 I'm not generally satisfied by the pace at which the world dispenses engagement. So on a conceptual level, I've always been obsessed with theme parks. The idea is to create a controlled environment, allowing you to wander through and effortlessly create an experience of streamlined instant gratification fun. Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinators Podcast, a podcast on the internet, what a novelty. I am the best guy ever and we're joined today by Munchy Where's Tiny Hats? It's me, Legoland. Here I am before you today, the most decadent king of all. I'm here to spread my wealth and tell you about the most wondrous plans. Famous Sonic YouTuber Hippocrite? I was gonna say Legoland, you bitch. What? I love Legoland. Oh, not as much as me. We've also got the DeVoo. Hip bone, Skelly, Crits, Wild Ride was a really good value. And Monkey Jones. We're not even a minute in and I already have to pee. Oh, no. I'll just do what I do, dude. Bring a bottle, my friend. Just do what I do. Just go on air. Just pee into your own mouth. That's true. I'm gonna pee into the bottle that I'm drinking out of and then just keep drinking out of it. Yeah. Hey, that's called second harvest. That's a water, a bottled water, a second harvest. Wow, that's good. Is that to Paul Newman's iced tea brand? You know, I'm drinking Rolling Rocks. It probably wouldn't change the taste at all. Yeah, for Rolling Cock. Nate, what is the PCP? The PCP is the most knuckle, whitening, earth-shattering, screen exploding red pill podcast in the world about a bunch of internet creators who all came together because they had the perfect opinion when combined. They had the perfect... Wait, do we introduce the show every episode now? Yeah. We're working on it. We're working on it. Okay, that's nice. That's cool. What would you keep going on? These retards at home keep forgetting what the show is and we have to remind them. It's true. It's true. So hopefully they'll bake it into their brains this time. Yeah. So today, everybody, we're talking about amusement parks. amusement parks, bumper cars, roller coasters, yeah, the teacups, cotton candy, getting beleted by Armenian men who run the rides. Yeah. Circus tent. There's a lot grinding into your fucking feet until they bleed. That's true. Okay, the great thing about amusement parks, I just want to say off the bat, is that you forget how painful just existing as a three-dimensional being is until the end of the day. After you just, you know, like you walk around, you experience life, and then at the end of the day, you walk home and you're dead. You're dead. It's great. We should mention that we decided to do this after me becoming infatuated with a certain water park vlogger by the name of Si. I am not privy to this meme. There's no meme here. Si released a water park vlog and I was so enthralled by it and specifically it's thumbnail and how literally ingenious it is and how much I legitimately enjoyed it. I just want to see water park vlogs constantly. We know Si has a kind of a weird predicament where his like subscribers don't all watch his videos. Let me tell you Si, if you want 100% retention, the world needs water park vlogs, water park vlogs. Guys, let me make a deal with you. That's the best water park in the world. And seriously Si, that was great. Guys, I guarantee you I can get Si to give me that thumbnail without text on it if we want to use that as a thumbnail for this episode. Yeah, you're already going to see thumbnail because it's going to be thumbnail you just clicked on. Okay, fantastic. Question, Si is in the thumbnail. This episode is getting probably what, 1500 views max? I think that's how it works. Yeah, probably. Hey, before we get too deep into the thing, let me read. Okay, so there's no amusement park entry and urban dictionary, but what I did find was a disease called amusement park hangover. All right, so let me just read this to you. This is just like I was talking about before. The feeling you get the day after going to an amusement park, particularly when you spend all day on intense rides, symptoms include horse voice, headache, fatigue, and general pains. And then the description is not funny, so I'm not going to read it. So there you go. There you go. Okay, so that's where we're coming from. What is our favorite amusement park? I got to say Disney World in fucking Orlando, California. Disney World, no question. Nate, do you remember this one time on Twitter, where I forget the exact context. Disney World, Disneyland, we were arguing over it or something. Yeah, we were arguing whether Disneyland or Disney World was the moon park that one of our fans was attending, and I defeated you in hand-to-hand combat. You did. I humiliated you. And you officially on that day handed me, quote, all of your internets with a Z. So in PCP Canada, in PCP lore, I'm objectively more powerful than Nate, because I have all of his internets. So what that manifests is, if you look at my download speeds, they're struggling to crank out 0.01 kilobytes per second, whereas Munchy is just living in the lap of luxury, downloading all the tarot flops you could possibly want in his fucking life. One day I'll get him back. Whenever I click on a download link, I just hear a punch sound effect because it's downloading so fast. Download 55 new mouse clickers that instant. All right, Nate, why is Disney World the best theme park other than all the propaganda? Yeah, that sounds like a shitty answer. Everybody knows that. So let me see. I think I've been to, I don't know, maybe like six or so amusement parks, probably in my whole life, but Disney World was definitely the most fun. Okay, but I'm sure a lot of it has to do, as I'm sure many of our stories will involve the specific things that happened there and the situation that brought you there and the people that were there, et cetera, et cetera. So when I was in high school, me and my older brother Ben, who you might know, we both were in marching band and our marching band was pretty darn good. And yeah, I know it's taken a sort of weird start, but we were in marching band. I played the clarinet, Ben played the saxophone, and we were well loved amongst our people in Massachusetts where the school was. What happened? Where did all that love go? Well, basically, our marching band was good enough where we were invited to Disney World to participate in the march down the main avenue. And we all just, this would happen every single year. We would all get together, we'd pack up our shit, and we'd all go down to Disney World, and we'd just have a great time. And then we'd go there to march during one of Disney World's gay days that you and Ben have an experience every year. Do they allow gay people in Disney World? No. That place is really gone to shit. This isn't a meme. They specifically have gay days. I mean, no straight people are allowed. I mean, I'm sure you can go if you're straight as long as you, you know, like, hike your pants up. You just have to suck a dick on your way, you know? Yeah, but specifically so that, yeah, so that same sex couples can like come over and like hang out and make out without like, you know, all the Christian kitties getting corrupted. Okay, you know, real fucking thing. That's exclusion by exclusion. It's very popular. Yeah. Separate but equal. That's kind of cool, you know, issues aside. But my favorite thing about that is how mad Walt Disney would have been if he knew that he'd be missing out on all these orgies. He'd be like, God damn it. Why did he freeze my head like they said? I want in. I didn't give the Nazis enough money. So we'll see. That's the great thing. That's what I was going to say. The best thing about Disney World is that canonically is the place where the frozen Messiah Walt Disney's corpse lives right now. And one day he will rise from the dead to save us all from the cuckoldry of modern life. So that's, you know, that's why I go down there once a year to pray to him. That's my Mecca. And it's got the rock and roll roller coaster with Aerosmith, baby. So that's where I do most of my work on that roller coaster. Like, like cool, it would be if Walt Disney actually did get cured of death and he just came back, like, and that actually paid off. And then he had like the, the all of his, um, what do you call him when you copyrights? All of his copyrights will be extended for another billion years because now he's alive. Oh, yeah. The law will be fucked. That's what's going to happen. Disney is just going to like, like the company's going to hire someone to act like Walt Disney. And like, I'm, I'm here now copyright. This is, this is copyright. Now, because we, since we asked them to extend it too many times, we're just going to like reset the entire counter again. That's, that's going to be the new strat. Silly old religious people who believe in souls and whatnot. Not even, you know, you have to be religious, but whatever. People who believe in souls think that like death is magical, but death really is like an engineering problem that we could one day solve. If Walt Disney came back from the dead, I think Disney would have a, the company would have a really hard time readjusting to being like artistically motivated in like a personal way. They'd be like, that's what that's what it feels like to like have an idea. I just, just the other day I was watching some documentary about a guy who like, who used to work at Walt Disney or Walt Disney. I fucked up. I fucked up bad. But he, like he, he said this quote that I is totally famous, but I just forgotten. He reminded me it's that Walt Disney is the guy who said that like, we don't make art to make money. We make money to make art. So for him, it was all about just, you know, like having the resources available to continue to make his craft. And you know, who knows, you know, a Jew hating aside, you know, you got to respect that. You got to respect. Well, I respect that. That's my personal goal. I don't know why I have to excuse that. Walt Disney famous for his Viagra with series. Yeah. Much beloved. Big Princess Tutu fan. Now I, I too love all things Disney. I'm a big Disney movie kind of guy and I love Disney theme parks. However, I do not live on the disgusting rancid fucking like, like yellow colored dick that is the East Coast of the United States. I live on the West Coast. We're old money. We're old money. Yeah. You're new money. You'll never be one of us. You'll never be one of us. You know, Disney specifically made the other parks because this is what I saw from their, from their Disney World propaganda movies on the travel channel. It was like, you know, back in the 60s, the, the ride over to get to Disneyland was filled with all these cheap, cheesy hotels and diners and dives and shitty places and cheap smoke shops. And Disney was like, well, that's just a shitty way to get to my park. So he built other ones. Oh, by the way, guys, the ride into Disneyland is no longer like that. Law. Is that okay? Oh, right. Okay. I'm fine. Anyway, Disneyland is, from what I hear, just like shitty or Disney World, but fuck you. You don't even have the magic castle, you cuck. What are you doing? We have the magic castle. You got a cheap imitation. It doesn't have Walt Disney's body frozen inside. Okay, true, true. Okay. The best part about Disneyland is how they literally, like emotionally manipulate you and on every conceivable level, physical and emotional, they like, they like have like, like different smells that they emanate from their fucking carnices. Like, like, like, like every single restaurant has at least one dead body inside emanating delicious smells for you to delicious pheromones. Yeah, I've read this in a book in the game game design book of lenses book by Jesse Shield guy who worked at Disney. He was saying that when they were making Disneyland while Disney was like looking around like, you know, like pointing at people like, okay, go there. Okay, that right. Put that one there, you know, that kind of shit. Then sometimes he would bend down on his knees and then kind of like hobble around a little bit. And people were like, why hobble on your knees? And he's like, I got to know what this park looks like from the perspective of a kid. And it's like, oh, shit. That's genius. That guy's in the fucking dirt. He's, he's just gone into like a wheelchair or something, dude. Are you going to like hop on a lady's back so you can see what it's like from a baby? Like, what the fuck? Yeah. Why not just take two barrels of a shotgun and blow off your fucking calves and then you're, you know, a couple feet shorter? I know you really shouldn't do that. He just, he just doesn't understand the hard shit to come. He needs to get serious. He needs to get serious about that shit. Get your fucking head in the game while Disney, Jesus Christ. What I was going to ask is, I mean, so the Undertaler, right? So the Undertaler is a staple of the Disneyland experience as I understand it. Every time I go there and I want, you know, you know, I think I'm going to go, okay, I'm going to go, I'm going to go to Adventureland. I'm going to get on Splash Mound. Then I think, oh, wait. And then I walk near and he's like, oh, my Jesus. I'm so good to see you. Is he like a mascot? The Undertaler is like, he's the Casey Neistat of Disneyland. He defines the culture of that area. So like, I believe like the Undertaler is like a mascot at Disneyland. I remember seeing in the news one time that like one like Mickey Mouse mascot at like Disney World like touched a 13 year old girl's like chest right before a photo shoot. And so he got arrested. I think the Undertaler