 Chapter 50 and 51 of Don Quixote Volume 2. Don Quixote Volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes Savedra, translated by William Ormsby. Chapter 50. Her in is set forth who the enchanters and executioners were, who flogged the duena and pinched Don Quixote, and also what befell the page, who carried the letter to Teresa Pansa, Sancho Pansa's wife. Si de Amede, the painstaking investigator of the minute points of this voracious history, says that when Donia Rodriguez left her own room to go to Don Quixotes, another duena who slept with her observed her, and as all duenas are fond of prying, listening, and sniffing, she followed her so silently that the good Rodriguez never perceived it, and as soon as the duena saw her enter Don Quixote's room, not to fail in a duena's invariable practice of tattling, she hurried off that instant to report to the duchess how Donia Rodriguez was closeted with Don Quixote. The duchess told the duke, and asked him to let her and Altissadora go and see what the said duena wanted with Don Quixote. The duke gave them leave, and the pair cautiously and quietly crept to the door of the room and posted themselves so close to it that they could hear all that was said inside. But when the duchess heard how the Rodriguez had made public the aranjues of her issues, she could not restrain herself, nor Altissadora either, and so filled with rage and thirsting for vengeance, they burst into the room and tormented Don Quixote and flogged the duena in the manner already described, for indignities offered to their charms and self-esteem might only provoke the anger of women and make them eager for revenge. The duchess told the duke what had happened, and he was much amused by it, and she, in pursuance of her design of making Mary and diverting herself with Don Quixote, dispatched the page who had played the part of Dulcinea in the negotiations for her disenchantment, which Sancho Pansa in the cares of government had forgotten all about, to Teresa Pansa, his wife, with her husband's letter and another from herself, and also a great string of fine coral beads as a present. Now the history says this page was very sharp and quick-witted, and eager to serve his lord and lady, he set off very willingly for Sancho's village. Before he entered it he observed a number of women washing in a brook, and asked them if they could tell him whether there lived there a woman of the name of Teresa Pansa, wife of one Sancho Pansa, squired to a knight called Don Quixote of La Mancha. At the question a young girl who was washing stood up and said, Teresa Pansa is my mother, and that Sancho is my father, and that knight is our master. Well then, Miss, said the page, come and show me where your mother is, for I bring her a letter and a present from your father. That I will do with all my heart, Sanyor, said the girl, who seemed to be about fourteen more or less, and leaving the clothes she was washing to one of her companions, and without putting anything on her head or feet, for she was bare-legged and had her hair hanging about her, away she skipped in front of the page's horse, saying, Come your worship, our house is at the entrance of the town, and my mother is there, sorrowful enough at not having had any news of my father this ever so long. Well, said the page, I am bringing her such good news that she will have reason to thank God. And then, skipping, running, and capering, the girl reached the town, but before going into the house she called out at the door, come out, Mother Teresa, come out, come out. There was a gentleman with letters and other things from my good father. At these words her mother Teresa Pansa came out, spinning a bundle of flaks in a gray petticoat, so short was it one could have fancied they to her shame had cut it short, a gray bodice of the same stuff and a smock. She was not very old, though plainly past forty, strong, healthy, vigorous, and sun-dried, and seeing her daughter in the page on horseback she exclaimed, What's this child? What gentleman is this? A servant of my lady, Doña Teresa Pansa, replied the page, and, suiting the action to the word, he flung himself off his horse, and with great humility advanced to kneel before the Lady Teresa, saying, Let me kiss your hand, Senora Doña Teresa, as the lawful and only wife of Senor Don Sancho Pansa, rightful governor of the island of Barataria. Ah, Senor, get up, do that, said Teresa, for I'm not a bit of a court lady, but only a poor countrywoman, the daughter of a clod crusher, and the wife of a squire errant and not of any governor at all. You are, said the page, the most worthy wife of a most arch-worthy governor, and as proof of what I say except this letter and this present, and at the same time he took out of his pocket a string of coral beads with gold clasps and placed it on her neck and said, This letter is from his lordship the governor, and the other as well as these coral beads from my lady the duchess, who sends me to your worship. Teresa stood lost in astonishment, and her daughter just as much, and the girl said, May I die but our master Don Quixotes at the bottom of this. He must have given father the government or county he so often promised him. That is the truth, said the page, for it is through S. Don Quixote that S. Sancho is now governor of the island of Barataria as will be seen by this letter. Will your worship read it to me, noble sir? said Teresa, for though I can spin I can't read, not a scrap. Nor I either, said Sanchica, but wait a bit and I'll fetch someone who can read it, either the curate himself or the bachelor Samson Carrasco, and they'll come gladly to hear any news of my father. There is no need to fetch anybody, said the page, for though I can't spin I can read, and I'll read it, and so he read it through, but as it has already been given it is not inserted here, and then he took out the other one from the duchess which ran as follows. Friend Teresa, your husband Sancho's good qualities of heart as well as of head, induced and compelled me to request my husband the duke to give him the government of one of his many islands. I am told he governs like a gerfalken, of which I am very glad, and my lord the duke, of course, also, and I am very thankful to heaven that I have not made a mistake in choosing him for that same government, for I would have S. Teresa know that a good governor is hard to find in this world, and may God make me as good as Sancho's way of governing. Herewith I send you, my dear, a string of coral beads with gold clasps. I wish they were oriental pearls, but he who gives thee a bone does not wish to see thee dead. A time will come when we shall become acquainted and meet one another, but God knows the future. Commend me to your daughter Sanchica, and tell her from me to hold herself in readiness, for I mean to make a high match for her when she least expects it. They tell me there are big acorns in your village. Send me a couple of dozen or so, and I shall value them greatly as coming from your hand, and write to me at length to assure me of your health and well-being. And if there be anything you stand in need of, it is but to open your mouth, and that shall be the measure, and so God keep you. From this place your loving friend the duchess. Ah, what a good plain lowly lady, said Teresa when she heard the letter, that I may be buried with ladies of that sort, and not the gentle women we have in this town, that fancy because they are gentle women, the wind must not touch them, and go to church with as much heirs as if they were queens, no less, and seem to think they are disgraced if they look at a farmer's wife. And see here how this good lady, for all she's a duchess, calls me friend, and treats me as if I was her equal, and equal may I see her with the tallest church tower in La Mancha. And as for the acorn's senor, I'll send her ladyship a peck, and such big ones that one might come to see them as a show and a wonder. And now, son Chica, see that the gentleman is comfortable. Put up his horse, and get some eggs out of the stable, and cut plenty of bacon, and let's give him his dinner like a prince. For the good news he has brought, and his own bonny face deserve it all. And meanwhile I'll run out and give the neighbors the news of our good luck, and father Curate, and master Nicholas the barber, who are and always have been such friends of thy fathers. That I will, mother, said son Chica, but mind you must give me half of that string, for I don't think my lady the duchess could have been so stupid as to send it all to you. It is all for thee, my child, said Theresa, but let me wear it round my neck for a few days, for verily it seems to make my heart glad. You will be glad, too, said the page, when you see the bundle there is in this portmanteau, for it is a suit of the finest cloth that the governor only wore one day out hunting and now sends, all for senora son Chica. May he live a thousand years, said son Chica, and the bearer as many, may two thousand if needful. With this Theresa hurried out of the house with the letters, and with the string of beads round her neck, and went along thrumming the letters as if they were a tambourine, and by chance coming across the curate in Samson Carrasco, she began capering and saying, None of us poor now, Faith, we've got a little government. I let the finest fine lady tackle me, and I'll give her a setting down. What's all this, Theresa Pansa, said they? What madness is this, and what papers are those? The madness is only this, said she, that these are the letters of duchesses and governors, and these I have on my neck are fine coral beads, with ave marias and pattern nostres of beaten gold, and I am a governess. God help us, said the curate, we don't understand you, Theresa, or know what you are talking about. There you may see it yourselves, said Theresa, and she handed him the letters. The curate read them out for Samson Carrasco to hear, and Samson and he regarded one another with looks of astonishment at what they had read, and the bachelor asked who had brought the letters. Theresa, in reply, bade them come with her to her house, and they would see the messenger, a most elegant youth, who had brought another present which was worth as much more. The curate took the coral beads from her neck and examined them again and again, and having satisfied himself as to their fineness, he fell to wondering afresh and said, By the gown I wear, I don't know what to say or think of these letters and presents. On the one hand I can see and feel the fineness of these coral beads, and on the other I read how a duchess sends to beg for a couple of dozen of acorns. Square that, if you can, said Carrasco, Well, let's go and see this messenger, and from him we'll learn something about this mystery that has turned up. They did so, and Theresa returned with them. They found the page sifting a little barley for his horse, and Sanchica cutting a rasher of bacon to be paved with eggs for his dinner. His looks and his handsome apparel pleased them both greatly, and after they had saluted him courteously, and he them, Samson begged him to give them his news, as well of Don Quixote as of Sancho Pansa. For, he said, though they had read the letters from Sancho and her ladyship the duchess, they were still puzzled and could not make out what was meant by Sancho's government, and above all of an island, when all or most of those in the Mediterranean belonged to his majesty. To this the page replied, as to St. George Sancho Pansa as being a governor there is no doubt whatever, but whether it is an island or not that he governs, with that I have nothing to do, suffice it that it is a town of more than a thousand inhabitants. With regard to the acorns I may tell you my lady the duchess is so unpretending and unassuming that, not to speak of sending to beg for acorns from a peasant