 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're going to figure out my medieval dynasty. Well actually I already did DNA tests and uh, well I'm 100% Irish so I know my dynasty is just filled with incest. Well we're going to simulate a different medieval dynasty then. Ooh! Okay, so people always doubt me. They think I'm a YouTuber and that's all I could do, like if I was born in any other time period. I'd probably be dead in a gutter somewhere, but no that's not true at all. I'd be fine. Wait a second. Where's the internet? I thought the Middle Ages just meant everyone was middle-aged and a boomer and couldn't figure out the internet. Oh my god, I might be in over my head here. How am I supposed to figure out what to do in my life if Google can't tell me? Birch branches. These must be valuable. These could be the currency in this world. Okay, now that I've amassed a fortune of birch branches, I'm going to head into the village. Oh, had hurt myself on the way. Alright, this is obviously like the mayor's house or something. Why? I'm in charge now. Wait, can I have this house? It's actually kind of nice. It's cozy. A bit of a lack of windows, but you know what? That's the same as my house anyway. All my windows are just green screened in. I can rob them. Racemere. What kind of a name is Racemere? Hello, I'm new here. Racemere is my name and I came from the south looking for my uncle Lordin. In his old home, they called him Lordin the Raftsman. God, that's not very creative. But then again, I did pick Call Me Kevin as my YouTube name, so your uncle got himself killed, my friend. The idea of a huge trade with the German kingdom in the west. If only he knew what the Germans were capable of, he never would have trusted them. New beginning. This is my home now, I guess. I was kind of hoping to just mooch off my rich uncle, but that's not going to happen. Can I punch this goose? Oh, I can. Come on, goose, don't run. You have no chance. It's 2,000 to buy this goose and I'm just killing them. I'm just ruining someone's life here. I'm going to need a knife if I want to cut open these geese. Oh, look away. I got to steal this knife. There we go. I got it. Okay. My reputation went down 45. I think they may have seen me. Just skinning their goose in front of them. At this point, they're going to kill me. What are you looking at? I'll skin you next. Back off. Oh, I hear more wildlife. The cow is 5,000. Cheek. All right. You know what? I'll just kill it and take its goods. I like how it just gets colored red as you attack it. All right. There we go. No skin. My reputation is flying down. I got lots of meat. Is there a butcher or something? I can't sell the knife because it's stolen. But the meat isn't stolen. There we go. I'm off to a good start. Oh, look at all those chickens. Well, best get punching. It's not much, but it's dishonest work. Sorry, little chicks. You had to just see their mother die. Okay, no need for pushing. Oh, this guy's getting right up in my grill. All the wildlife are trying to run away. It is always the animals that are first to know when something is wrong. And I am definitely wrong. Oh, another thing to kill. Hey, little child, would you like to come with me? Can I save before I start beating up the child? I can. Great. All right, just you and me. Let's go. She's too good at what she does. She's dodging every hit. All right. Now I'm armed. Hey, folks, you're trying to summon something? If you're trying to summon the devil, well, you got me. It's just as bad. I'm creating a new settlement and I'm looking for good people willing to join me. Also, you're running out of food in this settlement, so you should probably come with me. Wait, I need better reputation to bring people with me. I don't think I'm ever going to get a good reputation. It's already plummeted. Let's just look for a little quest or something. I want to tell you something, beautiful lady. Sorry, I don't know you well enough yet. Let's just have a little bit of small talk. What a day. I've been working almost nonstop, but I know my hard work will pay off. You'll know what they say. Early bird gets the worm. I've just been beating up all their livestock. My approval went down 5%. Oh, it's notifying me about a wife. Well, it's not going to be this one. Her name is Idietta, and I had a feeling she was a bit of an Idietta if you get my drift, you know? A little bit of trash talk right there for you. I grew up on the late 2000s Xbox Live, so I kind of know what I'm doing when it comes to trash talking. I've got like six kills this game. I bet you have only like two. I've got like six. I've got one actually, and you've got none. You've only got one, and I've got six. I am so much better than you. You've got none, you fucking retard. I've got six kills, and you've only got one. Hello, be my wife. My mom told me not to talk to strangers. Is this your mom? I'll have a word. Nobody likes me. He won't even gossip with me. He said I'm being nosy. Hello, would you like to be my wife? Oh, you're 17. I'm just trying to get a wife here. The cows did nothing, by the way. It's just, well, they don't have punching bags in medieval times. They weren't invented yet, so they used cows. Just trying to turn this into a learning moment for you so you can learn a little bit about what it was like to live back then. Maybe I should just start making myself useful, because I've got a few tasks there on the right that I could start on. I want to tell you something, beautiful lady. Sorry, but I'm married. What has that got to do with it? Look at her husband getting all up in my grill. He's all going to make eye contact, but still a little bit insecure that he had to come over and address the situation. What is his deal? Dude, I'm just trying to talk to this lady. Are you her husband? Do you just want me to talk to you? Will you be my wife then? He has no time to idle chitchat right