gets arrested if he doesn't molest the kid he's taking a picture with. That's what they want, right? Guys, just just keep your ear to the ground for when Disney buys the Undertale copyright rights and hear that there are that there are fucking developments being made at Disneyland for a Undertale ride. When the PCP gets like 15 billion subscribers and then we get bought out by Disney, then they're going to have full rights to the Undertaler character and they're going to be able to use him in whatever disgusting wicked ways they see fit by making him a cleaner, more socially adjusted person. It's going to be a complete perversion of the original vision of the character. By the way, next time I go to Disneyland, I'm going to piss my pants so I can really get into the shoes of the Undertaler. I can really see what it's all about. I can really learn how to like ride them. It's like a performance story. It's like a performance story. That's real Gonzo journalism. Yeah. The Undertaler is definitely the pissed Gonzo journalist. He really just has to live it and you know, write about it as he sees fit. Okay, all right, but no more fucking around. Undertaler, get out of my way. Oh, I'm an acid now. There's new acid rides Disneyland. In case you didn't know. The fucking best part about Disneyland, I don't know if this is even in world, is the giant turkey legs. The turkey legs that are fucking huge and like the size of my head and every time I go there, I eat like two and I literally barf every single time and it's what I want. I legitimately throw up at Disneyland every single time I go every single time. I don't know how meme you're being, but that seems to be no, I'm not, not any. Every single time because I just want to eat all the turkey legs because they're so big. They're so big. The theme parks I always go to, it has like these, these really awesome giant turkey legs. And I remember like a picture of me as a kid with my brother with those giant disproportionately huge turkey legs. Where the fuck do they genetically engineer these Titan turkeys? You know, that's what I was going to ask because like, I never got a turkey leg in an amusement park, but like, I feel like there's just like amusement park staple food, which includes like those giant turkey legs because like whenever I, Richard's Fair, King Richard's Fair is a big like Massachusetts, or is it Connecticut? I think it's, yeah, it's in Massachusetts, like a big medieval festival that happens every year or whatever. And uh, uh, Renaissance fair, that's the one I'm looking for. Yeah. And it's like they sell the giant turkey legs and like they all, they also sell them in like Disneyland. Is there like some menu that like all amusement parks order from? I mean, personally, my favorite was always the clam chowder bread bowls. Those are my personal favorite of all time. Clam chowder bread bowl is an amusement park food? Yeah, I've never, that's fucking crazy. Well, that's what I was going to say because I know I get them at King Richard's Fair when I go, but I've never gotten them. Yeah, I don't see anybody at Disneyland or the bowl of soup. That's fucking night and kings and fucking bars did not have a clam chowder. You goddamn fucking bitch. My question is, what's everybody's thoughts on funnel cake? Because I personally fucking hate it. I love funnel cake with strawberries and whipped cream on it. Oh, it's my fate. And I appreciate what is hateable about it. Is that the cake that you put in a funnel in those deviant art comics? Is that what they do? Oh, shit. It's, it's like a grid, it's like a weird grid of batter that they deep fry. It really is a grid. It's like if you have diarrhea and you deep fry it and then cover it in powdered sugar. That's what a funnel cake is. I've never seen this before in my fucking life. This is the worst thing I've ever been subjected to. It's pretty good. It's like, let me think, how to describe it? Like, yeah, just imagine cake, but imagine it fried instead of whatever. It's a very light, fluffy fry. Imagine if like French fries like were sweet instead of salty and never stopped. It was just a giant spaghetti. Sweet potato fries and those are good. What does funnel cake have to do with amusement parks? Because they're amusement parks, according to me and Nate, and you guys are all wrong, I guess. Yeah, they all have. It's one of the staple foods. Yeah. Well, actually they sell those and then they sell, um, shit, what are they called? These are actually, you see them a lot at, at baseball games as well or like football games. Oh, they're called hot dogs. Not a fucking hot dog. Well, that too, but like it's like a funnel cake. You may have heard them, they're called hamburgers. God damn it. What the fuck is this thing? It's just like a funnel cake. No, god damn it. It's called cup of water. It's like a funnel cake, but it's like one piece. Barefoot, whatever. Fuck it. Fuck it. Okay. All right. All right. That's enough talking for you one day. You just go ahead and get back in the cage real quick here on The Big Boys Talk. Um, the actual best food ever made outside of any, you know, like not just, you know, relegated to amusement parks, but they are generally inside of it. Before like when extinct were Dippin' Dots. Dippin' Dots were the only fucking food I loved in my entire life. Yeah, those were at the parks too. Why do you say they're extinct? Like I still have them at Walmart down here. What? Yeah, Mumtimee too. We have them at Walmart. Yeah. Okay, okay. Well over here, they used to be, they used to be like at McDonald's, they used to be like at every single fucking store. They used to be everywhere. They're like popular mainstream. I used to always get them, but now I don't see them anywhere. Okay. I was down at my favorite amusement park the other day, the Creationist Museum, not a joke. And I, uh, yeah. Is that the Ken Ham one or the, what's his name, Ken Ham or Ken Bone? I always mix them up. Maybe Ken Ham. It's the one in Kentucky that's like nearby. So it's, it's whatever that one is. The guy who debated Bill Nye way back in the day was Ken Ham. Ken Bone is the really cool, funny, um, XD presidential election. The point is, it's clearly superior to Disneyland because they did have Dippin' Dots. They had old Dippin' Dots boots, so there you go. Also, the thing with Dippin' Dots though is that they have to be like in a super, super cold freezer. Like they have to build special freezers just to keep them from melting. So it's like too much of a liability to have them because they keep fucking melting. The theme park. Because they got too many kids wandering in there and freezing to death. It's just a big, you know. But then they're like trying to burn down the restaurant. It's like a whole boy. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, like, like, like the Dippin' Dots at the theme park I went to, like they were like everywhere, like every couple of street paths you run into one. And like, my family has always been very like conservative with money when we go to one. So it's just a constant tease. And so I never actually had them, but they looked cool. Ice cream of the future. God damn it. I've seen them here for like seven years. How long can the future go? Yeah. Hey, remember, remember dibs that were like a bucket full of like these little individual ice cream things? Oh, yeah. You know, yeah, they're like covered in chocolate. Dibs are everywhere for me. Sorry. This is food of the future. We're going to be eating here in 20, 30. Yeah. Like, you better get basically nothing in this podcast so far is like wrong. True. Like, Oh yeah, I know that like nothing. What do they have your whole life? Have you ever walked before and seen a funny fucking clown juggle? I don't know. Do they have like prime rib and steak over at your meat? Oh, yes, it's me. The average English nine year old child. Oh, I should have my pride. I have to have my starline with my, oh, my sword with my own. We have fuck off. Candy floss. Candy. Get out of here. That sounds like the least healthy thing for your teeth of all time. Oh, wait. No, you call it explains a few things. But you call it cotton candy. That's right. We call it guess because it gets stuck in your teeth. That's the joke. Oh, shit. It melts on your tongue. You sick fuck. Guys, crazy moment of finding out all at once that cotton candy is called something different in other places and in other places is call it so pervasively that a local had to spend five seconds remembering the word for cotton candy. I had no idea it wasn't called that everywhere. Crazy. Yeah. That's like the biggest, most crazy one I've experienced in like many years. I thought I knew all the ones. Um, you say, uh, we have cotton candy to dunk gas and tell us more. What's what's England like with this shit? Well, uh, I'm very easily amused. So, uh, regular everywhere's an amusement park. If I try hard, no, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like a regular park will do me just fine. But, um, I haven't been to many and usually when I have, it's like been part of a school thing or like a family thing, but like, uh, hey kids, uh, since you've been good, you were going on a school trip to Thorpe park or Chessington world of adventures. I'm like clean. Sounds like work. Well, they sound like I know it's like, like, I feel like America is like a lot more densely packed with amusement parks because they're just not everywhere. I only, I only know those two. I only know those two. And then Lego land and then there's like a bunch of zoos and never knows six flags. You don't know about six. I know about it. It's got that the bull. I actually have a picture of 12 year old me posing with the dancing old man because I want Oh my God, which you have to put that. I don't remember, but I'll try to find it. It might be on my old, old Facebook account that I'll have to reactivate and dig through, but I'll, I'll fucking Why did they let him see into a theme park? He was, uh, it was working there. We all know that we work in amusement park. Please, please put, please put that on screen right now. By the way, if I find it, uh, by the way, uh, cool thing about Chessington world of adventures is that there it's the land is, uh, it has a literal castle on it, which is the I knew it. I knew it. You are castles. We have more castles than amusement parts. I'm, I'm, I'm pretty sure. So turning actual history into a, this whole fucking It's not history. It's not part of the park. It's just sort of on the hill and it's, uh, the people who own the land own the castle and we can sort of go up to it. But I don't think you can go in. I don't, I tried, but yeah. One of the two theme parks I, uh, they're always near me is sort of based around a history thing, but I'll get into that later teas for the future. You knock on the castle door. Where's my boss? So I ordered it in the area 35 minutes ago and I'm starting to get queasy. All right, folks, we've talked about the food, but I've got some insight for you because I famously worked for a summer at an amusement park. So let's talk a little bit about the rides. I want, yes. Finally, the main event. Let me ask you how much training do you think each 16 year old worker gets before operating this giant piece of machinery that they're responsible for the lives of all the people on it? Yeah. How much, how much training do you think I got before every ride? Like six months. There's a reason, there's a reason the most popular undergraduate degree in the world is amusement park ride operation. So, you know, good four years. Okay, are you a carny specifically? I want to believe that you were a carny clown. I thought you were a fortune teller. Maybe. I mean, I just operate the rides, but I did predict some future events. Okay. So how did it go down? So the way my amusement park worked, which I worked at Adventureland, which is in some city in Iowa, I forget the city, somewhere around Des Moines. They didn't want you to get bored at any one ride. So every single week, you would get trained for a different ride and then do that ride for the whole week and then move on to the next one. So by the end of the summer, I had pretty much operated every ride in the park, which is kind of cool because then I knew how they all worked. That sounds like a good idea, yeah. But like, you know, you work Monday through Sunday or whatever the fuck. And the Monday morning, they give you about five to 10 minutes, like telling you how to do the ride. And then that's it. And then you just like on your own for the whole week and you're like a fucking 16 or 17 year old kid. But not how many people died. Well, that's the thing. It's always fun because like you're 16 and there's no responsibility. So you can just like tell kids in line who are waiting like, you know, how many kids died in this ride yesterday, man. I just got done cleaning the blood off the seats, dude. Did you actually do that? Of course I did. Of course I did. You're not a carny unless you tell the kids that another kid died on the ride. I agree. I agree. Number one dream of life was become a carny. That's what we train day and night for. But something strange about it is that I guess amusement parks have like a weird thing with the child labor laws because like even if you're under 16, like 14 year olds were allowed to work like the restaurants and shit. What the fuck? Yeah, but the thing is like there was no restriction on how many hours. Like I was, I was a wee lad and I was working like 55 hours a week. I don't know. Maybe it's because it's like a seasonal job and like there's like a special thing with it. Yeah. But