 What's up guys, Evil Deer here! So today I'm gonna give you one of my army stories. Now this story is a little bit nauseating, so if you're not into those types of things, please move right along. And if you're eating right now, put it down or come back to this video later, because honestly I don't want to be responsible for any projectile vomit. Okay, good. Now we can move along. Awesome. Okay, so this story happened I guess probably about eight years ago, halfway through my army service. Now back at that time, I was part of a section of six people. Now for those who aren't knowledgeable I guess of the army, sections are basically just groupings of soldiers. Now in the location where I was working, there's probably like 12 sections, so 12 groupings of six soldiers. And we all had this tiny little like shed slash warehouse thing, like where you'd park a mini aeroplane, you know, like how it's kind of got like the curved roof type of thing. But all these sheds were connected to each other, like one, one, one type of thing, you know, one, one, one, that's probably better for you guys to see. And just between the fences is just basically like a chicken wire set up. So we all had our own section and we're all located in our own little shed. And the sheds basically had in one side a table, on the other side racks with bags that sat on it in equipment, and directly in the middle our vehicle. And that was our sections of vehicle. Now anyway, so in my section of six guys, and we're always loved to play shenanigans on each other, because honestly army guys we have nothing better to do. We're just sitting in these locations, waiting to go, I don't know, to war or to go practice war. And there's really no women around. So all we do is prank each other. So anyway, my section sitting here and the guy from another section who's directly opposite of us, he always did shenanigans to us. So it was our turn to get some revenge. Anyway, so one day he went out and our guys, one of the guys, I don't know where he came up with this idea, had this great idea. So we snuck over into his shed because the rest of his guys were out. We grabbed down his bag off the rack. Now you've got to realize an army guy's bag is, it's designed to carry like 25 kilos of weight, designed to have absolutely everything in it, designed to be ready to go when you need to, in case it's suddenly war, you're off. So everything's pre-packed in there. So one of the guys had this great idea and he went scourging around and he found like all this random, it might have been dog shit, might have been kangaroo shit, I don't know, but all this animal shit. And he came back with like a big freaking spade of it. A military spade. So it's like that wide type of thing. And a big spade of it and just dropped it into that bag, closed it up, zipped it, you know, like pulled all the things, put it back up on the shelf and we all just went quickly snuck out of there before someone spotted us. And we're all sitting there having a good laugh. And the funny thing is we're all expecting that day to go out and do a pack march. Now pack march is basically where you grab that giant bag, put it on your back and then you go walk for 5 to 10 kilometers, simulating, you know, transferring of equipment and everything from one location to another in military surrounding. Anyway, so we're all expecting this pack march and we're going to have this big laugh about it type of thing. But then for some reason, unknown. They canceled the pack march and they gave us all these other jobs and we all had to like skedaddle type of thing and go do all this other work. And then the joke kind of died off and we all kind of forgot about it. Anyway, so we're going to jump ahead now three months. Okay, so we're ahead three months now and they call a pack march. So they're like, okay guys, we're going to do a pack march, grab your equipment, we're going off for a walk now. So we'll grab our bags, put them on our back, check that we've got all that stuff, chuck a few things in there we haven't, take out a few things we haven't. Now obviously this guy, he's grabbed his bag down, hasn't even checked it or maybe he's just chucked a few things on top, I don't know. Closer to that, put it on his back and then we'll go walking for about 5 kilometers. And we're about this sort of thing, probably like 2.5 kilometers through me and my section, his section is directly in front of this marching because you're marching groups like in a big line. And so we're all marching along and then one of the guys goes, hey, hey man. And I'm like, what, what? And he goes, what happened to the shit we stuck in that dude's bag? And I was like, do my mate? And because we're not allowed to talk loud, so we're like whispering to each other, we'll go, he's got this fucking LAO, he's got this fucking shit in there from like 3 months ago. And we get to the location and they're like, okay everyone, 15 to 30 minutes, I can't remember what it was, you gotta eat and then we're going to continue on again. So we'll sit down, open up our bags, my section's here with my bunch of guys and his one's like directly next to us. So we're trying to laugh but kind of keep it to