 Hey, friends, you're watching behind the scenes divine intimacy radio Special guest today super Ann Bernig We'll tell you about her if you didn't see the first show the first show titled alone to hell together to heaven about can be life in the church and how to grow spiritually and how to Reproposing just the normal Catholic life that's disappearing and rebuilding and healing and this is part of What we do at the Avala Foundation Avala Institute and the possibly be a community so Today that's we're gonna be talking about the second episode you can find both of them out at spiritualdirection Dot-com or our our YouTube page and by the way You're on our YouTube page right now, and if you don't subscribe subscribe, there's no way you're gonna go to heaven Of course Heresy heresy Subscribe press the notification button. I'm terrible at this. I've done it only once Over the last thousand shows we've recorded. This is the first time So just humor me would you and tell everybody about it? We need her We are shadow bands often It's the weirdest thing to see where we have one video with 40,000 views and the other with eight and just What is going on here? So You can help us by subscribing it helps the algorithm make comments be nice. You'll get banned if you don't We're happy to ban you. We're happy to keep you Jordan has the band hammer. Jordan is man. Yeah, if you're not nice, right? So today we're gonna talk about community and healing as a second part of the first series here Before we do I want to tell you about Introduction to spiritual theology Systematic presentation of spiritual theology course is available on November 27th 2023 new professor dr. Miriam Sigmund. Happy to be very excited to have her on the team. I bet you that I've mispronounced her name But her doctorate is on in theology is from the Pontifical Union University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Urbea Angelica in Rome Italy, which means she rocks take the class and Setting the captain's free is a local event in San Pedro November 11 2023 all that you see so the way you find either of these spiritual direction com forward slash events is events and then The courses are avala-institute.org. Okay, right Tina's gonna appreciate that. Why did I said Pedro? Yeah, our friend correct and Pedro Pedro All right, well, let's go ahead and get the show started markets that go this Dan Stephanie Burke Welcome to divine intimacy radio your radio haven of rest your hermitage of the heart your monastery of the mind where we lift our Hearts and minds to heaven to draw upon the immense vast Unfathomable well of Catholic mystical wisdom and tradition to help us to navigate This crazy crazy world we live in today Today we have special guests Kind of a figure it to leave figuratively adopted daughter and vernic friend Head of mission engagement at the avala foundation. She is an evangelist extraordinaire. Yeah, she is she is She is a gift of hers. Yeah, just such a gift. So no fear. No fear. Yeah, that's right And we're talking about community life because we're all in a possibly VA community together and just trying our goal I'm just gonna be up front with everyone My goal is to get you who are listening to understand the value and importance of community And as essential for the rebuilding of Christendom rebuilding of Catholic faith the healing of the church and To the degree that you are engaged in that reality. It will happen in your life and those you influence And to the degree that you're not You might do okay alone, but in the first show the analogy I used The title of the show, you know loaned hell together to heaven Was the family that got to spread out in the mountains in a mountain line got their son name was Jared God rest his soul Never forget it and that you get picked off when you're alone. It doesn't matter how strong you are You've got picked off. Mm-hmm. You got picked off and look at what it did to her Well, and even even some great saints have been knocked off the road Teresa of Abola Said there was about a 10-year period while a cloistered nun That she would have gone to hell because she just was out of kind of the reality that she should have been in So the narrow way is narrow and difficult Jesus said that for a reason not wide and easy And it is a mountain road and the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour So today's show we want to talk we had an on because Anne and Stephanie I have become a very very close and Worked together all the time and we've been through good amazing beautiful highs and very difficult lows But the lows are all been redemptive lows. I would say that right redemptive challenges or whatever But they were the kind of lows that could have destroyed relationships, you know, right? If if any one of us had chosen to be to bail selfish or bail Yeah, or put our own emotional, you know wounds or whatever first Yeah, but we held we held tight through the storm We we had it and I think this is really key as we as we go into this conversation is that we had the Understanding of what was happening. We had an understanding through formation That storms are there for a purpose that trials are an invitation to a greater healing to Purification to greater love and and it's just been extraordinary, you know, yeah so in the last show we talked also about This this this idea that saints wire wire most saints out of communities And if you ask John of the cross why he would he would give you he would say because community life is intended By God to bring about healing through Dealing with wounds sin brokeness What are your thoughts on that? It makes me think of the two greatest commandments love you and love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself And so especially as our our community is really our charism is mental prayer and trying to bring some order into our lives and Have this relationship with God be a priority what flows from that is relationship with other people and we're Hurt relationally, but we also heal relationally And it's just really it's really important that you have these relationships