 The Craft Foods Company presents the Great Gilder Sleeves. It's the Great Gilder Sleeves starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Craft Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. Gilder Sleeves this evening is in a reflective mood. Seated along in the porch swing after dark, he glides slowly back and forth, watching the fireflies flitting over the lawn, breathing the soft night air and the scent of wisteria blossoms, and the aroma of a good 15-cent panatella. Through his head, there runs a tune. I remember the first time I ever fell in love. Well, not the first time. Don't be ridiculous. But it was during the early days of the war, and it happened right here. Right here on this lawn. I guess it must have been love at first sight. I remember I was over on the other side there, clipping the hedge one day, and Leroy was watching a moving van that was pulling up in front of... And now, keep out of that truck, unless none of you are a business. Why not? Because it's not polite to snoop, that's why. Okay. The sooner you learn that, the better. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. What? What did you find out? Dames moving in. Not a dame, Leroy. A lady. Okay, a lady. Wait a minute. What's her name? I don't know. You didn't ask? It's no affair of ours? Makes no difference anyway. Is she a young woman? No, I was just asking. I don't care one way or another. Means nothing to me for heaven's sake. Just seems a little strange if you didn't find out what her name was, that's all. Oh, I can go back there and ask the guy he'll get... No, no, no. I don't want you to do that. I'd be prying into other people's affairs. You've done enough of that already. But I think you should learn, my boy, that whatever's worth doing it all is worth doing well. I've got to take him in hand. Hi, Uncle Morris. Oh, hello, Marjorie. Clipping the hedge. That's a silly question, my dear. What does it look as if I were doing? It looks as if you were clipping the hedge. Right, girl. But it was clipped only yesterday. Huh? Oh. Well, there are a few shoots here. Hedge grows very quickly this time of year, you know? Terrible thing if you let it get ahead of you. Oh, you're taking no chances. Who are the new neighbors? Who? Oh, the neighbors. I just sent Leroy. I mean, I was unable to stop Leroy from going over and finding out. Does he have to shout? Yes, Leroy, what is it? I don't know what you're talking about, Leroy. You want to speak to me? Come over here. That darn kid doesn't know better than to go yelling all over the neighborhood. Yeah, widow. Leroy! Come on, in the house. Everybody, we can't stand out here staring. What about the hedge, Uncle Mort? What about it? You think it's all right to let it go another day? Certainly. You don't think it'll grow so high we won't be able to see next door? Inside Marjory, inside. Leroy, get away from that widow. I mean, window. I told you not to stand there staring. Yeah, I didn't look long. Huh? What is it? What is it? I don't... Oh, well, just a quick one. I'm very busy. Oh, I know what that is. You, too, Bernie? Oh, I know what that is. That's a shades line. I've seen them in the movies. Well, pretty fancy. They've carted more high-class furniture into that house. Well, well, you peeping Tom's still at it? Uh-uh, who's peeping? Miss Marjory, come here quick. Look at the dressing table that man's carrying there. Ain't that gorgeous? Well... Did you ever see so many pink ruffles? It's a little overdone, if you ask me. What's overdone about it? I like a little nonsense here and there. It's in the right place. No, it's all right if you happen to care for that type of thing. Well, now I don't think it's fair to judge a woman by her ruffles. Who's judging her? I haven't even seen her. The truck driver says she's a lot of palooza. Leroy? Come away from there. Here she comes now, I bet. Look, uncle's a taxi pulling up from the front of the house. Huh? See, the driver's getting out to open the door for her. Huh? Now she's paying him. Well... She'll be getting out any minute. Don't push, Uncle Mort. There she is. Whoa, baby! Leroy, I want you to spend less time around that busty-poe hereafter. Tell me he's reading comic books. See, what's that she's carrying? It's not a... Yes, by George it is. Not a parasol. Not in 1942. Don't knock parasols, my dear. Some of the happiest moments of my life have been spent on the parasols. And my life is not over. Where's my gas mask? Where's my armband? Where's the fire? Never mind. Where's that helmet? Leroy, have you been playing Commando again? I never touched your helmet. All right, then help me find it. So, has anybody's helmet disappeared as I took it? What about Marge? Marge? You've been growing ivy in it? Now, why would I want to grow ivy in a helmet, Uncle Mort? I don't know. You've been growing it and everything else around here. Come on, kids. Help me find my equipment, will you? You know, you really ought to have a special place for it and just keep it there, Uncle Mort. I have. Well... But I can't remember the place. Boy, you make a great fireman, Uncle. The house would burn down before you found your