 The Craft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeves. The Great Gilder Sleeves is brought to you by the Craft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Millions of women all over America serve Parquet because it tastes so good. Why, Parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. To market, to market, to get some parquet. Home again, home again, try it someday. You'll like it, you'll love it like millions of times. They're favorite Margarine women. P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet Margarine, made by Craft. Well, it's the first week of January. Let's see what's doing this evening at the home of the Great Gilder Sleeve. His nephew Leroy is sprawled on the living room floor helping Dick Tracy solve a case. Oh boy! His pretty niece Marjorie is curled up on the sofa with a movie magazine. Oh, Gregory! And the great man himself is in his study going over his first of the year bills. Oh, brother. Nine and seven are sixteen and five makes twenty-one. Plus sixty-four dollars and thirty-four cents makes eighty-five thirty-four. In Christmas bills alone. Certainly is more blessed to give in December than to receive in January. See how I came out in 1948. Adding the eighty-five thirty-four to the year's total makes about nine goes in there. Zeke! We've spent five hundred dollars more than we did the year before. No wonder I can't keep any money in the bank. Time to have a talk with a little family. Marjorie! Leroy! What's up, Uncle? My bank accounts down. That's what's up, Leroy. We have to figure out where we can start saving. Marjorie, are you listening? Sorry, Uncle. I was reading about Gregory. Well, drop Gregory unless he wants to pay some of these bills. All right. Marjorie, this is important. I've been going over my books and your old uncle is getting in deeper all the time. At the rate we're going, we can't live on my salary anymore. Oh, that's too bad, Uncle. I was about to ask if you'd let me take advantage of the January clearance sales. Oh, my goodness. I need a sweater and a new flannel skirt and stocking. Well, go easy, Marjorie. Please. I don't need any clothes, Uncle. I'm fixed. Well, that's fine, Leroy. So can I have twenty cents for a cheap Western? Leroy? I see I can't cut down on expenses in here. I'll go talk to Bertie. They say the woman who buys for the house spends eighty percent of the money. Oh, Bertie. Yes, Miss Gilsley? Bertie, I've just been having a little talk with the children about cutting expenses. Oh, you like to sit down, Miss Gilsley? No, thanks, Bertie. Somebody in this house was spending entirely too much money. Yes, sir. We've got to figure out where we can economize. Suppose we take a look at some of your grocery slips. Yes, sir. Got them right here in the drawer. Oh, that's good. There must be some place we can start saving. Yes, it's pretty hard to save in the kitchen. The kitchen? Yes. Look right here at this first item, coffee. Fifty-seven cents. Bertie, perhaps if you'd shop around a bit. Mr. Gilsley, I walked my legs off to find it that cheap. Bertie's a good shopper. Oh, yes. Well, let's take another item. Ten cans of grapefruit juice. Bertie, there's an extravagance. Well, little Leroy has to have his citrus. We don't want him to have coals all winter, grow up spindly-legged, no teeth. No, of course not, Bertie. We've got to cut down where it's possible. Yes, sir, that's what I've been doing. There's one thing I'll save for Bertie. She's a good shopper, walks her legs off. I understand, Bertie, but... Of course, if you don't think Bertie's a good shopper. Well, that's not it at all, Bertie. Bertie, don't spare no shoe leather. They ain't a storekeeper in town. Don't know Bertie, because she walks her legs off. Yeah, all right. I'm sorry I brought it up. Did you like that rough roast we have tonight? Oh, it was very nice, Bertie. So was the price. Only $69 cents a pound. You know how I got it that cheap, Mr. Giltley? Yes, Bertie. That's right! Guess the only way I can save is to give up cigars again. This is certainly the hard way to save money. Walking through a foot of snow to get downtown. Morning, Gilded. Oh, hello, Judge. If you're on your way downtown, would you mind walking in front of my car? Walking in front of your car? If you're built so close to the ground, you'd make a wonderful snow plow. Hop in, Gilded. I'll give you a lift. Well, you might drop me at the barbershop. Snow is pretty heavy this morning. Isn't it, though? I've been having a lot of fun hitting the drifts and watching you