 when narcissists turn people against you. The narcissist will target people who are important to you. Your family, friends, relationship partner, co-workers, or anyone else you may know, they will say really bad things about you in an attempt to weaken your support structure and they will then bring these people onto their side to support them. This is most common when a narcissistic relationship partner sides with your family members or when your narcissistic family members side with your relationship partner. When this happens, it can cause a lot of confusion and self-doubt. You are already being gaslit by the narcissist in your life. But when they take what little support you have, it leaves you with no one to validate what you are experiencing. It makes you feel like you are going crazy or as though you are at fault. Narcissists are able to turn people against you because they know how to charm their targets. They act polite and friendly. They can be very generous. They agree with everything you say and they say things that make you believe they see things in the way that you do. They act like they are on the same page as though they get it, as though they understand. This then gives them the power to influence you. It gives them the capacity to have an effect on your character, development and behavior, which then gives them control. It gives them the power to direct the course of events. They get to determine how things are going to play out and they can then maintain influence and authority over you. They know how to deal with people. They act as though they've tried their best to improve their relationship, as though they really care about that person. But then they have to tell you things about them. They are good actors. They can willfully cause pain and suffering to you without feeling any concern about it. They find pleasure in spoiling or ruining your opportunities and exercising their control or influence over you. They can be very exploitative. They know how to make use of a situation or treating people unfairly in order to gain an advantage or benefit. They know how to spread rumors. They will dig up things you've said or done in the past or they may even lie. They are motivated by power. They want to have the ability to direct and influence the behavior of others and the course of events. For them to do this, they need to have people on their side. They need to have an influence on them. They are motivated by this false sense of winning through manipulation and deceptive tactics, which then gives them power over you. You may feel hurt or betrayed by the narcissist, but you need to have control over your emotions. It can be quite terrifying when one day you go to an event or to your workplace and suddenly everyone is acting so cold and indifferent towards you. It can be very confusing. You might question yourself and wonder what did you do to cause these people to act this way towards you? If you are very fortunate, someone in your network might make you aware that someone has been spreading rumors about you, but most often this doesn't happen and most targets don't know who has been turning people against them or what has been said. But if you do get the opportunity to know who has been doing it and what they have been saying about you, it may begin to make more sense. It's sad how easily the people around the narcissist were able to be manipulated. And how much damage this can do to your life. It can affect your work and community, your friends and family members. But narcissists don't think about the consequences of their actions. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. The best thing you can do in these situations is to continue being yourself. Don't try to defend yourself to anyone. Continue talking to them, regardless of what they have been told about you. Give them the opportunity to develop their own opinions about you. Some people may realise that what's been said about you is very contradictory with your attitude and behaviour. And you may be able to continue a relationship with those people. But while others may not realise this and may believe what the narcissist is saying about you, if they were that easy to lose, they probably weren't worth keeping. If someone could be taken from you that easily, just by listening to what one person is saying about you, your connection to them couldn't have been that strong. If these were good, genuine people, why didn't they ever approach you? Why didn't they ever talk to you and tell you that someone came up to them and said all of these bad things about you? If the narcissist is going around and saying all of these things about you and those people really cared about you, they would talk to you. The ones who are good, genuine people and the ones who have had healthy relationships with will talk to you. They will tell you what has been said about you. The good, genuine people in your life will see what is happening. Narcissists are motivated by insecurity. They see these situations as a game and they will move people around like pawns on a chess board in an attempt to win. When they tell people things about you, they do so in an attempt to get as many chess pieces as they can onto their side. Because that's all these people are to them anyway. They're just chess pieces and the more they have, the more powerful they feel. They believe that more people equals more power. But in reality, all they have is people who are too weak to hold their own opinions and beliefs. People who lack the courage and strength to stand on their own in a way the narcissist has actually done you a favor. Because if they were able to turn these people against you so easily they couldn't have been good people anyway. Because no healthy, functional person is going to develop an opinion about you without even talking to you or hearing your side of the story. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.