 As-salamu alaikum and welcome to Making a House a Home with myself, Sana'a Araji and our guest, Fahima Muhammad, a qualified life coach and an NLP practitioner. As-salamu alaikum Fahima. Now today one of the topics we're going to be discussing is Encouraging Continuous Learning and Personal Development. Yes. Can you emphasize a bit about this subject for us? Yeah, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la even states in the holy book that those of you who believe will have the highest ranks of seeking and attaining knowledge. So you know we have to obviously bring it back to what is you know required upon us as we you know our believers and also that you know it's it's an obligation you know for every Muslim to be acquiring and seeking knowledge continuously throughout their life and also that you know knowledge should be seeked and taken upon from cradle to grave. So our Holy Prophet peace be upon him and the family you know has very you know distinctly made these sort of statements so that we can actually build upon ourselves as individuals no matter where we are in life no matter what age or stage or anything and you know it's really normal that we say this a lot and we hear this and we have a lot of professionals especially in our communities they you know with the highest sort of like you know degrees and levels and continuous learning but I want to address something which is slightly different which is having knowledge and having wisdom and having personal development is slightly different. Knowledge you know we have information and now it's so widely available we can even go and sometimes diagnose ourselves as you know when we before we go to the GP we can Google we get all the information of you know available to us very simple and easy and that's knowledge so we need to take a step further with this statements that the Quran has given us to say that when people are just only satisfied with that sort of knowledge it is not enough we need to continue and we need to look deeper and we need to give it more meaning and when that becomes knowledge about like the academics and the world environment and whatever that may be that's good learning and it's you know it's good awareness but personal development now that's a whole new level of learning it's it's it's what I work with most definitely with people to you know improve themselves and develop themselves and even the ones that are the most professional the ones that are such in high levels and positions in their you know you know in their companies or in their businesses they find it hard to cope with the mundane things or the things that you and I would find you know quite normal and you know everyday life and again it's to do with the psychology and a lot of personal developers they they call gurus personal development crew gurus they suggest even that even if you have a talent or a skill right in order for it to actually be to its potential 80% of you being successful is the psychology and the 20% is the skill and the talent so the personal development is so so vital for us as individuals to take it upon ourselves to learn and develop how and where we think we behave and in our P neuro linguistic programming is what I'm you know certified in as well you know it helps people understand the way in which they communicate internally and externally to ourselves and to others and it's so important vital in our businesses in our interactions at home at work colleagues wherever we are and personal development a lot of adults do it but I try to even have children even think about it too because from a young age you need to be able to be resilient you need to be able to be versatile you need to be able to overcome challenges this is all personal development learning so you might have knowledge of mindfulness for example or positive psychology which again I'm also certified in with regards to coaching how do we use this in a practical basis to actually put in our lives a lot of people know it a lot of people know it they can give you the theory they can tell you what it means they can tell you just how it works but they don't practice it now I work with clients to help them make it part of their daily routine and life okay and I help them hold them accountable especially if they're going to continue with me learn a bad way because they see the transformation they see the differences and it's unbelievably amazing and it does have a huge impact in their lives personally and professionally it has a huge impact in the way in which they look at life regardless of you know what they're facing and the client's feedbacks is like you know my situation has probably gone worse but you know what I'm handling it now that's the difference that's the power of having knowledge continuous learning and especially personal development your psychology of your surroundings of your awareness of how to deal with life how to understand life you know Islam gives us the meaning and our purpose of being here when I did existential coaching as well it's about trying to understand and you know build yourself as a human where you understand our purpose for being here and for us we know that from a religious perspective but we also have to understand that yes there's givens where we know there's life and life and death we know there's certain things we can see there's certain things we see but we know we don't know of we we also know that we don't know things completely it's blind spots so we want to create awareness that we can bring ourselves to the point where we can deal with stuff that we don't see at all or if it comes to us we're able to deal with it okay life is complicated and at the same time it can be simple depending how you look at it so with when you like for example when someone comes to you and you coach them it can help them react differently to a challenge that before would have maybe been you know a huge a huge thing to them and would have affected their emotional status their life their you know their working life their social groups whereas they would now be more resilient with certain things and I think resilience is a really key thing for children as well because a lot of the time what they find difficult is to overcome challenges or pick themselves up to pick themselves up and to find ways to deal with it so in that aspect what you're saying is quite beneficial to kind of coach them towards you know achieving that yes and Islam always says what is your meaning and purposes life is here it's life is a test of course yes we keep saying it but then we keep complaining when we keep getting these