 The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw SMFT LSM FT LSM FT you said it Lucky strike means fine tobacco so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Independent tobacco experts auctioneers buyers and warehousemen present at the tobacco auctions can see lucky strike Consistently select and buy the finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco This fine lucky strike tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Larry Stephens and yours truly Don Wilson And after a tour of military camps in Colorado, Missouri, Illinois in New York Jack Benny is back again in his little old home in little old Beverly Hills, California the land of enchantment Where the fragrance of orange blossoms permeates the air the land of eternal sunshine This must be last year's travel folder Well anyway, it's nice to be home after eight weeks. No Rochester Rochester. Where are you? I'm packing my trunk in the kitchen isn't that a roundabout way of doing it? No boss I already put your suits back in the closet your shirts back in the dressing now I'm putting the sandwiches back in the ice ball Good they'll come in handy on our next trip. You know, it's bad enough to take a few sandwiches in a police But boss a trunk full Rochester there's nothing like playing safe when you're on a train I know but when everybody else want to eat they went to the diner. We had to go to the baggage car Stop complaining And what for you didn't bite my fingers. No, fortunately you stopped me just as I was dipping them in the mayonnaise Packed enough food to last us for the trip. How many sandwiches have we got left one? One cheese and three hundred and eighty-five peanut butter 385 peanut butter. Yeah, they didn't sell so good. I Wasn't selling sandwiches. There are a lot of people who couldn't get into the diner. So I gave them those sandwiches absolutely free Sandwiches. Yeah, but then you made me sing and charge them entertainment I only charge those that got up to dance. I don't want to hear any more about this. Oh Oh Darn it. There's that sculptor from st. Joe still working on my statue. I wish he'd hurry up and finish it Say boss, I was just watching him make that statue and he's got you standing there with your hand in your vest like Napoleon Well, what's wrong with that? He's got your other two hands in your pocket That's ridiculous. How many legs did he give me? I don't know But if the race tracks were open, I bet on you there's the door Maybe if I send st. Joe a picture of me they'd call that guy off Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. What's the matter? Something wrong? Oh, you know that sculptor from st. Joe followed me to Denver Yeah, well he followed me here to and he insists on finishing that statue. Well, what are you complaining about? I think it's a wonderful tribute. They got a statue of Jesse James there, too Oh, fine comparing me to Jesse James. I never robbed a train in my life. No, but you put a dining car Rochester go back in the kitchen say Jack. I got your message. What do you want to see me about? I'll tell you when the rest of the gang get here. Why'd you come over so early, Mary? Well, I got a letter from mom and I wanted to read it to you. Oh a letter from your mother Well, what does the Lauren Bacall of Plainfield have? Plainfield, New Jersey February 30th February 30th. Mary February only has 28 days. I know but mama doesn't think it's fair Well, go ahead read it. My dear daughter, Mary It certainly was exciting when you and Jack spent those few days with us on your trip east It's too bad you had to dress in such a hurry that morning to catch the train. We barely made it I didn't realize how much you had rushed until after you were gone But don't worry as I just mailed your toothbrush and Jack's hair The one with a handle is the toothbrush No wonder I caught cold in Chicago. I must tell you the wonderful time we had in Jersey City last Saturday Your father's doctor invited our whole family to attend his medical convention and it was very exciting The doctors held a beauty contest and your sister babe was voted miss. It shouldn't happen to of 1945 I know babe could do it It has been reclassified and it looks like it won't be long now because the draft board has a new system They take a phone book pick a number call it and if you answer you're in Well, the telephone is faster now I can understand those posters that say uncle Sam needs you He's not pointing. He's getting ready to dial Hey, your mother's not kidding Your cousin Bobby is now a corporal is already overseas. He's the one who took his basic training at Montgomery Ward Closing Mary I have some neighborhood gossip that will really surprise you guess who murdered his wife this morning No other news love mama Goodie ace will love that. Well, that's a fine way to end Come in Oh, hello Larry. Hello, Mr. Benny. I came as soon as I got your message Well, I'll talk to you about it when the rest of the gang gets here. Okay. Oh, hello, Miss Livingston. Hello Larry Are you glad to be home? Oh, I sure am and to celebrate my homecoming all my friends chipped in and threw a big party for me How was it? Well, I don't know. I couldn't afford to go Well, that's a shame say Larry you mr. Harris send you the arrangement for your