 The Jack Belly program quality of product is essential to continuing success Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw LS MFT LS MFT LS MFT Yes, sir. Sure thing. That's right. Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed So free and easy on the draw that real deep down smoking enjoyment you get in your lucky strike and be described in just five words Lucky strike means fine tobacco Yes, you get real deep down smoking enjoyment because of that finer Lighter naturally milder lucky strike tobacco. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike The lucky strike program coming to you from the Aster hotel in New York City starring Jack Benny With Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stevens and yours truly Don Wilson And now ladies and gentlemen, I bring you a man who got on a train in Los Angeles and came to New York by way of What scenery and here he is the star of our show Jack Benny Thank you. Thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking and Don when I arrived in New York now You won't believe this, but I got an official welcome back Mayor LaGuardia wanted me to be with him so much He made me an honorary fireman God what an honor it was to meet Mayor LaGuardia. There he was dressed up at his fire hat and everything and Don when he shook hands with me I was chilled Jack you mean thrilled. No chill. He stuck a cold nozzle in my hand Well, anyway, Don here we are New York what a town. I don't know what it is, but it's so different from walking in Yes, sir, you really love New York, don't you Jack? Well, I I like it You like it why Jack when we arrived here the first thing you did when you stepped off the train was to get down and kiss the ground I did not I slipped on the ice Well Jack if you only slipped on the ice why did you stay down there so long? I told you I was shaking hands with Mayor LaGuardia I had to do it then after all who knows when I'm gonna be down that way again Anyway, Don kidding aside, it's really great to be back in New York. Yes, it is Jack and my wife and I are having a grand time Oh, oh, you brought your wife with you. I didn't know that. Yes, you see Jack It's our anniversary and we wanted to be together. Oh, you're anniversary. Well Congratulations, Don. Oh, thanks, Jack and I'll tell you what I'm gonna do just for a little anniversary present as long as we're in New York I'll pay all your expenses your hotel bill and everything for you and your wife. Oh, you don't have to do that. Oh, yes Yes, yes, I know Jack. No really. I don't feel it. I don't want to hear any more about it I insist on paying your wife's expenses as well as your own. Well, thanks. Thanks Jack That's darn nice of you. That's all right by the way Don Where are you staying at the Waldorf Astoria? Oh The the Waldorf Astoria. Yes, it's on Park Avenue. I know where it is your big fat head All right, Don, I made a promise and I'm gonna stick to it you can live at the Waldorf Oh, thanks, and here's a handful of nickels. You know where to eat I mean, there's no you standing in line for change. All right, folks I know the temperature dropped the point but Harris is here to heat up this joint. Hi Hey, Phil, Phil, you don't have to bust in here like a heatwave. Harris is here to warm up the joint It's not that cold in New York. It ain't huh? No. Well, it's the first time I ever seen the Statue of Liberty blowing on her hands Oh, Harris, you joy boy. You're right from Dixie and you're in your cups, you kid Silly gags everybody who can't stand the cold makes up jokes about it You were red-blooded like I am you could stand this type of weather. Oh sure sure. What do you mean? Oh sure sure remember the other morning when you were shaving and cut yourself Yeah, your blood came out went hubba hub and crawled right back in again That happened when I first got here, but I'm getting Come in Mr. Benny, I'd like to introduce myself. I'm mr. Beck the manager of the Aster hotel Now, how do you do sir and since you're honoring us by broadcasting from our ballroom I want to make sure that nothing interferes with your program. Well, thank you. Thank you. You're very considerate are the microphones working All right. Yes. Yes, I'd better make sure one two three four one two three four. Hello, mom one two three four one two three Look the microphones are all right. I look at them. They're all because I don't want anything to interfere with your Thank you. Thank now if you'll excuse me Phil Harris's orchestra is gonna play in