 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a Coke And now Claudia They're all washed and put away. Oh, David the faucet in the kitchen is dripping. You said you'd fix it. Mm-hmm There's an article here in the paper about a man who shot his wife because she tickled him when he was trying to sleep Oh, come on stop bluffing you. You know you like being tickled The nicest part about being married is I Don't know there's so many nice parts that I can't make up my mind, which I like this Why don't you stop prowling around the room sit down and sew some buttons on something on what for instance? shirts for instance the shirts buttons are buttons all your shirts have buttons on them Will remind me to tear some off All good housewives are supposed to sew buttons on shirts while their husbands read the evening papers I feel housewife you without sewing on buttons What's the opposite of housewife leave on housewife? I mean for a man house husband Now shut up. I won't shut up. I feel like talking Say it get it over with oh David you look so husbandly sitting in that chair smoking your paper and reading your pipe Trying to read my pipe Who's trying the light bad? No the acoustics. I don't insult easily. No, but aren't you tired of the Talking after making all that dinner dear Why don't you sit down then anyway, huh? Oh all the chairs are too uncomfortable. Mr. Tucker must have been a heavy man. He's left an impression on every chair Why don't you start making your own impression? I think I have a strap put up in the living room like they got in the subway I don't think the landlord would like that. You don't well. I'll sit down. I know where I'll sit don't tell me Let me guess you're right move over this chair was built for one Claudia. It's a very big chair And I'm very small not that small and I can't read my paper like this You shouldn't want to evenings where it meant to read papers in hey I'm not comfortable wiggle over. I'm not the wiggling kind Anything the paper beside the man who shot his wife. I don't know. I'm not a chance to find out Well, if it's important you'll hear about tomorrow anyway Oh, are there any good sales for anything here? Look for yourself Hey, what are you doing putting your paper away? It's not polite to read in company. I am not company I'm your husband. Give me back my paper make believe your company then all right, then I'm company What is company? Oh, you make me feel like an old married couple. Don't you remember your bachelor days? I remember reading the paper vaguely otherwise my mind is a blank Don't remember a thing past our honeymoon. I remember a few things I remember I was too bashful to sit in the same couch with you here I'm sitting on a little tiny chair when you pushed yourself in your next to me You said it was a big chair my perspective's changed if I kiss you would you go away and make a pie and let me read my paper Maybe it's worth a chance. All right, lean over your company you lean over There satisfactory not quite sorry the complaint department is closed for the night open it up then it's open What is the complaint that the faucet in the kitchen is still dripping it made noises while you were kissing you You want me to kiss you again? I suppose no fix the faucet Maybe it's time for you to make believe you were company after the faucet sticks You said you'd do it now do what fix the faucet my word is as good as my bond Unwed yourself in the chair and I'll take a look at it. You're sure you know how to do it David no, I need you to teach me now there goes come on into the kitchen with Someday I'm going to live in a house without faucets you'll have to pump water Watch out for that rug. It's sticking up. Mr. Tucker didn't take care of anything in this house Look at that faucet. Plink, plink, plink. It's not plinking, it's plopping. Whatever it's doing, it kept me awake all night. Well, we'll fix it right now. Oh, it's wonderful to have a handyman around the house. You sure you know what you're doing? Mm-hmm. There we are. What is it? That works all right. Water seems to be coming out fine. I know that's the trouble. Water comes out when it's even turned off. I think you're right. Where's the screwdriver? We don't own one yet. We haven't been married long enough. All we have is a hammer. Can't use a hammer? Get me one of those blunt knives of Mr. Tucker's. They're all blunt. That's why we've had hamburgers for the past two nights. I mean one of those that were made to be blunt. I'll use that. Uh, let's see. Now, would you rather have one with the initial B or M? Try to find one with F, a faucet. David. What? Stop interrupting me. Do you want this faucet fixed? Yes, but look at the other side. Look what it says in small letters. Knives were meant to cut with, not to read. What does it say? Hotel Brockton, Brockton P.A. I'm sure the hotel didn't approve of Mr. Tucker's hobby. Maybe it wasn't a hobby, maybe it was a profession. I never lived in the apartment of a professional dipsomaniac before. Could be, but I think you mean kleptomaniac. Oh, a klepto is what takes things and dipso is what... Drinks things. I always get them mixed up. You never stole anything from a hotel, did you, David? When I went back to college reunion once, I took a bar of soap. I stole something, too. Once Mama took me to a restaurant in a hotel, I remember seeing a horse outside. Did you steal that? I stuffed some cubes of sugar inside my glove when I got outside, the horse was gone. My conscience bothered me for days. How about the gloves? It was sticky for days. You know, I'm glad we're not the kind of people that steal from hotels. Which knife do you want? The dullest one. They're all dull. Now, this screw on top of the faucet was made to be taken out. That's how you can tell whether you need a new washer. There, now. Now put the screw away carefully. I'll put it in the cup. Good. I'll expect it for breakfast with my coffee. No, don't. Now, let's take a look in here. Mm-hmm. What is it? Mm-hmm. Born washer. We'll need a new one. Do we have one? No. Well, if we knew what that was wrong with it and we didn't have one, why did we take the faucet apart? We didn't. I did. I know. I