 Welcome viewers. I have selected a very special topic for you today. The topic is emotional intelligence. Now you may wonder what it is. But let me tell you that it can be a life-changing session for you dear students. Because as I tell you more and more about this topic, you will start realizing that yes, this is the topic which I must go through to become successful in life. Friends, this particular talk by me has been divided into three segments. In the first segment, we will talk about academic intelligence. In the second segment, we will discuss emotional intelligence. And finally, in the last segment, we will talk about components of emotional intelligence. So friends, let us begin. The question arises in our mind, what is intelligence? And when does it begin? So friends, let me tell you that the academic intelligence begins at fetal stage itself. I hope you remember the story of Abhimanyu. Abhimanyu learned how to penetrate Chakravya while still being in the womb of his mother. He could not come out of it. We all know that because his mother was feeling sleepy and so Abhimanyu could not learn that how to come out of it. But in the western countries, the doctors conduct swimming experiments. A baby which is born one hour, two hour ago, that infant a baby, for him or her, they will arrange a swimming experiment. They will fill the tub with water, will make all the safety arrangements, but will put the baby into the water. In order to survive, using instinct, the baby learns to swim. So it is said that the learning begins as soon as the baby is one hour or two hour old. But as we know from Abhimanyu's story, that the learning can take place while the well-developed fetus is there. Now friends, moving further, it is a scientifically proven fact that there is a genetic influence of parents which is transferred to a child. A child inherits 35% of his or her intelligence from both the parents. So you should understand that if the child is not able to perform well, then 35% is your own contribution. So before scolding, please keep this fact in mind dear parents, this academic intelligence is measured in terms of IQ, that is intelligence quotient. Which is very popular in the western and developed world, where IQ is measured at different age stages, different IQ tests are there and the standards are also there. As far as India is concerned, this academic intelligence is measured in terms of academic grade cards, where the parent would make an assessment about their child looking at the mark sheet, what we call the grade card. The problem is that higher the grade, thicker the glasses, worn by children. And especially you may recall your own school days that those children who were confined to the books only and were not active in any other walk of life, we used to call them bookworms or Kitabi Kira. Now this academic intelligence stabilizes around 18 years of age, meaning thereby that initially in the first 18 years the physical development takes place while in the subsequent years the academic intelligence increases but not so rapidly as it used to increase in the first 18 years of age. So friends, this was academic intelligence, the measure of which is IQ that is intelligence quotient. Now, we move to the next segment and let us now explore the world of emotional intelligence. This word emotion, if we remove E what we are left with, motion only, meaning thereby that all the motion in our life is governed by our emotions. And as I told you that this can be a life changing session for all of you dear students. So let us understand what is meant by emotional intelligence and also try to understand what is the difference between academic intelligence on the one hand and emotional intelligence on the other hand. Emotional intelligence, the word emotion is derived from the word immover that is the spirit that moves us. Like I said that all the emotion in our life is governed by our emotions. It was a New York Times journalist by the name of Daniel Goldman who popularized this concept in the year 1989. He came out with a book which was titled EQ Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Now this book was written based on empirical evidences. He conducted a survey of 500 selected managers of Fortune 500 companies. He got three sets of data for each manager, number one their IQ score, number two their EQ score, number three their leadership performance score. Now what he got was that very surprising results. He found that those managers whose IQ score is high, EQ score is low, there what you call leadership performance was very poor. On the other hand he found that those managers whose EQ score is high, IQ score is low, their leadership performance is exceedingly good. And finally he found that those managers whose EQ IQ both scores are moderate, they were moderately successful as leaders and managers. And so what final conclusion he drew from this experiment and that he prominently mentioned in the book I mentioned just now. He said that, Daniel Goldman said that your 80% of your success comes from emotional intelligence. It means that if you are successful then 80% contribution comes from emotional intelligence. While the academic intelligence which constitutes the remaining 20% is also important. Why it is important? Because it is academic intelligence which will get you the job. But finally it is emotional intelligence which will make you successful in those jobs. So friends let me tell you that there have been so many movies also made on this theme