 Oh, we're live? Oh, we're live. Up. Okay. Good afternoon, Foundation staff. This is level four researcher Theron Sherman, and today's broadcast illustrates that even the big bad O5s have the same schmucks as you and me. We're talking about SCP-5983. It's level four classified and the object class is thomial. Special Containment Procedures. Testing of SCP-5983 is currently prohibited by O5 Directive. See it in the 5983-2. Description. SCP-5983 is an anomalous relationship between the force of an explosion in Drawing County, Wyoming and the efficiency of the New York City subway. The specific equation for this relationship has not yet been deduced, but it is understood to be proportional. The larger the yield of the explosion, the faster and smoother the subway will function for the day. Following his discovery in June of 2016, several tests with SCP-5983 were authorized to confirm its effects. Addendum 5983-1. We got a table here to listen to the date the explosive yield per kilotons of TNT and the result. June 27, 2016, explosive yield 0.05. Result, no significant statistical rise in efficiency. However, researchers noted an unusually no number of complaints filed on the MTA's website. July 2, 2016, explosive yield was 0.05. Result, a delay on one line caused by damage to the equipment was cleared much quicker than expected, allowing transit to resume faster. July 13, 2016, yield of one. Result, trains operated exactly to estimated times with no delays or earlyness. July 23, yield of two. Trains were ahead of schedule by several minutes. MTA staff took active action to maintain this. An employee once pulled a suicidal individual away from the tracks. It is unclear whether SCP-5983 affected this decision. August 1, yield of 3.5. Trains seemed to regularly defy reality and physics to reach destinations quickly. In one instance, a train began to simply teleport between stations. Can't counters fail to return an accurate measure of the area's human level, although this could be due to the ambient effects of the subway. And then there's 292 lines of tests submitted, so we're just gonna move on. At the end of 5983.2, in 2018, it was found that an O5 directive that led to SCP-5983 being tested 297 times since its discovery, occasionally multiple times a day. An official O5 vote was scheduled to decommission testing for SCP-5983. The summary of the council's vote, O512 voted nay, all the other O5s voted yay. So the vote was approved in the comments of the vote. In my defense, if you've ever been on the 830 to Broadway, you'd want to nuke something too. All right, staff, that ends our broadcast. Use your foundation encrypted YouTube account to like, comment, and subscribe, and support our broadcast at patreon.com.site42. Here, here.