 Hey everyone, welcome to another Nas Find A Life video. I'm out here on the beach. And in this one we're going to be talking about when the narcissist sees you with someone new. Because what typically tends to happen is that they discard you and in the process of doing that they've already lined someone else up. They've already got someone else waiting in the wings. Because you see, you are never really a priority to the narcissist. You are just an option. You are just something temporary. Something that they were using for the time being. For recreational use, for their own amusement and enjoyment. They never took you seriously. And that is why they already had someone lined up, ready for when they were going to get rid of you. But they're actually quite shocked when they see that you move on. Because they don't expect you to move on. They expect you to be waiting for them to come back. They expect you to be sad and depressed, longing and yearning for them. They don't expect you to move on and find someone else. But when they do see that, initially they may not take it seriously. They may take it as a joke. They may think that it's not anything significant or official. But then as time starts to go by and they see that you are still with this person. And things are going well for you. You're not thinking about them much anymore. They don't really cross your mind. You're not worried about what they're doing or who they're with. You're not trying to reach out to them. And that is when it really starts to irritate the narcissist. That is when it really starts to get under their skin. Because they feel like they're no longer relevant. They're no longer anything significant or important to you. And it may even cause a narcissistic injury. Because they feel rejected. They feel completely worthless and insignificant. Because they're no longer relevant in your life anymore. Now that you have found someone new. But in the beginning, they may just take it as a joke. Maybe, sorry about that. I just had a call coming in. So I think it cuts off the volume. As I was saying, just give it time and you will start to see that it will affect them. Because in the beginning they may just take it as a joke. They may be defensive against it and act like it's nothing. They may try to play it down. But in time, when they see that you're still together after so many months, after so many years. Then they've got no other choice but to accept it. There's nothing else that they can do. But another thing they like to do is they like to twist it in their minds. As though you're just two fools. Two people who are just manipulating and using each other. And the reason why they like to see it like that. Is because then it doesn't get them as much. And of course they know it all too well because that's exactly what they do. They could never be real or authentic with you. They always had to resort to their manipulation tactics. They always had to play games. They could never love you. They could never be intimate with you. Of course they don't want to think or believe that you can move on and have that with someone else. Something that they can't have. Something that they don't get to experience. Because as we know, narcissists are very envious and jealous. They don't want you to move on and have something that they can't have. So of course they've got to try and twist it in their minds and act like it isn't really anything. Even though deep down they may know that it is. So yeah. This is just the warped minds of the narcissist. That's how they have to see things to protect their fragile egos. But of course in time it will cause a narcissistic injury. It will start to get to them. And they may lash out at you. They may try to destroy your new relationship. Because they can't partake. And they can't get fulfillment from things that normal people get very easily. Things like relationships, normal relationships, love, intimacy. These things it's very easy for us. But for them they can't experience that. So the last thing they want to see is you moving on. It's you having that. Because as I've said before, deep down we all want the same thing. We all want to feel loved. It's just that some people go a different way to try and get it. Like narcissists. They want to feel loved. They want attention. They want admiration. They want all of that. But because of the way that they were raised. They were raised to believe that you don't get that. By being open and honest, genuine and authentic. And giving yourself to someone. They've learned that you have to manipulate people. You have to trick them. You have to control them. The problem is that's not really love. Because people who manipulate and control. That's coming from insecurity. And where there is insecurity and control. There can't be any love. Love cannot grow in that type of environment. Love is freedom. Love is the freedom to do as you choose. It's not about control. It's not about restricting someone. That is not love at all. But this is what they've learned. That's their version of love. It's manipulating and controlling you. And that may make them feel good in the moment. But over time it just makes them feel worse. It makes them feel empty inside. Because that's not really love. That's just something they're using to satisfy their ego. To make themselves feel important. And you can either operate from the ego or the soul. But if you're always operating from the ego. And you're always trying to manipulate and control or deceive someone. You're never going to find happiness. You're never going to find real love from doing that. But this is what narcissists do. And that is why they get so mad when they see that you've moved on. When they see that you've found someone new. Because they're still in their ego. They can't connect to their soul. And sometimes I do wonder if narcissists even have a soul at all. They're like robots. It's like they don't feel anything for anyone other than themselves. So they're detached from their soul. From their hearts. Because when you connect to your heart. They feel everything for other people. But of course as we know narcissists don't do that. It's all about themselves. It's all about them consuming. Getting what they want. Offering that other people's expense. And that does not result in long term happiness and satisfaction. It results in a void. Which they are constantly trying to fill. And that is why love is so important in our lives. Have love for the people around you. Family or friends. Animals. Just the environment. The world. Because when you