just wanted to share the blame, darling. It's still dripping. That's because it's not fixed yet. Now bring me some scissors and one of our cork coasters. I'll make one. The coasters have our names on them. Good. Then people will know it's our washer. Nobody ever takes faucets apart and looks at washers. We do. We're different. Besides, it's a waste of a perfectly good coaster. Isn't there something else we can use? We can let it drip. Maybe if I had turned this one around, the worn side would be up. I'll try that now. You know, I think you'll be fine being a plumber. They're so resourceful. You look particularly resourceful right now, David. Oh, it's nothing to this now. Anyone can change a wash. David, water's coming out of the top of the faucet. I know. I know. Quick, quick. Get a towel or something. What's so funny? You look like that boy in Holland who stuck his finger in a hole in the sink. As I remember, he was there for three days. Hurry up, will you? He asked me what I used to write. The dishes were still there. Wait a minute. I can't get my finger out. There you go. Now, now the towel is going to be damp. It's still going, David. I know. What happened to the washer? I can't find it. Throw it up on top of the water when you turn that little thing out. Did you see where it went? Look around. Here it is next to the sink. I'll get it. All right, thanks. I'll take both hands and hold this towel down here. Here it is. There it is. All right. Thanks. Stand back now. I'm going to take the towel away. Uh-oh. Get out of my way. Go, Gar. Go to the knife. Quick. There. How's that? Fine. Only the kitchen floor is all wet, too. Yes, but the faucets stop dripping. Where's the little screw for the top now? At the bottom of the cup. Under the water. I'll go in after it. Uh, now on. The screw. Uh. Listen, you better dry your face off, David. You'll catch pneumonia. You don't catch pneumonia in the face. Here, let me put the screw back on. You know how? Anyone knows how. Give me the knife. Here's the towel. Thanks. Now. Now, how's that for a job? Not a drop coming out. But do you think the superintendent would have gotten the floor all wet? Anyone would have gotten the floor all wet. Anyway, it's not all wet. There's a dry spot near the broom closet. That's because the floor is higher on that side. Hang it on the rack. There. Where'll I put this? Here, I'm never done now. Oh. Hey, what happened? The knife slipped. It dropped into the sink. Hey, did you cut yourself? You're bleeding. It's worse than this loss of time. I'll put a piece of paper over it. It'll stop bleeding. You'll do nothing of the kind. We're going to put some iodine on it and a bandage. Now, let me see it. It's nothing, David. It's just a tiny... It's just a scratch, I know. But we're going to take care of it before an infection sets in. Now, come on in the bathroom. We'll fix that. I don't like iodine. It stings. Come on. Hey, watch out for the carpet. I've got to fix that, too. Oh. Wait till I turn on the light. David, it's perfectly all right, darling. Now, let me take a look at it now. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Clean cut, all right? Then we won't have to put iodine on it. Yes, we will. That's to prevent infection from setting in. Now, where's the iodine? In the medicine chest right in front of you. David, can't we get a new mirror for the cabinet? This one's awfully blurred. Every time I look into it, I feel as though I need a shave. Maybe that's why the reason I've been shaving for days. You're not going to take my mind off of what I'm going to do now. Now, where's the iodine? It's right in there somewhere. Now, what if this was an emergency? You'd be bleeding to death while I look for it. But it's not, and I'm not. No difference. Hey. What are all these empty bottles? We've only been living here three days now. How in the world did we manage to accumulate so many empty bottles? Oh, why? Didn't I tell you I brought them from Mama's? I thought they'd make the bathroom look more lived in. Oh, you did, huh? Mm-hmm. Well, if there's no cinnamon attached to them, I wish you'd get rid of a few. Here's the iodine. Oh, David, I'm not a mama, baby, about many things. Just about mama. And iodine, but hold my hand while you put it on. If I hold your hand, I can't put it on. You ready? Go ahead. Hurts? Sure, it hurts. It's killing me. I'll tell you. Here, I'll put a little bandage on. It's easy. All right. David, you ripped the gauze just like a doctor. You wanted to be a doctor, didn't you? How'd you know? The way you ripped the gauze. And the way you looked at mama and told her she had a headache the other day. And she did, too. What do you know? Well, now let's have that hand now. Yeah, that's very neat, if I say so myself. If you had, I would have. It should be a brighter light in this hall. I'll get one tomorrow. Look, the living room floor is wet near the kitchen. It'll dry. Sit down now and rest. Let's both sit down and rest. Oh, darling, even living here is nice and away, isn't it? Just the two of us together? Mm-hmm. I guess that's what goes into making a marriage. Two people living together and having things happen to them. Sharing joy and pain like my fingers. I wish it were my finger that got cut. I don't. I'm glad it was mine. Thanks for saying it anyway. David. Yes? I hate to tell you this, but frost is still good thing. What do we do about it? Let the superintendent take care of it tomorrow. I've got more important things to worry about now. All story material used in this broadcast of Claudia was under the supervision of Rose Franken and William Brown Maloney. The college crowd seems to stick pretty much to the classics in books, in clothes, and in refreshment. Likewise, the pause that refreshes with ice-cold Coca-Cola is a perennial favorite. And now it's more plentiful. So ask your grocer for a supply of Coca-Cola. He'll be glad to let you have it. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying olivoire and remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be. When you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For ice-cold Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes.