 Welcome to the 21 convention in Miami, Florida guys real treat here I've had the pleasure of knowing this guy on an acquaintance level for many years But then had the true pleasure to interview him that interviews actually on the 21 convention channel And it's an amazing thing, but not only that I've gotten to know his entire coaching staff and just amazing people clients amazing people Truly teaching us about ease, delight, love and beauty the founder of ours Amarata, Zan Perrion Let's have a talk Okay, I thought about I debated I thought about what I was going to talk about today Usually I just wing it I come over the opening sentence and I just like Start to wing it But I want to talk about a subject today And I'll try and explore it in various ways. So if I ramble a bit and jump around just just Bear with me and the something I want to talk about Which is strong on my mind and has been for many years is the concept and the idea of us Men being men in other words our sexual spirit and our masculine edge The mystique we have as men the the Beautiful God-given gift of our sexual desire which in the West Which we're all a product of is Anathema It's wrong. So I want to talk about that and I'm going to explore it and I'm going to think about things as I go that I've discovered over the years and And and see if we can see if we can come to some kind of It's an energetic thing. I'm going to talk about so I've always been interested in the kind of man who women adore and You know what I'm talking about you guys know somebody in college or something that you knew that he wasn't very tall I wasn't very good looking he had no money. He was kind of a slaw, but girls loved him he always had girls around him and I wanted to know what is the energy of that man compared to the rest of us who we're doing We're trying to analyze things and trying to analytically analytically figure things out Trying to say the right thing do the right thing to get girls and this guy just like oh just be yourself I Want to understand that and I spent my entire life trying to understand that man and that energy and Why did they have a vibration that the rest of us do not have and how can we have it for ourselves? Why do women? Why do women encounter him and the next day she can't stop thinking about him? She's daydreaming. She's in her office and she's playing with her pencil. She's looking out the window Thinking about that guy. That's the only thing. I think that is Has any merit and has any kind of what's the only subject I want to talk about and Truly, I think it's the only subject we need I really do It's only thing we need we're great. We're a great generation of nice guys We're charming. We learn how to talk. We're we're learning how to approach girls We're learning how to be where to go to take a girl in a date, but there's no Edgen us There's no lower energy These men have a vibration that moves down into the earth like this It's a lowered center of gravity and women can feel it and they're going like oh They might not even be attracted to him, but they go that guy So this is what I've this what I've been trying to understand all my life for myself And I wrote a book about it called the alabaster girl You guys all have a bookmark on your on your place in front of you and If and I'll send you a free copy. I'll sign and send it to you from Romania where I live If you go to the website alabastergirl.com I'll send you a copy. I'll sign it and send it to you Put your email in there or your mailing address your snail mail address and I'll send you a physical copy so the book I tried to write it took me 10 years to write it and I tried to capture in there what I've learned in my Years I'll say my story very quickly because I don't want to belabor this point In my I grew up in the in the wilderness of northern Canada. I Left home when I was 13 My education stopped at 13. I don't have any education beyond that except for self-education and So I went into the wilderness and I helped a mount man run his trap line I wore moccasins on my feet had a fur hat a you know a knife on my side and That was my background and I and I and I was that from 13 years old till 18 19 so my teenage years were not spent in a High school type situation Certainly not a college situation Where you learn your social graces you learn your the dynamic of men and women in that's your part of your social education I didn't get it. So I came out of there into the cities of the world and I liked girls More than anything in my life. I like girls crazy, I dedicated my life to that subject and So my 20s remember this I was my teens I was like in the wilderness my 20s I I I did everything I could to try and understand women and I tried and failed There is no story. I promise you this There's no story you have about being rejected or lost or confused or or or or Desiring somebody and they don't want you back that I don't have I have embarrassing stories for my 20s Massively embarrassing stories. I so I did my But I stayed I wanted to understand it. I want to understand women. I wanted so I spent my whole 20s Trying to understand the concept of female energy and and women and their relationship to me massively rejected across the board and And if something happened, I'd be like what happened. How did I get lucky on this? I had no clue. No clue Then about my 30s. I remember this is before Anything like the seduction community. This is I'm an old guy. I'm 52 So this is before the internet This before there's any kind of instruction or boot camps or workshops or books on the subject at all. There's nothing I Read the the memoirs of Casanova is all there was so So here I am in my my my 20s and I and I was like So insecure and so lost I would go to the bar by myself and I'm standard like that I'm not going to approach the girl. I was too ashamed and too afraid So I'd be like this and I'd kind of like lean on the bar till two o'clock in the morning when the bar closed hoping something would happen I was massively insecure And that was my 20s my 30s then I started to go I started to think because I did my my time I did my 10,000 hours. If you know the concept of that I did 10,000 hours trying to understand women I did nothing else. I've had no other hobbies in my entire life I want to know women like I play a bit of guitar, but that's because I like I want to meet girls I remember like I like the guys I was in vancouver and and and uh some of the guys who works at listen We're gonna go on we have this fishing boat. We're gonna go off the coast of vancouver island We're gonna cast nets into the sea and go out there for you know captain a have and In two weeks we're gonna go out there and like and and fight the elements and grow beards and yeah I want to do that. I want to do that. Yeah, I'm cut wait. Is there any girls out there? And I wouldn't go There's no girls. I'm not gonna go So that was So that was my whole background so my 30s is when this thing started But the synapses started to fire and I was like wait a minute You just said this to me girl and I heard this a hundred times before And it meant something you and I thought it meant this but I think it means this I started to get some understanding homegrown I had nobody to help me nobody So So I wrote a book in my 40s Took me from 40 to 50 years old All the bastard girl. It's everything I've ever learned Everything I've learned in all those years is in that book And it's like I something vomited out of my system. I had to get it out So read it and if you if you read it send me a message of you if if you read the comments and thoughts about it It's it's really it's my life work. Well my next book too But anyway So that's my truncated story Now then So this concept of men who get it Who move through the land of women with ease who women say oh, yeah, that's just him You have to date me three times to make sure that you're you're a good guy But him no he doesn't count You all know what i'm talking about, right? This guy's you just like have a free pass from women. That's as possible It's like women are on the stage and they're giving out all the all the prizes you get a prize and you don't It's like they're the ones in control Like and we don't know what's going on That's why we say that have the concept of getting lucky Because if we feel I don't know what happened Right. I don't this girl had sex with me. I don't I don't know why Right and a whole community developed around that why did that girl Or how to make that girl or to how to get this girl to blah Right And and you know when the community came along I mean like Neil Strauss wrote the book the game. I was way back in the day if you guys know anything about me at all I was back in the day. It was one of the original guys back then talking about it in anyway But I wrote the book I wrote this book. I'm not kidding guys. I wrote this book for me I wrote it for my young self if I had this when I was 18 19 If I had somebody to say you know what? It's gonna be okay And we didn't get it We didn't have a hero to look up to in our generation. We didn't have a father figure that said son This is how you hold an axe. This is how you this is how you work in a car and this is how you treat a woman We didn't get it We didn't get that our generation's generation has been failed as men This is why we're scratching our head. This is why we're afraid of the women because we we didn't get that We didn't get what we've always had in history, which is a rite of passage We've always had in all of cultures of all of history Every culture of the world has had a rite of passage From boys to men the sue Native americans had the vision quest and they would take a young man and there's a boy and they say go into the wilderness and speak your name And you go into the wilderness. He's naked and scared and he's like cold and afraid and he'd go out there for days Maybe weeks and he'd come back After finding his totem animal This is this is in a lot of cultures And then when he came back they would say Now you can stand with the men stand here the concept imagine this The concept of teenager Including the word teenager Did not exist before 1950 The word teenager is invented since 1950. There was no concept of teenager in all of history until now There was boys and men And we didn't get that our generation has been failed That's why you're experiencing what you're feeling Experiencing this this loss of connection with women loss of connection with the female spirit Loss of connection with your masculine edge and your sexual beauty We've been failed. Our society has let us down It's not your fault It's let us down and so That I wrote this book for that little boy who was lost and scared came out of the wilderness and liked the girls But was so massively rejected from girls And tried to be cool and tried to learn things tried to like be this guy tried to like get somebody to Like me and I was so insecure because I thought who would like me I didn't I didn't have an education. I didn't have like Who would want me? Everybody else has got this cool car and I had this feeling all these years and it's like What you learn is this gentlemen And I look at you guys and I and I see myself. I really do And here's what I'm gonna say to you There is nobody going to help you But you You look in the mirror and you this is what you do now you look in the mirror and say you suck You know you try to talk to the girl last night and she's like look you weren't funny enough and you suck. You're not good enough And that has got to change That story has got to change And it's a simple matter of choosing a gentleman All you have to do is this and because your father's not there to tell you it's going to be okay, son Here's how you be strong We have no heroes anymore our heroes are 18 year old rap stars. I want to be like that guy Who has no clue either? The celebrity culture So your whole thing from now on and and I mean this very sincerely Is it's up to you to look yourself In the mirror look yourself in the eye and say I've got you it's going to be okay You have to raise yourself because nobody's going to do it Nobody's going to do it for you The bible says you know when I was a child I spake as a child When I became a man I put away childish things And it's that critical and that deep and that Absolute that has to happen We're a generation of boys who are trying to date girls and we're a tinder swiping We're a generation of boys who used to play with playstation. We're boys We play playstation now, but now we're having fun. We're not having fun anymore You see And I'm saying it's strong and I hope you get it strong And I hope you feel the energy of what I'm saying because it's to me It's to myself I wish I would have had a message but there's no message for men. That's real This is fundamental that goes to the core of who we are as men Which is lost in this day and age An interesting thing happened in the last 30 years 30 years years. I don't know and that is this For all of history Men which I see here in the audience had the concept of duty He had the duty to your country duty to your family duty to your community Duty to your fellow man duty to your brothers You had the concept of duty. We had that in her soul in her system In our culture, right the concept of duty. It has been replaced today by the concept of rights I have the right to do this and I have the right to not have And we have this generation That has