woman, she has been known to send to ask for the loan of a comb from one of her neighbors. For I would have your worships know that the ladies of Aragon, though they are just as illustrious, are not so punctilious and haughty as the Castilian ladies. They treat people with greater familiarity. In the middle of this conversation Sanchica came in with her skirt full of eggs, and she said to the page, Tell me, senor, does my father wear truncos since he has been governor? I have not noticed, said the page, but he no doubt wears them. Ah, my God, said Sanchica, what a sight it must be to have my father in tights. Isn't it odd that ever since I was born I have had a longing to see my father in truncos? As things go you will see that if you live, said the page. By God he is in the way to take the road with the sunshade if the government only lasts him two months more. The curate and the bachelor could see plainly enough that the page spoke in a wagish vein, but the fineness of the coral beads and the hunting suit that Sanchica sent, for Teresa had already shown it to them, did away with the impression, and they could not help laughing at Sanchica's wish and still more when Teresa said, Senor curate, look about if there's anybody here going to Madrid or Toledo to buy me a hooped petticoat, a proper fashionable one of the best quality. For indeed and indeed I must do honour to my husband's government as well as I can. Nay, if I am put to it and have to, I'll go to court and set a coach like all the world, for she who has a governor for her husband may very well have one and keep one. And why not, mother, said Sanchica, would to God it were today instead of tomorrow, even though they were to say when they saw me seated in the coach with my mother, see that rubbish that garlic-stuffed fellow's daughter, how she goes stretched at her ease in a coach as if she was a sheep-hope. But let them tramp through the mud and let me go in my coach with my feet off the ground. Bad luck to back-biter's all over the world. Let me go warm and the people may laugh. Do I say right, mother? To be sure you do, my child, said Teresa, and all this good luck and even more, my good Sancho foretold me, and thou wilt see my daughter. He won't stop till he has made me account us. For to make a beginning is everything in luck, and as I have heard thy good father say many a time, for besides being thy father, he's the father of proverbs, too. When they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter. When they offer thee a government, take it. When they would give thee a county, seize it. When they say, here, here, to thee, with something good, swallow it. Oh no, go to sleep and don't answer the strokes of good fortune and the lucky chances that are knocking at the door of your house. And what do I care, added Sanchica, whether anybody says when he sees me holding my head up, the dog saw himself in hempen breeches and the rest of it. Hearing this, the curate said, I do believe that all this family of the ponsas are born with a sack full of proverbs in their insides, every one of them. I never saw one of them that does not pour them out at all times and on all occasions. That is true, said the page, for senior Governor Sancho utters them at every turn, and though a great many of them are not to the purpose, still they amuse one, and my lady the duchess and the duke praise them highly. Then you still maintain that all this about Sancho's government is true, senior, said the bachelor, and that there actually is a duchess who sends him presents and writes to him? Because we, although we have handled the present and read the letters, don't believe it and suspect it to be something in the line of our fellow townsman, Don Quixote, who fancies that everything is done by enchantment. And for this reason I am almost ready to say that I'd like to touch and feel your worship to see whether you are a mere ambassador of the imagination or a man of flesh and blood. While I know, sirs, replied the page, is that I am a real ambassador, and that senior Sancho Pansa is governor as a matter of fact, and that my lord and lady the duke and duchess can give and have given him this same government, and that I have heard the said Sancho Pansa bears himself very stoutly therein. Whether there be any enchantment in all this or not, it is for your worships to settle between you. For that's all I know by the oath I swear, and that is by the life of my parents, whom I have still alive and love dearly. It may be so, said the bachelor, but dubitat Augustinus. Doubt who will, said the page, what I have told you is the truth, and that will always rise above falsehood as oil above water, if not au pairibus credite, at known verbus. Let one of you come with me, and he will see with his eyes what he does not believe with his ears. It's for me to make that trip, said Sanchiica. Take me with you, senor, behind you on your horse, for I'll go with all my heart to see my father. Governor's daughters, said the page, must not travel along the roads alone but accompanied by coaches and litters and a great number of attendants. By God, said Sanchiica, I can go as well mounted on a she-ass as in a coach. What a dainty lass you must take me for! Hush, girl, said Teresa. You don't know what you're talking about. The gentleman is quite right, for, as the time saw the behavior. When it was Sancho, it was Sancha. When it is Governor, it's Senora. I don't know if I'm right. Senora Teresa says more than she is aware of, said the page, and now give me something to eat and let me go at once, for I mean to return this evening. Come and do penance with me, said the curate at this, for Senora Teresa has more will than means to serve so worthy a guest. The page refused but had to consent at last for his own sake, and the curate took him home with him very gladly in order to have an opportunity of questioning him at leisure about Don Quixote and his doings. The bachelor offered to write the letters in reply for Teresa, but she did not care to let him mix himself up in her affairs, for she thought him somewhat given to joking. And so she gave a cake and a couple of eggs to a young acolyte, who was a penman, and he wrote for her two letters, one for her husband and the other for the duchess, dictated out of her own head, which are not the worst inserted in this great history, as will be seen farther on. CHAPTER 51 OF THE PROGRESS OF SONCHO'S GOVERNMENT AND OTHER SUCH ENTERTAINING MATTERS They came after the night of the governor's round, a night in which the head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the face and air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the major domo spent what was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings, for there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his words and deeds. The senior governor got up, and by Dr. Pedro Ració's they made him break his fast on a little conserve and four sups of cold water, which Sancho would have readily exchanged for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes. But seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with no little sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach. Pedro Ració, having persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that was what was most essential for persons placed in command and in responsible situations, where they have to employ not only the bodily powers but those of the mind also. By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger and hunger so keen that in his heart he cursed the government and even him who had given it to him. However, with his hunger and his concert he undertook to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that came before him was a question that was submitted to him by a stranger in the presence of the major domo and the other attendants, and it was in these words. Sainior, a large river separated two districts of one and the same lordship. Will your worship please to pay attention for the case is an important and rather naughty one? Well, then, on this river there was a bridge, and at one end of it a gallows and a sort of tribunal, where four judges commonly sat to administer the law which the lord of river, bridge, and the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect. If anyone crosses by this bridge from one side to the other, he shall declare an oath where he is going to and with what object, and if he swears truly he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely he shall be put to death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there without any remission. Though the law and its severe penalty were known many persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at once they were telling the truth and the judges let them pass free. It happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his declaration, swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to die upon that gallows that stood there and nothing else. The judges held a consultation over the oath and they said, if we let this man pass free he has sworn falsely and by the law he ought to die, but if we hang him, as he swore he was going to die on that gallows and therefore swore the truth, by the same law he ought to go free. It is asked of your worship, senior governor, what are the judges to do with this man, for they are still in doubt and perplexity, and having heard of your worship's acute and exalted intellect they have sent me to entreat your worship on their behalf to give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case. To this Sancho made answer, indeed those gentlemen the judges that send you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I have more of the obtuse than the acute in me, but repeat the case over again so that I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point. The queerest repeated again and again what he had said before, and then Sancho said, it seems to me I can set the matter right in a moment and in this way. The man swears that he is going to die upon the gallows, but if he dies upon it he has sworn the truth and by the law enacted deserves to go free and pass over the bridge, but if they don't hang him then he has sworn falsely and by the same law deserves to be hanged. It is as the St. York Governor says, said the messenger, and as regards a complete comprehension of the case there is nothing left to desire or hesitate about. Well then I say, said Sancho, that of this man they should let pass the part that has sworn truly and hang the part that has lied, and in this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied with. But then St. York Governor replied the queerest, the man will have to be divided into two parts, and if he is divided of course he will die, and so none of the requirements of the law will be carried out, and it is absolutely necessary to comply with it. Look here, my good sir, said Sancho. Either I'm a numbskull, or else there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and passing over the bridge, for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally condemns him, and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to the gentleman who sent you to me, that as the arguments for condemning him and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil. This I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign. And what I have said in this case is not but of my own head, but one of the many precepts my Master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become governor of this island that came into my mind, and it was this, that when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to mercy, and it is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits this case as if it was made for it. That is true, said the Major Domo, and I maintain that like Hergus himself, who gave laws to the Lassid demonians, could