 I love the premise of this show. Smart people talking about dumb shit. I think it's dumb people talking about smart shit. Oh, we go where we not supposed to go, baby. The brilliant is podcast podcast. Yep, Charlamagne to God. Andrew Schultz. We are the brilliant idiots. And today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace from websites and online stores, the marketing tools and analytics Squarespace is the all-in-one platform. To build a beautiful online presence and run your business, there are no hidden fees or price hikes. And all websites are optimized for mobile and it's so simple. Start with a design template and use drag and drop tools to make it your own. Head to squarespace.com slash idiot for a free trial when you're ready to launch. Use the offer code idiot to save 10% off your first purchase. Now let's start the show. Our guest today is a multi-talented comedian and actor who has appeared on BET VH1 Comedy Central and feature film such as Soul Plane, Original Gangster, Zoolander and Johnson Family Vacation. He was also a spokesperson for Seven Up during the popular Seven Up Yours advertising campaign. He was also a cast member on the first season of the It Factor, a reality TV show. He was a regular performer at the Comedy Club, Comedy Cell in New York City. He's also known for doing the voices of Mr. Stubborn and Mr. Tall in the Mr. Men's Show and hosting the Fox Game Show, Bullseye. He hosted owns a podcast called and Godfrey We Trust on the gas digital network. He is also known for collaborating with other social media stars such as King Batch and the Storm Power. Godfrey is here. There you go. I appreciate that runoff. God damn it. I love people's bios, man. Especially this stuff, I'm like, why do we care about the Seven Up commercial? You know what the St. Andrews grade school, and also he was on the sucker team at his first time. Give it up for them. How are you, my brother? I'm good, man. Finally made it to you guys' podcast, finally. Nah, man, it's good to have you on the main idiot. Bro, I remember them Seven Up commercials, bro. Yeah, me too. Yeah, that was fun. I ain't go to front. That shit was fun as hell. Yeah, those are huge. Yeah, I remember when I auditioned for that shit, that was when I was on If Factor. That was a Bravo show for Bravo Turn... Bravo was, you know, Bravo was a fine arts film channel at first. Really? Yeah, yeah, before that. And then Our Shit was like the first reality show. If Factor was me, Jeremy Renner, Lisa Ray and a bunch of other people. And they just followed us around New York, whatever. And that's when I auditioned for that. And then I got it on the show, but it wasn't planned at all. Was Tyrese any inspiration to want to be in, like, Total Commercial? Oh, they're singing? Yeah, no. Fuck, no, I just auditioned. They didn't even tell me what it was. It was like, it's a soda thing, but they're not, they can't tell you what the name is. They're like, all right. And so then I, like, went in and then I left. I went to Spain. No, I went to Amsterdam to do comedy. Then went to Spain after that to hang out. Raymond is lot. Raymond is lot. Raymond is lot. Yeah. That means Raymond is late. No, no, no. Did you do Dutch? Did you do? No, so this was kind of before. This was like when I was just starting. But like, I guess in Amsterdam, or the Netherlands in general, they just fell in love with like stand-up comedy. Yes. And they were bringing out all these, like, pretty much New York and Boston-based comics. And they would just go out there and you guys would perform. And it would be on, like, the biggest late show in the country. Yeah. By this guy named Raymond. Yeah. Jurgen Riemen. And he's from Suriname. Suriname are like the Black Dutch people. Wow. Yeah, so he looks, he looks like a Black guy, Asian. He looks, he's like everything in his face. But he would, he was everything. Yeah, yeah, everything. He looked like everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember Black is what, it's Black? It's White. He's in the middle. That's just, he's right here. His own face is just Black. It's just Black is White. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his one face is the whole fucking video. But yeah, he would, he was like the top comedian of Holland. And we did his show, man. Because these guys came in and said, hey, we'd love you guys to come to Amsterdam and do Dutch television in Tony Woods. That's right. Tony was out there. Was the main guy. Very easy. Tony Woods. Have you seen Tony before? You need to bring him on here. Oh, Tony is a legend, bro. You gotta bring him here. Tony is. When you see Chappelle, you see Tony Woods. Oh, Chappelle is the guy, I mean, Tony is the guy who inspired Chappelle. Inspired Chappelle. He was just on, we didn't Tiffany have him on. Tiffany, he was with me. Me, on the day ready, Tony Woods, Dean Edwards. But Tony is so interesting like watching him like set a tone in a room. Oh my God. Yeah, it's just wild. Like you could, you could literally, and I've seen him perform for like old people in the Bahamas and just like kids down in the village. Amazing. Same act. Same Tony set, he's telling stories and you're just sitting there like, I could sit here for three hours. Yeah, let's just tell me about the different parts of the world. Tell me about your adventures there. He's a very internet, he was the first to take me and like Tony Rock overseas. And we were like, wow. And you know, I don't even think Tony lives anywhere, bro. Yeah, I don't think he's always traveling. He's always traveling and always somewhere. And he talks in code. What do you mean? He's not, he was serious. Hey God, you see, you know, you gotta go, ha, ha, hee, hee, ho, and what? Anybody speak Tony Woods? And you just got to listen to Tony and then English will come up and go, so I got that gig for you, man, but you won't remember when you have, what the fuck is that? And then he runs off. Yo, what the fuck? And he goes, what's up, show me what's up? Hey, you see there, man. What the fuck? But you get it, Tony's got to be close to 60, maybe a 57, 58, about that. Yeah, he's just awesome. And he's just one of the smoothest, like you know, there's like comedians who look and go, man, I wish I was that cool. Yeah, we don't do that a lot, too a lot of comedians. But you go, I wish, I wish, oh, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, that's cool though. We know we cool. We see a number of yo, damn, I wish I was that cool. Tony Woods, Greer Barnes. Tony Woods and Greer Barnes, Greer Barnes, another underrated who's one of the most talented comedians. Oh, yeah. You see those two, you go, damn, I wish that was, I mean, I'm a cool motherfucker. Bro, I've seen the cool, I've seen Jesus Christ, these cats. Because I've seen Greer do bits for years. Yeah. And every time, it's hilarious. It's hilarious. In the same bit. In the same bit. But it's the coldest I go. And we're all sitting in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do no new shit. Bro, he's underwater. And he's acting out the whole scuba diving thing. The scuba diving thing. He's doing scuba diving bubbles and shit. And you're like, and you're like, wow. How does he do that? I'm going scuba diving. I'm going scuba diving. This is no more interesting. And he has a gun. And underwater, yo, and he does the Batmobile shit. He's just so good. But when he gets on stage, we'll get on stage and go, well, what's up? This motherfucker gets on stage and goes, yay. Yeah. Yay. Because he doesn't want to be up there. He just goes, great. Oh, good. And you just go, that's the coolest shit. Come on, go up there and go, what up? What up? Y'all happy to be there? Yeah, we're excited. He's like, I'll do this. Bro, I remember seeing Tony. I think he put it on some special assembly. So I'm not giving away any of his material. But I saw him go up one time and he was up there and he's just like, he's not even talking. He's looking around. He's like, y'all start working right when you get to the job? Right. Right. He goes, you guys don't start right away. Bro, just badass. The best opener. The best badass. This is super rare, just seeing two comics give it up. Like, that's how special these guys are. That's how special. You talk about when you see craftsmanship. Yeah. You go, fuck, sculpture. That's like sculpting type shit. And I remember one time and Tony does like, he's from the urban circuit. I met him in Chicago, but he'll do everything. He'll do anything. He can do it. But I've seen him in the New York urban, like, like early 2000, late night, it was urban circuit in New York was just Timbalands, Pele, Pele, everybody was like, yo, what's up? Yo, you ever seen what you fucking a bitch in the ass? Good night. Yo, give it up to my man, Cornbread. This is my man, Cornbread from Brooklyn. Then the next dude, come up. Yo, my man, high sauce. Yo, you ever see another bitch when you hitting her in the ass and then some shit come out of booty? Good night. Yo, give it up for my man, high sauce. The next man, give it up for chicken wing. Yo, you ever see a bitch who's fucking an eyeball, her eye fall in the toilet? Good night. Good night. You didn't do no fucking. Oh, yeah. He fucking a stool, right? I'm flipping the stool. Bam, bam. It's not even the girl. And people, and this is, and cats are like this. All you see is Timbalands in the ass and Pele, Pele jackets. And you smell like, you smell like Egyptian oil and jigs with hats. Everybody look like Rockham and my face is like, yo. And then after all that, everybody's screaming at the top of their fucking lungs. Tony Woods comes out. After 700 comics. Because there's 700 on the flyer. Yeah. Yeah, but you know those, those hermit shows, they'd be like, the collages. And it's like nine. And then Tony Woods would be in the back like, and Tony Woods. He'll get on stage. Everybody after Kool-Aid, cornbread, chicken wing. Nobody has their regular names. And Tony Woods. After all those names. Wildcat, Big Head, fuck no. Hell no. All their names. Tony Woods. And Tony Woods after all that chaotic shit. I've been to these shows. He'll go, hey, what's up, everybody? Give it up for all the other comedians. They just came here, you know, a lot of energy, man, a lot of energy. See, everybody was like, oh. He said, me? I'ma go, whew. What murders. What destroys the room? I go, you talk about mastery? Yeah. That's my big brother, man. That's our big brother pretty much. That dude is fucking master. Sluice and Tony Andrews said something earlier, man. I've never even thought about it, but. Comedian? I didn't know that y'all said tones. I just thought that. I just want to go out there and make people laugh. No, it's like boxing. It's like, when I would, when I first would go to the, I remember going to Pacquiao's gym with Adam Hunter. And when I was in LA. Wildcard. Wildcard gym, right over that, the laundry, man. That's what I loved. It was so grimy. And so I was going, yeah, you know, fucking Roach. Freddie Roach. Freddie Roach, his brother Pepper Roach. I go in there, you know, and I was like, I'ma go in. The guy goes, hey, all the boxing dudes that coach, they've been, they are, you, they boxed. Yeah. By the way, they told you, hey, you want to do some mitts? Yeah. Mints, I said, yeah, man, go in there and shit. You know, James Tony is there. James Tony. Oh, wow. There's Pacquiao. I've seen all this. Yeah. You watching these great fighters and I'm thinking, yeah, I'ma do some mitts and shit. Yeah. I go in there. My idea of boxing in my head, I haven't boxed. I didn't martial arts. I haven't boxed boxed. I think you boxed, right? A little bit. Yeah. I go in there and he goes, all right, this is what you're going to do. Okay. We're going to go boom, boom, right? Jab, jab. Boom, right. Jab, jab. Boom, right. And then, uh, so I was like, so I started right away doing this. I started bouncing. And I said, boy, he goes, what the fuck are you doing? I said, what do you mean? What the fuck is that? I said, what do you mean? What the fuck is that? And I go away. And all the boxers joined us. They're like, yo, hey, comedian, what the fuck are you doing? They're all making fun of me. Why are you doing this? I said, but isn't that what do you do with the boxing? And that's, that's, I hear you guys punching like that. So I was, he goes, listen, you, you're not a fucking boxer. He's breathing normal. He's breathing normal. I said, oh, he goes, he goes, hey, yo, hey, hey. I'm getting embarrassed, so I'm like, fuck. So I got my gun. He goes, all you do, just breathe normal, bang, bang, bang. So I start bouncing. He goes, what the fuck are you doing? I go, wait, like, he's like, you're not Ali. Ali was a freak of nature. He's like, you're like a heavyweight. All you do, keep your head to here. What the fuck is this? And I go, oh, wow. And then I'm hitting the back. Bam, he goes, you hit like a bitch. Let's do that over. He got all the muscles, man. The motherfucker can't do shit. And they're like this. And so I'm punching, they go, punch with your legs. I'm like, how the fuck do I punch with my legs? How do you punch with your legs? It's your coming off. Your hips, yeah, yeah. Your hips. And remember, I'm coming in watching TV for years. Watching Rocky. Right, punch with your legs. Yeah, you're like these guys. And the guys are like, drop your goddamn leg. And then I go, boom. And they go, hooray, he did it. And you hear the dip. And I go, oh, and it's such a real science. That is how people approach. Like you were talking about with comedy. You were like, I thought people just, going in swinging. Comedy's a real science, bro. It ain't no guessing. People think it's a guess. Fuck no. It is a craft. It's just like boxing. People approach comedy like they will approach boxing. Like, yeah, it's all just arms. It's your legs. It's the, it's the small movements. It's just like in comedy. The nuances. And if you do it right, then people think that they can do it. It's like, it's like Ali. Like Ali was so natural that you see people