tests and we don't know what to do and we get anxious stressful and we get depressed not to say that these things don't overwhelm us that we cannot get to the stages no absolutely we do get to it because we're humans and we have our weaknesses and shortcomings but I mean there to tell you there are steps and stages and ways in which you can overcome this or you can prevent yourself from doing this or getting to that stage of depression which is really really vital a lot of people seek counseling as well and they divulge in their past but with coaches we look at the present and we move forward so that's the difference it's not really like counseling we don't feel that our clients needs fixing or they're broken they just come to a crossroads and they just need to know which direction to take or they're a little bit overwhelmed with certain things and they need to be able to cope better or perform at the higher level than they are doing already so it's really a healthy way of you know living life to seek this it's not a therapist but a life coach is there to you know encourage you and to open up your view a lot wider okay and to see things differently and to also interrupt that internal dialogue that's continuously in your mind that's telling you these stories that stops you that makes you doubtful makes you suspicious makes you feel whatever negative things because that's the normal human mind is that feeling of negativity which is vital for our survival but if you don't understand it well enough it could hold you back especially with fear and it controls you and it controls you and again with fear I have given lots of talks on overcoming fear and being more confident and positive and that comes into it so I think when we look at education we need to change our view a little bit because it's so much more widespread and it's not just gaining information it's what information is going to do for us practically how we're going to use it in our daily lives it's just like with prayer we know how to pray we know the benefits of prayer and we do it in robotic form without gaining the real benefits because it's so continuous in a sense that it's kind of done blindly when you sit and reflect and mindfulness can help with that and you know and knowing that if you give it a set amount of focus then those benefits will actually come into play so it's really important that we find ourselves especially when we are already accomplished and adults to not stop because it's very easy for us to say we've done our degree our masters we've you know we've done what we needed to do and you know and we're not connecting with our children and this life is difficult it's not difficult it's just you're not understanding it because you're not in it you're not willing to learn anything new because you think what you know is enough yeah that is one group of you know adults and then the other group of adults is they will take it upon themselves to be continuously learning but then also the direction they go in is like further courses of study which is about which is not a bad thing but again it's more like academic level where you know learning a different subject learning a different skill which is fine but they do not work on their mind yeah they do not work on how to cope with things they do not work on how to see things they do not work on understanding human behavior human nature and I think everyone has a responsibility to do that even every school should be I gave a talk to a local school about introducing coaching and education because it's vital for teachers and for the children it really is vital for any type of human in whichever profession you're in to add it alongside what you're doing it brings a different sense of a being when you are becoming more of a coach you know you have a different way of thinking of understanding of you know questioning and listening deeply and you actually within that person's you know environment sitting with them totally for them on the same level and that is so special and that is so you know those sessions that I have it just from that hour or whatever they choose to do that few minutes that they have you know I'm a catalyst for what happens afterwards or in between you know when you have a different sense of information and you actually use it you don't realize how you are growing and learning when people say they don't have time to read books I download my books on iPhone I books on my phone and I will even spend maybe two minutes or five minutes waiting for somebody and I will just open one page and read something and one information one line from that book is something I will remember forever then saying I've read you know a whole like book in a week and do that and even people who find if they do find it too difficult articles there's so many ways so many ways there's we're constantly bombarded with information wherever we go billboards leaflets brochures and articles online so that we always have opportunities to absorb information obviously we do need to be careful that it's genuine and it's you know it's fake news and where the resources are from but we have like you said there are so many ways that we are able to learn develop read and do you feel sometimes with professions like you had mentioned before they're a bit complacent because they think because they do know they're at a certain level where they've studied they've got a bachelor maybe a master's a PhD and a lot of the time I've heard stories with certain individuals where suicidal rates are high yeah is that where that's coming from that's interesting actually because it's just like with anything in life you chase something and if there's no meaning and purpose into it because you've got a site to say this degree or this master's of this bachelor or PhD is going to actually give me what is fulfilling to my life it's not if with the right psychology right do understand the psychology has to be behind it for genuine congruent reasons as to why you're doing it not just for society not just for your own pleasure because that own pleasure should be more than that thing or that person or a situation or anything it has to just be inside happiness is inside you know self-fulfillment is inside all of that's inside and it's alone not a partner not even your children not even your parents can give you that that's a bonus but you know we put all of that hope happiness fulfillment on things around us that's why society is breaking because when things go wrong then we go wrong but when things go wrong and an individual can you know accept grieve for a certain amount of time