been protected with their little bike helmets Who grew up and are offended in our universities and offended by everything And we're little snowflakes Something's wrong Something has gone wrong We're this generation of like fragile beings who need protection We want everything to protect us because I might be offended the universities in the west Used to teach intellectual pursuits now instead of intellectual education. It's an emotional education Everything's dedicated to like teach them how to be offended and to take take offense And it's wrong I'll stand up and I'll say it and that's gentlemen Who we are and who you're dating You see Then what we're missing is our generation Is this conviction of men this desire to to Imagine this our sentences go up at the end We ask a girl we we say to a girl. Hey, listen, it was like It was nice talking to you. Would you like to go for coffee sometime? Oh, I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a boyfriend. I just I didn't mean anything by it I was we flinch We haven't we don't say statements anymore You I'm I'm not talking about anything practical, but here's something practical for you Stop saying questions to women Start shifting that into statements by that. I mean Imagine you said to this girl. It was nice talking to you. Would you like to get coffee sometime? That sounds like a great Thing of reaching out and talking to women, right? Sounds good, but if you change it into a statement Instead of saying hey, it was nice talking to you. Would you like to have coffee sometime? You say this It was nice talking to you. I would like to have coffee with you sometime Or we should have coffee sometime And we should go with Thursday night. What are you doing? Let's Cancel your plans if you change your little these queries into statements Subtly what happens in you is something shifts into an energetic leadership role And she can feel it statements instead of questions Hey, I would like to have coffee. It'd be great. That's a great way of saying it Make sense Little bit of like a micro adjustment Compared to the microaggressions and triggering that we have in our modern society Which you guys all know you're all aware of that Our convictions, you know, we don't draw the line in the sand anymore We say listen to to women or to men or to anything thus far. Shall thou go and no further We're a generation of beige asexual men We're closet heterosexuals Right Time to come out of the closet And I'll tell you like I'm coming out here strong guys because you know what? It's the fight of your lives I hope you feel the energy of because it is that important. It is the fight of your lives We say we want change, but we don't really Right you say you want a girlfriend. No, you don't really Because you know why it's easier To complain to yourself and say i'm not good enough then it is to go out there and actually meet women There's entire programs and and and And webinars and seminars devoted to this concept of approach anxiety or the fear of rejection I have the fear of rejection. I don't want to talk about the fear of rejection because what if she She's a boyfriend, right? The fear of rejection, but you know what is even stronger? I think for men In this generation the fear of success Because what if she likes you What if you went up there and she's you said hey, uh, like you look you're pretty and I like you What if she likes you now? You have to be interesting and dynamic and stop playing world of warcraft on the weekends and hang out with a girl So will you sabotage yourself? All right. I don't do that. So like the fear of success is just as strong or maybe more strong than the fear of failure Because you're used to your security blanket That's cold and moldy and wet and holding you down But you're used to it To throw it off is scary. It's scary. Your comfort zone is is You see We're afraid of that fear of success It's that important is the fight of your lives. I went to panama when I was writing this book I went there for four months to sit in the jungle and work on my book sat in the same shorts and T-shirt for like four months sweating my everything off And I came out of there from the people who are who are who are have Very little anything But they're happy people and I went into Amsterdam to do a major seminar for after four months in the jungle. I went there And all I could think the whole time is Was This me centric generation Reality tv self help multi-billion dollar industry What do you do for me? This is the women of the world. What do you do for me? Where are we going to be in five years? What does this mean? What it's all me where it's navel gazing. We're centered on ourselves There's no sense of communion with brothers and sisters. There's no communion anymore at all Even though we think we're on facebook and We're not there's no sense of connection And you can feel it you feel it everywhere. There's no sense of gathering and and and brothers and arms and any of this kind of stuff and Me centric generation it's We're overladen with the If you watch a lot of porn, which probably a lot of guys and audience do you turn it off at the end And what do you see reflected in the screen? you Just you And that hurts That hurts you feel it right here. It's just you there. That's it This is where our failing is This is my crusade So I wrote a book for my young self so I could so if I only had those answers then when I was being insecure And not sincere and manipulative and trying to be this cool guy only I had this So The question to ask yourself gentlemen a big question a fundamental question, which is the question of my next book Is this What exists because of you? The thought uh what a thought What exists do you feel the energy of that? Everything else is small Girl doesn't text you back that's small What exists because of you? So my whole Thing that I've been trying to understand and trying to talk about is the polarity Which we've lost in this world of men Being men women being women The masculine edge of the masculine spirit of men is a thrusting nature. It's a penetrative energy We can't penetrate our women. We can't penetrate our lives. We can't penetrate our businesses. We can't we're like Oh, we're apologetic. It's okay. It's good enough. We're beige We can't penetrate anymore And I'll say this is politically incorrect And I'll get slammed for it and I don't care The energy of women is a receiving energy to receive that penetration to receive that masculine energy into the feminine spirit And to rebirth it to give it rebirth The true feminine spirit which is gone from the earth just like the true masculine spirit is gone from the earth The true feminine spirit Is a regenerative life-giving energy And if you have and I know you have if you've ever been in the presence of a woman that has Just even 10 of that beautiful feminine grace You'll never forget her till the day you die. Am I right? Some woman that was just kind and gave you of her generous Feminine spirit Breaks your heart It breaks your heart If you make love To a beautiful woman That is way out of your league quote unquote Who's a beautiful generous energy of of receiving your masculine spirit and giving you the rebirth That we crave if you're in bed with that woman and she gives you that energy You almost cry it breaks your heart and it's rare As a tiger lily. It's rare It's a rare spirit When you make love to a beautiful woman Imagine this guys All is forgiven All the rejections you had all the mistakes you made talking to women all the the mess ups you made when you thought It's all forgiven everything's forgiven You reset That's Like I said, it's politically incorrect. I'll say it You know like if I worked at a if I was a professor, I'd lose my tenure if I was working in Meteor something I'd lose my job. I can't I can't so I'll say it This is the receiving role of women And there's countless women out there trying to restore that balance to believe me You hear all the this strong feminist Bitchy agenda you hear this all the strong men beating their chest painting their faces take back the power from women That's 20 of the voices guys 80 percent is the silent majority who of men and women who really want restoration want want to want a beautiful balance again Of polarity of men and women of this beautiful magnetic energy that attracts We don't have that we have sameness We are all born under this so-called second wave equality movement And the goal of the equality movement was equality And we didn't get it 60 years later. We still don't have equality. We have sameness Men are more like women women are more like men And there's no attraction in that at all We go to our offices and you have to be eyes front if you comment. Hey, I like you. Hey, you look nice today sexual harassment You can't even say that you offended me And I have protection powers to just to to take a dump on you because of that Right So we have to be asexual underneath the fluorescent lights in our offices asexual eyes front everyone's Everyone has no gender and then you're supposed to turn it on in the weekend when you go out There you go. That's our problem You can't um And then I hear a guy say to me this well women are mean They're not nice Yeah, well women have their own work to do gentlemen We can't wait for them It's up to you It's up to you to stand on this earth and say, you know what no more I want I want to have a great pathway I want to have a spirit of adventure spirit of treasure hunting spirit of mystery spirit of like I like nice things you look like a nice thing. What's your name? Women are mean and they're rejecting and they're the ones in power And they're the ones that pick like you, but I don't like these guys We seemingly think but women are not to blame Women are just as women are no more enlightened or aware or aware than you are They're just as lost and confused and scratching their head too It's what it's what we're this is our modern age And it's time for a generation of men to say no more Let's let's stand on this earth not in a fight against women not in a fight against this energy But in a reclamation of the beautiful God-given gift of masculine sexuality In our western world If you're a man You're this close to being a rapist and and and we need to on college campuses and in universities and in organizations Programs to teach you how not to rape That's a sin That's a sin Fight it with every of god because that's a sin. That's wrong If you go near a playground you're a pedophile That's you you pedophiles I can see pedophile eyes here everywhere. You see that that's wrong I don't buy it. I'll fight against it. I don't care who says anything about me. I don't care It's the fight of our lives But it's not a fight against women remember that Women are lost to women have been sold a bill of goods to women have been Taught the wrong things It's not a fight against that as a fight against it's a fight for a new spirit of regeneration Is men and women and the polarity which is a beautiful thing today? We're all gender fluid I identify that's okay I talk in absolutes I talk about men being men women being women and there's other people who identify with different things That's okay. I don't talk about that I'm talking about extremes and I am I'm extreme And I get blasted by feminists. They well, I don't care I'll say it anyway Because they know No, because I know that there's a volume and I tell you this guys you've been with bad women Who've been mean to you who've been vindictive? and bitchy and and petty and And small-minded and all these things just like this vindictive bitchy petty small-minded men And all the years and all my time I've ever met women who are like mean not good spirited women not nice people I met a lot of women who have good who have gracious hearts and there's a lot of them out there To believe it don't lose hope because I don't lose hope And then guys say to me well Because I've been saying I wrote my book and said, you know what head toward the light and only light I don't talk about like social. I'm talking about tonight I don't talk about social conditions and what's happening in the world today and politics and stuff that Because I want to focus on the light What's beautiful? What is beauty? This book is if somebody said to me in elevator what's your book about one word? I'm not kidding. I would say it's about beauty We're missing beauty in art in architecture In everything we've lost the aesthetic thing which we used to have from the greeks and the romans of the golden rectangle And everything had to be everything had to be in proportion and and beauty was one of the elements with truth In everything else that was revered And not today and everything's all like art is a cow cutting sections And an art is taking a shit in a can that's art Right, we've lost it's true We've lost aesthetic beauty and and in my missions there is to speak to reclaim that so so um That's your mission too. That's what i'm trying to say to you I hope you can get this I hope you can feel the energy of what i'm trying to say because it's up to you And if you can take this mission into your heart To speak truth to women say you know what? I like this is how it is This is why i'm nervous to talk to you, but i want to talk to you anyway Your life will change and the world will change We're waiting for things for women to be nice to us waiting for things to change and be better. It's not going to