 It's a human thing, to feel wanted, to be long, to be happy, to want more, to get some of that attention, to be seen, heard, felt, it makes us feel good, we're happy, why? Our brain releases the chemical called dopamine, has nothing to do with the word dope, I mean, we love it, we get hooked, we want more, to keep up with the flow, to keep feeling good, to top what used to be enough, but now not. Ooh, someone else is getting the attention, they look happy, we're jealous, but what's their story? Who cares? Whatever they're doing is working, we like that, we want that, we want some of that feel good, the new good, the real good, copycat, Roger that, but before we get that, there's a new kind, a new grind, we keep wanting to fit in, the new scene, to feel seen, you got it, wait, where am I? Who am I? Why am I chasing this killer high? Dopamine is dope, I mean, but am I happy? It's exhausting, I know, this thing will drain you. Yo, welcome to my channel, my name is Kwame and I'm a documentary filmmaker and photographer and voiceover artist based in Accra, Ghana and welcome to my channel, it's okay. This channel is my attempt to make sense of life and the human experience in general and I'm happy that you are here. Now I've realized something interesting in the past couple of weeks and that is the universe has been sending me a message and it's not even being coy about it, it's direct in my face and it feels like the universe doesn't want me to dwell on the things I don't have or not getting or quit when there's so much to be grateful for. If I had released this video three weeks ago, instead of the vlog I made about the great Sunday I spent with Elaine as Kukrobi Tigardin, it would have been a completely different outcome. Now three weeks ago, after I released my video about the book by Humble the Poets, Things No One Else Can Teach Us, I was pretty excited about sharing it, especially after the work I put into it, I expected some level of reception than what it got and looking back over the past couple of months leading to that day, my videos had been doing relatively well in my opinion, however, engagement had been dwindling and YouTube has lifestats to show for it. So it started to get to me honestly like why, what is happening, I put a lot of work into it you know and when I promote these videos on my social media, the amount of retweets and the likes and what not makes it look like there'd be more engagement than what I see at the end of the day. So I started to think with all the work that goes into planning, setting up, recording, editing, is it even worth it if I don't feel it? See it? See? Complaining. And I think maybe if I improve the production quality by getting a different camera than what I have currently which is the ATD, maybe it'll look better and they'll watch it because it looks nice. But the truth is the untrained eye can't even tell the difference or better yet doesn't even care. I put a lot of pressure on myself this way you know by trying to constantly find new ways to present my story to make it attractive which I think is wrong and unfair to me. I'm losing sight of what the channel is about in the first place that is a therapy and a practice to learn and to grow, to do more and to ultimately enjoy making mistakes while living for the stories. That is what this channel is about. So after coming up with my next video idea with the caption, it's so easy to quit or something like that. I didn't get a chance to record it before the trip to Gokorobite Garden and it felt like you know some conspiracy after the universe you know gave me a little distraction which I didn't even know I needed and I turned into a vlog. A topic I was passionate about making a vlog on started changing from complaining to gratitude and that's when the universe started throwing subtle messages at me with tweets and YouTube videos and messages all over. My friend Motombo posted a tweet about creating regardless of how it's accepted because the internet never forgets and then comes Nathaniel Drew's video on why you are feeling discouraged which essentially talks about the portrayal of the seemingly perfect lives everyone seems to be having on the internet when in actual fact it's just a presentation of what people want you to see even if there may be some truth in what they show you is the truth they want you to see that may be why yours isn't feeling so right. And then there was Nick Nimmin's video to top it all off that comes you know the very next day saying that this video will stop you from quitting YouTube I was like okay it's enough. I went from I'm tired this is so difficult I don't even know if it's worth it to I'm not alone and I've done so much so well and there's everything to be grateful for so if you're watching this video now it's most probably the 11th of June and it's been six months since I started this journey and there's so much to be grateful for so much the first one actually is I'm grateful for life I'm here I'm healthy and I have a roof over my head and food to eat it's more than enough for me and I'm also grateful for the opportunity to actually create to do to learn and to live for something I believe and it still beats me that sometimes it's going so well that the things I've been able to do in this short time regardless of you know the disappointments and the feeling that I could be better off I've managed to achieve a lot I'm grateful for my wife my biggest support and of course my best friend they put up with me hijacking our living space for work when I have to record a vlog they are both very supportive people I'm grateful for them I'm grateful for my friends who do a little more than supporting by watching and also going to the extent of showing up and helping or making suggestions and sharing ideas I'm really grateful for them I'm grateful for all the people have come into contact with one way or the other that has contributed either directly or indirectly to my journey so far I'm grateful for you watching right now liking commenting and even the people disliking at least you came here so it's all good there's so much I'm grateful for and I'll continue to be ideally I should be doing this every month I did it for my fifth month and now this one but I don't I don't want to do it every month that's just gonna tire you and myself honestly so hopefully you see gratitude and action in my videos like you may have seen in the recent one which I was spending the day out with my wife I cook ruby tea and honestly I can't promise that I wouldn't complain again or crave more or feel like giving up I'm human but I'll try and focus on the good and keep it going so I want to say thank you to all the 907 subscribers at the time of this recording if you haven't hit the bell button to get notified when I post a new video please do and like this video as well it does mean a lot to me and if you haven't subscribed yet I really don't know what you're waiting for hit that subscribe button and the bell button and cheers to six months of awesomeness and so many more Peace