fly. Yes, yes. Sucking childhood. Why aren't you driving this morning, Gilded? Wouldn't your car start? I'm going to walk to work from now on, Judge. I'm going to save some money. I've even given up cigars. Uh-huh. Sounds as though you've been trying to balance your boots. Trying is right. Judge, my salary just doesn't reach anymore. If you can't make ends meet, Gilded, why don't you look for some way to supplement your income? Find a profitable sideline. Sideline? That's easier said than done. You're a man of imagination, Gilded. Think of a way to make money and then do it. What man can imagine? Man can do. You may have undeveloped talents. Mm-hmm. At least if you have any talents, they're undeveloped. All right, you old goat. Here's where I get off. Stop this cement mixer. Oh, yes, you wanted to get out at Floyd's, didn't you? Oh, watch it, Judge. What a driver. I think it over, Gilded. What man can imagine, man? Thanks for the ride, Hooker. You seem to be stuck in the snow. Gilded, would you mind giving me a little push? Judge, don't you imagine you can get out of there by yourself? What? What man can imagine man can do. All right, I hate to see an old man cry. Stand in the chair, Commissioner. I'll be with you as soon as I shave myself. Why don't you barbers shave at home? I wasn't expecting anybody this early. Here, read a magazine while you're waiting. Thanks. Then what's it gonna be? Haircut and shampoo and massage? A time for the wakes, ain't it? Just be a haircut, Floyd. Those extras all cost money. Since when you started pinching pennies, Commissioner? You always been known as a good spander in a barbershop. Well, I was balancing my books last night, Floyd. Oh, that's... It's getting harder and harder to keep my head above water. Getting rough, huh, Commissioner? Maybe you ought to get a sideline. Take like my wife's sister. She's got chickens in the garage. Please, Floyd, I've just had a lot of bum advice from the judge. Those big ideas for making extra money always fizzle out. Yeah, look at this now. Learn to write. Make big money at home in your spare time. Isn't that add ridiculous? It would be for me. You too may become a successful writer after 13 easy lessons. Yeah. And listen to this. Mrs. Emma Henshaw, housewife, pictured above, sold her first story for $600. What a lot of malarkey. I don't know, Floyd. Look, she's holding up the check. Looks bonafide. Says here anybody with imagination can write. Come to think of it, that's pretty important to a writer. Imagination. All good writers think up those things if they didn't have imagination. It just happens to be one of my talents. It does. The judge was just saying what a good imagination I have. And what man can imagine man can do. Well, maybe you could make the grade right and at that, Commissioner. You come up from nothing to be a water commissioner. Floyd. I was only kidding, Commissioner. I will say this for you. You write a good letter. Oh, you think so, Floyd? Yep. Remember that delinquent notice you sent to my and Lovie's house that time? Very well worded. Of course it made us so mad we tore it up, but very well worded. Thanks, Floyd. Sure, and you got that literary air. I have? Sure. Well, you'd look just like that gent I seen autographing books down at Hogan Brothers. If you let your hair grow and you... What am I saying? Well, I'm ready to give you a trim, Commissioner. Never mind the trim, Floyd. I may just let my hair grow. But, Commissioner... And if you don't mind, I'll take this magazine along. Hi, George. I might just mail this coupon. 13 easy lessons for $25. With constructive criticisms. $600 for a short story, eh? I wonder what they'd pay for a continued story. Hello, Pee-Vee. Oh, hello, Mr. Keyelder, please. What can I do for you today? Pee-Vee, do you have one of those magazines for writers? How's that? You know, they're ones that tell you how much they pay for stories. Well, let me see. I think we do have a magazine here on the stands that deals in such things. Yeah, here it is. Writers market, it says. That's what I want. Let me see that. That'll be $25. I just want to look at it, Pee-Vee. Well, I can't charge for that. Anything else? You might give me a couple of elbow cigars. Yeah, well, elbow's it is. I was gonna give up cigars, but... Oh, what's this? Best seller sold to movies. Betty McDonald's first novel, The Egg and I, sold for $50,000. Here are your elbow's, Mr. Keyelder. That'll be $1650. Take them back, Pee-Vee. Bring me Corona Coronas. Corona, Corona. My, my. And I'll buy this magazine. Very