mimicking Ali. And they'll just start doing that thing where they're like skipping around the ring and moving the hands. But it's like the amount of training he had to do to be able to have his footwork like that. Yes. So I would never understand that though. I would never understand how somebody can be so great at something so good, so naturally gifted, but inspire everybody else who want to do it. Bro, it is, it is, it's almost wild, disrespectful. Like you never do a show. You're like, bro, that was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. I'm going to try that. Oh, what? That's not what this is for. What do you mean? Or they go like, I love this one when they do this after a show. They go, man, blah, blah, blah. They're talking and then they say something funny. They go, you can use that. I go, I'm not ever going to use that. Fuck out of here. Fuck out of look like. I'm never going to use that. See that's me. Andrew is more, that's why I love Andrew's shows. Andrew goes in the audience and smashes on motherfuckers. See, Andrew is such a great crowd worker. Him, Jay, Oakerson, there's guys that master. I'm more of just, I just do my material, but I fuck with someone, fucks with me. Yeah, you talk to him. But you, yeah, oh no. Andrew goes, hey you, what the fuck? He just, he's right away. He's that guy on the stooping in the Italian neighborhood. Hey yo, come here you fucking big head. Where the fuck you get those shoes from? Who said you guys could move in here? That's really him in real life. That's him? He was on the phone with Andrew the other night. Oh God, this is fucking a bad. He was like 11 o'clock at night, we talking. All I hear is him go, the fuck you going to? The fuck you going to do, motherfucker? Then he goes, I live here. So you gotta see me every fucking day. Are you serious? What the hell are you talking about? I can't, what are you learning? Was it a cat? Was it a cat? No. Was it a dog? This fucking guy who lives across the street from me. He, I have my headphones and I'm talking to that Charlemagne and I thought he said bitch to me. You thought? So he goes, I thought he, I heard bitch but I'm talking to Charlemagne. I go, what you saying? And I took the headphones out and he goes, do the time. I go, oh yeah, yeah, it's 11 30. And I put the headphone back in and I hear bitch. And I go, what the fuck? I take the headphone out. I go, I go, what you saying? He goes, no I just want to know the time. I just told you the fucking time. I said it's 11 30. I said that and I started walking away. And I hear a bitch but I say, Charlemagne, don't talk for a second. And all I see is he goes, bitch, bitch, I'm half waiting on a block. I got my dog. It's a fucking golden doodle. It's not that tough, right? So I see why he called me a bitch. Maybe I'm putting this shit together. I'm like, who do you think you can disrespect me because I got a fucking golden doodle right? I'm half waiting on a block. Bro, I fucking turned around. I get out run straight at this guy. Hands open. Oh, that looked like get out. Then get out sprinter. Exactly. I did that shit. I ran right at that motherfucker. He went inside. Close the door. Close the door. Through the glass. Bitch. Bitch, what the fuck is that? What you gonna do? What you gonna do? I live here. So you know what that means? You go see me every fucking day. Yo. What the fuck? Crazy person. I told him where I live. You know what I'm saying? This guy can have a gun. This guy can call police on me. That's us. That's your neighbor about me. That's your neighbor. No, that's your neighbor. You better ask about me. You better ask about me. My boy lives in this building. So I'm gonna ask, ask you. That shit, what the fuck? Yo, you know what's so funny? Yo, you gotta set a tone in the neighborhood, bro. We're not yet. You gotta set a tone, bro. It's my neighborhood, bro. If I'm walking a doodle on the street, I'm gonna be respected. My doodle, baby. I got the doodle in the hand. Yo, I got the doodle in the hand, baby. Now me ain't doing me. Yo, it's just like in NIAC. We were just in NIAC. We did 11E Live. I already, I already was with me. And so, man, we're so hungry. We're at McDonald's. We're like, fuck, did you go to McDonald's? We said, already who? Already Fuqua. Oh, Fuqua. I was like, already laying. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Keem Woods. And we're like there, just this weekend. And we're starving, man. So he's like, this shit's going to McDonald's. Fuck that. Boom, we going to McDonald's. Dude's taking our order. Man, I hope you know that. We're like ordering and then he just goes, man, y'all taking too long, man. The fuck, man. Like, in the thing. We say, y'all taking a little while. We're starving like, yo, the guy in the speaker. We're like, yo, you know, already is a temporary. He's like, man, the motherfucker. And we're in the line still. So he's like, wait till we get to this motherfucker, man. We have to wait. Make sure he gets your food first. Yo, I was like, already, don't smash. Don't smash. And so people are hungry. And already is like telling another car, yo, shut the fuck up. He skipped us. And you hear his voice on the other side because he skipped us and went to another customer. We're like, this motherfucker, man. And it was like, go. And we pulled up to him. Dude, look like he just got out of jail. We're like, hey, man, we were about to snap. Like he said, I was like, nah, nah, we good. You ever see him over and look at your whoop, your ass? Like, oh, yo, my man, what happened, man? He got nothing to lose, man. Yeah, he's like, y'all was taking too long, son. My bad, but you won't stick with that. Yeah, we were. Why it's just so long to know that McDonald's though? I don't know. I don't fucking know. It was just, I don't know. Shit is niac. I don't fucking know. You know what you want. It's not like you're like, the fuck. So what is the tone? What is the tone? Comedians try to say it differently. Like people that come to see him are people with his same kind of mentality. People that come to see me. Manic energy. It's like, look at any comedian. You can always ask the wait staff. They go, OK, when this person comes in, I don't take that shift because they're the most rowdy motherfuckers because they match the comedian. Like you say like a Burt Chrysler. That's one of my dudes for a long time. Yeah. Everybody looks like Burt. Yeah. They look big, heavy staff. They love working to Burt shift because when he was doing the clubs, he would do that thing at the end where he would do. Get money or something. It was a tip jar where like the people in the crowd would beat the tip. So it's like, if you put in five, someone put in 10, someone put in, and then there'd be all this money. He just give it to the wait staff. Yeah. So the wait staff would walk out, pay in their fucking rent for the month. Yeah, he's a nice guy. He's a great dude. And he's, but people that if he comes, they look like him, bearded, happy guys. The cigarette, everybody matches there. Like my, my club. Is there aesthetic or energy? You're aesthetic or energy. They kind of, yeah, you kind of bring. So that tone, you said, like, or if you're at MC, you set the tone in the room too. You could fuck the tone up or you could keep it like, all right, let's keep it moving. My man coming up or you can ruin the shit. Yo, this next motherfucker. Yeah. Now you've got to dig yourself out. Yeah, yeah. I just, yeah, I just feel like, I feel like at least with comedy, like the people that I've always looked up to is like, when they're on stage, not only do they like set a tone with an energy, they set a tone was right and wrong. So there's certain comics they're on stage and they might say a joke and that makes the audience feel uncomfortable because they didn't set the tone for that joke to be okay. Right. But the comics, you know what I'm saying? But the comics that we look up to, we admire, at least I assume, don't let me speak for you, but like they go up there and then anything they say is okay because it's a reflection of what they've allowed to be okay in the space. They own the space. Yeah. And as you get more successful, like the people have an expectation they're coming to your show to see what that's good to, which is awesome. I love that. Like I didn't like in the beginning, having to flip all these people and get them to understand who I am in three minutes so I could do 12 minutes of jokes. Like, you know, you want to work towards this thing where you're able to create the art that you want to create. Right. But it's like, yeah, that's what I've always wanted to do. It's like, what is the tone? Everything that I'm talking about, I'm joking about in this moment while I'm on stage is okay. When you go back to your job, that shit might not be okay. Right. You felt it in the room, like from radio city. Even afterwards, you were telling me like, I don't know how we were laughing and some of the shit we were laughing at. But now it makes sense. We came to see Andrew Schultz. But he built that to make it okay. Yeah, exactly. He built it. It's like, you got to go through the scrutiny to make it okay. Because in the beginning, that's right, it's going to be scrutinized when people know about you. And then eventually, they'll give a fuck. They can start to go, oh, that's what he does. That's what he does. And one of the things that like I have, at least everybody is reflected in my crowd. So if I'm talking about you, you're there. There are certain people, if their crowd just looks like them, they can't really talk about people that aren't there, at least in a critical way, because people start going, well, I feel uncomfortable laughing at someone laying in the room. But if we talk about Middle Eastern people and they're right fucking there, it's hard to be offended on behalf of the people laughing. Especially if you see them laughing too. Right, right. That's what you, that's the goal, man. You want people to come for you. Like, I come to see this motherfucker. Yeah, I know what I'm here for. And that's, you build on that. But you build that too, like. Yeah. I think that that's something that maybe that's why comedians have always resonated with you is like, there's a tone you sit on breakfast club that made things okay that you would say the wildest shit are the funniest fucking things. Like, and it was Charlotte main, so it was okay. That's a tone set. If any try to say some of them jokes, it wouldn't work. Right. Right. The baby thing, fuck me, that was the best. What was it, the baby? When he comes in, there's it, no, I'm sorry, Birdman. Oh, Birdman. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of babies out there. Yeah. Yeah. Little babies, spat babies, thank you, baby. All kinds of babies. You came in, gang, I was gonna run up and he's like, wow, that's where you're getting run up on Rick Ross, did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. I was like, Charlotte mains that. Dude. And you fucked him up. He's like, but yeah, he was like that. That was just like, okay, it's eight of them. Yeah, but the way you're really bad about putting hands on me. The way you handled it though, it was like, that's a tone setting. Like, yo, I'm just the radio guy. Fuck you doing it. Like that was like, whoa. I thought the funniest shit, I'm sure you acknowledge it by now, but this was tone setting for me. Yeah. Was the dolls in the background. Do you know about the dolls? Like voodoo dolls. Nah, there was an envy doll in a Charlemagne bobblehead doll in the background of the set. And they would be in gay sex positions every single. Yo, what the fuck was that? They'd put them there and they've never acknowledged it, but they would put them in different for months. And they never acknowledged it. It was the comments were going crazy. Yo, they 69 in the back. Who's doing this? And then the booty, remember the booty he made it. Oh yeah, we had the booty. But for me, I'm watching this and I'm like, yo, the hip hop is just coming around to gay jokes being funny. You know what I mean? Like it took a while and now it's coming around. But you guys did that and you leaned in and it became hilarious. And it was like, cause you set a tone. Right. That's hilarious. There's certain people that aren't going to be able to get away with that in your position. I really was just being an asshole just because I know it pisses people off. You know, we got that hip hop audience that'll watch that and be like, oh, they pushing an agenda. I told you they're in the alumni. Okay, that's why all of this stuff keeps happening good for them. Cause they're pushing to get agenda. I just really do it just to fuck with people. Right, of course. I'm telling you, bro, like there's like, there's a version of like, there's a version of black people and a version of like extreme white conservatives that have all the exact same views. I'm telling you, bro. Absolutely. We need like broker a peace treaty. Absolutely. It's true. I ain't taking that vaccine. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, if there was no labels or people didn't have their tribe that they was already down with and they just actually listened to each other. Just talk to each other and be like, oh, shit, brother fucks, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get what you're saying. I remember when the, what the, I think that it was like the Nazis got with the nation Islam. And they were like, yeah, we don't want to be around you either. Yeah, let's do this. And then they were like, wait a minute. No, yeah. They were like this, the nation is, cause they were like, the nation is like, no, let's have a meeting. They met together. And they were all the Muslim like, this is perfect. We don't like you. You don't like us. We believe that we should have a separate place. I love this. They were like, what? Yes. We don't, good. But they fucked them up cause like we were like, yeah, we don't want to be around you. We want our own shit. And they're like, hold up. No, mother fuckers, it's it. You don't want it. But then they come in and fuck it all up. It's like, what? It's actually the same message. They wanted separation, not segregation. Right. And that's what the white supremacists wanted. They wanted separation, not segregation. The white supremacists are like, this dude's spitting right now, man. Where they want to go? I forgot something. It's like, and when we, whenever we say that, yeah, black people, we want our own shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on now. No, we want our own shit. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I always say segregation was a great concept that was poorly executed. Poorly executed, exactly. It should have been based on race. Right. It should have been based on, I think it should be based on behavior. That's true. I think it should be based on athletic ability. We fucked what he's like, baby. Like this thing. It should be based on. Inspired. Inspired. So how good do white people need to dance in order to go to the black political building? It's not even about good or bad behavior. It's just about, do we have the same type of mind? It should be based on handshakes. Come on, bro. Right, oh yeah, y'all ain't staying here, man. Fuck out of here. Yo, you got to audition white people dance. You need to audition this, man. I don't think you can belong in this town. I don't know. There'll always be that one white dude like, fuck me, I don't look much. I'm looking for two motherfuckers. Get over here. Yeah, come on, shit. But Chet would be in the neighborhood, right? I don't like saying that to the cook out, but he'd be in the neighborhood. Yeah, of course. You know what I'm saying? Of course. And we're standing or we basing it off. Yeah. Oh, that's the other thing. Whose behavior on standing or we basing it off? Ooh, that's for 100. All right, go with your idea. But that's why I said, for me, it'd be about like minds. Ah, yes. That's it. If it's a hundred of us who just we fuck with each other, we down for each other, we believe in these certain things, we going to set up shop over here. Man. Now, what if the women don't disagree, but they're beautiful? If the women don't agree, but they're beautiful. They're not like minded, but they're absolutely beautiful. I'm married, bro. I'm a black man. Don't cheat. I don't know what you're talking about. Well, what about the other black guys that are going to be on your I'm saying I wouldn't have no single guy there. I'm married. It'll be married men. I heard that. Single people don't hang out. Yo, this man. You're both married men, that's right. That's a recipe for disaster. You're both married men. It is true. I don't want to be married. Also, you know what? I hate since I'm married. Anybody goes, my partner grew up. Oh, my God. That's what the fuck up there. Yeah, it's like. No, it is. That's what you say. The old battleaxe. Let me tell you about the old battleaxe. Daniel's fucking battleaxe. He's fucking yapping again. She's fucking yapping again. Jesus Christ. The old battleaxe is yapping. Let me go to the grocery store. The old battleaxe is yapping. Dude, that's funny. That was if white comedians had cool names in the 80s. The old battleaxe. Hey, give it up for battleaxe. I got to get out of the old battleaxe, yes. Yo, the old hag is howling. I got to get out of here, then. I love this lady, man. I think it's her partner, yo. It's just why. He's like, get married, bro. And it's not specific enough. Partner in what? Huh? Partner in what? My partner. What's your partner in it? My partner. It's my partner. Yeah, call him your roommate. You don't even get to say partner. That's your fucking roommate, bro, until you grow up. Like an adult and get married. I freaking go hard on you. Yeah, you got to go through this shit, too. Yo, my man's, yo, it's my man's right here. Yo, imagine your girl calling you your man's. Yo, that's my man's. That's how New Yorkers call their girls. Yo, that's my man's right here. That's my man's right there, dude. That's my done right there. That's my, that's my man's right here. Well, it is 2022. They do have a man lady, my school. That's my man. Yo, that might be his man. That's facts, bro. I don't know what, I don't know what you're gonna find out. I love it. Yo, what? I'm binary, you know what I mean? Doing things. Binary, cis, shit. By the way, I'm cis, nary, bi, dude. If you pronounce it with a Z, it's gender specific. It's not gender specific, anyway. What you mean? My man's. My man's can be anything. My man's. It can be a woman, a man. My man's. That's true, man. My man's. My man is in woman. So fuck, that's how fucked up men are. We fucked all their shit up. We, if they made. Woman, yeah, we still here. You know what I mean? You can't leave us. We still here. Woman, you better change that, you know what I mean? You better change it to woman, because man is right there. Women haters, they gonna win. Women, man, we in there again. Plural, right? We always in there. Man, that would be binary. Oh, man, that's right. I don't know. Man, I don't fuck. Man, terms. What you about people showing up places exactly why I hate outrage culture, right? What you mean? Because I know what's happening at an Andrew show. I know what's happening at a Godfrey show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why would I go just to be offended? Because. Don't go there, because. That's why he telling people about January 6th is like, that was our shit. You know what I'm saying? Like that was for us, bro. I had nothing to do with y'all. Y'all so upset about it. I was there with my man's in that, you know what I'm saying? Low, low key though. Low key, low key. Yo, the boys can't come together. Low key, low key. January 6th, there's a lot of, there's a lot of envy there. Because if anybody should have snapped a long time ago and did something like that, it's black people. Word. You know what I'm saying? So you're looking at it like, but see if we had the community, we all were on the same page about shit. I don't fuck with this government either. We would all rush it. We would all rush it, but we would have been the first because we were faster. Y'all would have been there quick. Y'all would have been on a fifth. We would have been sprinting and all white dudes like, come on guys. Damn you guys are fast. It would have looked segregated. We would go by speed. You know, there will always be that one white lightning guy keeping up. Damn, this guy's fast. Two groups of people completely separated. I would make this while we call it a race. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Y'all, we're women that how long we take this? The reason why people come to comedy clubs, knowing that they what you're for, because being offended is a hobby now. No, it's a job. It's their thing, right? It's like, and it's like narcissism, man. It's at a level, man. Yeah, I don't like cat the fuck up. And that's the beautiful thing about comedy. You go, oh, shut the fuck up about that. That's the beautiful thing about comedy. You can tell someone to shut the fuck up and not get fired. Yeah, so everybody's fucked up and get money for that. It's right up, no, for real. Shut the fuck up and they're paying to go. That was great, sir. Have you ever had a comedy like that? When you told that girl, she has a big forehead. Yo, here's your money, man. Good job. Come back next year. All the people around, that was the greatest thing I ever saw. You ever have moments on stage where you're like, yo, this is why we get to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You start philosophizing a little bit on stage. That's a dangerous thing to do even on stage because you realize how silly this whole thing is. It's so silly, right? It's the whole process of a mother fucker is coming into a room to ha ha and go home. Don't even think about it. They just want to go out and get, we need y'all. So they can go, we need y'all. You want to go home now? And that shit, and you don't know me. And I'm like, I got some funny shit to tell you. That's why there's things that don't make sense, but when it feels good, it does. There's something about, exercise fucking sucks. And then afterwards, you're like, I'm so glad I did it. That's how I look at laughing, even with friends or a comedy show. You go there, and some people, you think you're, oh, this is this philosophical point of view about whatever, if they give you them philosophical points of view and they don't make you laugh, you're not happy. You're not leaving like, man, I really got some philosophy to angry. But if you get that laugh out, that fucking cathartic moment, if there's something that happens, bro. If these motherfuckers ain't giggling, imagine, this motherfucker didn't make me giggle, man. I'm pissed. I'm fucking mad. Like, you didn't make me. I like a good mom in there. I'm not gonna lie. Oh, Charlotte ain't lovable. You like comics or bomb. I do, I like a good mom. I'm like, he's a comic, bro. I'm telling you, he's a comic. Because most civilians, they hate seeing a bomb. Charlotte sees a bomb and he gets bricked up. He's so fucking happy. I liked the, there was one car. I like when comics that are, I like when hacks bomb. I like when comics that think they're shit with a hacky shit bomb. This dude did it on my show. I let him on my show, let him do a couple minutes. He rocked, he rocked his little, it was hacky as fuck. He did all right. He did cool at first. Then he was real confident. Can I get on the show again, you know what I'm saying? And we was like, yeah, cool. You go, and he was like, man, I don't know if certain cast can follow me. I was like, oh, I was like, he just came out of the blue and said that about one comic. Another comic was going to go on. He goes, you sure you want to go after me? Whoa. He went up and ate his dick and we enjoyed it. He, and he was, and you know, when you do well, yo, you know, when you, you know, when you, you know, when you do well, you still, you hang around the club. He was out. Oh, he's like, I got, I got, I got another gig. Why don't you go wash out your dry mouth? You jackass, you're out of here. Some water for that dry mouth. He's like, I gotta go. I was like, yeah, here's some water for that fucking cotton mouth, your bomb. Beat it. Yeah. Yeah, I love. I enjoy that when I see hacks, but yeah, because let me be. I'm going to be real honest. Yeah. Mediocrity is the fucking mode of the day. It's like it's just it's just too much mediocrity and comedy to me. I think a lot of it, a lot of Ted talks going on. Yeah. Lot of fucking Ted talks. I rather start a podcast if you want to do a real Ted talk. Yeah. Do a real, just put Ted on the back. Ted X thing. It's great. Put Ted X. It's fun. If you go to the comedy club, put a Ted X thing and we won't expect no punch lines. Cool. Yeah. But don't fucking come to the comedy club and you're just fucking talking and where's the fucking punch line? You're going to tell me we did it wrong. You remember, tell me, Carlin did it wrong. Cogni did it wrong. Pryor did it wrong. Joe Rivers did it wrong. All these Bernie Mac did it wrong. No, they did not. I think a lot of people are watching Chappelle's last 30 minutes of his show. So they'll watch him. You'll go to Chappelle's show and you'll see the show. And you're like, I want to read the first line. But then when the show is over, Chappelle will stick around. Oh, yeah. And do 30 minutes, 40 minutes of just talking. 30, 40. Two hours. Yeah. Listen, I know the show is over, but it's still I want to bring my friends on stage. Oh, when you saw what he did, I want my friends to sing some songs. We got John Mayer. He's going to sing some songs. Then we got some other people. Oh, shit. Got another pet. Talib Kwalees. And we got some other people. Got a whole bunch. We're going to have a whole concert. And after the concert, I'll do another hour because I can't leave without just me talking. I heard. I heard from Nome at the Congress. So I gave you a great compliment. He goes, you know, Daryl Hammond, SNL. Oh, yeah. He goes, Daryl Hammond's would work his impressions for like weeks to try to get them down. He'd work them. He'd go up at the cellar. He'd work them out. He'd tweak and things trying to get. He goes, God free would hear somebody once and do a better impression than Daryl. That's a gift, man. I like you didn't even work it. It feels like. And I got rejected by SNL three times. Yeah. That's a lot about this. What was the matter with you? I went. I remember. My first audition is. Why did you never get SNL? I'm trying to understand what's funny is Daryl Hammond ended up telling me why you say I. What was the reason? Well, when I first did it, it was me, Tracy Morgan, Kevin Jane. It was a bunch of Jimmy Fallon. It was all of us. Talent. There's talent. And we're at the comic strip. And they was like, you need four characters and four impersonations. Yep. So I did some characters and shit. I did impersonation. Then I added an extra impersonation just to top that bitch. I did Johnny Carson because I'm a black dude doing Carson. I was like, wow, did not know that. Good stuff. I had a standing ovation. My first audition. I said, I'm coming from Chicago. I grew up watching Eddie Murphy. I'm thinking, I might get this shot. I got a standing ovation, bro. Didn't even make it to the second round. What happened? They ended up picking Tracy. I didn't make it to the second round. And everybody's like. So they weren't going for impressions? No, no. They told me what I needed to do. They gave you the instruction. Yeah, but that's the same for everything. Maybe it was a casting thing because Tracy, they're going for character, right? Tracy's always playing Tracy. Well, right. But I just don't understand even after that. I want the one new black at a time. Yeah, it was. What is this rule you speak of? I wouldn't probably recall this. What is going on over here? What is this rule you speak of for the past 100 years? What is all of this? You'll take what we give you. Is you ain't my baby. Baby, baby, please don't let me down. OK, I'll see you, Tom and Jerry. So I'm years later. I'm doing this table read with Colin Quinn. Yeah, me, him, Rachel, Sans, Tracy, Morgan's there. It's like at the studio and it's Colin needed a favor from me. Yeah. And I was like, he goes, I need you to read some of these characters. You know, you know, you do these characters. You know, I don't fucking care. I was like, all right. He's like play a Dominican Russian. But so I did all the accents. But I'm just doing my I'm just helping him out. Yeah, because Adam Sandler is supposed to produce this film. He wrote and then I see Marcy Klein. I didn't know who she was. Marcy Klein, Calvin Klein's daughter, who was the she was the person that got everybody into into SNL. Gotcha. It was Marcy Klein. Yeah. So I didn't know who the fuck this lady was. I was just sitting there reading and this lady, blonde lady, she's like, who are you? Who are you? I was like, God, I'm just here reading. She goes, I need your information. And I'm like, who the fuck is this lady? Yeah. Fucking Marcy Klein has Marcy Klein. She gets people that she's the casting person now. I was like, oh, she goes, the way you're transitioning out of these acts, she said, I need your information. I was like, OK, I was William Morrison time. And I said, OK, fuck it. And then I gave him information. Never got in return. Nothing back, nothing back. And I was like, OK, this is not for me. And then there was a guy named T. Sean Shannon. He was a writer for SNL. He used to be a seller guy. And he was a writer for SNL. And he was like trying to get me to audition again. I go, dude, I've been rejected. I think they don't fuck with me. I was like, why are you I'm not doing it. Then Jamie Masada, you know, from Laugh Factory. Yep. He calls me and he goes, Jamie Masada owns Laugh Factory in LA. He owns a bunch of Laugh Factory. But he goes, buddy, he's from Persia. He's a Persian Jewish cap that has the worst accent. He'd been there in America 50 years and his accent still fucked up. He'd be like, buddy, you have to come audition for SNL, buddy. I need you to audition. I fly you out to LA, buddy. You can do it. I know you can do it. You have to, buddy. You have to. I said, Jamie, I'm not doing it. I've always really been to reject fuck all that shit. That's when they gave it to Finesse Mitchell that year. I didn't audition. So Darryl Hammond comes up to me and said, you know, Darryl didn't talk to a lot of people. Yeah. It's always to himself. But he always talked to me. He goes, God, I just want to. I've been wanting to tell you this shit for fucking a while. I said, what's up? He goes, I was there at your audition that night. You got that standing ovation. Nobody could follow that after that. You decimated the whole place. I said, he goes, but I knew you weren't going to get it. I was like, what do you mean? I knew you weren't going to get that shit. You just, they didn't want to see that Eddie Murphy shit again. Oh, he kept it 100 with me. Like they didn't want somebody to have that type of test again. They didn't want. The show is the star. The show is the star, not. He told me this. He goes, I'm telling you as a white man who's been on the show a long time. Yeah. I'm telling you. And I didn't ask him to tell me this shit. This is at the bar at the cellar. He goes, I've always been wanting to tell you that. I'm sure you always want to closure on that. I say, yeah, man. I've always wondered. I just knew. I said, I knew anytime. Even explain what you mean by that for people. He said, but explain what he meant by that. He said, you just outshine. It would be an outshining type of thing. And they're not into that. Because Eddie Murphy, literally. I mean, yeah, he's a lightning bolt. He was, but at the time, it was like a different producer, Dick Ebersole. And I think SNL was in like third place. And then when Eddie got there, went straight to number one. And he was the only cast member that hosted while he was on the show. I mean, think about that. He was the only one. The legend hosting the show. You're already on. You're already on. And he has to be. That's respect. That's respect. Because Eddie was that cold. Yeah, you know, that's what I understand. And that's part of the legend of SNL. The fact that they churn out so many superstars. Yeah, but this is what Daryl told me. I mean, I was like, but I had closure. I was like, so he goes, there's so many levels to this. He just wanted to tell me that there's people above Lauren Michael, too. I said, oh, yeah. And he was just breaking it down to me. He's been on the show for 15 years. He told that shit to me. But you can live with that. At least there was closet. But I already knew that wasn't my thing. It wasn't going to happen. So yeah, it was weird. Because people were like, how are you not on a sketch? But shout out to Michael Che. And him like hooking me up. Oh, did you do a lot of stuff with that? I did the first thing. I did the one thing with you. Remember, it was a party scene? Yeah, shows was in there, too, but I watched it. I did the Steve Harvey. I did the Steve Harvey. I'm in prosthetics. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. I wanted them to let you go mortal. Your ass survey said I'm told your ass. Your ass, stupid. That's what I told you, dumbass. That shit was so funny. Man, Michael Che, man. Shout out to Michael Che. He got his shows out now on HBO. You can watch it on HBO Max. And I did first season. I did two really good sketches. That damn Michael Che. That damn Michael Che. I didn't mean to. I never watched it before. Right. I was going to watch the second season, but I must have started on the first season and didn't realize it. And the episodes are so quick. Yeah. Man, yo, Che's show is very good. And Che, very good. Loves just talent and people shining. And then shout out to Nick Cannon, too, man. I've been doing, I didn't want to do Wildin' Out. Because I was like, oh, that ain't for me, dude. He goes, dude, are you out of your fucking mind? You've got to do Wildin' Out. So I've done season 16, 17. I just did 18s coming out June 21st. And he goes, dude, we set it up for you to do, to impersonate all that shit. Shout out to fucking Nick Cannon, because Nick likes to see people shine. He's just like, he goes, I'm a boss, bro. He goes, I don't want to intimidate. I like to get better. I love talented people. It makes me better, because that he always wants to learn. He's like, yo, how are you? I was writing for his daytime talk show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much of this do you think has to do with like you building up your star online? Yes. Because I think that plays a role as well. But you were one of the people that kicked me in the ass. Yeah. When you, I remember when Andrew Schultz, when you grew up with a bigger mustache, you were tired of shit. When your mustache was bigger and you were mad. He had to pull his pants out for him. Remember when you had the same manager, Jordan Tilzer? Yeah. Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was with Roar. Shout out to Roar. Roar, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had, I had bigged your name. I said, what do you think about Andrews? I said, oh, no, Andrews don't. He's coming. That motherfucker's coming. We had the same manager for a second. And I remember we did, what's the hockey thing we did? Oh, benders. We did benders. I was a goalie, dude. With Chrissy D. Yeah, I was the goalie with Serpa Co and those guys. Serpa Co and those guys. And they asked Dennis Leary and they always picked me for shit. Yeah, yeah. And I remember there was a period where he just had a big ass mustache. Yeah. And Andrew was just fucking done. Dad, Andrew was tired of the fucking business. He was out of the industry. And I go, we were at the bar. It's always at the comedy ceremony. He goes, yo, what's up? He goes, fuck these people, man. I'm not waiting on these motherfuckers. I'm not waiting. He goes, hey, let me get two more burgers. Shit. I'm not waiting on these motherfuckers. He goes, dude, I'm doing, I'm putting my shit up on my own, blah, blah, blah. But if I got a guy, if you, I got a guy. You need the guy to boom, start doing that. He said, fuck these dudes. We can do this shit ourselves. That was about four or five years ago. I remember you were like, fuck all of it. And then that's when his shit wagged. And hard work. And I was like, look at what Andrew's doing. Andrew told me that shit goes, dude, Gavry, you need to fucking start doing that. Bert Kreischer was like, I remember I did Bert Kreischer by heels. Bro, you got to do your podcast. You got to do a podcast, Gavry. You got to do a podcast. I can do bird. You can do a podcast. Gavry, you got to do a podcast. Dude, you got to do a podcast. Gavry, I've known you for a fucking long time. But you're not fucking telling you. You got to do a podcast. Seriously. But I saw what happened. And you just think pow in the ass. But I knew for you what was going to happen is that like things were going to pop online. And I'd be on YouTube and I'd see you start to like a clip would go viral. You get a bunch of views on a clip or something like that. And then what happens is like when these shows are casting, they can't not think about you because you're in the ether. You know what I'm saying? When you got nothing on, you're the funny guy that they're seeing crush at the cellar. Maybe they catch on the road. But like you're not in the conversation when they're casting for a thing. But once they see you do Steve Harvey, of course, Jay, well, Jay already knows because you guys know the seller, but like Nick Cannon, who you might not even have a relationship. They're like, no, this is fucking hilarious. We need to get him on the thing. We'll even change part of the show so you can do it. You just in the conversation because the conversation is on YouTube. You spark ideas in other people. And it was really the pandemic. Like I really took advantage of that shit. Pandemic, you know, everybody's at home and I was listening to Dave Dash. I was listening to Dave Dash on one of his lives. And you know, Dave, Dave is like, you either take him or you can't. Yeah. And Dave goes, and the guy goes, so man, yo, Sean, what you going through? He goes, the fuck you think I'm gonna do? Fuck you think? He's like, yo, everybody's at home right now. All right? The creators are running this shit. If you ain't doing shit every day on the motherfucking line, you're a fucking combo. You don't fuck that, man. You supposed to be every day I'm gonna be in motherfucking spaces creating this all fucking time. Man, I took that shit. I was online every single night for two years. Never missed it alive. Well, I'll be on there five hours. Be on there from 12 to fucking five in the morning. Collected fans. Nas DMs me. Nas DMs me. My favorite. Nas. Nas. Yes, it's not Lilac. Now, you can have that. Okay. I think he's funny. I liked his interview. I liked his interview. He's actually a normal kid. That's fucking with people. That's just that when you older and you say Nas around certain people that you didn't. My Nas. Nas did jumps. You did not see it right. And he called me. He DM me. And some dude, you know, I'm on live and some dudes like this, you know, people used to fuck with me because I'm coming, they go, do Nas following you, son? Just keep going. Do Nas following you, son? I'm like, shut the fuck up. You go, nah, man, Nas following you, son. So I check. I go, Nas is following me, son. And then I text Nas. I just send him DM. And I was like, hey, Nas. Thanks you for following me. He goes, yo, king, boom. Here's my number. I call him. I talk to Nas for two hours. Wow. This motherfucker goes, yo, yo, man, I just want to tell you, son, yo, that's what you do with the motherfucking pipe and shit. Yo, that's my shit. What? The shit I was just putting shit online. That's it, bro. He goes, that's, I love that shit. That shit's next level shit. Yo, for real. And I'm talking to him for a while, I go, you know you're Nas, right? Just want to let you know that I'm not going to act like I ain't frantic as fuck right now. Keith Murray, then Lenny Kravitz sends me a message. Yeah. Lenny Kravitz. Now I'm friends with Lenny just because of the stuff I was putting on the line. You got to feed the beast, bro. You got to feed the beast. And then I start doing my, and people didn't know I can imitate so many people. I went against Erie Spears, went against Jay Farrell, went against all these dudes. I have more voices than most of them. I didn't, they didn't, they go, I didn't know when I did Steve Harvey, which I thought everybody was doing Steve Harvey. I've never heard Steve Harvey. People call me said, Erie Spears like, yo, really son, nigga? Steve Harvey? I said, yeah. He goes, nigga, shit. I didn't know you had all these voices. Then we had the Paul Moody off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was doing Paul Moody, you niggas, I am so goddamn tired of Paul. You goddamn niggas. These, these goddamn white folks, they don't like your ass, nigga. You better wake the fuck up. And then Erie start battling me with the Paul Moody shit. I said, Erie, I don't even give a fuck. We're online. Who gives a shit? First of all, it's not our voice. It's his. Yeah. Who's the best Paul? Paul? Yeah. It was funny because he's like, man, I got to get you on the Paul Moody. I go, it's his voice. It doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Give some fuck, bro. Let's just get on there and start fire, bro. Yeah. But I was doing mad shit. I was, then I started doing Richard Pryor. It was setting out. It was, I was setting niggas off. And, you know, Jay Ferrell is very skilled. Yeah. I got him on the Pryor. Who do you think is the best in history? As far as voices. If you don't say you. OK, it's about to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One man. Like, who did you look at and go, wow, that person's great? Oh, oh, you know, it's hard because there was a