like I was there because the morning shift was five hours and the night shift was seven and I would just work both because why the fuck not? I drove all the way there. So I'd be working like, you know, 12 hour days, six days a week. Fuck. And I don't know why they're allowed to do that for people who are not adults. It's weird. That's a very good question. Y'all need to unionize. Y'all need to unionize. They need a leader. They need a union leadered, Mumkey. You're the man for the job. Oh yeah. Well, I think unions. I think Mumkey Jones instantly. Elliot Roger did nothing wrong. That's the platform. Fair. That's what he sounds like, dude. Yeah, and sweet. Mumkey Jones. See, I'm going to make a new Elliot Roger video. The cowards will eat it up. So, Mumkey, did you ever get mumbly? Like all the time? Did you ever get mumbly? Because that's the number one thing I think seem like, Mumkey. I'm thinking how many times do they think when they start a new day or a new week thinking, you know what? I'm going to clearly enunciate the instructions for this ride and how many times, how many loops can they go on before they give up and just be like, put your hands in the blah, blah, blah, blah, as everyone makes. Oh, I see what you're saying. No, I mean, it's like the same sense over and over again. It's not too hard. You know, there was one ride at a theme park where they had a fucking prerecorded thing by a professional. It was like, keep your hands in the seat at all times. Get ready for it. And I was like, holy shit, this is great. You can hear it perfectly. It's way more pleasant to listen to because it's with an actual microphone. And they got rid of it at some point and went back to the mumbly teenager. And I'm like, I don't blame them. This is a broken system. Why not use prerecordings? Dude, that was the best. Yeah, okay, go on much. Well, in California Adventure, which is like, like Disneyland is broken up into two parks, one is actually Disneyland, then there's like a sister park. It's like across the fucking like just like walk two seconds and then you get into another one. It's called California Adventure. And there's a ride that's called a Soren over California or something like that effect. And fucking, in fact, a David Putty from Seinfeld walks out and he's in this fucking snazzy pouts out, but he's like, it's me, David Putty fucking keep your fucking slut hands to yourself, bitch. And then he like slams the door in your face. And then you get like this cool, like fucking like like AMV of like a real life while you jam the fuck out and like live real life. Yeah, that's fantastic. It called, I don't know, some, you know, some generic like crazy scientist name. It's one of those like indoor rides that has all these crazy lighting effects. And it like spins you around a bunch. But like the, the line to the right is also indoors. And it's got like this TV is that played like this intro sequence. And it's got like several minutes of like intro of like world building for the scientists and where he built the invention and like what he did and how he did it and what it's all about and what the right is. And like, but you can't hear any of it because it's too crowded and loud. But I was like, dude, I know what you're saying. But like, I think I know what they're aspiring to when they do that, because like the best atmosphere of any ride I've ever been on was the Tower of Terror in Disney World, which has this grand buildup. You're in this hotel and they're like, oh, these are the guests. And they're like, oh, there's, there's been some rumors of like strange activity happening in this hotel. And like the line is so fucking long, like you get plenty of time to watch like the whole stories and unfolds on like the TVs around you. And the whole place is like decked out. There's, there's bell hops fucking each other in the corners and shit. The atmosphere, the atmosphere is perfect. And then it builds up and like the same voice that we use for the narrator is like, as you're finally on the ride and it lifts you up and you're like looking out at the park through the cracks and like the broken down walls of the hotel. It's like, goodbye. And then you go falling as the fucking ride kicks off. It's such a great atmospheric adventure guy that was so fucking great. Nate, Nate, Nate, two points on that. First of all, the Tower of Terror, literally the best ride up. They fucking removed it. They removed it from Disneyland. They got rid of it. You know, well, I don't know about Disney World, but I don't care about that because it's probably gay. Anyway, and fucking Disneyland, the Tower of Terror was like the coolest fucking thing ever. And it was like, it was in California Adventure because it was like, oh, fuck it, there's a California hotel and it's fucking cool. Who would think they could Twilight Zone ride and make it actually like cool? But you know what they removed? They fucking removed it. And it was like iconic. It was iconic. Everyone loved the Tower of Terror. It was fucking incredible. I forgot that. That makes it even better. Yes. Okay. But I will say, well, hold on, they removed it and they're placed it with a fucking Guardians of the Galaxy. It's Nate, Nate, you haven't seen either movie, so you don't get a groan first of all. But I know that Twilight Zone is one of the greatest cinematic masterpieces of the small screen of all time. I know that much. Isn't it the movie where Max Landis' dad killed two people in Cold Blood? I'm not talking about the Rod Sterling show. That's what I'm talking about. I know about no movie. I've got a rod that's Sterling for you. Okay. So as much as I love that, that's not my favorite ride of all time. Okay. My favorite ride of all time is in a little place you might have heard of called Tokyo Nippon. All right. And I rode this every single day. I rode this every single day of my life. And it's called the Subway System of Tokyo, Japan. Excellent. And so you get on this thing and they really create great atmosphere. There's all these slant-eyed actors looking at you. There's all these yellows. I appreciate the commitment to the character of these fucked up individuals. And like the little announcer, he's like, uh, Denwa, doors are now closing. You fat American fuck. I'm like, yeah, thanks, dude. I get it. And then I ride. I ride. I ride. And then I get off. And it was the greatest experience of my whole life. I did it every day. Several times a day. It was cheap as fuck. I wish I lived somewhere where there was subway. So I could do it again. I love subways. Subways are my favorite amusement park ride. That's what I'm saying. I like thrilling rides, Nate, but I like scarier rides. It's surrounded by all those ghouls and freaks. I might run a hard pound a little bit too fast there. I think you might be going a little bit too over the line there to my taste. That's understandable. What about escalator land? When do we get to the ride? This is the ride. Yippee. Incredible. Thank you. Thank you, Jimmy. Did anybody else think that show was called Fairy Godparents and not Fairly Odd Parents? I was playing a Nickelodeon trivia game and the question was like, what's the show with Timmy and I was like, oh, that's Fairy Godparents, dude. And I got it wrong because it was Fairly Odd Parents. Fairly Odd Parents. Fucking bullshit name. Did you guys see that they changed the theme song because they have a new female character who was sharing the Fairy Godparents with Timmy and it's fucking terrible? Okay. All right, Gib was saying something. What would you say, Gib? I was going to start talking about my favorite ride, which all the rides I've ever been on are probably worse than all American ones, just because, you know, I don't know, it's probably smaller, I assume. I assume everything in America is like 10 feet taller than everything in England. Yeah, that's right. People included as I've encountered. All right. Guys, we're going to get back to the whole thing of discussing everybody's favorite deep birds. Hey, in the middle of talking, I had to go do a thing for a minute and had to come back and re-announce myself. Fucking listen and explain yourself to the situation, Davoo. What the fuck? Why would you? Well, like, what'd you think we were doing while you were gone? What do you think we were doing? We were doing theme songs. I thought it was the theme of the topic. All right. You shouldn't open with like, like, whatever. Anyway, um, yeah, I love Davoo. Like, I've never been into roller coasters. They scare me, especially even the one at Legoland. Like, there's a one at Legoland where it's a green dragon, a green dragon. That's right! That's the one! Yeah, dude. It was the first one I ever made myself go on and I tensed up my whole body so that I basically like blacked out and I couldn't see and I died. But it was really cool. But later in my life, when I had glasses and I was at Thorpe Park for like, the end of school year, hey kids, we're taking you to the, we're taking you to a thing and everyone's like, yeah, it's cool. We're all friends and I'm like, oh, oh no, I don't have those. But this will be the moment, this will be the time in my life when I can have like the cool day out with everyone and become cool. And it was, it was all right. But I was too scared to go on the rides because I'd never really tried them and I hate it. So there was this one roller coaster where I was like, I got to do it with somebody. I got to do it at some point. I just got to do it. So I got onto this thing and it's one of those rides where you're like, your legs are dangling down below. And I got in, I was like fucking scared out of my mind and we were going. And then one of the guys on my left said, hey, hey, you didn't put your glasses away, you got your glasses on, you're just going to fall off. And I'm like, what? What? I didn't know that was going to happen. So frantically, I was just trying to like, I couldn't like you have the thing around your shoulders. My hands, my arms couldn't really quite reach round. But I could just about get my pinky finger wrapped around the rim of my glasses. And I was just holding on, I could feel it slipping off my face. And I was concentrating on that the whole time. And I was just scrunched up and like weird. And when we got through the end, I was just, I was so relieved that I managed to keep my glasses on, but then they had the picture come out with like, like, here's, here's you guys. Here's all these cool guys are like, screaming with a big mouth like exactly how you're supposed to look. And there's me like scrunched up, I suppose like, like a weird twisted dead bug holding onto my little glasses. A freak, a monster. Yeah, I look disgusting and nobody said anything, but I knew. I was like, Oh, I've been there, dude. I've been on those rides trying to hold on my, my various eyewares that I wear all the time. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that would be hard. You have to just duct tape them to your head. Yeah. Yeah. But that was cool. That got me okayed with with roller coasters. But I think the most fun I had was recently this summer. I went to one because you may know, I do like a yearly week with helping disabled kids. It's like a weekend, a week camp. I do that stuff. And it's about time Ben got that help that he needed. It's pretty rude that you call that a week camp for these week. It's a week long camp. And the occasion, one of the days we go out to a amusement park. And the last time I went, I think it was Chessington World of Adventures, like the only, the second, the only, like there's two in the whole of the UK. And we went to the second one. And there was like a virtual reality 3D headset ride that was super fast. And it was like planets exploding with a, with a like a Cortana lady saying, you're going through, we're going to warp speed now. And I'm like, oh my goodness. It was great. Because I didn't have to, I didn't have to look at the ground. I could just feel like I was going through space. Yeah. So that's good. I like that. It's interesting to see how VR gets worked more into riots as we as we move into our future. Because the whole point of like an amusement ride to begin with is to simulate the feeling of death. You know, that's what they're really for, to make you terrified your core and think, I'm about to die. And you get that dopamine rush to your brain, which we enjoy. So like if we could just do that sitting on our asses, you know, through VR, then yeah, the moment that we get that, it's gonna like the whole issue with theme parks is that people are slowly realizing that there's just not much fun to be had that you can't just have in your bedroom on the internet. Okay, I would say, I would say that that ride is the perfect and only good usage of a VR headset I've ever seen. Yeah, right. Because I was just flying through the air, you could feel the wind buffeting your whole body. And I mean, there's no wind in space. So how could that be true? But you know, we were all thinking that. Yeah. I think that it will always be okay, as long as human beings have physical bodies and are basically the same creature that we are now, which might not always be the case. But while we are something like an amusement park will always have a utility just for the sake of changing your surroundings. Sometimes, I mean, I spend all fucking day looking at my computer and working and shitting the exact same like three foot location at all times, either at home or at work, and to just deviate to divert from that for a time and go somewhere else and do something that's just out of the norm. God, it's feels good. God, I