of emotional intelligence. Let me recall one movie called Three Idiots. Three Idiots movie was totally based on the theme of emotional intelligence. You may recall there was a classroom scene where the teacher is asking what is machine and then the central character played by Amir Khan. He gives a practical definition then there was another what you call bookish fellow who gives the exactly he replicates whatever was clearly mentioned in the book as a definition. And so then this particular scene very effectively tells us the difference between academic intelligence and emotional intelligence. So this question might also be coming to your mind. Let me answer it by saying that academic intelligence provides you with the theoretical knowledge. But it is the emotional intelligence which will give you the practical skills to apply their theoretical knowledge. And you may agree you will agree with me that it is the practical skills, the practical knowledge, the applied knowledge that is far more important and far more what you can call worthwhile. Moving further now let us go to the next slide. If you ask me what is EI? I will tell you that it is the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions. If you press me further that give me a definition then there is no definition actually because it is not a theoretical subject. What I can tell you is that the crux of EI what is the crux of emotional intelligence? It is how to smartly manage your emotions. It is all about smart management of your emotions. So that is what is emotional intelligence that how smartly I am managing my emotions. Am I allowing my emotions to govern my behavior and action? Or I am managing my emotions well and applying them to the practical situations and practical problems. Emotionally intelligent persons are known by many other terms also such as practical problem solver, street smart, result oriented. Sometimes we also use the term called Jugaar that is Jugaaru. So what is that? That Jugaar though it is a Hindi term but then it is there in the Oxford dictionary of English. Jugaar is being innovative in the way you are doing things. Now let me tell you a story of Mulla Nasruddin. Mulla Nasruddin is a very famous we can say fictitious character. There are many stories told about him which are available on the net also. And so there it goes that once Mulla ji was going to perform Hajj riding his own camel. In the middle of the desert he came across three young persons they were all weeping. Mulla ji being a compassionate person he came down from his camel and then he approached them. And he asked them what is the problem? Then among the three the one who was the eldest he said Mulla ji we three are real brothers. And our father has died recently. Mulla ji said that this is a very big loss I really sympathize with you people. Then the middle brother said sir that is not the only problem. The problem is that our father has put a complicated puzzle in the will and so what to do about it. Then when Mulla ji asked them tell me what the puzzle is. Younger brother said irritately that our father knew very well that we all are very poor in mathematics. Still he put a mathematical puzzle into it. So now when Mulla ji insisted brothers told him that our father has left 17 camels and half of them will go to the eldest. One third to the middle brother and one upon nine to the youngest brother. Now one more condition which is mentioned in the will is that we are not allowed to cut camels into pieces. And so we don't know much of mathematics but we know that 17 is a prime number and hence indivisible. So what to do? Mulla ji also tried to find the solution. He is a intelligent fellow but he could not get the solution. Then when he looked around his eyes fell on his own camel. So suddenly he got like lightning this idea. Then he offered to these three brothers that why don't you take my camels. All three of them denied saying that Mulla ji you are going to perform Hajj. Preventing you from doing so will be a sin. But when Mulla ji insisted then Mulla Nasruddin's camel was also added. So originally 17 camels were there. Now with this addition 17 plus 1 18 camels have become. Now Mulla ji invited the eldest brother and offered him 18 half of 18 nine camels to him. Then he invited the middle brother and one by three of 18 that is one third of 18 six camels were offered to the middle brother. Finally he invited the youngest brother 18 upon nine two camels were offered to the youngest brother. Now Mulla ji said you can count nine to the eldest six to the middle two to the youngest. You have 17 camels of yours give me back my camel so that I can go to perform Hajj. So what is that that is actually emotional intelligence that is practical problem solving that is being result oriented. I also say that that is out of the box thinking that is something that is kind of innovative way of handling handling situations and problems. So this is another way of looking at things new way of looking at things. Now finally we discuss what is emotional intelligence. He has already given Goldman but then if we look deeper into our own scriptures and ancient religious scriptures. Then we find that the essence of long discourse given by Lord Krishna to reluctant Arjun at the battlefield of Kurukshetra that is what is emotional intelligence because Arjuna refused to fight the enemy force saying that they are all my kits and kin. How can I take up weapon against them and then Lord Krishna gave him a long discourse and not