 J-T-L-L-O! The Jello Program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with San Diego Serenade. One of the most significant things about Jello, ladies and gentlemen, is the fact that not only do many, many people serve Jello, but they serve it often. And the reason they serve it so frequently is because Jello does suggest itself for so many different occasions. For example, Jello is the first dessert you think of when you're pressed for time and want a quick yet delightful treat. Jello is the dessert you think of when there's a party to be planned, because it's so colorful and swell-tasty. And you turn to Jello when you want a luscious treat that's pleasantly inexpensive. Jello, with its rich glowing colors and its unsurpassed flavor, is the ideal answer to every dessert situation. So order a supply from your grocer tomorrow, choosing any or all of Jello's six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, or lime. And by the way, strawberry, raspberry, and cherry Jello now have a new improved flavor, obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced. And the result is a distinctive goodness that you definitely do not want to miss. Try a glistening mold of rich, tempting Jello tomorrow. And now, ladies and gentlemen, last Friday the 14th, which was Valentine's Day, was also the birthday of our master of ceremonies, Jack Benny, who was exactly... Yes, sir. Years of age. So tonight, we would like to re-enact the events which occurred at Jack's house Friday evening. It was about 7 p.m. and a little group consisting of Jack, Mr. Billingsley, the boarder, and Mary, who had been dropped by to go to a movie, were seated around the dinner table. Let us eavesdrop, shall we? Oh, boy, it's nothing like eating at home, I always say. And Mary passed some of those extra fancy, solid packs to tomatoes. Will you? Oh, stop building them up. Well, they're delicious. Take some more. I'm tired of tomatoes. Where's the meat? It's coming. Rochester, I'm taking Miss Livingston to a movie, so will you please hurry with that extra choice, Eastern cut prime ribs of beef. You mean that biggy little pot roast? Never mind, bring it in. It's a pretty tough meat. It's a pretty tough piece of meat, boys. I don't know if it's done yet. Well, stick a fork in it. I did, and I can't get it out. Bring it in anyway. Okay. Say, Mary, aren't these nice dishes? Lovely pattern, isn't it? Yeah. Is this the set you want at the Beverly Theater? All but the soup terrine. I got that at the Oriental. Gee, these tomatoes are good. They're not seasoned enough. Pass me that salt shaker. You want it at Ocean Park. There you are. And that wise guy said I couldn't break those balloons. How are you enjoying your dinner, Mr. Billingsley? That's fine, thank you. Good, good. This watercress is delicious. Those are ferns, Mr. Billingsley. You're eating the centerpiece there. Hmm. Say, Jack. What? Why is Mr. Billingsley wearing that fife and drum around his neck? That fife and drum? Yeah. Well, that's my fault. I told him we were having Yankee pot roast tonight. Oh, by the way, Mr. Billingsley, Miss Livingston and I are going to see a movie after dinner. Would you care to join us? No, thank you. I'm going to stay home tonight and get stiff. Get stiff? I thought you didn't drink anymore. I don't. I'm going to sit in the ice box. Oh. Oh. Oh, I see. Here you are, folks. Make way for the pot roast. Hmm. That smells good. Did you get the fork out of a Rochester? Only the handle. You mean the prongs are still in the meat? Don't worry, boys. I put a band-aid there so you won't bite into them. That's very thoughtful of you. What do you want, Mary? A rare piece or an outside cut? Give me the band-aid. That looks tender. Watch out. You won't get any. Rochester, hand me the pot roast. Here you are. You think that... Whoa, my fingers. The plate's kind of hot, boss. That's a fine time to tell me. Never saw such a careless... Now, where the heck is the pot roast? There it is, up on the chandelier. On the chandelier? Well, I'll be darned. It's dripping on my drum. Well, move over a little. Rochester, you're so clumsy. Now, go out in the kitchen and fix up a few cold cuts. We've got to eat something. Let's take some oranges and knock down the pot roast. You can get a ladder and take it down later. Now, bring in the cold cuts. How would you like some genuine, boneless, skinless, imported Norwegian sardines? Packed in virgin olive oil. Bring them in, Rochester. Now, Mary, while we're waiting, have some more stewed tomatoes. A fine meal. Well, they're very good for you. They'll make you strong. I'm strong enough now to walk to a restaurant. Oh, if you don't like the tomatoes, don't eat them. Pass the bread, please. Would you, uh, would you