 Which there's so many things out there like, oh, Jake Paul's ex-girlfriend, and I'm always known as the ex, but we know. Yeah, literally I'm probably going to call this the ex-girlfriend, and it's not real. No. In this video, we're going to discuss why Alyssa Violet and Jake Paul broke up, but more importantly, we're going to discuss why friends with benefits hardly ever works. What is up, everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. So I've been covering all the Shane Dawson episodes. I pick little mental health topics to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being, and relationships are a huge part of that. So if you're into that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell, because this is the second of the three videos that I'm making about this episode. There's a lot of very interesting topics in this one. So yeah, today we're going to be talking about friends with benefits, relationships, and I really hope that you all learn something from this. So I'm not a drama channel, but I just want to vent about something real quick. Like, I've talked about this in other videos, like, all of you young people out there, all of you probably under the age of 25, and I don't mean to stereotype. It's just brain development, and hey, when I was young, too, I was dumb as well. Like, there was so much unnecessary drama. Like, when I was watching this on my live stream, and if any of you guys want to go watch the replay, you can. Like, I'm just sitting there, I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. Okay, so let's just break this apart real quick. Alyssa and Jake were never officially dating. And you guys weren't dating? No, we never officially dated, ever. Jake Paul made multiple videos discussing how him and Alyssa were never dating, but they keep talking about, Jake and Erica keep talking about how Logan Paul stole Alyssa or started sleeping with her after they broke up. And even Erica in the last episode was like, could you imagine your brother doing this to you? Like, they were never dating, and Jake was hooking up with other people, like. Jake lied and said that I cheated, which I never cheated. We were never together, and it was just bad. I don't know, that's just ridiculous. So we're going to talk more about the hooking up and all of that in a second. But like, all of that, like, it's unnecessary drama, and this kind of ties into what we're talking about with Friends with Benefits. So can Friends with Benefits work? Sure. Everything can work. Like, even a broken clock is right twice a day, all right? So it can work, chances are that they won't. And Alyssa is a prime example why Friends with Benefits doesn't work, okay? So in my next video, I'm going to talk about the YouTube problem as a whole, because a topic that kept coming up in this video, this episode was about using people. Alyssa fell used and all that other stuff, but it's a major problem in YouTube. That's what my next video is going to be about. But anyways, to give you some idea of how Jake and Alyssa got together, Jake basically wanted her to be like, you know, part of their little crew, team 10, you know, get all flirty and stuff like that. And in return, Alyssa was going to get, you know, a lot of exposure. It would help her modeling and all that. So he kind of wanted a YouTube girlfriend. Yeah, just for thumbnails, though, and like for five seconds, and like a video. So they flirted back and forth and everything, and they would hook up. They would hook up, but it was very clear that they were not dating, all right? But here's the first lesson I want to teach you, okay? Alyssa, Alyssa sat around waiting for Jake to actually like her like in that way and be official. Even though Jake said multiple times, no. Then what was it? It was just hooking up and like, I've chased him for so long. I wanted him to be like my boyfriend. So if this is you, stop it. Don't wait around for that. Do not wait around for that. Like I've mentioned this in other videos. When people show you who they are, believe them. Like, I know so many of you watching this have stayed in relationships or these hookup type situations for way too long, expecting the other person to change. Oh, well, I'll just keep hooking up with them until they realize that, you know, I'm a great fit for them that I'm, you know, it's going to work out and they want to love me and marry me. Like don't do it. And this isn't just women. Like guys do it too. I did that. I did that. I'm like, oh, I'll just hang around. This is why I made a video a long time ago about guys getting stuck in the friend zone. It's our own damn fault because you're all just waiting around, waiting around for the other person to like you in that way, right? So like in the last video, I discussed how Alyssa Violet is playing the victim. Like Alyssa Violet made the decision to stick around and keep hooking up with Jake, even though he said he didn't want a relationship. That is not, that is not her fault and same thing with Jake. Jake cannot get mad at Alyssa either. So there's one of the reasons why friends with benefits doesn't really work. Okay. This is where self-awareness and being honest with yourself really, really comes into play. Like when you're doing this, when you're, when you're hooking up with that person, like chances are that one of the person is serious, like, hey, I just want to be friends with the benefits, but there's a really good chance that the other person isn't doing that. They're just going along with it. All right. And you got to be honest with yourself. Okay. This is advice I give to my friends all the time, all the time I have, it's crazy how much this comes up. I have friends ask me, they're like, Hey, I'm hooking up with this girl or this guy, but I really, really like them. But they said they don't, they don't want a relationship and I'm like, okay, believe them. And I tell all my friends, you need to sit down and assess your situation. You need to look at your situation and say, am I okay with this? Am I okay? If they never changed their mind with dating, am I okay with that? If the answer is no, if you look at the worst case scenario and they're never going to want to date you, if you look at that worst case scenario and you're not okay with it, you need to end it right there. You need to end it right there because if you continue putting yourself in that situation, that is on you. It is not on the other person. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you context of my own experience. So six years ago when I started working on my mental health, like I used to be a scumbag. I used to be a terrible person. I used to be a terrible guy. I was terrible to women. I would, you know, use them. I would say, I would manipulate them. I'd say what they wanted to hear. So they would, you know, hook up with me. My beautiful girlfriend is probably watching this. I warned her that I'm going to talk about some of this, but I need to talk about this stuff so you guys can learn from this. Okay. So if you're a terrible guy, please take some lessons from me. Okay. So six years ago when I started working on my mental health, like I like going to sleep at night with a clear conscience and it was hard when I knew how I was manipulating women. Right. And what I mean by that is like, yeah, girl, I can see myself being with you for a long time. Yeah, girl, I love you, but I didn't. I was just saying what they wanted to hear so we can hook up. So by the way, girls, like guys do that just so you know. So I, not all guys, but anyway, so I was doing this, right? So I realized like, I have to be a good guy in all aspects of my life, in all aspects of my life. So first thing I did was I've stayed single for over a year and a half, single and celibate. Okay. For over a year and a half, because I knew bringing a girl into my situation was completely selfish and self centered. I didn't want to do that. So even after that year and a half, I dated a girl for close to a year. But then I just didn't want to date anybody. I was not ready for a relationship and I was out and I was talking to women. I would go on online dating apps and stuff. So like a question I get a lot from people in early recovery is this, because we say don't get in a relationship your first year. This is a great tip for everybody. Everybody out there with mental health issues, don't get in a relationship for a year. So the question I always get is, can you hook up with them? Can you hook up with them? And I always say the same thing. As long as you're doing it not in a scummy way, I don't care what you do. And what do I mean by that? I'm being honest. So like I said, old Chris, I used to be like, yeah, I really like you. Yeah, maybe we'll date. Yeah, I could see that. Those were all lies. So when I started getting back in the dating scene before, this is the key, before hooking up with any woman, I would tell them. I said, listen, I am not looking for a relationship. I'm not looking for a relationship at all. Like you can't tell that to them after you hook up. You got to say before. Okay, you got to lay all your cards out on the table. So that's what I did. That is how I kept a clear conscience. I let them know my situation and what's going on with me. All right? So I would tell them that. And now the balls in their court, if they still decide to hook up with me knowing that I don't want a relationship, that's on them. I cannot feel guilty over that. And trust me, there were plenty of women back in the day who I told that to. They hooked up with me and then they would try to guilt trip me for not having the same feelings towards them. But I showed them who I was. And this is a lesson for all of you too. Like I've made videos in the past about how nobody can make you feel a certain way and you can't make anybody feel a certain way. If I give you all of the information ahead of time and you feel a certain way, that's on you. Now if I lied to you and manipulated you and, you know, gave you this false idea of who I am, that's on me. But if I tell you the truth and let you know what my intentions are and then you do something that hurts you, that's on you, it's not on me. I feel like I just want you to know some of you ask me this all the time, like how do you quit caring what people think? How do you quit caring what people think, right? And this is part of it. I'm honest. I show you the real me at all times. I don't have to worry about lying and deceiving and all sorts of stuff. I'm just honest. Like real quick, I'll touch on this because I'm on the subject, there were some talking with Keemstar about blackmail and stuff like that and all this like a good way to avoid blackmail is to quit doing shady stuff. You can put hidden cameras all around my house and I wouldn't care because well, I would care. But I'm just saying like there's nothing crazy that I'm doing like people just need to be good people. But anyways, going back to that, Jake told Alyssa, look, like we can hook up, you know, whatever. That's what he said. But she ended up getting with Logan for revenge because Jake wanted to hook up with other girls, right, like on his little trip and it's like she knew that about him. Now, I think the whole thing is ridiculous since they weren't dating, do it, whatever. Like, I don't know, like, it's all ridiculous to me. Everything in this situation is dumb. I can't wait for, I can't wait for this series to be over because I'm just watching these people and they are all such hot messes. But there's so much that all of you can learn from this, all right. But in my opinion, Alyssa Violet did not have the right to get mad at Jake for hooking up with other women. Jake Paul did not have the right to get mad at Alyssa for hooking up with other guys. They set the boundaries, they set the rules of the game, and now they're mad about the rules of that game. So keep that in mind the next time you're trying to get into a relationship, a friends with benefits, okay, like keep all of this logged in your head. Like, are you making a decision that's going to hurt you later on? And that's on you. That is your own internal locus of control. Quit blaming other people for the way that you feel if you're making decisions like that. All right. Sorry I had to give you tough love, Chris, again, but that's what we do here at the Rewired Soul. All right. So let's do this down in the comments below. Let me let me know your thoughts on friends with benefits. Like I said, I know it works out sometimes, but let me know. Have you tried it and it didn't work out because you caught feelings or did the other person catch feelings? Let me know down in the comments below, okay. Anyways, that's all I got for you with this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental health. And thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. If you would like to get one of these beautiful Rewired Soul shirts designed by my girlfriend, click or tap on that shop icon right there. All right. Thanks again for watching. I'll see you next time.