 As a kid I had this feeling inside that I never really could put a label on and one of my first years of college I was in an English class and existentialism came up. The teacher was describing it I felt like she was describing how I feel and I'd never knew there's a word for this and other people think this too there's this one quote by Kierkegaard, I think and Basically it said I went to the party and I was the life of the party and I made everyone laugh and smile and I Toasted and talked and then I went home and I wanted to shoot myself and that was it right there This is like before Facebook. I think it was on Myspace for my little quote about myself. I said I love life I'm soaking it up. I can't learn enough. It's so exciting and then I can sink into a black hole of despair Not like I want to kill myself, but I don't want to exist anymore You're just questioning. What's it all worth? Yeah, it's like hard to get out of bed and I had panic anxiety disorder where I had trouble breathing Your heart just starts pounding pounding pounding. I felt like I was having a heart attack So I went to a breathing therapist and then I tried yoga. I tried acupuncture and I still was so depressed and I was just like I need something. I'm gonna get on When everybody asks, how did we meet? I jokingly say I stalked her but I certainly don't want to endorse that kind of behavior But I heard your punk rock all-girl band and finally got the guts to say hi to you and You asked me to play drums on your zombie band project. So that's kind of where it started We fell in love by our love of music meeting you and when we started dating was refreshing because When you found out I was on medication for depression Your reaction to that was nice because you told me you were also on medication for ADD and I've never felt pressure from you to get off my medicine or Never felt like you judged me for being on meds and that's just been really nice because in past relationships I've had people try to say like, oh, well, we'll get you off that, you know or something like they didn't really understand me I've never really judged anyone for anything that they did didn't do or Medication they were on you know because it's it's obviously by no fault of their own. So it's hard to fault somebody for Trying to help themselves. So I'm glad that you weren't feeling judged by me You also went to therapy for a while as I did and I think both of us Realized that therapy can be a really good thing for people who are struggling Mm-hmm. I can think of one therapist that literally saved my life I don't even know if I would be here if it weren't for her. So now you Can enjoy your day on a even keel. How does that feel? I find a joy in the little things in life, and I just try to be thankful for what I have There's so many good things you can read and awesome Bolton boards and things People just talking about how they feel and it is calming to know that you're not alone You are not alone and just remember that