like some butter, too? I've never been there, but I hear it's lovely. What? Gee, that doesn't make any sense at all. Say, Mary, I've got an idea. Why don't we go to the movie and then eat later? Oh, Jack, I don't want to see Love Thy Neighbor again. Getting so now, I can't even laugh at your love scene with Mary Martin. You're not supposed to laugh at that. Hey, Rochester, we're going to a movie, so never mind those sardines. I already opened them. Oh, well, you can, you can eat them. I made some fried chicken for myself. Rochester, this is only Friday, and I told you we're not having that chicken until Sunday. I'm having some people over at the house. The way it's been raining lately, the house might not be here Sunday. Don't be so panicky. It is raining kind of hard, but it's nothing to worry about. And why did you build an ark? I've got to have a hobby, don't I? No way to hear you two talk. I think it was a regular flutter or something. Well, all I know is the milkman arrived on a surfboard this morning. That's Mr. Kahanamoku. He's a Hawaiian. And another thing, I won't stand for anybody running down the California weather. Quiet, or I'll stick my fork in your water wings. You wouldn't dare. Sister. Ha-ha. Now, come on, Mary, we're going to the movie. Hey, boss, boss. What is it, Rochester? There's a big crowd of people coming up the front steps. A crowd of people? Everybody wipe your feet. You've been so darn nice to the whole gang you're entitled to it. What to say? I'm all choked up. This is really the last thing in the world I expected. You know, I was just sitting here getting ready to go to a movie, not even thinking about little me having a birthday party, and then you all barged in. Gee, look, fellas, I'll just run down and see my picture and be back in 84 minutes. I'm so excited, Mary. I don't know what I'm talking about. Say, Mr. Benny, what's that up there in the chandelier? A pot roast, Dennis. It's a long story. But don't worry about it, kid. A pot roast on the chandelier, and he tells me not to worry. Forget it, will you? I'll have Rochester take it down a few minutes and make sandwiches. I just sent him to the store to buy some food. Oh, did you give him any money? Uh-huh. I took $3 out of the sugar bowl. Mary, the sugar bowl is for laundry. If you want to buy groceries, you take the money out of the cookie jar. I tried to, and a cobra stuck his head out. That's my East Indian burglar alarm. Say, Don, what's that you're hiding behind your bag? Well, Jack, Mary, Dennis, Philip, myself, all chipped in and bought you a birthday present. And believe me, Jack, it comes right from the heart. A present? Doggone, you got... You'll have me bawling in a minute. If you give it to me, I'll unwrap it. Hold it, Jackson. A speech goes with this, and I'm gonna make it. Well, Mr. Benny, ladies and gentlemen, and members of the Minneapolis Chamber of Commerce. Minneapolis Chamber of Commerce? I copied this out of a book. Forget that part. Okay, go ahead. It is with great pride... Or make it pride. Yeah, make it pride. It is with great pride and pleasure that I and my fellow colleagues... Collie, go ahead. Yes, present you with this beautiful gift as a token of our loyalty, devotion, and gastronomical appreciation. Here you are, Jackson. Here it is. Gee whiz, fellas. I know it's my birthday, but you... Gosh, you shouldn't have gone all this. Well, for heaven's sake, isn't that beautiful? Do you like it, Jack? Oh, boy, just what I needed. A bicycle pump. Gee, with a hose and all. Which one of you heels suggested this? Oh, we didn't know what to buy you, Jackson. You've got everything. Everything but a bicycle pump. And now I've got that. Oh, well, thanks anyway, fellas. I'll wear it in good health. Rochester, there's someone at the door. I told you he went out for the groceries. Oh, yes, I'll answer. Probably another telegram. I've been getting them all day long. Oh, boss, it's me. Rochester, you've got a key. Why make me open the door? I just want to give you an idea of what I go through. It's too bad about you. What'd you bring from the market? Well, I've got some limes and lemons and grape juice for the punch. For the punch? What are we going to have to eat? Boss, with the punch I make, people have been known to go for days without eating. Well, we still have to have food. If you can't find anything in the kitchen, run next door to Mr. Ronald Coleman's. This is the day his cook makes popovers. Okay. Say, fellas, we'll have something to eat in a little while. In the meantime, let's play games or something. I'll call up some chorus girls and we'll play post office. That's all we need, chorus girls and no food. Say, I'll tell you what, fellas. How about playing blind man's buck? Oh, that's