now, but you're doing feck all, so I don't know why. All right, I'm going to go chop some trees. Yummy berries. I'm sure I can just eat these. I'll be fine. I wish I could Google if they were safe to eat. I always heard that people in middle ages couldn't read, but they're everywhere. Another misconception about ye olden times. Might be a good idea to take off my clothes when I'm trying to attract the wife. Oh, there's straw here. Is there anyone around? Will they see me, no matter where I am? Okay, my reputation's going down, but I'm getting the straw I need to build my roof. I could just take these logs. No one in this village is going to like me. What is this? The cow in the middle of the road? Are we in like an old Pokemon game or something? Sorry kid, you can't go this way. This milk tank is falling asleep on the way of the path. I don't need a hoe right now. So this is no good to me. I need to find an axe. What the hell is a cudgel? I need water and food. There's a bucket of water here. Let me just steal this. I don't think anyone actually saw me take that. That's the sound of my guy eating the water. I think he ate the bucket too. Oh, look at this guy again. He is definitely the village idiot. He struggles. God bless. At least it's not me being the village idiot for once. Yes, I got enough straw. Okay, now I just got to figure out the axe. Oh, wait, stone axe. I have it off already. I have sticks and rocks. There we go. Lovely. He's just crafting it together. His hands just look like he was nervous. He's just going to ring in them. I need food. I have all that meat from earlier. Can I just eat some of it? I kept some of the dried meat. Wait, do I have 20 of them? Do I really have that many? Yes, I do. Oh my God, I had a lot of meat from killing all those animals. All right, let's cut down some trees. The one thing I'm actually earning for myself. Even then, I'm cutting them right next to their houses. So the trees are just falling on their houses. My next instruction is just build house. I just handed this idiot some logs. It's just like build house now. Oh, I must be carrying a lot of stuff. Yeah, I'm going to break my guys back. Okay, building. Let's see, houses. It's not letting me place it because it's too close to the village for facts sake. I'm going to build mine down on the flood plains. Okay, great. It's done. I don't need a roof anyway. He did a fantastic job with the foundation. Like surely that's the hard part. What do I need? Wattle well with door? What do I do? I just hammer here? Is this doing it? Okay, that did it. I need logs. Why didn't... All right, fine. I'll just cut down more trees. If they made me make the frame first and then told me about trees, it would have been handy because I cut down loads of trees over there, but I can't haul all the logs. Okay, to be fair, this is actually coming together quite nicely and pretty quick. It's not that bad to build in this game. Some games take forever. There we go. That's good. Now just build up the roof and we should be fine. Like why didn't it make me collect enough fucking straw? I don't have enough. I can't see anything. Where is this light coming from? This world is confusing me. All right, let's make a little campfire in my house. I can't see anything. You can't put a campfire in your house. Goddammit, just let me kill myself. Look, house is done. For fuck's sake, they gave me a free fire in the house when I built for no reason. Oh, I got a free bed. I was trying to figure out how to do that. God, I'm expecting a wife soon and a kid, I guess, because he made three beds for himself. Oh, I sleep till morning. Great. Fantastic. Look at that little house. It's lovely. Let's hope there's no wind because the door just kind of swings open. Should have built a revolving door maybe next time. One of my objectives is to hunt a wild animal. Do you reckon I could just get one of the ones in the village again? Will that count? Hey, folks, I'm back and I need to kill an animal. Even the music sounds evil as I'm running into the village. Oh, there you are, you little gooseling. You didn't see anything. Igor, does anyone have a mission for me? Give me a mission or else. All right, she's got an exclamation mark. What do you need? I need help from a strong man. Well, I don't mean to boast, but I've lifted a log or two in my time. I have to feed my family, but the food went missing. Steve got what I need. There you go. All right, what do you want? Please just want me to... He needs a scythe. Okay. Well, I'm good friends with the Reaper. I bring him a lot of business. I can ask him. He just needs 30 sticks. Okay, that's the mission. That's why he hasn't gotten a tool for himself. He needs sticks. Here, use that as a new handle. Give a stick. I thought I'd actually have to make it for him. Did I get anything? I didn't get anything. That was a waste of my time and my sticks. Do you know how valuable a stick was back then? That's worth like 50 sticks now. Inflation is insane. What is happening here? They've summoned Satan after all. Well done, folks. You're stuck with it and you pulled it off. Fantastic. Can you be my wife? Sorry, but I'm married. I can see why you got a lot going for you. You got a lot going for you. All right, I'm trying to hunt a wild animal. Hopefully they haven't ran off because, you know, that devil lady down in the village. As I said earlier, the animals are always the first to know if something's off. Oh, an animal. Might be hard to catch. It has four legs and I only have two. Come back, you bastard. God damn it, do I have my gun on me? Craft a gun quick. This one's running at me. How the hell am I supposed to catch these bastards? They're so fast. I'm out of stamina. I can't catch them. They're way too fast. Any slots in the area or something. I can place a rabbit trap. Maybe that'll work. That might be a good shout and then they can't run. Fantastic. Oh, God, I