happen It's up to you This is for you guys. This is for you. Do you feel it? It's for you It's for my young self my name is 19 and lost and crying for girls This is for you. It's for you absolutely for you for you We say well i can't live a life of adventure and because like Because i have to first do that In all of history gentlemen We said okay. We have i had this bad childhood So like this is why i'm insecure and and have this bad childhood in all of history Was there any ever a time of good childhoods? There was disease and pestilence and migration and and wars and famine Every child before you grew up seeing destruction and death and disease and trouble and famine starvation Getting thrust out of homes and we're whining There has never been happy children happy childhoods ever There's been trauma in all childhoods and we have to resolve our childhood I don't think so You have to go to therapy to resolve your childhood. No you don't You're abused you're abandoned you were We all were gentlemen in all of history We stand on your earth and say no more no more. It's your job. Nobody's going to do it. Nobody's going to give you that lift up Here's what you do. You look in the mirror instead of saying you suck You're not good for anything. Nobody will ever love you You look in the mirror and you say this Say this is this is your new thing that you call yourself from now on I'm a student of life If you can call yourself a student of life from this day forward to the day you die You can do no wrong If you talked to a girl last night, she's like And you go home and instead of saying you know what you suck. You should have been more funny You should have been more you can say hey At least I'm a student of life Were you sincere when you talked to that girl last night? Were your heart sincere? Were you trying to be nice and trying to be interesting and trying to be funny, right? You were sincere And she's being shutting you down and being bitchy to you You can go home say at least I'm a student of life at least I showed up now If you're sincere, you can you can do no wrong you have no You did know you did nothing to to beat yourself up about You showed up you showed up as a man at least I like nice girls and trying to see if you're a nice girl I get it that you're not That's okay, too I will move my energy somewhere else We want security, you know like before I This generation I get guys ask me all the time. How do I like, you know, I want to live a life of adventure and and go into this world But first I have to save up all this money and have to like where you imagine this 200 years ago 300 years ago 400 years ago 500 years ago guys are going into wooden ships There was no medical insurance They didn't have savings Going into into the into whatever They didn't have the backup plan. They didn't have plan b. They didn't have like, uh, okay At least I can go to an atm get some cash out of my parents and call my parents If I get in trouble strong guys I hope you can feel what I'm trying to say because I wish I had it It's a message to me. I promise you that This is why women have no women will have sex with you Because they're horny or use any smell nice and there's nobody else and she's She's ovulating She'll have sex with you But she doesn't think is she thinking about you the next day The question I asked myself when I was young I thought this popped into my mind and it shocked me and it broke my heart and made And made me cry Which is this Every there's only one woman here. Hello there. Sorry There's only one woman here, but I'll say this Every woman Is thinking about somebody Imagine that My question asked myself when I was young I looked in the mirror and I said because it hit me hard and said wait a minute. Have you ever been a woman's fantasy? If not, why not? She's thinking about somebody When she's in the shower, she's in her bed. She's daydreaming out the way she's and she's she's excited about Somebody she's thinking about she's fantasizing about some guy Is it is it? I said this to me. Is it you? Has it ever been you? Ask yourself that question. Is there a woman out there in this world right now who's fantasizing about you as she's laying in bed? She's having a sexual fantasy about you If not, why not? Because they're thinking about somebody This is the energy we have to fight for this is where we're going and this is the only place to go And I believe in it a hundred percent And I believe in it for you a hundred percent I really do Security, you know, we want this like we have one assurances if you want security go out here in miami and kill somebody You'll have maximum security You'll have every meal covered you'll you'll be you Right you have security you want security there you go Tennessee williams said a security is a kind of death If you have this and if you have the impulse and the energy and the thought process and the gut is saying I can't do this job anymore. I have to go and fight for something else You have to follow with all your heart no matter you Don't worry about money money will follow you Don't wait for the wait to have savings that'll find if you go it's going to find you You think well if I like if I go out and follow my dreams I'll be living under a bridge and sleeping in a cardboard box and pushing a shopping cart But I tell you this The guy told us to me like years ago and it's true Nobody who's living under a bridge pushing in a shopping cart and sleeping in a cardboard box Is there because he followed his dreams Nobody I saw an interview with uh, morgan freeman And he said when I was a morgan freeman a revered actor An actor's actor And when he was young He said, you know what the acting wasn't working and I tried and I couldn't get any jobs And I was so broke and so hungry he was living in my car And I said I have to quit acting But he said I kept going I kept going kept going and he said the lesson I learned Because I kept going it was this If you keep going if you take he said this if you step your foot into nothing Your foot will always hit Something and he said this which is remarkable. Remember what I'm about to say. He said this What I learned is if you Continue with beyond the point of of hope and beyond the point of Redemption beyond the point of any possibility of of continuance if you keep going Whatever it is Somebody will come into your life and give you the next step Not something somebody will arrive in your life Give you the next step it always that's the way it works The way it works Absolutely it works that way So like I'll say this I'll take questions at the end, but I got 30 minutes left I know I'm I'm I'm talking very philosophical, but I hope you guys get the energy in the in the and I hope you can feel what I'm trying to say because I I mean with all my heart I really do There's nothing else you need to know There's nothing else you need to know All the techniques and all this like talk to this girl and stand with your shoulders like this and like go like this and none of it matters If you're heading into The size of your life, you know the size of your problems is the size of your life imagine that If your problem is how do I get this girl to text me back? Well, what do I do? Or how do I pay my phone bill? That's as large as your life is going to get If your problem is how do I get some clean water to this the village in Africa? That's a lot your life is a lot bigger Things like the girl not texting back and your phone bill that doesn't matter take care of itself The size of your problems the size of your life so I'll say a little bit of a metaphor and I hope you guys get it because What I tried to capture in here and it's so powerful I tried to write about the energy of men who women adore They get a free pass I tried to write about what it is. What do they have? What is the qualities that they have? What is the spirit that they have? And you know if you if you if you if you start from here, which is a center of gravity as a man here I don't anything about chakras, but if you do imagine your Center whatever chest heart chakra You start from an energy force from here as a man, okay? This is this is incredibly important. You start from here like this Your energy as a man moves out into the world from here and it goes up and out It goes like this And it's a beautiful masculine energy. This is you being charming being humorous being inviting being gracious This is you saying would you like some more wine? This is you saying, hey, can I get your coat for you? This is you telling a joke and this is you. Hey guys, nice to meet you. This is a great beautiful upper energy masculine beauty charm empathy sympathy Humor all these beautiful qualities of man Comes from here and moves out into the world imagine you're on a job interview Everything about you is high You're sitting across the table from the interview. Yes, I did this and even your eye contact is high You can feel it, right? You're like lifting you're you're straight up as an arrow like this And you're like yes, and yeah, and now I did this and yeah, and you're everything is high energy It's a beautiful energy. It's a beautiful masculine energy And it's needed Okay Now imagine from the same center of gravity here. You're sent your same heart Or originating place There's an equal counter balancing energy that is necessary to be a man This is an energy that goes down and out into the world It's low on the floor If you vibrates has a vibration Everything's about is lower Your voice is lower. Everything's lower This is your sexual desire Which in the west is a bad thing toxic You rapist right This is you wanting to bend the world over. This is you seeing a heart shaped asset. I like this I like that That's your it's and I tell you this it's It's given to you by god you fail God women men society everything when you like Block off that energy which we all do Our western society has been taught Your eyes front respectful Don't have any kind of the sexual energy at all and it's wrong It's wrong Your sexual energy that moves on to the it's like it's kind of like bass that flows on the floor boom Boom boom and women can feel it they can feel it when they're an energy of an energy of a man Who has that sexual vibration that floats on the floor? But here's the key And here's the key you need both Both energies If you're only this upper energy guy, which all the dating advice out there All the mainstream media how to be more humorous how to take toast masters how to be tell a joke How to be more tell story storytelling how to be more interesting how to be a wetter girl Take a girl on a date is all all of the instruction for men Is how to be more of this nice guy upper energy If you're only upper energy when you say to a girl, hey, I like you would like to go for coffee And she says I have a boyfriend your top heavy and you fall over You flinch. Oh, I didn't mean anything about it. You didn't mean anything by it He didn't you I have a boyfriend. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know he had a boyfriend. You're sorry because he had a boyfriend Okay, okay, I respect that and I'm doing my job as a man So this upper energy is what's being taught. This is why we have a generation of nice guys you're either In your basement suite playing world of warcraft not going out and meeting girls or you're being taught upper energy things which are good things But if they don't have the counterbalance of that beautiful lower thrusting energy That's spanking energy if you don't have that Then you're a nice guy Women are dating nice guys and and men are learning. Okay. How to go down on a woman How to her anatomy the reading all these books and programs and like how to please the woman How to massage you with right oils and candles for the right They're pleasing women Women say I want that guy. Yeah, sign me up. No, you don't you don't want that guy Guy goes down to you for 45 minutes. You could get yourself off in two minutes with your fingers But it's nice it feels good. That's cool But you have no there's nothing in him that makes you think this guy's incredible you see Nothing in us that makes women say wow, I can't stop thinking about that guy. He's never That's what's missing So and if you're only lower energy You're a creep If you don't have it balanced if you're the sexual guy Look at a women's boobs and you don't have a balance with charm and humor and empathy and kindness and full respect You're a creep But if you have both our generation has only upper energy. There you go. That's what we have Welcome to my history Only upper energy so afraid to show that we have this sexual desire to which is like I said given by God So afraid to show it and society you can't say it. Oh, no, that's bad right Is this landing with you guys? Make sense. This is why we're here. It's why we have this problem in our lives Which we're trying to sort this thing out. It's why women are going. Where's the real men? Every country I go in the world the women are saying where are the real men Women are doing both roles. They're being the man and the woman because the man are not showing up Woody Allen said Woody Allen said this This 80% of success is just showing up And we're not doing that. Yeah, I'm not kidding Like we have pickup artists guys out there saying listen, they take you out and you pay me money And I'll take you out. I'll send you to 25 different sets Okay, at the end of the night you think this is incredible