song for Sunday Yeah, and I think it's pretty good. Would you like to hear it? Sure kid sure go ahead? All right, thanks, Miss Livingston. Oh the Wimbus the man you ran your house to when you went away Well, I'll be darned. I forgot all about mr. Wimbus. Let me see that Dear mr. Benny if you remember the mr. Wimbus you rented your house to that's me However, I live in your house just one week and something very urgent happened I had a go somewhere's and since they asked me in such a nice way. I couldn't refuse sincerely yours private Wimbus He has profit by my experience if the phone rings don't answer Mary your mother must have been right about it. Come in. Hey Jackson. I got your call. What's up? I'll tell you when Don gets here. Hello, Libby. Hello, Phil. Isn't it great to be home again? Yeah, this is what I kept dreaming about doing all those cold weeks back east. Yep getting back to good old, California Yeah, man, this is the only place for me. You said it Phil come on in the other room Okay, where shall I put my umbrella? There by Mary's boots say Phil you look a little tired. Yeah, I am all day long I've been helping Frankie my guitar player look for a place to live I did he find one no Jackson and the poor guys practically an orphan now that they're closing the bars at midnight Been locked in twice. He wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all All you do is worry about Frankie your guitar player. It's all I hear You know wouldn't hurt you if you settled on yourself and got a little more sensible there. What are you talking about Jackson? I am sensible remember Chicago when we met the fellow who draws the Dick Tracy cartoon Yeah, well he said I was a very level headed guy. He didn't say you were level headed He said you reminded him of flat house You level headed or stop picking on me every time I open my mouth you jump right down my throat I'm not jumping down your throat. I'm just trying to give you a little advice. That's all I don't need any advice from you, mr. Anthony. I Could take care of myself mr. Anthony. I demand a little more respect from you Phil remember I'm the boss the boss wiping off his chin Your message what you want to see me about I'll tell you as soon as Don gets here. I am done. I mean Wilson I'm Wilson. I'm mixed up on the door buzzer Look kids the reason I asked you all to come over is because there's something important I want to talk to you about your expense accounts for the trip fast and your safety belt fellas. It's gonna be a rough ride Don right it is But looking over the expense accounts all of you turned in you must think money grows on trees Yeah, Jackson and you've got enough to keep you in the shade for the rest of your life I'd feel since you're such a wise guy will start with you. What's this item for $10 marked Valley service? I had some suits pressed at the hotel Hmm. I press my own suit And Wilson look at your account what's this charge for $7 marked laundry? Well, it's just what it is. I paid $7 to have some laundry done let free soap and water in the hotel No, I wash my own clothes Now Mary what's this charge on your account $15 ng a new girdle. Let's see a wiggle out of that one Yes, mr. Benny look at this account you turned in three dollars for your hotel room. Isn't that kind of expensive? Well, I thought so too, but that's what you charged me for sharing your bed with you Yes, kid. I forgot him and Wilson. What are these other entries on your account here? Oh, those are for lunch Sunday Monday Friday and Thursday lunch Sunday Monday Friday and Thursday Yes, I just abbreviated it to LS MFT. Oh And you know Jack I found out the most amazing thing. What is it done? LS MFT spelled backwards is TF MSL Well, isn't that a What is fell sideways? I Don't know about sideways, but always it's lucky strike means find the back. Oh, that's very clever done I'll getting back to your expense accounts. I want you kids to be more careful in the future But I'll pay you off now Wait here. I'll go into my vault and get the money Please turn your backs Thanks a pool and his money are soon-parted. Oh, it's you mr. Benny. That's right Have you been in quite well, sir me too sure good to get back home. Have you been away? Yeah, as for eight weeks. I went to New York. Oh must be nice there now. No, no Ed. It's winter Well, it's hard to tell in here Yes, I imagine it is take out your gun Ed. I'm going to open the safe. Yes See Combination is right to 45 Left to 160 Back to 15 And left to 110 There this ought to be enough money. What's along Ed my mr. Benny say Ed I've been thinking you must be kind of lonesome down here No, no, I don't mind it. Well, nevertheless. I'm going to get you a radio radio. What's that? Well, it's a new thing that that people enjoy. Well, send one down if I like it. I'll eat it No, no, Ed. It's nothing to eat. You know well so long so long mr. Benny Well here you are kids. I've got the money. Don't hold it so tight. Look how white his knuckles are Just be glad you're getting it. That's all say Jack while you were in the vault playing Monte Cristo my maid Pauline called up Yeah, she said they delivered my luggage from the station, but my brown grip is missing your brown grip Yes, and I've got to have it all my lingerie in that bag. Well, gee you