. He's actually, this book, wait a minute, he actually sent this to me in the mail, very, we communicated a few times. He had an interesting post this morning on his Facebook page, I wanna read it to everyone. It says, timely communication is essential in all forms of relationship. It is also fundamental to the conscious relationship act. If you have an issue with someone, someone's way of relating, express it at that time or soon thereafter. Give them the benefit of your feelings at the time when they can remember the context and speak to their actions. If you do, there is a very real possibility that they will make an apology or learn how to relate to you in a healthier way. If you don't, there is a very real possibility that your unexpressed feelings will congeal into resentment. Ultimately seeping out in a way that undermines the connection altogether. Bottom line, you have a right to be upset with someone, but they also have a right to hear it. There is no substitute for direct timeliness communication. I am gonna tell you something in the book, where's that stupid book? Where is that book, the rules? Oh, the book, the rules. I mean, this is garbage for teaching game playing. Although there's some, there, okay, there is some value in this book because it does encourage individual empowerment, but there is so much fucking game playing, particularly in the area of timeliness. Listen, I'm gonna say somebody who doesn't have timely communication with you, they might temporarily chase you because they're feeling a sense of anxiety going on. It might create a temporary chase, but trust me, being, you know, having a lack of responsiveness to a grower builder like myself, that's a, that's a no-no. I mean, that's not just a red flag, that's a deal breaker. Having timely communication, particularly when you're text messaging, I've witnessed this on the dating sites. Women will write a message, you write them back very responsive, and then they take a day or two to respond, and I'm like, done. If you don't have the courtesy, and by the way, this is true for men too. Let's not give men a pass. If you don't have the courtesy to respond in a timely manner, you're a fucking jackass in my opinion. And note, if I disrespect in anyone, I apologize, but I'm saying that is true insensitive. And by the way, and if you have conflict and you stonewall, that is one of the most insensitive things you can do to a person. I understand you might have a need to process something, and we all might need a half hour, an hour or two to cool off if there's something going on, but I'm gonna tell you something. Living with a mother who did this to me, and my siblings, and my father, it was emotionally devastating as a child to be with a person who supposedly loves you, but could literally shut down emotionally for not one or two, but three to four days emotionally. Stonewalling or unresponsiveness is the cruelest, I think one of the cruelest things you can do to a person. And I will tell you, I won't prioritize someone who isn't responsive. And the fifth, reciprocity. Ladies, you're all frustrated with dating, like you give so much, so much to men. And I get it, and I get it, a relationship should be a reciprocal thing. But in the early stages of dating, there's so much expectation of how the men are supposed to lead and the men are supposed to do, and you just sit in your feminine energy and receive. I'm gonna tell you something. If a woman is sitting back in her feminine energy and she's not actively reciprocating in the early stage of dating, I don't make this person a priority. This is why I know this goes against the grain. Many of you will say, no, no, no, Jonathan, but I'm a big proponent. If a guy took you out on a date or two, then you initiate a date, you plan it, you take him somewhere, and you demonstrate appreciation through reciprocity. Demonstrate appreciation through the actively taking turns of doing things together. It builds respect, but more importantly, if this man is a grower builder, not a control freak, control freaks hates when a woman does something because then it obliges him to her and control freaks don't wanna be obliged. But guess what? You'll get rid of that guy quickly. I'm here to say reciprocate in efforts. I always think of it like a ping pong game. If he makes effort, you make effort. If you make effort, he makes effort. And by the way, this is true later in the relationship because many of you come to me and say, Jonathan, I give so much the relationship and he does nothing. Well, then he's not reciprocating. Reciprocity is an important component to a healthy, happy relationship. And if you want a relationship that continues into your later years or your death bed, then it's important to be in a relationship where there's reciprocity right from the very first date. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know if it is. Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Hit that like button. Please share this video and please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos as well. All right, those who know my format know we are going to take questions now. If you have a question, write the word question in the chat box. Write the word question and post the question there after or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there in the obey shirt. He's my son who passed away five years ago and his honor we donate the causes like the Hoffman Process Insight Institute, just to name a few. And I'd love to donate $50 tonight. So hit that little dollar sign and donate and you can post your question there. And if you're watching the replay, hit that super thanks as well. Denise says, I'm old fashioned and I think a guy should lead. I get you, I get that old fashioned. We live in a whole new world, folks. Nothing, I'm gonna say, old fashioned thinking doesn't apply today. First off, you want the man to lead? You're giving the job to the wrong person. Men are fucking clueless. They are absolute. Most men are absolutely emotionally constipated, emotionally inept. You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny. You don't want anyone to lead that. You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny. And I'm here to say to you, you have a greater chance for success when it's a mutual effort between two people. By the way, I've tested this. I've posted this in groups. I've been a group with men, 15,000 men and they said, how do you feel if a woman initiate a second, third or fourth date after you've taken her out one or two times? How would you feel about that? And this is what the man said. She's a unicorn. She's one of a kind. She's a keeper. Don't let that woman go. Now there are a few control freak men and there were over a thousand men who commented on this. We men appreciate reciprocity but and more importantly, we appreciate reciprocity when you include the words, I appreciate you. I'm gonna tell you something that current dating is so much, what can I get? What can I get? What can I get from a person? It lacks any real generosity. And coming back to dating, when you expect a man to pay, you've literally taken his agency away of his generosity when you come at it from a place of expectation. That's right. Because it's a generous act to do that. If it comes from an expectorily expert expectation perspective, you just took away the generosity of when someone does that. I know some of you will disagree with me. You'll stop watching me. Knock yourselves out, okay? That's just my perspective and I'm sticking to it. All right. If you have a question, write the word question and post the question thereafter. Sherry Fleming says, indeed we trust Jonathan. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. She also goes on to say, we need to take charge of our relationship, Destiny, I agree. Mermaid says, reciprocate love, not unrequited love. Exactly. All right. Do we have any questions in the house? Melissa wants to say that long distance relationship texting is like mental masturbation. Face time, talk, make time to meet them. Even if it's long distance. Yeah, it's mental masturbation. I love that. Oh, okay folks, if you're not familiar, this is one from my Facebook member groups. I have a group called Midlife Love Mastery. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. There's a link below to Midlife Love Mastery. We have a Facebook group and a once a month webinar where you can get on the phone and talk to me for a fraction of the cost of private coaching. It's less than $20 a month. And one of our Facebook member says, if a man wasn't contacting you much and then said you would meet on Sunday by 12, you haven't heard from him. And then Sunday before, since I didn't contact him for eight days because he said I call you, so you didn't contact him. He sends you a nasty message. I've seen him angry before. Should I just let go and say goodbye? Okay. This reeks of issues, okay? Now, I'm gonna say this. If you don't know the answer to this, then I need to smack the upside down. First off, somebody who says they're gonna meet you and bales on you, that's inappropriate. If they wait eight days to contact you, that's inappropriate. If they get nasty, that's inappropriate. When I say inappropriate, I'm gonna hope that you're not accepting of such behavior that those are all crossing a boundary. Now, maybe for you in your life, you've experienced a toxic childhood, so to you that might feel familiar. Folks, if you're not familiar with the work of the Hoffman process, this is about doing a deep dive into childhood wounds and traumas. And most likely, if you're accepting of bad behavior, there is a deep wound that needs to be healed. And I highly recommend doing that work sooner rather than later. I would say, run, forest, run, run, forest, run. Nope, he talked about that before. All right, magic entertainers in the house and she has her 24-year-old Indian guy. Okay, we talked about this the other day. Let's get back into it. I was a 25-year-old guy. I was upset about Saturday night. I got drunk first time in five years. I ordered McDonald's at 11 p.m., thinking he could be the Uber. What would you do if you were me? Folks, you're 48 years old, magic entertainer. He's half your age. All right, if you have a long-term mating strategy, raise your hand if you have a long-term mating strategy. A short-term mating strategy is all about pleasure. It's all about getting your needs met in the moment. A long-term mating strategy recognizes that a relationship is something you want for the long-term, okay? What's the probability of a 24-year-old who barely knows himself, most likely can't support himself, most likely is not even, he hasn't even had his mid-life crisis yet, even capable of going the distance with someone more mature. So again, I'm all in favor of long-term mating