I had like 19 rejections and six girls smiled and three girls smiled at me and two gave me the phone number. It's incredible Whatever you taught me works incredibly We think that's incredible. That's powerful But you know what he did he took you out of your basement suite And he fired you into the land of women for the first time maybe in your life If you did it yourself You went out there and said I'm going to talk to 25 girls tonight. What's today? Saturday Friday he went out tonight and said I'm going to go up to 25 girls and say hi. I'm zen. That's all I know And you look cute. I don't want to say hi. You did it 25 times. You're going to get 19 girls say Flick flick lint right you're going to get that But you're also going to girls go. Oh, that's nice to meet you and it's going to get girls say why I like you It's the way it works But we don't do it because we think we're not good enough Showing up that's it It's if you went up and women have told me this over the years If we're going to have to women say listen, I'm really nervous to talk to you because you're beautiful to me But I want to say hi What's your name? You know how many women have told me that's endearing to me They don't care if you're nervous They care if you have a hidden agenda you're trying to be cool They don't care about an agenda. They care about a hidden agenda You see So there's upper and lower energy guys Does that make sense? It's like it's like a tree that has foliage and birds and flowers And it's a great masculine energy and you need to learn more of that. That's good. Toastmasters Learn how to be more funnies of that But if it isn't counterbalanced with the roots that go down Low which is your your dark forest your mystique Your desire to bend the world over If women can't feel that from you if if women can't feel listen You're cute and your girlfriend's cute and I like you And we're like to know your names and we like to meet you again And if you come near me, I'm going to bend you over that's true and you're going to like it if they can't feel that You're a nice guy They need to feel that energy that they need to feel I'll say this and it's not politically correct This one camera is true, but take the context of what I'm saying the whole thing if they can't feel your danger The dangerous part of you They'll let you go down on them They'll date you But they don't last after you do you understand what I'm saying They don't think about you like speaking Chinese when you're In their head And that's the only place to go So all the things like we say well, listen, I'm going to talk to this girl and I'm going to say this I'm going to put my shoulders like this and then I'm going to turn the way like this and I'll go back All that is is a is an approximation of like a real man saying you know what I'm nervous But I want to come say hi to you and what's your name? What's your friend's name? And I like you and I don't know why We compliment a girl in her eyes. How are you or her hair? Oh, you have this beautiful blah, blah, blah, blah This nice guy right right and then we learn you can't do that. You can't compliment because it's too needy So we stopped doing that And so we started like knocking them down a bit Right I compliment highly But you know what I compliment women on and it's the truth because it's the truth of what I see I don't compliment on her eyes. She's heard it all her life or Her hair or whatever I said Because what I'm attracted to is the energy of a woman and the way she moves She's wearing a dress in the way that dress moves around her body And I compliment that if you guys want to change your relationship with women Compliment her energy. So you know what? I'm gonna say this to you. I don't know who you are I'm zan you have a great. There's something about you. I was over there with my friends I had to come over and say hi to you because something about your energy is something about your aura. It's incredible She's never been complimented on that before And that's what it is that's attracted to you or attracted to you um I'll say this last thing and then I can take a couple questions. I got a few minutes I said I started out my life to try and understand the energy of men Who women adore Men who have women in their lives all the time women take care of them. They just they love them, right? You know what it is the number one? Well, it's complex, but I'll I'll try and some into a little simple thing The men of all of history Who have women in their lives who love them and take care of them have two qualities Count to balancing remember upper law and energy. I talked about They have this They're simultaneously to women a father figure That says don't cross this line. I like you. Don't do this. I don't like that. I like you, but I don't like your behavior Imagine that what a phrase to say What a phrase to say to a beautiful beautiful woman, you know, I'm gonna say this to you I like you and I don't like this behavior. I don't like it, but I like you powerful So there's a father figure that says to put her in her place Don't cross this line because I have this is the way I want it to be my dear. It's kind It's gentle. It's invitational. It's sweet. You're not think I don't like this when you blah blah blah blah It's none of that kind of energy. It's like listen. Listen, baby. Listen. I like you. I don't like this behavior. Don't do it again Look at my eyes. Don't do it again That father figure saying no, don't do it. No, I don't like it Powerful men that have women in lives have that spirit at the same time They have the spirit of these little boys who are lost And they're and and it calls to the life giving mother Essence of women which they have I don't care what modern society and media says they have it In other words, there's a little boy caught in the cookie jar like this and mother walks in And he's standing on the stool like this And she goes, what are you doing? and he goes Okay, well, you're so cute. You can have a cookie In other words, the strongest men with women are men who say don't cross this line. I don't like it I don't like that behavior And there's simultaneously little boys who are like needing help and and they can't Adjust their color and women have to wash behind their ears and like If you if you're only this cool guy who's got a hundred percent figured out and you don't give the women The chance the woman in your life the relationship your life to take care of you and like To inspire you and to be to be that woman for you You rob her of everything She wants to take care of you too And that's why women in relationship will start drama and start fights and start poking at the guy because There's no energy this like you just like this flat line guy So they try and cause a drama or cause a fight or cause some kind of like trouble because of that So this is the the conclusion that I've ever come in my life. I've never heard anybody in my life say it Men who love women are loved by women. That's the way it works They get a free pass Now this If you're the the man of all of history who have women who just like oh, that's just him He gets away with it. You have to prove something to me. No, that's just him. He's on our side He's on our side. You guys know what I'm talking about There's a man who get a free pass. Well, what? It's because they have this strong father figure engine. Don't don't here's here's how I want it to be Baby, I want you to be like this and that's what I want it to be and that will not bend on that Instead of following her around We hear about this leadership energy guys are guys are being taught this If you want to do something you tell the girl. I want to do this. I want I choose this movie but There's no point in that With my girlfriend I say hey, baby. Listen, let's go to a movie today. Why would you like did you have a preference? Because I don't care and if right and if she says, um You know, I don't I'm not sure this one then I decide. Okay. Okay. I'll decide let's go So this is still a give and take is still an energy of that You see I'm not I'm not gonna demanding my way or the highway. No, no, no, not at all I love my girl. You want to do this? Okay, baby. Let's go. I'll go I'll go with you because I like you and I want to do it So that's that's strong leadership energy says no, don't cry, but if she crosses the line I don't like it, baby. Listen. Don't listen to me. Listen to my voice. Look at my eyes. I don't like it I like you but don't do this I don't want it in my life. I don't want this energy around me. Don't do it You see at the same time If you give that I'm emphasizing this point. I know if you give her the ability to Take care of you and her mother instinct comes out There's something called the warrior's repose Imagine this an Aztec warrior out there fighting battles Fighting warriors fighting other warriors and fighting and going a battle Which we use you have this spirit of like going out there and he comes back into the tent with his woman And he crawls into her lap like a cat This fears warrior And he puts his head on her lap and she's stroking his hair and says it's gonna be okay That's what we're missing That's what we're craving from women The warriors repose you go out there and you fight battles and you fight your warrior And you come back and she has the the grace and the feminine energy To rebirth you and say it's going to be okay. We want that and we're missing it across the board Modern women saying well, what do you can do for me and uh, what do you do for living? And modern men like It's all broken But take hard because it's going to change it's going to change I feel it's going to change I talk and you know all over the world I talk to different groups And uh, it can't sustain it's going to change Anyway, I talked a lot. I got a few minutes left for any questions He's got questions for zan Hi girls in the back Hello Hey, uh, really great talk. I especially love the end piece about the warriors and poets And I was just hoping that you could speak towards uh So I'm someone when I first meet someone I have a lot of like a wide range of interests and ways in which I can act authentically And can you explain like how you transition from the warrior to the poet when you're just meeting someone? So it doesn't come off as you're being incongruent with yourself totally if that makes sense Yeah, kind of I think um I don't know like It's a simultaneous thing If you feel the energies of both that whatever you're talking about the poet in the in the warrior And you express it to her that's powerful That's a powerful thing like I'm a big advocate of speaking your truth whatever's going on in the moment I really I believe it if you like a girl if I like you I'll say I like you I don't know why but I like you if I wonder my bad. I want you in my bed. That's what I know Hello, what's your name? I usually be a great lover for me. I say it So so to speak that what you're talking about Is uh, there is no transition is what I'm trying to say You're simultaneously both And you forgive yourself everything all seeming mistakes And I think that's a that's a powerful takeaway. I hope you guys get you forgive yourself every seeming mistake Because we think we're not good enough, but we're more than good enough And I'm not kidding about that guys I am not kidding about that. I hope you Hope you get that. I hope you really receive that Any other questions? I I No I got I got some questions um So you have always been known about talking about ease and delight Yeah, how would you put that In a nutshell how does one live a life of ease and delight? You know what I tell you this I guess it goes back maybe to the Stoics Who talked about No goes back to the book of Ecclesiastes There's nothing new under the sun All is vanity says the preacher King Solomon went out and found he had 500 conch concubines and 300 wives He had a riches above all the riches. He had wisdom above wisdom And he writes the book the Ecclesiastes which is I sought all of this in this world And all is vanity by that it means None of it matters The sun rises on the rich and the poor the good and the bad Imagine this Mark Twain said this When you die They memorialize you for an hour And forget you forever When you die everything all your possessions Are going to disappear like the wind And here's the truth nobody's going to remember you That's the truth What a shocking thought When I look at it like I'm from Canada so I grew up in the wilderness with no sense of history of no old buildings The people in Europe have all this like history that they grew up in and they take it for granted And that you know when I see a portrait I see a photo Of a woman from 1880 She's smiling like this with a glass of wine looking at Black and white photo of this woman. I'm thinking she's young and pretty she's probably 21 years old And she's 100 forgotten today Gone And that shocks my mind. How is that possible that all she all she dreamed and all she loved and everything she tried to And she tried to create things and stuff like that And it's all gone and forgotten In other words, whatever you're trying whatever you're in your head about whatever you're like trying to micromanage It means nothing It absolutely means nothing This is it It's your last life. This is it. We're waiting for something else to happen. We're waiting for women to be nice finally. It's not going to happen We're waiting If not now then