pants. All right, Leroy, you just go around... Frank! But it isn't finding my... Oh, here it is. Say, where you going, Uncle? Never mind. Just let that armband on for me, will you, my dear? Can I go? No, you may not. Why not? Because. No kidding, Uncle. Where are you going? I can't tell you, Leroy. It's a military secret. There's no blackout tonight. Leroy. Uncle Mort is having a private alert. Yeah, huh? Take care of the widows and orphans, so don't bother. Yes, yes. Don't forget your flashlight, Uncle Mort. Oh, yes. Got everything, armband, flashlights. Smelling salts. Oh, my helmet. Are you sure you're going to want that? Certainly, why? You'll never get it under a parasol. Oh, is that so? Give me one dozen roses. Heart in beside them and send them to the one. Yes. Mrs. Ransom? Allow me to present myself. Rockmoreton P. Gildersleeve, your air raid warden. That's your service. Well, how much? I just want you to know, Mrs. Ransom, that you can count on me in the blackout. Thank you, Mrs. Ransom. I mustn't stay but a minute, though. You know something, Mr. Gildersleeve. What's that? I reckon it's silly of me, but here I am all alone in this big old house, and when I opened the door just now and saw you standing there, I was just scared. You ought to see me in my gas mask. You probably say that to all the air raid warden. The first thing that comes into my privacy, I mustn't keep you standing here. Step into the parlor, won't you? Just toss your hat on the table, will you? My hat? Oh, thank you. I forgot I was wearing my helmet. I'm afraid this is a bad time to call Mrs. Ransom, but as your air raid warden, I felt it was my duty to stop by and check your defenses. Against incendiaries? Oh yes, of course. Well, I'm afraid I'm practically defenseless because here I am all alone in this big old house in a strange town while... and if one of those nasty old incendiaries was to drop in here right now, I'd... Well, that's what we're here for, Mrs. Ransom. In any emergency, just call on me. Only too glad to run over. You mean that, Mr. Gildersleeve? Oh, absolutely. Anytime, day or night. I live right next door. I can be over here with the sand and shovel and the fine spray and the stuff in half a minute. But I think perhaps I'd better run along now, Mrs. Ransom, and come back another day if there's nothing I can do. Well, there is just one thing, Mr. Gildersleeve, if it's not asking too much. Oh, not at all. I reckon maybe I shouldn't ask it of you because it's so heavy a man would have to be pretty powerful. Oh, can't be too heavy for me. Leave me to it. Well, it's that high boy there. I'm afraid it would take two men to move it, really. Oh, that's easy. Where do you want it? Well, I kind of thought it would look better down at the other end of the room, don't you? Well, we'll soon see. Don't strain yourself now. What's in this? Well, it's full of perfectly priceless old innings that belong to my grandmother Beecham. Oh, you're sure she's not in it? If I do declare you say the most priceless thing. They put plenty of stuff in these old innings. Oh, it's moving. It is? Oh, it's nothing, nothing at all. Once more now. Gildersleeve, I don't know how I can ever thank you. Oh, it's a pleasure, Mrs. Ransom. Well? Oh, before you go, there's just one more thing. Grandma Beecham again? No, but the movers left all the upstairs furniture down here. I don't think you know. I know what they were thinking of. Well, where do we start? Just a minute. What? Before you do that. Yeah? Yes, I'm sure of it. Now that I see it here, I think the high boy looked better where it was before. Oh, brother, this is going to be one of my bad days. Four of the great man's reminiscences in just a few moments, but... Mr. Lang, I'm a firm believer in if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. I get it. You've been trying and trying to buy some parquet margarine and you've succeeded. That's right. Yesterday I walked into my food store and was I surprised to find my favorite spread for bread. Well, now, that's not so surprising. After all, craft is frequently supplying thousands of stores from coast to coast with limited quantities of delicious, flavor-fresh parquet. In fact, we're making all the parquet margarine possible under present conditions and every effort is being made to distribute it equitably. Fair enough, Mr. Lange. Of course, I'd very much like to buy parquet oftener. I'm sure you would. Parquet has such a fresh, country-sweet flavor. Helps provide such good nourishment, too, that millions would like more of this fine quality spread for their bread, toast and rolls. However, with the demand so great, there'll be times during the present shortage when your dealer can't supply you. So if parquet sometimes isn't available, I'd say it's a very good idea to try and try again. Please keep asking for P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine. Paid by craft. Now back to the great gilder slave, his hammock and his memories. The course of true love never did run smooth. And with Lila, well, back in those days, she couldn't seem to settle down. Now, make up her mind. There were always other fellows hanging