 don't want to draw people's criticism. In fact, quite the opposite. I would really like people to like me. I would. So, since I know I have this trait that I can't change, that people don't like, I go to great lengths to develop all the other traits that people will like. So, I put a significant amount of time and energy into being, well, likable. So, that when discriminatory things happen, maybe I can turn it around. The decision every day to come out or not at work, at home, at PTA, at music, at soccer, it's exhausting. If, for example, I'm on a plane and somebody comes up and I've saved a seat for Sandy, but she's not there yet and they say, is that saved? And I say, yes, it's for my partner. And they say, oh, well, then could you please move so I could sit there? Or if we're at a store and people want to know if we're sisters or cousins or friends and I have to decide every day if I want to come out everywhere I go and take the chance that somebody will have a hostile reaction or just go there and buy the microwave we went there to buy without having to go through all that again. Remember the first time I met Sandy thinking that she was maybe the sparkliest person I ever met. And our friendship became more and more. It became deeper and deeper over time. And after a few years, I began to feel that I might be falling in love with her. And how did she feel about you? She told me she loved me too. We will be asking her to verify that. Okay. When I was 21 and she was 19, my sister was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. The summer I graduated from college, she died. I was the only biological child my parents had left. Losing Karen changed us all. Not necessarily for the best. We all fumbled through the sadness for years after that. It really felt like we'd be devastated and broken forever. My 20s were so wrapped up in grieving and healing, but I eventually came out of it. And when I did, I felt crystal clear that I wanted a family. I wanted to give birth. I wanted to feel connected to my kids the way I had to my parents and Karen when she was alive. I was unequivocal, unequivocal in my desire to have kids and bring the best parts of my sister, our family, and our future together. The rest is pretty typical. My partner of seven years and I started the process of learning how to get pregnant. Yes, lesbians have to learn how. I went to a considering parenthood class for lesbians. We chose a donor. We started inseminating. And after a year and a half, I decided to use fertility medication. And that's when it worked. I got pregnant the spring of 1994. I was eight months pregnant on my 30th birthday and bigger than our little house. You boys were born at UCSF on October 30 by C-section. I will not give you the OR details. But you were not accidents. You were not irresponsible. You two are about the most responsible, important, meaningful things I will ever do in my whole life. And don't you ever let anyone ever make you feel any different. You got it. We still don't want to get out tonight. Fine, tacos, take out whatever you want.