 Okay, Barbara's in the house. This is going to be um Hi Hi I'll bear with me. Good Lord. Just said I had to shower. I didn't think I was going to do the hot seat but Weird connection you and I have been having I caught you today on bumble Oh, really? I didn't see that so No, I didn't swipe but it was nice to see I was like, what is he doing in new york? It's a trouble. You know what? I someone um, I was I'm taking a trip to new york Possibly for the holidays. So I thought what the heck I'll do a quick look Hopefully I didn't give anything away for 10 minutes and I changed it back. So Okay, so what's your question? Question for you So, uh, I asked about vetting where I'm seeing a lot of woke or done the work people on the apps Okay, um, one of the I don't want to say concerns or or a game playing or anything But like I said, I'm trying to really sort of narrow down my pool even more So do you go through a process where you're kind of like One of your contemporaries would say get 10 percent, you know, um to be able to go through Otherwise, you won't really have like a freshman class. So to speak. I don't know if you know who I'm talking about But I don't know who that is but um, but I don't even understand what that means Evan mark hats basically suggests that you know, you can't just have only five percent You know of of you know 100 people that you swiped on you really should get a good number of 10 percent to be able to Kind of have a good pool to go through I'm having a hard time filling up that 10 percent. I'm only seeing maybe three percent I would interact with and again It's pretty much like kind of going through the vetting process Do you go through a process to have more of a bigger pool? Uh by seeing certain things on So I'm not a big proponent of and there's there's beyond him and there's dozens and dozens That's subscribed to a um A cold calling method. Okay. I call it cold calling. I used to be in sales So it used to be in sales. You grab a telephone book. In fact in the wolf of wall street or any of those, you know Movies where you know, you're a salesperson of something and you just go through the phone book and call people Okay, so to me Online dating has now turned into A version of cold calling if you will So the more people you put in your funnel the greater chances for success. Okay, right now I think when you've reached a point in your evolution And this is my subscription and very few people actually reached this point of evolution Where they truly know who they are as a person More importantly, who is compatible with them? You see the challenge with many of my contemporaries that got married in their early 30s and they started to make babies They have no fucking clue what it's like to go through a divorce to go through Uh, you know met, you know, menopause erectile dysfunction elderly parents Uh in assisted living facilities losing your libido. I mean, um, you know, um, you know The emotional effects of of of children going through college the financial burdens I mean, this is midlife folks have a completely different curated experience Or incubated experience versus those that got married and only had one goal Make babies or find someone to make babies within your hollow identity as being a family for us It's a completely different dynamic. You can't even you can't superimpose that to our demographic Does that make sense? completely Okay, so you get so So here's the challenge with online dating um, I would say venture to say 97 of the profiles have been Oh, we lost her. No, I'm here. Okay disappeared for a second. So 97 of the profiles have been pure poorly um Created very poorly created like when I just said that someone on hinge just wiped me I swiped me it was like her first photograph was a picture of her and two other people in it And you know is like tiny out of where is Waldo? Yeah, huh Waldo. Where's waldo? Which one is it? Yeah, exactly Or then you put by the way, if your woman never put a picture of your gorgeous daughter there because that's who we're going to want to date Um, don't be you know, I'm sorry. We guys will we'll grab it. I get it. I get it So the out of focus photographs the poorly designed those are the photographs and then the essay that's written is usually poorly created So so it comes back to the swiping idea. So if you're doing the dialing for dollars I called it cold calling or back in sales. We used to call it dialing for dollars Then you have to use that methodology, but it actually emotionally Becomes incredibly taxing Agreed It becomes almost an emotional drain So from a spiritual perspective, and I just interviewed mac con enjoy kingsboro with the video will be coming out on On in a couple days, but they that we talked about divine partnership I think for those who are truly on a spiritual path who really are connected with their own divinity and their capacity to be intuitive You can literally look at a profile and feel into it Yeah, again 97 of them are going to be, you know, swipe the other way Anyway, okay, because they see the people that put I'm sorry bluntly speaking shitty shitty output is going to get shitty input. Okay Yeah, what you put in is what you're going to get out Yeah, and so the ambivalence Of most profiles is is not going to spark somebody who has Set by the way to the extent that I have a very high standard and I use myself in this game Is that I have a watermark that I'm seeking someone to meet so I only put out in my profile Well, if you saw my profile, then you saw quality photographs, right? Yeah, okay You saw quality crisp quality