as to I failed or I've lost someone or I've you know I'm separated or divorced or I didn't achieve what I needed to achieve and then pick themselves up very very rapidly and do something even better and use that past as a learning now you cannot do that from a book theory you cannot do that just from you know having knowledge on a surface you got to be smarter and knowing that you've got meaning and purpose in life more so than what's at your surroundings in your environment or even people or the economy and use anything as an excuse and that's where even our faith and belief comes in that's our power and our protection and at the same time it gives us that sort of like kickstart and jumpstart to sort of pick ourselves up knowing that life is a struggle that's where it all sort of like you know unravels and unfolds that when you teach children how to live in this world it's not just about the education it's about knowing what to do with that education what to do with that knowledge how to cope with these situations it's really really about coping with challenges we don't teach that we want to avoid it and we don't want to change and we don't want to adapt and change is what people hate the most yeah but it comes to you even more so in any situation whether it's in relationships or in professionals or whatever it may be you know change is inevitable and being uncomfortable you need to be uncomfortable and take yourself out of those comfort zones and that's what's gonna make you learn do something you've never done before don't just do the one subject of the topic that you think you're good at do the complete opposite at one point if you have the time and energy in space or you're at that age in your life where you do something because you know you need to flip your mind do something like you wouldn't do you know that wouldn't be ordinary part of your routine challenge yourself you have to challenge yourself and the challenges don't come to you yes you definitely got to challenge yourself bring it on yourself absolutely and what people are scared of the most it's the challenge and the fear of failure I feel a lot of people that I come across they're too scared to put themselves in the spotlight because they're fearful that they will do something wrong or they will be judged and you just need to go for it again listening to your language just right now it's so common that people always focus on what could go wrong then what could go right and when you listen to a lot of personal development gurus and psychologists and now there's a lot out there on the YouTube on Facebook you know there's lots of this short videos on you know particular individuals that are very very well known speaking because now life is becoming so fast moving and forward even with all the development and technology that's around people are deteriorating in their mind and they're not kept being able to cope even with so much to make things easy for us techno you know in technology wise we ourselves as humans are failing you know we don't know how to cope with relationships we don't have to cope with you know with with any sort of like negative situation or challenges because you know and that's why all of this mindfulness and psychology and you know a lot of you know how to live and be and have a healthier you know sort of like well-being state of mind and body is is vital you know and a lot of it comes out there and you know the focus is you know for every situation how you look at it and to take yourself out of those perspectives and to understand the way in which your brain works and thinks and all of this all of this is knowledge learning and again personal development there are personal development courses I went to one and it gave you so many different distinctions about life and a lot of people said it was like a cult or a lot of people benefit and the others were like well I've taken bits from it I mean personally I don't really get influenced by any one particular thing I always absorb what I need to absorb and I put it together and I have a sort of like a variety of you know knowledge from coaching and positive psychology and mindfulness and you know whatever it may be and NLP and the personal development course and I'm constantly researching and reading about relationships and about you know just general psychology just so that I can keep myself up to date because it's continuously changing as well and you need to move with the language your language is so important by you saying something negative the negative will even happen and occur so panel of that so true you know so you know things like that makes a big difference and how you speak to each other and your children so what you your thoughts are so important and that relays in your in your actions and in your voice and you know and your habits all of these things are so vital so you need to be aware that regardless of the conventional and you know the normal education that is given in school that is just the tip of the iceberg as to what you need to learn and as parents and as individuals of the community we need to take it upon ourselves to either have workshops and you know bring societies and communities together with this type of learning about personal development about how to cope with certain things and you know raise topics and awareness like how we're doing in the show but on smaller scales in different areas so people have access to it and people can actually learn and have someone that they can turn to as a mentor as a role model and you know and learn to live life in a healthy way okay thank you so much for him I thank you for enlightening us on the subject and inshallah our viewers have also benefited from the discussion thank you so much unfortunately we do need to come to a break and inshallah after the break we will be answering some of the viewers questions Asalaamu Alaikum and welcome back to the second part of making a house a home where we've been discussing personal development and encouraging continuous learning now we're going to answer some of the questions viewers for him if you could answer them for me and we have a view he said how many Zina sorry how do I help my two-boy study they are both in secondary school but want to spend more time playing sports and I know they need that but I feel that I feel that they give very little to their academic studies okay parents need to take more control in managing time and being balanced and at the same time you know a lot of a lot of emphasis is placed upon what the child requires from their perspective so you need to know that even though they