not have pronounced a better decision than the great panza has given. Let the morning's audience close with this, and I will see that the senior governor has dinner entirely to his liking. That's all I ask for, fair play, said Sancho. Give me my dinner, and then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I'll dispatch them in a twinkling. The Major Domo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience to kill so wise a governor by hunger, particularly as he intended to have done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was commissioned to practice upon him. It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in opposition of the rules and aphorisms of Dr. Tirte Afuera, as they were taking away the cloth, there came a courier with a letter from Don Quixote for the governor. Sancho ordered the Secretary to read it to himself, and if there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy, to read it aloud. The Secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the contents he said, it may well be read aloud for what Sr. Don Quixote writes to your worship deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as follows. Don Quixote of La Mancha's Letter to Sancho Pansa, Governor of the Island of Barataria When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense, for which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from the dung hill and the fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost govern, as if thou were to man, and art a man as if thou were to beast, so great is the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the authority of office to resist the humility of the heart. For the seemly array of one who is invested with grave duties should be such as they require and not measured by what his own humble tastes may lead him to prefer. Dress well, a stick dressed up does not look like a stick. I do not say thou shouldst wear trinkets or fine raiment, for that being a judge thou shouldst dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array thyself in the apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it be neat and handsome. To win the goodwill of the people thou governest, there are two things among others that thou must do. One is to be civil to all, this, however, I told thee before, and the other to take care that food be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the poor more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations, but those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that they be observed and carried out. For proclamations that are not observed are the same as if they did not exist. Nay, they encourage the idea that the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the power to enforce them, and laws that threaten and are not enforced come to be like the log, the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first, but that in time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always lenient, but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in that is the aim of wisdom. Visit the jails, the slaughterhouses, and the marketplaces, for the presence of the governor is of great importance in such places. It comforts the prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release. It is the bugbearer of the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the terror of the market women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that thou art, even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe, covetous a follower of women or a glutton. For when the people and those that have dealings with thee become aware of thy special weakness, they will bring their batteries to bear upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought thee down to the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and con over again the advices and the instructions I give thee before thy departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in them, if thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for thee the troubles and difficulties that beset governors at every step. Right to thy lord and lady, and show thyself grateful to them, for in gratitude is the daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we know of. And he who is grateful to those who have been good to him, shows that he will be so to God also, who has bestowed and still bestows so many blessings upon him. My Lady the Duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another present to thy wife Theresa Pansa. We expect the answer every moment. I have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in for, not very much to the benefit of my nose, but it was nothing, for if there are enchanters who maltreat me, there are also some who defend me. Let me know if the Major Domo who is with thee had any share in the Trafaldi performance as thou didst suspect, and keep me informed of everything that happens thee, as the distance is so short. All the more as I am thinking of giving over very shortly this idle life I am now leading, for I was not born for it. A thing has occurred to me which I am inclined to think will put me out of favor with the Duke and Duchess, but though I am sorry for it I do not care, for after all I must obey my calling rather than their pleasure, in accordance with the common saying, Amicus Plateau said Magus Amica Veritas. I quote this Latin to thee because I conclude that since thou hast been a governor, thou wilt have learned it. Adieu, God keep thee from being an object of pity to any one. Thy friend, Don Quixote of La Mancha. Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was praised and considered wise by all who heard it. He then rose up from the table, and calling his secretary shut himself in with him in his own room, and without putting it off any longer said about answering his master Don Quixote at once, and he bade the secretary write down what he told him without adding or suppressing anything, which he did, and the answer was to the following effect. Sancho Panza's letter to Don Quixote of La Mancha. The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time to scratch my head or even to cut my nails, and I have them so long, God send a remedy for it. I say this, Master of my soul, that you may not be surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I fare, well or ill, in this government, in which I am suffering more hunger than when we too were wandering through the woods and wastes. My Lord the Duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain spies had got into this island to kill me, but up to the present I have not found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary in this town for killing all the governors that come here. He is called Dr. Pedro Recio and is from Tirtia Fuera, so you see what a name he has to make me dread dying under his hands. This doctor says of himself that he does not cure diseases when there are any, but prevents them coming, and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet until he brings one down to bear bones, as if leanness was not worse than fever. In short he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying myself of vexation, for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my meat hot and my drink cool and take my ease between Holland sheets on feather beds, I find I have come to do penance as if I were a hermit, and as I don't do it willingly, I suspect that in the end the devil will carry me off. So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes, and I don't know what to think of it, for here they tell me that the governors that come to this island before entering it have plenty of money either given to them or lent to them by the people of the town, and that this is the usual custom not only here, but with all who enter upon governments. Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in men's clothes and a brother of hers dressed as a woman. My head carver has fallen in love with the girl and has in his own mind chosen her for a wife, so he says, and I have chosen youth for a son-in-law, today we are going to explain our intentions to the father of the pair, who is one Diego de Laiana, a gentleman and an old Christian as much as you please. I have visited the market places as your worship advises me, and yesterday I found a stallkeeper selling new hazelnuts and proved her to have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of new. I confiscated the whole for the children of the charity school, who will know how to distinguish them well enough, and I sentenced her not to come into the market place for a fortnight. They told me I did bravely. I can tell your worship it is commonly said in this town that there are no people worse than the market women, for they are all bare-faced, unconscionable and impudent, and I can well believe it from what I have seen of them in other towns. I am very glad my Lady the Duchess has written to my wife to raise a pansa and send her the present your worship speaks of, and I will strive to show myself grateful when the time comes. Kiss her hands for me, and tell her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole in it, as she will see in the end. I should not like your worship to have any difference with my lord and lady, for if you fall out with them it is plain it must do me harm, and as you give me advice to be grateful it will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to those who have shown you such kindness, and by whom you have been treated so hospitably in their castle. That about the scratching I don't understand, but I suppose it must be one of the ill-turns the wicked enchanters are always doing your worship. When we meet I shall know all about it. I wish I could send your worship something, but I don't know what to send, unless it be some very curious Kleisterpipes to work with bladders that they make in this island. But if the office remains with me I'll find out something to send one way or another. If my wife Teresa Ponsa writes to me, pay the postage and send me the letter, for I have a very great desire to hear how my house and wife and children are going on. And so may God deliver your worship from evil-minded enchanters, and bring me well and peacefully out of this government, which I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life together from the way Dr. Pedro Oresio treats me. Your worship's servant, Sancho Ponsa, the governor. The secretary sealed the letter and immediately dismissed the courier, and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho, putting their heads together, arranged how he was to be dismissed from the government. Sancho spent the afternoon in drying up certain ordinances related to the good government of what he fancied the island, and he ordained that there were to be no provision-hucksters in the state, and that men might import wine into it from any place they pleased, provided they declared the quarter it came from, so that a price might be put upon it according to its quality, reputation, and the estimation it was held in. And he that watered his wine or changed the name was to forfeit his life for it. He reduced the prices of all manner of shoes, boots, and stockings, but of shoes in particular, as they seemed to him to run extravagantly high. He established a fixed rate for servants' wages, which were becoming recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon those who sang lewd or loose songs, either by day or night. He decreed that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse unless he could produce authentic evidence that it was true, for it was his opinion that most of those the blind men sing are trumped up to the detriment of the true ones. He established and created an algocile of the poor, not to harass them, but to examine them and see whether they really were so. For many a sturdy thief or drunkard goes about under cover of a make-believe crippled limb or a sham sore. In a word he made so many good rules that to this day they are preserved there, and are called the constitutions of the great governor Sancho Pansa. End of Chapter 51. Recording by Tricia G. CHAPTER 52 and 53 of Don Quixote, Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Recorded by Carol Strupling. Don Quixote, Volume 2 by Miguel de Cervantes de Cavedra. Translated by John Ormsby. CHAPTER 52 and 53. CHAPTER 52 Wherein is related the adventure of the second distressed or afflicted duena, otherwise called Donia Rodriguez. Sineamete relates that Don Quixote, being now cured of his scratches, felt that the life he was leading in the castle was entirely inconsistent with the order of chivalry he professed. So he determined to ask the Duke and Duchess to permit him to take his departure for Saragossa, as the time of the festival was now dry near, and he hoped to win there the suit of armor which is the prize at festivals of the sort. But one day at table with the Duke and Duchess, just as he was about to carry his resolution into effect and ask for their permission, lo and behold, suddenly there came in through the door of the great hall two women, as they afterwards proved to be, draped in mourning from head to foot, one of whom approaching Don Quixote flung herself at full length at his feet, pressing her lips to them, and uttering moans so sad, so deep, and so doleful, that she put all who heard and saw her into a state of perplexity. And though the Duke and Duchess supposed it must be some joke, their servants were playing off upon Don Quixote, still the earnest way the woman sighed and moaned and wept puzzled them, and made them feel uncertain, until Don Quixote, touched with compassion, raised her up, and made her unveil herself, and remove the mantle from her tearful face. She complied and disclosed what no one could have ever anticipated, for she disclosed the countenance of Donia Rodriguez, the duena of the house, the other female in mourning being her daughter, who had been made a fool of by the rich farmer's son. All who knew her were filled with astonishment, and the Duke and Duchess more than any, for though they thought her a simpleton and a weak creature, they did not think her capable of crazy pranks. Donia Rodriguez, at length, turning to her master and mistress, said to them, Will your excellencies be pleased to permit me to speak to this gentleman for a moment, for it is requisite I should do so in order to get successfully out of the business in which the boldness of an evil-minded clown has involved me. The Duke said that for his part he gave her leave, and that she might speak with Senor Don Quixote as much as she liked. She, then, turning to Don Quixote and addressing herself to him, said, Some day since, valiant knight, I gave you an account of the injustice and treachery of a wicked farmer to my dearly beloved daughter, the unhappy damsel here before you, and you promised me to take her part and right the wrong that has been done her. But now it is come to my hearing that you are about to depart from this castle in quest of such fair adventures as God may vouch safe to you. Therefore, before you take the road, I would that you challenge this froward rustic and compel him to marry my daughter in fulfilment of the promise he gave her to become her husband before he seduced her. For to expect that my lord the Duke will do me justice is to ask pairs from the elm-tree, for the reason I stated privately to your worship, and so may our lord grant you good health and forsake us not. To these words Don Quixote replied very gravely and solemnly, Worthy Dwen, check your tears, or a rather dry them, and spare your sighs, for I take it upon myself to obtain redress for your daughter, for whom it would have been better not to have been so ready to believe lovers' promises, which are for the most part quickly made and very slowly performed. And so with my lord the Duke's leave, I will at once go in quest of this inhuman youth, and will find him out and challenge him and slay him, if so be he refuses to keep his promised word. For the chief object of my profession is to spare the humble and chastise the proud, I mean, to help the distressed and destroy the oppressors. There is no necessity, said the Duke, for your worship to take the trouble of seeking out the rustic of whom this Worthy Dwenna complains, nor is there any necessity, either, for asking my leave to challenge him. For I admit him duly challenged, and will take care that he is informed of the challenge, and accepts it, and comes to answer it in person to this castle of mine, where I shall afford to both a fair field, observing all the conditions which are usually and properly observed in such trials, and observing too justice to both sides, as all princes who offer a free field to combatants within the limits of their lordships are bound to do. Then with that assurance, and your highness's good leave, said Don Quixote, I hereby for this once wave my privilege of gentle blood, and come down and put myself on a level with the lowly birth of the wrongdoer, making myself equal with him, and enabling him to enter into combat with me. And so I challenge and defy him, though absent, on the plea of his malfeasance in breaking faith with this poor damsel, who was a maiden, and now by his misdeed is none, and say that he shall fulfill the promise he gave her to become her lawful husband, or else stake his life upon the question. And then, plucking off a glove, he threw it down in the middle of the hall, and the duke picked it up, saying, as he had said before, that he accepted the challenge in the name of his vassal, and fixed six days' fence as the time, the courtyard of the castle as the place, and for arms the customary ones of knights, lance, and shield, and full armor, with all the other accessories, without trickery, guile, or charms of any sort, and examined and passed by the judges of the field. But first of all, he said, it is requisite that this worthy duena and unworthy damsel should place their claim for justice in the hands of Don Quixote, for otherwise nothing can be done, nor can the said challenge be brought to a lawful issue. I do so place it, replied the duena. And I, too, added her daughter, all in tears, and covered with shame and confusion. This declaration, having been made, and the duke having settled in his own mind what he would do in the matter, the ladies in black withdrew, and the duchess gave orders that for the future they were not to be treated as servants of hers, but as lady adventurers who came to her house to demand justice. So they gave them a room to themselves and waited on them as they would on strangers, to the consternation of the other women's servants, who did not know where the folly in imprudence of Don Quixote and her unlucky daughter would stop. And now, to complete the enjoyment of the feast, and bring the dinner to a satisfactory end, lo and behold the page who had carried the letters and presents to Teresa Pansa, the wife of the Governor Sancho, entered the hall. And the duke and duchess were very well pleased to see him, being anxious to know the result of his journey. But when they asked him, the page said in reply that he could not give it before so many people, or in a few words, and begged their excellencies to be pleased to let it wait for a private opportunity. And, in the meantime, amuse themselves with these letters. And taking out the letters he placed them in the duchess's hand. One bore by way of address letter for my lady the duchess so and so of I don't know where. And the other to my husband Sancho Pansa, Governor of the Island of Barataria, whom God prospered longer than me. The duchess's bread would not bake, as the saying is, until she had read her letter, and having looked over it herself and seen that it might be read aloud for the duke and all present to hear, she read out as follows. Teresa Pansa's letter to the duchess. The letter your Highness wrote me, my lady, gave me great pleasure, for indeed I found it very welcome. The string of coral beads is very fine, and my husband's hunting suit does not fall short of it. All this village is very much pleased that your ladyship has made a governor of my good man, Sancho, though nobody will believe it, particularly the curate and master Nicholas the barber in the bachelor samps in Carasco, but I don't care for that. For so long as it is true as it is, they may all say what they like, though to tell the truth, if the coral beads and the suit had not come, I would not have believed it either. For in this village everybody thinks my husband a numbskull, and except for governing a flock of goats, they cannot fancy what sort of government he can be fit for. God grant it and direct him according as he sees his children stand in need of it. I am resolved with your worship's leave, lady of my soul, to make the most of this fair day, and go to court to stretch myself at ease in a coach, and make all those I have in being me already burst their eyes out, so I beg your excellence to order my husband to send me a small trifle of money, and to let it be something to speak of, because one's expenses are heavy at the court, for a loaf casarreal and meat thirty maravellis a pound, which is beyond everything. And if he does not want me to go, let him tell me in time, for my feet are on the fidgets to be off, and my friends and neighbors tell me that if my daughter and I make a figure and a brave show at court, my husband will come to be known far more by me than I by him. For, of course, plenty of people will ask, who are those ladies in that coach? And some servant of mine will answer, the wife and daughter of Sancho Panza, governor of the island of Barataria. And in this way Sancho will become known, and I'll be thought well of, and to roam for everything. I am as vexed, as vexed, can be, that they have gathered no acorns this year in our village, for all that I send your highness about half a peck, that I went to the wood to gather and pick out one by one myself, and I could find no bigger ones. I wish they were as big as ostrich eggs. Let not your high mightiness forget to write to me, and I will take care to answer and let you know how I am, and whatever news there may be in this place where I remain, praying our lord to have your highness in his keeping and not to forget me. Sancho my daughter and my son kiss your worship's hands, she who would rather see your ladyship than write to you, your servant, Teresa Panza. All were greatly amused by Teresa Panza's letter, but particularly the Duke and Duchess, and the Duchess asked Don Quixote's opinion whether they might open the letter that had come for the governor, which she suspected must be very good. Don Quixote said that to gratify them he would open it and did so, and found that it ran as follows. Teresa Panza's letter to her husband, Sancho Panza. I got thy letter, Sancho of my soul, and I promised thee and swear as a Catholic Christian that I was within two fingers' breadth of going mad I was so happy. I can tell thee, brother, when I came to hear that thou were to governor I thought I should have dropped dead with pure joy, and thou knowest they say sudden joy kills as well as great sorrow, and as for Sancho thy daughter she leaked from sheer happiness. I had before me the suit thou did send me, and the coral beads my lady the Duchess sent me round my neck and the letters in my hands, and there was the bearer of them standing by, and in spite of all this I verily believed and thought that what I saw and handled was all a dream, or who could have thought that a go-turd would come to be a governor of islands? Thou knowest, my friend, what my mother used to say, that one must live long to see much. I say it because I expect to see more if I live longer, for I don't