 Hello, beautiful people. I wanted to take some time today to talk about a subject that You know, I think it's very important to talk about But I also usually hesitate to talk about it in daily conversation because there's a lot of stigma and a lot of judgment That generally come along with it. But you know what? It's important to talk about so let's dive in and chat. I Have been on prescription narcotics, which are like Vicodin, Percocet, things like that since I was 20 When I tell people that there is generally a look of concern and shock and horror and it's generally met with questions about being an addict or Do I abuse it or things like that and if it comes from like a good friend who's concerned about me Please ask. It comes from random strangers Seems a little out of place, but I understand the concern because there is such a problem with drug use and abuse specifically in America and I believe the rest of the world and especially when it comes to opioids and Prescription drugs with that being said, I just wanted to share with you kind of my experience of being on narcotics for the past seven years of my life I want to start off by saying that there is a difference between addiction and dependence. I have been dependent on Drugs on opioids. That's when your body will go into Withdrawal when you're when your body is actually dependent on substance and it will have a bad reaction if you take that substance away Addiction is different. Addiction is when you are physically and mentally Dependent on it when you need more and more of it when it becomes a real issue when it becomes destructive Addiction is why people end up in rehab addiction is usually what happens when people abuse medications when they take it the wrong Reasons the wrong times the wrong dosages too much of it so on and so forth So I had a really bad horseback riding accident as most of you know when I was 13 I felt the horse I shared my ankle but I also really hurt my neck and I found out later years that I also have a brain condition called a Kyari malformation which essentially means that I tell people my brain is too big for my skull Which is actually physically accurate My brain is too big and my skull is too small and so the back of my neck is In a lot of pain combined with the injuries from that horseback riding accident often I also get really bad migraines that is in part from the Kyari malformation. That's also just from Genetic luck. I get chronic migraines, which means I generally get them more than half of the month I get them a lot of days after that horseback riding accident I started trying everything that I could to deal with the pain. I went to chiropractors many times physical therapists many times I tried acupuncture. I've tried the essential oils. I've tried you name it I probably have given it a shot at least once if not many times over But after seeing many many doctors by the time I was 18 I was referred to a pain management doctor pain management doctors are essentially specialists for pain and Pain doesn't always have a cause. Generally it does. Sometimes it's hard to find. A couple years ago I actually went to the Mayo Clinic because of the Migraines like the constant migraines I was having the constant pain and they essentially told me that it was bad genetics and the Kyari malformation and My neck was messed up and it didn't really have a fix. It kind of is what it is And so I have been trying to find a way to get up with medications Ever since I got on them when I was 20 I got on two narcotics previous to that They put me on things like tramadol, which isn't narcotic. It's a heavier painkiller. You can't get it like over the counter It just wasn't super effective for me. And by the time I hit 20 I wasn't really able to Function like I was in so much pain all the time I couldn't do much of anything and so they started giving me heavier medication that allowed me to be able to Function like make it through days to want to stay alive and It's been a good tool With that being said, it's also a terrible tool. I hate being on Narcotics, I've always hated being on narcotics. They slowly kind of kill your body They do not do good things to it, especially long term They are not meant to be a long-term solution They make it really difficult to control pain when it gets out of control like after surgeries and stuff like that It's always been hard for doctors to control pain for me like in the hospital and stuff like that because my body is so accustomed to having narcotics in my bloodstream that I need a much higher level of them when things are bad To actually work So one of the reasons I had this amputation Was to take care of one of the sources of my pain and maybe Get my body in better alignment because I was always limping so bad It kind of like threw my body off all the time And I thought you know what maybe this will help my like neck and spine stay better in line and I can be more active Which always helped so I am always searching for ways to get off of medication I Have been Ridiculously lucky and I really mean that in that I have never struggled with addiction I've had a really good support system and really good doctors I'll get drug tested regularly which I'm super on board with and grateful for because I really don't think anyone has ever above Addiction no one ever plans for that like no one ever wants that no one's ever like hey, this sounds like a great idea I think I'm gonna start abusing medication it just happens and so I've been able to put checks and balances in place between the excellent Doctors that I have when it comes to pain management and also family and friends like checking in on me and Ask any questions like hey, how's how's everything going with you know? Your medications are you still taking in the way that you should because I've asked people to ask me those questions and so because of that that is Honestly stopped me a few times from taking too much medication when things were really just crappy in life And I wanted to erase pain and you know what like this is a great way to do that Except that it's not a great way except it leads to very very destructive thing So I am very very blessed and grateful that that has not been an issue in my life And I really hope fingers crossed and all intentions set in this direction that as I recover from this surgery I will continue to be able to get off of medication I've been on a different medication post surgery that was a little bit stronger But I've come up with almost all of it and I've not gone on the medication I was on before surgery and things are okay So I'm trying to take things slow and I'm really hoping that maybe I won't have to go back on medications Perhaps that's naive, but I could hope and At least to work in that direction I think that chronic pain can be really difficult for a lot of people to grasp because there is a context for it because it's not normal to hurt every second of every day in marrying degrees and Most people that I've interacted with which isn't many but most people I know that are in chronic pain do a good job of Faking it for brief periods of time. So like I can be super happy, you know and I can go out and be social and still really hurt and It's not that I'm faking being happy It's just that you learn to like suppress the pain and do your best to like function anyways but it takes a lot of energy to do that and so I do not go out and do nearly as many things as other people. I end up canceling plans I don't say often but often because it's too much because the pain is too much someday because I just like can't manage it so living in chronic pain is Is an odd existence because you try very very hard to be normal to like be a normal person and like be put together and not burden people with being Sad or upset or gloomy all the time because pain kind of makes you feel that way But it's hard Not to feel that way sometimes and so I think it's a process I've tried to figure out What life looks like for you and what life has looked like for me as someone who has lived in chronic pain for years Has been a combination of drugs which help it do not like taking but they help they help me Be able to work. They help me be able to be a Human and a friend and a wife and a daughter and and everything and not want to just die all the time Which isn't great Combined with things like exercise is super helpful. I found that that really helps it gets blood moving It helps prevent migraines for me. It like loosens up my neck And now that my ankle is gone, which hurt to exercise I think it'll be really good and I'm hoping that it will prevent even more pain So fingers crossed for that and I have high hopes for that I've definitely combined that with like getting emotional support and help because there's definitely like an emotional Component to living in chronic pain as well. So that's a little bit about drugs and chronic pain and Narcotics so I would welcome any questions that you guys have. I am happy to talk about this I think it's a an odd topic because like I said, we don't usually talk about this unless we're talking about like drug abuse or Odine from opioids or narcotics. So if you have any questions at all, I would love to answer them And I would love to chat with you guys in the comment section I hope this video finds you on a lovely day in your life and I look forward to seeing you in the next video I'll talk to you soon. Bye guys