 This video is dedicated to anybody out there who thinks it's a good idea to date your ex. In this video, we're going to discuss the spoiled milk philosophy and you're not going to want to miss it, so stay tuned. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And I'm coming back at you with another video for my series, The Broken Picker. This entire playlist is for people who struggle in relationships, so make sure that you check out the entire playlist. I will have it linked in the description above. Alright, so anyways, just so you all know, I'm coming from a place of somebody who has notorious for doing this. Notorious. I have this thing where I have constantly dated exes over and over. I think just about every ex I had, I tried to date them again and every single time it ended up terribly. So some of you are sitting out there and you're wondering, you're like, oh, what's what's the spoiled milk philosophy? So this actually comes from one of my good buddies. He was kind of like an older brother slash mentor to me. And back in the day, you know, I had a relationship we broke up and I was like started to talk to her again. Oh, we work things out and all those things that we tell ourselves start justifying the things that happened in the relationship or rationalizing it like, oh, they were just in a bad place at that time. Now it's all better. Yeah, I know that sounds familiar to some of you. So anyways, I'm talking to my buddy. I'm like, yeah, me and so and so we're talking again. Honestly, I don't even remember who it was. I've gotten back together with so many exes. Anyways, this dude, smart guy, and he's like, dude, that's like the spoiled milk. I'm like, what, what, what are you talking about? What's the spoiled milk thing that you're talking about? Right? And the way he put it to me, he's like dating an ex is like spoiled milk. It's like going to your refrigerator, opening it up, taking out the milk, drinking it and say, oh, oh my God, this is, this is spoiled. And then putting it back in the fridge, coming back to it later and thinking that it's going to be good milk. And I'm like, you are so correct. Like that's what we do with people with our old relationships or anybody getting with an ex. Like it's like putting this spoiled thing back in a refrigerator and coming back to it as if it somehow magically got better. Like it's pure insanity. It's pure insanity. The sickest part about this, the sickest twisted part about this is that even after he explained this to him, I'm like, no man, not me. And I got with that ex. And for the next few years, I proceeded to get with other exes. And every time I could do nothing else, but just laugh at myself about this. I'm like, oh my God, John was right again. And it's so true. Like I've done other videos about this. I did a video titled Stop Dating Broken People. I will link it again in the info card above if you want to check it out. But the main point I want to focus on for any of you out there who are like me and date exes or in the process of talking to an ex or anything like that, like something I just really want to drill into your head is that people don't change that easily is very, very rare that people actually change. The best way I can hopefully get it through to your head is like, think about the last time that you did like a major, a major change in your life. Like probably like when you were younger and it wasn't that big of a deal, but so many people are set in their ways. And I'm not talking about like, well, I just started going to the gym. So that's a major change. No, I'm talking about personality wise. I'm talking about being emotionally available. I'm talking about learning how to control your temper. These are the things that I'm talking about. What was the last time you did some major transformation? Because if you're someone who doesn't go through major transformations on a regular basis, what makes you think that your ex has gone through a major transformation recently? Right? Like think about it in those terms. I will tell you one story that I think is a little bit different, but in actuality, it's really the same. But here's my here's Chris's justification for it. So when I was hitting rock bottom in my addiction, I was seeing this one girl and I was drunk or high all the time. And it was around the time when I couldn't see my son, I was slowly killing myself. I was just in a bad way. And I ended up packing up and moving to California where I got clean and I stayed out there for like a little over a year. Now, during the first few months while I was out there, this girl, she kept texting me when are you coming back? Like she was really into me and stuff and she wanted a relationship. I'm like, no, sorry, I got to stay out here. I'm going to kill myself. Like, that's just the way it is. So anyways, when I moved back to Las Vegas, she didn't live here, but she eventually moved back to Las Vegas herself. And we started talking again and kind of flirting and stuff like that. And we decided to give this thing another chance. Now, my justification and rationalization for that was I personally went through this major change. Like me and her had never tried dating with me being clean. And, you know, her just being her. So I felt that that kind of made sense because maybe everything that went wrong, you know, we never really gave it a shot because of me, but I will tell you this. We got together, we got back together and it was awful. It was absolutely, it was absolutely terrible. Like, you know, she was kind of nuts. I have other videos about how I like dating crazy women and she was nuts and it was a terrible relationship. There was a lot of verbal emotional abuse. You know, she would just completely beat me down all the time, yell at me, scream with me, fight with me, all sorts of things. It was a nightmare. And I'm like, oh, I guess the spoiled milk thing is still true. Like, even after you get sober, you know what I mean? But, but anyways, I really want you guys to start thinking about that. If you're the type of person that I used to be where you keep getting back with exes or giving your ex another try, like the important thing for all of us, like in all of these life changes that we're trying to make to improve our mental health, like look back at your past. Has it ever worked before? Has it ever worked before? If it hasn't worked before, why is it going to work now? That's something that we get stuck in. And I get why people date exes. I get it. I absolutely get it. People get back with exes because it's safe, because it's comfortable. You don't have to go out and meet somebody new. You don't have to go out and work through all your trust issues. You don't have to work on being vulnerable. Like, you've already done it. It's comfortable. I get it. It's comfortable. But most good things that come to us in life are going to be difficult. They're not going to be comfortable and they're going to be new. But if you think back to every time that you made this leap and got uncomfortable for a little bit, you probably can look back at your history and say like, wow, I made some really great progress and was one of the best things I've ever done. Maybe you tried getting a new job and a different career, something that you weren't familiar with, but you ended up loving it, right? Or you went out and tried some adventure that you've never been on and you were scared at first. You got uncomfortable and you did it. You're like, wow, I really love this. You see what I mean? So I get it's comfortable to get back with exes, but remember it's spoiled milk. Okay? But anyways, anyways, I want to hear from all of you down there. So in the comments below, let me know. Let me know. Let's do this. Let's play this game. Let me know if I'm wrong. Let me know if I'm wrong. Let me know about the ex that you got back with and everything was amazing. I want to hear from you. I want to hear how that played out. I want to hear why. Okay? But do me a favor. If you watch this video and you're not somebody who goes and drinks that spoiled milk, do me a favor and share this video with one of your friends. We all got that friend who loves getting with exes, right? So share this video with them. All right? But anyways, that's all the time I got today. If you like this video, if you like what I'm doing when it comes to relationship topics of mental health, please give this a thumbs up. And if you haven't yet, make sure you hit that little round subscribe button. All right? I'm always making videos like this.