love it. There's things like I sort of joked earlier about like a normal park being just enough for me. I'm easily amused. But it's kind of true, like just a change of environment is really nice. And the thing with like actual parks is that there's not that many people in them. Amusement parks scare me with the huge crowds. I'm not good with the huge crowds. That's why you like about them. That's why I like. I have a lot of memories of getting separated from brothers or family members or friends and stuff. And not being the one with the map and being like, well, I mean, I'm just gonna die. I'm just gonna walk to dino land and jump into a mouth. Speaking of crowds, so there was one crowd related story. It's actually the opposite of kind of what you're saying. But there was one time when my family, we all went to Six Flags, New England in Springfield, Massachusetts. And so it was like the end of the day. I don't remember what day it was, but for whatever reason, it like wasn't a very full day. But at the very end of the day, as the place is closing down, it was like 6 p.m. or something. I think close is kind of early, whatever day that was. So we happened to be there and like nobody was there. And me and my dad were just like, you know what? We went on the Superman roller coaster, instantly one of the greatest roller coasters in the world. Everyone should ride it. It's super fun. That big dive at the very beginning. Yeah, super fun. But the point is, me and my dad went on it and we realized after we got out, okay, so we went early on the day. Then we came back. We're like, let's do it again before we leave for the end of the day. So we went at it again and we realized there's literally no line. Let's just do it again. And so we did it again three full times over and over again on this roller coaster. Well, I'm sure the people running it rolled their eyes. They're like, oh, look at these. Look at these cool customers riding the same ride a million times. But fuck them. Me and my dad had so much fun on that ride. It was fucking fantastic. I love Superman and that roller coaster. It was great. So crowds can get fucked. I hope everyone dies. Please, ISIS. I've got a couple of targets for you mapped out on my map here. So it's a place where a lot of people gather. You can just clear them out for me. We'd all, it'd be very convenient for me. Let's make that happen. Ride a roller coaster three times is a pretty good exchange for not having locks on your doors, I would say. Fair bargain. Fair bargain. What are you, what are you getting at? I don't understand. I'm not getting at anything. Oh, okay. All right. We're gonna say our favorite T-Tarks. Oh, okay. Let's do that. But yeah, good. What do you say? I forgot to mention the reason I brought up the, like, thing with the, not that, not that, the reason I brought up the disabled kids thing was because I had to go on the ride with them. Otherwise, you know, I'm a helper. I can't, that's the reason. How is that? I mean, they were fine. The person I was with, they had a blast. Could you imagine being so retarded you can't sit down and get buckled in? I can imagine. I don't think those kids didn't. But there was like, well, just like, it's hard to deal with like kids, you know, and like people who are retarded literally mean slow. So they're, you know, they're like deal with kids. Yeah, but you go fast because they're on the ride. Yes. That's true. You win. We're bringing them up to speed, baby. Oh, yes. I don't have a favorite theme park, by the way, because I'm gay. No, wait, Legoland. That's the one. You do it. You do Legoland because. I also, it's a toss up between Legoland and Disneyland for me. I also love, you know, studios. My least favorite is by far SeaWorld, super fucking boring, and they don't actually let you get to see them torture the animals. They do it behind the scenes. They don't like you to see it. Ever since they stopped murdering Shamu for our enjoyment, that place has really gone down. I want to see blood in the fucking water. She deserves it. Oh, but it always upsets me. It's like, I would always like think like, SeaWorld, water, slidden bond, water pork vlog. So I want to go there to like. Yeah. All right. We haven't even got to water parks. That's going to be whole part of this podcast. We'll get Psy on here. Yeah, we got it. I would always want to go there to get wet, but then I would like, there's like no wet, it's like you need kind of wet, like Shamu can like splash you, but like, I don't know. I want to get dripping. I want to get sloppy. I want to get mushy. That's what I want, but I couldn't do it. I mean, I wouldn't think of SeaWorld as a water park. I think of it as like a fucking aquarium. Yeah, it's pretty much an aquarium with a couple. I don't know. I don't know. I want to see the fuck. Guys, just, just okay. Everybody, everybody. All right. Take it. Take a journey with me, everybody. Okay. Just, just close your eyes. Just close your eyes and think back to when you were like 14 years old. It's the summertime. The sun's beaten down. That was like 10 days ago from Munch. I know. You're on a class trip, everybody. You're on a class trip. You're wearing your swim trunks. You got your T-shirt on. You're going on rides. You're checking out your 14 year old classmates with their burgeoning titties. You know, you're looking at what they got. They're almost there. You're hanging out with all your friends. It's nice and warm. You're getting the fucking ice cream from the, from the vendors. You're going on rides and shit, getting dipping dots. You're spilling them everywhere, but it doesn't matter because you just go, you're, because you just fucking go in the lazy river and you chill with your buddies and you hang out there for an hour as you just lazily drift. It's the most fun you've ever had in your fucking life. Oh, okay. This is what I'm getting at. Water parks are the greatest thing in the world. I love water parks intensely. They are my favorite. I love the lazy river. I was born in a lazy river and one day I will die there. That's my destiny. I do, I do like those, but I never like water parks purely because I got to wear a swimsuit and I can't wear a shirt and it's like, um, I'm embarrassed about my gross body. That's not, it's not cool enough. Just wear a surfershirt. Just wear a surfershirt. You can get it though and it won't be weird. What the fuck is that? We're an under armor compressing shirt to shape your muscles. Yeah, but I feel like, you know, people are gonna know like, uh, he's trying to hide something. Dude, okay. Your problem is you give a shit. Fuck him. Yeah. You're there. You're there to check out 14 year old tits. You're not there to impress me, buddy. You know what? I'll go there today. Yes. I think if Ben St. has the courage to go outside, we should all have the courage to be naked in public. I agree. Oh, naked indeed. Yeah. Water parks are great. There's a water park that's like near my house that's like local and there's this giant ride that's like, um, I think it's called, uh, literally the toilet. And what you do is you just, uh, like walk up to like the top of this very huge, just like, imagine just like a funnel and that is the, that is the rise. You walk up, it's like slanted. It's like slanted. So like what you do is you just get up the top of this like thing and you're getting this like a little like, it's kind of like the lazy river, just kind of like a donut that you sit your ass in. And then what happens is you like, I don't know if I can draw this diagram, but just like, imagine like you, uh, get like pushed, you get fucking shoved and then, uh, you keep going down like, like, like you ride the, uh, the water wave spiral. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do a spiral in the funnel and it's like straight down. It's, it's, it's like sideways. So you're going up and you're defying fucking gravity and going upside down on this fucking tunnel until you finally get like spit out and you get fucking like destroyed. Just think about like the bizarre engineering work that we've done to make these like strange death machines just to make ourselves have fun for a little while. It's so cool. I love it. Like the idea of making amusement park rides. It's so, it's so like retarded, but it's the coolest thing ever. It's the best. Actually, I actually realized, I actually do have a favorite amusement park ride, which is, um, I don't remember what it's called, the, the tint turning thing. It's one of those ones where you're in a giant coffee cup and it spins and it sucks you into the wall. Yeah, it's like the silly silo where it spins in a circle and you stick to the wall and the floor drops. Yeah. Okay. Okay. One of the theme parks I live near, they have one it's like that's one of the ones that like goes way up and it goes sideways and stuff, but, uh, that one's fine, but they have this other really old one. I wouldn't be surprised if it was gone. If I went there again, it feels very 70s, right? It's got like carpet and stuff, even though it's outside. And, uh, it's just so tucked out of the way where like people don't notice it. So it's very just unpopular, which means there's almost never a line. I always get to go right in there. So because of that experience and the aesthetic of it, that makes it my favorite ride because it consistently doesn't have a line to wait through. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's great. Accessibility and like, isn't that a great experience to like find this great ride that other people just don't know about? And you've got, there's just, there's something about this that is so linked with like my happiest childhood memories, everything having to do with amusement parks. It just makes me happy to think about. It's just such a joy. Such a joy. I love these. This is like the one thing that I like about children or that like things are made for children. Other than their bodies. Other than their bodies, other than their sexy ass blooming bodies. Portrait of the World, give me a call. Every single one. Snatchett and Nate Bestman. All right. I'll send you a snap ad right after this podcast, Nate. Oh yeah. Okay. Sounds good. Sounds good. Guys, yeah, fuck Disney World. I know what the best amusement park is. What's that? Motherfucking thrill build, baby. Hey, oh, look at thrill build go. Here comes PS2's hero. You can go, you can go flirt with a fucking 12-year-old kid. It's fun. Yeah. You don't get arrested for it. I do in real life all the time, dude. Well, that's legal for you. Some of us get arrested for that. Yeah. Thrill build, you think a ride's dumb? You fucking get rid of that shit and build a new one. It's easy. It's fucking easy. You don't even want to finish the roller coaster. You just want to say, fucking, let it crash. You can do that. It's fun. Does that hurt your morale for the workers? Well, it probably helps the work of morale, but it depresses, you know, total earnings. Well, the janitors don't like it because they have a lot of blood and guts to clean up, but everybody else enjoys it because the kids are dead. We should ride on thrill build. Yeah. Billy Johnson, he's a 12-year-old boy. I ride him a lot. Hey, look at pedophiles go. Here they come. Jail's hero. Does anybody have similar stories to this? So I've had a couple of incidents that happened like this, but basically what I'm talking about is like, so there's this Batman ride or it was like a Nightwing ride. It probably has changed since I was last there at Six Flags. So it's this thing where you, it's like, it's like a spinny circle that just lifts in the air and then you kind of like fly. You lie down like on your stomach, you get kind of squished into this thing and you hold on to the bars and then it just like spins you like towards your face like you're flying like Superman. So actually it should have been called the Superman ride. I don't know why it's called the Batman ride. But anyway, so like we get in there and like the ride starts and we all like get into position and then the ride like shuts down. Like it gets stuck like that. So I was there for probably like 45 minutes until like they pride me out of there and I've had situations where I'm like at the top of a roller coaster like about to go down it and then the ride like gets stuck and then you're stuck there. So how many I don't want to get broken now. That's never happened. Actually you know what, I've been on ones that get stuck and then like someone climbs up and fixes a thing but only for a few minutes. See it's at those kinds of moments that you realize how stupid it is to even be doing this in the first place and how like an amusement park ride is not what man was meant to do with the physical form. I know one roller coaster that has like these like stairs at like the top of the initial peak. The initial peak that gets you going up. There's these little like you know steel steps but like you have to go up you have to like I actually saw it once a maintenance worker has to get on the ride then stop the roller coaster before it goes down the peak and he steps off and then he goes on those little steppy things and I'm like whoa that's a cool-ass perilous place to work to like do your job. I do have a similar I do have a somewhat I have a very just just a frustrating shitty gay experience which was this one log flume that has like the longest line in the fucking world and it's a 45 second ride like one second of ride is one minute of line and it closed when we were like three people away from getting on. Oh god damn it I've had that happen to me too it's the worst. Yeah I was like why the fuck