strategy. If you have a short-term mating strategy, you get to do whatever you want because here's the bottom line. Have fun, until it implodes on you, which it most likely will. I didn't say explode, it will implode on you. In other words, internally, you might get such attachment to this person and when it blows up or implodes, excuse me, how long do you want to suffer for? Have a long-term mating strategy is what I advocate for. All right, Marianne, how does one transition from being a people-pleaser to a woman with boundaries? Not that I love everything in this book, but there is some really good content in the book called Why Men Love Bitches, and Bitch stands for Babe in Total Control of Herself ES, okay? This is an empowerment book, even though I don't love everything about it, it's got some issues with it, like the rules. I like the empowerment piece. It goes from Dormat to Dreamgirl, a woman's guide to holding her own in relationship, okay? This takes, okay, folks, this will take herculean work on your part, Marianne. It's going to, you're gonna have to butt up against your, first, you have to identify what your standards are. What are your standards? Because if you don't know your standards, then how can you have a boundary? A boundary is basically what's okay and what's not okay for you. So a boundary starts with a standard. What is your standard? So for example, my standard is, I'm looking for a relationship where we spend on average three or four days and nights a week together, doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal or our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married, okay? That's just giving you the context of what the relationship looks like. That's a standard. Within that standard, reciprocity is hugely important to me. Within that standard, a generous nature. Within that standard is an agreeable personality. Within that standard is a chill personality. Within that standard is a true desire for long-term commitment. Within that standard is an ability to go all in. Within that standard, there isn't a, they're in the present. They're not stuck in the past. They're not harping over a past relationship or they're still harping over an ex-spouse or something like that. These are just some of the standards that I have in my life. Also, they gotta love sex morning, noon, and night. That's one of my standards. Just to name a few, okay? So I invite you to determine what your standard is so you know when to establish a boundary and then when someone crosses that boundary, that's the time to speak up. And if you need help speaking up, I highly recommend the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. By the way, all the books I recommend are listed below. Oh, I haven't even mentioned my book tonight. I recommend Nonviolent Communication, okay? And before I take the next question, don't forget my book, What the heck could self-love any way a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work? All right, thank you for your question. Lauren says, I'm just sitting here in my feminine energy, waiting for the man in my dreams to knock at my door. Yeah, good luck with that. By the way, you know, from a spiritual perspective, okay, from a spiritual perspective, you can set an intention. Now, will he knock on your front door? No, I do invite you to be out in the world. But yes, from a spiritual perspective, if you set a high enough intention, that is certainly possible. Maybe not in this lifetime though. Sylvia says, is it okay to date a man whose marriage broke down? By the way, since 75% of singles over 45 years old are divorced, it is a high probability that 75% of men have been in a marriage that broke down. Every relationship breaks down. By the way, if you've had one, two or three relationships in your life, they all broke down for some reason or another. What's most important is to find out why it broke down and did they take ownership on their part of it breaking down, okay? Hey, by the way, who wants to join the hot seat tonight? Click that link. Okay, I just posted it right there, click that. By the way, nobody's donated money to the Conor Asley Scholarship Fund. Come on, cop up some money tonight. I'd like to give away some money. Hit that little dollar sign in the chat box. Elizabeth says, I love you, Jonathan. Can we clone you? My son is kind of a mini me in a way. There's a picture of Collin. I'm gonna hopefully have him on soon. Yes, actually, there are a lot even better men than me out there, so thank you. I appreciate it, Elizabeth. What do you do with passive aggressive behavior? Passive aggressive behavior is frustrating and I'm guilty of having moments of acting in that capacity. It depends on the person's capacity to take ownership. Okay, so speaking of my son, Collin, there are moments when I flipped out for something. Now it wasn't passive aggressive, but I flipped out. And then usually about five minutes later, I call him up apologizing why I flipped out because I think I want my child to think exactly like me when certain things arise, okay? That's a ridiculous parental expectation I have. What's most important is I'm capable of recognizing my behavior, taking ownership and trying to remedy it, recognizing the behavior, taking ownership of it and remedy the behavior, okay? And by the way, remorse is in that too. If the person isn't capable of doing that, then it's going to be very difficult to