 So, a few more things. We looked at the pain principle that hurt people, hurt people, or hurting people, hurt people, which really should encourage us to get rid of offenses for out of the, you know, out of our heart flows, the issues of life. So, let our lives be, you know, let our hearts be pure, clear, and let nothing hinder us in our relationship with God or with people, right? And this is an ongoing thing that we that we just don't hold on to offenses that we just release, release ourselves actually. Don't put ourselves in prison when it comes to offenses. Just reminded of this book written by Pastor Offenses, Don't Take Them. It's a good read. It's talking about, you know, how we can live above the line of offense, right? Offenses will come in the sense, especially if you're going to be living or wanting to live a righteous life, right? Offenses will come from the world. Offenses will come from people who are close to us. Offenses by, you know, those in authority and so on. So the book actually is quite a good read. If you've not read, you could read that. Offenses, don't take them, right? So Proverbs 4-23, you know, keep your heart with all diligence for out of it, spring the issues of life. And it's important for us. It's our responsibility, right? Even as we, our heart is sensitive and we are being sensitive to the things of God and we are being sensitive to having the same heart that God has for people. It is only, we know that it is possible to, you know, to, that there will be opportunities for us to be offended or take offense. But we need to, we need to, just let go, right? We need to let go. We need to be discerning. And as the Holy Spirit prompts us and as a principle, you know, we can say, okay, I will not be offended. You know, some people find it very temperamentally personality wise. This is how they are, you know, they don't get easily offended. But that some of us could be, could be just the opposite. It's that we could be easily offended and very sensitive and so on. So that is something that we need to work on, on a daily basis, right? So, and one thing is, you know, maybe if you, if you know people in your lives and with whom you've had a kind of uncomfortable encounter, uncomfortable, uncomfortable, maybe conversation or something happened and but now, you know, looking back, if it still makes you uncomfortable, right? Looking back, if it's, if it's still not okay, then we need to work on it, right? Another indicator is when you have imaginary conversations, right? Which means that you are offended, you know, imagine a conversation in the sense, okay, this is what this person said. So I will say this, when I say this, this person will say this, you have any, you have those conversations, okay, maybe it's about your boss, maybe it's about, you know, someone, a colleague, maybe it's about a family member, you know, this person said this and then when you have those conversations, that's again an indicator that you are still holding on, that we are still holding on to hurts, right? And, and we need to work on it. And the sooner we work at it, the better. And we, we go to God and we might have to do it. You know, sometimes it's so stubborn, right? Our mind is not renewed. Mine is, and the flesh just stirs up these things back again. Because we remember, we don't forget, right? We do remember these things. But, but the thing is that the pain of remembering or the pain of that memory, God can heal, right? Where we can still remember and, and not be hurt by that, by what we remember about what people said, what people did, you know, and so on. So sometimes it's, it's us, you know, we are, we are unable to forgive ourselves. Oh, man, I said that. And it was so embarrassing. And as you still cringe at that memory, why did I say that? Why did I do that? You know, over and over again, but the fact is, it's in the past. We can't do anything. Well, if you can set it right, if you can't, well, hand it over to the Lord and say, okay, God, you know, you know that I can't fix that. It said all said and done. And, well, I'm not, I'm moving, moving forward. And I'm moving on with you. And Lord, take me into freedom, take me into wholeness, take me into restoration, right? And the Lord will take us. Now, not saying it's an easy path, not saying that it's, it's, you know, it's something that is, it's not, it can be painful, right? But, but it is, at the same time, it is possible to walk in freedom. I just want to share that because scripture is full of hope and God is the God of hope and comfort, the God of possibilities. You will never say that, okay, you need to be stay stuck in that prison. And God is the one who liberates us. And then he will lead us out into freedom, right? Okay. Okay, then the other principle that we see, let me just share the notes here. Okay, it's, it's, you know, these things are kind of, they have a common thread, right? It's, it's about relating to people. And so, you know, when it's when people are hurt, and people, you know, they can respond in a, in a way that is not proportional to the, you know, to the way it should be, right? Not proportion. Their response is really bigger than the actual problem. So in line with that, they hear something called the hammer principle. The hammer principle is, you know, you to hit an insect in someone's head, you know, a fly or something, you