don't they put a giant stop sign on the beginning of the line 45 minutes before closing. That is such a easy problem to solve. You just stop people from getting in line as opposed to stopping them when it's time to shut it down. It's so easy to do but they just don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. They're going to ruin children's lives. My favorite ride is probably the Simpsons ride for the incredible atmospheric vibe that I get just being in line. Just like the aesthetics match the gameplay wholeheartedly. Just when you hear that you'd hear that that voice coming over the PA Homer what are those monsters doing over there I don't understand no those are those are the fireous skeletons. That is not a good moe impression at all. It's not moe. So uh yeah actually like the second part of the ride where it gets to like so let's say some gangster steps to your fly girl you just did it. A cute shotgun blast. The Simpsons ride is legitimately fucking sick it's sick as fuck it's fucking LOL it makes me laugh so fucking hard and uh like like I don't even like the ride it's like the line of the ride because we are in line to go to the ride you have to wait like 45 minutes and then you just like you just like blast Simpsons Ebb nose into your redneck and then it's like like a behind the scenes like lore about how like like that one fucking funny yellow guy who wants to get into Simpsons and then you can just see him do the funny fucking scheme on the TV. That's actually great that's actually great when they put effort into like the setup leading to the ride itself that's yeah it's good like like the uh like the fucking uh Twilight Zone ride yeah it's the best Legoland Legoland uh foam bionicle sword uh the I love that I know I have that exact one I know exactly what I'm talking about I love the bionicle fucking shit it's the coolest shot Legoland is like the only place that deserves to have a gift shop hey uh hippo I'm assuming you you you didn't go to the one in California right no no I feel like they're the same everywhere I went to Legoland Windsor oh okay okay um they're probably the same anywhere uh yeah um um oh my fuck did you get your driver's license at Legoland did you get your fucking yeah yeah dude what the fuck is that it's stupid driving cars dude they tell you don't bum people but you totally do it I actually I actually remember a time when there was an old lady just in there I was like what the fuck are you doing I guess she was like looking over after a kid who's also in there so I attacked her I just you see weak blood and you go for it oh that's good and she wasn't over grandma this is the youth's ride now yeah so that that was sick um you went full uh clockwork orange at that moment you just went full monster mode yeah yeah uh Legoland is is is cool because you know the rides are all right but the the main thing is that every every thing is made of Legos yes the stalls the signs the no no like really like I don't believe you they're made of Legos because they're all right uh there's like huge Lego statues that are made by having like like a metal frame I've seen it not been done at the place but I know how they do it they get Lego and they super glue it together so it's just perfectly forever going to be like literally a statue and they do it for fucking everything in the place like even the plants some of the plants are made of Legos like yeah I I feel I feel like playing Minecraft right now I love it you're telling me on Legoland did you have did you have like the dinosaur fossil ride oh I I mean I the version of Legoland I went to may be different from yours because of our age difference oh I don't know I haven't been in a long time but oh well yeah yeah like like there's one for me where it's like uh like like like while you were online you could like you could like there's like a sand pit and you could like get like a cool thing you just like a pickaxe you could like get like fossil like Lego fossils in the sand while you fucking while you were in line holy shit yeah that's a great level that sounds great and and then when you get up you gotta like climb some like stairs and then like the guy working it for me was always like it's fucking me it's a fucking Legoland pays me $100 I'm the coolest big dick motherfucker you'll ever see I was like can can you say the funny stuff was like it's like it's the funny stuff was like I was like oh my god thank you and then they pushed me and he fucking got me on that shit and I ran I saw a dinosaur they were made out of Lego they're all made out of Lego I think there was a dinosaur land area it's it's just it's it was just marvelous to just think like I have Legos at home I can make a thing about as big as a football if I really tried but these these guys have so much Lego bricks that I'm very jealous of the amount that they can use to build a literal size life-size dinosaur to block my path and kill me in my sleep I love it dude that one green dragon ride you were talking about it was my favorite fucking thing that was the first time I ever did an accidental kegel exercise that that was the first time I did a kegel it wasn't even on my own volition but but I did it I did that was the first time I ever did a kegel and it was fucking crazy I'm doing my kegels right now I do it every pcp yeah dude same bro be trained up dude gotta be trained up gotta be toned now of course there's there's all the kid's shit you know there's the baby Lego place duplo disgusting never been but uh what I always liked like as I got older like we I went a couple times like a number of times and as I got older I see I appreciated more and more the miniature village made out of Lego which is like the huge like big like a million things like tiny little little Lego people and Lego cars some of which I'm gonna come and and and I think uh I remember in Windsor they did have like a Lego big Ben you know like like landmarks like like really impressive huge things I'm like I'm walk I'm I'm a giant right now but this is Lego and so small but it's like it's like big but I'm small and it's like it's the coolest fucking shit I've ever seen dude I mean the the land of fucking the like the like mini land was so fucking cool first okay okay but also okay you know okay I don't think you're gonna have this because it's like I remember this being like a new thing that like while I was going to legal and this was like a new thing that like they just came out with there like the CEOs like like like John lego was in his fucking CEO board and it was like you know what would make lego land even better if it was a water park too and so the water is made of lego so they opened up like a new area it was like pirate themed and you go in and there was there was like a lazy a lazy river and like and like the fucking like thing was like you eat like okay the like the tube you get in there was like it was like just normal rubber but then there was like parts of the thing that you could stick your own lego's onto and just like build while you were inside of the lazy river and then and then there was this ride where you could like get on the fucking cool ass fucking side and there's one where you can like ride a pirate ship and shoot fucking water at people okay oh I have that I remember that bit so it's like this okay okay there's there's like a little like pool area where people just are like on you know pirate ships and they can just you know shoot other people but then also but also it's like right next there's like a sidewalk like there's like a pathway that's like right up next to the pool and there's like guns on the sidewalk so if you're just like a walking by you're not even on the ride you can shoot the people on the ride just like a second or two and just fucking ruin them you can just rape them you can just fucking kill them and it's fucking sick and I love the land I love like oh I like to see the fun you fucking lego it's great let's go to questions everybody okay first question I fucking got you I memed you all so hard okay all right go on I have I have one more thing to say and then I'm done saying things I remembered during the course of this that there was a very more more of a quaint theme park on the Isle of Wight which is like an island just to the south of England just just for no black people right I understand okay yeah well white with a whatever bitch it's a tiny little island and it has this tiny theme park which is based on what the Isle of Wight is known for it's like known for smuggling because it's like a good place for pirates to smuggle and it's called black gang shine if anybody in the audience has been to black gang shine it's so fucking cool it's it's it's a place my dad used to go for every holiday he and his family would go to black gang shine and he brought me and my brothers to there and now there's like a like a it's like a our family heirloom is that theme park is great and if I get an image there's a giant shine you said yeah chime like chine oh okay okay yeah um and it's pirate smuggler themed and it's just it's so cool there's a giant pirate uh smuggler a statue at the entrance and it's it's not like the biggest smugglers that's awesome yeah it's it's I just have a lot of fond memories of it there's like this western town area and and there's and a dinosaur place it's not like the greatest place ever but smugglers are well known for smuggling dinosaurs in and out of this island oh and there was this one thing oh oh it's so scary it was like a trick mirror thing there was a little castle area and you go in there and there's this this beautiful lady behind the glass and she's like you listen to the audio playing it's like I'm a lady I'm normal I'm not evil and then uh after after like five minutes of speaking there's suddenly a scary music plays boom and then there's like a mirror trickery thing where it she physically looks like she turns into a monster but it's like because she's reflected from a mirror and you can't see the mirror as you're looking through the window so I thought like she's literally like an actual demon suddenly and I jumped and I pissed my pants and I ran away but I love that so much I hope it's still there I want to go back there when I have kids and show them and show them all the piss their pants and die yeah I love that place so much if anybody knows that place great that's the coolest fuck yeah um I have a few more points here as well I mean I could go out about theme parks all day I have tons of memories from them but just you know the most important thing I just want to comment on uh the like the restaurants and amusement parks are like usually shit but like one of the best restaurants I've ever been to and and people will test this because it's super fucking expensive is the blue bayou at Disneyland do they have equivalent of the blue bayou at Disney World they do you know what that is it doesn't it doesn't ring a bell I'm not sure I'm not sure okay uh you all know the price of the Caribbean ride right it's like of course yeah yeah it's it's a uh you know you are on a boat and sort of like a slow river there's a little bit of uh dips and ups but it's really just kind of like a an atmospheric uh New Orleans sort of like a swamp setting but inside of this right like imagine and imagine the right as a like a circle that's like pretty big in the middle in the middle behind the trees of the ride behind like the props of the ride there is a fucking super ass smug ass like anime expert rooftop soiree tiered like fucking like fancy like Louisiana fancy restaurant inside of the ride and you can see all the cool fucking like pirates and all like the cool like like ride people taking the ride while you're eating these fucking like million dollar steaks and like all like Obama was there I think it's fucking crazy it's so fucking cool it's in the middle of a right what what other place what other place what other restaurant is good and inside of a ride perfect props for that that's pretty amazing it's fucking sick I love it oh by the way I mentioned world building yeah yeah exactly I should mention I'm going to Disneyland on the 23rd uh oh my god yeah for my birthday party oh fuck yeah if you want to meet up with munchie too bad because this came out the day after get hey oh look at donkey go you said it might do oh one last thing uh while it's not uh now while it's not exactly an amusement park I went to the Nickelodeon hotel in Florida uh when I was a wee baby hey I did that too really that's where we that's where we stayed uh during our thing I think our our thing yeah I might be confusing things up whatever let's let's make the pcp hq at the Nickelodeon hotel please that's a good idea yeah suits our works assigned to sealed and uh the check is in the mail from obama to us for endorsing his hotel chain yes yeah good um um so yeah so I went there and uh I just know his name is full name is obama hussain slime uh obama yeah name big Nickelodeon slime guy yeah okay yeah uh excellent the reason he's so into slime is because black people are so untrustworthy and slimy that you know he just takes some slime off from their like body like like just carved some off and like puts on his meals anyway so like while I was at the Nickelodeon hotel there was like this big sort of like a like like sort of like mini water parks sort of like slide apparatus where you could get slimed in the water you know the important thing is uh it was uh Miami or around there at least and uh there was like a there was about to be a thunder like storm and also probably hurricane that was like like about to destroy as they're like you should