around. And she'd look at them with those big blue eyes. Well, I finally told her it was them or me. After that, we didn't speak for a while. I remember sitting here on the porch one evening, and it was hot. And I'd phone the drugstore for some aspirin and a quart of ice cream. I was just planning to sit here and eat it all by myself. Marjorie was running around with Ben Waterford even in those days, and out she came all dressed up. Well, all ready for the dance? Don't I look it? You never looked lovely, my dear. What have you done to yourself? Oh, I've changed my hair. I've changed everything. I've changed my type. Mrs. Ransom helped me. Mrs. Ransom? I think you've got too much lipstick on. Well, the evening's young yet. Marjorie, that's not like you. You better get used to it, Uncle Mort. That's the new me. I'm true being a mouse. What do you mean by that? Ben's taking me to the dance tonight, and this time I'm going to see that he doesn't get away. Oh, Mrs. Ransom again? Maybe. Listen, my dear, do you want to grow up to be just a girl that men forget? Have you forgotten Mrs. Ransom? That's neither here nor there. Marjorie, I don't know how to say this to you, but you're getting to be a big girl now. Well, I've tried to be a mother to you. I mean a father. And I guess it's high time somebody took you aside. Uncle Mort, it's high time somebody took you aside. Huh? You're acting like a two-year-old. You're so silly. Here you sit, eating your heart out. Eating whose heart out? And there's Mrs. Ransom over there. She'd love to have you take her to the dance. Why don't you do it? Just because she'd love to have me do it. Oh, man. Oh, my dear, don't you worry about Mrs. Ransom and me. That's all over. I'll just spend the evening along with my thoughts here. You go ahead and have a good time. Don't mind me. You make it sound so sad. Esop, go away. Get down. Uncle Mort. If he tears these stockings, it's the last pair I've got. Esop. Come here, you. Now you stay here with me. Esop will stay with me if nobody else will. Won't you, Esop? Oh, my goodness. Here comes Ben. Oh, my goodness. That's what you've been waiting for, isn't it? Esop, dive in. Where are you going? He's here right now. That girl. She said to tell you, Ben, she'll be out in five minutes. Where have I heard that before? Hi, Mr. Gilligan. Hello, Ben. Nice evening. Yep. Nice evening. Nice moon out. Yep. Nice moon. Oh, isn't that terrible. Well, take your time. Slam the door if you want to. I don't care. Where are you going? Over there. Have a good time, my boy. I will drive you over. Where's your sister? Hi, Uncle Martin. Oh, good night. That was a quick bath, are you sure you're dry? No. I wish you were coming with us. No, I'm afraid my dancing days are over, my dear. But go ahead and have a good time and don't think about me. I'll just sit here. You're not going to just brood about Mrs. Ransom all evening. No, I may have a cigar if I feel up to it. Well, good night. Come on, Ben. Okay. Hi, Mr. Killer, please. Good night. Hi, children. Who's that? Is that you, Judge? Come up on the porch. Have a cigar, Judge. I've got to get home and dress, and then I have a bar association meeting. Bar association? Sitting around with a bunch of stuffed shirts talking about whereas. I've got some ice cream coming later. Thank you, Gilda, but I better not. I had crab for dinner. There's something about crabs and ice cream. All right, you old goat. Go on, go to the bar association. Night, Gilda. Yes, I'm alone. Lila is alone. Maybe I ought to know why, George. I won't. Don't keep Mr. Killer asleep, because I don't know what time I'll be getting in. What? You going out too, Bertie? Yes, I'm stepping out with one of my old reliable. Have a good time. Yes, I will. Everybody have a good time. Put your aspirin in your ice cream before it wasn't round, and I had to pass here anyway. Well, that was nice of you. Don't really need the aspirin now, Pee Dee, but nevertheless... Will you join me in a little ice cream? No, thank you. I'll have to be getting along. Hot night, Pee Dee. Plenty for both of us. Tell you the truth, Mr. Killer Sleep, I've sold so much ice cream, I can't stand the sight of it. That's a fact. Who plays the piano? Oh, new neighbor next door. Bigger name's Ransom or something. Oh, Mrs. Ransom. She was in the pharmacy the other day. She bought some cold cream, as I remember, and something else. I guess it was a back brush. A nice one. Kind of a flashy type, though. I don't know, I wouldn't say that. Well, preserved, you might say. I thought she seemed real nice. You don't know women, Pee Dee. I don't know, I wouldn't say that, either. I married one of them. Been married to her for 20 years or more. That's a long time. Yeah, we have our little differences, of course, like everybody else, but on the whole, well, the answer is, she's waiting right now for me to come home and play Chinese checkers with her, bro. I better be getting along. Well, what's your hurry, Pee Dee? I'm all alone here. I'd like to have you stay and have a smoke. I'd like to, Mr. Killer Sleep, but the wife's got to have her Chinese checkers on Saturday night. Oh, you