have their own idea of time you have to take back control and say you know if you want to do sports if you want to do certain things you still got to do half an hour 20 minutes of reading first or you got to do you know whatever it is it's got to be given take and it seems like I come across a lot of parents now that their children's are taking over and taking control as to how the household runs and the parents are letting it happen because they don't want to have the conflict have that conflict have that conflict have that discussion won't be a conflict you need to take time maybe a few days in a row or week after week to discuss this to get yourself to a place where you have taken back control and you are in control because these are your children that you are responsible for as much as they want certain things you are the parent with the extra knowledge and awareness and they got to understand that that whatever you decide to do is for their benefit that's one point that's very important because a lot of parents are losing control and because they feel they're not there enough they're working or there's not enough time and they're not managing it properly and this is I'm talking about parents who both work who do not have enough time because it's about quality it's about setting set rules even if they're there with their grandparent or a babysitter wherever it may be whoever's you know looking after them you got to put things into place and you got to set certain rules and I watched the program even about the Chinese you know mom and they quite strict and you know they quite you know militant and I do take some of that on board personally but to be honest there has to be balance but you got to encourage and push them and say that they can do more because if you don't give them that drive for having you know to want more for themselves from a young age they can easily slip and yes they get tired yes they get bored but when you come off to that day and you actually recollect what was actually happened for that day and how much they actually managed to do they might complain among the first day and the second day third day and then it will be okay so you know you again be when you become a coaching parent you know how to you know address these sort of scenarios with regards to you know making even studying being exciting and fun different ways of studying there is studying which people just have this you know general concept of you just sitting in front of your desk or computer or reading a book and it's mundane and it's boring and a lot of the times whatever you're studying and reading is not interesting but it's okay you need to do something that is not interesting you need to do something you don't like now we don't do that for our kids we only want to please them and make sure they're happy and they will get happiness but they have to also do things and you know study certain things and take things on that is not part of their happiness that they would specifically choose it's like when you go to GCSEs and you're studying for all these like 10 12 subjects you're telling me that everyone's gonna like each one of them no but every one of them has a plot to play in your life in the future where you need that certain amount of knowledge to go forward yeah you know so you need to you know be able to explain things to them and make them understand about this life and this world and how it works and then you know be put in situations and scenarios that you are uncomfortable you don't like yes it takes your time you could have been doing something better but you know what this is actually for your benefit too just like sometimes you need to take that medicine that tastes really horrible but that's gonna be you know gonna be that cure for you yeah what about like something visual for them like I know my my mom when I was young she would do a visual timetable of time for studying yes you can do that a planner of course sometimes the visual yes I said before the visual aids absolutely how I'll very much so monitor themselves depending obviously on their age even at a young age you're quite right that's perfect because then you organize then you know they taking responsibility and they're following something that you've both set together and actually make it where you both sit together and maybe give them a bit of leeway to say yes you know what I'm gonna do you know this first or that first whichever which they prefer as long as they're following exactly it will benefit both sides that's a very good idea you know to have a planner and have it big on there to be written so that you know that your child is getting a balanced lifestyle you know where they're gonna have play they're gonna have sport they're gonna have activities and they're gonna have that you know that general learning studying is not easy but you know what when you try and also make your children study not just when it's exam period but every day every day every day learn a fact every day pick up the encyclopedia every day listen learn a history point or whatever it may be you know you can come up with these creations that you know will get them to know things that when they build themselves up to a certain stage it's not gonna be so difficult for them even as adults exactly you need to do that be gradual process instead of just all together yes exactly it takes away the tension the stress and it sets them into a really good habit and routine knowing that this is what I gotta do whether I like it or not but when I do this I'm gonna do something else and plus I'm just gonna get it over and done with to begin with sometimes I might find you know I didn't even think I would enjoy that topic of that subject but now I'm actually finding interest in it because you're opening up that world for them and they are like sponges and your influence is vital and you have got influence if you take control yeah be that parent that is strong enough to be a leader in your household regardless of you know the time or anything you know show them that you know you love to learn and study and what it brings to you and give you and you speak with passion you speak with you know so much like you know like drive for you know learning and making them understand that that your family it's not about oh everyone's just gonna do pharmacy or you know medicine or dentistry no no no it's about you know building yourself as a human into something that is to be proud of not just in the academic level because you want to be able to have great conversations with people so you want to tell them a fact that you learned about you know in the encyclopedia about you know an animal or you know a plant or an insect you know things like that make it something that they need to know you know to give them a sense of personality now that is building character that is building a little human being who is going to be so amazing and bright in many areas not just what they like inshallah thank you so much for him for that inshallah hopefully that helps the the viewer I know it it can be challenging for us all parents definitely the most difficult things is homework so inshallah hopefully you're able to manage with that and the next viewer is Ali and the question is Islam is about increasing our knowledge but what advice can be given to teach and encourage children about their religion as well as to practice it again it's about how you look at religion because a lot of the times religion is negatively sort of portrayed that it's a must and it's a punishment if you don't and you know a lot of the times it's it's something that people are doing without understanding the meaning for it you got to pray you got a hijab you got to read Quran you got to learn the surah because you need to be the one on top so reciting it in the best way compared to all your friends and that's as far as parents go a lot of the time which isn't enough which is not even that the actual you know essence of it all it's just touching the tip of the iceberg okay what goes underneath it is you telling them a story about that surah or you telling them the reasons behind it and the protection it gives you and the blessings it gives you and you sitting and reading even even physiologically when you're performing salah it's a poem it's a form of having a person a particular way of breathing when you say certain things when you are bending and you're going down you know these are postures and frustrations that you know it's actually good for your body even in a scientific way you know so if you were to say like this is part of your exercise this is part of your you know your protection this is part of your spirituality this is part of you know your benefit this is part of you know your power to gain more and show them examples when they do certain things if they read certain things and some things happen and your experience share it Islam is so much more than what is just been said that you've got to do that's halal and what you're not supposed to do which is unlawful it is so much more in between your treatment of people your character you know and what that brings for you and the stories are vast and varied when it comes to Islam don't just concentrate on you know the the main points as well go deeper make it more exciting make them have the knowledge which is beyond you know whatever you would see normally so that's what children want to hear they love stories they love to hear there's a moral behind it in every story there's a moral behind it and with that there's a lesson as to how to live life better and how to be a better person how to treat people better how to cope better how to see things about life generally there's always morals behind these stories of the prophets of the imams you know of anything that you want to take upon just like some children they kind of idolize but they really like superheroes and they focus so much on superheroes make certain characters they're superheroes like there's this fantastic thing that I saw where a lady had created an Imam Hussein sip cup yeah I've seen that and I thought that is such a fantastic idea because it's constantly reminding them and they can see it's a figure of someone who was brave and he was you know it was on a battlefield and that they constantly reminded of Imam Hussein and his thirst and just having that object brings them towards religion so making certain characters their role models but also their superheroes and some so that can draw them amazing point that you've made because it just also made me think that you know we speak about the characters but whoever's created this has made it like into this day and age where it brings that importance because it's into something like an object because you know you see like a doll or you might see like you know a poster up there but we don't do that for our the images that we normally have but to have a reference to it in some form in some way that's physical then the child actually associates that was something important that they see elsewhere and it's the same thing with our religion that is so good and that's why we need to be creative and innovate in these more of like these ideas for children with regards to Islam and yes there are plenty books in this translations but in that form that is just the start of what needs to actually happen because that is so vital in building and taking Islam into another level which is in this day and age modern and what is used for other characters why can't we do it for this and educate in that way and they're gonna wonder even the younger one says who is that person who is that character just like they like a doll or a character from a different superhero or a movie you know they're looking at that in that particular way exactly and I think it's just a fantastic idea constantly bringing them towards that character being enlightening the love and you educating them and you giving them knowledge about what it represents what it gives them something so they they're physically doing something as well as learning and a lot of children they learn through physics like touching yes and the world we live in now unfortunately very materialistic and visual so and it's you need to have something to touch to in order to learn or to find it important so you know that was a fantastic idea to absolutely and learning is also for children with with regards to Islam it's more about also you know building that belief which is non-visible you know is having that some sort of spirituality you can't see you can't you know you can feel it each individual feels it differently so how do you relay that to your children you need to also a lot of adults probably don't do this because they themselves feel they have that lack of knowledge but a very simple you know essence or very simple you know technical point that you feel that you can create and make that something big and then from there it will grow and it's also an opportunity to remind yourself and educate yourself again yeah it's very true yeah thank you so much for that now we'll go into the next view it's Huda and the question is I have a disabled child and she is the last of three who are all normal but she was diagnosed with Down