better call up the station try and find it No, I've got my car outside. I better drive down. Will you come with me? Okay? Make yourselves at home fellas I'll see you later. Come on Jack. Just a minute. It's locked. Come on Awfully windy with the top down let's stop and put it up Let's blow your hair around a little. This is sister blows yours around it blows mine off The way the wind keeps lifting it up. You look like you're reading a mystery story I'll put it in the glove compartment. It's chilly You'll get used to it. Anyway, here's the station. Yeah, there's a parking place right in front. I see it There let's go in Gosh look at that mob in there Gee railroad station are always so crowded now. Let's see. Where's the Let's go over to the baggage room and find out You since the Kansas City Convention five years ago. Look, there must be Hatshake girl. She's still looking for you now. Wait a minute. See you've made a mistake smoke bill How you've aged in five years, huh? I told you in Kansas City that the kind of life you were leading to kill you Now wait a minute. Look, I'm not now now bill. I'm not scolding you It's your life to live with you, please But it's beginning to tell on you. Well, you've even lost your hair. He didn't lose it. It's in the glove compartment Mary well well bill. This must be your little one My my she's grown since I saw her last You know young lady. I see a missus. I won't say a word Look, look, I'm trying to tell you the way you still with a catch-all garbage can company Look at if you just listen to me I never forget the time you sold this idiot Syracuse 2000 garbage can and the first time they were used the bottoms fell out of every one Think that cause I'm taking the train to San Diego. Look, I say San Diego Remember that night bill Silly guy, what do we thought I was Bill? Oh Yes, come on Mary. There's the baggage room there train leaving on track five for Anna and cook come on Sorry, I'll tell him it's in my suitcase. You know how they push women around you better. Let me handle it Jack no, I'll show you how to get things done in a hurry. Well, okay, but I think you're wrong. Oh Say miss her. Yes Yesterday when I got off the train, I missed a suitcase. Well now that's a switch just this morning a man got off a suitcase and missed a train Never mind the jokes the bag I'm looking for is brown alligator with a double handle just a moment. I'll look for it Okay, train leaving on track five for Anaheim Azusa and Don't worry about your grip. I'll get it for you. This is the only alligator bag I found it has the initials ml on it. That's me Mervyn Larson here. I'll take it. Ah, not so fast Mervyn first you've got to identify the content and now let's see Hey, it's open now. I'll go through the say this can't be your bag. Oh, yes, it is Really, Mervyn you have such a deep boy Just look at this three pairs of panties for pairs of stockings tonight. Now look smart guy close that bag You Will you please go away? Bill you said your name was Mervyn. My name isn't Bill. Is it Mary? No, it's Jack there Jack. What happened to Mervyn? That's my name. Then this bag is yours. It is not. It's my bag Who are you and what's your name? Her name is bag and she wants her marriage. I Mean her name is Mary and she wants her back then for heaven's sakes. What's your name? My name is Bill Ladies and gentlemen in the past three years. I have seen the Red Cross in action both here and overseas Why we were on this last trip to New York and back my gang and I visited many hospitals And folks if you could have seen what we saw You'd give to the Red Cross so fast their need for 200 million dollars would be covered in no time They're doing a job so big that they can only keep it up with our help When we realize that the Red Cross now operates 727 clubs overseas Serves an average of two million meals a month Provides music books magazines newspapers and recreation to our men That's something to be proud of and how about the way they've been getting those packages into prison camps All I can add folks is this let's do it now Let's jar loose all the spare money we can and give it to the Red Cross. Thank you It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and lucky strike means fine tobacco The finer the lighter the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco this fine lucky strike tobacco means real Deep down smoking enjoyment for you so smoke that smoke of fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm So fully packed so free and easy on the draw the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's program I'm mr. L. A. Speed Riggs of Goldsboro, North Carolina And mr. F. E. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky Sold American as a rise deal speaking for lucky strike Mft ls Mft ls Mft you said it why sure yes lucky strike means fine tobacco So smoke that smoke a fine tobacco lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw Well Mary we finally got the right bag, so you don't have to you have nothing to worry about you know I knew you could do it Mervin you can stop with that Mervin now Wait a merry didn't you drive past the house? I don't think so Where are we just a second? I'll put up the periscope and see I told you we should have had the top up. Good night folks