go inside probably and not be where the lightning is it was the first time I ever played a battlefront two and that was also the first trip where I uh like like well in Florida slightly off topic but uh I uh I saw an alligator for the first time I was like this is my favorite thing ever and I also got really sick because I touched one and it was like a poison what if an alligator was also investigating something yeah oh look at don't you go here you come in my neck and I'm a Kangabunga hero don't you go let's go let's go do we have a which which prostitute would you rather fuck at the Nickelodeon hotel as told by ginger or Jenny the robot from my life as a teenage robot Jenny the robot obviously I was just the her it amuses me how much her popularity has exploded via porn after the show ended uh dill pickles yeah I would fuck the main storm I don't think dill pickles is a fucking prostitute neither is Jenny she's a classy young lady god damn it one year old baby oh you know not all grown up at all grown up he's he's available and all grown up he's in a obnoxious 10 year old piece of shit yes oh oh dude he's not one he's just 10 he's just fine well I mean I mean that's better right I would rather fuck a 10 year old than a one year old baby wait okay serious question would it be better to fuck a one year old or a 10 year old for their sake because if they're one they might not remember getting fucked but if they're 10 you could fuck them up you can't fit your dick in a baby yeah I can find a way my I mean not me it's not me oh no there goes my hero threes baby there is it wait let me test it let's see if it's 20 the fourth time look at donkey go no nobody left okay before the recording started you were talking about the idea of having a soundboard for the pcb that you're in control of I would absolutely love a there goes our monetization sound that would be that is a great idea that's unfortunate I have anything to say about fairs since they're kind of related no I want to go to quest I mean okay cool I talked about that we could stretch that out to a whole other pcb yeah yeah press one if you want to hear an old pcb fair carnivals festivals and festivals that will be just all the places where clowns and they're ill congregate I'll just meet up sort of only me I'll invite my special guest the Japanese juggalo piece the undertiler was on this one that's an excellent idea okay all right here we go to questions everybody uh so here's one from twitter uh we got amazing you guys literally just didn't even get to me I had a lot to say fuck me I guess we can't fucking agree no why don't you interrupt my question or something I guess uh I mean uh well the thing is really it's more like I thought that this podcast was going to go in a totally different direction I thought we were going to be talking more about the niche more analysis since ended up just being a bunch of memories so I guess it's yeah I have a lot to say about this not a fucking anime for children you can't analyze no you know who is is a is a is a is a um uh the designer of roller coasters you know right exactly true I'm I'm going on forever I can talk about the roller coasters forever so yeah I can go as long as we want yeah so fucking you know if I was at a theme park uh the um the like the board meeting when they talk about how they're going to invent theme parks right just the origin of theme parks I would like board meeting sounds like a cool fun meeting if you yeah and I would put down my I would have put down my papers I would have put down my papers and like adjusted my bifocals and looked at the guy making a pitch for theme parks I mean like well if people are going to be standing around for like three hours a day in lines and this idea is not going to work come up with something else you know because that's what I always feel like when I'm in a line at the theme park where I'm like this whole idea like as much fun as I've had at theme parks I feel like my experience with them has been weirdly mixed and that like I just feel like the whole idea like just doesn't really work yet we really need to live in like a post-singularity post-scarcity society before theme parks can really work what are you talking about they're economically viable right now right I would assume they don't want to question this is a different topic you can't get away that easy like like like lines are long but what is what are you what are you gonna what are you gonna do about it huh yeah what is your actual like you buy a fast pass for a hundred bucks yeah exactly just go in the exit and get right in the right or if you're with a disabled person you go right to the front yeah I abuse so many disabilities while I was at Disneyland I abuse so many my fucking my my my my my crack smoking uncle is like dude like one time I was shot on the arm I don't have an arm anymore so like give me some tickets bro and they're like okay and then I fucking I stole them from him and I did all the rides very fast oh there you go I'm like paying it forward because I've only been to like two theme parks really because there's only really two that are near me and my parents are like why go to other ones so I've been to those two so many times that I feel like I've sort of like I'm sort of like the the illusion sort of breaks right so I get more of a cynical view I really want to go to other theme parks once in a while and like do that yeah but like there's this one called worlds of fun which is like themed after the world so it's like different areas of different countries well I'm bored like is it like I don't know it's like China area a fucking yeah okay it's the most boring bog standard theming ever and you don't even notice it because it's not even thick enough it's like it's such a subtle theme you don't notice it and it's boring and stupid and like and like my my parents which is mostly most of the time we've gone to theme parks with my parents they're just really bad at having fun they like they don't understand how to have fun like they don't like to um they don't like to fork over the excess of money for food so they always like pack lunches and like that's so not fun god damn it I don't I came here to waste money god yeah exactly they always like walk back to the car because you didn't want my dad does that yeah and I'm like why this is so fucking stupid like what if you don't want to waste money I would rather have like a yummy turkey sandwich that my mom made than a eight dollars and fifty cents fucking hot dog well I think with that it's like uh sandwiches and stuff it's it's always like kind of gooey and gross because it's been in a hot car or whatever you know like yeah it's not my dad always put the cooler and you got a cool packs in it and shit you know so yeah yeah you know you can do it well both ways but yeah it's like it's like all the inconvenience of camping being like crowbarred into an already expensive experience of going with theme park but yeah like that that's really the big issue for me is I never want to feel like I have enough money to spend and it always feels like it just feels like it's constantly fighting me to spend more money so that in combination with lines in combination with going to the same two theme parks forever like the other theme park we have which is like four hours away is called a silver dollar city which actually has a theme right they have like an aesthetic which is like old time in America right so like 1800s right because it was all based around a cave because Missouri has a lot of caves apparently so these people like owned the cave back in the fifties and they started showing the cave off and selling tickets to it and eventually they started like having attractions on the line leading up to the cave and people ended up just watching the attractions so then they started building restaurants and then they started building rides and so eventually it became a theme park all around a cave right but it all was extrapolated off of the aesthetic of you know the uh the uh the uh the homesteading americans who found the cave right and also the indians who also found the cave by way of falling into it while fighting a bear according to the guy guiding us through the cave like how the who the fuck reported on that story I don't know also when we descend into the cave on their man-made staircase they play the theme of the empire from star wars the dumb bum bum bum bum bum I'm like whoa but yeah it's a really boy that specifically I know right well it's cool because you're going into this big cave you know yeah um but like it's a cool theme park because it has all one like tone one setting and it's very consistent you know everything feels like old-timey america the rides are like um you know the uh fire in the hole which is like an indoor roller coaster all about fighting fires before we had like hoses and shit so it's really terrifying you know and like they've got like um I don't know what's it like uh like like a tnt themed roller coaster and so much shit like that and uh you know it's also christian too like I think like christians on it so sometimes they're gonna be like they're gonna be like some christian like they're gonna be like some country singers at one of the uh little theater places the most part of the country thing possible yeah yeah and like they can like incorporate god stuff and it doesn't break immersion because it's old-timey america right so it like works right um I don't know where I was going with this but like oh yeah they even have a you know they have a haunted house but it's themed after you know like an old-timey mansion and it's really cool with like a it's got a room where everything is like 25 degrees tilted and it's the coolest possible experience of life yeah is it built on an ancient in a native american burial oh it should be man they should like expand like find an age of american burial ground go there before that yeah let all the engine spirits out okay you're right sorry I like theme parks I just I just it's just like the last couple times we went to one it was just we weren't in the mood to do a vacation you know like it's just it's hard to get me in the mood to vacation you know it's just like uh theme parks are hard with like a family of various different ages particularly when my sister was very small because it's like she couldn't go on any rides and my parents were too old to care to go on rides and it was like this sucks right I need to go with just my friends and my girlfriend which I could probably afford to do now I I've never been to a theme park by myself but I feel like I would enjoy it a lot because of the because of the the freedom to just not do anything if I don't feel like it yeah like every every time you're with a person you're like uh are you having fun do you want to do this I guess we'll do this uh what about you huh uh who's hungry let's go get food I don't I'm not hungry well I mean you're a kid so you got to come with us well you know uh I do like going if you can go with like someone that you you know like just like a good friend who vibes with you well one person or two people like if I went with any of you guys I'm sure we would have a good time because we don't give a fuck about what the other person thinks you just tell me if you're having a problem or something and then you know we'll immediately fix it as opposed to like a you know a friend you don't know as well who just acts cagey and won't be upfront about what they want to do or whatever you know that's bullshit I treat amusement parks a lot like conventions as I described in the convention pockets where it's just a very this is they're much better than convention in the way it's just a cool way to hang out with your friends and if you invite your buddy it's a cool time and just to do uh things that you might die on and it makes you feel like more like brothers also devu uh once pcbhq happens I will take you specifically to an amusement park and we will go together yeah I realized like yeah going with the pcbhq would be great because you guys because even my offline friends who I've had throughout my life and gone to theme parks with aren't good at having fun either and my favorite thing about being in the pcbhq is you like there's enough people who are good at having fun I could just coast on it and have a great time so we uh yeah I'd love to do redcon3 should just be at a theme park hey yeah but by the way I just wanted to say uh you mentioned Christian themes and I just wanted to mention uh one of the most one of the most thrilling experiences I had at one of these uh amusement type place was at the creationist museum where uh they there's a uh so there's like an arc ride where you can just go walk on a life-size recreation of Noah's Ark uh that's what he actually wrote on I didn't do that but they did give us the real scoop uh there was a whole you know walk-through place where they did educate us on what really went down so just so everybody knows dinosaurs were on the arc they were there they just died off unrelatedly afterward that's just so you know that's how it went down I've been worried about that because I want to know if the Legoland uh ride looked at any parts about Jesus or Noah's Ark yeah there you go oh uh Nate uh creation museum did they have like a live reenactment of a monkey not turning into a human racism yes uh it was it was grand how dare you yeah by the way it's just mean that you that you say a museum as a theme park because I would also do that for there there's a there's like a like there is an actual real there's an actual real like united states navy like battleship turn