don't use a hammer, right? Because it's going to damage the person. Well, the hammer can also, you know, kill the fly, kill the insect. But a hammer goes beyond that. It damages the head of the person on whom the insect is sitting. So the hammer principle is that, that we don't overreact to a problem which is small in nature, you know, our reaction or response to that problem. Is it in proportion to the intensity of the problem? Or are we overreacting to it? So which can cause damage in the relationship, which can, which can take some time to, you know, restore and so on. So, so here are some things that can, that are helpful for us. Okay. To look at the total picture, okay, when somebody is sharing a point, when somebody is disagreeing, when somebody is, you know, stating something, listen and get the total picture. Okay, that will help us rather than, you know, a partial understanding of it. Listen, get the total picture, get a full understanding of the person's viewpoint and then respond. That helps. Okay. The second thing is to, is also the timing of it. Maybe, you know, you are upset. Maybe the other person is upset. Maybe, you know, that is not the right time to, for correction, maybe that's not the right time for even suggesting certain, certain things, certain changes. So let it be in a timely manner. Okay. You think about the timing. When can I say this? When can I suggest this? You know, thinking about that, the timing of what your action even will help. Okay. And, and this we know is true the tone of our voice. Like many times, it's the tone of the voice can actually either increase the conflict or increase the problem, intensity of the problem or it can decrease. Problems talks about a soft answer turns away wrath. Okay. And we know that's, you know, anything to do with road rage. It's just that it could be a small, small skirmish, right? Somebody just scratched. It's a small scratch, maybe. But if, you know, if two people start shouting, screaming, you know that it can well escalate to, you know, a fistfight or something, something worse. Right. And I remember once I was in a hurry. I was driving my, this was when my daughter was in school. And it was very difficult to hurry her to get ready. Right. And little children, small children like that, they take their own time to eat, they take their own time to, you know, dress up and so on. So we just did our best. And, and that particular morning, I think, I don't know, for whatever reason, previous night, maybe she slept late and she was very difficult to get her to, you know, hurry up. And then we, I was just hurrying her to school because if you don't go and the gates shut in this particular school where she studied, now the parent, you know, you have to go give a letter. And I didn't have time for that. I didn't want to get into that. So I just wanted to go and just get her into the classroom, into the, into the, you know, school gate. So I just, you know, just rushing and, and as I was going, I know, I didn't notice that there was a car right in front. Okay. And, and I hit the car. He was actually coming out of his house and I hit the car bumper. And he just, he was fuming. And thankfully, I had slowed down because it was at an intersection, right? I had to take a left turn. It was from the lane into the main road to take a left. So he was, you know, just backing out of the house. And it was a, it was a narrow lane, but I hadn't, I didn't see him at all. I was looking elsewhere at avoiding some of the truck, which was there. And then, anyway, I hit the bumper. It was, I was going slow. So thankfully it was okay. And, you know, he, he was filming, right? He is filming. He just came out, you know, are you blind? Can't, can't you see? You know, I'm right in front of you. And then, you know, I, it was, it was my fault completely. So, and I said, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't see you. Are you blind? Can't you see? It was a question. I said, I'm really sorry. I didn't see you at all. I completely, you know, I didn't see you. And I hid. I'm so sorry. I'll come back. I'm on my way to my daughter's school. I'm already late, but I'll come back. I'll take your number now. But I'll come back and we'll, you know, we'll sort it. So then he was okay. He was still upset. He wasn't sure whether he'll come back. But then, you know, I, anyway, he took my number. And I took his number and then I went. So I went, dropped my daughter in school and I just stopped by and stopped and collected my thoughts, collected, stop, started breathing normally. And then, and then, and then he called. He called and he said, you're still on. He sounded angry. He said, Hey, boss, you, you, you're the person who hit the car, right? I said, Yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm coming. I'm on my way. I'll come. And he said that that bumper, you know, just fell off the bumper that you hit this fell off the car. And I was like, Oh, God, here's more expenses. And I was like, Yeah, okay, no problem. I'll come. I'll pay for it. I'll get it repaired. Sure. Then he laughed. Then he laughed and said, No, no, no, I was just joking. It's fine. Yeah, don't worry. You know, I understand. Because he saw me. He saw my response and he saw my daughter in uniforms, school uniforms, seated there. Yeah. So in a long story, but just to say that our response, you know, in