when? That was from a greek philosopher. If not now then when? Ask us of that if not now then when well when I save up some money when I If not now then when? There's this is I'm telling you guys. This is a call to leadership. There's a fight of your lives There's no more time When I came out of nicaragua My concept was this and I wrote this phrase. It's in my book and you're gonna see it in my book because it it affected me greatly It's this every great life Has had a great renunciation Every great light. I'll say that again Every great life has had a great renunciation Where this self-help generation everybody here has got self-help books sitting on their shelf You've got programs you've signed up to To try and understand something by yourself And it's not Necessary to read the book It's enough that I bought it and sitting on the shelf. I got the answer right there. Yeah Right we buy these books. We don't read them because uh, but there's the answer right there And when we read that book we read the next one reading next one We go to the next program with the next weekend conference. We go all these conferences. We do all this kind of stuff Chasing that But I'm telling you that is not enough To that is not enough I said it earlier if you if it's going to take everything you've got and more If you want to have a life if you want women to look at you like who's this guy Go into the wind and speak your name. Like I said earlier Go climb a mountain and mountain and don't tell the soul that you did it Go into the world and hang around your heroes Go seek them out say well. I wanted to learn something. I want to fight for something. I want to That's where you go. That's what that's the power. It's that important Every great life has had a great renunciation. What does that mean renunciation to renounce things in your life that keep you small That means your parents expectations The college education while I took this education. I should continue with computer science. Even though I don't like it Renounce it all renounce anything that keeps you small. That's not a politically correct thing to say But I mean it with all with everything Another question got another five minutes. Yes, what would you say to The audience who's not used to hearing this message because of the generation they've grown up in And maybe the first response is to what the hell is this guy a rejection of this What my opinion is a very strong And a message I agree with what would you say as these as we leave That they could if I may renew their mind Yeah, this message and well, I'll say this because many would say it's too big. I don't even know where to start Yeah, yeah Okay, because I want to because this is important Because I want I want guys to know that they're sitting in the sea here. They're going back to Pumphandle, Iowa or wherever they live Where there's no girls, right And there's no and there's no and you work in your your father's accounting firm And I don't want to say hey you can be all you can be Just be yourself, which is like that's the same as saying hey just follow a budget means nothing to us We all know what it conceptually means. We can't do it Just be yourself. What kind of advice is that? Uh be unattached unattached to the outcome. How can you be unattached to the outcome of this beautiful girl when you're horny? You can't How can you be unattached to that is like are you something you want love you want somebody to touch you You want some of that comfort human comfort. How can you be unattached to the eye? That's artificial So all these these trite sayings They mean nothing we post on facebook Right you make it like a little image and posted it as a quote means nothing So your question is very strong and very powerful And all I can say is this Awareness is curative Just by becoming aware that if I knew this guys when I was young When I was trying to figure it out when I was so lost and lonely Awareness is curative awareness has the answer in it Just by being Knowledgeable that maybe there's a better path for you Will cure you You don't know your next step. I get that You don't know what you want. I get that too You don't know how you want yourself to be that that's okay, too But just to know I mean you're hearing the other speakers here like guys like brian who you know There's there's there's pathfinders out there who marked the trees for you And and fought some to fought through the elements and you know Chase the grizzly bear away. You could follow the path a bit, which is great. I had no man. I had no I had no Buddy to say anything to me when I was young I it's a deficit I had I didn't have a father figure Didn't have a hero to look up to And if you can get any kind of like traction or any kind by reading this book or listen to guys like brian Or the other speakers who've who've beaten some down some of the trees and paths before you man You can accelerate it took me 10 years of confusion from 19 to 29 Then 10 years of like, huh, huh, huh from 29 to 39 And then 10 years of writing and trying to write it down from and refine it from 39 to 49 If you can get any kind of um Jump start and I wish I would have had it. That's why I believe in everything I'm saying I believe in I believe I wish I had it when I was young. I don't have to answer your question, but I guess what I'm trying to say is The question is like in this generation that we don't believe it for ourselves. You you might believe it, but others might not I believe it for you I really do Know and it needs to be it needs to be taught in schools this Yeah Yeah And maybe it's confusing. I don't know. Maybe I'm confusing you guys maybe But you know what I'll tell you this and I'll say it quickly I spent my 20s. I'm not kidding to learn how to be a seducer of women This is on film, but I'll say it anyway And I was good I could talk a woman in the bed give me a glass of wine and a woman for an hour She might be married or have a boyfriend and it's not going to happen, but I can make her go I know how to talk to women I spent my my days. I said I'm I'm this lost little boy I'm going to figure out how to be this great lover of women. I'm gonna be the greatest lover woman's ever known I'm gonna be the greatest seducer of women. I'm going to learn how to seduce women And I headed down that path To the point where I could talk to women and I know what she's thinking I could say the next thing I could adjust things around what I wanted my worldview to be And what you learn over the years Is the greatest essence of seduction and the greatest Attraction quotient you have is be authentic And simplicity to me is incredible these days I don't weave words. I'm I'm I wrote a book I'm a wordsmith. I love words and my book's very poetic. I like this kind of like But I don't weave words when I talk to women I say it simply I lay it down everything I say to a woman is like it's like a tennis ball. I hit on her side of the court boom You can do whatever you want with a deer I say to go I like you. I want to see you again. That's all I know She can pick up the ball and walk off the court. She can take off. She can hit it back Whatever it is. It doesn't matter. I did my job as a man. I showed up So for me, it's all It's like did I do my job as a man? That's why I can't get rejected Not possible if I say to her girl, listen, I like you and and your friend's cute and what's your name? And she goes like like this At least I did my job as a man. I showed up in the world. Hey I'm good If I if you compliment a woman say hey, there's something you look beautiful to me and your friend is beautiful It's up to her now. The ball is in her court What here's the thing about compliments Compliments and this is why they're so bad Can't compliment a beautiful woman. She's heard all her life Is because compliments have nothing to do with her and everything to do with you So I say to this girl. Hey, uh, you have such beautiful eyes. Can I buy you a drink? Oh, you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful. That has nothing to do with her at all It's like me trying to say something and buy her drinks. So she likes me in other words my compliment He's saying I'm gonna say this to you and I hope you like me back. I hope you like me And a man who likes beautiful things in this world will say to this beautiful girl You know what? I'm saying this to you You are a true beauty and I like the way you look and I want to say that and it lands and you leave it so I don't know. I don't know if I went on a rabbit trail there or what I think I'm I got 30 seconds left All right guys Welcome back to the 21 convention of Orlando, Florida 10 year anniversary special event Our next speaker is an alumni speaker returning for now his second time to the 21 convention stage He first spoke last year on Miami, Florida again at the 21 convention main event When people asked me about this next speaker, there's one thing I repeatedly say Which sounds kind of odd, but I mean it. So I keep saying it again and again and again At 29 years old, I think I've met more dating coaches and Coaches in that area of life Then anyone else alive who's my age or younger I've met literally hundreds And there's only one man in the world who I when I'm physically around him I feel my game is like literally better noticeably better I don't mean like more confident or anything simplistic like that Like I actually can communicate with women better being within 50 feet of the guy Like uh like an r or something which again sounds like Kind of odd or spiritual woo-woo, but I mean it This guy his love of women and of beauty Is intense and real and you feel it being around them whether it's here in this room We're out and about at Whole Foods Miami. We're hanging out and shit Anyway, without further ado, please help me welcome for a second time to the stage Zamperion Welcome back. Thank you brother Wow That's very kind I've been speaking a lot over the years 15 years and I thought for the last couple of days, what am I talking about? Um And I'm kind of at a loss strangely enough That's you know because like in my 20s You maybe you guys know my story. Maybe don't I won't go into it now But in my 20s, I was completely lost And alone and needy And insecure Can we turn me up or no, oh, I see I have to speak Sorry Okay In my 20s I I'm just a long time ago And I would go out by myself To the bars to the clubs to the lounges by myself to try and understand Myself and I was insecure But I never gave up. I kept going you hear my story another place. I won't go into it now I was but I was massively needy To the point where girls would go on a date with me and then they're like, um I don't want to see this guy anymore And and I was so lost and alone and I spent my 20s in that range in my 30s Where the where because I kept going Is when the light bulbs kind of go like every now and then go wait a minute The girl said this to me. I've heard that 20 times before and really maybe it means this So I started to learn and started to get some little aha moments. I never had any startling epiphanies or big giant leaps Um So my 30s was like kind of like small incremental light bulb that was back in the day before Is it true before the internet discussions? And so there was no I had no help I had no way nobody to look up to I had nobody to turn to I had nobody say This is how you do it and it's going to be okay And so my 30s was like Starting to get like some kind of understanding because I did nothing else but trying to understand the hearts and minds and arms of women it's all I wanted to know and uh um and so my my 40s Is when I I hit the road I quit my corporate job I wanted on to the earth carry on bag only and I traveled and I consolidated and refined and understood and conversed and and and spent time trying to distill what I'd learned about the hearts of women and My 40s is I traveled and I wrote a book about it I wrote a book called the alabaster girl And it took me 10 years to write from 40 to 50 At birthday to birthday I published on my 50th birthday get it out the door kick and um um and then It feels like I've said something no I vomited something out of my system The whole time I was writing that book for 10 years. I love books and yet I never Read another book in that 10 years because I would go into an airport bookstore I'm like I love bookstores and I would go in there and I'd like Books books books and they called me but I would feel guilty Because I hadn't finished my book And I felt like uh, so I'd walk out of there and I also didn't want to I also didn't want to um Shift the what I was trying to say there's something in me that I had That had been Learned and fought for and you know, I went I was in the trenches with a mustard gas flying over my head and I wanted to describe that experience And um So for 10 years I didn't I didn't read another book and now honestly guys. I feel devoid I feel like I've set This is my book. I'll show you By the way incidentally, I know some of you have my book. It's here It's called alabaster girl And in in romania where I have an apartment I printed 2 000 of these books And I have a thousand left that gives them away So if you want to if you wanted to sign copy, I want to go back to when you'll sign it send it to you in the mail Uh, just pay for shipping Go to alabaster girl.com And I've got a thousand left. So as soon as the thousand are gone done But that's the book And you know That was three years ago. I published this thing on my birthday and I haven't cracked it since It's like that conversation is Done is everything everything I honestly it's everything I ever knew or learned in my entire life to that point about sexual polarity masculine edge Uh the female spirit And um Yeah, so I feel like I'm coming on stage. I thought for a couple days. What can I say and the only thing I'm gonna do Is just kind of like The only thing that has interest me now If what I'm trying to understand for myself going forward my next 50 years my next book So anything has any any any wheels for me at all so It might be like scattered and messy and I don't really don't have a nice opening And crescendo I don't have it. Um So I'm just gonna riff on a few things that I've been thinking about You know, we get value from it My voice sounds a little scratchy, but oh well And besides all that You have enough information You've been consuming information for 10 years on an average here with books ebooks seminars forums Facebook groups programs the dvds Stuff you've done youtube videos You have consumed information massively And you have it packed in your head So you don't need more information from me And the only thing I want to get if I can tonight and I'll try Is to get Kind of a spirit if maybe you can feel What I've been trying to understand myself and what I'm still trying to understand going forward So I'm not gonna. I don't know. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna wing it um The information you have Like I said, you don't need more The information age Has run its course It really has because look at the misinformation that's out there everywhere now The miss the information age has run its course. It's it's it's It's overwhelmed with misinformation And you have enough in here So now The only task from this time forward for the rest of your life Is how to take this massive amount of information that you have consumed And to lower it down here into your heart Lower it down into your into your gut And into your balls so you can feel something Right So instead of like talking to women like hey, uh, nice to meet you. Uh, what are you doing later? It's all It comes from here Hey, I'm just gonna say I like girls and you look like one. It's all I know Just saying Comes from here There's something that downshifts into your body if you're hanging out with me ever I'm like, hey joke joke fun talk talk Blah blah blah and I'm like I'm like anybody else as soon as there's The women something in me downshifts I can feel it And I and and there's something me that kind of like it's like what's this shape? What's that? What's that video game? Mortal Kombat and it and it's actually something that is shape charged for her. That's right. You felt that I get it I'm over here with my buddies. Yeah You're not going away So there's something in in And and if you can catch a glimpse or catch and the the spirit of that get it out of your head We're all in our head. You know, you get a negative thought Let's say you go to a party and You don't know anybody there But you want to be interesting and kind and cool and interact And so you're like, uh, get out my nerve get in state I'm gonna have to talk to this girl over here. Hey, hey Um, what are you drinking there? Whatever you say and she's like, um He walks away and now you Get in your head You get this negative thought your head that says well, that sucked She just reinforced that I suck You get this negative thought the circles around your head You know, and it's like a B If you have one B circle around your head, it's kind of a nuisance if you have three or four That's your whole world You have three or four B's circle around your head doesn't matter what else is going on That's the only thing you can think about or concentrate on is that And these B's circle around your head And these thoughts build upon their the thoughts and then you think well, yeah I'm not interesting enough obviously and I don't know anybody here and this is stupid and uh I feel awkward and the thoughts the negative thoughts Stop jump on top of each other And accelerate and accelerate and this swarm of B's was around your head and you can't escape it There's a whole doctrine out there. It says oh change your thoughts your life will change change your thoughts Your thoughts you can't Those thoughts are faster than you are You can't outrun the B's They're circling perfectly and if you're running as fast as you can they're still circling perfectly Right Can't outrun it so How then do you take this knowledge you have in your head? And downshift it into your body So that now you're speaking from the way you feel as opposed to speaking from the way you think I feel this that's all I know Just saying How do you downshift it? That's a good question. Um I don't know the answer, but I know approximations of the answer and that is um, hmm How to put words on this If you want, you know the information age is done And we want transformation We want embodiment. That's what I'm talking about. Take it out of here and embody This knowledge that you consumed embody it here so you can feel it so the world can feel So you move with your belt buckle forward as you walk into the room. Hello. I'm here Feel that girls Comes from here And something's planted How do you do this? I tell you what's missing from From the heart of the men and Trying to put words on it The sense of journey the sense of journey Everything with us is a loop We have a job. We do the job. We get a promotion and it's just a slightly different loop We started relationship with a girl Ends after two and a half years and loops back. We get another girl just like her And this is looping energy And we don't have the sense That we're on a progressive move this way A sense of journey The story of stories Joseph Campbell's hero's journey That we have a sense of Transcendence in that direction We've got this looping energy You know how we don't feel like we're progressing that we have anything to look forward to You know the feeling You get Um when a birthday comes around Think about that Your birthday comes around again and you're like A year flew by I can't believe it's my birthday again And and everybody's like a happy birthday to you Blow out the candles Celebration but you don't feel celebration Inside you're nodding your head and smiling but inside you feel that I'm not here The anxiety of like my birth it's the year flew by And you get this anxiety this this sense of angst here And it's like I can't believe the year just flew by and I'm already another year older and And when I you know, I'll tell you this because When I quit my corporate job And when I quit my corporate job you you can hear my story elsewhere Um, I gave two months notice. I was an executive I gave two months notice after thinking about it for a long time And it shocked me and scared me you can't imagine Because I was going into nothing And I remember I gave two months notice because I was a A senior guy And I remember in that two months I would lay in my bed And I would And tears would stream down my my my eyes Because I thought what did I do? I gave up That full ride pension All the benefits medical dental gave it all I walked away from that. What am I doing? And I was scared and like What did I do? But I've never looked back And incredibly because I didn't understand I didn't know that but the side effect Was the birthday comes around again And it's just another day You don't feel that Okay, it's my birthday And I think Is you don't have that twinge Of anxiety here When you are on message When you're on journey on a journey You don't have a figured out you don't have full confidence You don't have this you don't know where your next step is But you know that you are taking steps To live a life of excellence to make excellent Memories that's all you know Yeah so I guess I'm trying to say is If you truly want change And you do Or you wouldn't be here If you want transformation It's going to take everything you've got And more I went to Nicaragua to work on my book And I disappeared from the internet For a few months I sat there and I sweated in this cabin In a fishing village And I wore the same shorts And t-shirt every day No electricity And I wanted to understand You know the nature Of what I was doing And the people there Were simple and the kindest And most happy As you can possibly imagine And every three or four years They even come through and rip out all their cabins And they build them again So they had this sense of living very much in the moment And I remember I came out of there To Amsterdam And I did a week in intensive there So from that To this World You know first world Incredible culture And the only thing I can think You know those people Are so happy and so And so caught up in the simplicity Of what they have And we have everything And I came up with a phrase then And I believe with all my heart And I'll say it here Every great life Has had in it A great renunciation Let me say that again Every great life Has had in it A great renunciation Renunciation There is no other way We think we can just like Put some motivational things on Facebook Like some stuff Do some affirmations Read another book It's not enough It's not enough And we think Hugh Hefner just died And there's a video of Hugh Hefner In an interview when he was 88 So three years ago And he's, and which is remarkable About the thing he said about himself Notes to self or something he's called Go watch if you haven't seen it And he said There were moments in my life Where I completely Reinvented myself Completely I Consciously Chose To have a new way of thinking A new persona, a new path He consciously chose it By sheer force of will And I believe That you really need to reinvent yourself Every decade or so What do I mean by that? Everything Everything Well, Zan, that's irresponsible Because I have, well, okay Yeah We think we have to have it all figured out We have to save some money, we have to get ready We have to prepare Security It wasn't too long ago That men just like you And you, and you, and you, and you And you And you, not you And you Not too long ago That men just like you Went to sea in ships Didn't get medical insurance Before they went They had no safety, surety Security But they went They followed the romance of their hearts That I had to go And there was nothing, there was no Safety net for them Nowadays we backpack around You're going from ATM to ATM Right? That sense of moving through life With a state of grace And then we say Okay, but I have I have trauma Like issues and I have this childhood My childhood was not good And I'm trying to Sort this out Hmm My childhood was not good I was in foster homes from Four years old For two years And I don't remember the people's names I just remember the people And I remember they beat me And knocked me in closets Because I was the babysitter, the closet I learned how to count to 100 by myself In a closet, figured it out Sitting there in a dark closet I saw violence One of my first memories in the foster home Is a gun pointed at my head I don't know what happened Drunken party, I don't know So I was a scared kid And So What's my point here? My point is this Has there ever been In all of history Good childhoods In every culture, in every generation Before us, there's been Dad is dragged off the war Mummy can't feed us So she's not feeding herself so she can give us food Sister died From some incurable disease That would not happen today All of childhoods and all of history Were Nasty, brutish and short Right, in all of history They've always been Destructive and troubled And traumatic And yet we're the only generation That sits and dwells on Contemplates it Tries to resolve it Resolve my childhoods before I can have any Forward momentum All of the generation said I was abused I was abandoned, I was betrayed, I was hurt Right I'm going to leave that behind And go and find out what I'm made of Now I am not trying to diminish Thoughtful And helpful Therapy or counseling, I don't mean that at all But when we use it as our crutch As our excuse As our victim We're a victim It's time to put away childish things You know And say no, not no more Because I tell you That vile, mean authority figure From your childhood Who hurt you in some way Cannot touch you now Cannot touch you You're mad Then at some point you know Why don't you see the time there At some point Because no one's going to do it for you No one's going to do it for you You have to look in the mirror And see that little boy That little boy who is sincere He meant well He didn't mean it Then he got stomped on And it's up to you To look in the mirror and say And see that little boy And he's sad Because You think the confident guy That goes to life like rah rah Everything's all cool But That energy and that concept Of sadness as a theme That runs as a thread Through your life Everybody has it That pretty girl over there Has a theme of sadness from something in your childhood You do too You integrate that as part of your whole Who you are That thread of sadness is what makes you Become emotional At a sunset Or a work of art Or some music that makes you goosebumps That comes from the sadness of your life That's why art has Any kind of value and traction With you So you embrace it and say I'm not completely confident But at least I'm here You can do this In a sec That little boy in the mirror, you