the piano in two Yes, the piano is in tune. Look at the pianos in tune. That's in tune But mr. Beck, will you please you know, I used to play a little bit myself Believe me everything is all right good because I don't want anything to interfere with your program I know I know everything is fine. Well, then I'll be running along and if there's anything That would happen I knew it play Phil Sanctuate the positive played by Phil Harris and his New York, New Haven and it shouldn't happen to Hartford They feel I Love that guy say Phil where Phil where did you pick up these boys? What are you talking about? This is my regular orchestra I brought him from Hollywood from Hollywood. Yeah, you just don't recognize them. They're wearing shoes Oh, yes, they are how in the world you ever get them to put them on well, I told them it was a publicity stunt Well, are they having fun here in New York? Well, their feet hurt them, but they're having a good time Hey, don't see how about you you enjoying your stay here? I sure am Phil especially since my wife is with me Oh, yeah, I forgot this is your anniversary. Isn't it happy anniversary Don? Well, thanks, Billy You know what Phil now what well Jack's paying all the expenses for my wife and me at the Waldorf Astoria say that's great Jack who? Jack me that's jack who? I'm paying all the expenses for Don and his wife while they're in New York. It was my own idea. It can't be the heat. It's cold here All right, it's cold here. Oh, by the way, Phil. I saw you last night at Frank Fay's new show Did you see it Jack Frank Fay? Not yet, Don. Oh, well, don't miss it. He's a scream I tell you Jack my size still ache Frank Frank Fay, yeah, yeah, you should have been there Jackson You know Don laughs louder at Frank Fay than he does it you. Oh, he does it. Oh What else you see Phil? Oh, I've seen a lot of shows, you know, I've been going to the theater every night Frank Fay I Saw a bloomer girl. I saw a laughing room only Mexican. Hey, right, and then I saw just a minute filled listen Wilson What's so funny about Frank Fay? Well to tell you the truth Jack I think he's one of the greatest comedians I've ever seen. Oh, you do a yes I do well then get him to pay your wife's expenses at the Waldorf I'm no sucker. Oh Jackson You don't expect Don to go to a show and not laugh at it. Do you nobody doesn't have to keep raving about Frank Fay all the time I wasn't raving about him. I just said I liked him. All right. You like him That doesn't mean you have to go around telling people that I'm washed up Then he is through finish who said that I can read between the lines brother. Oh What are you talking about? The minute he gets in town. He's got to go right right over and see Frank Fay Well, I'll wait a minute Jackson. He didn't pay the program all he talks about Frank. Hey, Frank. Hey What about it? Well, what about it? Well, what about I see no reason for paying Mrs. Wilson's hotel bill So the deal's off No, boy, I wish I get out of my girdle that easy You're here to do the commercial as time we had one Well, I should have mentioned this to you But the sponsor told me that while we're in New York, he'd like a little variety on the commercials So he's sending over a special announcer to do. Oh, oh, well, he'll probably show up. That's strange bringing in another announcer, I wonder if hello, mr. Benny. Oh, hello Larry. How are you? Well, Larry you got here just in time to do your song. I know and I'm so nervous It's the first time I've ever sang in New York. Well, I can understand how you feel kid Yeah, I'll never forget the first time I played my violin here in New York I was just about your age and I was just as nervous as you are Well, you should have been with those Indians shooting those arrows that you They'll stop exaggerating Larry's learned nervous enough as it is I go ahead and sink it and don't worry about the Indians I mean don't worry about anything. Okay Hold on a minute kid come in Yes, mr. Benny, I'm coming here to welcome in you to New York Why it's it's Mrs. Noosebaum. I'm resembling maybe the bloomer girl No, no, of course now, but I'm glad you're here. Thank you and mr. Benny I'm inviting you after your broadcast. You should be guest of honor at my new restaurant Oh, you have a restaurant. Yes, and what a romantic place We feature soft lights and hard salami Well, I'll be very happy to drop in but I didn't know you were in the restaurant business Oh, this is only of a recent nature. I've been running this restaurant