Relationship is I mean that's this is it so you have to have we have to have these relationships with others, but As we keep looking I had said in the first show, you know, God created us to be interdependent not codependent So we look to him and then he fills our needs through others As soon as we start looking to someone else to fill our need whether it's physical or emotional or my identity or You know different words my everything value. Yep It's it's disordered and God and his goodness will help purify that Through community. Yeah. Yeah. No, you said in the last show, too. I think it's really important one of our values is is transparency Openness and then you you said the community is safe That it isn't safe like There's a wrong view of safe, right? A wrong view of safe is there is no opportunity For harm. That's not safety or or safety in confirming you in your Broken in your brokenness like oh, you know, you need to just go with your feelings or you know Confirming in a woke destructive way destructive way. Yeah, that just leads to your demise rather than to your growth in healing and You know, so talk about safety in the context of invulnerability wherein wounds can be opened and Healed it's not it's not it's not padded rooms I don't know. I'm trying to get the analogy. Sure. Yeah I think freedom is another word like we're free and feelings is such a great topic because I Think a lot of us, especially in the same age with all our technology We are just numb. Mm-hmm, and we are not checked into our bodies. So what happens is that? We rep we repress a lot of feelings and we're not wrong for how we feel But it doesn't mean that our feelings are truth Right, so the feelings are really good because they're telling us something and you need to acknowledge how you're feeling But then you need to go it it's not about I feel this way about you Dan So you're wrong and you come fix my problem. It's really Wow I'm feeling really anxious right now or I felt kind of hurt by what, you know, Dan said to me I go take that to the Lord and I go gaze upon him and get curious about why am I feeling this way, right? Instead of running with the feeling reacting to the feeling. It's more of an invitation to What's the Lord doing here? Well, and I think In addition to that, which I think is so very important is in our charism of apostolate VA We also live discernment of spirits. So in that we're also Learning that we can't trust our feelings that are true. There are feelings are good They were created by God, but they can be manipulated So we must discern that and that's part of that going before the Lord and saying I'm feeling this why yeah What is this Lord helped me to understand is this coming from you? Is this coming from the enemy? Is it coming from my wounds? Why and why is this happening? And where where is that invitation to who to healing because those feelings do tell us something The storm tells us something the trial tells us something that the Lord's working in and through our Relationships to bring us to a greater good to help us grow in virtue To gain merit from the suffering whatever it is, right? And so it's really important and the bond of the charism provides context and structure And you're talking about the teaching which is part of that that helps us to get healed in it Yeah, right the key is you have to be in it and stay in it You know, it's one of the things I appreciate like one of like both of you actually both of you have a really strong Orientation to loyalty, you know, and so that so when we've three of us of whether it's in pretty heavy storms and Wounded one another and you know wrestled with one another, but I can just tell you both I mean, I'll tell you she's my wife. She knows this we talk about this a divine intimacy marriage retreats And you know, we talk about where each other's crosses and you know, but here's all that But I can say to you and I think Stephanie you could and we could add Jordan producer man that that on a scale of one to ten And ten being like major change holiness Understanding virtues all the good You have affected me you have affected me he's affected me we've affected each other I mean, I know what your number would be. It's at a ten for me That attend for me. I've been radically changed another one one of my buddies Lonnie Applegate Part of the community community that guy ten, you know, because he confronted me About my behavior on social media. I've been off for three years because of him But man was that process painful because we had conflict over it. Yeah, but I love him love him for Just challenge and hanging in yeah, you know not giving up. I think that's that's really I that what comes to mind as the trust That's built in community because you are praying together. You are suffering together You are you have committed to something together and you've said these things are important to me And I love God more than I love all of you But because I love God more than I love all of you than I love you and and that's for me has been like a Momentous thing is that I my heart safe with Dan Burke because I know he loves God more than me safe with a broken Dan Burke, but that's my point. Yeah, is that I know that you have to stand before God and that you know, you have to stand before God Because for what you do to me or whatever, right? And I know you're cognizant of that Yeah, so that helps me to trust where you're broken this right to trust you in that Journey and to trust you in that journey and Jordan and the others in our community that we can look one another in the eye and say I know you're in this I know you're in the fight. I know you're all in I know that you're bleeding from your heart because you want to be holy and That your desires are good and therefore you are good because you're made in the image of the of the father And he's put that design your heart and so we're in this together and we're not gonna let go Like I remember and and I were on a trip and really quick and you know We were having a conversation and I felt like I could say something very direct and