 The Narcissist Hoover in you. Named after the vacuum cleaner, this is a technique which narcissists and manipulative people use. It's used to suck you back into the relationship. This is a technique performed through text, email, phone calls, notes, and other people such as the fly monkeys. Other than this it could be through any other form of possible communication with you. The Narcissist is aware of your weak spots, so they will target them to reopen communication. Hoover in is used to ensure you are still sucked into their game. They do not return to you because they care or love you. They are not capable of love. The Narcissist will Hoover you if they believe you are still emotionally attached to them. If you're not, they're not going to waste their time. They will not Hoover you if they know that you can see through their BS. Once you've seen through them, you become a lost cause. You are of no use to them now. They will move on to the new source who does not know what they are really about. The new source is unaware that they are dealing with a narcissist. All they see is this loving caring person with a good personality just as you saw in the beginning. They will even change themselves to appeal to whatever the ideals of the new source are. But because they are so quick to discard, they don't have time to properly measure up the new source. So often in the reckless phase, the Narcissist can get someone pregnant or be pregnant themselves if this is the female Narcissist. Many of them end up with sexually transmitted infections. The standards drop and they are willing to do whatever it takes to secure the new source. They also take pride in their reckless behavior as it is given them a sense of reward from the dopamine hits they are receiving. They usually end up letting themselves go and becoming worse than they were when they were with you. They remember how much better and how much easier their lives were when they were with you. So naturally they've got to come back. They've got to try to get back in the reminisce on the times they had with you. Life was much easier for them. They always see the past as better than it was and they always see the grass being greener on the other side and this happens both when they are with you and when they leave. They found a new source because they thought the grass was greener on the other side but even when they find the new source they still think and the grass is greener back on your side. They realize that you're healing from the abuse so they're trying to come back trying to make you love them again but the truth is they do not love you. They never did because Narcissists are not capable of experiencing real love. The only thing they loved is what you gave to them. They need constant attention and validation. That's why they're all over social media uploading loads of pictures. They also need to feel like they are in control when they are with you. Just remember how they are to gradually take control of everything. Your mind, your body, your soul, your thoughts, emotional state, your beliefs, values, principles and morals, your career, friendships, relationships, hobbies and finances. They have to be in control of your entire life because they are hyper vigilant and believe that you are always out to get them. If you do not allow them to feel like they are in control of you they will discard you but if they do not see an opportunity to get back in and take control of you again they will not hoover you. Going back to them could be one of the biggest mistakes of your life. You will never gain anything with them. You always lose more than you came in with. As soon as you go back to them you have just sacrificed your happiness, your positive energy and your boundaries. If you go back to them all you will get is abuse, manipulation and a distorted reality with no closure. They cannot give you love. They are not capable of experiencing real love. They lack the ability of experiencing a genuine emotional connection and this also makes it impossible to have good sex with a narcissist. The narcissist is self-absorbed and doesn't care about making you feel good. It's all about them. So what good are they? Where is the value in the narcissist? What could you possibly gain from going back to them? How do you protect yourself from the narcissist? Accept that it is not a relationship. It never was. See it for what it really was. You are nothing but a pawn in this sick game. They will never change. They only get better at hiding their true selves and better at their craft of abuse and manipulation. They have no remorse or empathy for what they do. This is what makes them who they are. Thank you for watching. Please like and subscribe. Share this video if you believe it will help someone. If you are interested in one-on-one coaching on recovery from a narcissistic abuse, please contact me at NarcSurvivorCoaching at gmail.com. Talk to you soon.