well. Rapid as a gift. No, Pee-Vee. I'm gonna use it myself. You don't change. Nothing wrong with a man increasing his income at home? Writing? If he has a talent for it? No. Not if he has a talent. I often wish I had a knack for writing. By Ned, I've had some experiences that would make pretty thrilling reading. Oh, that's so, Pee-Vee. I'm here to tell you. Mr. Gildesley, if you should ever need material, it just might be. You'd like to weave a story around the time Mrs. Pee-Vee and I went to the Grand Canyon. Oh, what happened? Very thrilling sight, Mr. Gildesley. Then there was the time the tent show came to town, and the romantic lead got sick and couldn't appear. I suppose you took his place. No, the tickets are dead. But I sold the tickets. Oh, for a... Pee-Vee, if I need any material, I'll take it from my own experience. Very well. I'm sure I've led a much more interesting life than you have. Have you ever seen the Grand Canyon? Well, no, but... Ever sold tickets in a tent show? Well, no. But then don't tell me who's had the experience. Pee-Vee, I may write a book about you with that. You are a character. Well, I wouldn't say that. This is the time of year when most of us feel in need for plenty of good, solid nourishment from our food. And one way to help get that nourishment is to eat plenty of Par-K margarine with your meals. Sure is easy because Par-K tastes so good. Well, it's easy in another way, too. With all its nutritional value, plus the 15,000 units of essential vitamin A you get in every pound. Par-K costs only about half as much as the most expensive food. Sure, it's easy to buy, but it's even easier to taste, is all I'm saying. Well, there's a reason Par-K tastes so good. It's prepared like a rare luxury food from the selected products of American farms. Reasoning ain't as important as tasting this wall. You put some Par-K on hot breakfast waffles, and you forget all about reasoning. Same way with hot dishes, buns and bread. Any way you try. Par-K tastes like it should cost twice as much. Friends, why not make sure you get the nourishment you need in this delightful way? This winter, buy light, delicately flavored Par-K. The margarine that tastes like it should cost twice as much. That's Par-K, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Par-K margarine made by Kraft. Well, they say necessity is the mother of invention. When the great Gildersleeve figured his income against his outgo for 1948, it seemed necessary to earn more money. A learn-to-write ad in a magazine caught his eye. And not one to shilly-shally, we find him up bright and early this Saturday morning, eagerly bent upon a literary career. No use with that. No use waiting for those lessons to arrive. Here's where I'll start writing my first story now. Let's see. What'll I write about? Wonder what Mrs. Emma Henshaw wrote about. Maybe I should get a set of encyclopedias. I'll bet they're full of ideas. I'll telephone the bookstore. No use waiting for the encyclopedias to arrive. I can get an idea. I could write about PV selling tickets at the... No. I know what my trouble is. I don't have a typewriter. A good author thinks with his typewriter. Where's that phone? No use waiting for that typewriter. I'll keep busy in longhand. Chapter one. Dr. Morton. P. Gildersleeve. Well, I better stop for a while. Don't want to write myself out the first day. Yeah, I think I'll go over and see Adeline. No. She wouldn't want to discuss books like I do. I think I'll go over and chat with Eve Goodwin. She's a school principal. Guys, won't you come in? Thank you. It's been such a long time. It's nice to see you. Nice to see you too. Come into the parlor. Parlor? Oh, thank you. It's a little topsy-turvy, but Saturday seems to be the only time a schoolteacher has to clean house. Looks fine, Eve. Very bohemian. What? Nothing. You sure I'm not interrupting too much? Of course not, Dr. Morton. I'm delighted you came. Sit down. Thanks. Eve, guess what I've been doing? What you've been doing? You'll be surprised. Is something exciting down at the water department? No, Eve. I'm doing a little writing these days. You're writing, Dr. Morton? Yep. Oh, an article about the water department? No, a story. Continued type. Well, this is a surprise. What are you writing about? Well, life and things. Dr. Morton, you haven't changed a bit. Oh, and I think this sudden interest in the finer things is commendable. But what made you settle on writing? The money, I mean. Of course. But think for a moment. How well are you qualified to become a