be in relationship with someone who is passive aggressive. I don't know if that's a true personality disorder in the DSM or if it's just a behavioral issue. I'm just not an expert in this realm, but certainly people, because people are capable of being in relationship or passive aggressive. What's most important is two humans that communicate with each other and their needs, wants, and desires in a way that's seen, heard, and understood. I'm gonna repeat that, you communicate your needs, wants, and desires in a way that's seen, heard, and understood. So it depends, Lee, so thank you for that question. Oh, our Facebook group member said, okay, oops, he claimed he was just getting ready to message me when he got my message yesterday. Eight days, and by the way, someone planning a date and waiting eight days, I don't care what excuse he gave, he sounds like he's emotionally constipated. And KC says too funny, emotionally constipated, good one, Jonathan. All right, here's Magic Entertainer. I keep checking my phone to see if he texts, but I went on a date with a 39-year-old Mexican. By the way, you're doing definitely around the world dating, the Indian man, the Mexican man. But if you're checking your phone, you are setting yourself up for a world of emotional hurt. And you even said to Ms. Fleming, I'm already hurting. Well, by the way, you only have yourself to blame. You only have yourself to blame. By the way, when you date children because you're a 48-year-old woman and he's 24, you're dating a child, okay? You're dating a child. I don't care if he's an adult body, he's still an emotional child, you know? Hey, folks, you get to do what you want. Cheryl has a question. Should you use your real name on a dating site? Well, since your last name isn't posted, I don't see the problem with it. Sometimes it creates a bit of confusion because you get so in your head attached to the name you've been communicating with, that's hard to shift. You know, I can go either way with that one. You know, I'm a public figure, so I don't mind having my real name, but I can understand why you might not. So yeah, you can use a nom de plume. You can use a pseudo name. You can do either one. I don't think there's any problem either way. Just be upfront when you go out on a date with someone to share your true name. Elizabeth says, smart one, Jonathan, reciprocity. My relationship is unbalanced. I'm a people-pleaser-giver. He's a control person. I get it. It's not gonna be a healthy relationship if there is not reciprocity. And Facebook member three times a day sex, freaking out. Hey, what can I say? I'm still at this age. I've got a libido. All right. Lauren's in the house and she has a question. What do you do if you want to date again but plan on moving within six months? I started dating profile, but I am at a standstill. Hmm. Well, you could start doing a search in the city that you're moving to. That could be an option. You know, God, it would be if I met somebody who'd lived here and then they said they're moving to Chicago. I'd probably say for me, that's a deal breaker. You know, if you're gonna up and move because you're gonna establish a life somewhere else. And again, since my standard is spending three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both in our personal professional life, if someone was about to move, that would be a real bummer if I met somebody special. So I'm just mindful of that. So that's my two cents on that one. Hey, it looks like Lauren is in the house. So she, she, this is the one who just asked the question. So let's put you in the hot seat. Hmm. You hear me? Yeah, I can. And I'm sorry, I'm chewing. Just a second. I'm making sure you, yes. You can hear her. Oh, your son is helping you out. Yeah, you can hear her, right? Yeah. I can hear her. Yeah. There you go. He entered on the emotional maturity of a 20, 24 year old, which he is. Well, if he's dating a 48 year old, we'll have to have a conversation. I know. Okay, so I responded to you mentioning that you're planning on moving. Is that what you wanted to ask me about? Yes. So as I said earlier, I would think it's a real bummer to meet someone next week and then tell them that you're moving. So I would suggest doing a search in the city that you're actually moving to and start doing a search in that area. And how far is it from where you live right now? Out of the country. Oh, out of the country? So, yeah, and I started a match profile and it won't let me change my post-coach. To another country. For some reason. Yeah, so I mean, I guess. So then you have to ask yourself, do you have a short term mating strategy or a long term mating strategy? Well, long term eventually, but, you know, I'd like to. But you see what you just did eventually. Well, okay, so then you just be up front. I'm just looking to have a good time. You know, I'm planning on moving and see what people say. By the way, you can also join meetup groups. There are some organizations where people meet. They know it's gonna be a short live. There's, and you have to do searches. I'm not aware of any right at the top of my head. But there are some people that you might wanna consider a meetup group in your area to have some good time to connect with people. Maybe joining a dance group to connect with people. But certainly if you're doing a dating site, I would want, I believe if you want to be a person of integrity, then that's