better put that cream in the icebox and let's you're gonna eat it right away. Good night. Yeah, good night, Pee Dee. Enjoy your game. Oh, you're coming around now, are you, Esop? Like a little ice cream, I suppose. Yeah, well, you deserve it, my son. You're a better friend than some of the people I could name. Yes, Esop. Looks like just you and me this evening. Yeah, yeah. Good ol' Esop. Uh-oh, lady friend. Now, Esop, peeping shirt on. Esop, ice cream. Ice cream, Esop. Esop, come back here. Oh. You two, eh? Well, have a good time. Everybody have a good time, darn it. Yeah, her again. That's a nice old song. Love her come back to me. Ooh, wonder if she means that. She's certainly putting her heart into it. Yelly old man, maybe you have been too hard on that poor little widow. Oh, the poor kid. I can just see her over there with her head on the piano crying her eyes out. And I've done it to her. I can't stand this. I've got to do something. Can it just now? Yes, I heard your rendition. And all of a sudden, what, she'd come down and... Tomcat? Uh-oh, Esop. Well, I can't imagine how he got in, but he was after my little video Bula cat. Well, he jumped up and he chased her right across. That's what that was. I want to tell you, I was just... Father cat's that mean old cat. Call up the society. You just call me, Mrs. Ransom. I'll protect you. Oh, thank you, Throckmorton. My poor little Bula, thanks you too. I guess it's just a case of love me. Love my cat. Here's some ice cream. They are the most thoughtful mine. Always bringing me little things. Well, I'm afraid maybe it's not as cold as it was, though. We'll see. Oop, it's leaking. It's soup. Hanged on my shoe. It's cold, quick. No, there's a whole quart of it. Quick, it's falling apart. Answer to me for this. Oh, never mind, Throckmorton. It's the thought behind it that counts and the thought was lovely. What thought? Just to know that you were thinking of me when you bought it. That's worth more to me than all the ice cream in the world. Lila, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. Let's go somewhere where the ice cream is nicer. Come into the garden, won't you? Yeah, baby, garden. Unexpected. I thought you were going to the bar association. That's what you thought. I thought that I'd invite Mrs. Ransom down the corner for an ice cream soda. She's already... Oh, lovely. Let's all go. I think that would be such fun. Yeah. Are you sure a soda won't unsettle your stomach, Judge? Oh, now, Throckmorton. Come on, shall we? All right, but if we go, I pay for the sodas. Oh, no, you don't. Oh, yes, I do. But I insist. But I insist. There's just one way to settle this, Hooker. Oh, no. What's that, Gildersleeve? We'll pitch pennies. Gentlemen, my father was always... Well, then we let Mrs. Ransom decide. All right. Oh, this is so difficult. You're both lovely boys. But if you insist. Which is it? Who pays for the sodas? Throckmorton. Yeah. Oh, shucks. I get to pay. The Great Gildersleeve will be right back. Now a message of special importance. In your own kitchen and your own backyard, you personally can help save the lives of several people this year. Who are these people? They're helpless, innocent children and tragic victims of war, doomed by starvation in famine-ridden countries. It is largely up to you how much of this suffering and death you will allow. You have a real opportunity to help. In your kitchen, you can help by preventing food waste, by conserving vitally needed foods such as fats, oils, flour and bread. Buy less. Eat less. Waste nothing. In your backyard, your garden can help supply extra food that's so desperately needed. Keep at it all summer. Cultivate. Weed. Follow-up crops. See your garden through to the harvest and then can and preserve your surplus. Remember, the fight against worldwide starvation starts right in your kitchen and in your own backyard. Every now and then, the Great Gildersleeve has an adventure which you folks seem to enjoy so much that you write and tell us we'd like to hear it again. So we're devoting the last three weeks of our season to recalling some of the great man's early escapades. We hope you'll enjoy them. Not me. Next week, Eve Goodwin. Oh, and one more thing. This is Buddy Poppy Week. A buddy poppy is a mighty fine way to dress up your lapel for a mighty fine cause. Be sure you wear one. Good night, everyone. The Great Gildersleeve is played by Harold Perry. It was written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. This is John Lang speaking for the Crab Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. Do the children in your family like cheese? Then you can be sure they like pabstead. It's so rich in mellow cheddar cheese flavor, so easy to digest. Pabstead is a cheese food that contains the nourishing food values of milk and it's simply delicious spread on bread or crackers or melted into a luscious cheese sauce for macaroni. You'll find 100 or more tempting menu uses for pabstead. So buy both delicious varieties. Golden Cheddar Pabstead and Pimento Pabstead. When you shop tomorrow, ask for Pabstead, the delicious cheddar cheese food. This is NBC, The National Broadcast.