 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan as they have Jonathan as they comment I'm so excited to be shooting the short video for you today our topic. We're going to talk about bread crumbing Why do men bread crumb? What does bread crumbing look like probably like this? Really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button hit the bell So you can be notified of new videos and also if you like this content Please hit the like button as well and these are my weekend videos that I shoot on my balcony very similar to the Videos I shoot my private group called midlife love mastery check out the link below This is a group where you can ask you can be connected to me on a regular basis where you can ask me questions and depending on the questions You ask I shoot personalized videos in the group just for you So check out the link below to my VIP group called midlife love mastery All right, let's talk about bread crumbing and I've been thinking about this a lot lately because women Talked about this and you know the idea of bread crumbing comes from the you know From the idea that When you're eating crumbs fall out or Hansel and Gretel, where does bread crumbing come from? But the idea is basically you're just giving a small little morsel to a person you're in relationship In other words, basically what the implication is is that when you're dating a man That he doesn't reach out frequently. He might act passive. He might act slow his his He doesn't seem like he's progressing the relationship forward. He's not really Seeming invested. He's in the state of maybe. Okay, maybe Maybe let's think about maybe for a second and basically what I've noticed in a lot of Relationships are a couple different variations of why bread coming Had bread crumbing happens and one of them is because of what I call being a maybe and what being a maybe is is someone that has a connection with you and Appreciates the companionship with you and yet there's a doubt going on inside of him The doubt might be he doesn't feel like you're the one but he appreciates your company and appreciates and what I mean by appreciates Actually, let's reframe the word appreciate. He's taking your energy He's taking your energy and what I mean is he he he's taking the female energy not feminine energy But female energy to fill a void in his life to fill a void in his life And this happens a lot with men who put you in what's called the maybe category and by the way This is subconscious this maybe is a subconscious because they're not aware They're not fully in and fully present in the relationship And so what's happening in this maybe is like maybe I like or maybe I don't maybe I like or maybe I don't maybe I like Or there's an inner battle going on inside And of his subconscious that and how it shows up is showing up very slow passive bread crumbing type of behavior Right again, but bread coming is simply not frequent communication not frequent activity in the relationships It's very sparse. Okay. Now. I've observed that's one reason why by the way my chair is rocking I need to I think it's off balance right now. I Really quickly if you can tell my shirt says black Sabbath I saw them in concert a long time ago back in the late 70s early 80s and so So that's my shirt. Have you ever seen them in concert? Do you like black stuff? By the way, this is my Tony Stark look With from iron from the event shirts. Okay By the way, my cup says got Jonathan got Jonathan This was a gift from a client It's a metal cup. So when it gets too hot, it's too hot to hold All right Let's go back to the other things that happen when a man is bread crumbing And I think this is the more predominant reason why this happens is when two people meet and They share a connection with one another They share chemistry with one another and they and it feels like this feels right for them Okay, it feels right for them. It feels right for you So you start pursuing a relationship and then after you've gone past that short-lived honeymoon period and let's be real today The honeymoon period is so short. I mean it barely lasts a couple months at best Not to suggest it doesn't happen longer for other people But I'm just saying when the chemicals start to wear off you're left with what's really what is the status of your Relationship and this is where it can get very tricky because if you're not Spending regular time together if you're not seeing each other on average of two to four days per week It's gonna be very difficult to build the roots to trust the roots to trust and if the roots of trust aren't built Excuse me. It's like a tree in a hurricane wind that doesn't have roots It's gonna blow over and one of the primary reasons why these roots aren't being developed is that you either don't share You don't share the same values you learn that you don't share the same values you don't have lifestyles that are really blendable and You're not with somebody who's emotionally mature in other words being able to be in a healthy happy relationship from an emotional mature place And what I mean by emotional maturity is their actions match their words They take personal responsibility for their choices. They're in victor consciousness and not victim consciousness They know how to do what I call fighting fair and what I mean to say is when there's disagreements in the relationship When there's disagreements, it's not about being right. It's about finding solutions. That's really fighting fair is learning How do we devolve? How do we come up with solutions instead of I'm right and you're wrong and you're wrong and I'm right kind of thing Number four is empathy and not just I care. I can feel your feelings It means not only I care about your feelings, but I also have empathy for myself Most people are suffering on the inside in some way shape or form of not feeling good enough feeling unlikable feeling unlovable and Lastly is transparency and so why okay, so now coming back to this thing You've gotten past that initial lust and limerence phase and limerence means infatuation and now you're left with the meat of the relationship and if there's The values aren't the same your lifestyles aren't very blendable and there's some issues with your emotional maturity people Approach the process very passively very slow very bread crummy like and again because today it feels like