 The scariest thing about narcissists, as you may know I have dealt with many narcissists in my life some of them were overt narcissists while others were more covert but either way there was something that united them and it made them more noticeable it made them stand out there was something very striking and surprising about them and that is the way that they were all exactly the same regardless of their age gender or what part of the world they were from it was like the same person in a different body they all did exactly the same thing they all had the same personality the only difference was how they looked their physical appearance but at the core they all had the same habits they have the same settled and regular tendencies and practices they all had the same motivations the same arguments or reasons for acting of a haven in this part to get away and they all had the same differences the same disagreements differences of opinions or misunderstandings even though some of them were covert and others were grandiose they all had the same core issue which caused it to turn into an abusive relationship and yet they all made it seem like they don't have a problem they move on to the next person and they seem to be doing great they act confident and accomplished they have this arrogance and entitlement they're self-absorbed that they lack empathy and yet they think there's something desirable and attractive as though they're special and unique they're better greater or different than what is usable they're the only one of its kind so in their minds they're very valuable because in their minds there is no one else like them which is very peculiar and ironic because the reality is that they're all exactly the same there is nothing that sets them apart which explains how I managed to achieve over 40 million views on this channel because no matter what part of the world you're from and regardless of the age or gender of the narcissist that you were dealing with they all act and behave exactly the same way because they all share the same core issue while at the same time appearing as though they don't have a problem as though they're competent organized and prepared and they can behave appropriately and effectively which naturally causes all of their victims to find each other in these communities because we may at first believe that there's something we can change to improve or because we realize that our feelings actions of behaviors do not change the outcome or results our choices and decisions do not have any influence who affect on the narcissist it's ineffective it never results in anything successful productive or constructive which may begin to affect your self-esteem especially when you see them moving on and they seem to be doing fine with someone else which is what they will use to try to prove to you that you're the one who is incompetent or effective it's all an illusion it is in fact they who have the problem they have no sense of self they're very insecure they lack self love and self-care which they try to disguise by being egotistical by acting arrogant and entitled as though they don't care about other people and it's all about them which can be very confusing because it may seem as though they're in love with themselves when in fact they're just in love with their mask they're in love with their false image this disguise that they use to fool people because they want to appear to people in a certain way so that they can feel good about themselves but that's not who they really are they lack self-love and self-care because they're not willing to be honest with themselves and address their problems so that they can help other people and help themselves to heal and change because they're very insecure it's too painful for them to do that because they lack the sense of self they don't feel like they're enough which is why they can't deal with criticism they see it as an attack so now they have to go and blame you or someone else because they don't want to hear it they don't want to feel those emotions because they're insecure about the things they have done they have a void so everything they try to go towards does not make them feel better which is why everything you try to do to please them does not reduce a favorable result it's ineffective because they're never satisfied they can't be satisfied and deep down yes they realize that they have a problem so they wear a mask they pretend that everything is okay they act arrogant when in fact it's the opposite they just don't want you to see it because they're very insecure they lack a sense of self which is why they will use you or someone else to prop up their false reality of them being this wonderful person so that they can feel good about themselves when it's just shared psychosis a fantasy a dream it has no basis in reality which is why they always need other people to validate it so that they can feel less insecure as though that's who they actually are they have all of this guilt and shame which they don't want to reflect on so they don't want you to acknowledge who they actually are unless they can find a way to project it outwards and use it to hurt you because otherwise that would be very painful for them because they're very insecure so when they feel guilt or shame they have to run away from it which means that they never process it they push it away so that they don't have to deal with whatever they're feeling because they don't want to accept that they did something bad or that they're a bad person and instead they wear a mask they act as though they didn't do anything wrong and by doing that it remains at their core to where they always feel like they are bad and when a person feels like they're bad they can't find satisfaction in anything in life they can't experience anything positive or good which is why a lot of times they will discard you first they will ghost you because they don't want you to invalidate or reject them they don't want you to make them feel bad and it may seem like they're running from you but they're actually running from themselves because they don't want to be who they actually are they don't want to reflect on their feelings of guilt and shame or on their fears of rejection and abandonment they would rather just wear a mask if it means that they can avoid their insecurities which causes them to have these coping and defense mechanisms which are hurtful and destructive that other people it's why they're all the same it's why it's like we're all dealing with the same person in a different body because they can't be vulnerable they can't be themselves instead they can only wear a mask and pretend to be something they're not which is why they will often blame you and get very angry at you and they will manipulate and gas like you because they're trying to run away from who they actually are they're running from themselves which is why it seems like they all act exactly the same way regardless of what type of narcissists they are because they're all running from themselves so they're all miserable and dissatisfied because to experience genuine positive emotions you have to be connected to self while narcissists are driven by their own insecurities guilt, shame and rejection which causes them to respond in the way that they do and until they finally acknowledge their actions and they process their emotions so that they can heal, grow and develop nothing is going to change which is why in most cases they remain that way for their entire lives you will never see a more positive or productive side of them because most of them are never going to accept themselves they're never going to accept who they actually are which means that they're never going to accept you and they're never going to deal with you appropriately because they don't even love or accept themselves so how can they accept anyone else how can they experience genuine fulfillment with anyone in their lives which is why most of them will remain the same they're always going to be miserable and dissatisfied they're always going to relate to see shame guilt up in gas like you but you shouldn't worry about it you shouldn't see it as though you've lost this wonderful person which is how they would like you to think so that they can get supply but you shouldn't see it that way because they're not even connected to themselves which you should know from you being able to relate your situation and experiences to my videos because they all act and behave in exactly the same way so they have no identity of their own they have nothing to give all they can do is project their own unprocessed negative emotions and traumas onto you thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at people.me slash narc survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's narcsurvivor.co.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon