 Item number, SCP-092, Object Class, SAFE, Special Containment Procedures. The 3,125 instances of SCP-092 are to be held in individual cases suitable for containing non-anomalous audio compact discs, or CDs, and stored in standard inanimate object lockers at Site 37. Each instance is to be individually numbered with permanent marker. Testing of instances of SCP-092 is to be done in soundproof rooms. Only one instance of SCP-092 may be examined at a time. Only D-Class personnel are to listen to previously unexamined instances of SCP-092. Research proposals which involve non-D-Class personnel listening to instances of SCP-092 require written approval from Site Command. The cadaver of SCP-092-B is not currently considered anomalous, except by association, and is preserved in the morgue freezer at Site-19. Description SCP-092 is a set of 3,125 audio CDs. Each labeled, the absolute absolute absolute absolute best of the 5th dimension, and marked with the names of the 31 performers who have at various times been part of the American singing group the 5th dimension. Each instance of SCP-092 when played in a standard CD player will produce a distinct anomalous effect upon all individuals within hearing range. The anomalous phenomenon will last 74 minutes, the duration of a standard audio CD, during which time listeners will be unable to leave hearing range, or to shut off the CD player, or otherwise interrupt its function. As well, when the anomalous phenomenon finishes, all surviving listeners will engage in synchronized vocalization of the phrase, wow, that was real cool. Synchronized vocalization has been observed in non-anglophones, pre-verbal infants, unconscious individuals, paralyzed individuals, and individuals physically incapable of speech due to laryngeal, lingual, and or buccal damage. The anomalous properties of each instance of SCP-092 are thematically and conceptually linked to the number 5, dimensions, and or the members of the 5th dimension. As of 871 instances of SCP-092 have been assessed, and their anomalous properties formally described. Representative sample of documented anomalous properties of instances of SCP-092, instance SCP-092-28, anomalous property, listeners experience quintuple vision for all moving objects, instance SCP-092-41, anomalous property, listeners' bodies exude pentagonal crystals of elemental boron, chemical element number 5, crystals cease materializing upon conclusion of CD, but do not dematerialize, instance SCP-092-42, anomalous property, listeners' bodies exude pentagonal ingots of elemental manganese, chemical element number 25, or 5 to the power of 2, ingots cease materializing upon conclusion of CD, but do not dematerialize, listeners succumb to acute manganese poisoning within 24 hours, instance SCP-092-43, anomalous property, listeners' bodies exude pentagonal nodules of elemental cesium, chemical element number 55, all listeners killed by cesium burns within 8 minutes, instance SCP-092-79, anomalous property, listeners become physiologically 5 years old, instance SCP-092-80, anomalous property, listeners become physiologically 5 months old, instance SCP-092-81, anomalous property, listeners become physiologically 5 weeks old, instance SCP-092-82, anomalous property, listeners become physiologically 5 days old, instance SCP-092-87, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously become 5 months pregnant, pregnancies spontaneously miscarry upon conclusion of CD, in initial tests all male listeners succumb to massive internal hemorrhaging within 10 minutes, as do 3 female listeners, surviving female listeners succumb to organ damage within 4 days, postmortem genetic analysis shows that all fetuses were identical and are not related to the listeners, instance SCP-092-126, anomalous property, listeners experience unbearably painful facial spasms characterized by constant chewing and biting motions, symptoms of trigeminal neuralgia caused by inflammation of the 5th cranial nerve, during initial test all listeners batter themselves into unconsciousness against walls of testing chamber in attempt to escape the pain, instance SCP-092-175, anomalous property, listeners bodies are pent-asected radially producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile, instance SCP-092-176, anomalous property, listeners bodies are pent-asected laterally producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile, instance SCP-092-177, anomalous property, listeners bodies are pent-asected axially producing 5 disconnected segments which remain alive and mobile, instance SCP-092-200, anomalous property, listeners are teleported to a site on the surface of Himalaya, the 5th most massive moon of Jupiter, 5th planet from the Sun, listeners are returned upon conclusion of CD but succumbed to the combined effects of hypothermia, hypoxia, and radiation poisoning within three hours, requests have been made to use SCP-092-200 to send exploration teams equipped with environment suits to Himalaya, approval is pending, instance SCP-092-256, anomalous property, listeners are converted into two-dimensional forms, instance SCP-092-271, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously lose 5 teeth each, teeth do not regrow after conclusion of CD, instance SCP-092-272, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously lose all but 5 teeth each, teeth do not regrow after conclusion of CD, instance SCP-092-273, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously lose 5 fingernails each, fingernails do not regrow after conclusion of CD, instance SCP-092-274, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously lose 5 toenails each, toenails do not regrow after conclusion of CD, instance SCP-092-278, anomalous property, listeners spontaneously grow 3 extra eyes each for a total of 5, extra eyes do not dematerialize upon conclusion of CD, eyes are functional and of the same color as listeners' original eyes, D0927714, who had lost an eye in a fight prior to entering Foundation custody, grew 4 extra eyes when listening to SCP-092-278, instance SCP-092-279, anomalous property, listeners experience topological deformation such that their height becomes the circumference of their waist and vice versa, deformation reverts a conclusion of CD, this appears to be an exchange between listeners' dimension of height and dimension of