only him but the military forces on both sides. They all listened to his famous speech which is very prominently given in Shreemad Bhagavad Gita. There Lord Krishna talks about the concept of Siddh Pragya. Siddh Pragya means stable, Pragya means buddhi that is wisdom. So stable wisdom in other words he has said that person is emotionally intelligent who is able to maintain his emotional balance through all kinds of situations in life. Which is called Jai, Paraja, Lab, Hani, Sam, Visham, Shubh, Ashubh, in all kinds of situations the person who can keep his mind and mind stable is the emotionally intelligent person. So that is the ancient Indian concept. And what Daniel Goldman has done is to put old wine into new bottle and label it as emotional intelligence. Now you might be wondering that where all this is leading to. Because we talked about academic intelligence we discussed that when does the learning begin. We also talked about that 35% of the intelligence of the parents is inherited by a child. We discussed that up to 18 years it can stabilize. And so friends now we are talking about the concept of emotional intelligence. Where I told you that emotional intelligence is far more important than the academic intelligence. Because the success comes largely that is 80% of the contribution in your success is that of emotional intelligence. And 20% is that of academic intelligence. Then I told you that how you can be smartly managing your emotions in order to be emotionally intelligent. So let's move further and now we discuss the components of emotional intelligence which will be our last but the longest segment. So components of emotional intelligence. What are the components of EI? Number one is the self level components. Number two interpersonal level components. Number three group level components. Now these are the three levels on which the components operate. There are a total of five components of emotional intelligence. Three of them operate at the self level. Fourth one operates at the interpersonal level. And fifth one operates at the group level. So let us see what are those components. There are three components which are operating at the self level. Number one is the self awareness. Number two is self regulation. Number three is self motivation. So friends at the interpersonal level we have the component of empathy. And finally at the group level we have the component of social skill. So let us discuss one by one these five components. First of all what is self awareness? Self awareness is knowing who am I. Being aware about yourself. This is the beginning of the journey of emotional intelligence. You should be able to define yourself not merely describe. You should be able to do sort analysis of yourself. You should be able to understand your own emotional makeup. Your own emotional framework. What kind of moods and what kind of impulses you are having. What are the positive emotions you are having and what are the negative emotions you are having. And more importantly what are the impact of those negative emotions on others. Let us now discuss self confidence. Everyone has one's own optimum level of self confidence. But the point is that you must do the tightrope walking when it comes to maintaining that optimum level of self confidence always. Because if your actual confidence level is higher than optimum level then people will say how arrogant he or she is. If it is lower than the optimum level then people will say how ill confident you are. You easily perspire. Something like that. Friends also we have the sense of humor. Sense of humor is also a trait, a characteristic of emotionally intelligent persons. It is easy to laugh at others but are you prepared to laugh at yourself. There is a very good word in English for that which is called self deprecating sense of humor. So friends then comes lastly the positive attitude. That is thoughts become things. Meaning thereby that jo sochoge wo ho jaega. So that is the number one component that is called self awareness. Second is self regulation. What is self regulation and there is a hierarchy involved. First you have to become aware about your own emotional framework then only you can think in terms of regulating. I am not using the term control because control means to suppress but we don't want to suppress our emotions. Because what happens if you keep on suppressing your emotions for a long time then what happens then sometimes the volcano may erupt and in such cases the people may have suicidal tendencies or may resort to any violent measures and all. So friends self regulation means discerning negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, hatred etc. So we should not be having the negative emotions. If we are having the negative emotions then we should not suppress them but we should be re-channelizing them. How you can re-channelize? For example if you become aware that I become angry very quickly. So that is good that you are self-aware. But what are you doing about it? Are you allowing this negative emotion to dominate your behavior and personality? No, you will have to re-channelize it. How? Because when you become angry then suddenly you are having excess energy. You put that excess energy in some other constructive work. Maybe do some gardening till you perspire or maybe you divert your mind or you move away from that position or anything. So there are many ways you can re-channelize. Next is managing negative emotions in yourself. That is what is the crux of self-regulation