 Before I get into the topic of how to tell if a man is attracted to you I think it's really important to differentiate the three different types of attraction What I mean by three different types of attraction. There are certainly men who are serious about a relationship They're serious about commitment. They're serious about seeking a life partner now before I get into the other two really quickly Are you a woman seeking a life partner? If it's yes, please hit that like button right now or post a comment So I know that you're a woman who seriously wants a life partner So I just said within attraction There are men who seriously want a life partner and then there are men who just simply seek Attraction from the sexual perspective all they want is a physical conquest they want a sexual partner and that is another form of attraction and the third type of attraction which most men women excuse me Experienced today in the dating marketplace is what I call dependent attraction dependent attraction We also might call this needy attraction. Okay, this might be also known as a Ambivalent attraction. Okay. In fact, many of you are probably experiencing it more from an ambivalent place What I mean to say is a man might invest in you because he seeks Companionship he might seek connection. He might seek sex. Okay from an either ambivalent place a needy place or a dependent place and Those men are what I call Spenders what they want is they want to spend time with you, but these men aren't capable of anything serious And my channel is geared for those women who want a serious relationship and let's just agree right now The dating marketplace sucks. It is an absolute mess out there it is absolutely frustrating and It's true for men and women alike sadly sadly more so for women because women will often times compromise themselves for For a man because women tend to want a life partner more so than men because men are driven by that Sexual attraction and then there are the men that are driven by the dependent Needy or the a bit ambivalent attraction And so you might be confused about men because they might express some interest So you're thinking it's the serious type of attraction when in fact, it's either a sexual Now those are pretty easy to spot. These are the guys who lead with sex. These are the love bombers. These are the guys that You know, they're they're dropping sexual innuendos. They're dropping dick pics, you know, that sort of thing Those are rather easy to spot except with the love bombers if you're coming from a dependent place you might feed off of that validation and Surrender temporarily to this person who simply wants sex or he wants to use you in some capacity The tricky part are those spenders those men that have dependent needy or ambivalent attraction Because it represents about 60% of the men out there The users are about 20% and what's left is are those growers those builders those men who want a serious Relationship and that only represents 20% this is why I devised my private coaching to help you identify and Actually attract more of the serious type of guys and avoid those men who are going to use you That are dependent. They're ambivalent and they're needy if you need some support with that Look, there's a link in the description below to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is Right for you So today we're going to lean into the man who is serious Okay, the man who serious the man who genuinely wants a life partner now folks I do want to share with you You know a lot of you are experiencing casual Relationships a lot of you are experiencing what I call friends with benefits But you don't really know about it because you've agreed to physical intimacy with someone Or maybe you have acquiesced to physical intimacy without any clear understanding If this person wants a serious relationship with you and I want you to immediately Step into your power step into your sovereignty step into your self-worth your self-esteem yourself confidence In fact, I wrapped this up in my book called what the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help spiritual work There's a link below to get a copy of my book. Why am I drawing attention to this right now? I want you to stop accepting Bread come bread crumbs. I want you to stop accepting bad behavior I want you to stop accepting men who are in it only for the short run So Serious men operate a little bit differently and serious men show up Demonstrating attraction in a little bit different way So today we're going to talk about those seven ways that men who are growers builders who want a serious relationship How they show up in the form of attraction Now some of these are going to seem like the dependent needy men the users they all do this But I think once you see the totality of it, you'll recognize the difference By the way, I think I have a leftover peanut in my throat Mmm, excuse me. So number one now this is in the early stages of dating a man will He will give you Genuine eye contact genuine eye contact and when I mean by eye contact, it's not just Staring deeply into your soul, but I know with my sweetheart. There's a picture of Marie and I on New Year's Eve. I Know that I find myself just staring at her at times. I just I'm so I'm so connect not connected. I'm just feeling this Desire from her, but it's not sexual. It's just I like looking at her And I was thinking of my best friend who shared the same thing with me recently He's he's been in a relationship for two years now And the other day she goes, what are you doing? He goes, I'm just staring at you because I like you When a man actually gazes into your eyes now, this isn't first second or third date This