can look at him Which is you No one else is going to, I promise you that You can look at him and say, you know what At least you're one thing And no one can take it away from you You're a student of life You can give yourself that label right now Because you're here Trying to understand your path Trying to find the path of excellence Trying to find your role Like with women, you're trying to find That energy of you moving forward That transcendent progression through life To get out of these loops You can call yourself now A student of life And that's absolutely 100% true And no one can take it away from you You've arrived Hey, I'm a student of life You can talk to a girl and she's like Well, I don't like you said that Well, hey I'm trying to be dynamic and interesting I came to talk to you Because I'm a student of life I want to understand my role on this earth I'm a student of life She cannot say to you, well, no you're not She can say, I reject that That can't be rejected That is absolute truth You can go home Look in the mirror every single day And say, you know what, I said something stupid That girl But I'm a student of life No one can take it away or diminish That's not from you, forever That's the only thing you need to say To yourself, from this point on And if you have that sincerity Because that little boy in you Was sincere He meant well And I have the belief that You're sincere now You really want to have it Be engaging, be kind Have somebody to love you Love somebody, be sweet Be cool, be interesting That's sincerity And if you have that And you're sincerely trying to engage And a girl says, wow You can forgive yourself, everything Everything from your past You can forgive yourself, everything Forgiveness is huge You can forgive that little boy, it's okay It's gonna be okay, I got you And you can forgive Every seeming mistake you make If you're sincere You're honest to your intentions Before maybe I'm repeating myself But I'll say it again, the bear is repeating When you make love To a beautiful woman A woman that you adore And she receives you And she takes you in Because make no mistake I don't care what you're hearing out there in the world The energy And the divine Birthright of men Your God-given energy Is a thrusting Penetrative energy It's you thrusting It's you desiring to bend the world over That is divine And we think, oh, okay Well, society says, well men are Like one step away from being a rapist And you Stop at the playground there and look The kid is playing so you pedophile Right That sin That's a sin Don't buy into it, don't listen to it Walk away from that energy It's a sin perpetuated on men The energy of men Is to thrust and penetrate And give His greatest effort And The greatest Energy of the female spirit Is to receive And when you make love to a beautiful Woman who receives When you first penetrate her And she's receiving you in the feminine grace Everything In that moment is forgiven That energy forgives you For all the mistakes, all the hurts All the things you did in the past It's all forgiven because she receives And she rebirths You Women with that energy The female spirit The beauty of the female spirit The giving, rebirthing energy They birth you and they have the power To rebirth you And all is forgiven in that moment And then we say, wait a minute, I don't meet girls like that I'm on Tinder swiping Right And it's poking in holes and like Right, I get that I understand Women have shed The beauty of the feminine spirit Just like men have shed the beauty Of the masculine spirit And this is really, this is a reclamation This is trying to say We want to understand that again We want to reclaim the polarity And the beauty We want to say I'm a man And I like women and I like the shape of women And I don't apologize for that No, I know Because God made me that way None of this toxic shame You quasi-rapist you Right To any of that Don't accept it So, I mean There's a discourse going on In the world today, you guys are all aware of And it's a lot of voices On either side of the aisle And I'm saying, you know Hmm There's no, there's nothing Heroic in that conversation Take an end run around it Let's go over there Okay, you guys We're going over here Let's go in this direction I was on a radio show in Montreal And it was a nightly Sex talk radio show A while ago And She said to me I asked all my guests this So I'll ask you too What do you think about pornography? And what it has done For the state of our intimacy Our relationships and how we view our bodies And what has it done because it's so prevalent And it's everywhere We think it's shifted in the consciousness Of this modern age And I'm like Hmm I don't really have an answer to that I have no response to that Now I'm as aware as anybody That the prevalence of pornography Has some impact On the way we view our bodies The way we view our sexual energy I get that I get that However, there's a lot of voices Pro and con talking about that You don't need my opinion stacked on top of it So it's something I just haven't Investigated or thought about Or spent any time trying You'll never hear me talk social commentary When you think about this And feminism, I don't know Not interesting to me at all At all I want to understand something else I want to understand what is the measure Of a man What makes us feel alive What makes us feel like we're Moving forward With grace and beauty and energy What makes us feel like we're treasure hunters Where's that spark Where's the joy Where's the joy in any of it You see So I don't know It doesn't mean Take an end and run around it There's a Here's a perspective for you Because it really Shocks my mind If I'm on an airplane I've traveled a lot, I'm always on airplanes And then you think Don't you get nervous on a plane The plane might crash And there's something in me If I get any Twinge Man, what if this plane goes down Now I'm going to go down with it You know what kind of kicks into my heart I look around at all the other people Sitting on the plane There's a family over there There's an old dude there There's a girl there, it's pretty And I think If I go down and the plane goes down They're all going too How am I special? That perspective like I don't know It just blows my mind Ernest Becker I think that's right Called the denial of death In the 80s I think he wrote it or something The denial of death And his thesis is this We spend our entire lives The time we're born All the way In denial Of the fact that we're going To die So everything we do Enterprise, business Substances Binge-watching Netflix Is just to avoid the thought I don't want to think about it That someday we are going to return to the earth Can't escape it And the other thesis he had was Because you look at the dual nature of man The animals are the animals The instincts A dog eats Sleeps, humps The dog doesn't think about the Picasso over there Right? We don't think, we don't know But we do, we abstract Locke said beast abstract not And we think in abstract We think about beauty, we think about our childhood We think about where we're going to go What we want to accomplish in life Our hopes and dreams We think about art Architecture, we think these things And so we have this illusion That we are Approaching the divine This dual nature of man We're divine because we think divine thoughts But we're also going to go back into the earth Just like any other animal And the other thing he says And it's true No matter how pretty that girl is And how accomplished she is And how great and whatever we think she is She can't escape the fact That every now and then She has to take a long, runny Shit She has to take a long, runny Shit She can't escape it That's a reminder That we're heading to the grave And when you step back from this perspective Oh, the girl didn't text me back That's a low, low, low perspective You step back to the, wait a minute What are these days I'm going to be dead You think on that level The oblivion of the grave that we're going toward That's a perspective to have You know when I see a portrait A photograph, for instance Of a young woman from 1890 wearing a feather hat She wanted a little bit of her breasts And she's like smiling at the camera You've seen these, right? These vintage photographs I could stare at that for an hour All I could think is That pretty girl If she was here today Like wow, wow, she's pretty 120 years ago, whatever it was She's young She's beautiful, she's desired She has desires She had talents we don't know about Maybe she could whistle Maybe she could knit a nice sweater Maybe she found love with somebody Maybe she wanted to move to New York City And none of it matters At all Today, forgotten All of her talents, all of her dreams Everything I mean nothing And that's us That's us 100 years from now I remember What you tried to do So the whole point I guess I'm trying to make Is Fight for that energy, fight for like It doesn't matter It really doesn't matter I mean you In the book Ecclesiastes in the Bible Go read that book Well, geez Ann, I don't believe in the fairy tale Read it, go read the book It was written 800 years Before Marcus Aurelius and the Stoics Came along and said oh you know Which is the same thing I'm saying 2000 years ago The Stoics had this idea Which is kind of like a Buddhist thing Which is like there's no Good or bad but thinking makes it so That's Shakespeare, right? Doesn't matter Stoicism 800 years before that or so The book of Ecclesiastes said There's nothing new under the sun Back then Vanity, vanity All is vanity The writer of the book King Solomon presumably Said this, I Acquired wealth Above the end, all the men of the earth I Had wisdom Above all the men of the earth I had enterprises and companies I had women Solomon had hundreds of wives and Thousand concubines Right? He acquired all these things, he had All this above all men And he said when I surveyed it all All is vanity Which means It means nothing So that perspective The perspective of the grave The perspective of the oblivion of the grave I don't mean to be so morbid But Makes you realize You know what guys say to me Well listen Zan you say head toward the light Head toward the light but there is no light Everybody's being Everybody's suspicious, everybody's Attacking, everybody's There is no light, well guess what Then be the light Consciously choose, like Hugh Heffern did Consciously choose Because as you start to give Your grace and your energy And your inviting spirit to others They start to shine around you That's the way it works The greatest men Who have women in their lives One of the The greatest quality these men have Is the generosity of spirit They want you And you and you and you To have a great time in their presence To shine in their presence I don't know how many here have been in Romania In my place, I don't know But my place is always filled with girls My lovely girl Diana And her girlfriends are always there And we always have People in the space Play a big guitar Hang out, have a glass of wine And what you'll never see in my place It's true, I think so, yeah And you'll never see, like there's ten people Sitting around, you'll never see two people Paired off Like this Blah blah blah blah Because I won't allow it Because I want the energy to come to the center You and you and you, so I'll interrupt And say, hey, tell that story you told me earlier today I was funny, tell the whole group It's an inviting into the center So that no one is disincluded If you're ever near me You were in a group And I see everybody's talking and you're sitting quietly And no one's getting in, I'm instantly, come here Did you meet this girl yet? Come here You gotta meet this girl Because Because I know how it feels I know how it feels To be not included And I won't allow it to near me at all Because I know how it feels, it doesn't feel good So if you're in a social energy with me I'm like, hey, this is my buddy You didn't meet him yet, come here Come meet this guy, I'm like throwing everybody into the center constantly And the opposite Of generosity of spirit Is judgmentalism Is that a word? So to be judgmental That's the worst quality A man Or a woman can have To be judgmental, I don't like that girl Because that's the worst quality Rip that out of your heart If you have any twinge of that at all So I don't know guys Like I guess I'm I'm pretty abstract, huh? I didn't give you any concrete Like then you do this Then you say, hey While I hope Like I said, I'm just going to do some musings up here What I'm trying to understand for myself Because my next 50 years The only thing I'm trying to understand is I'm kind of done with the conversation of men and women Doesn't mean I know everything It just means I'm kind of like I spent my whole life trying to understand women It's all I've ever done Since I was 18 I have done nothing else I had no other hobbies but that I went out wherever women are going to be I'm going to go there, buy myself to the mall Buy myself to the bars I play a little bit of guitar Just because I thought girls would like it I did nothing else But pursue the hearts and minds of women I want to know Women have been my teachers No man ever taught me something But women have been my teachers And it doesn't mean that women are enlightened And say, let me tell you something about women No, women are just lost as we are They have no clue either I learned from women By osmosis, by