ourselves. And then the most crazy-ass thing ever happened. He opened up his bag and we're all sitting here going to laugh at each other. And then we hear this out of nowhere and this is, I swear to God, there's no word of lie where he goes, what the fuck is all this dust on all my stuff? And then we're like, because remember, it's been 3 months, okay? We're inside these sheds. These sheds have got like team grooves and it's been blasted by the sun, the Australian sun every day. So that shit has cooked in there. It's deep fried, man. It's turned to rock. And then we've walked 2.5 kilometers with all this equipment and they're bouncing around. So it's gone hard and then it's shattered and just turned to dust all through his bag, no word of lie. So everything's covered in dust. And he's sitting here going, what the hell is all this dust? Like, what's going on here? And then we're sitting here in this kind of like silent battle looking at each other like all my mates, going, should we say something? And there's two like thought processes going on at the one at this moment. We're like, well, if we say something, then he's going to go flip and then he's going to want to eat our food. And we don't want that. We haven't got much food. And there's another process. It's like, well, if we can't make him eat shit, you know, like he's going to open up his food and he's going to probably munch on some of it by accident. So we're sitting here going, what do we do? What do we do? And the next thing we notice, he's got this chocolate bar out and it's all packed and he's going, getting all the dust off. It's going, oh man, Billy, help. And he opens it up, pushes the thing down and goes, it's just about the munch on one. The other guy goes, stop. And he's like, what's up? And he's like, dude, that's not dust. That's shit. And the guy sitting here going, what? Like, yeah, he's got a smile on his face. He thinks we're pulling like some, well, we were pulling a joke, but he thinks we're pulling some other type of joke on us. He's like, what are you guys on about? What, what's good? And then it all came out and we're like, dude, that's not fucking dust. That's shit, man. We put shit in your bag like three months ago and it's turned to dust. And it's obviously gone everywhere through your bag and he's like, what? What the hell did you guys do? What? And then he grabs his bag, flips out all his stuff and he's looking through, getting all his stuff out. And then the whole bottom of his bag is just caked in this dust, okay? But it's not just dust. There's still a few hard particles in there. And you can tell that that wasn't just sand that got into his bag. That was freaking dust and shit. And he's like, what did you guys do? I can't do my vibe. What am I gonna do? And we're like, dude, dude, it's okay. We'll give you some of that, dude. It hasn't got shit on it. And then it kind of, as always happens in the army, all kind of had a laugh about it. And especially like, we're laughing and we're expecting some more like, you know, fighting from like his team or something. But they're all laughing even harder at him. Like his own team is sitting there going, type of thing. And we're all just laughing and he's like, I'm gonna get you guys so bad. But you know what? The best part wasn't even the fact that he almost ate shit. The best part was the next year of random calls that he got. He's walking along, let's say. Walking down the road, he's like, and we're like, hey, hey. And he's like, what's up? He goes, hey, Mr. Shit Eater. Have you seen blah, blah, blah? And then that was his nickname from there for it. His name was Shit Eater. And he hated that name. But the more he hated it, the more it stuck to him like, shit. That wasn't even intentional, guys. So yeah, every time we'd see him, it's like, hey, Mr. Shit Eater. Just, ah, type of thing. How are you going? But anyway, so yeah, that was his nickname. And then obviously with time, I changed location, then I left the army. But I swear to God, if I ever find him on Facebook, I'm gonna send him a message and go, hey, Shit Eater, what's happening? Man, I haven't heard from you in a while. He probably like, purposely broke contact with us all just so he'd get rid of that freaking nickname. But I'll find him one day. I'll find him and I'll bring it back up. I don't care if he's got kids and children, I'm gonna rock up in his door, leave a note. Hey, mate, Mr. Shit Eater, it's been so long. And his wife would be like, why are they calling you Shit Eater? But yeah, anyway, that's another that. So yeah, that's today's story. If you enjoyed this story, and you want to hear more random army stories, more Esperanto stories, more wife stories, more cat stories, ah, I didn't know. Just tell me, tell me. And if you really do like these things, please subscribe to the channel if you haven't already. Share if you're mates, because if your mates know about it, they come here, they watch it. You know, we can all have a good laugh at the expense of other people. It'll be great. Anyway, so yeah, share with your mates. And I will see you in the next video. And if not, well, you better check your bag, because I might have left a gift for you.