man by the name of George Kirby, old school black comedian from the 60s and 50s, George Kirby. That dude could do Ella Fitzgerald. He could sing. Oh, he could sing as well. Like Ella Fitzgerald. And imitate all George Kirby, which people should look up. George Kirby underrated. Holy shit, George Kirby. Rich Little was pretty good. Rich Little was the white dude who just did all in person. He did all the presidents. I met him. He's like 83 years old. I met him. Rich Little, the best, because it's hard to say, because you don't know how many voices every person can do. So, oh, there was Jeff Pollack. Jeff, the guy that was on a few good men. Yeah, he's an impersonator. Oh, really? Gordon, who played the Riddler in the 60s was an impersonator. Frank Gorshan played the Riddler in the Batman from the pop belly Batman with the skinny legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I put him west, like, Robin, we have to find the comrade. Exactly, Robin. I have to find Kevwoman. And some people are good with mannerisms, but not voice. Like, like he and Ari Wayans was great with mannerisms. Right, right, right. Like Jim Kev... No, Jim Carrey is more of like, can morph into Jim Carrey was another level. He was one of the first guys I opened up for doing comedy. Oh, really? Yeah. What was his stand-up like? His stand-up was very like, he did a lot of body movements, which was like, how the fuck is he doing that? But jokes, as well as impersonation. Scenarios he did, because I opened up when I was in Chicago. It was at the Illinois Institute of Technology. My friend was running. Here's the scenario. And then here are these characters operating in the scenario. You know, you ever see a guy, he would just stop, da-da-da-da-da. And he'd just be like, no, no, no. And it was like, oh, it was funny. He transforms in front of you. Yeah, I always hate when I go to a supermarket and you just go, oh, yeah, yeah. And he would just, and it would be the funniest shit. He was, he was very, he's an alien superstar. Really, really skilled. He's so skilled. Now, with that said, would you be disappointed if you went to a Jim Carrey show? Because you know it's going to be a 10 talk at this point. Well, Jim ain't doing stand-up at this point anymore. Jim is against, he's against Hollywood now. He's coming around. Like he was at a dark moment. And I feel like now he's finally kind of seeing the light. I think a lot of people don't like, as far as, like, and again, I don't know, Jim. This is just observing and seeing very little. So I could be talking shit. But like, I think what happens is like, when maybe people get everything that they've ever wanted and they're not happy still, they, they start to realize that I don't even like saying these kind of things out loud. But like, they start to realize that, like, you know, just on a rock, hurtling through space. We're here for a very short time. And if you compare it to how long the universe has existed, it's it's a snap of the finger, right? It's nothing. And I think when people think about that too much, it gets depressing, right? You start going, oh, is this nothing? Are we all part of nothing? Right. And there's beauty in that when you get to the other side. And I think he was at one point where he was kind of like on red carpet talking about, yeah, none of this matters. And everything's meaningless. And it was like, whoa, is the funniest guy ever? The guy who made me so happy? Like, is he really sad? And now it seems like he's kind of coming around. I think the coming around part is the whether it's nothing or not, we fucking need each other. We need to talk. We need to laugh. Yeah. We need family. We need to fucking love each other. We like helping each other. It actually makes us feel good when like someone that we love succeeds or we can help someone. That's a good thing. A lot of comments, they're not like that because I'm going to keep you. It takes time to get there, bro. I know what takes time. I got, I got my, I got comments. And it's funny that I know they don't like me. I know it and they don't know I know. I know specific motherfuckers too. And now, and I'm like, and I love helping people. I like, I don't, I love when I give somebody, Hey man, go connect with that. I love that shit. I, I've never been a hater. But a lot of times like, and, and I just hate media. This helped me get through, get through certain things like that with relationships. And like just even forgive people. It's like a lot of times like the way that people are talking about you is a reflection of where you are and where they are. True. And, and like, I think we've all witnessed, at least in comedy, you know, I've seen guys that like are so fucking talented and then maybe not getting opportunities or maybe not doing the right things. And then they get bitter because of it. And it's just like, well, you're not a bitter guy. You just believe that you deserve more and you just don't have the, the ability to get yourself more or you just need someone to nudge you. So them hating on you or being upset at you got really nothing to do with your behavior. It's that they are not right. But then there's some people that are already doing good and they're hating. Like you're like, they're looking at you. Are they looking at shows? And they're like, well, I need to be there. It's like, no, you're already there. It's like, you can't be it. You can't run in everybody's lane. Yeah. Well, there you have your own lane. Feel threatened. You don't want me to have this success. That's fucking weird. And I know people who are prominent motherfuckers that have said that shit around me. Like I don't like when other motherfuckers make it. I'm not mentioning names because I'm here to defend themselves. But it's really, I'm telling you, that's scary because they're in positions where they can influence somebody. And they go, nah, I don't fucking pick that dude. Or fuck that dude. Because some people, they'll believe what they say and won't give you that chance. I've had people do this to me. Because some people need it all. But they can't even. And you can't have it all. It's like when I tell this man about a case, I'm telling you because I don't want anybody to see me every week. I want people to get like, come back later. Like, when I'm on a hog, a fucking gig, they need to see other comedians. If you're good enough, they're going to bring you back. If you're dope enough, they're going to bring you back. But people are, yo, that's crazy. I want to be the Clarence A. Vaughn Lorne. I love shit like that. You know what I'm saying? Like that you want to be that. I love when I hook people. I love that shit. That kingmaker. Son, that was the thing. At least, you know, like, that was the thing with Rogan that I thought was so transformative within comedy. Is it like the guy with all the power was trying to put people on? That's great. Absolutely. And like it was just so rare. And what there was like a trickle down effect with that shit where like everybody else was trying to put people on too. Because they're like, well, shit, if the king doing it, who am I to be selfish? You know, no doubt. And these cats are eating, getting on his show. I think Rogan, um, Rogan. For comedy, that was a super rare thing. Awesome with Rogan. I think he filled the lane that. I haven't done Rogan yet. You haven't done Rogan at Godfrey? Oh, you got to do Rogan. Well, well, you know him, right? That's shows. Yeah. He's more show guy than he is. Hey, shows. Well, shows have the face of a Rogan. I'll plug you in. I'll plug you in. Rogan's going to pick guys like that. He lives in the neighborhood. He lives in the neighborhood. He's like this. Hey, Rogan, it's my money. Trashing the guy that he loves to go on the show. No, I really, I would love to because everyone's like, because Willie D from the ghetto boys. Yeah. Rogan's a big fan of Willie D. Willie's my dude, like my right hand man. And Willie's like, yo, I want you. He's like, man, I want to get you. And I was like, it has to be a thing where he knows he's following me. But Rogan's equal opportunity. If you're dope, you're talented. That's it. He's great. I would love to be on Rogan. People, because I've done Maron. I haven't done Naran twice. Yeah. Because I know Maron. Yeah. Maron was like, I think you guys would have a lot of fun. I know we would. We had a fucking great. We had a ball. I'm sure you have a ball with Rogan. I need to go back and do it. I want to do Rogan next month, actually. Oh, you guys. See, you just said next month. Oh, if I can't, would you shout out Charmaine to God, bro? You know, I hate your fake humility that bugged me. You go, I guess. I think I'm going to do it next month. I think I'm going to do it next month. Oh, I don't know. It depends on my story. But why are you saying, why are you saying? We have billions of followers on Brick's question. What are you saying, though? About, uh. That really pissed me off. About what are you saying? But if I really hated that motion. I hated his humble. He threw it away. He's like, I don't know. Next month. If he left me. Oh, God, if you got the room, Jesus Christ. He has the biggest platform history. And he's like, I don't know. He has the room for it. No, I was saying that he felt the lane that I feel like the champs left open. Oh, yeah. Champs podcast, Neil and Mocha Kasia, because they were bringing in all of the comedians. I did. You know what I mean? Especially the, really. I think it was just black comedians. Did you ever do champs? Did you ever do champs? No, I never did. I did it one time. I did champs. I watched you on there. I heard you on champs. I think that was the first time I heard Tiffany's story. I think they only had black guests. That's it. I was like, oh, yeah, that was a weird thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because yeah, yeah, Neil's into the black people. He's the black ones. And Mocha Kasia's from Oakland. So Mocha, that makes sense. And he grew up like, uh, uh, Mocha did. I said, okay. Remember asking, why do you stop doing it? He was like, ah, there's no more black comedians. He ran out of what? He ran out of black guys he liked. There's a lot of black comedians you don't know. Why don't you interview them? I need the super Negroes. I need super. Because I remember when I was on Mark Merritt's car cast, Judd Apatow comes up to me. He goes, Judd goes, your, your episode on Merritt is one of my favorite episodes. Because me and that Merritt are shitting on each other. I go, Merritt, I say, you barely bring any black people out here. He goes, what do you mean? I had Obama, not the super Negroes, bro. It's Obama, mother fucker, regular mom. Like a Jim, like a, like a, like a Danny Perkins, like a regular mom. The only black I brought on was the president? Oh my God. It might be a product of the case. You're right, right. Because me and him, me and Obama's episodes were one at the other, which was great because it's good. You had to follow Obama? I had to follow Obama. And I was, and, and, and I was like, I think they like black folks. And I'm looking at Merritt and Merritt and got all these black people on his wall. You gotta, you got all these blues players on you, just like a white dude. Got all this black paraphernalia, but no black people in your podcast. And then Merritt is shitting on me. I'm shitting on him. And it, we had fuckers. We asked what we do. Right. I said, man, and I, and that's the thing. It's like, I think that's what happened with Brett and he ran out of. Yo, I got a question. James Brown was dead. Luther was dead. He could, he couldn't interview them. Martin Luther King gone, man. Bernie Mac. Yes. Motherfucker. You came up under Bernie. I'm sure motherfucking did. Yeah. I'm in Chicago, man. Chicago was me, the uncle. It was Corey Holcomb. And he had that iconic room, right? Yeah. And he had Cotton Club. The Cotton Club. Cotton Club. And I remember your name. When I was doing, when I was doing open mics, I was doing mainstream open mics, actually. Then I said, man, I want to do like, I want to do more black audiences because I want to make sure my shit's legit. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I would transition. I never really had to change my shit. And, and I remember they say, go, go see Bernie Mac. You got to go see Bernie Mac. And there was a movie called Love Jones. Oh yeah. Love Jones. Oh, my favorite movie. Right. My Love Jones was a Chicago film and a guy named Ted Witcher. We used to go to see, we used to go see Slam Poetry. And my friend who, who consulted, what's his name? Lorenz Tate. Lorenz is from Chicago. Lorenz Tate. My boy Reggie was the Poetry, International Poetry Slam Champion who went to high school with me. Oh, wow. And so he was in, in the movie, you can see him sitting next to Reggie. He's like, yo, Reg, that's, I went to high school with Reg. Wow. And my other friend I went to high school with is the girl Bernadette with the Braids who works in the record store. Wow. We, I drove to New York with her. That, in 97, I came to New York with her. Wow. And my first roommate was Viola Davis. Viola Davis, yeah. Yeah. Crazy shit. I think she was on your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my first roommate with Bernadette, driving, U-Haul Truck. I was like 60 all in the house, right? It was four of us. Four of us, okay. U-Haul Truck. First person I see when I get to New York, Wood Harris was from Chicago who used to go to Poetry Slams with me. Wood Harris, Wood is like, yo, I just got accepted to Tish at NYU. I go, bet, I want to come next year. A year later, I see Wood Harris on 6th Avenue crossing the street, going to class, driving. Wow. U-Haul Truck, Bernadette. We go, Viola Davis at Juilliard. The fuck? Wow. Yeah, Viola was a nobody. Just working her ass off. Boom, but you got to read her book, though. Shit's big. Oh, no, her book is incredible. And fucking incredible, her book is. Incredible. It's very trigger interview, you know, having dealt with your own traumas. Every actor in this, I don't complain about shit. That word up. After what the fuck she's been through. Her childhood was. What? Wow. You have to read that shit. It's fantastic. Anyway, so yeah. So, you know, boom. And there was a place called Spices in the movie where they're doing the poetry. That's where Bernie Mac would do shows where they did poetry as a black own place in downtown Chicago. Bernie Mac would do shows down there. And that's what Love Jones was based on. The poetry, like little club. Then he was at the Cotton Club. And I said, where can I go to do black and go go see Bernie Mac? I was like, who the fuck is that? South side of Chicago. So I go over there. And I see this dude dark skinned dude with glasses with a towel. He's like, I'm sick and tired of being motherfuckers sick and tired. You know, motherfuckers come up to you and shit, you know, want to show you love yet. I'm tired of motherfuckers, you know. I was like, whoa, fuck. Murdering, of course. And when you walk into the Cotton Club, it's the band is right there. And they see you right away. As soon as you walk in, it's a small club. They see you right away. So I'm walking in there. I see Bishop Don Juan. Bishop Don Juan is from Chicago. Bishop Don Juan knew me when I started. Wow. And that motherfucker saw me when we were shooting Soul Plane. Me and Snoop Dogg in the cockpit, Bishop Don Juan comes in and he goes, hey, baby, what's going on, man? I go, what's up, man? Bishop, what's up? He goes, man, I'm proud of you, baby. I'm proud of you, man. You make Chicago look good. He's a real pimp. He's a real pimp, not no fucking joke. Real pimp. He goes, man, I'm proud of you, man. I love seeing my Chicago brother. And Snoop is like this. How do you know this, motherfucker? I said, I'm from Chicago. Nicky, you from Chicago. And Snoop goes, that's why I fuck with you, dog. I love motherfuckers from Chicago. I didn't know you was from. I said, I've known Bishop Don Juan before you, bro. Wow. I knew him before you were hanging out with him. He was Bishop Magic Don Juan. What happened to the magic? He got, well, he got all churchy. He got, you know, Bishop. Yeah, he was like a pastor. I did not know that. He was a pastor. He used to have a gold church, like a little church, gold chain. But Bernie, Bernie. But Bernie, Bernie was like, I mean, to me, he's one of the best ever. And I think he did quite possibly one of those most amazing sets of stand-up comedy ever. You know the Kings of Comedy? Well, the Kings of Comedy was transformative for me. But I'm telling you, it was the Def Comedy Jam. I ain't scaring you. And you know what happened, right? I want you to tell the story, because you know better. But that five minutes. Yeah. And I'm not talking to you like breakdown, like, oh, look, the setup and premise and joke, whatever. I'm talking about five minutes of setting a tone, getting everybody in the room absolutely dying laughing and maintaining energy and like literally falling in love with a person. And then you leave. I think it was one of the greatest sets in the history of stand-up comedy. No doubt. But tell everybody what happened before. That a lot of people know. And there were some people that were there. This guy named Cool Bubba Ice was there. And some other cats were there. Cool Bubba Ice. What the heck? Yeah, Cool Bubba was there. And he's a great impersonator, too. Really great impersonator. And shit. Because Bernie Bombs. Bernie, this is his second time on Def Jam. Because he had done his first one. I remember he's told us. He goes, I want to tell everybody I'm doing Def Comedy Jam. Everyone's like, all right. And he's like, so I ended up hosting for him. That's right. When he was filming in the summertime. And all the comics were pissed at me. Bernie asked me. He goes, I was like, you want me? That was like, I'm like, because you original and shit. You know, you're trying to be like Bernie, man. I'm gonna be stealing my shit. So boom, at that time, Bernie went on first time at Def Jam. Did pretty good. Second time he went on tour. He was on tour. So I was hosting this comedy. He was on tour. So that's when he had this, you know, you saw his colored, you remember his shirt? That's Barbara Bates. Barbara Bates was this black clothing designer. He was wearing Barbara Bates' shirt, right? And then the painted jeans. And that was a style of Barbara Bates. And then, you know, there was a bunch of people bombing before him. They were bombing like a motherfucker. And so Bernie was like, what the fuck? Everybody was getting eaten alive. And so Bernie comes out and goes, I ain't afraid of you, motherfuckers. I'm going to tell you straight. And then it went, yeah, he set a tone. And then he goes, kick it. Boom, tackle. But that wasn't organized before with who was the DJ? Kid Capri. Yeah, Capri. I don't think that was organized before. So he did it. And then it worked. Then he kept doing it. I'm going to tell you straight. Well, you know, I pull out my dick this whole room. I'm going to tell you straight. Yeah, yeah, he's like, I'm blessed. I'm blessed. I'm a big bum. I'm a big fool. I pull my dick the whole room. Get done. But it was music. It was like, you're watching fucking jazz, comedy. It was, it was everything. It was cold train. Duke Ellington getting them all. It was, it was, it was, it was funk. It was an in that quick moment. He murdered that shit. Chicago, then Adele Givens. Chicago, when Adele said, me give you a blow job. That's like with my big lips. That's like giving a whale a tic-tac. I think he was talking. She was talking to cool bubba ice in the morning. Chicago on the map again. Wow. But Chicago, we were, it was Chicago was like. But the Bernie, Bernie, go, go, go. The Bernie literally, when I got to New York City doing, fuck, Peppermint Lounge. Oh, and Jersey or whatever it was. I did it 10 times. Yeah, this was a orange. Who's room was this? No, that was. This was Bill Bellamy. Bellamy's room. This is, this is like a. I'm talking. I'm talking. Crazy room. Yeah. Anthony Mason from the Knicks. Who's huge. Naughty by nature. Yeah. Jai Gay. He's in Frankenstein. Oh, he looks like he's in 3D. He's in Frankenstein. Wow. He's Frankenstein. He is in 3D. And remember when I was talking about motherfuckers? Jersey was like. They was in like a rough room. Motherfuckers in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got, they gave you a date. Tina Graham. Shout out Tina Graham. Bob's. Bob's numbers. They gave you, they gave you a date. And you would think about that date for months. You go, it's January. Hey, you're going to be at the Peppermint Lounge in April. You're like, you're thinking, oh, when's your date? My date's April, blah, blah, blah. When's your date? And it was like, and it was an extra club. And so there's mirrors everywhere on the stage. So when you get up, it looks like there's more black people. You see the reflection. You see the reflection of these motherfuckers. And they're like, hurry up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hurry up with your sister. It was, and you got to get up there and Bill Bellamy. And no, everything Bill's doing, killing. Yeah, yeah. It's like MTV suit on, boom, girl. And here you come. You're in a fucking room and the DJs, they're going, y'all better not fuck up. Wood, blew your ass to death. Thank you for the inspiration, asshole. And then I went up and up for Bam. And he goes, yo, this next guy from Chicago. Everyone's like, because of Bernie. Bernie gave me an opening because they respected Chicago. Everybody was respected Chicago. You got to remember too, one of my jokes that killed, this is my first time at the Peppermint Lounge. I did the crucial conflict joke. You remember the crucial conflict? They started all that Southern rap. Because Chicago's a Southern city. Black people are from Mississippi, Alabama, Kentucky. So that hay in the middle of the barn. Man, I remember, dude. I said, y'all don't crucial conflict. What the fuck is, oh, I was just doing it. Killed Chicago group. It was just Bernie set that tone, though, to get me through. They're like, give it up, my man. Chicago, Bernie, man. What was sweating? Like, what was that? God damn. Then I got booed one time, booed my ninth time. Because I was getting comfortable. What the fuck is new me? I was, how the hell was the night? Then one time this dude was like, yo, man, you corny, man. Corny, man. You sound proper and shit. I go, that's because I can read. That's because I can read, motherfucker. I can read. And I was like, and I'm getting on this dude. Bop, bop, bop. Then they were like, yo, that's my cousin. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bop, bop. It started growing. Boo, they knew this dude. I was getting them, though. Boo, man, fuck that. Now, the booing, I didn't even trip on it. And so when they start booing, I started acting like, I started acting like Scarface when he was getting shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like this, all right, it's okay. Fuck you, I can take it. You want to fucking play games? They start laughing again. Then they booed me again. They rebooed me. They were like, they were like, ha, no, boo. They rebooed me. I was like, fuck you all. And I got off. But if people who don't know and don't really understand the impact of Bernie Mac, what was that loss like? It was stunning. You got to say the hip hop terms. It was stunning, like a stunner. Fuck, what? Like pop, big. It was just like he was just, he was really coming in. Like he was about to be that dude. Like with the Ocean's Eleven. And we didn't get to see him do specials, man. We didn't really get to see him do comedy specials. We didn't get to see him do comedy specials. Yeah, but there's part of me that I don't know what he would have done as a special. But like the type of comedy he did with Kings of Comedy, it was so fucking pure, authentic, and like real. I don't know after doing like Ocean's Eleven, if he could do those types of jokes again. I'm not sure, but I would have liked to see it. I would love to see it, but I'm like, but yeah, we're going to see him show down his version. Like then he had the Bernie Mac show that all. You know, you've got a good point. Because that's set from Kings of Comedy. I remember watching that in a movie theater. It came out of theaters. And I saw the lineup was perfect. Everything was perfect, but I didn't know who he was. And I knew who the other guys were. And I was like, wow, this guy's closing. Who is this guy? And then I laughed like I've never laughed at anything on video ever in my life. And I was like, because also at that time, I'm so young. I think that he's just making all this stuff up in a moment. I don't even know about bits yet. Right. You know, my introduction to comedy is like, I'm watching, I'm watching guys riff. I'm thinking, right? So because it was so conversational. I don't know these are bits. He's going back and forth. It's in and out. It's audience. It's something he's telling stories. So I'm thinking during this, I'm like, man, how the fuck am I going to be that funny? This is going to take a lot of work to get this goddamn funny. Bro, him telling his stories about the family, man. And he has a Bernie Mac show on though. And then they made the show. And the thing is Bernie had been doing comedy since 79. Yeah, he was 30 years in a game when like Arsenio. Yeah. And the thing is my friend who I want to bring up, Evan Lionel, he's a comic God of, he started, he literally was the first guy to pay us in Chicago. He started the urban comedy, Evan Lionel. He's been in LA for like 20 something years. He's my big brother. He literally got Bernie Mac out of the life of crime. He saved Bernie Mac's life, saved his life. They went to the same high school, Chicago vocational high school. And Bernie was going to murder somebody because Bernie was pissed. And he said, don't you go do that shit. You need to bring your ass and do this comedy thing. I'm doing, he saved Bernie, Evan Lionel is the reason why Bernie is where he got to. And he, he let Bernie stay at his place when Bernie didn't have a lot of money. Dude, I've seen footage of Bernie doing open mic with Bernie to have any dough. Bombing or killing? He's funny as fuck. And he has, but he has footage of it. He has footage of all of us when we first started. Wow. This guy's name is Evan Lionel. People should need to know this guy's name. Bernie used to sit with us at three in the morning lecturing us. Who gon' carry the toy? Huh? Who gon' tear the motherfucking toy? Huh? Who gon' carry the motherfucking, you know all these motherfucking on a stand alone take a motherfucking new comedy and shit? Motherfuck, come up one, get a stand, old vagin and shit. Yeah. We would watch this two, three in the morning. Me, Bernie, Evan, and his wife. Wow. Just listen to Bernie lecturing. Me, I got lectured by Bernie. Like, I got the best fucking advice. I got Seinfeld, Bernie, and you can say what you want. Cosby. I got advice from all three of these motherfuckers. George Wallace too. Wow. George Wallace. Like, go for it, go for it. I really, you were really funny. We had the same birthday, me and George Wallace. Wow. I got advice from some of the greatest motherfuckers. Seinfeld sat me down two hours. Watched my set and gave me advice. What? Cosby gave me advice. When I worked for him, I worked for Cosby. I warmed up for Cosby and he says, you got a right to put it on the paper. You got the writing is important. Got to write it on the paper. I remember the shit. You see, when you put, oh yeah, it was Cosby. And he had the cigar. And see, and the thing in the writing, his hand was like, the writing on the paper. Look at the word show business. What's the biggest word? Business. We did that. All right. Let's pay some bills. Come back to some church announcements. Let's talk to the current events while we still got God for you. Let's do it. Yeah, let's go. Let's do it. All right, guys. We'll take a break for a second because I got to make sure you're getting your nutrients. Make sure you're getting it in the right time and make sure that you don't have to waste any of your time cooking, preparing meals, going to the grocery store to get all that stuff. You are busy. You got things to do. Okay, you got to find a wife. 