expect to stop until I see thee a farmer of taxes or a collector of revenue, which are offices where, though the devil carries off those who make a bad use of them, still they make and handle money. My lady the Duchess will tell thee the desire I have to go to the court. Consider the matter and let me know thy pleasure. I will try to do honour to thee by going in a coach. Neither the curate, nor the barber, nor the bachelor, nor even the San Cristin can believe that thou art a governor, and they say the whole thing is a delusion or an enchantment affair like everything belonging to thy master, Dom Quixote, and Sampson says he must go in search of thee and drive the government out of thy head and the madness out of Dom Quixote's skull. I only laugh and look at my string of beads and plan out the dress I am going to make for our daughter out of thy suit. I sent some acorns to my lady the Duchess. I wish they had been gold. Send me some strings of pearls if they are in fashion in that island. Here is the news of the village. La Belueca has married her daughter to a good-for-nothing painter who came here to paint anything that might turn up. The council gave him an order to paint his majesty's arms over the door of the town hall. He asked two ducats, which they paid him in advance. He worked for eight days, and at the end of them had nothing painted, and then said he had no turn for painting such trifling things. He returned the money, and for all that has married on the pretense of being a good workman. To be sure, he has now laid aside his paintbrush and taken a spade in hand, and goes to the field like a gentleman. Pedro Lobo's son has received the first orders and tonsure with the intention of becoming a priest. Minghia, Mingo Silvato's granddaughter, found it out and has gone to law with him on the score of having given her promise of marriage. Evil tongues say she is with child by him, but he denies it stoutly. There are no olives this year, and there is not a drop of vinegar to be had in the whole village. A company of soldiers passed through here, when they left they took away with them three of the girls of the village. I will not tell thee who they are. Perhaps they will come back, and they will be sure to find those who will take them for wives with all their blemishes good or bad. Sanchica is making ponelace. She earns eight marvedes a day clear, which she puts into a money box as a help towards house furnishing. But now that she is a governor's daughter, thou wilt give her a portion without her working for it. The fountain and the plaza has run dry. A flash of lightning struck the and I wish they all lit there. I look for an answer to this, and to know thy mind about my going to the court, and so God keep thee longer than me more as long, for I would not leave thee in this world without me, thy wife, that is a panza. The letters were applauded, laughed over, relished, and admired, and then as if to put the seal to the business, the courier arrived, bringing the one Sancio sent to Don Quixote, and this, too, was read out, and it raised some doubts as to the governor's simplicity. The Duchess withdrew to hear from the page about his adventures in Sancio's village, which he narrated at full length without leaving a single circumstance unmentioned. He gave her the acorns, and also a cheese which Theressa had given him as being particularly good and superior to those of Thronchen. The Duchess received it with greatest delight, in which we will leave her to describe the end of the government of the great Sancio panza, flower and mirror of all governors of islands. End of Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Of the Troublous End and Termination Sancio Panza's Government Came to To fancy that in this life anything belonging to it will remain forever in the same state is an idle fancy. On the contrary, in it everything seems to go in a circle, I mean round and round. The spring succeeds the summer, the summer the fall, the fall the autumn, the winter, and the winter the spring, and so time rolls with never-ceasing wheel. Man's life alone, swifter than time, speeds onward to its end without any hope of renewal, save it be in that other life which is endless and boundless. Thus, Seyeth Sidiamite, the Malmetan Philosopher, for there are many that by the light of nature alone without the light of faith, have a comprehension of the fleeting nature and instability of this present life, and the endless duration of that eternal life we hope for. But our author is here speaking of the rapidity with which Sancio's Government Came to an End, melted away, disappeared, vanished as it were, in smoke and shadow. For as he lay in bed on the night of the seventh day of his Government, sated, not with bread and wine, but with delivering judgments and giving opinions and making laws and proclamations, just as sleep, in spite of hunger, was beginning to close his eyelids, he heard such a noise of bell-ringing and shouting, that one would have fancied the whole island was going to the bottom. He sat up in bed and remained listening intently to try if he could make out what could be the cause of so great an uproar. Not only, however, was he unable to discover what it was, but his countless drums and trumpets now helped to swell the din of the bells and shouts, he was more puzzled than ever, and filled with fear and terror. And getting up he put on a pair of slippers because of the dampness of the floor, and without throwing a dressing-gown or anything of the kind over him, he rushed out of the door of his room, just in time to see approaching along a corridor, a band of more than twenty persons with lighted torches and naked swords in their hands, all shouting out, to arms, to arms, senor governor, to arms, the enemy is in the island in countless numbers and we are lost unless your skill and valor come to our support. Keeping up this noise, tumult and uproar, they came to where Sancho stood, dazed, and bewildered by what he saw and heard, and as they approached one of them called out to him, Arm it once your lordship, if you would not have yourself destroyed and the whole island lost. What have I to do with arming? said Sancho. What do I know about arms or supports? Better leave all that to my master Don Quixote, who will settle it and make all safe in Atrice, for I, sinner that I am, God help me, don't understand these scuffles. Ah, senor governor, said another, what slackness of metal this is. Arm yourself, here are arms for you offensive and defensive. Come out to the plaza and be our leader in Capitan. It falls upon you by right, for you are our governor. Arm me, then, in God's name, said Sancho, and they at once produced two large shields they had come provided with, and placed them upon him over his shirt, without letting him put on anything else, one shield in front and the other behind, and passing his arms through openings they had made, they bound him tight with ropes, so that there he was walled and boarded up as straight as a spindle and unable to bend his knees or stir a single step. In his hand they placed a lance, on which he lent to keep himself from falling, and as soon as they had him thus fixed they bade him march forward and lead them on and give them all courage, for with him for their guide and lamp and morning star they were sure to bring their business to a successful issue. How am I to march, unlucky being that I am, said Sancho, when I can't stir my kneecaps, for these boards I have bound so tight to my body won't let me. What you must do is carry me in your arms and lay me across or set me upright in some poston, and I'll hold it either with this lance or with my body. Un, senor, governor, cried another, it is fear more than the boards that keeps you from moving. Make haste, stir yourself, for there is no time to lose. The enemy is increasing in numbers, the shouts grow louder, and the danger is pressing. Urged by these exhortations and reproaches, the poor governor made an attempt to advance, but fell to the ground with such a crash that he fancied he had broken himself all to pieces. There he lay, like a tortoise, enclosed in its shell, or a side of bacon between two kneading troughs, or a boat bottom up on the beach. Nor did the gang of jokers fill any compassion for him when they saw him down. So far from that, extinguishing their torches, they began to shout afresh and to renew the calls to arms with such energy, trampling on poor Sancho, and slashing at him over the shield with their swords in such a way that, if he had not gathered himself together and made himself small and drawn in his head between the shields, it would have fared badly with the poor governor, as squeezed into that narrow compass he lay sweating and sweating again, and commending himself with all his heart to God to deliver him from his present peril. Some stumbled over him, others fell upon him, and one there was who took up a position on top of him for some time, and from thence, as if from a watchtower issued orders to the troops, shouting out, here, our side, here the enemy is thickest, hold the breach there, shut that gate, barricade those ladders, here with your stink pots of pitch and resin and kettles of boiling oil, block the streets with feather beds. In short, in his ardour, he mentioned every little thing and every implement and engine of war by means of which an assault upon a city is warded off, while the bruised and battered Sancho, who heard and suffered all, was saying to himself, oh, if it would only please the Lord to let the island be lost at once, and I could see myself either dead or out of this torture. Heaven heard his prayer, and when he least expected it, he heard voices exclaiming, victory, victory, the enemy retreats beaten, come, Signor Governor, get up and come and enjoy the victory, and divide the spoils that have been won from the foe by the might of that invincible arm. Lift me up, said the wretched Sancho in a woe-begone voice. They helped him to rise, and as soon as he was on his feet said, the enemy I have beaten, you may nail to my forehead. I don't want to divide the spoils of the foe, I only beg and entreat some friend, if I have one, to give me a sip of wine, for I'm parched with thirst, and wipe me dry, for I'm turning to water. They rubbed him down, fetched him wine, and unbound the shields, and he seated himself upon his bed, and with fear, agitation, and fatigue he fainted away. Those who had been concerned in the joke were now sorry they had pushed it so far. However, the anxiety his fainting away had caused them was relieved by his returning to himself. He asked what o'clock it was. They told him it was just daybreak. He said no more, and in silence began to dress himself while all watched him, waiting to see what the haste with which he was putting on his clothes meant. He got himself dressed at last, and then, slowly, for he was sorely bruised and could not go fast, he proceeded to the stable, followed by all who were present, and going up to Dappel embraced him, and gave him a loving kiss on the forehead, and said to him, not without tears in his eyes, Come along, comrade, and friend, and partner of my toils and sorrows. When I was with you and had no cares to trouble me except mending your harness and feeding your little carcass, happy were my hours, my days, and my years. But since I left you and mounted the towers of ambition and pride, a thousand miseries, a thousand troubles, and four thousand anxieties have entered into my soul, and all the while he was speaking in this strain, he was fixing the pack-saddle on the ass, without a word from any one. Then, having Dappel saddled, he, with great pain and difficulty, got up on him, and addressing himself to the Mardomo, the Secretary, the Head Carver, and Pedro Recio, the Doctor, and several others who stood by, he said, Make way, gentlemen, and let me