is when he's actually really of connect, you know, you've established a little bit of Trust with one another by the way, if you're not familiar with the work of Jay Shetty takes this he says it takes about 40 hours of face-to-face time Just to barely get to know someone and I've always said it takes about a hundred hours of face-to-face time Just to build the first layer of trust and it takes about 200 hours of face-to-face time doing social activities hobbies mutual interests to develop a friendship with someone and When someone has developed that friendship with you and they're still looking at you with a gaze of just joy That's a great sign. He's attracted to you Number two his acts are chivalrous. He opens the car door. He walks on the outside of the street He pulls out the chair for you. He stands up when you walk into a room That's certainly a sign a serious guy does this now We have to be careful because users do this and those dependent needy and ambivalent Men do this as well those spenders, but I want you to take look at the totality Totality of how he shows up Men who are serious are more apt to do these things than those who are a bit flaky And he acts chivalrous With you and that's a good sign that he's attracted to you number three. He's protective and territorial Again the ambivalent the dependent the needy guys do this the users do this But I know with my sweetheart once I once we agreed to explore being in a relationship with one another I wanted her off the dating apps. I wanted her off the market I expressed a desire to take myself off the market But I also wanted to covet her because men are territorial. We don't want you engaging with other men If we're genuinely serious about you now We don't do it from a dependent needy place Dependent needy men might do this but from a serious place It's demonstrating first that I am open to taking myself off the market and a request to take yourself off the market because men are Naturally territorial. That's part of what makes us protective Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this Okay, number four that this might be really confusing But if a guy is really attracted to you, he might Temporarily pull away. He might temporarily pull away And this usually happens right after you've been physically intimate with a man. I Know that in my experience in my relationship after we spent our three solid days together Really laying our cards on the table really being radically honest with one another. I found myself just temporarily pulling away Because in that pulling away a man needs time to really evaluate is this the person I'd like when we really like someone We do a natural Temporarily pull away. It might be for a few hours. It might be a day or two But we're really assessing is this the person I want to invest in now This usually happens after sex it can happen before sex and again. It's a temporary Pullback sometimes you don't even know he's pulling back it might be an energetic pullback But that's the time that he really Evaluates is this the person I genuinely want to invest in and what happens next is he expresses appreciation for you. I Know when that that brief little pull-away I had with Marie I Realized wow, this is someone I really appreciate in that brief moment of Pulling away in a way. I kind of missed her But what I realized was I didn't miss her. What I really did was appreciate her and then I expressed Appreciation by the way men who genuinely are attracted to you. I want you to really think about the words Grateful gratitude and appreciation grateful gratitude and appreciation. I continually say to my partner I'm so grateful you're in my life. I appreciate all the kind things you do for me I'm in the state of gratitude when I'm with you Those are great signs when a man uses those words when he demonstrates true Appreciation for you. That's a great sign that a grown-up is attracted to you because here's the thing The users they won't do that This the spenders those those ambivalent those needy those dependent men. They won't do that They might they might constant the users will constantly back and forth with you. They'll pull away. They'll come back They'll pull away. They'll come back dependent needy people They'll pull away. They come back or worse if they're really dependent. They will smother you Okay, but these are men by the way most of the users as I said in the beginning of this broadcast They want companionship. They want sex. They want connection, but they're not capable of They're not capable of diving deeper into commitment This is the problem that plagues our relationship marketplace today because we because of these devices Because of our devices and swiping we have all this access to people that wouldn't otherwise have been in our in our in our purview And this is why ladies I'm here to encourage a different way to date mate and relate I'm here to Implement what I teach in my private coaching, which is called radical honesty pre-qualifying your prospect I'm here to encourage laying laying your cards on the table sooner rather than later and most importantly adopting the Rules of engagement and one of the rules of engagement I invite you to by the way Here's a copy of what's called my dating vows. Okay It's a value make before you give your heart to someone. This is part of the rules of engagement and And by the way, if you want a copy of the schedule that discovery call with me And I'll give you a copy of it when we meet on the phone So the dating vows simply is an agreement between two people and agreement to two people to Explore getting to know one another if there's going to be regular sex Do you agree to monogamy if you're going to have