that the heat of the moment, in that situation, the tone of our voice really helps. It can either diffuse a problem, or it can really intensify it to a degree that, you know, it's going to take a long time to reconcile to, to set right the damages, right to. So I'm sure, you know, this is something that we have all experienced, right? In family, friends, with colleagues, you've experienced it, but at the same time, it's so difficult at times, right? The tone of our voice is very important that we, when we are polite, then when someone is angry, and in it's our mistake, when we own up to it, but we do it in a polite manner, and, and even correcting someone, you know, the tone of our voice helps, right? Helps to calm. And that's why scripture is very clear, you know, a soft answer turns away a lot. Okay. And also, you know, the temperature, again, you know, it talks about the fact that if our reaction, if our response to it, you know, tone talks about the voice and temperature, we can even consider some of the actions that some of the things that we do, some of the, maybe our body language, our reaction to it, if it is less than the action, then it brings down, diffuses the situation. Okay. So as we prepare to interact with people, let's remember this, right? And ask ourselves, am I overreacting to the situation? You know, sometimes you, you're in a meeting and people ask some questions, and that these are some issues that you've already, you know, sorted that you already settled. And, and you know, the answer is, you know, that person knows the answer, but because it's a public thing, you know, for whatever reason, the person brings up the issue again, it's something in the past, which has been sorted, dealt with. And the person asks the question again, maybe to show you in poor light, maybe to highlight that this person is the problem. Maybe brings up an issue or so ask some question. Now, at those times, you know, it's, it's important to remember this. It's important to remember this that our reaction, our response, if it's going to be like a hammer, it's going to create problems. But if you're not swinging the hammer, you know, you might be tempted to hold the hammer, lift the hammer, but you know, if you respond in a manner, like what John C. Maxwell talks about, you know, if you have a soft touch, then it can be, you know, it can redeem the situation, we can redeem the situation. So for us to remember that live the past day in the past, right, if it has been sorted, if it is in the past, don't bring that up again. But even if people bring it up, you don't have to respond, right? It's a question to ask, good question to ask ourselves, is my reaction part of the problem? My reaction to this, is it part of the problem? Sometimes, you know, lack of a response is also a reaction, like a non response. Maybe you are, you know, people are looking at you to say something encouraging. And well, you did not. Is my reaction part of the problem? We need to understand that actions are remembered. People remember actions, people do remember words, but people remember actions as well. Okay. And also, look at the relationship, value the relationship, whether it's professional, whether it's, you know, family friendship, value the relationship, and never let the situation, you know, be valued more than the relationship, like value the relationship, let that be like a boundary, let that help, you know, let that help fix the boundary of our response or reaction. Okay, treating others with unconditional love, and also, being honest, admitting wrongs, and asking forgiveness. Right? Really, our ego and pride will come in the way, you know, to really admit that we are wrong. Sometimes we don't want to, because, well, you see the rest, you know, you consider the person who is asking that question, you know that that person has probably 10, 10 things, 20 things that that person has done wrong. Okay, in that situation, to create, you know, a bad situation, right? It can happen in all environments can happen in ministry, it can happen in, you know, in family, it can happen in a secular setting. So, you know that, okay, you observe that this person shouldn't be asking this, right? I know I've done wrong, but then, you know, when you consider the other person who's got some 20 things, 30, maybe even more, you know, things, they've done wrong, and everyone knows it. And you don't want to admit that you're wrong. You know, you feel like pulling out each and everything that they have done wrong, instead. Right? But if they even if there's one thing that you have done that we have done wrong, you know, it's it's it's important that we admit that. Say, okay, yeah, this situation. It's a completely different thing. Yes, I did it. And it precipitated because of this, admitted. Okay. Okay. And ask for forgiveness. Right. So we looked at the hammer principle, we've looked at the brain pain principle and the elevator principle. The elevator principle is that to lift up people, to edify people and not to tear them down, not to bring them down. Okay, to be a person who will edify. We're not talking about flattery, but we're talking about genuine, you know, lifting up of people, people are either with words or with acts of kindness or with our action to lift up people. Okay. God is the lifter up of our heads. Psalm three and verse three talks about