observing By Wait a minute, she said this And I heard that before And maybe this So there's no woman ever actually said Just by observing the dynamic and the rhythm And the flow Because it is a rhythm And flow That's why you hear people say it doesn't matter what you say And it doesn't Because if you're from your head Like I talked about earlier Then it's all like, hey We like me And I got a joke And we like me And it doesn't come from here Which is your grounded Beautiful, lower energy I'll touch on that Maybe I've said it before, I'm going to say it anyway Because I think it's incredible Because I didn't know this Everything I say I'm saying to my young self Leave me And I did not know this I was the guy trying to be cool all the time Walk around with imaginary lats Right? And lean against the bar by himself Till 2 in the morning when the bar closes Didn't do anything Too afraid to approach the girls There's an energy that we put into the world Which is our energy that starts from here Our solar plexus, our heart Whatever Shocker, I don't know why these things It comes from here and it goes up And out into the world You can feel it, there's a masculine energy That goes like this, starts from here and flows out into the world This is you being gracious How you doing brother? Can I get you more wine? Can I get your coat? This is you being telling a joke Hey guys you're going to love this story It's a great charming Beautiful masculine energy That goes out into the world this way Up and out And that's a necessary Excellent, that's empathy, curiosity, humor All these things And then from the same center of gravity You have a lower moving energy Starts here and goes down And out And it floats on the floor Like base And you can feel it And it's your desire To bend the world over It's your dark forest It's your sexual desire It's your thrusting nature It's your mischief Did I just say that? Yeah I think I just said that You better believe I said it, you liked it It's that And all of our instruction out there Not all but 98% Is How to be more this Toastmasters How to tell jokes, how to be funny, how to entertain the girls Hey girls I got a question for you It's all up for energy That energy is a high energy, it's a necessary energy But if it isn't Counterbalanced By that lower moving vibrational energy That plants into the floor like roots of a tree You're the nice guy You're top heavy You talk to a girl, hey Who's nice talking to you, would you like to go for coffee sometime Oh I'm sorry I have a boyfriend I didn't mean it and we flinch The matrix is like this right I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by it What? Yes you did I just thought maybe we could have coffee Since I'm sorry I didn't know you had a boyfriend Because we're top heavy we have nothing down here That grounds us, that counterbalances all these great things Your charm, your beauty Your fun, spontaneity, all these things And if you're only lower energy You're a pig, you're a creep You're invasive Why would you say that? Why would you do that? Because it's not balanced An integrated man is both Our modern man Is this only? We know what wine to order We know how to massage a girl Can I get her in the mood? Women are always in the mood Do you get anything from this conference at all Take that back home with you Your sexual energy Which has been slapped out of you By society and the media and everything Is from God You have to believe that It's the thrusting energy and the beauty of the feminine spirit Which is lacking as well Which we can't find anywhere Is to receive and to rebirth The greatest women are the ones Who see the potential in you That you do not see yourself They inspire you And when you have a girl You want to be proud of your girl Because that's my girl over there Not proud of the eye candy she is But proud because that's my girl I like her who she is What she represents, what she's trying to do in her own life That's a good girl If you don't have that kind of pride For your girl Break out, serious If she doesn't have that for you That respect and pride And really admire you You have to admire each other Anyway I have four minutes left I don't know if it had any kind of value for you guys But it's what I'm thinking constantly And I can't sleep because I'm thinking about it all the time I'm trying to write another book And I can't form it That's crap I like this guy But I will do it The world can't end because I got to do this book So I'm not worried But you know what? It's true because this book Let's go get it if you don't have it Okay? And let me know what you think Let me know what you think about it It's my life's work, it's foreigner-baited That book came from my Hard-won, hard-earned, hard-scrabbling Experiences And I vomited it out of my system And I feel like my next book I don't have anything I have to I have to go To the ancients, I don't know But I know what the theme of the book is I know what it feels like I know the pattern of it I know the name, no, the title But I won't tell you But I just can't Shape it, I'm missing something But I'm excited because I have to fight for it So I guess my closing message Because I got two minutes left Is Keep seeking that mystery Go fight for the energy of the mystery Answers whatever Keep always looking for the trajectory Of what makes you alive What makes you shine Be the light, like I said And others will follow into it Be generous with your spirit Be gracious, be kind Welcome others in Forgive yourself Forgive that little boy Who meant well Because you meant well last week when you talked to a girl And said, I don't like that But your heart was sincere I guess I'm done I have bookmarks for everybody I think I have enough I'll hide them all Go to alabastergirl.com I had 2,000 copies They're stacked up in my apartment And I was signing them And sending them out The only thing you have to pay is shipping The cost It was $7.95 $8 But then my lovely illustrious Romanian business partner Serene said the postage went up And now it's $10 to send the books out So it's now $10 But it's cost Believe me, that's it I'll sign it and I'll send it to you Put your full name and your address But let me know what you think Because you know I don't know Question? I guess I should have taken questions Are we out of time? So I very much like your vibe And I also Every time I went out And had more of your vibe Focusing on energy, focusing on the flow Focusing on the small things Letting it just develop I was always more successful I was there with my brain Analytical German style So You're always on time though But I think what we all Struggle with Don't judge, it's one of the things Get rid of this A lot of times we have our jobs Which we judge there Where we get sick sometimes From that we have We look on Twitter We look on, we turn on the TV We see the news going on We judge there Do you have any tips How we can In our environment Which is full of B.S. again I'm judging here How we can create more of this vibe And focusing more on energy I don't know The world is saturated With this Violent discourse I don't know what the answer is I really don't It's easy to say We live a life Of connectedness I have to be on Facebook That's how I connect with my family And other people I don't know the answer to that I think it's just a conscious choice To say Nope, I don't want it That doesn't serve me To get into that dialogue It doesn't Serve me If you're a seeker And you're a student of life And if you're a seeker Which is a beautiful, beautiful energy to be Then I don't know I don't know the answer to your question I really don't It's a difficult time One more question over here Okay Thanks guys Welcome to Orlando, Florida For the 21 convention 10-year anniversary event I'm sitting alongside Zann Perion Zann, welcome to the show Thank you for having me sir It's great having you here Zann So before we get into some questions Could you give the guys watching a brief overview of your talk? Oh my goodness Hmm I basically I went on stage And I was kind of hemming and hawing Because I didn't have a prepared speech The other thing I was trying to describe on the stage Was the kind of things That I'm trying to understand for myself right now Like I wanted to explore Concepts That I'm fascinated about But I don't have fully shaped or formed And I don't know if I did that I don't know if it was successful But I didn't have a nice Cut and dried speech Lined up So in your talk you mentioned About Your masculine edge your dark side How can a man Develop what you call as masculine Edge or dark force Well that's a good question Because we all have it We have that since we're born We have this beautiful Dangerous Dark Mask and sexual energy We suppress it all our lives So it's not like we have to develop this It's like we have to Reject this concept that it's toxic Or that it's a bad thing That society and media Perpetuates upon men That to have a sexual nature To desire to thrust and penetrate into the world Which we had since we were little boys And to Not buy into the fact that Or the Concept that is out there That it's a bad thing Or shameful of our sexual nature So it isn't developing It's uncovering it Not apologizing for it But at the same time having full respect Full empathy full charm Full kindness So that you're not this aggressive Energetic Creep basically So you mentioned kindness And charm What's the difference between Being a nice guy and being What you're calling as charming Well the nice guy has Interesting funny Talk All this kind of stuff And there's nothing energetically From his From his center of gravity That goes down into the world That is completely suppressed and cut off So he's all upper energy He's top heavy He flinches at the girl and says Oh I have a boyfriend, I'm sorry And there's nothing grounding There's no It's necessary and modern man Is all upper energy They lead from their heads Hi would you like to see me again And they talk and you can buy a drink And there's nothing that comes from That great Center And it's hard to describe Because I'm talking about vibration And I wrote an entire book About vibration really and the energy And the energy sounds so woo woo But it is exactly the It's consciously projected toward women So You spent your whole life Almost dedicated your life to understanding Women? Yeah I did Why is that? I don't know, that's a good question I just adore women And I've adored women forever Even though I've been rejected You know my youth My 20s was like just a blur of Just massive insecurity And not being included And wishing and wondering What I did wrong But I never gave up I've adored women Since forever and I love And I'm not saying that I don't put women on a pedestal I won't put women on a pedestal But I put the female spirit on a pedestal That is a saving grace That is something that is rare Missing just like the masculine grace Is missing But the feminine spirit You know that to me is like Is I just adore that To To bathe In the redemptive qualities of What true feminine spirit has for men And it inspires men We can go out and build the Taj Mahal We can go fight wars and do all that kind of stuff Because we have the inspiration Of feminine grace behind us And in this modern age That's gone So what's next I'm trying to write a second book And I said on the stage I'm not blocked Because I know what I'm trying to create I just don't know how to I'm missing something I'm missing some kind of understanding To know how to form this And so I lay awake And day and night is all I think about It's like my first book It's A labor of love took me 10 years to write Alibaba as a girl And intellectually I know I created I did what I set out to do But the next book has me fascinated I'm like wait a minute There's something else here So answer your question I'm trying to write a second book And I'm fighting for it day and night That's all I know Something's cooking And I don't know how to Finish the cooking This has been your second time At the 21 convention How has this event compared to Last year's event in 2016? You know there's a bigger crowd Here and I think There's a more vibrancy here I'm not sure what it is It was quieter last year I think And this year the guys are much more Engaged I guess you could say And the speakers are much more Coming together and engaged There's something living In this one That I'm not saying the last one wasn't But there's something There's something There's some vibrancy Which bodes well for the future I don't know how to say it Awesome, so if the people watching Want to learn more about you And more about your work Where's the best place they can go? Well R's on marata.com A-R-S-A-M-O-R-A-T-E-A And it's fake latin For the art of love R's on marata Zanperian.com It's my website And for a limited time I have An alabastergirl.com Which is where I give my book away For free, pay for shipping only And I've only got a thousand copies left Out of the two thousand I printed But I signed them and sent them from Romania So if I've got those thousand left Then I'll You can go to alabastergirl.com And put your name and address And I'll send you a book Brilliant, so with that said You can now see Zan's talk First on 21university.com Or by clicking the link Underneath this video Zan, thanks once again for being with us We really appreciate it So that's been Mike with Zanperian Signing off for the 21 report Thank you. Thanks guys