right. I'll be the blind man. Who's got a handkerchief? Just take off your glasses and we're all set. Oh, stop, will ya? Have you got a handkerchief done? Well, I know a better game, Jack. Let's play Jello. Oh, fine. How do you play it? Well, I'll take a lot of boxes of Jello and hide them all over the house. Uh-huh. And the first one that finds all six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. Yeah. Wins a $10 prize. Say, that's a swell game. Yeah. Hey, wait a minute, Don. Who puts up the $10? Well, uh, Jack, uh, it's your house. There'll be no gambling on the premise. Ryan told me somebody... Take it easy, Jackson. The last time we played this game, it took us two hours to get your head out of the Goldfish Bowl. Oh, that's right. I know a swell game, Mr. Benny. It's called Clap Hands. What's that? Well, you folks sit down. I'll sing a song, and when it's all over, you all clap hands. Fine gas, a little dull, isn't it, Dennis? It's better than getting your head caught in a Goldfish Bowl. Well, maybe you're right. Sit down, everybody. Dennis is going to sing for us. I want to play that game where I can win $10. Well, go on a quiz program and don't bother us. Go ahead, Dennis. Sing something. Rochester, there's someone at the door. Maybe it's me again. Answer that door. Sing, Dennis. He's the laziest person I ever met. You home again, Kathy? Delivery, boss. I gave it to Miss Livingston. Oh, did you give the boy a tip? How could I? You keep the tip money in the glue pot. I'll reimburse you later. What's the letter, Mary? It's a comic Valentine from New York. New York, eh? Well, I have a pretty good idea who it's from. What kind of a Valentine did Arsenic and Ole send me? Read it. To a comedian. And you're as dumb as Dennis Day. That's very funny. Yeah. Valentine gets the Valentine I sent him. Somebody at the door, Rochester. How do you know I'm back from Mr. Coleman? I'll pop over and answer the door. Okay. Just silly. What could he do in a barrel? Always grumbling. Hey, boss, look who's here. Hey, so I thought I'd come over and surprise you. You certainly did. How old are you, Buck? Well, Andy, I'll never see 36 again. Even on a clear day. Very cute, Andy. And where's my present? Your present? Yes. I got two of them, Buck. Ma sent you a jug of sweet cider. Uh-huh. And Pa sent you a jug of hard cider. Well, look at that, two jugs. Which is which, Andy? There goes Pa's. It's coming all over the floor. Quick, get me a sponge and a pillow. Get away from there, Harris. What's the matter with you? Say, Andy, you're putting on a little weight, aren't you? Yeah, eight weeks. Andy, you're pretty sharp tonight. Sit down at the table, everybody. Our dean's a piece. And lots of popovers. Dig in, kids. There's someone at the door, Rochester. I'm busy, boss. Answer that door. Andy, I'm sure glad you dropped in. I had no idea that you'd remember my birthday. As a matter of fact, I didn't know... Oh, good evening. Come right in, Mr. Marshall. Yipe! Holy smoke, it's Herbie. Hello, everybody. Happy birthday, Jack. Well, thanks. Gee whiz, Herbert Marshall at my house. Quick, Mary, phone Luella Parsons. She'll never believe us. Phone her anyway. Well, Bart, you're the last person in the world I expected to see on my birthday. You know, Mary and I were just... Oh, I'm sorry. This is Andy Devine. How do you do, Mr. Devine? I'm glad to know you, Mr. Marshall. You want to buy a horse? Andy, not now. Gee, as I started to say, Bart, Mary and I were just sitting here, not even thinking of having company on my birthday. Stop looking at the package in his hand. I'm not looking at it. Oh, yes, yes, the package. Here you are, Jack. A little remembrance. Many happy returns, old boy. A present for me? Gee, I feel like a darn fool. I didn't get a thing for you. This is your birthday, not Christmas. Oh, yes. Yeah, what am I thinking of? Hey, Dennis, get Mr. Marshall a chair. Gee, I'm all thumbs opening this package. Here's a chair for you, Hubert. Thanks, Dennis. Yeah, I can't seem to get this... the string untied. Stop shaking. Well, I'm so anxious. My name is Billingsley, Mr. Marshall. I'm glad to know you, Mr. Billingsley. Mr. Billingsley, sit down. Please. Darn this string. Gee, I tried to open this present. There, I got it. Well, thanks, Bart. Thanks a million. Hey, fellas, look. Look what he gave me. Look at these beautiful kaflings. I mean kaflings. 