go back to my old freedom. Let me go look for my past life and raise myself up from this present death. I was not born to be a governor or protect islands or cities from the enemies that choose to attack them. Plowing and digging, fine-dressing, and pruning are more in my way than defending provinces or kingdoms. St. Peter is very well at Rome. I mean each of us is best following the trade he was born to. A reaping hook fits my hand better than a governor's scepter. I'd rather have my fill of gazpacho than be subject to the misery of a meddling doctor whom I with hunger, and I'd rather lie in a summer under the shade of an oak, and in winter wrap myself in a double sheepskin jacket in freedom, than go to bed between holland sheets and dress and sables under the restraint of a government. God be with your worships and tell my lord the duke that naked I was born, naked I find myself. I neither lose nor gain. I mean that without a farthing I came into this government, and without a farthing I go out of it, very different from the way governors commonly leave other islands. Stand aside and let me go. I have to plaster myself, for I believe every one of my ribs is crushed, thanks to the enemies that have been trampling over me tonight. That is unnecessary, senor governor, said Dr. Esio, for I will give your worship a draft against falls and bruises that will soon make you as sound and strong as ever, and as for your diet I promise your worship to behave better and let you eat plentifully of whatever you like. You spoke late, said Sancho. I'd as soon turn turk as stay any longer. Those jokes won't pass a second time. By God I'd as soon remain in this government or take another, even if it was offered me between two plates as fly to heaven without wings. I am of the breed of the bunzus, and they are every one of them obstinate, and if they once say odds, odds it must be, no matter if it is evens, in spite of all the world. Here in this stable I leave the ants' wings that lifted me up into the air for the Swiss and other birds to eat me, and let's take to level ground and our feet once more, and if they're not shod in pink shoes of Cor-the-van, they won't want for rough sandals of hemp, every you to her like, and let no one stretch his leg beyond the length of the sheet. And now let me pass, for it's growing late with me. To this, the Mahardomo said, Sancho Governor, we would let your worship go with all our hearts, though it sorely grieves us to lose you for your wit and Christian conduct naturally make us regret you, but it is well known that every Governor, before he leaves the place where he has been governing, is bound first of all to render an account. Let your worship do so for the ten days you have held the government, and then you may go and the peace of God go with you. No one can demand it of me, said Sancho, but he whom my lord the Duke shall appoint, I am going to meet him, and to him I will render an exact one, besides when I go forth naked as I do, there is no other proof needed to show that I have governed like an angel. My God! the great Sancho is right, said Dr. Esio, and we should let him go, for the Duke will be beyond measure glad to see him. They all agreed to this and allowed him to go, first offering to bear him company and furnish him with all he wanted for his own comfort or for the journey. Sancho said he did not want anything more than a little barley for dapple, and half a cheese and half a loaf for himself. For the distance being so short there was no occasion for any better or bulkier Provence. They all embraced him, and he with tears embraced all of them, and left them filled with admiration not only at his remarks, but at his firm and sensible resolution. Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra translated by John Ormsby, chapter number fifty-four, which deals with matters relating to this history and no other. The Duke and the Duchess resolved that the challenge Don Quixote had, for the reason already mentioned, given their vassal, should be preceded with, and as the young man was in Flanders, whether he had fled to escape having Donna Rodriguez for a mother-in-law, they arranged to substitute for him a Gascon Lacquie, named Tosilos. First of all, carefully instructing him in all that he had to do. Two days later the Duke told Don Quixote that in four days from that time his opponent would present himself on the field of battle, armed as a knight, and would maintain that the damsel lied by a half-beard, nay a whole-beard, if she affirmed that he had given her a promise of marriage. Don Quixote was greatly pleased at the news and promised himself to do wonders in the lists, and reckoned it a rare good fortune that an opportunity should have offered for letting his noble hosts see what the might of his strong arm was capable of, and so in high spirits and satisfaction he awaited the expiration of four days which measured by his impatience seemed spinning themselves out into four hundred ages. Let us leave them to pass as we do other things, and go and bear Sancho, company, as mounted on dapple, half glad, half sad, he paced along on his road to join his master, in whose society he was happier than being governor of all the islands in the world. Well then, it so happened that before he had gone a great way from the island of his government, and whether it was island, city, town, or village that he governed, he never troubled himself to inquire. He saw, coming along the road, he was travelling six pilgrims with staves, foreigners of that sort, that beg for alms singing, who as they drew near arranged themselves in a line, and lifting up their voices altogether began to sing in their own language something that Sancho could not with the exception of one word which sounded plainly alms, from which he had gathered that it was alms they asked for in their song, and being, as Said Hamet says, remarkably charitable, he took out of his aliforias the half loaf and half cheese he had been provided with, and gave them to them, explaining to them by signs that he had nothing else to give them. They received them very gladly, but exclaimed, Gel'd, Gel'd! I don't understand what you want of me, good people, said Sancho. On this one of them took a purse out of his bosom and showed it to Sancho, by which he comprehended they were asking for money, and putting his thumb to his throat and spreading his hand upward, he gave them to understand that he had not the sign of a coin about him, and urging Dappel forward he broke through them. But as he was passing, one of them who had been examining him very closely rushed toward him, and flinging his arms around him exclaimed in a loud voice and in good Spanish, God bless me! What's this I see? Is it possible that I hold in my arms my dear friend, my good neighbor, Sancho Panza? But there's no doubt about it, for I'm not asleep, nor am I drunk just now. Sancho was surprised to hear himself called by his name and find himself embraced by a foreign pilgrim, and after regarding him steadily, without speaking, he was still unable to recognize him. But the pilgrim, perceiving his perplexity, cried, What, and is it possible, Sancho Panza, that thou dost not know thy neighbor Ricote? And the Morisco shopkeeper of thy village? Sancho, upon looking at him more carefully, began to recall his features, and at last recognized him perfectly, and without getting off the ass through his arms round his neck, saying, Who the devil could have known thee, Ricote, in this murmur's dress thou art in? Tell me, who has Frenchified thee? How dost thou dare return to Spain, where if they catch thee and recognize thee, it will go hard enough with thee? If thou dost not betray me, Sancho, said the pilgrim, I am safe. For in this dress no one will recognize me, but let us turn aside, out of the road, into that grove, there, where my comrades are going to eat and rest, and thou shalt eat with them there, for they are very good fellows. I'll have time enough to tell thee, then, all that has happened to me since I left our village in obedience to his majesty's edict, that threatened such severities against the unfortunate people of my nation, as thou hast heard. Sancho complied, and Ricote, having spoken to the other pilgrims, they withdrew to the grove, they saw, turning a considerable distance out of the road. They threw down their staves, took off their pilgrims' cloaks, and remained in their under-clothing. They were all good-looking young fellows except Ricote, who was a man somewhat advanced in years. They carried alforhas, all of them, and all apparently well-filled, at least with things provocative of the thirst such as would summon it from two leagues off. They stretched themselves on the ground in making a tablecloth of the grass. They spread upon it bread, salt, knives, walnut, scraps of cheese, and well-picked hand-bones, which, if they were past gnawing, were not past sucking. They also put down a black dainty called, they say, caviar, and made of the eggs of fish a great thirst-wakener. Nor was there any lack of olives, dry it is true, and without any seasoning, but for all that to summon pleasant. But what made the best show in the field of the banquet was a half a dozen bodice of wine, for each of them produced his own from his alforhas, even the good Ricote, who from Marisco had transformed himself into a German or Dutchman, took out his, which in size might abide with the five others. They then began to eat with very great relish, and very leisurely, making the most of each morsel, very small ones of everything, they took up on the point of the knife. And then, all at the same moment, raised their arms and bodice aloft, the mouths placed in their mouths, and all eyes fixed on heaven just as if they were taking aim at it, and in this attitude they remained ever so long, wagging their heads from side to side, as if in acknowledgement of their pleasure they were enjoying while they decanted the bowels of the bottles into their own stomachs. Sancho beheld all, and nothing gave him pain, so far from that, acting on the proverb he knew so well. When thou art at Rome, do as thou seeest, he asked Ricote for his bota, and took aim like the rest of them, and not with less enjoyment. Four times did the bodice bear being uplifted, but the fifth it was all in vain, for they were drier and more sapless than a rush by that time, which made the jollity that had been kept up so far begin to flag. Every now and then, some of them would grasp Sancho's right hand in his own saying, Sancho would answer, and then go off into a fit of laughter that lasted an hour, without a thought for the moment of anything that had befallen him in his government. Four cares have very little sway over us while we are eating and drinking. At length the wine, having come to an end with them, drowsiness began to come over them, and they dropped asleep on their very table and tablecloth. Ricote and Sancho alone remained awake, for they had eaten more and drunk less, and Ricote, drawing Sancho aside, they seated themselves at the foot of a beach, leaving the pilgrims buried in sweet sleep, and, without once falling into his own Marisco tongue, Ricote spoke as follows in pure Castilian. Thou knowest well, neighbor and friend Sancho Panza, how the proclamation or edict his Majesty commanded to be issued against those of my nation filled us all with terror and dismay. Me at least it did, in so much that I think before the time granted us for quitting Spain was out, the full force of the penalty had already fallen upon me and upon my children. I decided then, and I think wisely, just like one who knows that at a certain date the house he lives in will be taken from him, and looks out beforehand for another to change into, I decided, I say, to leave the town myself alone and without my family, and go to seek out some place to remove them too