museum because it's so fucking old called the United States midway and uh it's it's it's docked here permanently in San Diego it's like in a museum now and you walk in you can walk out through all the the corridors of the ship and then there's like there is this one you can like snack and stuff too and there's just one like ride I would call it where it's like uh you get in this sort of like fire you out of the fucking cannon yeah exactly um they like stuff you into like this like little like almost like bus-sized uh like virtual reality like shuttle and it's just like uh let's pretend if you know what would happen if you guys were on world war two what would happen then let's make like this movie about uh like like you know it's like a virtual reality ride where the uh bus like turns and like twists uh like like uh for the twists and turns you make within like the video if you what I'm saying like it doesn't actually go anywhere it just like simulates what it would be like if you were making those turns and that was fucking cool I got to see a lot of people die I got to see a lot of Japanese people get kicked the fucking bucket and was great hell yeah when I when I was a wee lad in the in the Boy Scouts um me and my mom went to weekend we spent a weekend on the uh like on a battleship just like staying there for like a weekend of fun and adventure and stuff and it was like one of the most fun weekends of my entire life but so that aside I did want to say another thing that Davoo mentioned to me was he mentioned a specific line and it was attractions while you're in line and that just got me thinking about wouldn't it be great if Lee if prostitution was legal and they just had actual horrors okay just just follow me here for a second okay like imagine you're in the world right you're at Disney world and you're in line prostitute and they got they got Disney princesses just just they're horrors and they will fuck you and like you can fuck Rapunzel who I want to remind everyone is canonically 18 so even though she looks like she's 14 she is in fact 18 so uh I would just just uh wouldn't that be a great attraction huh when you're in line would that be great everybody right my final feeling on theme parks right I mean by the way yes totally I hope you're bouncing off my idea but go on yeah well I mean it's part of it which is that I want theme parks to just be several orders of magnitude like more extravagant than they are again post singularity post scarcity economy is like because I because I know like Walt Disney had way more fucking like ambitions to food is weird utilitarianism here we go yeah this isn't about getting there it's about how cool it would be when we are there and it's about cool shit not like resources not like fucking mining oil from titan it's about having theme parks right uh huh yeah but like yeah you know like Disney himself had so many more ambitions as to what he wanted like Disney world and Epcot to be he wanted them to be like actual city and shit because people keep conceptualizing like like like like cities that are just like these little tiny areas where you walk around and you could just do everything that humans want to do and it's really tight concise video gamey way that's what theme parks are ultimately trying to do is make video games irl that's right you know and we just they just need you know what I really want I want a theme park that is like a giant thrift store slash antique shop right because my favorite thing about those like tap those little stores is that they are often built out of like buildings that are not meant to be stores and they have all these weird rooms that like no one is in and I love that and I just want to have like a giant mansion that has rides in it like that one weird mansion that's like in California or whatever built by a crazy woman or whatever over the course of 30 years and you could explore this mansion and go around in all these weird rooms oh I know that you're talking about yeah if I'm ever in California for long enough in the right part of California because I know it's like the size of a fucking European nation uh California I would love to visit that place because like the thing about theme park dude hit me up and we'll go dude yeah because like because like theme parks are cool because you conceptualize yourself going on in this adventure but when you go there it's like everyone's there it's like being in a fucking auditorium I love I'd love to have a an incredibly huge mansion with so many rooms that some of which some people don't even know about and you just walk around I would absolutely I would pay $500 a year for a season pass to a mansion it's so huge that you could find your own hallways and like no one will ever be there and you could like jack off did I mention that I worked at in Newport Rhode Island doing like tours of of like the the great Newport mansions that are like gigantic yeah they're like they're like actual palaces just based on capitalism not aristocracy but it's pretty great pretty much pretty much incredible incredible by the way they were simply divine and shout out by the way to the great American mall in Minneapolis Minnesota that I visited uh some time earlier was that this year I can't remember um but uh that was just a big ol it's a big ol amusement park inside a mall in like the center of the mall yeah what did I say great American mall whatever it's one of those things I thought it was that by the way I should have mentioned this earlier by the way Nate you said you played the clarinet and you got to go to D land for like being in the bay oh my god he was the bumper bull episode of fucking spongebob oh my god whoa anyway the reason I say that Nate is because I also played the clarinet in band and I got to go to Disneyland for being in band so I live the exact same life that you did which is weird the munchie is a spongebob and Nate is a Squidward so you wouldn't think they would both play clarinet I like to be thinking myself as a Mr. Krabs racist and capitalist yeah just looking to to juice the world how's Mr. Krabs a racist when he has a mixed race daughter uh well he's not racing against that race just very particular one he fucked the whale as a meme it was a meme so yeah it was ironic I think he all fucked the whale in college he is ironically raising his daughter yeah listen I'm not here I'm not here to profile someone but can't you just imagine Mr. Krabs in a maga hat can you just imagine him oh see him it would be a part of the shine yeah that's true yeah exactly question on Twitter from yeah okay okay that's your Q Nate oh that that's a Q I thought you were actually reading it okay uh all right here we go everybody uh question what's the one I was going to read before where did that go oh here we go okay this is from uh at lord light skin well light skin everybody um uh kind of skin to have that's what they say uh so tbc rascinators uh how would you want the world to end how would you want the world to end there's a lot of possibilities that are that are quite alluring um I'd like I'd like water to come up and then everyone to be in boats and then everyone to become pirates hell yeah yeah so that's kind of like a positive like the world just changes kind of world ending because I was thinking like the world literally explodes yeah by a meteor but I like you're better I like that well yeah because people still live whatever it is I want it to be Trump's fault because that'd be like the funniest scenario possible dude that would be so funny right wouldn't the liberals be super smug about that though and they'd be yeah no they'd be funny but they'd be smug and I hate smug liberals they're the most annoying people in the world well yeah yeah but I have a funny hat so I win fuck yeah dude I think I gotta go with meteor to the planet maybe I'm just thinking too much of final fantasy seven but like I've always I've just got such a it would look so cool if I could see it if I could see that happening oh that's just for that reason alone you know just the whole explain it literally maybe I'm thinking too much of final fantasy seven is the quote of your life is it not you're right dude you are damn right I would like to think too much of homestuck when you said that yeah yep oh jeez that there wasn't even a dramatic planet explosion in fucking homestack really but a big rocks are falling yeah I like I remember meteors falling but the planet never blew up it was never like that it was it was on a thread of being blown up for a while that's true that's true I think I think it did canonically like get blown up we just didn't see it oh wait I thought I realized uh the the way I want the world to end is for a hive swap to come out and be good because it'll never happen and it's shit it's bad I actually no idea I just I mean really the best way for the world to end like technically would be we're already a galactic civilization blah blah blah utilitarianism whatever and we're just sort of having to combine over it as it descends into the sun in its final days like yep it was fun but it's it's dead now if we don't learn anything new about like physics or any of that shit which we probably will learn at least some things but if we don't like yeah like there's no way of avoiding like the heat death of the universe so we're all it's gonna happen one day you know if we don't if we don't get our shit together and I don't travel yeah but you can fuck a lot of bitches in that the amount of time it will take for the heat death of the universe the patreon lounge patreon.com slash something what is it the pro craft snares everybody yeah if you want to spend a buck to get into this smug little shitty chair room and talk to all these fucking bitches come on in you can ask us a question mccoolman wants wants to know if you had to body swap with any pcp member for the rest of your life who would it be hippo I should mention I should mention before uh anyone says anything uh there's a user called kalope uh caliope or whatever and he says I would swap with munchie because he seems at least depressed well let me tell you it's all it's all an illusion I think the only answer for me would be mage just because it's like the mystery answer because I don't know what she looks like so I'm just gonna like cross my fingers and roll the dice that's the that's the mystery box yeah that's a that's a fair bet uh that's not a bad choice uh I would go with tom I guess uh I mean I don't like yourself just because he's like the tallest and I could fill out my frame and become a a not a a Lanclet God that's what I would do a Lanclet God yeah that's my that's my answer I'd go with myself and that's it boom I'd go with his self as well excellent much all right uh I think it's safe to say nobody wants to be ben I can you know what my second answer was going to be ben because ben is genetically quite close to me so that's uh that'd be you know not not so bad why even change then yeah exactly but you have to write that's a question if you had to if I had to I would probably be digi because I had to I'd probably go into the body of hippo he is a powerful beast if we're opening up to stuff like that then I want to go into the body of the undertaler the most powerful man on face I thought all right we're getting out of control here now none of you want to be inside me I definitely would pick hippo because like I I kind of dig the idea of being like small and skinny like hippo doesn't like it so if he switches with me I don't think he would mind my body as much as his own for some reason you seem to not like if I could choose myself I probably would because I don't I don't dislike you can choose yourself yeah that's the whole thing but I mean okay so like the whole body swap question so like I I don't believe that a consciousness exists outside of mind so if you transfer your quote unquote consciousness into someone else's body then frankly you're just them now so like what's even the point of this the yeah it's literally a brain transplant okay that works that works uh I go with I think I go with Ben I think I go with Ben dear yeah disgusting yeah he's he's already made I could know what it's like to rub my clip boy yeah twiddle that boy yeah that's fair that's not a bad hell yeah uh I want that mage clip baby I'm sorry mage please don't listen to this episode okay what do we got here uh okay at Alan Oni uh or says or asks uh says a thing imagine that for whatever reason you have to go and pick up a girl language isn't an issue and anyone can be your wingman what do imagine yourself boys where you have to talk to a girl what do you do how do you handle this brain zap that's that's the answer that's the answer right there uh anyone differ from that will we all commit suicide uh I would say hey baby what's shaking is it my penis yes it is as you then for your ceremonial medium ritual dance for her pick up a girl like is it a date is he pick a girl from the airport I don't I think he's pick up is he pick up off the ground okay yeah let's assume he means a seduce you know romantically express her interest also also also my wingman will be like a bird and and that will be the pun and she'll be like oh what a funny pun and that'll that'll that'll clinch it it's not about it it's the combination of the funny pun and you asking her to to see your shaking penis that will lose you hit it with a one two punch first you hit it with a shaken dick then you hit it with a bird pun it's it's that's the way it works if that's that's just the way you do it uh user the jam from the patreon lounge do you piss like an animal by unbuttoning your pants