actually. So friends, next is self-motivation. I told you that there are three components of emotional intelligence at self-level. Number one was self-awareness. Number two, self-regulation. And number three, self-motivation. We have discussed first two. Now let us talk about self-motivation. Self-motivation is what? That I am motivated from within. I don't require any external force to motivate me. I am working hard not for money but because I have a sense of loyalty towards my organization. I am working even when my boss is not watching. So that could be the self-motivation. So source of motivation may be same but there can be different interpretations of it. But let me tell you that unless you are self-motivated how can you motivate others? So these are the first three components at the self-level. Now let us talk about empathy. You will ask me that what is empathy? How it is different than sympathy? I will tell you that empathy is a degree higher than sympathy. Because empathy is first thing it operates at the interpersonal level. So one-to-one relationship. So earlier at the self-level you were trying to understand your own emotional framework. Now at this stage of interpersonal interactions you are trying to understand the emotional framework of the other person. That person with whom you are interacting. Now handling people according to their emotional framework is empathy. In other words we can say that putting yourself in others shoes. Such empathetic people are very good HR managers. They are able to build and retain talents. Even let me say that every mother in this world is having a lot of empathy for their children. She knows what they want without the children telling her. So point is that that empathy is very very important and it makes you very effective and efficient in interpersonal relations. So these are the components that we have discussed at self-level three. Then we have discussed that number one is what you call the self-awareness. Number two is self-regulation. Number three is empathy. Basically we talk about empathy and can understand this concept with the help of one story also. A young boy goes to the puppy store and he asks the manager that I want to buy puppy. He says better take your pick anyone for twenty dollars a piece. Then he asks the store manager what about that puppy which is there in the back of the store. He said no no no that is not for sale. But that boy takes the permission goes to the corner of the store where this puppy was there. And he asked him why it is so. Then he said that this is having defective legs so I am not selling it. But the boy goes there in the corner plays with that puppy with the defective leg for some time. Then decides pick up that puppy in his lap that puppy with the defective leg comes to the this encounter. Pays twenty dollars and starts to leave. Now this store manager becomes very surprised and he asked the boy to come back. He comes back to the counter. He says that you have selected that one which is not for sale and you could have bargain with me. I could have given you this for half the price. So why you have acted the way you have acted. The boy did not utter single word but then he lifted his trouser and showed he also had an artificial leg. This is I would say one of the greatest examples of empathy. So friends now finally we come to the fifth and final component that of social skills. While first three were operating at the self level. The empathy fourth one was operating at the interpersonal level. Interpersonal means your relationship with your wife, with your husband, with your boss, with your mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter and so on. One to one but. Now here social skill is one to many group level. So what happens is that that is socially skilled person must be good at managing relationships. Must be good at network building. Must be good at rapid building and he should be a persuasive person because many studies have been done to link emotional intelligence with what you call the emotional intelligence with leadership. And so it was found that those managers who are socially skilled, they are good leaders also. They should have expertise in team building as well. So friends, let me tell you that if you also want to be emotionally intelligent, you can do so easily by practicing on these five components. And as many books and literature tells us that 21 days it takes to form a habit. And so if you start practicing on each component for 21 days, let us say one month at a time, then we will have actually the situation where we should be becoming emotionally intelligent person in less than six months time. So dear viewers, in this program, we were talking about a very important concept of emotional intelligence. I divided it into three segments. In the first one, we talked about academic intelligence. In the second one, we discussed emotional intelligence. And thirdly, last one, we basically talked about the components of emotional intelligence. And we also understood that how emotional intelligence is playing such an important role in our lives and the great contribution that comes from emotional intelligence for making us successful. We discussed those five components which operate, three of them operate at the self level. That is self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation. The fourth one operates at the interpersonal level that is empathy. And fifth one that is operating at the group level that is social skills. Thank you.