only since I stopped working for you Should excuse the expression Fred Allen Not only is mine the restaurant's serving the best from delicacies But we are also featuring a floor show which would make home and billings lead pine Greek with envy Oh, you have a floor show too. Yes, and for my feature attraction next week. I'm trying to get Frankie boy. Oh You mean sonata I'm telling him instantly And then he's singing don't fence me in waiting at the gate Well, Mrs. Noosebaum, I'll be very happy to come to your restaurant, but how do I get there? First you're taking the subway Then you are crossing the bridge and you are finding yourself in you should excuse the expression Brooklyn And with the Benny you should realize how lucky you are I am inviting you to mine the restaurant on a Sunday. Why well, I will clarify on Monday. We are having meatless Tuesday Oh Then comes without taking Thursday and sugar sugar you positively cannot get on Saturday But when you come on Sunday, you are very lucky. Why because on Sunday, we're closed all together It was certainly nice seeing Mrs. Noosebaum again. All right, Larry go ahead and sing. Oh say mr.. Benny I meant to ask you where's miss Livingston why she still has a bad cold. She's listening to the program at the hotel I'm sure she'll be with us next week. Well, mr.. Benny would it be all right if I dedicate my number to her? Oh, that'd be very nice Larry, I'm sure she'll appreciate it go ahead and sing And do we stop when the lady is kissable any dream is So beautiful sung by Larry Stevens the candy bar kid and I'm sure Mary like Hey Larry, this is your first trip Larry. This is your first trip to New York. Yes, mr.. Benny Well, have you been anywhere? Have you seen any of the sites? Well, I went to Central Park in the Bronx Zoo And yesterday when I was walking along the street. I saw the Empire State Building Oh, you know, that's the tallest building in the world, you know I know so I took an elevator went all the way up to the top. Yeah. Well, you look down at the street Well, what for I just came from there For some kind of an answer there Larry the only reason people take the elevator to go up Come in Hello everybody. Good evening, mr.. Benny Why Fred and how are you? Well? I haven't time to bend the pleasantries mr.. Benny This really isn't a social call. I'm I'm here on business business. Yes, your sponsor hired me to read the commercial Oh, so you're the guy but Fred I thought radio was through with I mean you were through with radio Well, I haven't got my own program anymore But I do odd jobs a commercial here a sound effect there an occasional sob on John's other wife and By that you manage to eke out a living if it doesn't make you too unhappy. Yes And here I am tonight slumming on your show Your information Alan my program is right up on top on top listen Benny your program is so low Gravity will have nothing to do with it And you're You won't find it in there. I called in a little writer who was going by on the street Furthermore furthermore he gave me this in case the other one didn't go Furthermore your program is sure so full of corn its rating goes up and down with the grain market That's the one we gave you And another thing I don't leave Mary Livingston is sick tonight at all You just made her stay home. So you'd be sure of one listener Alright alright look at you came here to read a commercial. So do it and get out of here. Oh, Mr Benny you're losing your temper. I Am NOT losing my temper. Well your forehead is getting read right up to the roots of your toupee Listen Alan, I don't know why my sponsor had to send you over doesn't he know that I pay Don Wilson a big salary to read the commercial Can't Wilson read it. Well, yes, but your sponsor feels that with the local butchers on strike It isn't safe for all of that beef to linger too long in one spot Well, then all right read a commercial and get out of here. All right. Well now you just step aside, mr Benny, I use big words and make gestures. I need a lot of room. Would you step back from the microphone? Go ahead. Thank you Ladies and gentlemen lucky strike means fine tobacco. Yes lucky strike means fine tobacco Click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click wait a minute wait Are you doing a commercial or do you have lower plate wobble? Nice to get one in myself here once Now quiet quiet. Please mr. Benny. This may be my big opportunity click-click click-click click Yes, sir sure thing. That's right. Oh boy. Wahoo Lucky strike