comfortably, and not in the hurried way in which the others took their departure. For I saw very plainly, and so did all the older men among us that the proclamations were not mere threats, as some said, but positive enactments which would be enforced at the appointed time. And what made me believe this was what I knew of the base and extravagant designs which our people harbored, designs of such a nature that I think it was a divine inspiration that moved his majesty to carry out a resolution so spirited. Not that we were all guilty, for some there were true and steadfast Christians, but they were so few that they could make no head against those who were not, and it was not prudent to cherish a viper in the bosom by having enemies in the house. In short it was with just cause that we were visited with the penalty of banishment, a mild and lenient one in the eyes of some, but to us the most terrible that could be inflicted upon us. Wherever we are we weep for Spain, for after all we were born there and it is our natural fatherland. Nowhere do we find the reception our unhappy condition needs, and in Barbary, and all parts of Africa, where we counted upon being received, secured and welcomed, it was there they insult and ill-treat us most. We knew not our good fortune until we lost it, and such is the longing we almost all of us have to return to Spain, that most of those who, like myself, know the language and there are many who do, come back to it and leave their wives and children forsaken yonder, so great is their love for it, and now I know by experience the meaning of the saying, sweet is the love of one's country. I left our village, as I said, in winter France, but though they gave us a kind reception there, I was anxious to see all that I could. I crossed into Italy, and reached Germany, and there it seemed to me we might live with more freedom, as the inhabitants do not pay attention to trifling points. Everyone lives as he likes, for in the most parts they enjoy liberty of conscience. I took a house in a town near Augsburg, and then joined these pilgrims, who are in the habit of coming to Spain in great numbers every year to visit the shrines there, which they look upon as their indies, and a sure and certain source of gain. They travel nearly all over it, and there is no town out of which they do not go full up of meat and drink, as the saying is, and with a real, at least in money, and they come off at the end of their travels with more than a hundred crowns saved, which, changed into gold, they smuggle out of the kingdom either in the hollow of their staves, or in the patches of their pilgrims' cloaks, or by some device of their own, and carry to their own country in spite of the guards of the posts and passes where they are searched. Now my purpose is, Sancho, to carry away the treasure that I left buried, which, as it is outside of the town, I shall be able to do without risk, and to write, or cross over from Valencia, to my daughter and wife, who I know are at Algiers, and find some means of bringing them to some French port and thence to Germany, there to await what it may be God's will to do with us. For, after all, Sancho, I know well that Ricotta, my daughter, and Francisco Ricotta, my wife, are Catholic Christians, and though I am not so much so, still I am more of a Christian than a Moor, and it is always my prayer to God that he will open the eyes of my understanding and show me how I am to serve him. But what amazes me, and I cannot understand, is why my wife and daughter should have gone to Barbary rather than to France, where they could live as Christians. To this, Sancho replied, Remember Ricotta, that may not have been open to them, for Juan Teopiello, thy wife's brother, took them, and, being a true Moor, he went where he could go most easily, and another thing I can tell thee, it is my belief thou art going in vain to look for what thou hast left buried, for we heard they took from thy brother-in-law, and thy wife a great quantity of pearls, and money and gold, which they brought to be passed. That may be, said Ricotta, but I know they did not touch my hoard, for I did not tell them where it was, for fear of accidents, and so, if thou wilt come to me, Sancho, and help me to take it away, and conceal it, I will give thee two hundred crowns, wherewith thou mayest relieve thy necessities, and, as thou knowest, I know they are many. I would do it, said Sancho, but I am not at all covetous, for I gave up an office this morning in which, if I was, I might have made the walls of my house of gold and dined off silver plates before six months were over, and so, for this reason, and because I feel I would be guilty of treason to my king if I helped his enemies, I would not go with thee if, instead of promising me two hundred crowns, thou wert to give me four hundred here in hand. And what office is this thou hast given up, Sancho, asked Ricotta? I have given up, being governor of an island, said Sancho, and such a one faith, as you won't find the like of easily. And where is this island, said Ricotta? Where, said Sancho, two leagues from here, and it is called the island of Barataria. Nonsense, Sancho, said Ricotta, islands are a way out in the sea. There are no islands on the mainland. What? No islands, said Sancho. I tell thee, friend Ricotta, I left it this morning, and yesterday I was governing there, as I pleased, like a Sagittarius. But for all that I gave it up, for it seemed to me a dangerous office, a governor's. And what hast thou gained by thy government, asked Ricotta? I have gained, said Sancho, the knowledge that I am no good for governing, unless it is a drove of cattle, and that the riches that are to be got by these governments are at the cost of one's rest and sleep. I, and even one's food, for in islands the governments must eat little, especially if they have doctors to look after their health. I don't understand thee, Sancho, said Ricotta, but it seems to me all nonsense thou art talking. Who would give the islands to govern? Is there any scarcity in the world of cleverer men that thou art for governors? Hold thy peace, Sancho, and come back to thy senses, and consider whether thou wilt come with me, as I said, to help me take away treasure, I left buried. For indeed it may be called a treasure, it is so large. And I will give thee wherewithal to keep thee, as I told thee. And I have told thee already, Ricotta, that I will not, said Sancho. Let it content thee, that by me thou shalt not be betrayed, and go thy way in God's name, and let me go mine, for I know that well-gotten gain may be lost, but ill-gotten gain is lost, and its owner likewise. I will not press thee, Sancho, said Ricotta, but tell me, were't thou in our village when my wife and daughter and brother-in-law left it? I was so, said Sancho, and I can tell thee that thy daughter left it looking so lovely that all the village turned out to see her, and everybody said she was the fairest creature in the world. She wept as she went and embraced all her friends and acquaintances, and those who came out to see her, and she begged them all to commend her to God and our lady his mother. And this in such a touching way that it made me weep myself, though I am not much given to tears commonly, and faith many a one would have liked to hide her, or go out and carry her off on the road, but the fear of going against the king's command kept them back. The one who showed himself most moved was Don Pedro Gregorio, the rich young heir thou knowest of, and they say he was deep in love with her, and since she left he has not been seen in our village again, and we all suspect he has gone after to steal her away, but so far nothing has been heard of it. I always had a suspicion that gentleman had a passion for my daughter, said Ricotta, but as I felt sure of my Ricotta's virtue it gave me no uneasiness to know that he loved her, for thou must have heard it, said Sancho, that the Marisco women seldom and never engage in amours with the old Christians, and my daughter, who I fancy thought more of being a Christian than love-making, would not trouble herself about the attentions of this heir. God grant it, said Sancho, for it would be a bad business for both of them. But now let me be off, friend Ricotta, for I want to reach where my master Don Quixote is tonight. God be with thee, brother Sancho, said Ricotta, my comrades are beginning to stir, and it is time, too, for us to continue our journey, and then they both embraced, and Sancho mounted Dappel and Ricotta left upon his staff, and so they parted. Half a league of it when night, somewhat dark and cloudy, overtook him. This, however, as it was summertime, did not give him much uneasiness, and he turned aside out of the road, intending to wait for morning. But his ill luck and hard faith so willed it that he was searching about for a place to make himself as comfortable as possible. He and Dappel fell into a deep dark hole that lay among some very old buildings. As he fell he commended himself with all his heart to God, fancying that he was not going to stop until he reached the depths of the bottomless pit. But it did not turn out so, for at little more than thrice a man's height, Dappel touched bottom, and he found himself sitting on him without having received any hurt or damage whatever. He found himself all over and held his breath to try, whether he was quite sound or had a hole made in him anywhere, and finding himself all right and whole and in perfect health, he was profuse in his thanks to God our Lord for the mercy that had been shown to him, for he made sure that he had been broken in a thousand pieces. He also felt along the sides of the pit with his hands to see if it were possible to get out of it without help, but he found they were quite smooth and afforded no hold anywhere at which he was greatly distressed, especially when he heard how pathetically and dolefully Dappel was bemoaning himself, and no wonder he complained, nor was it from ill temper, for in truth he was not in a very good case. Alas, said Sancho, what unexpected accidents happen at every step to those who live in this miserable world. Who would have said that one who saw himself yesterday, sitting in a throne, governor of an island, giving orders to his servants and his vassals, would see himself today buried in a pit without a soul to help him, or a servant or vassal to come to his relief. Here we must perish with hunger, my ass, and myself, if indeed we don't die first, he of his bruises and injuries, and I of grief and sorrow. At any rate, I'll not be as lucky as my Master Don Quixote of La Mancha when he went down into the cave of that enchanted Montesinos, where he found people to make more of him than if he had been in his own house. For it seems he came in for a table laid out, and a bed ready made. There he saw fair and pleasant visions. But here, I'll see, I imagine, toads and adders, unlucky wretch that I am, and what an end my follies and fancies have come to. They'll take up my bones out of this when it is Heaven's will that I am found, picked clean, white and polished, and my good dapples with them, and by that, perhaps, it will be found out who we are, at least by such as have heard that Sancho Ponza never separated from his ass nor his ass from Sancho Ponza. Unlucky wretches, I say again, that our hard fate should not let us die in our own country and among our own people, where if there was no help for our misfortune, at any rate there would be someone to grieve for it and to close our eyes as we passed away. O comrade and friend, how ill have I repaid thy faithful services, forgive me and entreat fortune, as well as thou canst, to deliver us out of this miserable strait we are both in, and I promised to put a crown of laurel on thy head, and make thee look like a poet laureate, and give thee double feeds. In this