width, instance SCP-092-285, anomalous property, listeners sneeze 5 times per minute for the duration of CD, instance SCP-092-286, anomalous property, listeners belch 5 times per minute for the duration of CD, instance SCP-092-287, anomalous property, listeners hiccup 5 times per minute for the duration of CD, instance SCP-092-288, anomalous property, listeners cough 5 times per minute for the duration of CD, instance SCP-092-315, anomalous property, listeners find themselves within the 2010 Lars von Trier film Dimension where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters, since Dimension is only 27 minutes in duration, the events within the film repeat 2.74 times, instance SCP-092-316, listeners find themselves within the 1993 EastEnders Doctor Who crossover Dimensions in Time where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters, since the two parts of Dimensions in Time are only 13 minutes in total duration, the events within the episodes repeat 5.69 times, instance SCP-092-317, anomalous property, listeners find themselves within the 1963 Italian film Amore and Quattro Dimensioni where they are able to interact with the setting but not affect the actions of the characters, instance SCP-092-397, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of Alan Shepard, the fifth man to walk on the moon, instance SCP-092-399, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of James Monroe, the fifth president of the United States, instance SCP-092-400, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of Mackenzie Boll, the fifth prime minister of Canada, instance SCP-092-401, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of Edward Siga, the fifth prime minister of Jamaica, instance SCP-092-402, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of Charan Singh, the fifth prime minister of India, instance SCP-092-403, anomalous property, listeners experience random moments in the life of Helen Hayes, the fifth winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress, instance SCP-092-466, anomalous property, listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension as they were at the time of the group's establishment in 1966, instance SCP-092-467, anomalous property, listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension as they were at the time of the original group's dissolution in 1975, instance SCP-092-468, anomalous property, listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension as they were at the time of the original group's reunion in 1990, instance SCP-092-469, anomalous property, listeners are physically transformed into members of the original lineup of the fifth dimension as they are today, listeners who transform into Ron Townsend, 1933 to 2001, resume their original forms after conclusion of CD, but do not resurrect. When an instance of SCP-092 is inserted into the CD drive of a personal computer, its files can be accessed without triggering the anomalous effects. Examination of the files indicates that each CD has different content. All content is audio material by or pertaining to the fifth dimension and its individual members. In addition to all known commercially released songs, files contain live performances, practice sessions, auditions, media interviews, and personal conversations. Acquisition log. On May 5, an unidentified man, henceforth SCP-092-B, carrying two suitcases, approached front gate guards at Site-19 and stated that he wished to surrender himself and his anomalous creations into foundation custody. The contents of his suitcases were confiscated and classed as SCP-092. SCP-092-B was transferred to Site-37 for interrogation. During interrogation, SCP-092-B revealed the thematic connections, five dimensions, and the fifth dimension between all instances of SCP-092 and then committed suicide. Transcript of statement made by SCP-092-B upon arrival at Site-19. Guard. Sir, this is private property. You can't SCP-092-B. This is a secret foundation site, right? Guard. You can't come in here, sir. I… SCP-092-B. You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure. Guard. What was that, sir? SCP-092-B. You're the SCP Foundation, and I'm a failure. I think I'm clever, but I'm not. I'm a stupid, boring, necklaterny hack who thinks that money and cheap puns can take the place of talent and inspiration. I'm tasteless. I'm dull. I'm incompetent. I have no sense of style, and the only reason I'm not an art criminal is that nothing I've ever made is even close to being art. You can secure me, and you can contain me, but no one can protect me. Please take me and my anomalous garbage into custody. At this point, guard summoned to backup. SCP-092-B repeated this statement verbatim until he was taken into custody. Except from transcript of SCP-092-B interrogation session number two. Interviewer. Yes, we understand about fiveness. Thank you. That's been most helpful. But we were also wondering what you could tell us about how you made these. SCP-092-B. I just wanted to be cool, you know? I really did. I thought, well, I had my inheritance and my collection, and there was the estate and the abandoned museum, and so much of the stuff went together, and it wasn't that tough, and look, my ideas were better than yours. They were. I know they were. No, they're not. Nobody's impressed by this stupid facile wordplay. It's not even good wordplay. It's kindergarten level paranormal Asia. Oh, look, five dimensions. What other things can you think of that come in fives? I'm worthless. I'm worthless. Interviewer. Better than my ideas? SCP-092-B. There's no deeper meaning to what I did. It's all just superficial Potemkin Village **** pumping imitation **** into the river of human achievement. It's Stein's **** Oakland, and I don't even **** understand those **** illusions. I'm an uninspired wannabe. I'm boring. I'm a useless hack with no **** imagination. I've wasted and ruined miracles. I've squandered so much raw material that better people could have done so much with. I just, I'm not cool. I never will be. I'm really sorry about the mess. These aren't my arms. At this point, SCP-092-B seized his own head with both hands and ripped it off his neck, killing himself instantly. Lesson complete. If you missed the previous orientation, go watch SCP-091 Nostalgia right now. Or for the complete course, watch this playlist.