 In this video I want to talk about a term called toxic positivity. Have you heard this term before? Toxic positivity in essence is when you try to suppress emotions by being overly positive. So things like get over it, be positive, good vibes only, positive, positive, positive in your face that are kind of not realistic. So the reason why it's called toxic positivity is because when you're feeling low and sad, does this really help you at all or does this make you feel even worse? You can even try saying it out loud to yourself right now. Try saying this. Be happy. Life is full of blessings. Life is such a gift. My life should be great. Try that. Doesn't it make you feel kind of anxious? The reason why this is such a problem is because emotions are normal. Many people believe that having emotions are a bad thing, especially if they're negative. But emotions are normal. If you can feel happiness, it's normal to feel sadness. If you feel joy, it's normal to feel anger. When you have a project that is very overwhelming and seems way too big for you and you are filled with fear and daunted by the task, I know many people try to bring in positivity to make them push towards a certain project like all these positive things. But if you keep telling someone this, it kind of puts them in a state of more anxiety rather than really helping them. I want to show you how that's not really a fruitful or sustainable coping mechanism. So for example, when I practiced the other way of thinking that I just described rather than toxic positivity was this. I was in the event coordinating business in LA and we had to literally pull off an event for 500 people a week out, a week before. And it was so crazy. There were so many things that we had to checklist off and make sure everything was right for something that was going to feed 500 people, entertain 500 people, house 500 people, and it was just absolute chaos. So there was our project manager who at the time was like, we can do it guys. We can make the deadline. I believe in you. Good vibes only. Only positive thinking. Don't think negative. Kept trying to motivate us by injecting positivity. But the more he did that, the more actually I felt like really anxious because I felt like this person was now expecting perfection out of me and expecting a certain level out of me. And it wasn't really helping because it wasn't giving me solutions to the stress that I had. If anything was adding more to my stress, I felt he was expecting everyone to stay positive and everyone to stay happy and smile all the time. And if I didn't do that, then he would like try to correct me. And it was just really, really chaotic and really, really anxious. But I had another supervisor who was directly above me. So this was like the main project supervisor who was pushing this toxic positivity onto me. And then I had another supervisor who was right above me who told me, okay, listen, Linda, I know you're stressed out, but you can do this because you have the power to choose whether this event is going to succeed or whether this event is going to fail. You have the power to make this work. If you just give up and let go, it'll fail. But you also have the power if you get it together, you have the power to totally pull this off. And it's in your hands, what do you want? Do you want this event to work or do you not want this event to work? If you don't want the event to work, then just don't do anything. But if you want this event to work, you have the power to make it happen. So let's make it happen and think what's my next step to make it happen. And then from there, what's the next step? What's the next step? What's the next step? And when she broke it down like this, it made me like, okay, she's acknowledging my feelings. She's making me feel that it's okay that I'm stressed out, that I don't have to be a robot and look like I'm positive and perfect all the time, that I just need to take one step at a time and we ended up pulling off the event. So when someone is experiencing this and even you, when you're, if you have something that is very scary and you feel like you're going to fail and you're experiencing fear, instead of practicing toxic positivity, try this. You have equal power to succeed in the project or fail in the project because that's true. It's 50-50 chance you're going to fail, 50-50 chance you're going to succeed. You have the power to choose success. And you also have the power to choose failure. Which one do you choose? It's a small shift in focus, small shift in perspective, but now the power is back in your hands. It's your choice whether something is going to succeed or your choice whether something is going to fail. Doesn't that make you feel more in control of the situation, less anxious and less fearful? So this is a more positive, beneficial way to live a more honest life and see things in your life with more honesty and clarity rather than trying to mask emotions, mask reality with toxic positivity that is not realistic, not very helpful and not very honest. So let's be more honest people. Let's express truly what we feel inside and help people see reality the right way. So I feel a reason why people hang on to toxic positivity is because that's how they cope with the stress and pressures of life. Emotions are how we process and experience life and they're the normal ebbs and flows of life. So when someone is feeling sad and someone is feeling lonely, all they really want is for people to acknowledge that their feelings are okay because I feel in this society more than ever so many of us constantly, subconsciously tell ourselves that we're not okay. We're not good enough. We're not skinny enough. We're not pretty enough. We're not smart enough. We're not funny enough. We're not good enough. I feel so many of us keep telling ourselves these things especially when we're not feeling our best. So when someone is sad, all they want is for someone to tell them that feeling sad is okay, that their feelings are valid, and that there's nothing wrong with feeling sad. Try saying it this other way. I can see that you're sad. It's okay to feel sad. It's normal to feel sad. But I know you are powerful enough to overcome the sadness. I believe in you. I am with you. You are not alone. Which one of those feels better to you? And which one of those is a more honest way to invite people to express their feelings? I think that we need to learn how to express our feelings in an honest and open way. And when we invite people and make them feel comfortable to openly share what they feel, then I believe we can help people heal, process, and live a more authentic and meaningful life. Don't you think so? So if you're someone who's experienced toxic positivity being thrown into you, or you're someone who's guilty of practicing toxic positivity in your life, let me know in the comments below. For more tips and tricks and little hacks, experiences, and tools how to use your brain better, subscribe to our channel Brain Education TV. Hit that subscribe button down below, like, comment, share, tell your aunt, uncle, family, boyfriend, girlfriend, everyone, subscribe to our channel. Thanks everyone. Bye.