you know with this It's interesting. We have a sea of Available people and yet it feels like there's nobody. Isn't that amazing? We have a sea of people out there single looking for love and yet it feels like there's nobody So the minute you attach to someone you feel like you have to make this work In fact, I always say there's this belief that magic fairy dust will make an unhealthy relationship work So this is why I'm such a big proponent to vetting people before you ever even go on a date by asking the better Questions before you ever go on a date with somebody But the the sad part is is you've been indoctrinated in this belief that you shouldn't interview someone on a date That is the furthest thing from the truth It is an absolute interview process. In fact, I believe it should be an interrogation You know actually what I would prefer is I'm your big brother And you're ready to go on a date with a man and I've got my shotgun and I'm pointing at him And I'm going to do all the interrogation for you. Wouldn't that be great? Fact if you'd like that, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on that But I'm being quite serious. You have to almost be your own Detective if you will because the sad piece is You go out with someone you get through six weeks. It doesn't work out You go out with someone else. It has it lasts for three weeks. It doesn't work out You go out with someone else it lasts for six months. It doesn't work out that eventually Awares on our heart on our heart and it makes it very difficult to be open and receptive to the next person In fact, I was talking to a man who's follows me on my youtube channel And I'm so grateful for those men who are who support my youtube channel not with the trolling bullying that some men do But those that actually provide really good input and we got on the phone yesterday He lives in Atlanta, Georgia. He was watching one of my live streams and I said would you like to talk? I wanted to pick his brain and One of the things he said to me and he's 60 years old He said Jonathan I am it's so hard to date these days because I find most women are bitter Jaded and angry at men and it makes it very difficult to date women of my own age In fact, I'm starting to look for women 10 to 20 years younger those that have less that are less hurt less wounded And so and it's not surprising if we have all these Experiences that don't go anywhere. It's gonna wear on emotional self-esteem This is why I'm a big proponent of trying to date with what I call beginner's mind Beginner's mind and trying to be open and receptive to that person and try to eliminate that are our Voice in our head of our past experiences and that's not easy to do But I'm gonna say I don't like but and I want to say it's imperative that we approach it from a beginner's mind Because if not carrying that baggage forward is going to I mean is that any anger animosity bitterness jadedness? limiting beliefs around men or women is Not going to be healthy in the dating process because and I want to bring it back to bread crumbing right now It's not uncommon for people to go slow because they feel that maybe or which really is uncertainty Let me come back to what maybe really means is Uncertainty because the fantasy way people fall in love is that strong attraction and chemistry equals relationship success And the problem is as many people are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself This is why I'm such a big proponent of reading my book. Here's here's a copy of my book I didn't bring it out today. What the heck is self-love anyway? It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work By the way check out the link below to get my book or all the recommended books I have Because until we shore up our inner Being it's gonna be difficult to truly open up to another human being And take them and this is why we're experiencing So many men and women that are operating from this maybe uncertainty category Because they're not really being intentional in the dating process and it requires being intentional this passive way of dating Which is just have fun. Just sit back in your feminine energy and just have fun It's all gonna work out if you're just sitting back having fun sitting in there have feminine energy I say crock to that I say better start asking questions To see if they're compatible with you and then ask deeper questions to get to know one another instead of the surface level questions Most people are dating like an iceberg. They cover the surface level and they're not going to the deeper level By really getting to know another human being at a deeper level and most women are afraid to do this because you're afraid of scaring a guy away I'm here to say you want to scare the wrong guy away as soon as possible and a man who actually might be attracted to you And Phil will smitten by you is going to appreciate the deeper questions I get email after email after email from women telling me Jonathan I've introduced the book eight dates you talk about the book eight dates all the time I introduced the book the eight dates the man. I'm dating and he loves it It's a roadmap to help you define your relationship It should be on your nightstand you buy two copies and before you ever get intimate with a guy start introducing this work Look at nine out of ten men will reject it But let me tell you something those nine out of ten men aren't necessarily good to be in relationship with if they don't have Emotional maturity if your lifestyles aren't blendable and if your values aren't the same because Compatibility is the key to relationship success and not chemistry chemistry is the bonus and yes I want us all to feel chemistry along with shared values of blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity It's like a chair the four legs of a chair Okay, and yes, we do need chemistry, but chemistry alone is not the indicator of relationship success Okay, look, I'm babbling now, so I think it's a good time to wrap up I'd like to hear your thoughts on this video about bread crumbing. Please post it below If you that if you I'm really tongue-tied today if you value the content, please share it with it Please hit that like button and I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off In myself a big gigantic John the bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now