strain did Sancho be well himself, and his ass listened to him, but answered him never a word, such was the distress and anguish the poor beast found himself in. At length, after a night spent in bitter moanings and lamentations, day came, and by its light Sancho perceived that it was wholly impossible to escape out of that pit without help, and he fell into bemoaning his fate and uttering loud shouts to find out if there was anyone within hearing. But all his shouting was only crying in the wilderness, for there was not a soul anywhere in the neighborhood to hear him. And then, at last, he gave himself up for dead. Dappel was lying on his back, and Sancho helped him to his feet, which he was scarcely able to keep, and then taking a piece of bread out of his alforhas, which had shared their fortune as in fall, he gave it to the ass, whom it was not unwelcome, saying to him, as if he understood him, with bread all sorrows are less. And now he perceived on one side of the pit a hole large enough to admit a person if he stooped and squeezed himself into a small compass. Sancho made for it, and entered it by creeping, and found it wide and spacious on the inside, which he was able to see as a ray of sunlight that penetrated what might be called the roof showed it all plainly. He observed, too, that it opened and widened out into another spacious cavity, seeing which he made his way back to where his ass was, and with the stone began to pick away the clay from the hole, until, in a short time, he made room for the beast to pass easily. And this accomplished, taking him by the halter, he proceeded to traverse the cabin to see if there was any outlet at the other end. He advanced, sometimes in the dark, sometimes without light, but never without fear. God Almighty help me, he said to himself. This that is a misadventure to me would make a good adventure for my Master Don Quixote. He would have been sure to take these depths and dungeons for flowery gardens or the places of Galeana, and would have counted upon issuing out of this darkness and imprisonment into some blooming meadow. But I, unlucky that I am, hopeless and spiritless, except at every step another pit deeper than the first to open under my feet and swallow me up for good. Welcome evil if thou comest alone. In this way, and with these reflections, he seemed to himself to have traveled rather more than half a leak, when at last he perceived a dim light that looked like daylight, and found its way in on one side, showing that this road, which appeared to him the road to the other world, led to some opening. Here Sida Hamate leaves him and returns to Don Quixote, who in high spirits and satisfaction was looking forward to the day fixed for the battle he was to fight with him who had robbed Dona Rodriguez's daughter of her honor, for whom he hoped to obtain satisfaction for the wrong and injury shamefully done to her. It came to pass then that having sallied forth one morning to practice and exercise himself in what he would have to do in the encounter he expected to find himself engaged in the next day. As he was putting Rosinante through his paces or pressing him to the charge, he brought his feet so close to a pit that, but for reigning him in tightly, it would have been impossible for him to avoid falling into it. He pulled him up, however, without a fall, and coming a little closer examined the hole without dismounting. But as he was looking at it he heard loud cries proceeding from it, and by listening attentively was able to make out that he who uttered them was saying, Ho! above there! Is there any Christian that hears me, or any charitable gentleman that will take pity on a sinner buried alive on an unfortunate discovered governor? It struck Don Quixote that it was the voice of Sancho Ponza he heard, whereat he was taken aback and amazed, and raising his own voice as much as he could, he cried out, Who is below there? Who is that complaining? Who should be here, or who should complain? was the answer. But the forlorn Sancho Ponza, for his sins and for his ill luck, Governor of the Islands of Barataria, Squire, that was to the famous night Don Quixote of La Mancha. When Don Quixote heard this his amazement was redoubled, and his perturbation grew greater than ever, for it suggested itself to his mind that Sancho must be dead, and that his soul was in torment down there, and carried away by this idea he exclaimed, I conjure thee by everything that was a Catholic Christian, I can conjure thee by, tell me who thou art, and if thou art a soul in torment, tell me what thou wouldst have me do for thee. For, as my profession is to give aid and succor to those that need it in this world, it will also extend to aiding and succoring the distressed of the other, who cannot help themselves. In that case, answered the voice, your worship who speaks to me must be my master Don Quixote of La Mancha, nay, from the tone of the voice it is plain it can be nobody else. Don Quixote I am, replied Don Quixote, he whose profession is to aid and succor the living and the dead in their necessities. Wherefore tell me who thou art, for thou art keeping me in suspense, because if thou art my squire Sancho Ponza, and art dead, since the devils have not carried thee off, and thou art by God's mercy in purgatory, our holy mother the Roman Catholic Church has intercessory means sufficient to release thee from the pains thou art in, and I, for my part, will plead with her to that end, so far as my substance will go, without further delay, therefore, declare thyself and tell me who thou art. By all that's good, was the answer, and by the birth of whomesoever your worship chooses, I swear, Signor Don Quixote of La Mancha, that I am your squire Sancho Ponza, and that I have never died in all my life, but that, having given up my government, for reasons that would require more time to explain, I fell last night into this pit where I am now, and Dapola's witness and won't let me lie, for more by token he is here with me. Nor was this all, one would have fancied the ass understood what Sancho said, because that moment he began to bray so loudly that the whole cave rang again. Famous testimony, exclaimed Don Quixote, I know that bray, as well as if I was its mother, and thy voice too, my Sancho, wait while I go to the Duke's castle, which is close by, and I will bring someone to take thee out of this pit into which thy sins, no doubt, have brought thee. Go, your worship, said Sancho, and come back quick for God's sake, for I cannot bear being buried alive any longer, and I am dying of fear. Don Quixote left him, and hastened to the castle to tell the Duke and Duchess what had happened Sancho, and they were not a little astonished at it, they could easily understand his having fallen from the confirmatory circumstance of the cave, which had been in existence there from time immemorial, but they could not imagine how he had quitted the government without there receiving any intimation of his coming. To be brief, they fetched ropes and tackle, as the saying is, and by dint of many hands and much labour, they drew up dapple and Sancho Ponza out of the darkness into the light of day. A student, who saw him remarked, That's the way all bad governors should come out of their governments, as this sinner comes out of the depths of the pit, dead with hunger, pale, and I suppose without a farthing. Sancho overheard him and said, It is eight or ten days, Brother Growler, since I entered upon the government of the island they gave me, and all that time I never had a belly full of victuals. No, not for an hour. Doctors persecuted me, and my enemies crushed my bones, nor had I any opportunity of taking bribes or levying taxes, and if that be the case, as it is, I don't deserve, I think, to come out in this fashion. But man proposes and God disposes, and God knows what is best, and what suits each one best, and as the occasion, so that behavior, and let nobody say I won't drink of this water, and where one thinks there are flitches, there are no pegs. God knows my meaning, and that's enough. I say no more, though I could. Be not angry or annoyed at what thou hearest, Sancho, said Don Quixote, or there will never be an end of it. Keep safe conscience, and let them say what they like, for trying to stop slanderer's tongues is like trying to put gates to the open plain. If a governor comes out of his government rich, they say he has been a thief, and if he comes out poor, that he has been a noodle and a blockhead. They'll be pretty sure this time, said Sancho, to set me down for a fool rather than a thief. Thus talking, and surrounded by boys in a crowd of people, they reached the castle, wherein one of the corridors the Duke and Duchess stood waiting for them. But Sancho would not go up to see the Duke until he had first put up dapple into the stable, for he said that he had passed a very bad night in his last quarters. Then he went upstairs to see his Lord and Lady, and kneeling before them he said, because it was your highness's pleasure, not because of any dessert of my own. I went to govert your island of Barataria, which I entered naked, and naked I find myself. I neither lose nor gain. Whether I had governed well or ill, I have had witnesses who will say what they think fit. I have answered questions, I have decided causes, and always dying of hunger, for Dr. Pedro Recio of Terte Fuera, the island and governor doctor, would have it so. Enemies attacked us by night and put us in a great quandary, but the people of the island say they came off safe and victorious by the might of my arm, and may God give them as much health as there's truth in what they say. In short, during that time I have weighed the cares and responsibilities governings bring with it, and by my reckoning I find my shoulders can't bear them, nor are they a load for my loins, or arrows for my quiver, and so before the government threw me over I preferred to throw the government over, and yesterday morning I left the island, as I found it, with the same streets, houses, and roofs it had when I entered it. I asked no loan of anybody, nor did I try to fill my pocket, and though I meant to make some useful laws I made hardly any, as I was afraid they would not be kept, for in that case it comes to the same thing to make them or not to make them. I quitted the island, as I said, without any escort except my ass. I fell into a pit, I pushed on through it until this morning by the light of the sun I saw an outlet, but not so easy a one, but that had not heaven sent my master Don Quixote, I'd have stayed there till the end of the world. So now my lord and lady, Duke and Duchess, here is your governor Sancho Ponza, who, in the bare ten days he has held the government, has come by the knowledge that he would not give anything to be governor, nor to say of an island, but of the whole world, and that point being settled, kissing your worship's feet, and imitating the game of the boys when they say, leap thou and give me one. I take leap out of the government, and pass into the service of my master Don Quixote, for, after all, though in it I eat my bread and fear and trembling, at any rate I take my fill, and for my part, so long as I'm full, it's a like to me whether it's with carrots or with partridges. Here Sancho brought his long speech to an end, Don Quixote, having been the whole time in dread of his uttering a host of absurdities, and when found him leave off with so few, he thanked heaven in his heart. The Duke embraced Sancho, and told him he was heartily sorry he had given up the government so soon, but that he would see that he was provided with some other post on his estate less onerous and more profitable. The Duchess also embraced him, and gave orders that he should be taken good care of, as it was plain to see he had been badly treated and worse bruised. www.blogspot.com