have that. You won't have to resort to annihilation and control. Because then you're connecting to your soul. Which means that you're detached from your ego. And I think that is what we do. When we do finally move on from them. Because when we're around narcissists we're always so defensive. We always feel like we have to prove our innocence. We have to prove a point. And then we're in our ego as well. And it's very tiring for us empaths. So of course at some point we just want to connect back to our soul. And I think that's what we do. When things go wrong for the narcissist. And we experience that sense of loss. That's when we start to go within. And look for our happiness within ourselves again. Because remember it's not all about just moving on and finding someone else. That's what narcissists do. We have to take some time to heal. To get to know ourselves again. Things that we are passionate about. Things that we are interested in. We have to find our happiness from within. Because when we do that we have something to give to someone else. And that is very important. But yeah when you move on. And you find someone new and they see that. That will get under their skin. They will become very envious and jealous. They may start stalking you. Especially on social media. It might even turn into an obsession. Where they're constantly hoovering you. They're constantly trying to get you back. They're blowing up your phone every day. Even though you've moved on. And you're in a completely new situation. But now they just can't leave you alone. But when you were on your own. They were nowhere to be found. They were never there for you. It's only when you move on and find someone else. Now they can't leave you alone. And I guess in a way that is their karma. That's what they get for neglecting you. But you just have to remember to choose love. Every time. Don't always operate from the ego. Because that is what we tend to do. When we are in relationships with narcissists. We feel like we can change them. We can fix them. We can turn them into a better person. Someone who cares about us. Someone who loves us. No. That's our ego. We have to find the love within ourselves. And just let them go. Give them that freedom. That they want so badly. Let them have that. But just know that when you do that. You may find that now they can't leave you alone. Because they're just constantly trying to remain relevant in your life. That's the narcissist mission. That's all they really care about is being something significant to you. They don't attach to you. But they want you to attach to them. That's the narcissist game. Because remember it's all about them. The world has to revolve around them. It's all about what they can get out of you. Your attention, your validation, your admiration. Your money, your resources. Remember they have nothing to give to you. They're not going to make you happy in the long run. They're not going to improve your life. Because it's just all about them and what they can take from you. And that is why at some point you have to forget them and find someone new. Someone who will care about you. Someone who will treat you right. And also someone who you can give your love to. So yeah to summarize they're not going to like it. They are going to get mad. They're going to get envious, jealous, insecure. They may start stalking you. And that's just something that you have to deal with when you do finally move on. But you know it is actually much better just to do that. Because otherwise what is the other option? The only other choice you have is to remain stuck with someone who doesn't really care about you. They're not really there for you. They're not really in your corner. They're only there when they need you. And yeah you're going to feel stuck as I've said before. You will feel more lonely where they narcissist than if you were on your own. I'm sure many of you will notice that. Before you got involved with them you were okay. Things weren't perfect in your life. But you were quite happy. Things were going well for you. And then as soon as you get involved with them and you're giving them all of your attention, you're giving them your love. And it's like the more you do they just keep giving you less and less until you're doing all of the work and you just feel like you are completely alone. Like there's no teamwork. Like they're not a willing participant in the relationship. It's like you're all by yourself. And you're giving them everything that you've got but you're getting nothing back and return to replenish yourself. And that's no good. That is no way to live. You deserve better than that. You deserve better treatment. You deserve someone who will love you the way that you love. Someone who will give you just as much of their attention as you give to them. Someone who will care about you just as much as you care about them. That's what you deserve. You don't deserve breadcrumbs and validation, triangulation, manipulation and deception. You don't deserve any of that. And you didn't sign up for that but that is what you get when you are involved with a narcissist. So that's what I mean when I say you are better off leaving than staying with them and hoping things are going to change because they're never going to change. They're always going to be that way. It doesn't matter who they're with. They're always going to be the same. You're not going to change them knowing this. So this is my message for you today to just move on and forget about them because it's not going to do you any good. It's just going to make things a lot worse for you. Just look back at how much time you've wasted. Look at how it's affected your health. How much money you've lost. And just imagine how much you're going to lose if you stay with them for another few months, another year, another 10 years. And that's why you've just got to go. You've got to cut your losses and walk away because it is only going to get worse. You might think it's bad now but if you stay with them, it will get worse. Okay, that's it for this video. 42 live viewers, please give this video a thumbs up down below if you enjoyed it. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Subscribe. And if you'd like to book a session with me, you can do that from my website. It's narksviver.co.uk And check out my Instagram. I've got new pictures and videos on there every day. It is narksviver YouTube on Instagram. And that's it. I'm going to continue enjoying the sunshine today. And yeah, I look forward to talking with you in another one very soon.