she took it and she stayed in the Conversation with me and I thought I don't know that I could have said that to anybody else But I but I I knew that our relationship and our love for one another in Christ was strong enough to Really stay in the conversation be really frank and hold on and that's happened reciprocally and it's happened numerous times Different different way before we go to the break. We're talking about community life and healing and in particular We're all part of a community called apostolee VA a POS DOL I via e.org You can go out there and join the website. You don't have to be a formal member to get benefit from it check it out Go find a local community. It's necessary for survival in today's world. We come back from the break there's something Vernon and Ann related to what we were talking about and I'm looking forward to hearing more from what God's doing in her heart and all of this. So we'll be back. We'll be right back Let's just keep going and your market said go welcome back to divine intimacy radio This is Dan Stephanie Burke along with super and Vernon talking about Community life and healing so I saw something firing up in you most definitely was talking I was just remembering the conversation But it's all true and I think as we grow in our relationship with God and spend more time with him We really become secure and who we are in him you can have these conversations and be able to receive what someone has to say and Ponder it. Yeah, it may or may not be true Right or but you can just receive it and receive them and where they're at and be okay Be secure in that and that you know, I was not always that person So the Lord's done many mighty work in my heart in that place because a lot of times we take these things So personal, right? I actually I think I remember What it was like my second week working here? You had said something to me and it would it just broke my heart right away I couldn't believe it and I immediately wanted to apologize and After, you know praying on it for a while. It's like well, it was just Stephanie's opinion I didn't need to apologize, but in my brokenness. I just kind of took on Yeah, you know what she said and and it was the enemy trying to cause doubt and division division and yeah Yeah, so and in that it's so then that's the micro. Yeah sewing doubt division macro God-moving Healing is happening in that context. Absolutely. So Let's talk a little about the mission in healing the Specifically the mission. I'm gonna be talk at a summary level the mission of Apostle B. A to live the contemplative life Which means that we dedicate ourselves to Mental prayer as you're saying anesthesis which is a which relates to healing which is purposeful Self-gift self-denial For the sake of self-giving. Yeah, and that's what you guys are talking about Prayer gives us that orientation to God That we all are saying that's our tether. So so you do if you do something wrong I do something wrong. We are one another. We're all still committed to that same fulcrum point. Is that the right word? That means we're all heading the same direction. So if we hang together and work it in Marriage there's deep intimacy that comes in a sacramental way Non-marriage relationships. There's deep intimacy that comes in a way of friendship Right in camaraderie or whatever in Christ and in our promises in the community. What do you mean? Well, we've promised together To to this way of life. We've now before the Lord we've been clothed in the We've been clothed in the scapular and and so in that, you know, we're we're committing to the Lord in that There's promises there. So there's a there's a sacramental bond here But there's a promise to the Lord in the community that I think is really important as well And that promise is so powerful Oftentimes I think the past two or three investors chairs. I can't even say the words because I am sobbing and I'm praying it in my heart, but it's so powerful and she's talking about we gather once a year to receive new members and They're invested in the Browns scapular. It's an we have an incredibly beautiful Exquisite masks everyone's being prayed over We have people have been praying for each other for a year and they lay it I mean and we promise to pray and we promised we promised to give our hearts fully to God Yeah, we're renewing those promises every year. Yeah, and in that to that a ceaseless a Lot of people think the ceaseless is like this individual thing It's the you you don't understand like if you're putting rocks in your shoes for you You're probably there's no merit in that That's that's just narcissism, right, but just proper a ceaseless is always I Say no to my lower Orders lower order of good or or bad whatever I say no to what I want and it can be arranged from good to not good So that I can love God and love you and other people in the community according to what he desires Right desires and man. I mean I'm it gives me the chills saying it because you want to tap into grace and like have grace explode in you Contemplate that what happens when you become Jesus because that's Jesus Right, what happened him in the garden father? If this if there's another way Not my will but yours be done explosion of grace You know and and we can emulate that reality of saying You know, I don't want to go pray right now But if I don't pray, I'm not gonna be as holy as I need to be and somebody's depending on me And so I'm going to go pray or you know I made a promise to God and to one another in the community You know because I know that when I go to pray that affects him that affects Jordan that fix you in the community You know, yeah, it's a it's obedience. Yes, and why it's so important to have spiritual directors and guides when you can discern the state type of stuff in community because on her own I always love reading the stories of the saints who are so excited to join their order And then they get there and then their superiors like no, you're not allowed to fast Right for three weeks straight you have to eat and that is their suffering is that they have to eat