syndrome very late in my pregnancy but I knew I would I would still keep her because this is a gift however I do find that the rest of the community feel uncomfortable in her presence and look at look at me with pity I want to educate and make them realize that we are quite a normal family still even with the challenges but more awareness needs to be out that out there about dealing with disability now my daughter is is quite young and doesn't realize the stairs but as she gets older I do not want her to be affected by the difference of treatment towards her that is a very powerful statement and question because as much as we talk about everyday children you know trying to discover how to study and learn we do disregard people that are struggling with disability for example or any sort of like you know laps in their you know physical being or ability mentally as well and the awareness again is also about the psychology of how people around us need to sort of like come not with pity as she wants she wants understanding you know it's about also involving her to the normal because I have come across women that have children with disability and they created their own WhatsApp group because they felt that you know if they went into a normal sort of setting their child would either be left at home or would not be spoken about or even the siblings wouldn't understand that there's a difference until later on because they don't know how to relay that information to them and you know subhan Allah it's very brave of her to be talking and speaking out there because more of this needs to be out there and we need to be more inviting we need to be a little bit more knowing that differences exist even if it's not disability we all are different so with a child of her age you know being so young and not knowing the stairs to begin with it's just good to educate her that we are all different we are all especially in our own way Allah has created us as individual it's a gift and we've got to accept what we do and it's yes difficult and there's always you know stigma attached disability or people that's going to pick on you but then you're going to find that but then you overcome that because within your community within your unit your family unit you build it like as if it isn't that much and you yourself have to put yourself out they don't you know put yourself in a shell as well you need to go out there and speak about this you need to create awareness because you know it can happen to anyone not just even from birth it can happen in an accident or it can happen in any form in any way it can touch any one of us at any time so we should always you know feel that need to learn more about other people's situations and accept it if we can't accept it also understand it so that we can bring that acceptance to our homes don't just stare don't just comment don't just like you know disregard them to be in your circle or in your space because of that as well and people that are dealing with this they need to be outspoken themselves that we are a normal family you know and these are the challenges of the difficulties and we need normal people to help us and we need people of the same kind to also be part of this group so things like that can be and like I said just a WhatsApp group is enough to start building it bigger and bring it into the community you know have a space where you could actually speak about this in the mosque one day and you know have children that are you know disabled and not play together because normally we also push them in these little you know different you know places and groups which is not necessary it's okay for the learning ability wise but to play generally it should be open and free yeah very true yeah so you know we always tend to push them in these places and it actually creates great separation yeah we create that so we need to alongside with the you know the the need for having a separate way of learning and you know living but integrate as much as you can and would you say another thing would be good is if you do see a child with a disability instead of staring at them go up oh what's oh what's wrong or because I know some people that I'm aware of they prefer to be asked what is wrong and to be told that oh I have this disability instead of someone just staring at them yeah because they feel like they are more valued if someone comes up to them and says oh what's wrong what like why just be careful of the language because the wrong it may not be something that you have to find a certain way but it's better than staring well just you know just build a conversation generally just you want to get to know them exactly and that will come up and then they will open up they will open up because most of the time people just you know walk past them yeah so even if it's not even directed at the child but you just in you know interacting with the parent and then even looking at the child in interacting say hi how are you what you're doing today what's your you know what was your time like you know what was your special day today what was your activities today you know and then invite your child to sit and play in a different way and it's good learning for your child to know that there's other people like that and they need to also be grateful of their situation and appreciate other people's situations and what they're in and you know that's another learning opportunity for you know both families to mix and mingle and get together and you know it creates great space for you know continuous you know development for you know how we can live together regardless of any situation and understanding your differences and and living with differences I think when you've more physically involved and like you're saying socializing with you you you understand on another level that what they're going through and so you could not obviously they don't want to have sympathy because they're just normal human beings you can emphasize with them when they are in certain situations yeah where they can feel a bit discriminated against so yeah like you said we do need to be very definitely we need to be careful of our wording yeah absolutely definitely but inshallah we have to go to a come to an end sorry we finished we can keep on talking about this subject so yes thank you so much for him for that it was really another great insight on the topic and I hope the dear viewers have benefited from the discussion and inshallah you all have but inshallah we'll see you again in another episode of making a house a home assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh