 The Grape Nuts Flakes Program coming to you from New York City where we are playing to an audience of men on leave from the armed services and starring Jack Benny. With Mary Livingston, Dennis Day Rochester, yours truly, Don Wilson, and our guest conductor, Benny Goodman. Friends, have you ever noticed how some folks just sleep through their breakfast? Well, they drift to the table, they nibble at nothing, and they float to the station. And then all of a sudden, about halfway to lunch, they're wide awake with that hungry, all gone sensation. Well, here's what to do about that situation. You just bring on a breakfast that stars malty, rich, toasty brown Grape Nuts Flakes. A bowl full of crisp, tempting, sweet as a nut Grape Nuts Flakes acts as a really grand breakfast time eye opener. For Grape Nuts Flakes bring you a wide awake goodness, a flavor that teases your taste. That's because it's an outstanding, rich, two grain blend of sun-ripened wheat and malted barley combined in a very special way. So don't rely on the alarm clock and don't resort to icy showers. Eat up and wake up with delicious, malty, rich Grape Nuts Flakes. This is Jack Benny talking. And, Don, what do you mean the Bob Hope of the Grape Nuts Flakes Program? I don't get it. Well, after all, Jack, there are a lot of similarities between you and Bob Hope, aren't there Mary? Of course there are. Oh yeah, name one. Well, for one thing, he's on the radio and you're on the radio. True, true. And he's a comedian and you're a comedian. Yes. And Hope started in Vaudeville and you started in Vaudeville. That's right. And Hope makes pictures at Paramount and Paramount kicked you out. True. Now wait a minute. I wasn't thrown out of Paramount. Then why did you leave? I asked them to put a shower in my dressing room. They punched holes in the roof. It didn't rain for 40 days, so I quit. Anyway, I made some swell pictures at Paramount, especially my last one, for whom the bell tolls. Oh, now hold on, Jack. Gary Cooper plays the lead and for whom the bell tolls. Well, he might play the lead, but that bell doesn't ring by itself, brother. I'm the guy. Listen, Don, I'm the guy that pulls that rope. They had a rope at Paramount. They'd hung you a long time ago. Oh, what are you talking about? Say, Mr. Benny, I took your violin over to get a new bridge. Oh, hello. Hello, Dennis. Hello. Say, Mr. Benny, I took your violin over to get a new bridge put on it like you told me to. What did you say, Dennis? I said I took your violin over to get a new bridge put on it like you told me to. Oh, a new bridge on my violin, eh? How does it look? Well, I think the man over did it a little. There's water running under it. Water under the bridge? Let's see that violin. Well, I'll be darned. There is at that. Putting in the goldfish was my idea. Well, that's a fine fix you put me in. Now I'll have to use another fiddle for my performance tonight. You see, fellas, my agent booked me as the guest violinist on a program later this evening. Well, that's very interesting. What program is it? I say, why don't you have to play the fiddle? It must be a short-wave broadcast to Tokyo. It is not. It's a coast-to-coast hookup. And as long as I've got that water under the bridge, I'm going to play the blue danube. And for a finish, you can eat the goldfish. Just tune in to Fred Allen, sister. I'll do all right. I think Mr. Benny is one of the finest violinists I ever heard. Thanks, Dennis. I've got a job, and I'm going to keep it by golly. All right, kid, you gave me a beautiful compliment. Don't spoil it. Now it's about time for your song, so let's have it. Okay. Same as Mr. Benny. I'll probably get plugged for this. But when I got my check this week, there was something wrong with it. What do you mean there was something wrong with it? Well, I'll probably get plugged for this. Stop saying that. What was wrong with your check? Well, you took 5% off. What was that for? Oh, well, I'm glad you asked me that, kid. I've been meaning to explain it to you. Mary and Don, you might as well listen to this, too. Since January 1st, 5% of all salaries have been paid. 5% of all salaries and wages have been withheld at the source. This has been officially designated as the victory tag. Oh, I get it. You deduct the money from our salaries and send it to Washington. Exactly. Is that clear to you, Dennis? Well, I'll probably get plugged for this. Will you stop saying that? Well, how do I know you turned this money into the government? I have to turn it in. That's the idea of it. And here's another important point for everybody. Patriotic Americans will not let this new and necessary tax interfere in any way with the commitments they have made for the regular purchase of war bonds. In Canada, folks should buy victory bonds and war-saving stamps. And now, Dennis, let's have your song. It becomes you sung by Dennis Day, our own Irish Bluebird. And very good, Dennis. Irish Bluebird? Green is the color for the Irish, Mr. Benny. I know, I know. You know now. Oh, he did know. But if you want to be so technical, kid, you're an Irishman that's been out in the cold. You're a little blue. That makes you a bluebird. Well, speaking of birds, Jack, I have a very clever message which involves our feathered friends. Would you like to hear it? Why? I mean, why surely, Don? Go ahead. Now, see how many different birds you can pick out. Different birds? Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, you can always sparrow enough money for great nuts flakes as they are very pheasant and easy to swallow. Well, they're sparrow, pheasant and swallow. Go ahead. Whether you're a boy or a gull, you will eagerly await great nuts flakes each morning. Well, they're gull and eagle. Peacock they contain. Peacock! They contain iron, niacin, and vitamin B1. Well, that's very good, Don. Yes, considering I have a cold, cockatoo. And down at was swell, I thrush everybody enjoyed it. Hey, I, uh, I got a bird in there, too. Here comes another one right from the Bronx. Mary. And now, fellas, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll let you handle the rest of the program. I want to drop over and see Phil Baker at the hospital. Phil Baker? Oh, yes, I missed him on his program. I've seen the hospital before. Well, Phil went to the doctor to have his appendix examined. That's right. So he asked the doctor to take it or leave it, and he took it. Well, I don't know if that's exactly the way it happened, but he had his appendix out and he's a pretty sick guy. Well, if he's so sick, this is no time to try and collect that $64. You didn't win when you were on his program. Listen, Mary, technically, I did win. He didn't pay me, that's all. Well, I'll probably get slugged for this. There he goes again. I'll probably get slugged for this, but I don't understand what you're talking about. Look, kid, a few weeks ago, Phil Baker beat me out of $64. That I have to see. Well, he did. Now, wait a minute, Jack. I heard the program you were on, and when Phil asked you the $64 question, you gave the wrong answer. I gave the right answer. Phil asked me if I could name 37 composers who tried to finish Schubert's unfinished symphony, and I said no, I couldn't. That's the right answer. I'm going to the hospital now, straighten this thing out with Baker. Well, you'll never catch him when he's weaker. That's a point in my favor. Can I come along with you, Mr. Benny? What do you want to go to the hospital for? Well, maybe Mr. Baker has a beautiful nurse and I'll fall madly in love with her and ask her to marry me until she'll turn me down and I'll commit suicide. What an imagination. Well, I'll like you can come with me, kid. Now, where's Benny Goodman? Right here, Jack. Say, Jack, have you seen my clarinet? Right there behind your ear, he wears it like a pencil pole. Benny, have you got a nice hot tune prepared for us? Yeah, I'm going to play one of the numbers I'm doing at the Paramount Theater this week. Oh, you had to give yourself a little plug, huh? A little advertising, huh? Well, at least my headband doesn't say movie star in it like yours does. It's a very nice of you to call me because I haven't seen Rochester nearly a week. Do you happen to know where he is? Who? Rochester. Oh, that's randomized. Yes. Where's he been? That boy loves you, Mr. Benny. I know, I know, you said that random. Well, he's got right in front of your home. His typewriter? What does he need a typewriter for? Doesn't he write your program? Harvest or whatever your name is, tell that boy that loves me to be at my hotel tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock. Okay. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye. Imagine making up such a ridiculous name as Random Harvest Brown. Fine chance he had to fool me. Come on, Dennis, let's go. Wait a minute. I'm going with you. All right, come on. Play, Benny. Bill Baker's in the Northwest Side Hospital on 83rd Street. Oh. You know, Mary, if I collect that 64 bucks, you and I will go out seven. I love those nightclubs. You haven't been to a nightclub since the time you drank champagne out of Lillian Russell's clipper. She had a small shoe, but I got loaded. Hey, hey, driver, step on it, will ya? Your wish is my command. Well, well, polite fellow, isn't he? Can't understand why Baker's still in bed. Well, the operation was only two weeks ago. Look, when I had my tonsils taken out, I went home the next day. You never left the house. Rochester took them out with a can opener. We use regular instruments. Gee whiz, Mr. Benny, did Rochester really take your tonsils out? There was nothing to it. Snip, snip. Driver, a little faster, please. We want to get there. It is yours to request. Mine to obey. Mine isn't any formal, huh? Hey, Jack, can't we stop at this little restaurant up here and get something to eat? I'm starving. Me too. We can eat at the hospital. Baker's room will be full of fruit and candy and nothing. Hey, driver, that's the hospital right ahead, isn't it? It is mine to drive, yours to point out. No, stop. This is it, all right. Well, here we are. How much are we, driver? That'll be 65 cents or $1, including tip. Wait a minute. What makes you think I'm going to give you a 35-cent tip? It is mine to dream, yours to disillusion. Well, just for that, here's a dollar. Goodbye, driver. Goodbye. If you like me, tell your friend. If not, not. Here's the main entrance. Let's go in. She's a beautiful hospital. Wow, what a big lobby. Wow, what a big lobby. That echo again. He's got a cold tonight. I'm Jack Benny. I'm Jack Benny. You try it, Dennis. I'm Dennis Day. I'm Dennis Day. Now you, Mary. I'm Mary Livingston. With a cold like this, I got to do a dame. The information desk, I'll find out where to go. Say, miss. Yes, sir. Can you tell me what room Mr. Phil Baker's in? I'm Jack Benny. So I see, but you happen. Oh, yes. Now what's Phil Baker's room number? He's on the fourth floor. Come on, kids. Here's the