And so on our own we can really inflate our ego sometimes in terms of this self-denial But in community is really where it's the fruit and that charity is just born in a New like explosion of grace like you said. It's really beautiful. Yeah I think I think one of the things it would strike me about this because you know folks out there might think well You know, I have a family or whatever, but if your family is not purposefully praying to other Committing together to follow the Lord in a purposeful way, you know, you're just kind of Right and and that is You're you're weakened in that you're weakened Community creates those promises it it allows you to to live in community and in this way of life That does lead to holiness. I mean every every part of what we do in a pistol EVA is Purposeful to help us be purified to become saints. We're heading for we're pointed towards heaven There's nobody in this community that I know of Knowing how on fire everybody is it's going. Oh, well, you know, I'm kind of shooting for purgatory and if I miss that, you know, that's You know, I don't like that teaching the church, you know, let's pick and choose and you know, I'm gonna make my flesh my god No, that's not going on. Yeah, we're going. How did the saints live? Yeah, what did they do to become saints? Right? What is common about their lives? Oh, we're gonna emulate that We're gonna imitate that and we're gonna do it together and we're gonna help each other We're gonna help each other and in that God's purifying us and hopefully making us saints But I'm seeing it happen real time. It's beautiful souls. Yeah, I'm so blown away. Well, you know, here's a testimony Every outside speaker that comes to our events or does formation for us They are gushing the bishop Liam Carrie Wow, what a beautiful So we spoke at our awesome Apple Institute summit. You would never know. Yeah, he's very humble But wow, he's got a prayer life, but he just remarked, you know at how Moved he was by the people and and just, you know, and that's common for our speakers and just blown away Yeah, another speaker said wow, this group is really right. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful stuff Yeah Community life Apostle V is one option any good, you know, all of these are facets of the diamonds of the church spirituality, Carmelites or one facet Franciscans Dominicans everybody's got a tribe. I really believe this every living person Needs to be a part of a Magisterium faithful. That's hard, but faithful community and you're all welcome to join us second for Saturdays It's no cost. We gather from all around the world We do a digital formation and we have local groups So if you you're in Australia and you like what you hear on the live and we can hook you up with a small group And that meets locally too in Australia or or Canada or Europe or Italy or you know, Japan Yes, you know So I guess as we're wrapping this up What What I mean, what we've been talking about our hearts and healing and how it's affected us What do you say to someone who's going I'm not a joiner. Let's do that. I'm not a joiner because that was you What's what's your answer to that? You belong What what is it about not being a joiner like like to me There's because I remember growing up not being a joiner. I kind of felt me too Like an outsider. I felt weird, you know, I didn't feel like I miss felt misunderstood Like, you know, what is this? I'm I can't participate in these shallow conversations I always want to go to the you know to the jugular into what's true and real and beautiful and good and Really talk about what matters. I cannot stay on the surface. So to me that put me on the outside Similar to you except I wasn't converting people because I wasn't converted yet But it was part of my design, right that needed to be purified and drawn into what's true and good and set on fire by the Holy Spirit So, you know, I think that's that's You know, what is it about not being a joiner What's behind that because I know that there's things behind that and I know that you can discern that well I I just I don't I just keep coming back to like it's just the human heart we're all created for God by God for him and Until we're in his arms, there's always going to be a battle for our souls to make us feel like we don't belong and it doesn't matter if you are raised in a devout home like me or a Very traumatic home like Dan Broken home like Stephanie, you know We are all in this same battle every one of our stories different but it ultimately what looks the same is that God loves us so much and he wants us to know his love and to be love need the lights and that and That's when you're in community. We talked about just bumping up against each other, but the lies come out You know, the the wounds come out these things we believe about ourselves that we've been living under this identity of I've always got to do it myself I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I remember one time Dan I Called you we're gonna have a meeting you're like I can't do it today I'm not gonna do it and I hung up the phone and it said Okay, I'm doing this on my own just like always, you know And it was beautiful because what the Lord did that in that was that I'm not doing it on my own and And you know someone else showed up and then you came everything worked out But the Lord healed that lie in my heart I don't have to always do it on my own and it's beautiful how when you come together It it just happens. Yeah, God wants to heal it. Yeah Well, I hope this has been encouraging y'all to to get out and get to where you're less vulnerable and Get some formation and get what you need to be protected what you need to be strengthened Find a tribe and run with them find the yeah Saints If you want to be a saint find a pack and run like crazy and with that we're grateful you've been with us and divine intimacy radio So until next time may the God of peace make you perfect in holiness May he preserve you whole and entire spirit soul and body irreproachable at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