trapped myself from a rabbit trap. God, this is advanced technology. It's tricky. Like I almost got caught in that thing. I could have died. How much meat do you need? Look at this hunger bear. It's just, it's not going up. I just ate like a whole cow. What if I make like a stew? I need carrots. I can rob them from someone. Just running into the town with a sharpen stick. Hand over your carrots. Oh, you got down. I'm so happy for you. Good job. Oh, I see veggies. Oh, he's going to eat them. Hold on. Oh, three carrots. It's my lucky day. I'll take those of you don't mind. Thank you. I want to tell you something beautiful, ladies. I stand there with a spear up against her neck. I'm not sure if I should put one of those carrots under the trap to be honest. Like I set up the box, but there is no reason for the rabbit to go in there. But I really kind of need to eat. I'm just starving and I ate like eight chunks of meat and it's not helping. Did he cook it? Or I don't understand. Do I have stew now? Oh, I have stew. Okay, eat. Okay, that helped. That was good. No to sell, steal things and eat them. I see another village over there. Like I've been terrorizing that one. Let's see if they have any goodies. I'll attack them by sea. Yes, this was definitely the way to do it instead of using the bridge that's right next to my house. You got so slow in the water too. Charge! Running at them with the feckin stick. Please marry me, someone. Surely this village won't hate me, right? They won't have heard of my dastardly deeds in the village far, far away across the river. Why is everyone married? Come on, you can't be married. You're literally talking to a wall. Oh my God, what kind of hybrid chickens are you building in this village? Okay, she's not married. Yes, I got approval and her affection now shows. I mean, it's a 0% but it's showing. I forgot that I'm naked. Maybe that's why no women want me. I'm coming across a little forward. They only accept one piece of conversation and it'll go up and if I talk to them more it'll go down. It's like they start to understand that my personality isn't that great so they just don't want to deal with me anymore. Trying to destroy their buildings but I don't think I can. I don't think it works. The trap is down. Is there something in it? You stupid rabbit. There is no even food in there. It looks like the trap killed them as well. God, that is really efficient. It didn't count as hunting the wild animal though unfortunately. How the hell am I going to get an animal? I don't understand. Oh wait, I can throw the spear? I'm an idiot. Okay, let me try and get an animal again. Oh, yeah. Okay, throwing the spear might be possible but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. There. Did that hit him? He didn't even seem to notice. God damn, I'm so bad with this spear. He's not even moving. Maybe I should just held on to the thing. Where did it go? I've lost my damn stick. I'll craft another one I guess. That was my favorite spear too. It was my only spear but still it meant a lot to me. Come here. Come here. Stop darting around. Oh, I hit it. That was a good shot. Wait, give it back. Give it back. Hold on. Hold on. Give it back to me. Alright, I'll just craft another one. God damn it. Just give me back my spear please. Yes, that's two in them, right? That one hit? Did it? That one definitely hit. Come on. Give me back one. In fact, I'll take them both. Thank you very much. Okay, he's going easy on me now. I think he can't run. Oh, thank God. I think... Wait, no, he's not dead. Yes! What the fuck? That was hard to catch. Wait, why can't I not skin it? I think my guy's confused. Come on. You got practice on all those villagers' livestock. There you go. You got it. Alright, that is my mission complete. My next goal is just survive for a season. They're setting the barrel low. Just survive. I am lost in the forest though. So it might still be a difficult task to accomplish. Oh, no, there she is. There's the house. It is looking very nice now. This house has become a home. Stick up a live laugh love sign and honestly, it'll be perfect. Ah, it's a beautiful morning. What a wonderful day to be alive. There's only like another day or two in the season. This went just a lot better than expected. See, I told you I could make it in medieval times. Like, I kind of proved that already in Crusader Kings when I became king of kings. Like, I kind of proved that already in Crusader Kings when I became king rat boy. But some people, I'm just saying some journalists and articles came out like in Forbes, the New York Times. Just saying that perhaps call me Kevin was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but I started from nothing. And look, look at this. I'm making fantastic progress. So take that mainstream media. I guess we're going to end it there though. I hope you enjoyed. This is a nice little game. It was very relaxing despite all the dastardly deeds I was doing. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed. If you want to see more, let me know. This is a game I think I'd be open to playing more on, either in videos or streams. Speaking of which, if you like my stuff, I post every day. I also stream over on Twitch. Link in the description. But yeah, I won't plug myself too much. Hey guys, editor Kevin here. Just dropping in a quick note. I'm going to leave a link to a new channel I've made, which is Stream Highlights. Similar to how my current videos are edited, they will just be bits and pieces of streams just condensed down into like 10 minutes. So hopefully there should be good fun stuff over there. I got some among us going up soon. There's nothing on the channel yet. But there's a link in the description if you want to subscribe. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed the video. Appreciate watching and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.