that. So let's lift up, let's speak words. Let's be like Barnabas, who encourage, in fact, his name means son of encouragement. And, you know, if you look at life of Barnabas, it's amazing how he brings Paul or Saul from insignificance and connects with their disciples. And that's one of the things that actually sets Paul on the path of his ministry, very early on, Barnabas does that. Right. And that one small act actually propels one of the one of the things that really propels Paul into the ministry into his, you know, missionary mission trips and so on. So let's be encourages. Okay, so four kinds of people when it comes to relationships, some people add something, we enjoy them, some people subtract something from our lives, we tolerate them, some people multiply things in our lives, you know, they interact with us, they multiply, we value them and people divide something or divide people we need to, you know, avoid. Okay. Okay, so any questions, anything that you want to add to this, I know it's a lot of theory, but really, you know, there's wisdom in it, because it's it comes out of practical life situations. Right. Before we move on to the other thing, any anything that you want to add any questions that you might have anything at all. Okay, so, so what we what you're going to do now is just move on to the next section, which is, you know, to help some to help us focus on others, to be other focused. Many times, the focus is usually on us. For example, if there is, you know, if there is, let's say a class photograph, or a group photograph that that we might have, and we put it up. Normally, you know, our, our reflex is, is to look for our own face in the photograph. Right, that will be the first thing to see where we are standing when you know that Okay, you know, I'm part of this, you try it out, right, if there's a, it's a group photograph, maybe a, you know, a class photograph or something, you know, you or family get together. Normally, you, you, you tend to see where you are in that, you know, how you look in that, and then you look at others, how others are. Right. That's our usual response. How am I looking in that? Right. So, I mean, that's, that's what I normally human tendency is. Now when it comes to relating to people, how can we focus on others? Right. How can we, you know, shift that focus from being self centered to the to be focused on others? And how do we do that? And because that is that will definitely help us in winning with people. Okay, to relating to people in a healthy way and winning with people. Okay, so let's, let's watch the video again, let's continue from where we left off and about focusing on others. Okay, let me play that. And then we will stop and then we'll discuss some more. This is the connection level. Which asks the question, are we willing to focus on others? And there are six people principles in it. Number six, the big picture principle, the big picture principle will says the entire population of the world with one minor exception is composed of others. And the question I must ask myself, do I have a hard time putting others first? When it comes to winning with people, everything begins with the ability to think about people other than ourselves. That is the most basic principle in building relationships. I know that may sound like common sense. Yet not everyone gets the big picture or practices unsolvishness. Instead, too many people act more like toddlers do, whose perspective is something like this. If I like it, it's mine. If I can take it away from you, it's mine. If I had it a while ago, it's mine. If I say it is mine, it's mine. If it looks like mine, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you're having fun with it, it's definitely mine. If you lay it down, it's mine. And if it's broken, it's yours. Seeing the big picture requires the following. Number one, perspective. People who lack perspective are like Lucy in the Peanuts comic strip by Charles Schultz. In one strip while Lucy swings on the playground, Charlie Brown reads to her, it says here that the world revolves around the sun once a year. Lucy stops abruptly and responds, the world revolves around the sun? Are you sure I thought it revolved around me? Early in my career, I really made this relational mistake. Because early in my career, as I would go to the group of people that I was leading, the first question I would always ask myself is, how can these people help me? First question. Boy, I wonder how I can motivate these people to see my vision. I wonder how I can really get them on my train and get them on the bandwagon. I wonder how long is it going to take before I can get those people to really come alongside of me? The leader's first question is not how can those people help me, but how can I help those people? For us to see the big picture, number two, maturity. There has to be some maturity in our life. Now, every once in a while, I'll talk to young people about this and somebody will come alongside and say, well, you know, they're young. Give them some time. You know, you've got to give them some time. And it's very true. A lot of times, young people are immature. But I've not really discovered that maturity accompanies age. Sometimes age comes alone. I know a lot of people are getting older, but they're not getting better. Now, our two oldest granddaughters, Maddie, is four