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This is the part of the show where we talk about anything we got going on. Gaffrey, what you got? Oh, oh, well, I got coming up Orlando Improv, June 3rd through the 5th, and then I have, where else am I going? Oh, Houston Improv, too. Houston Improv is June 17th through the 19th that I got some other place I can't remember. And I've had my podcast, which I hope you guys do someday. If Gaffrey was Trust on the Gas Digital Network, where I phase on, it's done it. T.I. did it. A lot of people have done it. And Gaffrey was Trust on the Gas Digital Network, Tuesdays and Fridays at 9.30 p.m. Watch me on the new season of While and Out, June 21st, season 18, and a Michael Chay show, I guess I'm in at one sketch with you guys. It was like, it was a bunch of us. And yeah, man, it just come, you know, just follow me on Instagram, Comedian Godfrey, and follow the Godfrey podcast, you know what I mean, on Instagram. So yeah. What you got, Shosie? I got a little announcement, I think, maybe next week we'll be ready to talk about it. Next week? Next week? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got an announcement on something. Orlando Improv. Did I say Orlando Improv? Yeah, you did. Yeah, made sure I said Orlando Improv. Come on, thank you. Yeah, man, that's it. Let's do some shit you won't care about next week. Let's get it. Monique called out bias against black women in D.L. Hughley dispute. Bro, did you see her running across the stage? That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my entire life. Baby, let me tell you, baby, baby, baby. Bro, the one that she did, bro, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. She looked like Luigi, bro. Look at this run. Look how high her legs go when she's running. Dude, it's amazing. Whatever she said, she's right. We're wrong. I don't know. Listen, baby. But that run is... Baby. Oh, my God. You all got the video? She alleged that D.L. pushed her out of being the headliner. But D.L. showed a contract, didn't he? He showed a contract. What's it called? The contract. It wasn't a contract, it was a thing before the contract. But it's still binding. The offer. Yeah, the offer. Performance agreement. Yeah, he showed it. He didn't want to have to do that. She showed one, too, though. That said what? What does it say? It's the same language. But I think it came from her company. But I think this is a promoter problem. I don't think this is an issue that either one of them have with each other. Come on, bro. Oh, she just ran the other side of the state. Okay, okay, okay. Monique is hilarious. I thought Corey Holcomb would do that one day. Monique is so funny. Yeah. Monique is hilarious. Monique is so funny. Is this a real thing? New comedians care about who had lunch? Well, yeah. Well, I mean, listen, they're both great headliners. They're both great comedians. Like I said, it's a promoter thing. I'm not going to sit there and misspeak and go, I don't know who's right. Who's wrong? I think it sucks that they're both fighting. It fucking stinks. I think it sucks. They're both great. Some of these promoters do stupid shit like that. They'll like separate that. Have Monique and friends. Have DL and friends. Stop stacking. Stop doing that shit. That's a big show. You got DL and Monique. That's a big show. That's a huge show. I think Ida Rodriguez is on there. Ida told me like they're just trying to get the guys in the girls. But I think it was, I think it was DL's thing. I think. I don't know. But if they're both showing contracts, hey, man, I got nothing to do with that. But I hate that they're fucking fighting because it's like, if it's not my personal show, I don't care where I am. Yeah. It's like, you're Monique, man. Don't fucking matter. You're Monique. Who cares? Monique. Headline your shows. And if it's a show with a bunch of other comics on it. First of all, that's the thing a lot of people don't realize. Like comics, if it's a comic show with a bunch of comics on it, comics ain't fighting for that headline spot. Hell no. That's the one you don't want. Exactly. Get the fuck out of here, man. The show is. And everybody's a headliner? Shit, I want to go first. Because everybody's going to go long. It's going to be three hours in by the time you get on stage. Everybody going to be talking about similar shit. So people fight to not do that. And if you do do that, you got to pay more. So I know comics who are like, I'm not headline like you pay me extra. Because I got to do with this shit. I've been on offered shows like that. And I go, and I'll look who's on it. I go, I'm good. The energy. I want energy-wise. I'm not fucking with that. Oh, so you'll look at a lineup and be like that. Because that was the first time I ever saw something like that. And I don't have a beef with anybody. But I know one thing is that don't feel a certain way about being. I'm not going. I don't care how much money it is. I'm saving my energy. I want to be around people that I get along with. That's important to me. That makes sense. Because in DL's contract, it said he has approval of the lineup or something like that. Yeah. I guess. And then what is hers? Contract show. I don't. I didn't look so. So I don't really. It just seemed like both of them had the similar contract. So I think that's on the promotion. You don't see the white comics argue. Even if they're like, you don't see them doing that. It's us all the time. Yeah. It's like, it's always, it's why. Why has it got to be public? I just thought that was like, Monique shitting on DL before he goes up. Then DL came back. All right. DL didn't perform that night though. No, he went on step. Did he go down that night? I think that's it. You need Jesus. No, he's getting up there. No, he said something about like, you're beefing with this person, this person, this person, this person, this person, this person. Maybe it's you. Listen, I'm not, I'm cool with both of them. So I don't want to say the wrong shit because I wasn't there. Yeah. But I just don't like that they're both fighting. I hope that they resolve this shit. Because I don't want to see any of us fighting that shit. I'm tired of that shit. Keep it to yourself. Fuck it. Yeah, he said. Keep it off the thing, off the public. Talk to one another about it. I say talk to one because they're both great. They're both my friends. Okay. I remember Monique called me. I got the call from Monique because, you know, I did fat girls with her. I did soul play with her. And Monique called me because I was on, when I used to do Vlad, I said something about Monique's situation with her husband. I made a mention and Monique calls me. I go, hey, he goes, hey baby. Hey, love. You know, all that night. I said, what's up Monique, what up? Yo, what's up? She goes, oh, I'm beautiful. And it's so nice to hear when you're doing so well. I'm like, I'm like something's going to happen to me. I go, what's up Monique? I have a problem baby. I said, oh, what is it? What I do? Well, I was watching Vlad and you are bad motherfucker on there. I said, thanks. She goes, but you said something I didn't like. I said, what the fuck? Could I possibly say bad about you? Well, it wasn't me. It was my husband. I said, okay, what did I say? Because I don't remember. He goes, you said something about, you know, I think Monique's decisions are being because of the husband. And I said, well, Monique, I think I remember, but I didn't say it out of spite of him. I don't know him. I was talking about as a friend of yours. I go, maybe it's the husband messing up her shit. Because I know Monique had Monique's been doing this a long time. Maybe he just came in and he's making a run. I was protecting you. She goes, I totally understand that. But I felt like you disrespected her. I said, let me talk to him. Let me talk to the guy. And I talked. We had a great conversation. He goes, man, I really respect you. And I know I understood exactly what you were doing. You don't know me. You're just looking. I said, that's how I did it. But as a man, I apologize that if you took it that way, I totally did. We questioned. He said, I'm apologizing to another black dude. And yeah, I don't have to be like, man, fuck you. At least he called you. Monique, hit the nuclear button quick. She won't go like this. Godfrey Cleo Fitz Jr. And they're like, how'd you know my middle name? But yeah, we squashed it. And then I made a video actually on my Instagram talking about that. My bad. And she goes, that's why fuck with you. Yeah, man. But I like if we settled it, it was like, boom, it doesn't have to be. It was interesting, right? Because go back to that, Taylor. Because DL was like, you know, first it was like Oprah. He said Oprah was a problem. Tyler was the problem. Lee Daniels was the problem. Charlemagne was the problem. Like, don't put me in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, my mind was a little different. I can totally see how I was. I can see why Monique was upset because I was talking about her money. You know what I mean? She had some legitimate rights. Yeah. It was very legitimate. You know, we were talking about the Netflix deal. And that's something that we do as people, right? We'll talk about after this contract. We'll talk about how much money a person got. But there's certain situations that probably could have impacted her money. You know what I mean? No doubt. There could have been Netflix, execs at Netflix like, oh, well, he heard Charlemagne say Charlemagne. So it's like, I can see why she would be upset. Yeah, no doubt. No doubt. She was putting out fires that she had legitimate rights. She's just bold with it. She was just out of frame. She kind of stood on her own. She looks great, by the way. Anna was none of my business. Whatever Netflix was going to pay her or whatever she was trying to get, that's not her. That's her. I think sometimes we do have to be cognizant of that when we're having conversations about what other people are doing, because our voices do carry. And it helps our… Like, nobody's business. That's right. That's right. It does. So Monique was… Monique and ZL, I hope they settle it. They're both fucking fantastic, period. So we need them. Bill Maher, another comic. Bill Maher got into some trouble because he said that it was actually a really good bit if you see it, and I won't even call it a bit. It was just his real time. But he basically said that being transgender is trendy now. So he said, that's why you see the spike in people identifying as transgender going up, because it's trendy. Trendy trends. That's what he said. And so, of course, the LGBT community is highly upset. They always get mad at everything. Real-time Bill Maher claims that he's going to be sparked by these things. He's talking about, but Caitlyn Jenner said, the same thing, she's like this. They're not really doing it. It's doing it out of like, it's like they're doing it because, oh, it's cool to do it. Some people do gay stuff, and they were like, I wasn't really gay. I was just doing it. It was just a phase. So that's all he was saying. He's not, you can't get mad at every fucking thing all the time. Go be trans. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of common sense in what he said. He was just like, when you're young, you think you're all kind of stuff. You know, should we be making permanent decisions based off what could be? We should wait. You should wait. You shouldn't be throwing this on people when, especially these young kids, let them figure it out later. There's nothing wrong with being whatever you want to be, but you can't get mad at every fucking turn. Enough already. It's like, LGBT, it's, oh, here come the alphabets. Yeah. You know, it's like they're always mad at shit, like damn. And I don't know if trendy is the right word, but I do know that if you put it on the menu, and I'm a child, I'm going for what's the most unique thing on the menu. You know what I'm saying? Why would I just want to be a man, a woman when there's something else? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? If it's on the menu, I might choose the highlighted meal on the menu. Right. Pause. Food and the whole sex joints look different, man. Do I want a dick or a coochie? Ugh. Or do I want a bow? Yo, let me get down with a soda on the side. If a vengeance was on the menu, what would you identify as? What? Avengers was on the menu. What would you identify as? I'm just saying. No, but I get you trying to make an analogy, but I was like, wait a minute. I was with you halfway, my friend. And then we went off onto a tangent. Spock, Spock, you have to come back. I think it works a little bit the opposite way as well. Like I think there's probably a lot of trans people that identify as gay because they didn't know trans was on the menu. And I think now there's a lot of those people going, oh, shit, I was actually trans this whole time. It's just gay was the closest thing. Yeah. Well, as far as the community that it's under the umbrella, because if you're going LGBT, then that is the gay community, LGBTQ, AI or whatever. I think it's the queer community. Gay, I think it is just if you're a dude, you fuck dudes. I don't know. I think it's under all of that. No? What is? LGBT, isn't that the gay community? LGBTQ and trans community? That's right. No, it's not the gay community. Oh, what is it? It's the LGBTQ plus community. That's the gay community. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. What you're saying is gay and. Yeah, because some people are gay there by. Some people are gay there. Plus. Well, I think if you mess with the same sex, you're gay. Do we know what those letters mean? Yeah, but what if? If you're, do we know what the letters mean? I just, I'm not even doing it. We got, we got, we got. I mean, I'm a heterosexual, so I don't know. Let me get out of there. If you, I'm an H. My bad. If you mess with the same sex. I'm H. All right. I got my own letters. I mean, I'm by myself. I mean, you're H2. I'm H. We're all, we're the Huz. We're the Huz. We're the Huz. Hey, we the Huz. Heterosexual. So I'm H. I ain't the cis, no, I'm heterosexual. Period. What's the H? H homosexual starts with H2, though. I'm, I'm H. There you go. I'm H. I'm H. I'm H. H. Man. Oh, man. Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't want to say the wrong thing because then they'll get mad at this. Yeah. So you're being folk. No, but I just try, there's so many terms. I'm like, sorry. I'm like, I'd rather just actually respect you as a human being than get your terms wrong and you start crying. I'd rather go, hey, man, if you're being bullied, I'm going to protect you. You're my friend. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. But if you get mad at my terms, you're, I think you're splitting hairs. Yeah. I try. There's a, there's a learning curve for the new stuff. Sorry. Fuck. I didn't know. There's a learning curve. They don't give us one. Well, that's the thing. That's what I'm trying to say about it. You're a human being. I don't expect fuck all that. And my thing is stop being, stop these men, stop putting titties on and competing against women. You're cheating. Have a transgender league. This is like, you should have shitty male athlete league. Shitty male athletes that can't compete with regular athletes. Right. They just put titties on them. Then they go, I'm going to compete against women and you're putting women in comas and MMA fights. That's because your PSIs are that of a band. Yeah. You're, how are you 554th ranked? And then you're number one when you start racing with women because you got man strength. You're a fuck out of here. You sit up there like fucking smoking women as soon as you fill a bit of water. Women are like, what the fuck? You're like, at least slow down and almost beat them. Oh, just made it. Oh, like Dash on the Incredibles. Just slow down just like this. And she just wins. Oh. How much time I forgot? Yeah. Oh shit. I got to wrap up soon. Okay. Give us some asking idiots and we'll get the fuck out of here. What's up? I mean to play football with you. Man, watch that. Give us some. Give us some. Watch that. Hold this. Oh, let's. I didn't like the way the tips hit. I didn't like the way the tips of our shoes hit. It bothered me. I didn't like how soft that was. But like no tenderness here, buddy. That might, hey, that protects you though. No, fuck all that. It protects you after that ranch you did? Well, for the dog. Hell, dog. What the hell is that? Let's pay some bills, man. Let's come back and do that. All right, guys. We're going to take a break for a second because I got to make sure you're getting your website up, ready to go. You have a business. You need a website for it, plain and simple. And the best company to build that website, design that website is Squarespace because you could do it. All your aesthetic, all your ideas put out there on the internet to reflect and represent you, okay? Squarespace is the all-in-one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. Stand out with beautiful website. Engage your audience and sell anything, your products, content you create, even your time. I'm telling you, you need a website if you have a business. Even if you have a personal brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create, monetize your content as well, okay? 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You can improve your website and build a marketing strategy based on your top keywords or most popular products and content. So when you head to squarespace.com slash idiot for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code idiot, you're gonna save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash idiot with the offer code idiot for 10% off your first purchase. Now let's get back to the show. All right, we back. Time for some masking idiots. How's it going? Oh, this is good. I like this one. Let's go back to that one. Podcast Poppy right there, right there. First one, Taylor. Up, up, up. Up, up, up. Shala, if you were a Republican politician for one year, what changes would you make about the party? Showtie, if you were a Democratic politician for a year, what changes would you make about the party? You go. What changes would I make about the party? Um, I would, my approach would be very bullwarfish because I really like what I saw. Uh, I can't remember the sister name right now. She's from Portsmouth, Virginia. She's the congresswoman. I think I think it's congresswoman Burke, if I'm not mistaken. Apologies for not remembering her name, but she just spoke truth to power. Did y'all see that video? It's happening. And I hope you make your decision when, when November comes. I'm pissed as a motherfucker. Yeah, I'm ashamed. I'm mad as a motherfucker. I am. Because I know what's been going on. I know somebody came to my office and asked me to deal with this stuff because they didn't ask to pay $1,000. I'm gonna research this meeting right now. I'm sick of it. She just spoke truth to power about what's going on and how people are trying to buy votes and everything else. And I'm like, you're supposed to be a party of the people. She went there. You should sound like the people. Like, bullwarf. I love bullwarf. It's one of my favorite movies. You should go watch it. It starts in 180 Hollenberry. 180 Hollenberry. But it's just like, yo, he was just speaking truth to power. Like, what? Which is rare. But it's especially in politics. But are we, is it really a party for the people? That's why you gotta see George Carlin's new stuff. New stuff. New Dr. McLeod. Oh, the doctor. Oh, I've been watching this. Oh, fucking yeah. I'm a big Carlin. I, he goes- I thought they said they're supposed to be for the people. He's like, this country is a big club and you ain't in it. And you ain't in it. It's facts. That's real. But is it really for the people? It's supposed to be. That's what they sell. Kind of for the people. Yeah, well. It's not. We know that now. Right, right, right. I get what you're saying. Yeah. But to speak truth to power, that's a, it's bullshit. There's some politicians that step out and go, this is bullshit. You know, some do. But you know, that's why the Republican Party is so attracted to a lot of people now. Because Donald Trump gave the illusion that he was speaking truth to power. And now you got all these disturbing policies. Fake news, everything is a fake news. I don't care. Fake news everywhere. This is a very good, very good podcast. Brilliant idiots. I'm a brilliant idiot. I'm just an idiot. No, I'm not an idiot. I'm brilliant. You guys are the idiots. Fake news, fake news. But it's not like all like you said. Everything's fake, Charlemagne. Your name is not really Charlemagne. That is very true. Fake news. Piece of shit. This is a piece of shit podcast. You should be very embarrassed. But you see all of these conservatives. Yeah, I get it. Even if it's disgusting, even if it's racist, even if it's sexist, even if it's homophobic. Yeah. They're speaking it true. They say keep it 100. They keep it 100. And sadly, you're going to find a tribe of tens of millions of people in America. I'm speaking your truth. What would you do? Change with the Democratic Party? Yeah. I don't know. Give them some courage. Yeah, maybe some more courage. Like talk that shit. I guess I enjoy that. And some more humor. I think that's what's missing in the Democratic Party is like they're trying to make sure everybody's comfortable and there's not like funny about comfort. Yeah. So it's just like go up there and talk that shit. Be funny, piss some people off. Yeah. Like, yeah, I would love that. Stop trying to appease everybody. It's annoying. And it looks phony. Yeah. Did you do that? Oh, man. Republic. Because black people were actually Republicans first. Different ideologies didn't they? Yeah. But I would try to shit. The gun law shit. Try. I've got that gun shit. Like you got to have a fucking head exam before you get a fucking gun. Probably so. I wouldn't keep people from having guns, but you got to have a mental examination, man. You got to. And you can't be five years old with a fucking. Maybe in the comfort of your own home, you teach, I got that. But nah, you can't be walking around with that shit. That shit is crazy. You can have it if you're sane, you're qualified. That has to be more strict, I think. I don't understand why people can't be pro-gun, but also pro-gun control. Yeah. And there's no reason for a civilian to have an AR-15. No, you shouldn't have that. But I would leave in two. Hey, I like my guns, but I don't have an AR-15. Right. And you should know an AR-15 is a problem if the police pull up somewhere and they're like, shit, his gun bigger than ours. We might have to win, but I'm not just rushing in there. We not properly equipped to go in there and go to war with this guy. And reparations, God damn it. I mean, yeah, I would try to get that going, you know, the police thing. Yeah. Yeah, let's set the chest up. But, you know, killing our police thing. Yep. Hey. And of that too, maybe try to take care of that part. And the black thing. Try to take care of that. I keep telling these cops, stop killing these black dudes. You're fucking up your fantasy football choices. What? The same guys they cheer for, the ones they're fucking killing. You're right. Sorry. It's the same one. The same young black man, you cheer the ones that are scoring touchdowns for you and bringing championships to your city. They'll kill some other races of people. They don't play ball. Oh, man. Let's do one more and get out of here. Why are you killing them? How the fuck is it a you need? Don't get it. Come on. Give us one more. Tell us. Get a good one. Let's get a good one. You scroll back from good ones just now. I like those what if scenarios. Scroll up again. Right there. Right there. Oh, I like this. Let's end on this one. This is ego on steroids. Wow. Would you rather snitch on your homies or cheat on your girl? Cheat on my girl. My girl can't beat my ass. Oh, we don't know what they did. Nah, my girl can't beat my ass. What did the guys do? Nah, you know what the snitch means. Snitch is a fucking snitch. Well, what did my girl do for me to cheat on her? We're going to do that. I'd rather cheat on my girl and snitch on my homies. Because I can fight my girl. I can tell. I go, yo, what's good? What's good? I would rather snitch on my homies for cheating on their girl. We got wives, bro. Where is it? We got wives. We got to keep these screens clean for us. I know you got wives, but I'm just saying, I'm single. I don't want to get fucked up. Yeah. Oh, no, I wouldn't tell on you. I only tell on married people. Damn. You're going to suffer with me and this shit, bro. You're going to do like Kobe Bryant. But what about Shaq? What about Shaq? Yo, ya'll let the day... Your man out here having fun. Hey, your man out here having fun. And you need to come collect his asses of bullshit. He gave a girl a million dollars. What? What would you rather do, Shaq? Snitch on your homies and cheat on your girl. I would never cheat on my wife, bro. Word. But if it was my girl, if it's just a girl, you know what I'm saying? If it's a girl, if it's just a girl, if it's just a girl, if it's a random girl, you got it. She don't know the way of the girl. It depends on the offense that the homies did. No, those are the homies. They went through for life. We're already married. Yeah. I'm married to my homies. All of y'all might be doing life before hood. Oh, I hear what you're saying. Bro, before hood. So if I'm a trillion boys in the hood, I want to get out this car, but don't let me out. But then don't merge this guy. Oh, now I'm part of that shit. And then they come to me the next day. Oh, wow. Ain't no spalming, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? You're taking stuff from a movie, bro. I know you're a stop. You and your analogies. If it's on the menu, you want spaghetti, or you want pizza. So it's the same thing as transgender, huh? No. I'd rather not. I don't know. I'm not cheating on my girl, Lisa. I'm saying that much. I can deal with anything else other than that. I can't deal with that, bro. I cannot. I would love to be an S&P here. Marry to have a nice dope chick that you've never seen. That's what I'm telling you. Everybody wants to get to that point. I don't have anything, so. You're on your way, Godfrey. Any psycho chicks out there, any of you with mental problems, I'm going to run into you. That's me, boy. Fucking run into psychopaths. Thank you for coming, Godfrey. Don't worry. I'm going to track all of you. Don't even worry. All mentally unstable broads. How you doing? Don't worry. I'll meet you right after this fucking podcast. I thought she was cool. Nope. She said you punched her in the face and you never did it. Oh, my God, man. I'm the king of that shit. The king of what? I would be single forever. I'd run into fucking psychopaths. Punching girls in the face. No, no, no. She said I punched her in the face because she hit herself and said he hit me. I'm like, no, I didn't. Just based on the true story? Yes. I said, no, I didn't. I never did it. That's why I've used, that's why I use analogies, Godfrey. I learned my lesson about telling true stories. You got to use analogies. You couldn't do it. Those are good. What's love got to do with it? Reference to nature. It's called a hypothetical game. Hey, hey, that was, that was my material. It's just entertainment. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart. You think we're intelligent. You think we're brilliant. Absolutely right. What if you think we're just a couple of idiots that don't know shit? You're right, too. It's the brilliant idiots podcast. Thank you for listening. Damn right.