something you may wanna stress right from the get go because someone might like you and be very disappointed to find out that you're moving in a place where he doesn't have the capacity to join you. So always be an integrity. Of course. Thank you. You're welcome. Can I give you a big hug? Hug back to you. Thank you, Lauren. Bye-bye. Bye now. All right, that was fun. We had someone in the house. If anyone wants to join us, click the link below and thank Lauren's son as well. All right, let's keep going here. Elizabeth is back in the house. What do you do with an emotionally abusive man? Why is it so hard to leave him? This is usually a result of, okay. Highly recommend reading the book, Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Usually when we have difficulty leaving somebody who is, for lack of a better word, toxic in our life, it is because of some familiar childhood wound that needs healing. So, highly recommend reading that book. I would also definitely speak to a therapist and work on that wound because that's going to rule your life and you will most likely choose one rule. See, here's the thing. God, universe or spirit is inviting you to love yourself and they will put all the wrong people. By the way, this is how fucked up this shit is, folks, okay? I say fucked up, it's actually ingenious. God, universe, spirit. I call it Gus, okay? I don't care what you call your God, I don't call it when I say I don't care. If you call it God, universe, spirit, it will keep sending you the wrong person over and over and over again so you choose to love yourself, to choose to embody your own divinity. And so, this will happen over and over again and this is why I'm such a big proponent of healing and then making better choices going forward. Right here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me, folks, there's a link below. One of the things I teach in my private coaching is discernment particularly to gauge his emotional maturity. And there are some questions you can ask early on to better assess the probability of relationship success but I would read this book, I'd see a therapist and just recognize that you'll have all these experiences because God, universe, and spirit wants you to love yourself. Katie says, we met at a dance party. What do I do? Wait, what do I do not to get too excited before the first date? We've been texting several times a day. Well, cut back the communication for one that creates all this dopamine, you're getting all these dopamine hits through this, by the way, folks, we're all hamsters and we're grabbing at the pellet, grabbing at the pellet, this is the pellet, grabbing at the pellet, this is the pellet, this is the dopamine hit. So one cut back on communication, but listen, discipline doesn't care how you feel. Discipline is, folks, we are really a lazy society at least particularly here in the United States where we lack discipline, you know? It takes absolute mind control to regulate your emotions. It takes a tremendous amount of mental acuity to regulate your emotions and we only have ourselves, we can't go, well, can somebody else do this, Jonathan? Can I take a pill? Can I put something at the back of my ear to regulate my vagus nerve and blah, blah, blah, blah? Folks, we have the power within us, we do. We just have to use, we are superheroes inside of us. If we step into our embodiment, our power, it's why I wrote my book and you see there's a little empowered person there, step into your power. Thank you, Top Gear. Jody just gave us a $2 super sticker, okay? So we're $48 away from our goal of $50 tonight. Come on, let's get up to $50 tonight. Jamie says, hey, Jonathan, hope all is well, happy to see you. You know, I think I'm doing fairly well. By the way, if anyone wants to ask me a personal question, write the word personal question, post the question thereafter. You know, I can say that it's still recovering from the ending of a relationship. I mean, quite frankly, this was a very treasured relationship and to some degree, I still have, I don't wanna say I have feelings for her in a unhealthy way. I have very positive, healthy feelings for her. I don't have it in an unhealthy pining way or desperate way or anything like that. But when you've integrated someone into your life, it is still an adjustment to unravel the tapestry. So I'm still adjusting to that. I'm in no hurry to meet someone new. Although if someone special came into my life tomorrow, I'd absolutely take the necessary time to get to know if we're truly compatible with one another. And sometimes, you know, I got really close with my last one, I'm helping God, universe spirit. Okay, I learned all the lessons I needed to learn. Thank you. So thank you for your, Jamie, I appreciate that. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. Bum, bum, bum, bum. I have, Sarah says, I've learned so much from you. Thanks. Should I say no if he invites me to his home? I know him for the last three years in close caps capacity. We worked together, but we just went out on our first date. Well, I would say, you know, if you've known someone for three years, I don't see, and you feel safe and trust this person, I don't see any issue with inviting them to your home. But if you're, but I would say, but you work with this person, wait a minute. Okay, folks, just remember, there's an old saying, be careful, don't shit where you eat, okay? Be careful dating someone you work with. First off, know your human resources and your sexual harassment law and practices and practices of dating people, depending on your work environment, you could be setting yourself up for some failure there. Most likely the two of you are physically attracted to one another. You probably on the peripheral talked about how you have a lot in common, but just remember, you know, you have to really assess his capacity to be in a relationship. That's what I teach in my private coaching, to assess his capacity to be in a relationship. Schedule a call with me. I think you'll be worth your while. Gacy wants to remind a quote from Jonathan Asley. You only have yourself to blame if all you do is whine and complain. Amen, thank you. And goddess Gina says truth. I never heard why the two of you broke up, Lexi says. Okay, just as a reminder, I have a video called letting go, it's in my live playlist, letting go, it was recorded about three months ago. Very quickly, Marie wasn't happy living here. She missed her family in particular. She kind of recognized that through our relationship, I think she'd say some of her childhood wounds and traumas started to bubble up in the surface and she really wanted to be connected with her family because of this, so she moved. So she could be closer to family in Florida and Columbia. And to that extent, there was, the relationship wasn't perfect. There were some things missing for both of us, I think. And I think we learned and grew a lot from this experience but it wasn't meant to go the deep. Hey, listen, certainly I went all in. I'm grateful for that. There were a lot of good things that came out of this relationship but I also recognized two people have to be on the same page. And originally I thought we were but as we got to know each other that we started to drift a little bit in what we both want. And again, that's why it's called dating, that's why it's called a relationship until two people married, you're still getting to know one another. Once you get married, that's the deal says I'm in it for the long distance or not long distance dating but I'm in it for the distance, okay? That's why it's called dating. And we realized within a year that we weren't right for each other and that's okay too. So I'm giving you the clip note version, watch the video called Letting Go. Question, Mara says, how do you manage to not find relationships disposable in the dating pool? Well, we can look at it from a negative point of view or victim point of view disposable or what if there are a lot of short lived experiences we are meant to have from a spiritual perspective? See, the problem is somebody feels used if one person has feelings and the other person isn't capable of meeting them. Remember, I talked about reciprocity. So, I'm a big proponent of very quickly having deep rich conversations early on to assess that person's capacity to be in a healthy, happy relationship. By the way, many of you guys are settling for situationships and casual relationships and you have yourself to blame because you settle on mediocrity. I'm here to say, only choose people who definitively know they want to be in a significant relationship. They either want to get remarried, they want to live with someone and they are clear about having that desire. Otherwise, you are most likely ending up in a transactional, situational, casual relationship. I want to thank Claire O'Connor for the $20 Super Sticker. Hey, thanks so much. And I want to thank Cheryl for the $5. So, $3.23 more dollars to go for our goal of $50 tonight. All right, let's see what else we have. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Let's see what Cheryl says. Goddess, I agree, sex at his, oh, this is a conversation. People are having a conversation. By the way, we need questions. Casey wants to say, don't ignore your gut feelings. The energy of a person is their essence. Shut it down. I agree. Bum, bum, bum. By the way, Magic Entertainer, you're just going on and on and on. I'm watching what you're saying. I know you're hung up on some guys or a couple guys. It sounds almost like you're desperate. I could be wrong. I'm just speculating on some of the chats I'm seeing, but it seems like you're almost in a desperate place. Anyway, let's see what else we have here. Marianne wants to respond back. Jonathan, that's exactly what I thought about you, that you are on the verge of that juicy, delicious relationship you certainly have done the work. You know, folks, I'm a big proponent of doing personal development and self-help spiritual work. I'm also a big proponent of manifestation. So we're going to share a prayer right now for all to manifest a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship. And the prayer goes something like this. God, universe, spirit, I invite in for myself and everyone who is watching this at this very moment. So you open that all the hearts are open to receive love in the greatest and safest possible way, where there's absolute mutual chemistry between each other, not just that physical chemistry, that emotional electric chemistry, where you feel like you've known this person for a lifetime. And the communication between each other feels like the banter can go on for hours and hours at a time as if you're talking to a dear friend, if not a best friend through your communication because you feel safe to open your heart to this person because