and Hannah will be four very soon. They spent a week with us and both Hannah and Maddie kind of think that I am their personal servant. And they get up every morning and they have their whole list of things to do for me. Papa, let's get on the golf cart. Let's go chase the ducks. Let's go to the playground. Let's go to the snack hut, Papa. And we'll go to the snack hut and I'll mess up their appetite for lunch. And then everybody wonders why they're not hungry, but we don't talk about that. There are some things you don't tell the other people in the room. Those hot dogs are a lot better than what they're going to have at the lunch anyway. They were with us for a whole week. And I mean, every day they could hardly wait to get up and have me do something for them. Not one time. I kid you not. Not one time in seven days did Hannah or Maddie come up to me and said, Papa, we've been talking. You do so much for us. What? What could we do for you today? Not one time did it enter those four-year-old girls' mind that they should do anything for me. And that's okay. Therefore, it's very sad when you're 40 and you still think like that. That's why I used Bob Buford's diagram in his book, Half Time, that shows you basically two ways that people have their lives. And if you look at those two kind of circles, one is going inward and one is going outward. And in your notes, while the first half self is small, the second half self is large. The first half self winds inward, wrapping tighter and tighter around itself, and the second half winds outward, unraveling itself from the paralysis of a tightly wound spring. The small self contains only you. It's basically alienated and alone and pathologically individualistic. The larger self is whole because it is bonded with something transcendent. Self-transcendence has legs. It goes the distance and completes the race. So to see the big picture, perspective, maturity, and number three, responsibility. I have there a recipe in your notes for a miserable life. These are words about emotional poverty and self-centeredness. Here's a recipe for a miserable life. Think about yourself. Talk about yourself. Use eye as often as possible. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others. Listen greedily to what people say about you. Expect to be appreciated. Be suspicious. Be jealous and envious. Be sensitive to slights. Never forgive a criticism. Trust nobody but yourself. Insist on consideration and respect. Demand agreement with your own views on everything. Salk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown to them. Never forget a service you may have rendered. Be on the lookout for a good time for yourself. Shirk your duties if you can. Do as little as possible for others. Love yourself supremely. Be selfish. For some of us, we can put a picture right there, can't we? We can put a face right there. People principle number seven, the exchange principle. The exchange principle says instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place. Sometimes when you give a person a piece of your mind, you lose your own piece of mind. The question I must ask myself is do I try to see others to see things from others point of view? Here's what I've discovered about the exchange principle. Number one, we naturally do not see ourselves and others from the same perspective. Longfellow was right when he said, we judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing while others judge us by what we have already done. I came across a piece called whose point of view that captures our nature and describes it well. When the other fellow takes a long time, he's slow. When I take a long time, I'm thorough. When the other fellow doesn't do it, he's lazy. But when I don't do it, I'm busy. When the other fellow does something without being told, he's overstabbing his bounds. But when I do it, that's initiative. The other fellow overlooks a rule of etiquette. He's rude. When I skip a few rules, I'm original. When the other fellow pleases the boss, he's an apple polisher. But when I please the boss, well, now that's cooperation. When the other fellow gets ahead, he's getting all the breaks. But when I managed to get ahead, that's just the reward for hard work. Perspective whose point of view. Number two, when we fail to see things from the perspective of others, we fail in our relationships. In other words, when we fail the exchange principle, we fail to put ourselves in the place of others, almost always relationships deteriorate. And I love this piece called the hot air balloon. A man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost. He reduced altitude spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am. The one below replied, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground between 40 and 41 degrees north altitude in between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude. You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. I am replied the woman. How did you know? Well answered the balloonist. Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information. And the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip. The one below responded, you must be in management. I am replied the balloonist, but how did you know? Well said the woman, you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is you aren't exactly the same position you were before we met, but now somehow you've managed to make it my fault. Now how do we see things from another person's perspective? Okay, let's see if we can get real practical here. Number one, leave your place and visit their place. Literally, exchange places. For example, many years ago, before I traveled a lot internationally, I used to think that that if you just worked hard, you could prosper. Then I started going to developing countries. And I saw people work a lot harder than I work. A lot harder than the average American work. And all of a sudden I realized when I got to their place and saw it where they lived, hard work was not going to bring prosperity to them. Harry Truman said, when we understand the other fellow's viewpoint, understand what he is trying to do nine times out of 10, he is trying to do right. I love to play a game. My wife and I play word games. And I love word games. One of the games we love to play is boggle. We play advanced boggle. We don't play the simple stuff. And basically, you shake up letters, and then you have to make words out of them. What's interesting is, everybody is looking at the same letters. I mean, it's not like Scrabble where you have an advantage if you have better letters than someone else and sometimes you just pick bad letters and so there, boy, you're kind of stuck. Everybody's looking the same letters. It's so revealing. Because I have a feeling because after your three minute time limit, people will have different words out of those letters and all of a sudden you'll start to see them. But you didn't see them until somebody begins to point them out and all of a sudden it's right in front of me. But what we do about halfway through the game is we turn the boggle around just so we can see those letters from a different perspective. It's amazing what happens when you just leave your place and go around to the other side and look at the same thing. Number two, acknowledge that the other person has a valid viewpoint. Please don't be arrogant enough to think that there's only one viewpoint and it's yours and that's the right one. Number three, check your attitude. So much of the problem is based on wrong attitude and for ask others what they would do in your situation. This is a great way to do the exchange principle in your notes. Saturday review article and Landers tells what she has learned about people through the letters that she has received. She said, since I began writing this column, I have learned plenty including most meaningfully what Leo Rostin had in mind when he said each of us is a little only deep inside and cries to be understood. I have learned how it is with the stumbling tortured people in this world who have nobody to talk to. The fact that the column has been a success underscores for me at least the central tragedy of society, the disconnectedness, the insecurity, the fear that bedevils cripples and paralyzes so many of us. I have learned that financial success, academic achievement, and social or political status open no doors to peace of mind or inner security. We are all wonders like sheep on this planet. People principle number eight, the learning principle. The learning principle says each person we meet has potential to teach us something. Of course, Lily Armstrong said there are some people that if they don't know you can't tell them. And the question I must ask myself, do I approach people with the desire to learn from them? Three attitudes about learning from others. Number one, no one can teach me anything. That's an arrogant attitude. The reality is that no one is too old, too smart, or too successful to learn something new. The only thing that can come between a person and the ability to learn and improve is a bad attitude. I can remember in one of my transitions in my career of going and spending quite a bit of time before I took this leader's place, spending time with him, and one of the things that was very apparent in my first visit out to where I was going. And my first visit with him was the fact that he was very proud of who they were, what they had accomplished, they had some success. And basically he said, the difficult thing is I have nowhere to send my staff because my staff basically knows it all. And I thought, oh my goodness, we're in real deep weeds here. And because of this attitude that no one can teach me something, he and the staff had stopped, oh my goodness, for at least 12 years learning and growing. But I see a lot of people who basically say nobody can teach me anything. A second attitude about learning from others is the person who says, someone can teach me everything. And that's a naive attitude. When you think that someone can teach you everything, there is major naiveness there. In fact, I would say this, over the last 10 years mentoring has been very big. People, well, every day want me to be their mentor, or people ask me every day, who is your mentor? And I tell them, I don't have a mentor. I don't mean this unkindly, I've not met anybody yet. It's so smart in every area and has so much wisdom in every area that they can be my mentor. Now, I have a lot of people that mentor me. I have a lot of people who really come alongside of me and help me and give me their wisdom and teach me out of their experiences, and I have probably 12 or 15 mentors if I don't have one mentor. I think it's very naive. And I