means fine tobacco. What diction so round so firm and like mr. Benny's wallet so fully packed Now look but unlike mr. Benny's wallet lucky strikes are free and easy on the draw Now wait a minute with men who know tobacco best. It's lucky's two to one That's better and with men who know comedians best. It's a L. Ellie N It's be and and why be and and why Now don't stop me jack up to now. This is the cleverest dialogue on your show Are you hurt Fred say something so well, I can't understand the sponsor sending a guy like that over here to do a commercial Oh, I don't know Jackson Alan's a pretty sharp apple. You know, he was on information, please So what I've been on with the quiz kids three times. Oh, yeah, that's right I remember the last time you were on with the quiz kids. You got sword slappermen. That's copperman. Oh The old copperman had a right to get sore at him You know he because he used square root to figure out my age and I wasn't supposed to I'll get it Hello, hello, mr. Benny Is that you Rochester? It ain't the boys of the turtle Rochester, where are you? I'm in Harlem. Well, why is it every time we come to New York? I have the same trouble with you. I didn't even see you when we got off the train I jumped off the train when it passed a hundred and thirty-fifth tree jumped off. Yeah when I go to Harlem I like to get a running start Right, so you got the keys to my trunk and you've been going four days I bet you're on some kind of a wild party. Oh, no, no boss. No, I'm not you're not a oh, no, sir I'm here visiting my grandmother. You're what my grandmother. She's 88 years old 88 years old Yeah, sweetest little old lady you ever saw. Well granny pour me another cup of tea, please Now Rochester just a minute boss put an olive in it, honey Olive Rochester, what did you say about an olive? That's my grandmother's name. I'll live Johnson What I got a cousin named Pimento Rochester you're not telling me the truth I just happen to remember that your grandmother lives in Los Angeles. Oh, that's the grandmother on my father's side This is the one on my mother's side. What about the grandmother? You said you had in Chicago. She joined the wax There you are Rochester, you got yourself all mixed up you can't have three grandmothers What'd you say boss? I said you can't have three grandmothers. Are you sure? Of course. Okay. You have to get off my lap honey We ain't related Rochester you're not fooling me. I know you're at a party. I want you to be at my hotel in an hour. Goodbye But boss, can I stay just a little longer if I leave now? It'll break up all the fun. Why how many people are there at the party 22? 22 then how can you're leaving make any difference because 21 of my girls? 21 of my girls, you're the only man and how can you call that a party? Oh I don't want to hear another word about it. Goodbye Goodbye every time I come to New York this happens every time Jack will be back in just a minute, but first here's my good friend LA speed rakes I spent 13 years buying tobacco the advantage I have over most smokers when it comes to selecting a cigarette is that I know Tobacco so well and at auction after auction. I have seen lucky strike by quality tobacco That's why I've smoked luckies myself for 12 years This is what Charles Belvin of Durham, North Carolina said and when a tobacco expert like mr. Belvin gives eye witness testimony as to who buys What tobacco you know lucky strike means fine tobacco? Yes, lucky strike means fine tobacco the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's programmer mr. Fee boom of Lexington, Kentucky Sold American mr. L. A speed riggs of Goldsboro, North Carolina As we'll rise Dale speaking for lucky strike LS MFT LS MFT LS MFT You bet and how lucky strike means fine tobacco So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Fred I want to thank you for coming over as nice of my sponsor to have you do the commercial I want to thank you to Jack thank me what for well your sponsor said you'd pay me. Oh, oh Oh, there he goes again folks with that. Oh, oh, oh for 12 years now He's been going oh, oh, oh, you know some day. He's going to ad lib a fourth Oh, and it's right as we'll go out and drop dead in a body Hmm you hear that folks He said hmm. What a change of pace Look Fred instead of sending you a check I'll be a guest on your program, but Jack I haven't any program Well, then I'll just walk around with you for about a half hour someday. Oh good night, folks This is the national broadcasting company