elevator. Oh, yeah. Rochester. Yeah, he does it there. What's your name, buddy? Brown. I'll be darned. Thank you to that boy. Say, random. Do you know a fellow named Rochester? That boy really loves you, Mr. Bennett. He knows me. That boy. Boy. I would tell me amazing. I swear it was Rochester. Camp? I can't get over. Now, let's see. Where's Phil's room? It must be down this corridor. Oh, yes. Dr. Jones, they just found the glass. I guess this is Phil Baker's room here with the star on the door. Boy, is he hammy. Now, Jack, for heaven's sake, don't mention the $64 right away. Don't worry. I know how to handle it. Well, hello, Phil. Oh, kids. Glad you dropped in. How do you feel? Well, I'll probably get slugged for this, but I feel fine. How do I slug you? I just came up to see how you were getting along. Wish you luck and talk over a little matter of $64. Well, that's sweet of you, Jack. But I don't need any money. Well, you see, Phil, I was talking to my lawyer last week, and he thinks I have a pretty good case. Did you make up like you fell in the subway again? I thought you gave up that racket. I'm not suing the subway. Now, look, Phil. You owe me $64, and I want it right now. Now, come on, hand it over. Jack, will you please take your knee out of my incision? Oh, pardon me. Now, Phil, you give me that $64, or you'll be sorry. Get it? On your program, you'll be sorry. Oh, Jack, be more subtle. Suckle-schmuckle. I want my money. Now, Phil. Pardon me, Mr. Baker. Did I give you three little white pills about an hour ago? Yes, you did. Who's that? That's Miss Stewart, my nurse. She's awfully absent-minded. Yeah, she seems to be, yeah? Yesterday, she poured alcohol on my pancakes and rubbed my back with maple syrup. Alcohol on pancakes? I was so cocky I fell out of bed four times. Well, that's awful. She really is absent-minded. This morning, she gave me a shot in the arm with a fountain pen. A fountain pen? Ever shot. You remember. Now, listen, Phil, speaking of $64. Who's speaking of $64? Look, Phil, I know you're a sick man and all that, but technically, I won $64 when I was on your program. Now, the least you can do is give me another chance and another question. Okay, answer this one for $64. Shoot. Who's the cheapest guy in the world? I am. Now, give me that $64. That's wrong, because I am. I'm not going to pay it. Here, Phil Baker. Let me by doctor. Come in. Well, well, how's my patient today? What are you doing out of bed, you bad boy? Patient, that's Baker. I'm right there. Oh, well, you look sicker than he does. You've got to admit that. I admit nothing. Say, Doc, can I get up today? I've got my own program to do. Well, I have to check on that. Open your mouth and say, ah! My, my, they're healing up fine. Wait a minute, Doc, you took out my appendix, not my tonsils. Who was under that ether? You or me? Wait a minute. You mean to say you took out his tonsils and his appendix? Yeah, that's a special. I was running last week. I sold the appendix on a tour through Radio City 1250. Ah, that's good value. Now, uh, Mr. Baker, what you need is a little medicine. Take this pill and you'll feel fine. Okay. Well, where's the pill? It's right here, but I can't seem to get it off my finger. That's a wart. The pill's in the other hand. Oh, yes. Well, here you are. There. Good night, Mr. Baker. Sleep tight. Wait a minute, Doc. What kind of a pill was that you gave him? A strong sedative. He'll be in Dreamland in sight of a minute. Dreamland? I gotta work fast. Now, Phil, come and play. Oh, Jack, let him alone. Phil needs rest. Well, he's going to sleep. But I need that $64. Now, Phil, Phil, open your eyes. Phil, listen to me. What do you want, nurse? I'm not your nurse. I'm Betty. Now, listen, Baker, my lawyer said that when I was on your program, I want $64. Now, I want that money right now. Kiss me good night, Miss Stewart. I'm not Miss Stewart. Now, I won't kiss you good night till I get that money. Now, give me that check I filled out, Dennis. Here you are. You didn't take a pill. Wake up. Now, Phil, Phil, wake up. Baker, listen to me. Wake up. It's just grape nut flakes. During the past three years, the increase in your purchases of grape nut flakes and there's a reason. In fact, two big reasons. First, it's that malty-rich flavor, the popular flavor of grape nuts in delicious toasty plate warm. Second, it's that grand nourishment for grape nut flakes or a whole grain cereal bringing you important food factors found in the natural whole wheat plus extra vitamin B1. Food badges recommended as a part of your daily diet by our National Nutrition Program. So join the swing to better bike routes. Serve delicious, nutritious grape nut flakes America's fastest growing bike with cereal. That was the last number of the 15th program of the new grape nut flakes series. And we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. And I'm very happy to announce that Bill Baker is feeling much better and will return to his own program this evening. Here's one for your memory books, friends. Note this name. Hot Grape Nut Sweet Meal. Hot cereal member of the popular grape nut family. Extra delicious, extra nutritious. It cooks extra fast. You'll smack your lips over its roasted wheat goodness. You'll relish that glorious full-bodied texture. Chalk full of important whole grain food values stepped up with added vitamin B. You got that name? Hot Grape Nut Sweet Meal. This program came to you from New York. This is the National Broadcasting Company.