think it's not only naive. I think you set yourself up for major failure when you think one person can teach you everything. And I always worry about the mentor who thinks he can teach you everything. I want to go up and say, is anybody home? Is anybody home? Because I think part of wisdom and part of maturing is the more that we know, the more we know that we don't know. Isn't that true? When I was young, I offered advice on everything. As I've gotten older, the list has been greatly reduced along with the humbling of the experiences of life. So the two attitudes, I think they're both not good ones, the arrogant attitude, no one can teach me anything and the naive attitude, someone can teach me everything. I think they're both wrong. I think number three is right. Everyone can teach me something. And I think that's a teachable attitude or a spirit. In other words, every person I meet, if I search out and seek out and ask questions and really desire to understand and learn, everybody I meet has something that they can teach me. So how do you learn from others? Number one, make learning your passion. Philip Crosby says there's a theory of human behavior that says people subconsciously retired their own intellectual growth. They come to rely on cliches and habits. Wow. Once they reach the age of their own personal comfort with the world, they stop learning and their mind runs on idle for the rest of their days. They may progress organizationally, they may be ambitious and eager, and they may even work night and day, but they learn no more. If you desire to keep growing, you cannot sit back in a comfort zone. You need to make learning your goal. Do that and you will never run out of gas mentality and your motivation will be strong. And don't worry about having people to teach you. Greek philosopher Plato said when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear. So how do you learn from others? Make learning your passion. Number two, value people. I can still remember as a young man and an experience I had where I went to a conference to listen to three major speakers that I just felt would help me tremendously, and the three major speakers did a very good job. But they had what they called an idea exchange. Well, they put about 500 of us in a room and we shared ideas. And I'll never forget, as I sat there for two hours writing ideas down from other people who were sitting at tables with me, I came away and I realized that day that the three experts that I went to hear helped me. But oh my goodness, the idea exchange was so much better for me. And I walked out of that day and I said to myself, I have made a mistake. I place way too high value on the experts and way too little value on fellow travelers in the same journey. And it was out of that that I began to just value people and value what I could learn from them. Number three, develop relationships with growth potential. It is true that everyone has something to teach us, but that doesn't mean that anyone can teach us everything we want to learn. We've already talked about that. We need to find people who are especially likely to help us grow. Experts in our field, creative thinkers who will stretch us mentally, achievers who will inspire us to go to the next level. Learning is often the reward for spending time with remarkable people. Who they are and what they know will rub off. As Clifton and Nelson said, relationships help us define who we are and what we become. I have made it a habit in my life to every month have what I call a learning lunch. And every month I seek out people, most of whom I have never met. It may be an author of a book that's going to be in a town where I'm going to go and I've read their book and I'll call and ask if I can have a lunch with them. But every month I have a learning lunch, at least once. Sometimes I get two or three in, but always have one. Always, I always set up one for sure. I mean get that one nailed down. And in that learning lunch I have a series of questions. I referred to in another lesson of having dinner with Jim Collins and Francis Hesselbein. I kid you not, I prepared four hours for that lunch. And when I went to the table, you see most people when they go to the table they think they should eat food. I can eat food anywhere. I've got my questions. Well, I hope you were taking notes, right? So very practical insights there and very useful, right? At least for me. Personally, I don't know how you felt, but a lot of wisdom over there, right? Just wanted to highlight one thing, you know, like when he talked about viewpoints and also about the exchange principle that everyone has a valid viewpoint. Of course, we're not talking about absolutes here, you know, we're not talking about absolute truth and the validity of, you know, of that. When we consider, you know, we know what absolute truth is, but when it comes to, you know, solving of problems, when it comes to learning, yeah, everyone has, and even in matters of, you know, matters where people differ from us and we can definitely, from their place, learn where they are coming from and why they think what they think, right? Okay. Right. So we'll stop here. You guys have a great weekend. God bless you. And we will meet again next week. God bless. Bye-bye. Thank you for the question. Thank you. See you. Bye-bye. Thank you best. Thank you. See you guys. Bye-bye.