regular sex? You agree to exclusivity in the dating realm and you agree to spend how you're going to spend your time together But Jonathan if I asked for that a man might run away Who are you scaring? This the users the ambivalent the needy the dependent guys those guys who are spenders Because I guarantee you a man who genuinely likes you He's genuinely into you and thinks you're a good fit in his life. He will adopt this I can't tell you how many of my clients now reach out to me and say Fact one of the things I'm actively doing is speaking to their boyfriends going over all the work We've done together so they can be on the same page and guess what these men are saying They're saying thank you for making my job easier because those serious men Might you know, they're genuinely serious, but they just don't know the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship They don't know the mechanics to true intimacy and intimacy is in to me you see into me you see if you're not familiar with the book Emotional intimacy by Robert Masters most of you focus on physical intimacy And I'm here to educate or to invite you to explore emotional intimacy and that again This is what we do in my private coaching I help you really gain a stronger grasp of true intimacy because many of you are in Relationships or you're talking to men and y'all you're doing is how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. That's Kramer from Seinfeld Okay, I said expressing appreciation. That's demonstrates a man is into you Was extremely attracted to you number six. He teases you His little kid comes out. I know I tease Marie in the beginning of our relationship. I called her Beverly Hills glam She's glammed up in that picture right there, but I called her Beverly Hills glam But when a man now again users might do this Spenders might do this, but when a man is genuinely attracted to you his little kid comes out You can see the difference with the little kid. It's not coming from a Agitated place. It's coming from that fun playful side I will tell you one of the best parts of any relationship is when our little kids come out and we can play to one another That's really the sign that you're actually building a deeper relationship with someone when you can actually step into Your little kid. We all have a little kid inside of us. It's one of the things you find charming in us men It's one of the things we find charming in women is when our little kid comes out and our little kids Our little boys used to like to tease girls, you know, you've heard that What's that girls? What's that? Oh, can someone remind me pigtails and snails and what's that nursery rhyme that boys are made of? Girls are made of sugar and spice and pigtails and nice something like that I can't remember it does anyone remember that but when our little kid comes out That's a great sign that he's attracted to you and number seven and This is the most obvious one of all but yet many of you aren't paying attention Because most men aren't doing the following this differentiates all the different the men who are in the user and spender category versus those men who are actually Serious about a relationship. I don't know why I continually wipe my lens of my glasses But anyway, he progresses the relationship forward. He's intentional and he devotes his available time to you I want to repeat that He progresses the relationship forward. He's an intentional and he devotes his available Time to you now a lot of people are busy and that's certainly a challenge these days But ultimately if you want a healthy happy relationship, listen Forget the first couple dates forget the first couple months Do you want a relationship where you see each other on at minimum two three four days and nights a week together? Doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time Traveling together teamwork building skills both in your professional personal and professional life intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy is that what you want because many of you are settling for casual Cavalier ambivalent Relationships thinking that's something thinking magic fairy dust will change this guy if all he did was saw your value. I Can't believe how many of you will say after the end of the relationship. Why couldn't he see my value? Well, because you guys didn't establish early on the rules of engagement You didn't establish your standards before he got to have sex with you ladies. I'm sorry to say I know many of it. It's a liberated time and sex is free and whatnot, but I'm here to say you Please I'm encouraging you're like my little sister if I can encourage you Please have sex with men who genuinely want to build a relationship And your job is to weed out all the ones who don't and believe me. There are a lot of dysfunctional men out there There's a lot of users. There's a lot of spenders out there And if you don't know how to to pick better men if you don't know how to track those men in and they do exist There are the growers and builders out there. They do exist It just requires a little bit more work on your part to find out who they are Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new by the way in the description below and certainly my coaching Link is there schedule a discovery call with me. Follow me in my membership group. Follow me on Instagram or check out all the books I recommend All right, those are the seven things men when they're what do when they're extremely attracted to you I hope this provided value for you. I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off give myself a big gigantic job to bear it of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye. Bye now. Bye. Bye