photographs all of me I did have one sunglass shot because it was a body shot. Okay, so you see my body I have a photograph of books that I read that tells a little bit about You know, I'm not jumping out of an airplane to say I'm active I show the books I read to talk about who I am on the inside. It's listed there And I wrote and I wrote in it if you happen to have read it I wrote some substantial Words in it. It wasn't like I did see that And a photo I believe if I don't want to assume you doing ayahuasca, but there was a teepee Shot That was a burning man party, but it was okay Hey, I don't want to make any assumptions, but But yes, but I mentioned plant-based medicine in my profile too. I think so. Yeah, it's okay But the first sentence is practically after I mentioned my son is I want to get married I'm seeking marriage-minded people. Okay. Why am I bringing all this up is the right a lot like a lot of women I know will be gravitate towards that because they're thirsty for a man like that But what I'm looking for is a person who is equally put the same energy out there So what energy have they put into their effort tells me So if they have quality photographs if they took the time to write something of value in it Those are the ones it doesn't it's not a based on a percentage because when you're dialing for dollars It's all based on a numbers game When you're in a facility if you have a spiritual philosophy It's all about becoming an attractor for what you want and attracting that in and that's a different approach I by the way, uh, I did that Earlier today because I'm thinking about taking a trip and I was just curious But can I be candid with you? I spent all of like two minutes and then I forgot to Disengage from it. So I probably only spend on any given day Five to ten minutes total on that because I'm doing all these other things in my life to draw in a partner as well Understood. Yeah, I I think I like the idea where I'm I'm not looking at my funnel of having such a wide You know sort of top. I don't mind the straw that filters down If I'm only dealing with 3% again, it's at my Level, you know, I think you and I we had the exchange today about the video the 18%, you know Dealing with and it's not even about hypergamy at all. It's more again of just finding someone that's compatible With of course the chemistry Unfortunately on dating apps. I don't know any new tactics or approach because what I'm seeing makes me fall down even smaller So here's the challenge with midlife You know most humans in their 40s 50s 60s and even 70s are actually still dating with 20 year old eyes In other words, you're looking at a 60 year old human being and expecting them to be 20 and I don't care what human says Otherwise, it's just true. We oftentimes date with 20 and 30 year old eyes What's interesting about matt and joy for example matt I mean, he's five foot one, you know matt con and joy is five foot seven You know, she thinks a beautiful man on the planet, but he's a little bit pudgy and bald You know would be rejected most likely from a trend from a woman who operates from a transactional perspective She's he's going to be rejected by 99.9 of women because We can fit the five foot seven height that is there and that's not even their bare minimum It's five nine is their bare minimum and even then that's rare But the reality is is when we Okay, let me just finish with this thought chemistry I did the Hoffman process some years ago. There were 40 39 people in the group 20 men 19 women So for those women who say men don't do this shit there were 20 men and 19 women Okay, and you're not allowed to tell people what you do for a living until the second last day And when I mentioned I'm a dating coach All the women surrounded me in the jacuzzi that night Okay, all the guys were upset that I was getting all the attention because of what I do I'm saying this little tongue-in-cheek, but one of the women said to me and she said and I quote Jonathan when I got here I scoped out the entire place and looked at the men and there were two men Oh, I was attracted to it was you and a guy who looked like the Marlboro man I mean this guy looked like he came off of a I know what you're talking about I've heard that reference Yeah, and and I happen to be six foot two and a full head of hair So I happen to meet most women's criteria because of my height. Okay She said after spending a week I would date every single man in this room See the problem with chemistry is we make quick judgments based on photographs and not the person's heart So in the case of joy and Matt they met live in person their hearts connected with one another and all that superfluous stuff That we oftentimes hyper focus on when you're swiping Yeah, it's taking one of the equation Well, I appreciate it. I won't take up much more of your time But I agree chemistry right now every time I've had a high chemistry with a gentleman it crashed and burned In flames, you know when it was like chemistry was on a 10 So yeah, I'm looking for a little bit more compatibility, but honestly with dating apps You know the drill the first thing they get you into the gate is that photo, you know, and then you start going to the essay That's why the best representation Yeah, that's why I put the best representation Exactly. Well, I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Can I give you a big gigantic Jonathan? Yes Wait, do I get one back? I did very quickly this way. I have to hold the phone with the other hand. Oh, god I got a guy. Okay. Thanks a bunch for being on. We appreciate it. Bye now