they've demonstrated that they're capable of communicating at a place where you can be seen, heard, and understood because they listen actively, they validate what you say, they acknowledge what you say. And even when there's differences, they acknowledge that two people can have differences and that's okay too. And their lifestyles are compatible with one another. The lifestyles can blend with one another in a beautiful, juicy, delicious way where there's proximity where they live near each other and they can spend regular time together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interest and spending time with family and friends. And they share the same values of growth, of individuality, of working through things together and they share the same values or and I share the same values with her. And lastly, we build the deep roots of trust through open communication, through activities together, through travel together, through introducing our family and friends to one another because building trust is the foundation for a healthy, happy relationship, God, universe, spirit. I invite that in for myself and everyone who is watching at this very moment. How'd that prayer feel? Let me know. All right. Hey, I wanna thank Roller Girl for a dollar 99 cents Super Sticker. We're getting on our way. Tammy says, what's the best dating site? So, I'm gonna be candid with you all. Oh, and this is for Connor, thank you so much. I have joined Bumble, Hinge, Match.com and I'm gonna rejoin Millionaire Match. Those are the four sites that I plan on using. Millionaire Match is, I know the title of it, it sounds a little cheesy, but I gotta tell you, I find more professional people on that site, people that have professions versus jobs. So it just happens to be attractive to me because of that but again, those are the four sites that I like the most. Match.com probably being the largest of them all. Personal question from Marianne, what have you done lately to enhance your spiritual journey? What have I done lately? Is I Dell SD? I'm just kidding. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Nothing new for my spiritual journey. I think really, I'm really working on practicing really sitting with my intuition, like really honoring my intuition. And just when something feels off, what did Mark Manson, where did he, he wrote the book, he wrote the book, Kevin talked about this for a while, the subtle art of not giving a fuck but he had an article one that said, I think it was Mark Manson's article that said, if it isn't a fuck yes, it's a hell no. So I think adopting that, now I think we have to be careful with that perspective, but it's really trusting my intuition, my gut, really paying attention and trusting. That's what I've been doing a little bit more lately than in the past, okay? All right, let's keep going here. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Lash wants to remind everyone of gratitude. I'm a big proponent of gratitude. Yes, I agree. Goddess, Gina is in the house. I have a question. When a new man I meet asked me to his home for the first or second date, I think he's expecting sex. Am I wrong? Well, expecting sex and hoping for it, I mean, it might be a hope, might not necessarily be an expectation, it might be a hope. You know, I have mixed feelings on this. Let me tell you why. Sometimes we feel the safest in our own home. So not to suggest that what you said isn't most likely the case. Let me just be clear, it is most likely the case, okay? But there's just something about the comfort of your own home to connect with someone, not from a physical perspective, but just from a casual perspective of, you know, so I'm not opposed to it if trust has been built. Then I would say I would be okay with it, but you've got to understand if they're a total stranger, can you really trust them? And that's probably not the case, okay? So that's just my two cents on that one. And Stiles says, don't sleep with a man on the first or second date. That should be obvious. I would say, well, there's always the exception to the rule, I'm in agreement. It's very rare that a relationship manifests into something significant if there's been sex on the first, second, or third date, but then there's always the exception to the rule. All right, folks, we talked about doing these five things and he'll prioritize you. I hope you, I'm just gonna remind everyone of what I shared in the beginning, radiance, similarities, proximity, responsiveness, and reciprocity, those five things will establish a greater chance for both men and women to prioritize each other to explore a deeper relationship somewhere between that first and 10th date. All right, I hope you found value in this conversation. If you did, post a comment below. I'd like to hear, or if you have something to say, post a comment below. Like to hear your thoughts. If you found value in this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell as well. And I'm gonna end this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Barrow. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear or a pillow, and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Style and Sherry and Lexi and Rebecca and Elizabeth and SoCal and Tealove and Tammy and Lasha. Magic Entertainer, Cecilia, Goddess Gina, our Facebook group, Roller Girls, Sharon. Everyone, Rachel, big hugs to you all. Thank you so much. Wishing you a super.