writer? Qualified? Well, a lot of people without experience sell their first story, Eve. And I can write as well as them. They, Dr. Morton. They? I'll grant there are some isolated success stories, but on the whole, writing is very hard and disappointing work. Oh, I'm willing to work. I know you are. But a writer must read good books, study and exchange ideas with well-informed people. Well, that's why I came over. Well, thank you, Dr. Morton, but that's not quite what I had in mind. For instance, have you attended any meetings of our literary club on Saturday evenings? Oh, no, that's Jolly Boy's night. Well, it so happens there's an important writer in Somerfield now, Mr. Clement. Where is? He's going to lecture to our club this evening. By George Eve, that's wonderful. You'll attend the lecture? You bet. I'd like to meet this Clement, fellow. Say, maybe I should invite him over to my house for tea. Yeah, I might learn a few angles. Well, I... Maybe Eve, I'll give a tea, crumpets and everything. You'll come, won't you, Eve? How's Saturday, Sunday afternoon? Well, I'd be delighted, Dr. Morton. Great. I'll go and invite him right now. Where's he staying? Uh, he's the house guest of our club president, Mrs. Pettibone. Mrs. Pettibone, huh? That old bitty and I never have been on the best of terms. I know. Yeah, but what the heck? I'll invite her too. She likes to bite into a free crumpet the same as anybody else. Here she comes. I can see her through the little window. What a strut that Mrs. Pettibone has. Look at the tilt to her nose. Oh, hello, Mrs. Pettibone. Oh, it's you, Mr. Gilderslay. Yeah. Trouble with the water pipes in this neighborhood again? Oh, no, there wasn't. No, indeed, Mrs. Pettibone. I came to invite your house guest, Mr. Pettibone. Oh, indeed, Mrs. Pettibone. I came to invite your house guest, Mr. Clement, over to my house Sunday afternoon. Oh. You and Dr. Pettibone come too, of course, for tea. Tea, Mr. Gilderslay. Well, crumpets too, of course. We'll talk about literary things. In fact, it's going to be a literary tea. This is most extraordinary, Mr. Gilderslay. I didn't know you had the slightest appreciation of the aesthetic. Well, I've kept it pretty well covered up. Well, I'm doing some writing now. Oh. Well, due to Mr. Clement's crowded schedule, I regret to say I don't see how we can possibly attend your tea. But, Mrs. Pettibone. I beg your pardon, Mrs. Pettibone. Oh, Mr. Clement. I was in the study, and I couldn't help over hearing this gentleman's invitation to tea on Sunday afternoon. Well, you see, Mr. Clement. I don't believe I've met Mr.... Dr. Ockmoreton, P. Gilderslay. How do you do, Mr. Gilderslay? Writer, you say? Well, just getting started. I'm City Water Commissioner on the side. I see. Uh, Mrs. Pettibone, I believe with a little juggling of commitments, I can attend Commissioner Gilderslay's tea. You can? Well, great. Sorry you and the doctor can't come, Mrs. Pettibone. Oh, oh, we'd be delighted. Yeah, I was afraid of that. I'm overjoyed that you wished to attend, Mr. Clement, because Mr. Gilderslay is one of our favorite people. Oh, yeah. Splendid. Splendid. What is the hour, Mr. Gilderslay? Well, it's now ten minutes... Oh, you mean for Sunday. Well, shall we say four o'clock? Very fashionable hour. Then until Sunday at four. Good day, Mr. Gilderslay. Yeah, good day, Mr. Clement. Good day, Mr. Gilderslay. Uh, Mrs. Pettibone. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good afternoon, auntie. Well, a guest of honor and a lot of literary people. Mrs. Pettibone, Eve Goodwin. Oh, joy, a tea. I can hardly wait. It's Leroy. You get going out of here. You keep out of sight, LaTee's over. Teach me. Who wants to stick around? Leroy. Does my maid's cap look all right, Mr. Gilderslay? Ain't wore one even a long time. Looks fine, buddy, and the parlor looks wonderful. Thank you, sir. Them in fact, Lepidious. Yours are off the bookcase. Uncle Moore. Yes, Marjorie? Don't you think you're going a little overboard all these encyclopedias and the typewriter? Well, I don't have to pay for them right away. By the time I do the royalties, I'll be rolling in. I'll bet. You bet. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Well, you meet Mr. Clement. You'll see what I mean. He became a successful writer, and now he just tours the world lecturing to women. Well, if that's what you want. Wouldn't be bad. I'll get it, Bertie. It's just a judge. Hello, Gilder. Well, come on in, judge. The reason I invited you... I know. You want a dignity, culture, and brains at your tea party. No? Did you bring somebody with you, Horace? Touche. Gilder, I wish to extend my compliments and best wishes upon your new endeavor. Well, thank you, judge. Here, have a cigar. A corona. Well, I thought you gave up cigars the other day to save money. Thank you. That was the other day, judge. Oh, and Bertie, you get it this time. It's they. I'm coming. At Capwall Street with Gilder, please. Yes, Bertie. Come on, judge. Let's start talking about something. Grab an encyclopedia. It's been a lovely tea, Mr. Gilder, please. Well, thank you, Mrs. Pettybones. Now you have to rush off. Goodbye, Throckmorton, and congratulations. It's been a very successful party. Oh, thank you, Eve. Gilder, let me shake your hand. This has been a most inspirational afternoon. Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, judge. There'll be a lot more like it. Mr. Clement, are you coming with us? Mr. Clement has agreed to stay for a little private chat, Mrs. Pettybone. He may even give me a little professional advice. Mr. Gilder Sleeve is offered to drop me by later, Mrs. Pettybone. Yes. Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Au revoir. Au revoir. Oh, the swire. These teas tire me. Well, Mr. Clement, shall we go into my study? Very well, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. You know, I appreciate your coming over to my house for tea, Mr. Clement. I was very anxious to come. Oh, I'm honored. Care to sit down? Take the stuff chair. Ah, thank you. I'll take this one by the typewriter. Nice cane you carry there. Is the head real gold? Well, I... Nice, expensive-looking suit you're wearing, too. English tweed? Yes, it is. Fearing bone. It's easy to tell that you've written quite a few books in your time, Mr. Clement. And quite a few. Well, I'll lay my cards on the table, Mr. Clement. The reason I arranged this tea was to learn a few trade secrets from you. But, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, you seem to have a good thing here as water commissioner. Are you certain you want to get into writing? I see through you, Mr. Clement. You don't want anybody to cut in on that big money, do you? Oh, it isn't that at all. In fact, I came over here to make you a proposition. Me? You wonderful. Yes, yes. You'll recall that I presented my lecture last evening without benefit of slides because they, uh, failed to arrive. Oh, yes, yes. Well, what's your proposition? Would you mind lending me $20 so I can have my trunk sent on from Omaha? Thank you. So that's it. Get out. Get off the property, you writer. The real test of a good meal is its flavor, of course. And you add a light, delicate, delicious flavor to any meal you serve if you use parquet. A flavor the family will love, whether you use parquet margarine in baking and cooking or as a spread for hot rolls or bread. And incidentally, when you buy parquet, you spend only about half as much as you would for the most expensive spreads. Think of it, half as much for this fine, nourishing margarine that tastes like a rare luxury food. Why not ask for parquet tomorrow? P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. This January, serve the spread that tastes like it should cost twice as much. So, P.V., I sent back the encyclopedias and the typewriter and the 13 easy lessons. There's no money in this writing game. No, I wouldn't say that. What's this, P.V.? You remember my little tent show experience you didn't think it was worth writing about? Take a look at this. What? A chick for $36. Don't tell me there's no money in this writing game. Oh, my goodness. Say, P.V., how about coming over to my house some evening for tea and discussion? Good night, folks. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Arthur Q. Bryan, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Wald saying goodnight for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilder Sleeve. You bet. Say, are you a cheese lover from a way back? If so, you'll be glad to hear this good news. Now, at long last, Kraft has plenty of aged, natural American cheese for you. The mellow golden wheels dealers cut in wedges. Since before the war, the need for cheese has been so great that it was difficult to set aside much for curing. Just this past year, Kraft could send plenty of fine shedders to the curing rooms, guarded for months and months. Now, this pre-war treat is back. Ask your dealer for a wedge of the mellow, grand-eating natural cheese, aged so carefully for you by the master cheesemakers of Kraft. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.