and pulling your penis over your waistband or do you use the zipper and flap in the underwear like god tends you to pee I am unbuttoning your pants and pulling your penis over the waistband 100 percent I never use the f***ing flap in the other way it's f***ing disgusting and then legitimately there's no reason to do it it just takes too long it's too much of a f***ing hassle and it's just wait you just whip it out and f***ing spray I I agree with that my problem is like a thing on the picture right now the pressure from my waistband and my pants pushing up stops like the the flow of pee so I have to do with the other one well I I lip I lifted up over the waistband though the waistband is like are like on my balls I know what you're talking about but there's always a little bit I prefer to I actually mix it up I I basically undo my pants I under the button I pull those down but then I use the flap in the underwear because it's uh that's the easiest way to do it so yeah that's fine I'm in the middle but you have to unbutton it you have to unbutton it you have to like reach in like find out where it is because there's no button in my underwear there there is a button on some of mine actually the ones I'm wearing right now because I'm not wearing pants underwear has a button on it yeah it does it does it's it's fine yeah I don't know man I think the reason I don't do it is I didn't even get into it until like two years ago I think because I'd always seen it get into peeing uh going through the going through the underwear flap thing because I always knew that's what it was for I never thought to try it until like a while ago and I was like okay but look the thing is you know the last couple drips of pee which go backwards I don't know how common that is that kind of gets on the pants if you're wearing the pants yeah so I'm just like uh but I still do it if I am like listening to something in my earbuds on my phone and I don't want to stop while I pee and you know if it's in my pocket it's gonna have to go all yeah I don't want to like mess with it so yeah I uh I just undo the flap I just I just stick it out if I'm listening to something on my phone yeah okay actually you got this was a test and you all failed because what you all described was that you are all doing the virgin pee that's what you're doing whereas I walk into the bathroom I take my pants and underwear completely off I stand at the urinal bare ass to the world I make eye contact with both people surrounding me at the same time and I piss a fucking ocean into the urinal every single time that's the way you do it that's the chat everybody that's how you do it that's a lesson fun but here I'm about to introduce you to the green-pilled pee okay green pills only when you've aligned all your job you'll sign pee yeah yeah yeah it was a second dip double dipping or whatever whatever was called here's what you do okay welcome to the bathroom and you go inside of the stall and then you sit down to pee that's the secret jujitsu that fucking Donald Trump doesn't want you to see he doesn't want you to know that you're called the blue pill pee that's what that if you go in this stall at least stand and piss into the toilet why do you have to sit on it because those are both embarrassing those are both embarrassed the ability to pee standing up why not yeah you can pee standing up in a stall yeah okay but you just look like a bitch why are you taking up a whole stall if you if you don't have because what are the urinals are full of shit look I'm telling you if the urinals are full that it's fine that's no problem at all but if you choose to pee into a toilet first of all you're wasting more water you are that's not green-pilled at all you're wasting more water that's not green-pilled fucking discreet you're I will look down upon you as a man you are not a man you what if you're a shy peer and you just can't go in a urinal well that's the thing this is a manliness test I want to watch you pee I want to see you pee and study you as a man and know if you're worthy of my respect but if you go to a stall you're a coward and I don't respect you in recent years I haven't gone on the urinal but the urinal but I still I still like perceive myself as person who goes into the stall simply because I don't know I most of the most of the time I don't usually pee alone I usually pee with poop as well understandable you know understandable okay what if it's like it's a trough and you don't want to pee in a trough like a pig they're those aren't real those aren't those don't exist they are real they're totally real I was watching us junkies and they went to the Emmys the other day like the pre-emmies not like the big important one yeah and the fucking bathroom at the Emmys after-party is a trough what the fuck I know you would expect more something more extravagant for this crazy big party I go in the stall but it's not because I don't want people to see my penis it's it's just because I mean it's more privacy and I don't know I'm not like I have too many piss driplets afterwards and there's no toilet paper at the urinal that's that's a reasonable point that's really that's really that's really the toilet paper isn't thing can't fault you for that uh okay yeah or whatever next question here well whenever I'm at a urinal and like I have like shake my dick to like get all the driplets out yeah I'm just trying to think I'm like jerking off into a urinal a urinal and like I'm they're gonna be right jacking off into the urinal you ever hear the phrase that when a man walks into a room he takes his whole life with him that's what I think about every time I walk into the bathroom everyone witness my science witness my performance at the urinal this is how you know I'm a fucking man I have trained myself I've studied actual literature about how to pee properly at a urinal I know the score and everyone who is not up to my level I consider beneath me and worthless human that makes you seem more self-conscious than the people who just go in the store because you actually researched it now I'm sure you're doing it right I don't give a shit 10 years ago whatever I want yeah do whatever you want hi hi you coward hide from the light of the world keep doing it with this weird piece utilitarianism look donkey go okay here we go next question everybody at hazel cricket on twitter asks what would you consider a good gift what are your parameters for a good money is that is that bullshit about wanting someone to like the heartfelt or like oh you made me a picture that all you could have made or if you're gonna give me a gift and not money then I want to be like I want to be like something that you like made that's what I want yeah if you're going don't buy me like a thing just give me a thing that you made or give me money okay or give me something that like you could buy but that's like a specific thing that I specifically would like the question is what would you consider a good gift but feel free to talk about bad gifts either I mean for me it would be me and sheep over watching through oh go ahead something that would be very very useful for a very long time but would never be able to like get around to buying like justifying the expense of like my parents for christmas several christmases ago got me a like a uh a waterproof bluetooth speaker so that you can like listen to like music or podcast while taking a shower and it is fucking awesome and even ever breaks down I'll buy a new one in the heartbeat but when I had the idea to have one I was like I don't know if I'm gonna use that enough I just don't know I don't want to drop the money so someone breaking that damn like like violating that inertia for me was like great the great thing about the gift thing is that it's a certain amount of money that like will be spent and you just get to decide on what you have to spend it on so it really gives you license to like I mean if you can get like I do this with my parents all the time like they ask what I want like for my birthday or whatever and then they'll buy like I mean a couple years ago for christmas they got me like the camera that I use for like every video now and like that was like I paid for like half of it but like we worked at a deal just because like they want to get me something I actually care about and like so like that really emboldens you or kind of forces you to purchase things that you are maybe on the fence about that's honestly how I think about you know what no I never give gifts to anyone I don't have to I have a real answer the best gifts are gifts that are not given on birthdays or holidays because I realize I always get excited surprise gifts I always get excited not even like a surprise just something like you know we're at a store like oh that thing looks cool I'll buy it for you really oh my gosh acquaintance of mine or person who I know and love it's like I don't know they didn't always feels correct that's how giving feels like it should feel to me whereas the obligatory holidays they never feel right to me yeah I was gonna say something along those lines where like a birthday or something it feels like it'd be expected but when you get something randomly from somebody it means a lot more to me and I was saying that I me and sheep over started watching season one of true detective because she hadn't seen it and I pointed out I pointed out that uh the big hug mug that Matthew McConaughey is using as an ashtray was like a meme on 4chan for a while and then like three days later one shows up in the mail and she's like oh yeah I bought one for you and I was like oh well fucking shit and now I'm drinking out of a big hug mug right now it's I'd rather get it randomly than on my birthday because then it's like well I guess you had to get me something that's true I just never expect kindness from anyone so uh you know that's the way I feel about stuff like that is that I would like to be a person who gets gifts randomly for people and and doesn't have to do birthdays but that's not how it works because they always expect it so I feel like uh to be a person who's that generous you just need to give gifts way more and I'm I'm not like that I'm not evil I never buy gifts for anyone that I can avoid doing it for you know why would I I don't I don't get it it's not my thing just don't not about that life and so I can't expect it to be done to me oh yeah I never want gifts no one ever get me a gift uh it's not it's not good but see like the people who do like the with the p.o. box should I'm doing like they're getting something in response they're getting like my the their presence in the video so like that's an equivalent exchange going on I think so uh yeah there you go all right uh any more questions from there or shall we take another one there's no more no okay there's none on twitter or on patreon yeah yeah we're all done all these suck okay here we go here's one last question uh jh the hurricane asks aliens find us and lay siege to our planet they'll destroy us unless we bring them the best youtube video ever what's that video the japanese juggalo episode one the the aliens will be like sitting like like contrary and super hard and they'll be like show me your greatest piece of work and then and then i'll like scurry off and i'll come back and then they'll be like like put on their headphones and they'll be anticipating there's complete silence and then and then quaking from inside of their fucking headphones you know what i do in this situation i would just lean over i'd cock my eyebrow knowingly and just say have you ever heard of a little guy called leafy that's where i would go yeah that's because uh i would say he is here he is here i would say uh digi brony off to dark oh there it is there it is there was so much like a like scary ghost that wasn't a boot it was just a ghost sound whoo it's the ghost of digi um in the past when he actually made brony content and it was good unlike his new garb i don't know what he's done to the editing but like all the anime videos whoever's editing that shit it's awful i don't know i don't know what he's done to the videos like like now instead of like having point characters on screen it's all just like humans now and they're all like this is the anime they don't look like they're ready to lose out they're not leave because i said that joke did he i have no idea who knows man i think we'll find out one day i think there's no way i mean it's way funnier if it was just coincidentally he yeah dropped out you know what that's good let's do just so you know i've never actually watched the digi video so my criticism doesn't stand because i don't know if the editing is no no no don't backpedal we know we know we know you we know your secret we could wait to take down davoo this entire time all right everybody that's it that's the last of questions okay so remember send us more throughout the week whenever you fucking want to using hashtag ask pcp and if you follow us at at tpcrastinators uh we'll remind you every fucking saturday whatever you're doing during your patreon if you donate one dollar you can get into the patreon lounge and if you donate five you can get the fucking coolest bonus episode yep hey davoo came back has your emotions healed i can't hear okay yeah okay he's saying okay it doesn't matter it doesn't matter we're wrapping up anyway so yeah be a patron forget the bonus episodes six episodes are out right now people there'll be another one in like uh like a week and a half after this comes out i think so there you go so we'll see everybody next time bye bye also buy the merch oh yeah buy buy the merch