14 carats. Cheapers, he looked already. Well, they're beautiful. By the way, Bart, what's in that other box? That's a gardenia. I brought it for Mary. Well... He's just like all the other fellas. He starts out with orchards, and now I'm down to a gardenia. Quiet. Very good, Mary. Then better if she hadn't muffed it, Bart. I can't. I can't get over these kaflings. Thanks again, Bart. Thanks. I'm so glad you like my gift, Jack. You know, Jack, it's hard at the time to mention it, but I'd rather have the impression that you didn't like me. I didn't like you? Why, Bart, what do you mean? Well, I felt that you resented my taking over your program. While you were in New York. He said, me? Listen, fellas, did I ever say one word against this gentleman? Did I? You see, Bart, you're wrong. I regard you as one of my best friends. Ah, you're full of kaflings. Mary, smell your gardenia. Well, Bart, Bart, won't you join us at the table? Yeah, sit down, Herbie, and have some chow. Thanks, I believe I will. And here's a plate, Bart, all fixed. Well, two and a half sardines and a biscuit. Well, it's not much. I really must apologize. Not at all. This is fun. It's like being shipwrecked. That's what we're having, a shipwreck party, you know? Yes, sir. Won't you have some of this punch, Bart? It's very good. Yes, have a cup, Bart. My, what a beautiful punch bowl. Yes, yes, it is. Ronnie Coleman's, isn't it? Yes, it is. We're very dear friends, you know. Or watch us to bring Mr. Marshall some tea. Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea. You'd like some tea, wouldn't you, Bart? Yes, thank you. How would you like it, Bart, with lemon or with irradiated, homogenized, vitamin D, evaporated milk? You can have either one. Well, Jack, I think I'll just have some extra juicy sun-ripened lemon. Oh, okay. Some tea with lemon, Rochester. Very good, sir. Hmm. Well, Andy, Andy, you never thought you were going to meet Mr. Herbert Marshall at my house, did you? Gosh, no, I feel like a darn fool with no shoes on. Well, keep them under the table, nobody'll notice it. Do you like the sardines, Bart? They're delicious. Oh, my goodness. Sardines and you haven't got a finger bowl. Oh, Rochester, bring in the finger bowl. You'll have one in a minute, Bart. By the way, Jack, what's that hanging up there on the chandelier? That's a pot roast. A pot roast on the chandelier? Yes. A weird custom, isn't it? Not a custom. It's an accident. You see, Bart, I know it sounds fantastic, but the pot roast bounced up there, you know? Bounced? Yeah. You see, here's exactly what happened. I was just having a quiet little dinner at home, not expecting anybody to drop in, and my man, Rochester, brought in this hot plate. See, well, I didn't know it was hot, and I grabbed for it. You see, the pot roast was on the plate. And the minute my fingers touched it, I threw it up in the air. Well, that's how it happened. It sounds silly, but that's the whole story. When you send in 10 cents for the new desserts recipe book, what does it buy you? Well, just listen to this. And remember, for just one single solitary dime, too, you get 365 different suggestions and recipes for all kinds of grand, tempting desserts. That's a new dessert for every day, right straight through the whole year. There are ideas for simple family desserts, special party treats, desserts for holidays, desserts for all occasions, big and small. And they've arranged this big 48-page book in such a clever, original way that you can turn right to the dessert idea you want in five seconds or less. The moment you lay eyes on it, you'll say it's the smartest way to design a recipe book that anybody ever thought of. And you'll also say it's the most beautiful book of its kind ever printed. Pictures? Say, you never saw so many lovely paintings and color photographs in your life. But get the book and see for yourself. Place a dime in coin or stamps in an envelope and send your name and address and mail it to Don Wilson, care of General Foods Battle Creek, Michigan. That's right, just ten cents and the address is Don Wilson, care of General Foods Battle Creek, Michigan. Do it tonight. The last number of the 20th program in the current Yellow Series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time broadcasting from Palm Springs, California. Palm Springs! Yes, sir, we're all going to have a little vacation. Say, Bart, would you like to come to Palm Springs with us? I don't think I'll be able to, Jack. I'm making a picture, you know. Oh, well, if you can possibly make it look us up, we'll be staying at the Cactus Blossom Auto Corps. Good night, folks. K-E-L-L-O-N-K-A, Sanka. That's the name to write in your memory book, ladies and gentlemen. S-A-N-K-A, Sanka. That's the name to say to your grocer because Sanka is real coffee. It has a rich, delectable flavor, and it protects sleep because it never prevents sleep. It's had the sleep-disturbing caffeine removed so anybody can drink delicious Sanka coffee and sleep. Sanka coffee presents we the people over another network every Tuesday night. This is the National Broadcasting Company.